Comments on: The female libido fairy

By: Lilly

Lilly — Thu, 02 May 2013 23:49:03 +0000

Jacqui.

Simple solution. Have your own bedroom each…then the fun can really begin..and each other’s spaces can bed held with more respect.

By: B

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 06:26:28 +0000

You’re not alone!

By: snowlion

snowlion — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 00:10:35 +0000

So, as I read it. You work days, he works nights. You sleep at night while children are also asleep. He looks after children in day and does a little housework while he should be asleep, but it’s not enough. Mmm. That’s all.

By: Jash

Jash — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 06:57:02 +0000

‘O’ women are always getting themselves ‘in the mood’…why can’t men get themselves ‘out of the mood.’ You can’t compare going to a wedding occasionally with the feeling your body is being invaded or used, often, when you are not in the mood. Your body is a personal thing and especially when you have children, your personal space becomes so precious because you have so little of it. Women don’t have to hand their bodies over. Yes couples should do things for each other but never should a man assume he has a ‘right’ to his partner’s body, just because he has needs and they are in a relationship. His biology is his problem… like periods are hers! It’s the whole attitude behind it that bugs me, this sense of entitlement once you get together with a woman. Women are always making the concessions, when are men going to start sacrificing what they want?

By: O

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 04:29:55 +0000

I would have thought that having a partner meant that you do things you might not necessarily like but do it anyway for your partner’s benefit. But what you are saying is that if your husband doesn’t want to go to your parents’ place or go to a wedding etc then he doesn’t have to and you would completely understand. Or does this only work for females and men have no right to expect the same noting how obsessed with equality females are.

By: Anon2

Anon2 — Wed, 23 May 2012 13:21:37 +0000

I am there with Anonymous above I have 2 young children and that is also a perfect description for me.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 04 May 2012 00:53:39 +0000

Do you have children yet? Can’t say this would have interested me either before having children, but now it is the perfect description of my sad little fantasy.

By: paul

paul — Tue, 01 May 2012 05:36:54 +0000

My wife does all of that but oddly enough I still want to sleep with her.

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 23:35:00 +0000

Cate I accept that some women have strong libidos, lucky you. I guess the point I was trying to make was that the starting point in the bedroom has always been the male’s needs. So for the probable majority of women whose libidos don’t match their partners, they have started off from the point of feeling guilty and it has all been negotiated from there. They are set up to fail in this situation. What if women took back the right to ‘own’ the bedroom and have their libido as the beginning negotiating point with their men seeing anything outside of what the woman wants as a bonus? I think this would be revolutionary for women, I have met SO MANY who complain about the chore of sex and it is such a shame they feel that way. They do feel like prostitutes spreading their legs when they don’t feel like it. I have so many examples. One friend jokes to her husband “Will it be lefty or righty tonight?” in reference to his hands as her way of indirectly saying no. (Key word ‘indirectly’). Her husband knows this to mean ‘not tonight’. Another was sorry for her hysterectomy because even though she stopped getting dreaded periods, she no longer had an ‘excuse’ each month. An elderly aunt mentioned to me one day with a giggle how good it is at her age not to have to say ‘no’ all the time. My mother-in-law tells of so many nights where she was completely exhausted but still felt she had to dress sexy for bed and ‘attend’ to her husband…yes a 60′s marriage. Numerous others have confessed to me of going to bed earlier or later than their husbands, to avoid sex. It goes on and on. When does what the woman wants become important? I wonder if women were truly honest, what they would admit to. Women’s beds should be a haven, not somewhere they expect to feel ‘hit on’ every night when they crawl in (collapse into if mothers of small kids). When I think about all the women who have gone before us and what they must have endured, with 8, 10, 12 kids and still the expectation to give their husbands his ‘right’, my blood boils. Society has robbed women of the ability to normalise their own needs by completely overshadowing theirs with men’s. Maybe if women felt they had a choice in the bedroom, they would want it more. I feel for you Cate in that you are so wanting your husband to be responsive to your needs, and all else you have both obviously gone through recently. Intimacy is such a difficult route to navigate between couples. I just wish for those women who don’t want it, they had the right to say so – without guilt.

By: Hump Day – Phrase and Picture Association » Plus Five Gear

Hump Day – Phrase and Picture Association » Plus Five Gear — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:06:04 +0000

[...] “Every time a man lies in bed pretending not to hear a crying child, a female libido fairy die… My f’ing illegal immigrant libido worker is trying to figure out if it really was worth the thousand dollar drug mule trip through miles of tunnels to be abused like this. He actually wants deported. [...]