by REBECCA SPARROW
Over the past 20 years they were my go-to girls: Bridget Jones. Carrie Bradshaw. Mary Tyler Moore. Murphy Brown.
Strong, independent, fiesty, hilarious, loyal, career-driven and most importantly single women who taught me there’s more to life than having a husband; that being single in your 30s and yes, even 40s was ‘okay’. Hell, it was exhilerating. Why settle for Mr Nearly Right when life could be full to bursting with girlfriends, hook-ups, blind dates, cocktails, dinner parties and the snakes and ladders game of career fulfillment?
It was an intoxicating and very welcome message for any woman over 30 who was spending her Friday nights alone on the couch eating weetbix while she watched Australian Idol. Or maybe that was just me. But in the year I turned 32, my boxed set of the Mary Tyler Moore show gave me a raison d’etre.
I was single, a writer and living alone in a shoebox studio apartment in the inner city. And Mary Richard’s refusal to apologise to the world for being single and loving her career did more for my self-worth than any Anthony Robbins lecture ever could. If I could have left the house in a beret every morning, I would’ve.
But the question is, did Mary and Carrie and Bridget and Murphy sell us a lie?
That’s what British journalist Claudia Connell is asking. And let me tell you, if you’re single and over 35, Connell’s column in the Mail Online is the equivalent of a sucker-punch. At 46, Connell is single and feels like her fictional heroines of Carrie and Bridget let her down.Or, more to the point, left her at the party while they went on to have a life.
Claudia Connell.
I was part of the Sex And The City generation — successful, feisty women who made their own money, answered to no one and lived life to the full. When it came to men, our attitude to them was the same as it was towards the latest must-have handbag: only the best would do, no compromises should be made, and even then it would be quickly tired of and cast aside.
What none of us spent too long thinking about in our 20s and 30s was how our lifestyles would impact on us once we reached middle-age, when we didn’t want to go out and get sozzled on cocktails and had replaced our stilettos and skinny jeans with flat shoes and elasticated waists.
When I look around at all my single friends — and there are a lot of them — not one of them is truly happy being on her own. Suddenly, all those women we pitied for giving up their freedom for marriage and children are the ones feeling sorry for us.
Freedom is great when you can exploit it; but when you have so much that you don’t know what to do with it, then it all becomes a little pointless.
Connell goes on to talk about the mistakes she made following dating advice guides like The
Rules which operate on an assumption that men will always be knocking on your door. And how any woman over 45 on a dating site is about as welcome as a parking ticket. But it was Connell’s closing words that left me thinking …
The brutal reality remains, however, that Carrie Bradshaw and Bridget Jones — our fictional, singleton poster girls — ended up living happily ever after. Even the writers behind those characters couldn’t accept that they’d be happy to stay single for ever — which does make me feel a little cheated.
Carrie and Bridget were lucky. The same can’t be said for the millions of women, like me, who were so inspired by them.
Murphy Brown was smart and single.
Big, Mary ended her series single but in a reunion episode the writers had her married to a New York Senator. And as for Murphy? She found the ultimate cure for loneliness by becoming a single mother.
Comments
224 Comments so far
Maybe who Claudia has to blame is the people who decided that getting married and having kids is the end of your life, the end of your freedom.
Since getting married and having children (not exactly in that order!) I have lived overseas, travelled overseas, continued to have sex with my husband, still go out late at night, changed careers, moved to new cities etc.
Admittedly the first year or so after each child is born is a bit of a black hole, but my life hasn’t ended.
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But Carrie and Bridget weren’t trying to stay single???? I am a bit confused by this article. They were obsessively focussed on finding a man. Carrie never really celebrated being single – she nearly always had a boyfriend, whether it was Big, Aidan or all the ones in between. So how would they inspire anyone to stay single?
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Thank you! I was starting to think I was the only one who actually watched these shows/movies. Everyone is talking as if SATC was all about women who didn’t want a partner, which I really do not agree with at all. 3 of them were constantly looking for love (not just sex). And Bridget Jones was not even a happily single girl – the entire book/movie is about her trying to stop being single.
What I got from SATC (in particular) is that there is more to life for women than just finding a partner. That women can have a life while they are looking, if that is what they want, or if they don’t want a husband, that is OK too. Love is part of life, not all of it – there is still friendship, careers, sex, family – the list goes on.
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This article makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Anyone who watched Bridget Jones or SATC with more than a passing interest would know that they were both based around finding ‘the one’. They didn’t celebrate singledom; it was treated as a consolation prize.
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Hi Lou
But the point is, I guess, WHY do female TV characters have to end up happily ever after with a man (other than Murphy Brown)?
Know that I mean?
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Well, that’s a different topic to the one espoused in the above article!
But to answer your question, I don’t think it’s just women who are portrayed this way. Even poor old Mr Bean was always looking for a companion, and George Castanza (Seinfeld) battled with his desire to settle down or keep playing the field. Not unlike Carrie Bradshaw! ; )
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As much as we hate to admit this – women are happier in a great relationship with a man than they are at their happiest being single. Of course I’m generalizing though.
And in general, men also love being in a happy and fulfilling relationship yet I think there a lot of men out there that are very very happy being single. Much happier than single women. Often a lot of my male friends say they were at their happiest when they were single even if they are in a happy relationship.
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I think that’s quite a generalisation and statistically men that are married tend to live longer than single men, just as single women tend to live longer than married women.
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Statistically that is correct.
The reason:
Men are much less likely to find a partner if they do not have the genetic strength to live long and provide, whereas in sexual selection men are less like to pursue women with strength and health characteristics. This has been a proven trait in many studies meaning the statistics are extremely misleading because the cause and effect are fairly exclusive of each other.
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You know what. I always get bored in relationships around 3 years in. I know that I’ll probably get proposed to in the near future and, whilst I would welcome it because I have the most beautiful boyfriend in the world, part of me would like to play the field on and off the rest of my life. Meanwhile I know my boyfriend is hanging to have kids. And would be the best – most loyal – dad and husband in the world. I won’t cheat on him. But in my heart of hearts, I know that I’m not naturally inclined to be married.
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I was like that as well. Until I met my husband. Even my male friend warned him I wasn’t the commitment type. But once I met him, I was.
I don’t know how anyone could be absolute about not getting married/settling down as you don’t know who/what is around the corner.
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Because I think that most people are hoping to find “the one” so we like to watch happy endings. Yes, another generalisaion, but I don’t know of anyone who is wanting to stay single for the rest of their life. I know of many who are OK, and even happy if that is the case, but none who would actually say no to the right person.
We all watch TV and movies because they are not real – we have enough of real life every day, no one wants to sit down at night and watch reality. We all use TV, movies and books to escape into some kind of fantasy, and I fully own that mine is the happy ending. I want those characters to find Mr Right at the end.
BTW, there are a couple of other movies/TV shows that don’t end in marriage – Miss Congeniality 2 is one that springs to mind.
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Interesting point Lou, but I can’t think of one female hero in film TV or literature who did not end up happily ever after with love and/or a baby. Lots of male examples though – James Bond is a good example. Adventures and sex galore, but never a wedding.
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Is there a Mr “M”?
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Good point. I LOATHE SATC, I like Bridget Jones but don’t relate to her. I think she’s a bit of a drip. I get really pissed off though when you hear stuff about how she represents us all – I remember the same being said when Muriel’s Wedding was out, and how all girls were Muriels on the inside.
I think female characters, while they do end up in relationships, the best ones are those who do it on their terms, which Bridget does to a degree. Elizabeth Bennett does it better though – and she’s happy to stay single until she finds someone she can handle and who can handle her (and is backed by her Dad in that!).
I’m trying to think of other female characters – will get back to you! My favourites are the ones who don’t change themselves that much, and find blokes who get and complement them – Beatrice and Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, Katharina and Petruchio in The Taming Of The Shrew, Lizzy and Darcy, Tracy Lord and CK Dexter Haven in The Philadelphia Story. There are uncompromising women out there.
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What about Elaine Benes from Seinfeld?
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O my god yes. Elaine – best and funniest female character on TV.
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What about Phrynne Fischer? She was devilishly single and independent and Aussie and a much better dresser than Carrie!
Happily and devoutly single. I loved reading those novels and last year watching the abc series with my daughter
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James Bond did get married at the end of one movie (cant remember which one) but then they killed her straight away and he never married again..! Guess they couldnt make future movies without him sexy and single..! Very interesting
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How about Miss Marple?
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I don’t think SATC encouraged women to be single. They encouraged women to stay true to themselves, and never ‘settle’ for a guy who isn’t right just because they don’t want to be alone. I think at its core Sex and the City is a show about friendship. They each had three friends who loved them unconditionally.
Those are the two messages that I took away from Sex and the City – your friendships are the most important, enduring relationships that you have, and you don’t need to have a man in your life to be who you want to be. I personally think falling in love with ‘the one’ and making it work is a bonus, not a prerequisite to happiness with yourself and your life.
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That is exactly what the show was about. Making the most of your life, whether you are single, in a relationship, or married. Nailed it!!
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I’ve always enjoyed watching Sex and the City, but I did notice for a show that was championing how great it is to be a single woman, the grand finale episode of the series had them all paired off.
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Could not agree more! I can see the importance of the sex and the city characters in terms of the fact that they represented a generation of women that weren’t really being represented in popular culture – the single working women in their 30s. And I love the show, I think it’s great! But come on – blaming a tv character for your life choices?? That’s your problem right there.
And I despise this assumption that if you’re not paired off by the age of 45, you will be alone FOREVER! Yes it might be more difficult to get out and meet people, but it is far from impossible. My aunt met the love of her life in her 50s. And I work as a speed dating host and I see people pairing off all the time in the over 45 age bracket.
I think women need to stop debating their identities in terms of partnered or single, and just own their choices (you make them for a reason) – and if you don’t like them, do something about it! Don’t sit around blaming a tv character.
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Just curious as you are a speed dating host… how do you know these couples pair up? Apart from exchanging their numbers as part of ‘ticking’ each other at the speed dating event, and maybe having a drink if they get in touch with each other, do you know if they go on to relationships at all? Or a second date even? Would love to know.
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Hi afw: it can be tricky, as when people have amazing “success stories,” they don’t tend to come back haha – but they often let our head office know, as we always like to hear good news
There have definitely been more than a few marriages of people who met speed dating (one of them is a friend of mine!)
I’ve also heard about relationships blooming from interacting with guests. People will often come to a few events, then disappear for a few months/years, because they’ve entered a relationship with someone they met speed dating. The relationships might not always work out, but many do get off the ground.
So anyone who feels like they’re stuck and not meeting enough new people – give speed dating a go!
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I don’t think that characters in popular culture have influenced women to stay single – if they had met a man that made them want to settle down, they would have. What these characters have done is make it socially acceptable to reject the wrong men and not be seen as a leper if you haven’t married. No woman has ever broken up a great relationship because she wanted to be single “like Carrie”.
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Like Hitch says (in the movie Hitch) – no woman wakes up in the morning saying “I hope I DON’T get swept off my feet today”.
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I don’t think that characters in popular culture have influenced women to stay single – if they had met a man that made them want to settle down, they would have. What these characters have done is make it socially acceptable to reject the wrong men and not be seen as a leper if you haven’t married. No woman has every broken up a great relationship because she wanted to be single “like Carrie”.
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Carrie wasn’t strong or independent, she lived for whatever dickhead she was dating and she couldn’t wait to start spending Mr Big’s cash. She had a good wardrobe but watch it again and try to tell me she wasn’t a complete trainwreck (and kind of a moron). Charlotte was just embarrassing. Samantha was the only woman on SATC who actually had her shit together, and by the end they’d just made her a hideous joke.
Terrible show.
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Kate, are we the same person? I couldn’t agree more, that’s exactly how I’ve always seen it. I couldn’t stand Carrie, and don’t get me started on Charlotte, what planet did she live on? I only liked Samantha and felt she was the only one who didn’t act like a spoilt brat most of the time.
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Omg Carrie was nauseating!! Don’t get me wrong, love the show. But Carrie couldn’t focus for one minute on anything but herself. Can you imagine having a friend so self interested that speaks only of herself?! Painful.
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These women are fictional characters designed to for a storyline. If you live your life inspired by fictional characters and then get disappointed that you forgot to write your self a happy ending then… what can i say?
Be inspired by real women, who do something.
Women, teach your daughters to aim higher than designer bags, cocktails and infinite freedom.
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True. But don’t you think it’s interesting that female TV characters always have to end up married by the end of a show? But male TV characters don’t.
I don’t recall Magnum walking down the aisle ….
Thoughts?
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Totally agree, Bec. I was bloody annoyed when they married Carrie off, I would love to have seen her tell Big where to get off and continue on her merry way. She was his choice of “nurse wife”, he had the glamorous wife, he ran around with heaps of women, then he had a heart problem, got scared and married Carrie because she was still around.
Having said that Carrie and Bridget Jones are awful role models for women.
The fiction that is bad for women is also bad for men. From Sex and the City and Bridget Jones Diary show men that they can behave like a–holes and still be desirable to women.
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Was Mark Darcy an a–hole? confused
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No, but she ended up with the other guy!
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Bridget only ditches Mark because she’s an idiot, and she realises it. He’s not an arsehole to her – she’s an arsehole to him. She doesn’t end up with the other guy, she ends up with Mark!
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I’ve been wrestling with the “will I ever find love or be forever alone?” question since I was 16- and I’m now 22.
It hasn’t really helped that I’ve had exactly 1 date in my entire life- when I was 20 and the guy took me to see Jackass 3D and we had NOTHING in common.
And it’s not just the trouble mentioned in this article- that every girl who starts of as single and indpendant always finds love in the end; but that for every movie like this, there’s 2 more than are all about those ultimate love stories that every 16 year old girl dreams of finding.
Then there’s books, TV shows, musicals, etc.
Honestly, last year I was perfectly fine with being single, because I was doing my Dip Ed at uni and it was just insane. And this year I’m fine with it, because I’m living and teaching out in country NSW for the year and (despite what townspeople kept saying) I do not plan to be one of the apparently many people they have that move out from the city, fall in love and never leave. I’m a city girl through and through!
So, I’m not giving up hope for finding my happy ending. But do I still worry about it? Yes. Absolutely.
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I empathise so much with what you are saying. I am 22 as well, and like you I have been wondering if I will ever find someone for ages. It’s kind of ironic that I went to an all girls school and when I finished I was so excited that I would finally go to uni and be around boys. I have had two dates, with two different boys, neither of which went well (kind of implied since there wasn’t a follow-up date). I’m happy being single, but there is still this voice in my head asking me why I haven’t found someone yet, and thinking that maybe I’m just not the type of girl that a guy will fall in love with. It’s not that I am miserable or anything, I just would like to have a boyfriend so I can see if I like being in a romantic relationship or not as I have literally never been in one.
I get really frustrated how basically every chick flick/TV show ends with the main female character finding love. I watch them thinking ‘why doesn’t that happen to me?’ My single friends and I joke that we should write a movie where no one ends up hooking up with anyone as this (at least for me) would be more realistic than a 16 year old meeting the man of her dreams.
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Hi ladies – I remember feeling this way, and the advice I can give (now that I’m a decade down the track,happily married and have hindsight!) is…
Don’t go out with the intention of finding the one. Go out with the intention of ‘trying dates on for size’. Dating is more about finding out what you don’t like more than what you do!
It takes a bit of guts (sometimes a few champagnes help for courage), but if you see a guy that even vaguely interests you ask them out for a drink/movie whatever. Or if you get asked out, go! See what you like and don’t like. You don’t have to marry them on the spot, just try one date and see how it goes.
Lots of people say love just comes to you, but in reality it rarely rocks up when you’re sitting on your couch or going to the movies with your girlfriends. If you need a wider social circle, travel or join sports/theatre/social clubs to meet more people – who in turn may have some single friends.
Don’t fall into the trap of “I’m not pretty/smart/outgoing enough for a guy to be interested in me.” I look back on my single days now and see so many times when a guy was obviously interested in me, but back then I was so down on myself, that I had no idea!
The more people you meet, the more you’re enjoying life and broadening your horizons. You’ll really start to notice the type of guy you gel with and what your needs are in a relationship. Then one day, someone just might take your fancy for keeps!
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Anon, please don’t think about it so much if you can. You’re only 22, I met my big love at 25, which is still super young. Many people don’t meet that person until much later in life, and some don’t meet him/her at all, but I really don’t think you’ve got cause for concern at this stage. It doesn’t just magically happen at the age of 20.
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You are sooooo young! I get the stress, I had my first proper boyfriend at about 23, first real relationship (i.e. more than 6 weeks together) at 27. Sometimes it just takes time, the key is being open to it happening. The minute I stopped planning who I was going to meet and just met people it happened for me.
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I didn’t really start dating seriously until I was 26. I met the love of my life at 28, married at 31 and have a beautiful baby now at 32.
22 is hardly old, you have plenty of time! What I will say though, is that dating is very much a numbers game. When you feel ready to meet someone special, make sure you get and meet plenty of people. Somewhere amongst them you’re bound to meet someone you click with. Oh, and I was a country teacher for 2 years as well. I put my entire dating life on hold for those 2 years, as I knew that no guy could possibly be special enough to stop me from moving back to the city ASAP!
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I think the early twenties must be the time for ‘oh when will I meet Mr Right, it will never happen….”…it seemed to me that all my friends who had boyfriends in highschool ended up marrying them, and all my Uni friends were off backpacking. I was working in an office, lonely and despairing of ever meeting elusive Mr. Right.
All I can say to you is that whilst you feel like it will never happen, I can guarantee that you will look back in twenty years time and realise just how young 22 really is in the whole scheme of things.
I ended up meeting a wonderful man at 24, we’ve been married 18 years and have two little people. Even now I look back and think how young I really was when I got married.
And my friends who married their boyfriends straight out of highschool? Sadly most of them are divorced now and onto their second, or third marriage. We are not the same people at twenty as we are at thirty, or forty.
My advice? Don’t actively look for a marriage partner right now. Embrace opportunities to meet new people, to expand your horizons, to put yourself in places or groups you haven’t been before. He’ll be out there somewhere
(official old fart signing off now)
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22?! Oh my god – calm the hell down you are 22!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So much to see, so many people to learn, so much to learn.
The person you are at 22 is not the person you will be in 10, 20 years time.
Live your own life for a while!
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You probably dodged a very large bullet by not going out with someone that took you to see a jackass movie more than once.
I don’t want to tell you platitudes, because they never work, but just live your life for yourself, til or if you meet someone.
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Ooooooooo Bec, this article gave me a complete knot in my chest of fear of being alone forever – I’m 26!
I have been single now for 6 weeks after ending a 4.5 year relationship. I have realised that one of the things preventing me from ending the relationship (even though I wasn’t happy) was that I was scared of being on the shelf and never finding anyone, at 26. Of course, I fear the inevitable will happen with Ex Mr W – he is 28 and a lawyer, good looking and he will be snapped up by some very clever woman ASAP.
So why don’t I think that about myself? In part, I think it is because I have some low self confidence right now and in part, I think it is because society and the media repeatedly tell us that there are 16 single women for every 1 single man and remind us how hard it is and how much we should drop our standards and settle and give us stories about women who never met anyone and now can’t have children and are single and miserable.
WHY ARE THERE NO STORIES LIKE THIS ABOUT THE MEN?! Why should we not be focusing on having a happy life as opposed to being coupled up? The most important thing in life, is to be happy.
Your relationships are what is most important, and it is not even about a romantic relationship. You can get fulfillment out of wonderful friendships, your family, being an aunt, uncle, cousin, having a child on your own if you can afford it (emotionally, mentally and financially)! Yes, it would be nice to have someone who is with you until the end, but I don’t believe people should get focused on that. I want to focus on a happy life, rather than focusing on “finding someone”.
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I suspect in part its because mens fertility is not as time limited as a womans.
My boyfriend made a comment to that effect a few weeks ago and I suprised him by telling that, as a man over 40, he’s the riskier party in our union in terms of having a child with an illness or disability. I tihnk he thought he was fine, no matter what age.
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This is interesting, and I am sure most men have no idea:
The prevalence of miscarriage increases considerably with age of the parents. One study found that pregnancies from men younger than 25 years are 40% less likely to end in spontaneous abortion than pregnancies from men 25–29 years. The same study found that pregnancies from men older than 40 years are 60% more likely to end in spontaneous abortion than the 25–29-year age group. Another study found that the increased risk in pregnancies from older men is mainly seen in the first trimester.
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Oh W/S that is the best comment you have ever written on here – and you write plenty of great ones! I loved reading that. Go you
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Whippersnapper, I’m not sure why there is such a focus on getting coupled up but I genuinely don’t believe that most people can be happy and single IN THE LONG TERM. I am writing in capitals because I can already see someone getting all angry and going “but I’ve been single for a year and I’m prerfectly happy.” I am talking about being happy on your own forever kind of thing.
I am soon to be married but was single for a long time prior to that and I have to say after a number of years it all started getting a little depressing, I’d be lying if I said otherwise.
Yes, I had wonderful friendships, a great family, a good job, I travelled, I certainly didn’t sit at home with 10 cats and drink wine until I passed out, but that doesn’t mean I was happy.
I specifically remember times I’d go out with my friends and at the end of the night, they’d all be going home to someone (they were all coupled up) and I’d be going home alone. It was really depressing and lonely. I felt like you can have the best frineds in the world but at the end of the day they all had a life of their own and someone to go to.
I think it’s just a natural, biological need for most people and I personally don’t buy into the whole “I can be happy being an aunt and having great friends.”
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I think it’s how you respond to it though. What is sitting around getting all depressed about not having a partner going to achieve?
I like being single. Long term. It doesn’t scare me at all. I don’t yearn for a partner. I don’t go out of my way trying to find them – I have had boyfriends in the past, but never because I’ve decided “right, I don’t want to be single anymore, I’m off to find someone!”. It’s been because I’ve met someone who I liked and wanted to hang around with and they felt the same way.
It’s great that you’re happy now, but not all of us need that to be happy.
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Jess, at the risk of being Captain Obvious, I feel I should point out that a lot of people are lonely *in* relationships as well.
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Kris, that’s great, I’m glad you’re happy. And just to point out, I certainly didn’t decide to get married because I didn’t want to be single any more, I was single for so long because I refused to settle.
I agree that there is no point sitting around getting depressed about it, I never did, in fact I suspect that even those closest to me didn’t know how I really felt. It’s something that only I knew whereas to the outside world I looked like the happy “fabulous” single girl.
Lulu, yes, obviously a lot of people are in relationships and unhappy, no one’s denying that. Knowing that still didn’t make me feel less lonely after years of being single.
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I dunno, if I became a Judge or something like that, I’d be pretty bloody fulfilled, single or not. Imagine! Pinnacle career achievement!
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Loved your last paragraph – I feel exactly the same!
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But neither Bridget or Carrie WANTED to be single. Yes, there were aspects of it they enjoyed, but primarily the stories were about them looking for their life partner. Neither was planning on being single in their forties….not really sure how Claudia Connell feels let down. She chose a different path from her heroines.
Now if she had gotten married and found out that “Happy Ever After” is sometimes easy and sometimes bloody hard work, then I could see reason for crying foul..
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I absolutely love shows like Sex and the City that portray smart, independent, confident women, I’m 22 years old and am very, very happy on my own. I am an introvert and the idea of having a man in my house, every night I come home, expecting conversation etc, exhausts me. I think shows like Sex and the City are great because they show that not all single women are miserable/bitter/lonely/have no life etc. They offer an alternative to the so-called ideal that is pushed onto women from childhood: ‘one day you will meet a wonderful man, get married and have children.’ I’m not saying there is anything wrong with wanting marriage, a family etc, but I get really tired of people, particuarly older women in my family, talking about it like it is the holy grail, the pinacle of success, or if I don’t end up married I am somehow doomed to misery.
Having said this, I think it is naive to expect your life to turn out like a character’s in a TV show, or to stay single just because Carrie Bradshaw was single when she was your age. I wouldn’t say that any character has inspired me to stay single, but they have inspired me in the sense that they show there are plenty of ways to live your life that don’t involve married with kids by 25/30/35 etc and each and every type of life can be fabulous in its own right.
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Whilst its true that not all single women are miserable/bitter/lonely/have no life, I’d suggest single at 22 years old is rather different to single at 40 or 50.
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Rhiannon, I’m 26 and haven’t been single since I was 22.
The “oh so and so, at this party is an accountant and he is single and financially stable” comments have ALREADY started and I’ve been single for 6 weeks!! I never EVER had any of that when I was 22. People’s attitudes towards singledom do change!
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Ah yes, but is he mentally and emotionally stable? THAT is the big one!
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I didn’t care – I’m 6 weeks out of a long term relationship! I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest and I was really annoyed I already have people saying rubbish like that to me.
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That sucks.
I think it’s worse when you’re gay: there seem to be some people who try and match-make two people on the grounds that they’re both gay and therefore would automatically be interested in each other.
Would drive me nuts…
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Good lord, don’t they at least allow you some time to get over a long-term relationship!
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I know. I was annoyed about it. I’ll stay at home and drink wine on my own if this is how people are going to carry on at parties!!!
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This is tongue in cheek, OK…but an awesome response would have been:
‘Oh, I don’t know. I think I might just sleep around for a while.’ True or not, it may have shut some up!
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I think it’s absurd to blame fictional characters for your life. It’s fiction. I love those shows but I would never blame my choices or furthermore, base my choices off of them. It’s as ridiculous as believing Fifty Shades of Grey could happen or that I’ll meet the vampire of my dreams.
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Vampire of my dreams – made me giggle! I agree Rhonda, it’s make believe girls..wonderful entertainment and escapism. For true inspiration look to the women in your lives living real …those that that have gone before you, those that are walking beside you and those young ones that are following.
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Hi Rhonda
But don’t you think it’s interesting that female tv characters must always find love in the end. Male TV characters are allowed to stay single.
As I said to someone else above … I don’t remember Magnum getting married in the end?
Isn’t that part of the message we send to women …. be single but not forever.
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I have to agree, I really disliked how SATC finished with all four girls neatly paired up. It seemed too contrived and unrealistic.
There was an episode earlier in the series which ended with Carrie wondering if one of her “two great loves” was actually the City (New York) itself. I think that would have been a much more poignant, realistic and helpful-to-women finale.
(Also, it would have been more poetic justice-like – I never quite got over what she did to Aidan…..)
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I think TV is changing. I agree, going back to Magnum days there probably was a lot of male characters left happily single, and there weren’t many male characters who were unhappily single – there are lots now.
Have you seen “How I Met Your Mother” – the entire show is about Ted trying to find the love of his life because he doesn’t like being single. Ross on Friends was similar – come to think of it, so was Chandler. Castle on Castle and Booth on Bones have both been the party “pining” after the girl hoping that she will change her mind (to be fair, they both have, but Bones at least is insistent it is only temorary). Big Bang Theory is all about the boys being partnered off rather than the girls, and Rachel left Packed to the Rafters by pursuing her dream career and leaving her boyfriend behind.
Also, Ally McBeal finished the series single, both Calista Flockhart and Sally Field’s characters finished Bothers & Sisters single, and the best on of all, Olivia Benson from Law & Order SVU (yes, it’s still going, but after 11 season of her being single and the story hardly ever being about her love life, it’s still bucking the trend).
Yes, I watch a lot of TV ….
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Really liked this Bec – whilst I’m only 25 I’ve had similar thoughts about the future a lot recently after being single for the last 3 years,
Sure, I’m happy now doing whatever the hell I want… but what if that ‘want’ becomes a committed relationship and a family soon?
Choosing or wanting that unfortunately isn’t as easy to make happen as the lifestyle I lead now is.. one of being completely independent, seeing who I want, when I want, no rules etc..
Definite food for thought and I’m keen to know the answer, if there is one..!
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