.
Forget about Sex and the City. You don’t need to live anywhere near the CBD. There are some women in the ‘burbs who are just as romantically active as their city friends and it has nothing to do with being a Desperate Housewife.
I met ‘Anna’ at a mutual friend’s lingerie party and, after a few drinks and an hour bonding over a shared fascination with the late American novelist Richard Brautigan, she let it slip that she was married to a man called Jeff and also has a boyfriend called Jeff. The 36-year old mother of two said Jeff Husband stopped sleeping with her when their youngest son was born seven years ago.
“He just stopped thinking of me as a sexual being, only as a mother. He moved into the spare room when our son came home from hospital, and he just never returned to our bedroom,” said Anna.
Anna and I made plans to meet for a coffee a week later and she told me she did something ‘really stupid.’ She accidentally sent a loving SMS to Jeff Husband, intended for Jeff Boyfriend and, that night, her husband came home with flowers. And so she accidentally reignited her marriage. Yet, ever a quick thinker, Anna managed to persuade her husband she sent the SMS when she was having a bipolar episode.
I thought Anna was unique until I met ‘Melanie’ via our sons’ love of chess. We quickly became friends and, as I got to know her, I discovered how busy the 42 year old work-from-home mother really is; conducting not one but two affairs with stay-at-home Dads from her kids’ school. She’s only having ‘all the way’ sex with Dad 1 but she’s really fallen deeply in love with Dad 2.
“But I’ve come up with a no-penetration rule with Dad 2. We do everything but intercourse. I couldn’t live with myself going all the way with two men in the same week,” she confided.
In fact, Melanie claims one night she had a heavy ‘make-out session’ with Dad 2 and then, when she got home after midnight, her husband pounced on her.
“So I had foreplay with my boyfriend, followed by sex with my husband,” said Melanie.
As a freelance journalist, I recently interviewed ‘Caroline’, a petite 38 year old blond who’s married with three kids, about issues related to childhood bullying. Mid-interview, she felt comfortable enough with me to confess she enjoys a double life with a mechanic after meeting on E-Harmony.
“Luckily he only lives nearby so he comes over on his lunchbreaks for sex. It’s nothing seedy. We even have moments, mostly when we’re drinking, when we talk about leaving our families and shacking up together. But it’s not a conversation we’ve ever had sober,” said Caroline.
Caroline claims she still loves her husband, ‘in a way.’ What way? “As the father of my children. Plus, we have a long history together. We’ve been together 22 years. But sex with him is just awful.”
Dana is another fan of ‘school dads’ and claims three men have confessed their undying love for her in the past twelve months. I first Dana met her at a local playground when her 4 year old poured her water bottle over my baby’s head. Dana is incredibly pretty, in a Cameron Diaz way, but doesn’t believe her good looks play a part in the seduction.
“They fall for me because I pay them attention. That’s something they don’t get from their wives,” said Dana.
Dana is married to a TV producer and has no intention of leaving him. But, she admits she couldn’t stay in her loveless, sexless marriage if it wasn’t for her brigade of love-lorn daddies.
Oh, and one of her boyfriends is her son’s football coach, another is the father of her son’s best friend. They bump into each other at the local Woolworths, rugby games, bookshop, pub and, one time – she even indulged in fifteen minutes of sex in her car behind the local Thai restaurant. So far, her secret is safe.
“Nobody would ever think I was the kind of person to cheat. But I lie so much about what I’m doing and where I’m going, it’s as easy for me as breathing,” said Dana.
Bettina Arndt recently wrote about married women having zero interest in sex. Clearly this isn’t always the case – some women are just trying to recapture the romance of their youth and indulging in dangerous liaisons. But in the world of Sex and the Suburbs, what would these married mothers do if their whole house of cards came crashing spectacularly on their heads?
“What happens, happens. If I get caught, at least it will force me to deal with my situation head on. I’m not proud of myself right now but I’m so unhappy, these men feel like a life raft,” said Melanie.
LJ Charleston is a has-been TV Reporter, freelance journalist, author of crime novel Light Sweet Crude and upcoming book The Mommy Mafia. She’s currently writing a book Sex and the Suburbs after interviewing dozens of sexually busy women. Find her website here.
Sex in the suburbs? Is it really happening? You can choose to comment anonymously if you wish – just make sure you are logged out and not commenting through Facebook.
Comments
207 Comments so far
I”m thinking about the women, that these men who they cheat with, are married to. Dana, sleeping with her sons best friends Dad- I wonder if she is friends with his wife too? More than likely, if their sons are best friends. I guess we just never, ever really know what goes on behind closed doors.
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I could never cheat on my husband. While our intimate life is not perfect (are they ever?), we have a responsibility to our son. That responsibility is too raise him in an environment where we don’t give up on each other and to be his safe place, to function together lovingly. I understand not all marriages work, but I would fight tooth and nail to strengthen my husband’s and my relationship before I would ever cheat and risk the break up of our family. The idea to me is selfish, but I’ve never walked in those women’s shoes so I’d rather not judge them!
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Anyone who cheats should be very careful what they wish for. What seems like instant gratification is more likely instant ruination of the lives of those they love the most.
Unfortunately for the innocent bystanders in their lives, these women love themselves the most – hence their actions. However, while they’re concentrating on themselves, perhaps they should wonder why their husbands don’t want to be intimate with them. Don’t blame it on the babies, ladies, maybe you nag them like crazy and they can’t find anything sexy about you.
Go out and do something productive for someone other than yourself (your husband/children, maybe? Hint?!) – fill your time and get your self esteem boost in a genuine, lasting way, and for goodness sakes – start modelling positive relationships for your children to learn from.
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I don’t think it’s a sex issue so much as a self-esteem issue. Who doesn’t want to feel sexy and special & wanted? I have never cheated but I can see how this happens… to both mums and dads.
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I know two men who are raising children who aren’t biologically theirs. They have no idea.
Apparently the stats for this are staggering. Maybe men aren’t as good at lying or maybe on some level they want to get caught. I don’t know but I think women are giving the men a run for their money in unfaithfulness.
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That’s so sad
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I knew someone in this situation. They ended up separating for different reasons and he fought for sole custody and won. I’m not sure how to all came out but a couple of years later he found out hebwasn’t her biological father.
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wow… This sound just like me, when i was 17-20, unmarried, and ceeertainly DID NOT HAVE CHILDREN!!!!
What absolutely DISGUSTING behaviour by supposedly grown up women (&men for that matter!)
Why stay married when youclearly have other interests
My husband certainly better not be found escorting one of thesedirty mothers, or he wont have a doodle left to escort with!!!!!
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agreed.
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I am not surprised to hear this, gathering from the number of married men who contact me using online websites.
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Gosh, you’re a judgemental lot! What’s that saying about not judging somebody until you’ve walked in their shoes?
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I said in my post that I HAVE walked in those shoes.
I think I have a right to judge these women as I have judged myself.
Give me ONE GOOD REASON why they should be let off the hook. Nope, there isn’t one is there?
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Of course we’re being judgemental. These women are cheating!! Doing something that if found out will ultimately hurt their husbands and children. Hurting people you love is wrong and no matter what justification you use to back it up it’s still wrong. So if it wasn’t wrong and hurtful there would be no reason to be judged.
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Sometimes it’s very easy to see ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ Sometimes there are no grey areas. Extra-marital affairs are one of them.
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This kind of behaviour attracts judgement. And this article was written and posted on a public forum to attract comment.
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This is wrong on so many levels.
As far as I am concerned you fight for your marriage and work on it when things aren’t going too well. You don’t “fill in the gaps” with someone else.
All it took was a sexy txt message for Anna’s husband to make an effort to improve things… maybe it wasn’t just the husband’s fault after all?
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This behaviour is disgusting.
Unless you’re agreed on an open relationship with your partner, they are the only ones you should be sleeping with.
If you want to be with someone else grow some balls and break it off.
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*cheers*
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Not to mention the STD risks they are then exposing their husbands/wives to!
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Yay for freckles! It is so incredibly arrogant to decide for someone that they will be with you and in the dark whilst you do whatever you want. I think it’s more about me-ism than sex, people are lacking in courage, even the courage to be honest with themselves.
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Cheating is disgraceful. These women obviously have no regard for their husband’s dignity or feelings.
If you aren’t happy, leave the marriage or fix it. Don’t cheat – it’s a coward’s act.
And if you think I don’t know what I’m talking about, I do. I cheated on my husband 5 years ago (5 years into our marriage) and we’re just coming good now. I almost lost him, and realised too late that escaping a relationship through infidelity is no answer. I was a selfish, cowardly bitch and I didn’t deserve my husband. Luckily he didn’t want to be a single dad so we stayed together. He is only just starting to let me back into his heart now. I ripped it apart, and what I did was inexcusable. It doesn’t matter that I felt unloved, or lonely, or sexless. I should have fixed it from the inside, not the outside.
I am thankful he took me back, and I work hard every day to prove to him that I will never do it again.
Cheating is NEVER EVER excusable.
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You are very brave to be so honest and to keep going with your husband, to trust his love after you hurt him so badly. I really hope it all comes good for both of you.
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Thanks so much, that’s nice of you to say
We’re getting there. He recently started wearing his wedding ring again and I think I heard him say “I love you” when I was half asleep recently. Music to my ears! (if I wasn’t dreaming! I hope I wasn’t!).
I have worked very hard to get him back, and I wouldn’t have blamed him if he could never love me again, so I am so thankful.
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What bothers me most is the implication that the reason “Anna” gives for cheating is her husband left her bedroom seven years ago yet when she accidentally sends him a nice SMS he comes home with flowers – looks like she checked out off the marriage herself. This whole article makes me sick, these women have children and are selfishly abandoning their marriages for a bit of excitement – work on your marriage!
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This post just makes me really sad.
This is not the life I would want for me or anyone I know.
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I do believe that some ppl can raise a child with someone, love them as a friend and have open relationship. I can’t understand why they would chose to lie and cheat there way to happiness (affairs). There are so many more ppl affected when all these come to collapse. I am all for women and men, exploring their sexual needs and desires throughout their lifetimes, but of you need to lie and scheme on an hourly basis, I just can’t imagine their mental health will emerge unscathed. I have seen too many children especially teenagers lose trust in any relationship when they find out one of their parents has had an affair. Surely there is a better way to go about this?
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This makes me feel sick. In everything I do I always think ” is this how I’d want to be treated”. I understand some couples have ‘special arrangements’ but if ur not in one of those you should be man enough to make a choice. These women are nothing but selfish and I’m sure if they found out their spouse was doing the dirty on them all hell would break loose.
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I laughed out loud (in an incredulous way) when I read Caroline’s “it’s nothing seedy”, no not at all seedy, they just have sex on his lunch break, get drunk and talk about leaving their partners, all behind their partners backs, having met online. So I guess there are two things there, first if you can’t own something for exactly what it is and still do it , then you shouldn’t be doing it because your psychological framework is rusty and two, what the hell IS seedy if that isn’t? Armadillos? Priests? Alleyways? Reality check! In their own words these seem like desperately unhappy, in some cases unwell women. Anyone out there cheating who isn’t profoundly f:$&ed up or in denial? Speak up if so, it would be interesting to know.
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You know sometimes I wonder if stories like this are the reason i am single. Not necessarily that i am scared i will get cheated on or will cheat but that the relationship is not really that strong to begin with.
I once read that one type of commitment phobe is someone who wants life to be sooo perfect that anything less is not good enough so they would rather be alone. I really hope i don’t end up alone but i seem to subconsciously push people away. :sigh:
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I get the idea you are feeling a bit blue…or just wondering g if you’ve made a big mistake. You probably haven’t, everything changes.
Just go with the flow and try not to analyze yourself too harshly. When the right person comes along you will suddenly feel inspired to move mountains to make being with them work, especially mountains of your own “bs” for want of a better term. You end up doing it for yourself too, not looking externally but calling yourself out on all the walls you throw up to intimacy. Faith in your instincts is rarely misplaced, just recognize them for what they are. Wishing you whatever makes your heart sing. Hugs xx
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Thank you what a lovely reply! I hope i do bring down those walls for the right person!
Some people could say my issues are really “he’s just not right for me”
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: ) only you can say that! Enjoy your times ahead! Xx
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I’m the same but I’m proud of it. I’m not even 30 and I’m seeing friends’ marriages falling apart and I feel so lucky that it’s not me. I have two f*** buddies, I’m best friend’s with my son’s father and I meet guys but I just don’t think I can see myself being with them long term. I’d rather take the risk waiting for my perfect match than marrying just because I don’t want to be single which seems the case with a lot of marriages.
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Man I lead a sheltered life! I’m a SAHM and frequently catch up for coffee with Dads from the school community. It’s never occurred to me that I should be shacking up with them for some afternoon delight.
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Me too – my first thoughts when I read this were exactly the same as yours! I found it hilarious – probably only becuase it is so far removed from my life. I cant believe this whole other world exists … amongst the many others, I am sure.
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me too! although i have NEVER had a vibe from any of them. they are SAHD’s and are pretty busy with their kids i would never go there. can’t imagine being asked for a “playdate” by one of them!!
my life is clearly very boring. although reading these stories maybe it is my partner who is having some fun???
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Oh thank you. Reading this I was starting to think I should look more closely at all the stay at home parents around me to work out who was shagging who. Nice to know I’m not the only one who’s confident that there’s nothing going on other than friendly conversations
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I cheated on two out of three of my old partners…the reason? They were arseholes and I wasn’t sure if we should of been together. They both proved they were idiots (first one I cheated on was a prat when I got a job in a bar and accused me off things..at the time I didn’t do anything, then my nana died and I asked if he was going I travel up to my family home for the funeral and he told me to get effed! That was the end for me then we split) the next partner I was just a bitch basically…instead of walking away I cheated so many times, I told him I’d leave him and he didn’t believe me, we had went through a really bad place-out of our control which was the catalyst of ending or relationship, the cheating came after. He also caught me with a girlfriend (ma bad!) but didn’t want to see what was happening!) we spilt by his drunken, drug fuelled rant at me from the other side of the world…that gave me the courage I needed to end a relationship which basically had no future from the get go!
I’m sorry for the possibly hurt I caused them by my cheating, if they ever found out. As I’ve gotten older (grand old age of 33) I’m happy with my partner, in love with him and our three kids. I could NOT jeopardise that by some random shag with someone who means nothing! I actually had an ex “friend with benefits” chat me up while pregnant, reminiscing about our few wild nights and said when I returned home he’d love to catch up…obviously I was flattered but told him straight I was not interested in him or anyone else. My family comes first and always will. Heating with a family involved is like a car crash waiting to happen! No good can come of it! Grow up and leave your husband or stop being a tart and ditch your bit on the side!
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I have a married friend who is having a secret affair with a work mate (who was also married). Both have kids and mortgages and both of their spouses are lovely and devoted people who do nothing but try to please them (words out of the unfaithful people’s mouths not mine). My fiancé who works with them both found a bunch of emails between them that exposed their affair at least to us. My friends husband is good mates with my fiancé and it is killing him to know this! We are giving my friend the opportunity to fess up and come clean but I’m pretty sure she won’t. It’s ruined our social life, all our friends are either related to her or good friends with them also. News like this would tear our group apart – so we are now the lone doves who have to avoid everyone cause they want their secret to stay that way. I thought I saw her husband at the shops the other day, I was forced to run the other way
I can barely live with myself now with out knowing I bold faced lied to him. Ugh!!! What should I do???
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Mind your own business, it will sort it self out.
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So we lose all our friends and they get to keep everything? What happens when they do find out and we are the ones that knew and never said. I said to my friend that if her husband was doing this to her, there would be no question, I would tell her – what makes this any different? And I mean that sincerely, I need the advice
I currently can’t talk to anyone about this >< edit** btw my friend and her husband are godparents to my child, so it’s safe to say we are close to both parties, hence the hardnessesesesesss.
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Is there anyway news of it could get to her husband without it being traced back to you?
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Nah
and we are the only ones that know so it would be obvious. Not that I care if she knows it was us, it’s the internal turmoil we have going on that’s the problem. Keep our mouths shut and hold a massive lie OR be loyal to another friend but wreck their marriage. I know personally having had someone cheat on me and have people hide it from me, that I would want to know – I don’t want to be with someone who doesnt love me enough to be honest- but there is soo much heart ache to come from spilling the beans 
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If she is cheating the marriage is wrecked. I agree he should know. Tell him.
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Sounds like you already know and have decided what to do but can’t bring yourself to do it yet. Just think, are they your friends now? no, you can barley look them in the eye. Just because someone goes beneath their own ethics doesn’t mean you have to live with it or go below yours. It is not your burden to carry and in my opinion you should let it go!
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What if you do tell your married friend’s husband that his wife is having an affair, and for what ever reason, they do not break up, but decide to try to work things out and stay together? You may be a constant reminder of a bad time in their lives and they may not want to have anything to do with you any way.
In my opinion, you should not say anything.
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Then we would be in no less of a position than we are now. We don’t have them as friends at all at the moment.
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Well, if you say something, you may end up wrecking the marriage of your loyal friend (as you said), but what happens if THEY decide to stay together after all that has happened? The same thing applies, they may not want to have anything to do with you because you may remind them of a bad time in THEIR marriage.
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Well it’s a choice isn’t it, do we pick my friend or my fiances friend, he is just as close with her husband as I am with her. Either way I’m screwed. I say nothing, it comes out anyway,they break up, he thinks we are disloyal to him for not telling him earlier and she never speaks to me again – we do say something, they don’t break up and we are the ones that told – we do say something, they break up, they both are glad we said something but now we all have to socialize separately cause he hates her guts soo much that he can’t even be around her friends. Looks like I’ll just say nothing, hope my fiancé will do the same (fingers crossed, he loves his mates) and lose my whole social circle so she can get laid at work!
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No, you don’t have to lose anything, except your judgement of your friends’ relationships. As close as you think you are to your friends, the fact is, you cannot truly understand their relationship unless you are a fly on their wall, 24/7. Which you aren’t.
I’m sure all the judgement about other people’s affairs comes from a place of insecurity, fear, and a need to feel superior.
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Rubbish. Judgment about other peoples affairs can come from a sincere concern about the hurt it would cause
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It’s all going to go to crap when they get caught out anyway and you’ll be forced to take sides. So whether you dob them in or not, you’re caught up in it all anyway
I agree with charlotte – stay out of it. Act as though nothing is happening. And then make yourself scarce when it all comes out.
And this ‘friend’ of yours is a selfish bitch if she expects you to take on this burden. She’s cheating on her husband and putting her friend through a really difficult situation. I’d think long and hard about keeping her as a friend, not matter what the history is. You can always make new, morally sound, friends.
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Yeah the friendship is officially on mute. We can’t be around her or her husband now it’s just an impossible situation. We can’t go to the bbqs, gathering, WEDDINGS!! Of our mutual friend because of it and worse her husband has called my fiancé to go have a beer and he can’t go!! Now he thinks we have a problem with him. The thing is, if she was unhappy in her marriage and chose to leave her hubby, we would have supported her all the way, and him. Just be honest, if it’s not meant to be is not meant to be! But this way, me and my guy end up the dickheads stuck between a rock and a hard place.
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Oh dear. Have you talked to your friend about how it’s really hurting you? It’s an awful position to be in. As an outsider I’d say the truth is always the best thing, maybe tell her you give her three months to tell him or you’ll step in? Perhaps he already suspects, sometimes people know more than you think. often people describe that it’s not even the cheating but the betrayal (of friends too) that hurts the most so yiur poor fiancé would be feeling especially bad.
As I said though, I’m an outsider and not in yiur position so who knows if I’d be that brave if I were. I’d like to think so but I don’t know.
Good luck to all of you
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You don’t have to – I don’t understand why you can’t go to the gatherings?
Can’t you just ‘act normally’ and avoid the actual parties involved? If there’s a big enough group of you, that shouldn’t be too hard.
You shouldn’t be missing out! I’d be forcing normalcy if I were you and pretending you know nothing. Let your ‘friend’ deal with it – you shouldn’t have to burden yourselves.
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Completely agree!!! Not your business, pretend you don’t know and keep seeing all your friends!
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The thing I’m not hearing from these women is any sense of guilt towards the partners of these other men. It all seems very selfish, a la my husband isnt meeting my needs so I’ll go elsewhere to have them met. What about the impact on her son if his coach is found out to be having an affair his his mother, no thought seems to be going into how their behaviour affects others, it’s all just about what I ‘need’, and blow how it impacts on anyone else.
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I find the topic of infidelity endlessly interesting. I really hope people share their experiences and stories on here.
I mean, surely many of us have at least been tempted. I know I have. By an ex. It was ridiculous. He was a tool then and a tool now. BUT, sometimes, people just need to catch you on a low day, and say the right thing….
Also – on the topic of ‘men belonging to someone else’ – I have never bought in to the idea that a married person ‘belongs’ to their spouse, and therefore have never thought of putting blame on the person outside of the marriage. in my opinion, they haven’t done anything wrong, the person in the marriage has. But I probably am in the minority in thinking that…
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I agree with that – the person in the relationship is the one that has made the promises and vows
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I predominantly agree but I still have a problem with the person who comes onto someone who is married. It just seems wrong. I don’t mean a bit of flirtation but seriously trying to get in someone’s pants… I know it’s their fault if they stray but… Married people should be off limits. You’re essentially tearing a family apart by going after one.
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I have to say I disagree. The person outside the marriage isn’t blameless. I think having an affair with someone who is married is definitely wrong.
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I think if they KNOW the person is married, they’re as much to blame. Yes we don’t “own” our spouse, but they are your family. You’re connected and part of each other. Especially if you have children – you’re not just jeopardising a relationship, you’re taking away someone’s father. Yes it’s the married persons responsibility, but if you are actively persuing a married person, you are a cheater.
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Morals aside, I dont think I would have the energy to keep track of the lies. Sounds exhausting to me.
Give me a good book and glass of red thanks, next to the woman I married.
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Reminds me of one of my favourite sayings – if you always tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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Morally this is all reprehensible but I also can’t help but admire their energy levels! It is enough in my view to keep a career, family and ONE relationship going, never mind several!!! Who has the time or energy for more than that? But really, they are hurting themselves and of course the ones that have no say in this at all, their children who undoubtedly suffer from being in such fractured family structures.
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Totally agree. I’ve been married for 13 years to a great husband and two lovely kids. I spend my days enjoying my drama free life. The last thing I would be interested in is spending my days lying cheating and scamming the people I live with.
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Are there really that many people cheating?
Aside from the moral implications I want to know how these women (and men) find the time for affairs and how they are not found out?! I can’t understand how you could carry on a long term affair with someone and not be found out eventually.
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what i want to know is how all these women can be so forthcoming with disclosing such personal information to a virtual stranger. wouldnt they want to be more discreet?
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It’s probably just a whole lot of rubbish, made up in the hope of attracting interest and comments.
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It’s not just having ‘sex in the suburbs’ – it’s cheating! When did having affairs become so casual? So now it’s okay to brag about your multiple lovers (none of whom are your husband)? I can’t believe that cheating is okay, or even okay to share with others for an article like this one – these women wear it like a badge of honour or something. Taking your marriage vows so lightly is shameful to me.
I know that affairs happen. I’m not naive. I’m just surprised that we talk about them so openly now, and that it seems like everyone is having affairs. The casual attitude to infidelity of the women in this article just astounds me.
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That was my comment but I realised I forgot to fill in the name field.
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I agree – why do these women seem so proud of their affairs? If I was having/had an affair I think I’d be so ashamed I’d never tell anyone.
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I’ve slept with another man while married, 10 years ago, and the overwhelming nature of it for me meant it wasn’t something I could easily keep to myself. I told my best friend the next day, and my husband two days later. The guilt for me was overwhelming, and I can see how the only way for them to deal with it would be to trivialize it. That’s just my take, anyway.
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Yep happens everywhere! I dont condone cheating at all but in a kind of disturbing way I love hearing other peoples experiences. Fascinates me and I guess its like listening to a real life soapy! Sucks me in.
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haha i feel the same bee!
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When ever I read stories about when women cheat, there is always the associated excuse and implied understanding. ‘her husband was such an unatentive lover yadda yadda.
Yet when ever MM talk of men cheating, there is never any exploration of reasons or imlied pity, they are simply bastards that should have their balls cut off.
Indeed, bettina andt was called every name under the sun in here for suggesting men suffer great frustration in a sexless marriage.
Another day, another double standard.
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I don’t see a double standard at all Anon.
I think most people think cheating is wrong whether done by a man or a woman.
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No…I actually agree with Anon. There are so many double standards out there. If a woman cheats well…her husband is just a loser/unattentive/selfish/arsehole blah blah blah..somehow it’s all justified…but if a man does it he is just an absolute prick. No questions asked. Perhaps his wife is a cow? perhaps she has lost interest in sex – yes sex is important in a relationship folks – perhaps she emotionally drains him or she simply doesn’t listen. Or she just wanted a sperm donor or someone to help raise kids. It takes two to tango.
I wouldn’t of been surprised if my father (he didn’t – I don’t think) did cheat on my mother as it was all about her and her problems ALLL the time…but she never once asked or took interest in his day…she just talked AT him all the time. And I think that’s what some women tend to do…it’s no wonder some men cheat. Sometimes THEIR needs are not being met. Two way street ladies.
I think men getting treated dreadfully by some women…ie nag, put-down or sometimes physically assaulted…but would be horrified if some bloke did the same to a woman. The hypocrisy is breathtaking.
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I disagree completely. There are men that treat women badly and women that treat men badly.
You are obviously talking about your experience with your parents but you really can’t make that into a generalisation.
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Ummmmm…”There are men that treat women badly and women that treat men badly”….that’s exactly what I was saying…not toooo sure what you mean…..your confusing me here…
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In a wierd way i am fascinated by stories of women who cheat. Equally wierd is the fact that the stories of men who cheat make me feel sick.
I think its because I know I could never do it – both morally, and the fact that I would probably get caught out and lose everything. I found out my partner cheated, and the pain was excruciating so I wouldnt personally risk doing that to my worst enemy, let alone someone I love.
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I know it happens all over the place. But it makes me sick knowing that women (you know sisterhood and all that?) are so happy to sleep with another womans husband. If you’re that miserable end your marriage with dignity and then move on …and sleep around as much as you want..but not with people who are married. Nobody deserves respect under those circumstances, its just selfish, lazy and the ultimate fraud. Men and women equally.
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Every couple of years I get itchy feet (we have never married) I start to notice signals being sent my way by other men and will engage one time only. It is always with someone I know. My partner has never found out, my children dont know – it is wrong but it beats breaking up the family home or being a miserable fighting couple. There is nothing overly wrong in my relationship it is something in me. We have been together 12 years. I know my partner would be shattered if he knew.
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“I know my partner would be shattered if he knew”
ISN’T THAT TELLING YOU SOMETHING????
You’re so selfish.
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Sad But True….thank you for commenting. I thoroughly understand where you are coming from.
I was beginning to think I was the only scarlet woman on here!..when in reality every person who has ever imagined fucking someone different while they are fucking their partner can actually class themselves as cheaters too! But no…oh, the high and mighty responses I have received are just precious!
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You should be ashamed of yourself.
Are you?
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I can so see how affairs happen
People are weak
People like attention and want to be made to feel special
I know that I wouldn’t want my partner to cheat on me, and I hope I don’t ever cheat on my husband
But I can totally see how it happens
I just hope that if temptation comes my way I am strong enough to say no.
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Of course you are strong enough to say no. We all are!!
Saying “I wasn’t strong enough” is just a cop out.
I bet you’ll be just fine
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Wow I find this fascinating! I do not condone cheating though…it’s one thing to have an open marriage but it’s another to cheat repeatedly on your partner. It’s just not respectful…not getting sex isn’t a legit reason in my view to cheat and get sayisfaction elsewhere. Work on your marriage or get out, though I understand this is a very simple view. I don’t judge but I know I could never be capable of deceit like this…
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So why is this cheating condoned when done by women but condemned if men act this way?
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I wouldn’t say cheating is condoned at all in this article (or generally in society). This is more a description of people’s lives from what the author was told.
Cheating is never ok imo. Seriously, have the balls and end the relationship before you cheat on someone.
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I don’t see how you feel it is being condoned. The writer was just setting out the facts one after the other. It is up to us to discuss how we feel about it.
Personally, I just don’t know how you could lie so much to people you ‘love’. But I haven’t been in a sexless 22-year old marriage, so I can’t really understand what they are going through.
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Steve, I’m yet to hear anybody condoning women who cheat.
The scorn & names heaped on women who cheat compared to men doing the same thing is usally far worse.
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Hear here, Mel.
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Oh Steve, its not condoned. Never, ever, not one tiny little bit. Cheating, whether done by a man or woman is reprehensible and makes me sick…
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