The Mamamia sealed section is going off like schoolies on Viagra. This isn’t surprising – women have always wanted to talk about sex in a frank, non-judgemental way. Did you see what a reader was troubled by last week? And what another found in her partner’s bedside drawer the week before? Today we’re talking period sex. Some people aren’t bothered by it, others are freaked out. In fact, Jezebel reported that a columnist at The Thresher (Houston’s Rice University paper) replied to a student’s question about her boyfriend wanting to have sex at that time of the month like this:
It is my prediction that 90 percent of men’s stomachs will react to the idea of period sex like they were going through horrible turbulence after eating airplane food. My recommendation is to ask your boyfriend what he feels. If he is up for the idea, tell that pervert to go jump in a lake, preferably one filled with blood.
Right then. Predictably, Tracey gives a more considered response.
Today’s question:
“I’ve been married for 29 years and am 49 with three children all grown up. During my periods my husband still demands sex. They only last two to three days but are extremely heavy due to me being pre-menopausal. This causes friction between us as he has a high sex drive. I don’t feel great during this time and just want to rest my body. He tells me I am selfish. He thinks that other sexual duties should happen which I agree with however I feel drained by my situation. We have an excellent sex life other wise.”
Tracey Cox says:
“Emails like yours astonish and worry me. They astonish me because I find it hard to accept there are still marriages functioning under archaic rules like this, even though I know there are plenty. I worry because I wonder what else you have been putting up with. Do you feel you have any rights at all in this relationship or is he the boss in everything, including sex?
You’re daring to ask to be excluded from any sort of sexual activity for a mere two or three days a month? Dear God, men everywhere are throwing their hands up in exasperation, wishing their wives would even do the opposite: grant them sex more than two or three times a month! It is totally normal and acceptable for you to want to abstain from sex for those few days, especially if your periods are heavy and you don’t feel great.
Quite frankly, it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to also say you’re not interested in sex for other reasons too. You’re not a prostitute or a sex machine, you are his wife! A human being with needs and feelings of her own. So what if he has a high sex drive! Has he ever heard of masturbation and satisfying himself during these times? Or actually just channeling the need for sex into something else, like going for a run or perhaps reading a nice book about feminism? I’m sorry to be sarcastic but you’re not the one being selfish, he is. His demands smack of chauvinistic sexism and him treating you as his possession.
Again, I’m sorry if I am not being more sympathetic to his cause, but I am 100% on your side here and furious at him for making you doubt what is a reasonable request. I realise that after being married for 29 years he’s going to get a bit of a shock for you standing up for yourself but I’d strongly suggest you do. If you’ve stayed married to him out of love – which I’m guessing you have, if you say your sex life is ‘excellent’ otherwise – it’s time for a little chat. One that brings him into the 21st century and not stuck in the dark ages.”
Tracey Cox is an internationally recognised sex, body language and relationships expert as well as a TV presenter. She’s appeared on Oprah, CNN and The Today Show in the US, as well as numerous prime-time chat shows in the UK and world-wide. Her first book, Hot Sex: How to Do It, was an instant worldwide success and is now available in 140 countries. Her other book titles include Hot Sex, supersex, superflirt, Hot Relationships andsuperhotsex. She also has her own range of Tracey Cox Supersex Toys and Lubricants.
Follow Tracey on Twitter @TraceyCox or on Facebook here. Her website is at www.traceycox.com and you can buy her books here. Tracey also blogs weekly here
Comments
153 Comments so far
I find a big orgasm toward the end of my period brings it to a conclusion faster. Though not on day two or three – I happily give him a blowjob. He deserves it.
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I would find it unappealing if the man I was with thought I was somehow disgusting when I had my period.
Tell me: how is blood any more disgusting than semen? This is all just a construction.
I have sex on my period, I receive oral sex when I have my period. Perhaps it’s because the men I go for are always pretty easygoing and open-minded. I really think people need to stop thinking they’re disgusting when they go through this completely natural phase. Until men feel ashamed about ejaculating all over us, I’m going to damn well enjoy my period sex, damnit!
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I think the headline is a bit misleading. He wants sex when you have your period, great, most men don’t. The issue is he demands sex. Even worse he demands sex when you’re unwell, whether that is because of a period or any other reason.
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Great topic!!! Personally I get really heavy periods with bad cramping so could not think of anything worse at that time…. I know of friends who do it my husband finds it a bit gross as well but dont hold it against anyone it’s not like they are asking anyone to get involved and as for the email I mean if your period lasts for 2-3 days and he can’t wait that long he certainly holds absolutely no respect for you or what you go through
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Well, I’m on the pill and tri-cycle my packs, so I only have 3-4 periods a year (yay!!)
But no, we don’t have sex when I do.
There has definitely been times when we’ve both been frisky, and it’s not because he thinks its gross or anything, but I just don’t want to. Maybe it is immaturity (as someone else commented), but I just generally feel gross during that time, and very self-conscious of how it looks, how it smells, what a mess it makes, and in that frame of mind, it’s hard to actually enjoy sex.
There have been times though when I’ve been on the very last days, thought I’ve finished, then after penetration we’ve realised I haven’t and there is a bit of blood…he’s always so cool about it and has never made me feel bad or anything like that, but for some reason I always feel mortified?
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My boyfriend and I have several communicated ideas (for want of a better term!) about period sex.
1) For me, it’s not any different to sex on a normal day except for the lack of oral sex receiving)
2) I have a shower first and then we put a towel down
3) I probably would never have sex on the first or second day of my period (mostly because I want to curl up into a tight ball and die during that time)
4) He doesn’t like it very much mostly due to THE SMELL (has anybody mentioned the smell yet?)
5) We will only have period sex if I request it AND he’s in the mood OR if he knows I am on my period and his actions have led to arousing me (in which case it is his fault I want sex and thus it is his duty to amend the situation).
I’ve talked to some man-friends about this and they say they hate it! And they all agree it’s because of the blood that inevitably end up all over their tummy or because of the stench!
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Ok I have read the responses and Tracey’s advice to this woman who appears to be tolerating a form of ‘abuse’. Some of which suggests he’s a creep etc…All of which seem fair and rational. However…..last week on MM i contributed to an article re domestic abuse, I said I wish women in abusive relationships should ‘run for the hills’…..for this comment I was slammed, how dare I say something like that, I obviously didn’t understand abusive relationships and finally I was called a troll. But today it’s fine to tell this woman that she’s putting up with crap and should get out…..I don’t get it, is it a different set of readers contributing or have they changed their minds
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Mia- could you do a post about how often people are having sex in general? I know it’s not very exciting but I’d be really interested to know! My husband and I hardly ever have sex…. We both have really low sex drives but I’m starting to get worried that we’re not normal. I’m obviously anon for this one!
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My husband and I hardly ever have sex either. We do love each other greatly, just low sex drives on both our parts.
You’re not the only one.
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Us too. Maybe once every 2-3 months right now. It wasn’t always that way, but we’re both happy as it is.
When we do have sex though, you can be sure that it’s because we both really want to, and not out of a sense of duty. We also are very affectionate the rest of the time, and communication is always strong between us. I’d rather have really good sex only occasionally, rather than frequent sex that’s a bit lacking.
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That’s so great to hear that we’re not the only ones x
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Thanks for bringing this subject up! Like other readers I am horrified at the idea that this woman feels she owes something to her husband in this way. I agree with so many of the other comments.
I am interested to read these responses though, as I have always wondered about how this works in other peoples lives, and wondered if my husbands opinion is the dominant one or not. I actually wouldn’t mind sex at that time of the month (and if it helps with cramping all the better!!) but hubby won’t have a bar of it. He has always felt that it is basically gross.
For my part, while I am wanting it and he is not delivering it, can you guess my answer when he comes looking for some ‘fun’ just for him at that time of the month?? If I can’t have any fun, neither can you buddy!! I can’t believe he is even silly enough to ask!!
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Too messy, too hard basket.My husband isn’t touching during my period no matter how light it is.And i feel genuinely sorry for you.Tell him to go buy a mens magazine and tell him that you will have sex with him, when you bloody well feel like it.
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“you **bloody** well ”
*giggle*
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Suggestion to MM: perhaps put in a ‘click through’ area to the sealed sections, with relevant warnings about explicit content, which readers must pass through to access the content, so that the naysayers can’t complain about said content!!
Me? Bring on more topics, I say!
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My partner used to be grossed out by period sex but when he got a job at the mines that took him away 3 weeks out of four and (just our luck!) my period fell on the one week a month he was home he soon learnt to suck it up!
I feel for this woman, the fact her husband demands sex and says it is her duty in this day and age really concerns me. I can’t imagine ever wanting sex with a man who was demanding it of me, he should feel honored I’d ever make the decision to let him sleep with me in the first place!
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Not sure if ‘suck it up’ was the best choice of words, given the subject!! Lol.
Good on ya though babe, just got to get on with it at times like that!
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Hahaha! It was a bit tongue in cheek when I wrote it, and, lucky for him I’m not nasty enough to mean it literally!
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Hahaha good bird!
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i don’t get it… i’m totally baffled by this conversation… why is period blood an issue? if you don’t feel like it… you don’t feel like it… why is period blood an issue… i don’t get it…
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Having been in same-sex relationships for all of my sexual life, I’m not sure about men in this situation. However, I’ve found that all of the women I’ve dated have been happy to wear a tampon and have sex with it in (although I’m aware that it’s not ‘penetrative sex’, so for some perhaps it’s considered ‘fooling around’).
Hell, with two lots of periods in one relationship, if we didn’t, we’d potentially lose TWO weeks!!
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Feel free to see this question as too invasive and completely ignore it, but…
Surely you end up syncing up? I thought even women working in the same office could all ‘sync up’, due to hormones. I would’ve thought a sexual relationship would make this more likely…?
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You’d think. But I was in a same-sex relationship and I have PCOS so I was on the pill so in three years this never happened.
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Hehe I’m giggling at the idea of this question as ‘too invasive’ after what I just wrote! But thanks for checking
In regards to your question, it’s weird, I have been in two longterm relationships with women and never fully synced up… I suspect that it was a case of having completely different hormone levels/metabolisms/exercise patterns etc (and, in the case of my most recent ex, an eating disorder- but that’s another story!)
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Women don’t sync up.
The study was years ago was flawed.
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My girlfriend starts hers just before mine so we do have that annoying week but we both really like breast play so we often do that. My girlfriend’s sex drive is pretty low anyway. She much prefers cuddling to sex most of the time. One thing that I find slightly frustrating sometimes is that she can only get in the mood for sex if it’s at least 8pm at night. She doesn’t seem to be able to spontaneously want sex, not during daytime at least. It has to be dark in the sky. I wonder if anyone else’s partner is the same?
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This is disturbing. I’m torn between hoping that’s a made up email and being offended that Mamamia might make up something instead of true questions…
To women in any situation like that – you deserve better treatment and respect.
As for period sex (which wasn’t even covered in the article) if both parties are willing then why not?
Love and strength to this woman and any like her – you need all the support you can get <3
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Past boyfriend I did have period sex with but FORGOT I had a tampon in and well you get the point, kinda awkward and hard to get out…
We were both a bit drunk so didn’t notice at the time…
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I have done that too, I was drunk at a party and ended up with a stuck tampon. I had to go to hospital to get it out and I was so drunk I was all emotional and sobbing from the embarassment. So Stupid of me!
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I’ve done this too, but worst was the condom got stuck too!!!! And that is really hard to get out!!
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Hubby isn’t into it he thinks its a turnoff during my period so we never have – unless its at the very very end and almost finished.
Said that, we do still have fun in the bedroom doing other things during that time.. Im very frisky during ovulation (obviously natures way of trying to get pregnant)
Yes your partner should never force you or make you feel guilty or get nasty or any of these things that have been said below, what sort of marriage is that!?
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I’m pretty sure ovulation is mid cycle (ie 2 weeks after your period) so don’t know why there would be any blood/period?
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Actually ovulation is 14 days before your period starts.
If you have a 21 day cycle then you ovulate on day 7.
If you have a 28 day cycle then you ovulate on day 14.
If you have a 35 day cycle then you ovulate on day 21.
Luteral phase is always 14 days, follicular stage varies.
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Before I had my last child, I was ovulating during my period.
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I’d always had a high sex drive and I married someone the same with the same drive. All went well while we were child free.
But when both my children were young infants I just couldn’t handle the constant demands for sex. I’d be exhausted and I’d go to bed and fall into a deep sleep, knowing that I’d have to get up to the children later on in the night, only to be woken up a couple of hours later by my husband demanding sex. He would get very irate and somewhat nasty if I would rebuff him. At the time I was also getting thrush a lot which he accused me of ‘putting on’ because I wanted to get out of sex.
Those were pretty dark days for me, and I would have packed up my children and left but I was so exhausted that it all seemed impossibly hard. It took me going completely bat-shit crazy at him for us to be able to reach a compromise that we would have sex every second day. On the ‘off’ day he wasn’t allowed to touch me or even hint at sex, and in return I’d put in some effort of be enthusiastic on the ‘on’ day.
The situation ruined my joy in sex and my libido never did fully recover from it.
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Are you still married? I feel for you
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Are you still married? I feel for you
Yes I’m still with him. Life as you would have already realise isn’t all cut and dried, there are negative and positives all over the place.
On one hand in my marriage when my children were infants we had the sex issue, on the other hand my husband was a very supportive father.
All he expected of me while he was at work was to look after the children; he would come home from work to a house in chaos. After quickly getting changed he would take over the children so I could cook a meal.
I only used cloth nappies so he would in between looking after the kids get the nappies off the line and the next lot in the machine.
After he came home from work and at the weekends I never used to have to change the kid’s nappies as he did all their care. All I had to do was breast feed them. I had my two kids 14 months apart so for a long time I had two kids in cloth nappies.
After the babies were in bed at night I could go to bed and he cleaned up the kitchen, did all the dishes and made his own lunch for the next work day.
He ironed all his work business shirts and also cleaned the bathroom and toilet when he felt they were getting dirty.
So yeah he was a real arsehole when it came to sex but……
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You poor dear. I sort of know how you feel. I had the joy taken out of it for me too, a long, long time ago. But you weigh the pros and the cons. I get ya.
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Thank you “guest” for understanding
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Yep, what Tracey says. 100%.
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Slightly off topic, but have a lot of you tried anal? I always thought it was a bit of a taboo thing and have never tried it myself, but judging by the comments, it seems a lot of people are into it! Just curious…
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but have a lot of you tried anal?
I actually perfer it to ‘normal’ sex as my orgasms are much more powerful.
for the record…I get quite horny during my period and never say “no” to sex during that time.
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Few things are off topic in a sealed section. Anal was discussed in some detail on mamamia a month or two ago – here’s the link https://www.mamamia.com.au/news/anal-sex-porn-bring-back-the-vagina/
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For those wondering about logistics and the anal thing doesn’t appeal:in the shower together, or you shower and come to bed with a towel down if heavy but just being on the bottom is generally fine. not a great solution on the heaviest day, but doable.
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Or use a diaphragm….
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Reading this made me really sad, what kind of marriage uses the word demand? I know it’s off topic but he sounds horrible.
Back on topic, I’m not a fan and would probably never do it, just a 5 day break a week doesn’t hurt anyone… well except for the 2 days of pain I have haha
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“…sexual duties..” Really?
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Great post. Sadly, too many relationships are still under these so called rules. Sex is somehow considered a wifely duty, regardless if they feel like it or not. Given that it wasn’t until the 1980s that a wife could even CHARGE her husband with rape, this doesn’t surprise me. it’s just sad that some women still feel this way.
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If I only had sex when I felt like it it would only be about 3 times a year, where as hubby is more like 3 times a day. It’s very frustrating, I relent a few times a week but defiantly take the whole week off for periods, 12 months off for pregnancy and childbirth.
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My husband flat out refuses period sex. He thinks it’s gross. I was offended at first, but then I realised that I never want to swallow, so I guess we are even
However, I try and do something “sexual” at least 3-4 times during period week, like anal, masturbating, blow jobs etc. I’m actually rather frisky during my period, and hardly get pains at all, so I don’t mind.
My husband would never force me though, and it worries me that this reader’s husband does.
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The Mamamia sealed section is going off like schoolies on Viagra. This isn’t surprising – women have always wanted to talk about sex in a frank, non-judgemental way.
http://www.zoomtrans.com
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I know this is a like a dinner party conversation but I can’t help myself. Some women drive me crazy.
What kind of a relationship is it when people are forced to have sex. What does it say about the love, the respect, the caring and the intimacy in the relationship. It says that is long gone on one side at least. If someone is so selfish and uncaring, do you really feel valued. This makes me very sad.
As for sex during a period, of course it is fine if you both want it.If one person doesn’t then you don’t. End of!
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bloody hell. pun intended.
reading some of the replies below about partners ‘demanding’ ‘forcing’ ‘wanting’…. it all makes me REALLY appreciate my kind gentle man….
x
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Go Tracey! Well said on all counts. I love that you have started these posts. What you write is always so well-considered, respectful and realistic. Bring on more posts like these I say
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I am shocked and saddened by the use of phrases like “forced to” and “demands”. Sex is something couples have been arguing over forever and it will probably cause tension forever more. However don’t tell me the fight for equality is over when we still have women being ‘forced’ to have sex by their partners in 2012.
In regards to sex during periods, I personally am a fan. I have found it is a great way to relieve bad period pain. And I am yet to find a partner who is not willing to have sex during my period.
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What Rachel said. Both paras.
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Agree. I’ve never had a guy turn me down. I’m in the same boat as all of the other frisky gals. After the first day it’s all go!
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Please salvage the rest of your life and get rid of this clown……You couldn’t possibly love such a creep……..this is not a marriage…., this is slavery,……. this is serious abuse.
When you finally get your life back and shut the door knowing that you won’t have to put up with his demands any more – tell your grown children why, so that they won’t repeat (or endure) this terrible behaviour……….he sounds like a truly unsavoury character with ugly control issues and I just bet that his attitude comes from a cultural / religious origin……..this kind of animal has to be stopped from harming any more women and your brave, courageous divorce should be a loud NO !! to any other man who thinks women must do his “bidding” regardless of her health, her feelings or her right to freedom.
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Post menopause, so not an issue any more, but we always had sex in my periods. Stick an old towel underneath if the bleeding’s heavy, and that deals with the mess factor. I actually found it helped relieve the cramps
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My guy started off accepting ‘I’m on my period’ as a turn down, until one day I mentioned that my concern was that he would be grossed out and about the mess. He said, ‘i don’t mind if you don’t mind’, I said ‘I don’t mind if you don’t mind’. He said ‘i hear it can help with cramps’, and now the joke is ‘do you want an ‘internal massage’? and unless it’s incredibly gruesome, sex happens as usual, maybe not as frequently, while on rag.
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If anyone, ESPECIALLY my husband, ever “demanded” anything from me, I would give them a swift kick in the bollocks.
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My man prefers it, he says excess lubrication is much better..
I don’t like it at all, but I do it anyway because he forces me
Whatever makes him happy make me happy i guess
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“I don’t like it at all, but I do it anyway because he forces me.”
This is terrible. I feel so sorry for you – you should never be forced to do anything with “your man”, ever. I hope you seek some help, or have someone to talk to about this.
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“…he forces me”
Forcing someone to have sex is rape.
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That’s RAPE. Please get help.
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please get as far away from this man as you possible can!
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Run away, far away, as quickly as possible from him.
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There’s something very odd about this comment. It just doesn’t ring true. I’m sorry if it is, I really am, but I’m not convinced.
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I agree.
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Yes, “troll” was the first thought that went through my mind.
This comment sounds a bit too flippant to be genuine.
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There are many comments which reflect the way I feel about the husband in the question above so I’m not even going to go there (plus if I think about him too much, I’ll just swear heaps and get grumpy.)
But as for period sex – Husband won’t approach me at all. At first I thought it was because he was grossed out but he eventually owned up and said the blood doesn’t bother him, but it bothers him that I get really bad period pain and generally feel a bit gross and he doesn’t want to pressure me or make the pain worse. He still (after quite a few years of marriage) refuses to ask for sex during my period.
However, if I’m in the mood for sex during my period, I’ll instigate things and I know he’ll never turn me down because of my period. But usually I feel too revolting so he just brings me panadol, tea and hugs.
[ http://perthwife.wordpress.com/ ]
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Oh my…..I forgot about period sex…I have an IUD which means no period and I joke with my husband that I haven’t had a week off sex for 4years because of it! It might be for a different article but how common is anal sex….I never considered it as an alternative am I missing something?
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Have a go and find out!
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That would be an interesting read. Add it to the list?
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Yes, you are! Give it a try with fingers and some lube first,
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Never ever ever ever. If my partner even suggested it I would go apesh*t.
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You can get a product called TushEze from sexyland which makes it way less painful and really enjoyable. Give it a go-but ease into it with fingers first! You don’t want to go too much too soon and scare yourself off. Good luck! X
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Thanx for that…my husband will go into shock but it may be the event to change things up a bit…..feeling like a naughty school girl.
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I question the “high sex drive” , after many years of discussing things with various people i am often astounded that this means men who have a quickie and really don’t take the time for the woman to enjoy it.
2 minutes compared to 2 hours. It is no big deal for them. Buy him a sex mitt
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I know this guy may be your husband but……..tell this BOZO to rack off! This is a time for your needs not his. If you feel that rejecting his request (or demand) may hurt his feelings or may affect the relationship in a negative way during these times then you need to have a big chat, not just a little one.
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This email is horrifying. A wife is a life partner not a servant, sexual or otherwise.
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Could not agree more with this comment.
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‘my husband still demands sex’ What?! I don’t even know how to comment on that one, so I’ll just leave it alone.
On the major subject at hand here… I hate having sex during my period. Last month we missed out on ‘anniversary sex’ because I had my period and this month he missed out on ‘birthday sex’ for the same reason. Tough breaks, he reckons… but we’ve made up for it in between times!
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when the river runs red, take the back road instead . . .
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Oh gawd, do you mean what I think you mean?
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Dear mama Mia
You have definitely reached an all time low with this article, you must have nothing more to talk about. In the ever present media race to the bottom- congratulations you have won! I’m not a prude or a wowzer but this is a subject that doesn’t warrant a mention. I’m embarrassed to be a reader and on that note I’ll log off and not return.
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I actually love this post and the new sealed sections of mamma, there’s not a great deal of websites I can go to learn and read interesting stuff where people are still respectful in their comments. So you can be disgusted but should know that others really appreciate these articles
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This subject doesn’t warrant a mention? Really?
Her husband still feels like he can control her after nearly 30 years of marriage? He demands sex and she feels uncomfortable with period sex and just asked for advice from the MM community.
I hardly think that’s gutter journalism. Helping another woman and giving advice so she doesn’t feel alone, especially when it comes to sex (which a lot of women don’t discuss with their friends) is not useless at all.
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Clearly it does warrant a mention given all the people commenting.
Adios, amigo.
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I find your narrow-minded response more shocking than the article!
Yes, it’s a delicate subject but I for one am delighted yet again with MM’s forward and honest approach and feel sorry for you that you’ll miss out on further stories that most don’t dare to broach.
Toodles!
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Did you get us confused with Stamp Collectors.com.au?
(I used to collect stamps. I can totally say this).
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Rick, I was just about to suggest she grab a knitting magazine!!
Harsh? Maybe!… My thoughts: if you can dish it, you should be able to receive it.
(PS, she says she’s not coming back here anymore – well, I bet she’s reading all her replies!
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Sex is one of the main recurring topics at our Stitch & Bitch knitting evenings!
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Stitch and bitch? Love it!
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Same with my stitch-n-bitch! Sex, bitching and eating cake. Oh, and wine, don’t forget the wine!
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Isnt it funny. I keep trying to wean myself away from this site (I have other things that I need to do and I need to get a life).
And then I read a fabulous article like this one and I’m back. Horses for courses.
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You don’t think a possibility this subject warrants a mention? A women bring forced to have sex with her husband doesn’t rate a mention? Maybe you’re on the wrong website??.
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You were warned – this is a sealed section. The title should have given you enough of a hint to click through to a story that would not offend you.
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I REALLY hope disgusted is receiving answers on her email, because she needs to see that this post is NOT prurient, but rather helping a woman who probably can’t go anywhere else!
Go, sealed section!!
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This is not a new low – it is 1 woman’s reality and I am glad to be reading so many outraged and supportive comments. This man’s behavour is not ok (husband or not!). I hope she finds the strength and self respect to change this situation. Her body/her choice. Not his! I am glad she asked the question.
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I just wanted to say how much I love this new sealed section.. I look forward to reading these posts on Thursdays. Tracey always come across as very warm and sympathetic to her reader questions.
I’m not a big fan of period sex. Usually I have pretty painful cramps and I wouldn’t want a guy coming near me. But there are those other months where my sex drive peaks around this time and I can be a little more forthcoming, but this should be a woman’s decision if she’s comfortable doing and he doesn’t mind, why not?
But to be forced or demanded into any sexual activity you don’t feel comfortable with- that person simply doesn’t deserve to have you in the first place.
Good communication equals good sex. That is my motto and I think it would help this woman by talking to her husband.
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Week #3 of this sealed section, and week #3 with a ‘bad awful silly men’ angle. Should I be surprised. Yawn.
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They can hardly have a sealed section from a man’s point of view if no men send in a question.
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Why don’t you go back to reading Zoo Mag then, since it’s probably more your cup of tea.
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I agree. Interesting reads but there is a reoccurring theme of “he wants what?” That has a place on occasion, but not every time. I find the topics interesting, but surely there can passionate discussion without the “he said” element. Couple dynamics and power/control are their own articles.
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Wow. I feel for this woman! She sounds incredibly deluded and stuck in an awful marriage! What kind of man DEMANDS sex? And then when she says no insists she give him blowjobs instead ? At a time she is not feeling well! And then tell her she is selfish? Urgh its sickening. I agree with Tracy’s response but I would be encouraging this woman to leave him! How could you be with someone who is so disrespectful and awful!?
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How can you have an “excellent” sex life if one of you feels they can “demand” sex?
What happens if you say “NO”? Is he violent, passive agressive, sulky? I was married for decades to someone like that and let me tell you he won’t change….you have to.
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Oh, same. I used to count the days in my head. I worked out that I could only skip one night max or he’d treat me like a piece of proverbial. When that third night came around it didn’t matter how tired I was I knew I just had to do it and get it over with. In the end I couldn’t even pretend to like him anymore. Soooo glad to be left in peace now.
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I’ve only met two guys who didn’t mind period sex – every other guy almost gags at the thought! I don’t mind not having sex around that time as its a bit gross for me too.
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This might be unfair but I feel like guys who can’t handle it need to grow up. I always think – if you can’t handle a bit of blood now, how are you going to go as a husband when your wife is lactating and recovering from stitches after childbirth? Shit gets a lot grosser than a period!
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I don’t think that’s a fair comment to make. If I were a guy, I wouldn’t enjoy having sex with a woman who is menstruating. I think men can separate the experience of sex from the experience of childbirth.
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Hmm.. would you tell a woman if she doesn’t like to swallow that she should grow up? If men don’t like period sex then that’s their prerogative. Both sexes are entitled to the same respect, I think.
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Good points MD and RR, I stand corrected!
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I must say it’s a nice change to see someone admitting when they’re wrong.
Even if they are under anonymous;)
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Haha I’m a regular commentor but I didn’t want my mean views on period sex linked to my name!
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I refuse to swallow! Should I grow up?
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I think you missed my point. Read again x
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Although I am in complete agreement with Tracy’s response, the headline is completely misleading, something I have found to be on the increase since Mamamia started increasing it’s output. C’mon guys, this isn’t a tabloid magazine, I’m already hooked on this site, why trick your readers???
Now that is out of the way, what I really came to this article for: to all those women comfy with period sex, what are the logistics exactly? Regarding mess, do you guys do it on ur heavy days or just on the bookend days? (I’ve never had period sex except by accident a couple of times!)
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Jo – whenever you feel like it. If it’s heavy, put a towel down or do it in the shower. If it’s light then just go for it!
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tracy, what a wonderful response. i am so glad you are on the mammamia team and would fell confidant asking you any manner of personal questions. i find you are sympathetic and realistic. thank you.
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My wifes attitude is: periods are what anal sex is for.
Her words not mine
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I think my wife is opposed to period sex (never fazed me) and suggested anal as an alternative.
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Btw to clarify – I wasn’t having a go at your wife! Not sure if it sounded like I was. I like her lateral thinking!
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PS. This is a reply to Guest (below) comments are playing up guys
I enjoy period sex from time to time but seriously, some ladies (myself included) have bad cramps and feel sick around this time. With respect, how about making her a cup of tea or buying some chocolate during the months that it’s worse? Anal sex is hardly an alternative when you’re feeling like shit. No pun intended.
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Personally, it doesn’t do it for me or him, but it seems he wants it most when he cant have it, the intensity of our relationship with no result makes me incredibly horny – plenty of head/hand jobs in our house and makes the following week absolutley worth waiting for
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Hahahahaha, best comment ever.
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