Comments on: KATE: Meeting new people. Awesome or awful?

By: Hannah

Hannah — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 01:41:13 +0000

When I was 20, I travelled overseas for the first time by myself to South America. While I had people ask me over and over again “Why are you going by yourself? Wont you be lonely?” I considered what they said, and it was a bit worrying to think I might be stranded on the other side of the world, alone.

However, straight away I made friends. And every time I’ve been overseas by myself since I’ve made friends. Of course some are people that you get along with during your stay, others are friends you keep in touch with, but there are some that stay with you for life (well so far!). I think it’s important that everyone gets out of their comfort zone every now and then and make the effort to get to know others – because while the friends I have now are amazing, that doesn’t mean there isn’t always room for more!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 20:22:32 +0000

Great article Kate. I always enjoy your perspective on life!

I am quite introverted and a huge over thinker. I like making new friends but it can make me really anxious as we move through that awkward (am I being a stalker, is he/she feeling bored) phase of getting to know the other person. I have made a couple of new friends in 2012 and I think the process of getting to know them (a sort of platonic romance) might end up being one of the best parts of the friendships! There’s one new friend in particular who I think is great but I worry that I might be expecting too much from them; that my vision of their greatness actually exaggerates their real greatness (though they are a perfectly nice person). Sounds like I try to make new friends just for the fun of my personal head games! Basket case!!

By: imhere0905

imhere0905 — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 12:50:22 +0000

I know what you mean, I was in Philly for 5 and a bit years, made some good friends and then they started leaving, it was really tough. Now I’ve just left and moved to Singapore. They say they’ll come and visit and I hope they do but not sure when I will get to see them again as they are in the UK and US now with me over here.

I know I need to get out there in Singapore, it’s just tough.

By: HellofromBrisbane

HellofromBrisbane — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 13:12:13 +0000

Hi Kate
Quite a coincidence! Today my husband, little son and I wandered down for the local monthly run and your husband (who I believe was also there for the first time) came up to my husband who he recognized as having worked with well over 10 years ago. What I loved about the run is that although we have lived in the area for 2.5 years, we really don’t know that many people so the Sunday run was part of our NY resolution to get out in the community more. We can be pretty anti-social so it was great to be able to make a connection with a familiar face. The group is a great mix of people and we hope to make it a monthly outing. How lucky are we to live where we do!
Ps- Jim obviously mentioned your name today so as a daily reader it was great for me to be able to make a connection also!!

By: InKL

InKL — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 10:25:59 +0000

Being an expat, the opposite happens in this world. There’s a chance to meet a new friend everyday. Sadly though, sometimes you make really good friends really quickly and then suddenly they have to go. It hits you really hard and you find yourself going through the grieving process.

Last year I lost (they left the country) three really good friends and I was so sad that I couldn’t face meeting anyone new. I keep telling myself that I’ll meet up with them again some day, but it’s tough. It’s now been about 12 months and I’m ready to put myself out there again.

It sounds a bit silly doesn’t it, but when you live away from home these people become your family/best friends/confidant all rolled into one.

By: Petal

Petal — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 10:07:45 +0000

Like you Kate, I HATE meeting new people. I don’t have the energy for small talk and I hardly get to see ‘old’ friends, let alone make time for new ones. I’m not interested in what people did ‘on the weekend’ either so right from a young age I made the kids walk to the school gate so I wouldn’t have to talk to other mums. I love my sister, old friends, mothers group and netball girls. That’s enough for me.

By: Alice

Alice — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 09:37:19 +0000

I agree entirely! I work really hard and have my little family and a few best friends so I rarely can be bothered meeting new ppl. I don’t feel the need to have a large circle of superficial weak friendships just so I can appear popular to others! This week I ventured out to meet new people on two occasions (friends of friends) and was bitterly dissapointed & resentful of wasting an evening!

By: Carlie

Carlie — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 06:20:01 +0000

I’ve made a strong circle of friends all around the country and the world through twitter in the past 2 years. One of my best friends I actually met striking up conversation whilst waiting for the Wicked cast to emerge from the Stage Door after the show in Perth, August 2011.
She found me on twitter the day after, we began talking a lot and we even went on holiday together to Singapore last year (to see Wicked again)!
You find friends in the funniest places!

By: Daisy

Daisy — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 04:43:05 +0000

Really? I would have thought that would lead to more conversation. Maybe those people aren’t the ones you could become good friends with anyway.

By: Ozlicious

Ozlicious — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 04:30:11 +0000

I love meeting new people but I do find that a lot of adults are firmly in their rut and not really interested. I’ve had to do a lot of short courses and workshops in the last few years due to work, and every time I do one I think “my newest friend could be there today!”. Lame, I know, but that’s how I approach it. But when you suggest getting a drink or coffee, people almost look at you like you’re a bit weird. At first I thought “am I putting out gay vibes?” (haha). But I’m sure it’s not that. I think it’s just that people are so busy with their own lives, that getting out and making new friends is the LAST thing they have the time and inclination for.