Comments on: You think your problems will be over when you find “The One.” Wrong.

By: Vivica

Vivica — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 17:28:00 +0000

This is exactly why I plan to stay single. Life should be enjoyed, not “survived” or “endured”. After working a 9 to 5 and dealing with the stress and toil of the world, who in the world wants to come home to “hard work”? I’ve always thought that yes, there would be not-so-great days. That’s natural. But after reading article after article chronicling all the negativity, I’m starting to believe that in marriage, there are a lot more not-so-great days than good ones. So what’s the point? People say “Oh well it’s great to have someone to go to when you’re down”. But if your dealings with that person are generally the reason for your being down, doesn’t that defeat the purpose? I must say, that as a 20 year old who once had every intention of marrying someday, I am extremely disappointed by the reality of what marriage is. I would much rather die alone and happy than to live my life perpetually stressed and frustrated trying to “endure” and “perservere” with someone else.

By: anon

anon — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 07:32:18 +0000

same problem with us

By: Layla

Layla — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 12:13:11 +0000

Be great if someone could write a blog post on passive aggressive communication and how destructive it is to relationships. This style of shut down communication might not result in a break up but it sure won’t help lessen the work load of a marriage. Just makes it even harder and that much more exhausting…

By: gail

gail — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:55:13 +0000

marriage is only hard work because husbands are involved.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 00:55:59 +0000

I completely agree – I’ve never heard a single person say that marriage must be easy. We don’t really ‘need to know’ that it’s difficult. No need to apologise for assuming we think marriage is like losing weight. But thanks for trying to help us out.

By: Ladybug

Ladybug — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 11:13:45 +0000

This sounds familiar….you deserve better! Not sure if you have kids but really consider your future together before you have children. I ended up splitting with a 5yo and 2yo and while I believe I made the right decision it is so much harder with kids involved.

By: Ladybug

Ladybug — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 11:00:15 +0000

My ex threatened to leave half a dozen times. Along with everything else that was dysfunctional in our relationship, the last time he threatened to leave and slept in the spare room was the last time. I called him on it.

By: Pinto

Pinto — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:26:57 +0000

How utterly crap!

Tough times ahead katiegirl and I wish you all the support you need around you to make the hard choices that go with this situation.

By: sophie

sophie — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:16:38 +0000

Sound advice.

By: Mich

Mich — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 09:13:43 +0000

Yes Jo. You have nailed it. It is damn hard work. I am still riding the bloody roller coaster, and some days I just think “How is this my life and how is this guy my chosen partner?” Other days I think…”Yes, we are so in synch, and thank God I never left, despite the many fantasies of doing so.”

EVERY DAY though, I just thank God (or whoever;)) for my fabulous girlfriends that give me so much more emotionally, as a group, than he ever could! After all, he’s just a man!

Hang in there honey, and if not, I reckon you could charter a bus full of us who will be ready to hit the road with ya! Xx