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By ALANA SCHETZER
I’m un-friending people on Facebook.
And here’s why.
If you’re on Facebook, then chances are you have more Facebook ‘friends’ than actual friends – you know, ‘actual friends’, those people you see in the flesh and whose last name you know.
The people on your Facebook list can include family, old school friends, colleagues, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, your friend’s friend, that guy you met on your last Contiki tour and Julie, who you met in a spinning class and keep meaning to catch up for coffee with but never manage to.
Therefore, there’s often a lot of culling of people who aren’t actually your friends. After all, considering all the private and potentially embarrassing information you share in cyber space, you want to make sure only people you actually like and care about are privy to it.
But how do you know who to cut and who to spare? I reckon I can help you with that…
1. The casual racist/sexist.
It’s amazing how you can think you know someone… then they upload a post that comes straight out of 1952. Progress has skipped these Facebookers and they have no idea – or at least, no shame – about it. It can come as a huge shock when Joe, the guy you sat next to at work for two years, writes “Google is obviously a girl because it won’t let you finish a sentence without suggesting something else!” LOL! That’s almost as funny as the friend who suggests Prime Minister Julia Gillard would be more popular if she dressed better to hide her behind. Oh, wait, that was Germaine Greer. Oh well, delete her too.
2. The obsessive poster.
These virtual stalkers don’t target any one person, just their internet connection; they never let an opportunity to share a thought with the world. I used to be Facebook friends with a girl who would – and I suspect continues – to post up to a dozen posts a day. A day. Everything from posts of her food, moods, latest celebrity crush and pictures of ‘inspirational’ quotes would clog up my news feed everyday.What’s to actually talk about when we actually catch up? The answer is ‘nothing’.
Another regular offender is the new mother/father. Posts of new babies and big milestones are one of my favourites. But no one, spare grandparents, wants a twice-daily update on junior’s adventure in babyhood. Especially their bowel movements. Same goes for diet enthusiasts. Have you cut gluten out of your diet? Eating only organic? Cut out red coloured foods? Great. Just don’t tell me about it everyday. Or worst, post pictures of what you’ve just cooked.
3. The drama queen/king.
For the passive-aggressive attention seeker, Facebook is the best invention ever – you don’t need to be anywhere near a person to complain. For friends of the passive-aggressive attention seeker, Facebook is the worst invention because you can now cop their whinging 24/7.
The PAAS uses Facebook to make vague statements to fish to compliments and questions from their Facebook friends. Examples include, but are not limited to: “I hate myself”, “Sometimes I wonder if anyone likes me?” and “I need to be alone. Do NOT talk 2 me OK!” These Facebookers are soul-destroying, exhausting and more high-maintenance than a bonsai plant. But before you unfriend then, it’s probably best to send them a message kindly suggesting they do some work on their self-esteem.
4. Can’t spell.
Every time a person gets “your” confused with “you’re”, an English language fairy dies.
5. Bad Taste.
Every time a Facebooker ‘likes’ something, it comes up on all their friend’s timeline. And it can be very revealing what some people like. Anyone who ‘likes’ Nickleback, Tiger Woods, Jersey Shores, Tori Spelling, Two and a Half Men, fashion brand Ed Hardy or Sam Newman should be immediately deleted and without guilt.
Alana Schetzer is a Melbourne-based journalist and writer. You can follow her on twitter here.
Do you have friends on Facebook who fit into any of these categories? Have you ever ‘culled’ your Facebook friends? Are there any categories missing from this list?
Comments
390 Comments so far
I agree with this 100%, but what’s wrong with Two and a half men?!
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An ex had friended me on Facebook. I saw him, his wife and child at a shopping centre soon after. I was going over to say “hi” when he spotted me (eye contact!) and purposely looked and walked the other day. He’s no longer a facebook “friend”.
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I can’t stand when people whinge about what other’s posts on their facebook. Everyone knows you can just hide people’s posts or delete them if you don’t like it. Get over it!
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Five years on Facebook. A tale of love and hate. http://alisontennentdennehy.weebly.com/1/post/2012/10/five-years-on-facebook-a-tale-of-love-and-hate.html
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I have found myself ‘hiding’ statuses and defriending the constant braggers. People who must updates about their cocktails in Bora Bora or how making statements targeted at their wife/husband/ child/partner about how amazing they are. Tell them in person not on Facebook. I just read someone wishing their child a happy 1st birthday. Seriously, can a 1 yr old access Facebook and read their mother’s msg.
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I have a couple of friends who find the need to comment on everything I say or post or pictures and they aren’t ones where you want to reply too because they are either memes from 9gags or just stupid comments. And I’m like don’t you ever have work to do? It’s crazy. I hate it. I wish I could “unfriend” these people in real life.
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Ha! A variation on the drama queen/king- the passive aggressive “you know who you are” dig. It goes like this- “recently I’ve learned that SOME people JUST AREN’T WORTH my valuable time.”… or something like that.
Also, as a uni student, I see a lot of hyper-intellectual updates. Like an extensive quote from Proust that is long and boring and means nothing to someone who hasn’t recently studied him!
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Ooh! And the minor medical ailments updater! Someone who regularly posts things like… “Yesterday I did something wrong chewing and today my jaw is all stiff.”
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Sometimes I wish some people would unfriend me, this way I don’t offend them and I can post what I want to those who really care.
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Some people simply cannot spell. I worked in Learning Support for 5 years and can tell you categorically that no matter how hard they try, no matter what support they receive, a small percentage will simply always be poor at spelling. One of my FB friends is a Professor of Music, highly intelligent, and makes common spelling mistakes, such as the one you mentioned in this article, almost every time she posts on FB. Poor spelling is not, necessarily related to laziness or IQ. Whilst I would agree that those who are poor at spelling should use spell check etc in a public forum, how disappointing that they cannot even chat, informally, to their so-called friends without being judged. In this case, please do defriend, you will be doing the person a great favour, and it will be your loss, not theirs.
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LOVE. THIS.
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The funniest facebook friend request I ever got was from my husbands (not friendly and extrememely unpleasant) ex-wife’s dog (the ex is unpleasant not the dog – he’s lovely!). Yes, the dog has a FB page and actually I’m okay with that but did she think I wouldn’t get that it was her? All of my girlfriends and I are still laughing so hard about that.
And no, I didn’t accept.
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Heya i’m for the primary time here. I came across this board and I to find It really helpful & it helped me out much. I hope to offer one thing again and aid others like you aided me.
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Hmm well not so sure I agree with this one! I think fb is a great way to keep in touch with those who have moved a distance away, to see what is going on in their lives and their achievements. So what if they have typos or grammatical errors or mabe voice their feelings and you know all is not going well in their world, it might just prompt you to pick up the phone and reconnect. If we unfriended everyone who was different to us, or slightly over the top or annoying……well there wouldn’t be too many friends left would there.
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So much nastiness and hating on this post. I wouldnt want to be FB friends with any of you people!
Why do you love to hate and make fun of peole, roll your eyes at people you call friends? If someones updates and photos annoy you delete them as a friend or block their feed.
Don’t derive pleasure from bagging them out. I’ll say it again, I wouldn’t want to be FB friends with any of you.
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“Why do you love to hate and make fun of peole, roll your eyes at people you call friends? If someones updates and photos annoy you delete them as a friend or block their feed.”
This post was about who you are unfriending and blocking from your feed… and it was light-hearted. I certainly don’t “love to hate” anyone.
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I think it is important for everyone to remember that anything they publish on Facebook is being judged by other people. That is certainly something I will remind my children of when they are old enough to join Facebook.
I’m sure that most people accept their ‘real’ friends for who they are and do not love to hate them or ridicule them. I hope so.
But I think it is clear from the article and comments that a lot of the time a large number of people’s Facebook friends are more like acquaintances. I think that the more friends that people have on Facebook, the less likely it is that they are friends in the ‘traditional’ sense with all of them.
I have only listed family and friends that are like family to me (my chosen family) and yes I am not going to lie there is one family member that occasionally posts annoying status updates. But I would never unfriend them. Besides I’m sure that some of my posts annoy them too.
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I recently purged a lot of ‘friends’ from my Facebook. I know have 54. Still too many but some are more professional connections.
I’d love to defriend my sister – she suffers from all of the above mentioned issues!
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What can i say….facebook.I did have profile a few years back too,but i deleted myself before it wrecked too many good memories i had of people from my childhood years,and just in time before i started thinking of (even some previously close) friends as self-absorbed pricks….Let’s just say i’m not a fan of facebook and what it does to people.
But then again,i can’t say i feel much better when i come to Mamamia,read an interesting article,try to comment,only to learn i won’t be able to because the author of the article has been torn to shreds by 450 other commenters,just for having a different opinion.
What a sad state we are in…
James,i agree with everything you said,i can’t understand it either why people have children when they don’t actually want to look after them…it makes no sense to me at all.
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It’s Jersey Shore, not Jersey Shores.
=)
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Seriously love this post! Hate the motivational posts “don’t live your life in a rear vision mirror, look forward!”, vaguebooking, jogging counter posts, parents talking to their children, ‘I’m at a FABULOUS party and you’re not! ” posts etc. Why am I still on it? Oh yeah, I’m nosey!
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Word. Especially for new parents. I’m in the age group where high school friends are starting to have kids. My policy is to defriend as soon as they talk about their glorious child’s poop and how said poop has somehow made their child superior to all other children.
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Someone today wrote something about the Italy beating Germany Euro 2012 that went something like, “Yeaah go italy! Beat those Nazi pricks!” and that’s not even the worst of some of his updates. But he’s this good-looking charmer and all his friends think he’s the bees knees. So no-one pulls him up on it.
I reported his status to Facebook and defriended him.
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I unfriended an old acquaintance after he started beating me up over a status where my daughter had asked what colour God’s skin was. I thought it was a very clever question, hence posting it, but he was beating up for “forcing my kids to believe in God” which he doesn’t. I told him it was fine not to believe in God, but fine also to believe. He was quite aggressive. I removed him from my friends list pretty quick. Also, I have a good personal friend who posts a lot of crap. She posts about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. Photos of food, articles on EVERY TOPIC YOU CAN THINK OF, as well as several updates a day. I do think she’s slightly addicted but I love her, and won’t remove her. I do cull people who are not “real” friends from time to time though. Some have stopped talking to me since being defriended, but for me it’s about wanting to make FB a little more private. Funny article tho.
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I thought of this article last night when I saw a (NOT close) friend post a status about paedophiles saying “Arrgh just shocking and disgusting! Maybe if we just let gay men be gay, they wouldn’t have the self hatred that drives them to do this”. Cue an onslaught of livid responses and probably a few defriendings!
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Just curious. Would you un-friend someone like Andy Sparks?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiceNbWnLyo
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I wouldn’t. It didn’t seem annoying or terribly self indulgent. Sure, most the things were about other people (wife, daughter etc), but didn’t seem over the top to me. Having said that, in real life he might be a total idiot, I might unfriend him over THAT!
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Agreed. I was thinking much the same.
I’m in two minds about Facebook.
I was just thinking that before Facebook friends used to drift apart naturally either during and after school, university or when they left jobs. These days you un-friend people on Facebook. Kind of sad really.
I guess it’s nice that my generation has been able to re-connect with old school friends. But then again, sometimes I think that catching up at a school re-union once every 10 years is more than enough.
I have noticed that some people are friends with every single person that they have ever met in their entire life including people that they were never really all that friendly with and ex-boyfriends. Perhaps in an attempt to appear popular, I don’t know. Sometimes I think that this is the reason for a lot of the self-indulgent and ‘look-at-me’ posts on Facebook. Whatever the reason, it can be annoying.
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I’m someone who accepts a friend request from anyone I’ve met and would recognise on the street. It’s not about attention, it’s about knowing that even those tiny connections could come in handy further down the track. You lose nothing by having them as friend on Facebook but if in future you need a house designed and you know that woman you met at your ex-boyfriend’s party was a great architect then you can still get in touch and ask her advice. If you manage your privacy and take advantage of the ability to group and categorise ‘friends’ then it’s super easy to add everyone and still maintain your private posts for close friends.
As a side note, my photographer friend has gotten work thanks to acquaintances of mine seeing her photos of me on Facebook, as has my singing teacher after I posted about her. These were people I hadn’t spoken to in over a year but they found someone for a service they needed thanks to their connection to me, and my closer friends (the photographer and the singing teacher) were both then able to get extra business. No down side that I can see!
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Thanks AJM, you sound lovely. Facebook is a great tool for people who are using it in the way that you have described.
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I recently had a massive Facebook friends cull. I had about 200 friends and am now down to 15 and would have less if I didn’t feel bad deleting my boyfriend’s family.
I only use Facebook for the chat feature anyway.
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facebook is about sharing and connecting with people and their everyday lives- if you don’t like what someone is constantly saying- just block or delete them- Simple. @ Flowers- Love your comment.
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There are so many different opinions about what is the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to use Facebook. Live and let live, I say.
Facebook is designed so that it’s flexible and so that you can craft it to be what you want it to be. If you don’t like what someone posts, you’re able to hide their updates without de-friending them. You can also select how much of someone’s posts you want to see by visiting their profile and selecting “All updates” or “Only important updates” etc.
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All I have on FB is stuff about my kids or pics of my kids
Occasionally my husband gets a mention lol. I make no apologies! I think when all you are surrounded by on a daily basis is a toddler and a newborn, you don’t have much else to talk about really lol.
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I posted a similar comment on a similar Mamamia article just a few short months ago. And here we are again.
I know this article is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but wow, there’s a lot of super judgemental people out there critiquing each and every Facebook “type”, and no doubt feeling superior because they are so much more interesting/aloof/intelligent then their Facebook “friends”.
Personally, I use my Facebook page as my own little piece of online space. I don’t blog, tweet or use any other social media, but I do love Facebook for the very reason that it helps me keep in touch with family & friends (my nearest relative lives nearly 4000km away). The way I see it, it’s my page, my profile, and my choice to post whatever & whenever I choose.
Don’t want to see it? Fine with me. Feel free to block or unfriend at will.
Facebook has been a lifeline for me, a SAHM whose partner is often away working for long periods of time. Feelings of isolations, loneliness & homesickness are never far away but it is wonderful to be able to jump online & see & talk to my dearest friends, swap parenting stories (the good, the bad & the ugly) and yes, upload the dreaded baby photos of my kids to show them to my extended family, some of whom we haven’t seen in person for a number of years. It has also helped me connect with new friends & is a great source of information on ways to get out & about and meet new people too – in the real world
So, next time you are feeling smug & superior to we poor Facebook fools who actually admit to loving our daily Facebook time, perhaps you could stop & think about what a support it can actually be. Who knows, you may actually find your friendships are enhanced because of it…
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What about those who constantly share some links/music/random pictures/etc! Anoying
And the ones that play games and you see their score, who cares.
This post made me just think whether I should quit FB…
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Yeah YOU don’t know how to use FB properly
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It’s all too true however it strikes me that a lot of these comments are from people who are “faux friends”. If you’re annoyed by people posting pics of their new baby/puppy, announcing their great new job or sharing their holiday snaps…… then you are not a real friend. If you can’t feel some level of happiness for others when they post about what a great day they had…….then you are not a real friend.
If all you feel is a gut churning passive/aggressive response to every thing a particular person has the temerity to post on their own facebook……you are not a real friend.
Hopefully the merry poster will realise this in due time and delete you.
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I had a fb friend once who claimed Western Australia was about to be hit by a giant tsunami and only our faith in God would save us. I unfriended her after that one.
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Newly engaged/weds = THE WORST…
“45,438,584 sleeps until i marry my best friend! Love you Bill, thank you for making my life complete XXXX”
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Favourite comment on this thread, definitely.
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Clicktivists. Liking a picture or signing a petition will not save a child (or refugees or oppressed women or…) and substituting a piece of fruit for your relationship status will not raise breast cancer awareness. Actual money and actual action will.
Equally, militant atheists and militant Christians (probably other religions too I just don’t have any in my feed). We get it. Really. There’s no need to repeatedly smash us with atheist memes or ACL petitions.
People who don’t understand how spam works and then get surprised when ‘OMG spider under her skin gross!’ shows up in their news feed.
People who have children and then never post about anything else other than their kids and parenting ever again.
And no, I don’t want to help you afford a cow on your farm.
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My least favorite are the attention seeking posts like ‘it has finally happened’ or some quote about angst etc targeted purely to get lots of comments like ‘is everything ok?’, ‘what has happened?’
Just bloody state your purpose and message people!!
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Yes! And then they don’t write anything on the status so everyone is left guessing that it’s a big magical event when really it’s just the shop ran out of milk.
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A girl I went to school with (who isn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch), posted yesterday, after I read this post, a picture of a Muslim woman and child covered head to toe in the burqa, standing next to two black garbage bags.
It had a caption with something like “When I complimented on her three children, I was lucky she didn’t blow me up”. OH MY GOD.
So this morning, I couldn’t help myself and posted a passive aggressive status about how much I hate racist comments on facebook pretending to be a joke. Am I being one of those annoying FB posters? Yes, probably, but she is so stupid she won’t realise.
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I had a similar one where a friend of my ex-housemate (who used to come over regularly, hence the friending) posted “I’m not racist, but all I’m saying is that people of *this particular ethnicity* just don’t fit into Australian culture because they are CHEATS”. I politely (seriously) pointed out that the statement actually is racist, whether he intends it to be or not. He said that I didn’t know the situation, that his opposing team in indoor football had cheated and been violent and so it makes him question whether they should be in Australia because that’s not our culture etc. etc. and I pointed out how it was still racist and so on, until HE defriended ME with a huge ranting message about how I’m just trying to cause conflict and how he’s sick of my “anti-male” posts. (I quite literally have never posted anything ‘anti-male’ and multiple male friends of mine frequently ‘like’ anything I post that has a feminist slant on it)
So the way I saw it, that was good riddance!
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Exactly why I am not and forever refuse to be on FaceBook. I have real friends, we have real face-to-face conversations, we make an effort to catch up and keep in touch. I don’t have to ‘like’ anything or anyone and be judged by others. And I have what is seemingly a rare commodity these days – privacy.
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Yay Hellburger
I thought I was the only person left not on Facebook. I would prefer to sit down face to face over a meal or a coffee and chat!!
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That’s fine if all your friends live in one place and not all around the country, or world
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I think the holier than thou attitude is a bit much – you don’t have better friendships just because you’re not on facebook. I have real, close friends too and we catch up face to face all the time. But for my friends traveling OS it’s a brilliant way to keep up to date with their life and how they’re going. You’re totally entitled to your opinion but I think the assumption that friendships are stronger if FB isn’t involved is inaccurate. People used to think the same thing about text messaging – that it was inpersonal and damaging – whereas I would argue it’s the opposite.
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It’s not a holier than thou attitude, it’s a preference.
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Hey Anonymous, didn’t mean to come off as ‘holier than thou’, just not my cup of tea. I do agree, however, that it’s an excellent way to keep in touch with overseas and travelling friends, and that would be my only reason for considering joining up. However, the ones I do have in those circumstances understand my reservations and don’t mind a copy/paste into an email to me and Skype-ing ocassionally for a good chat. Oh, and I LOVE a postcard, even if it arrives after the friend has returned home!
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Thanks for the reply. And I definitely agree with you about the privacy factor – that is a real concern!
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Very funny post!
Some others:
- The people who write like this: “Totes amaaaaze! SQUEEEEEE!”
- People who check in to the gym. Dude, we will ALL know when you stop going now. And how about get off your phone and do some work while you’re there?
- People who face-stalk. Never actually write anything or contribute anything, but know what’s going on with EVERYONE. And they are usually the first people to criticise what other people write (not on Facebook though – usually to their other face-stalker mates in person).
- People who like their own posts.
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I have a few young friends, and it wouldn’t worry me if they wrote “Amaaaze” because that makes sense. It’s when they write “I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee my boi” or to use your example, “Amazeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” read it out loud, girl! And it is only girls that do it too.
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I automatically un-friend anyone who uses the phrase ‘Totes amazeballs’ to describe anything. ANYTHING!
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even zoe foster? :0
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She’s not one of my Facebook friends so that particular conundrum has not yet arisen!!
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Facebook makes me both uncomfortable and a little sad.
I see lots of posts from people with hundreds of friends latently bragging about how amazing their lives are: shots of them in Bali/New York, completing half marathons/triathlons for notable causes and commenting upon the glorious weather/jobs/partners/travels/children they enjoy.
Where is the humility? The post about being overlooked for a promotion or feeling sad or lost or scared. The recognition that having only two good friends who would do anything for you is better than 137 FB friends.
My take is that Facebook obviously works for lots of people. However, to me it’s more than a little gauche and insensitive.
Always leaves me feeling alone – takes me back to my bitchy first high school where only the popular and bitchy had a voice – one which no one really was interested in hearing save for themselves…
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“The post about being overlooked for a promotion or feeling sad or lost or scared.”
Because when people post that then they’re categorised as attention seekers! And if they post both positive and negative then they’re “oversharing”.
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This week we had the uncomfortable and shocking situation of a friend/neighbour’s death at age 18 being announced and written about on facebook before family had been notified and no-one knowing how it had happened.
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I love Facebook, particularly as I live overseas and it keeps me connected with minimum fuss. I love all types of posters, particularly the crazed ones. The boyfriend of an ex-colleague starts “I’m not racist but…” and I’m always intrigued by how atrociously racist he really is. And then reading all his racist mates’ comments. It’s like watching a car crash. I can’t turn away. It makes me never want to see him in person again as I may punch him. But on Facebook I can’t get enough. It’s like seeing a rare animal in the wild.
But my hands-down least favourite type of Facebooker is “Jane Smith has posted 179 photos to the album ‘First day of holiday in Europe’”. And then proceeds to post 184 photos for day 2, day 3, day 4, etc. In real time. And it’s a four-month trip! Seriously, are you on holiday? Or are you on Facebook? What’s wrong with taking your four-month trip and when you return, posting a 30-page edited album of the highlights?!
All that said, I can’t get enough baby pictures. Post away new mamas.
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On another note related to FB have people noticed that facebook has now changed your email address to ‘yourname’@facebook.com?
I just realised this the other day and changed it back to my @gmail.com account.
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I saw that too Cinnamon!
I’m subscribed to SOPHOS on Facebook, which are all about Internet security, and they actually had a post a couple of days ago relating to the change in our default emails. It also explained how to go about changing it back.
Shifty shifty Facebook!
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Can you please share with us how to change it?
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Sure thing Anonymous. Here’s a link of how to go about changing it back:
http://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2012/06/26/facebook-user-default-email-address/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=status+message&utm_campaign=naked+security
Short version of the article:
1. Go to the ‘About’ section, then to ‘Contact Info’ and click ‘Edit’ (or for a timeline profile, click on the ‘Update Info’ button under your cover photo on your profile page)
2. You can change the visibility of your original email address as well as the new Facebook one. Be sure to hit ‘Save’ when you’re done!
Remember, the new Facebook emails are simply your username@facebook.com. Also, the default setting for who can send you Facebook messages using this email address is set to ‘Everyone’ which means EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET (unless your privacy settings have changed). To fix this ridiculousness:
1. Choose ‘Privacy Settings’ from the top right hand corner of your Facebook homepage
2. Go to ‘How You Connect’ and click on ‘Edit Settings’
3. Where it says ‘Who can send you Facebook messages’ change it from ‘Everyone’ to ‘Friends’ or ‘Friends of Friends’ and hit ‘Done’
PHEW!!! Just when you think you’re au fait on all the security settings, they slip another one in. Worth subscribing to SOPHOS if only for their Facebook updates (they do all kinda techie sh*t too)
Hope this helps (and wasn’t TOO wordy)
shelibeans x
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Great tips Shelibeans! Thanks.
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Anonymous, I dead-set just spent 15 minutes replying to you and have NFI where the post has gone :S
Here’s the link (only coz it’s waaaay past my bedtime):
http://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2012/06/26/facebook-user-default-email-address/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=status+message&utm_campaign=naked+security
Hope that helps! xx
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Just read this post and had a good laugh! I went through a major cull on facebook after having first joined it and succumbing to the whole ‘add every single person you ever met in your life but haven’t seen/spoken to in 10 years’. So right now I pretty much have family and friends, people I know I would talk to if I saw them in real life. But I have one friend who insists on constantly putting up photos of her son, and on top of that every month (he is now 10 months old) she puts up a photo of him with a caption next to him like ‘I am 1 month old’, ‘I am 2 months old’ etc etc…. most recent being 10 months old. I know I shouldn’t complain it’s her first born but really can’t you just do the 1 year….
Then there’s another girl who is either writing about her son, what he did that day, her pregnancy (she’s having another kid) or uploading some quote about children or parenting.
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I seriously just deleted someone on facebook who made their profile pic that awful clown ‘It’ Am going to have nightmares for weeks thanks to them!
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The fb friends who boast about their children’s achievements…Congratulations Poppy on your wonderful results in Naplan, ballet, piano exam, first in swimming carnival… We’re so proud of you! Pleeeeaaase!
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A while back I did a massive cull and went from 270 or so friends to 27. It was awesome. Recently though it’s crept back up over 60 and it’s starting to get too much again.
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This is interesting because lately I feel like I’m the person people are un-friending! Generally my posts are links to articles on subjects I find interesting, for example the High Court decision on chaplains, asylum seekers, animal welfare, scientific discoveries, marriage equality, extreme religious issues such as creationism being taught in some US schools etc. and people seem to really hate it! It’s like everyone on Facebook has to be a zombie with no interests in anything important. I feel really afraid to be myself because every time I post something interesting I get blasted by one person or another. I’m so sorry for not making completely banal posts about my day!
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I would love to be your friend, these are some of the things that I post about too, I figure my real friends know this is the real me & most are passionate people too, any ‘friends’ who don’t like it are probably people who I don’t have much in common with anyway.
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Thanks Bec. You’re right, my real friends know the real me, I should probably care less about what other FB ‘friends’ think.
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Two types of people have strangled Facebook:
1. The too-cool: these people believe it is uncool to like FB or use it, you are only allowed to use it very selectively, with carefully chosen sentences seemingly off the cuff loaded once a week. And only then because you were ‘bored waiting for the bus and doing a once a month FB check’. The occasional ‘un posed’ casual photo. Double points if you can claim it was uploaded and tagged by someone else, because of course, you ‘never’ use FB.
2. The policers: These people are the real FB killers. They are on all the time and policing and complaining about how others use it. They have absorbed all those trend pieces about etiquette.
They don’t really care how you use it, they just love to see someone using it ‘wrong’. They seize on every passive aggressive missive, or baby photo, or link. These people think Facebook is an extension of the phone – according to them you are only allowed to use it to communicate directly with someone when you have a point.
These people really have killed the untamed and uncensored nature of Fbook, don’t feel bad about being unfriended. If you want uncensored and free give Twitter a go. Chaos still rules there.
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you’re the sort of person I like have as a friend on FB!
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Youre not alone, I post links to sites or news items of interest on my wall. It’s a great way to share some thought provoking ideas with like minded fb friends….and maybe give others some food for thought!
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Mmmm, great topic. Some ‘real’ friends and I were recently lamenting the postings of a mutual friend who was recently featured on a reality show. We were bombarded with updates on each and every media mention, when it was coming up – counting down from the day before, 4 hours before, an hour before and then, if you missed any of these cues, the link to view it.
If that was not tiresome enough, there is the new business to promoted out of the attention and the thrice daily updates from ‘the team’, when most people know it was just her, working from home.
I didn’t want to be the person who gets the shits but says nothing, so I suggested that maybe she should get a business page so as to separate herself from the promotion of her business. She has done this, but now we get bombarded with the business page updates because she has tagged herself in each pic she posts.
What to do? Maybe wait until the light has dimmed on the tv career……or change some privacy settings. Now that’s an idea.
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The Block??
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I hate comments that state “I have the best husband/son/mother etc”. Please show me the research you performed to come to this conclusion. Especially hate it when I know the so-called “best” is far from it.
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I start culling friends whenever I accumulate over 100 fb friends.
I just start feeling uncomfortable with more than 100.
Does anyone else reach a certain number and then start culling?
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I don’t really have a number limit, just every now and then I cull people who I’ve had no other form of contact with because I figure they’re not really in my life.
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20 is the limit of real friends!
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number
.
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http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck
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Hilarious (love the special ops bunny)
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I un-friend anyone who’s not really a friend, family member or colleague.
But I’d love to un-friend a few people I can’t un-friend. Ironically, the first two consider themselves ‘social media experts’.
THE PHONEY FACEBOOKER
This person has, clearly, made a strategic decision only to post positive, upbeat and inspirational stuff – and, as a result, comes across as a complete phoney. She is also guilty of gushing about her ‘team’ (ie. kissing their asses so they’ll work ridiculously hard for her), brags about ‘exciting projects’ but never tells us what they are and boasts about how many days per month she spends away from the office jetting about the country and the world. She’s actually a nice girl and successful businesswoman, but she’d be one of the last people I’d turn to as a social media role model, although she touts herself as one.
THE TOO-MUCH-INFO FACEBOOKER
This one is also supposed to be a smart businesswoman, but she’s recently become a mum and it’s non-stop with the baby updates, baby pictures, baby videos… as though she’s the first person on Earth to ever have a baby. Also, she rants about personal stuff she ought to keep to herself. Sadly, I had a lot more respect for her before we became Facebook friends.
THE FACEBOOK GAMER
I don’t do anything on Facebook other than connect with friends. I don’t play any of the games. Anyone who sends me a gaming requests gets ignored. It’s not personal. I just can’t be bothered.
THE DUMB-AS-DOGSHIT FACEBOOKER
I’m friendly with various teenagers who, sadly, come across as complete deadbeats on Facebook. I overlook it. In some cases, it’s not their fault. They missed out on a good education. I try to be supportive. I disregard their dumb statues. I like and comment on the intelligent ones. Sometimes, I offer friendly advice.
THE POP CULTURE FACEBOOKER
I have one or two Facebook friends who post a LOT of pop culture stuff. It doesn’t bother me – actually, I think it’s pretty cool – but I just can’t take in most of it.
With all of the above, I skim over their updates. I enjoy their company face-to-face. But on Facebook? Not so much.
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i don’t play ANY of the games either and NEVER reply to people that send me requests… and the worst thing is when the person that sent the request that got ignored does not get it and keeps resending it…
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