Mamamia Team Sunday 23 September 2012 8:12am

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If you’ve ever found yourself in a bit of a rut – a sexual rut, that is – our latest erotic fiction competition finalist will resonate with you.

Four friends. Lots of wine. And one agreement that’s about to make things very, very interesting.

Have a read of “The Sexy Bucket List” by Holly Green.

Shower sex – on your bucket list?

The table was littered with empty wine bottles. Half-drunk champagne flutes were left scattered around the dining room. The elegant dinner party which had been flowing with discussions about politics, religion and current events, had been abandoned. The women who arrived in pristine condition were now sprawled on the back patio, replacing vino with margaritas, and polite conversation with scandalous and salacious gossip. It was their routine. Once a month the four friends would gather together to share a meal, and their lives. This had been their custom since they graduated from university two years earlier. And each gathering had a routine of its own: a dignified meal with each of the ladies following proper social etiquette, before eventually launching into an evening of debauchery.

They had covered the usual topics: school mates who were now engaged, married or pregnant, the fantasy of licking the sexy abs of the underwear model on the nearby billboard versus the reality of only hairy, beer-bellied council workers frequenting their local bar, and what they loved and hated about their bodies. And then, right on cue, the conversation turned to sex. It always did.

“Ok, hottest love scene of all time?” Stella Cameron eyed each of her friends, her eyes sparkling with a wicked gleam.

“You mean on film?” Nina Emerson asked.

Stella shrugged. “Film, TV, literature. Anything. Mine has to be anytime Sookie and Bill hook up in True Blood. Damn that show is hot!”

Next to her, Jules McKinley nodded eagerly. “Definitely. The way he just grabs her and throws her on the bed…” She rolled her eyes back and shook her shoulders. The girls all burst into fits of giggles.

“But,” Jules sighed as the laughter died down, “Give me Ryan Phillippe in Cruel Intentions any day. Lying above me, staring into my eyes as he gently rocks into me…” She smiled dreamily and nodded. “Now that is sexy.”

Stella turned to her right. “Ok Alex. You’re up.”

Alexandra Hadley took a sip from her cocktail and pondered. “But there are so many to choose – how does a girl limit herself to just one?”

“Easy. She stops being a whore and picks one!” Stella scoffed.

Alex rolled her eyes. It was about that time; Stella has gulped three margaritas which meant for the rest of the night she would refer to the girls as either “whore” or “bitch”.

“Ok then I would have to say The Notebook.” All the girls nodded in agreement. “Having that massive fight and then a split second later he just crashes his lips against her and carries her into the house. What I wouldn’t do for a guy to just take me like that! Fuck!”

The passionate scene in The Notebook

The girls raised their glasses and clinked. “Cheers!”

They all turned to Nina expectantly.

She smiled a devilish grin. “I can’t believe no one has said my one yet. It’s been the topic of conversation in every office, between every group of girlfriends, it’s mentioned on my newsfeed every day, it’s been discussed in book clubs and on the morning talk shows…” She trailed off, waiting for her friends to connect the dots.

They did. Instantly.

“Fifty Shades of Grey!” The four girls chorused enthusiastically.

“Oh fuck yeah! I’m changing mine! Sookie and Bill can bite me…and so can Christian!” Stella growled insatiably.

Their discussion of the highly popular narrative quickly descended into a thorough examination of each sexual escapade the notorious couple embark on. They analysed the comfort level and logistics of each position, the potential for orgasm in each, and the likelihood that any of them would ever, in actual fact, attempt to re-enact a scene if the chance arose.

Nina sighed despondently. “If only my love life was half as hot as Ana’s. How is it fair that a two dimensional FICTIONAL woman has a hotter sex life than me?!”

Jules held up her hand for a high-five. “Amen. As much as I love Adam, I do, the passion is quickly fading. When we first started dating we would do it all over my house. All over his house.” She smiled mischievously and wiggled her eyebrows, “All over his desk.” She sat back and groaned. “And now the most adventurous we get is doing it on top of the sheets”. She took a swig of her drink as her friends collapsed in fits of laugher.  “It’s not funny! I’m 29. I should have a sex life to rival Samantha Jones.”

Stella poured her another margarita. “If you want a hotter sex life then do something about it. And then come and tell us all the juicy details”.

Jules sat up and slammed her glass down on the table. “That’s it! Stella you’re a genius! That can be the last hurrah of our twisted twenties before we hit dirty thirty!”

All of the girls stared at her in confusion. “What?”

She began to talk excitedly. “Do you remember about a year ago we were saying we didn’t want to turn thirty not having achieved anything? Well we’re almost there and look at us – we still suck. None of us are married. I’m nowhere near being promoted to a head teacher role. Nina you only just changed companies so you’re not going to be at the top of that corporate ladder anytime soon. Stella you hate your boss and keep telling us you’re going to open your own business, but you never do. And Alex you’ve never made it inside a courtroom, let alone been given a case to defend.”

The three friends collapsed back into their seats and rumbled their annoyances.

“Way to bring the mood down.”

“Why don’t you stick that knife in my chest so I can see your direct hit?”

Jules waved them off. “Think about it. If there is one thing we do have control over it’s our sex lives. So let’s take control!”

Stella was intrigued. “What exactly are you proposing?”

“A bucket list. A sex bucket list.”

She had her friends captivated. They looked at her with interest, with curiosity, and with a hint of arousal.

She looked at each of the women as she slowly delivered her clincher. “Our fantasies– the positions, the places, the men – as many as we can before the last of us turns thirty.”

There was a moment of silence before the three girls jumped up and cheered.

“Fuck yeah!”

They began to formulate their plan. Having celebrated Nina’s birthday several weeks earlier, the group had just eleven months before they would all reach thirty. Two pitchers of cocktails later, they had finalised their inspired idea. Every woman had made a list of their sexual fantasies. They had thirty days to fulfil at least one act on their list before they would meet again at their monthly gathering and divulge their exploits.

Excitement hung in the air. The four women were giddy with anticipation and keen to begin.

They held up their glasses and toasted, “To the next eleven months of debauchery, of depravity, of wickedness – of a FUCKING good time!”

Enjoyed reading this?  You can read a few of other finalists here, here, here and here.