We’ve heard the statistics before and yet, each time I hear them, they’re no less shocking. According to White Ribbon Australia, one in three Australian women over the age of 15 have reported experiencing physical or sexual violence at some time in their lives. And I have no doubt it’s true. I have no doubt because I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t had an experience – at some point in their lives – when they’ve felt physically unsafe because of a man. (And yes, it’s important to acknowledge that men are also the victims of domestic violence but the majority of victims are overwhelmingly women).
So. Last week these three completely different community service announcements about violence against women came across our desk. Watch them and then tell us which one you think is the most effective …
What do you think? Which is the most effective?
Comments
153 Comments so far
The first ad made me want to cry hearing the sounds through the wall and relating to my own past situation. But I’m not really comfortable with the idea that responsibility falls on others as well as the abuser. Sometimes people aren’t in a situation where it’s possible for them to help and I don’t think it’s helpful, only distracting from the fact that it is up to the abuser to stop or the victim to leave and get help themselves.
The second one seemed to fall a bit short in getting the point across. It tells a sad story in a pretty framework.
The third one is the most effective by far for me. It is honest, straightforward and puts up a mirror to the victim if they’re watching it. It rarely stops. People usually need to leave before it will stop.
Now I’m off to have a deep breath, a cuppa and recover from these ads!
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I can’t bring myself to watch any of them, far too disturbing.
If I knew anyone who was ina violent relationship I would do anything I could to help them, but it is not that easy..
I also think educating our children is an important step, an ad showing girls what is accepatable and what should make you run for the hills might help.
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As a previous victim of domestic violence and having stood in my front lawn screaming for help before being dragged back in by the hair (no-one came), I can relate to the first ad a little.
But I would prefer to see ads or campaigns aimed at our GIRLS and BOYS. Teaching the girls about red flags in relationships. Teaching the boys about respect for girls and healthy ways to cope with anger. Programs aimed at increasing self-esteem in both genders (because it all comes back to self-esteem).
I guess they touched on the issue a little with the “Crossing the Line” series of ads last year but not enough in depth.
Women in DV situations are not really going to be impacted by these ads (and you better hope they are watching them without the perpetrator around). So how to reach the desired target audience?
We need to start earlier than this. Shut the gate BEFORE the horse has a chance to bolt.
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Actually I watched “the burning bed” with my abusive ex. Needless to say, I picked it. He was disgusted by the film (insight?), but I told him to be very careful when it finished.
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I totally agree with you. Great point about educating our children.
I’m very sorry that happened to you.
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the third one is the most effective for me. BY FAR.
the pain and sadness in her eyes, and literally all over her face.
but the worst is that last split second when she reacts to the abuser coming..
that is heart-breaking.
1st one- what doesn’t make it effective for me is that when the door is answered, the neighbour looks up to the abuser, which i took to mean that if he had been planning to confront him until he realised he was much bigger than him, and then he chickened out. maybe i am overthinking that???
2nd one- very effective in the words she speaks, but the fact everyone nods and smiles along doesn’t work. it would be better if the audience nodded and listened at the beginning and then gradually heard the words, become horrified and then reacted..
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You missed the point with the first one. He was never going to pick a fight – he was going to help out the abuser. That’s the point – if you don’t do something, you might as well hand the person a baseball bat to work with.
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but weren’t you meant to think he was going to help. i understand the message of the video i just think it wasn’t as well executed as it could have been
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No, I think you were supposed to think he was going to help (stop the fight somehow) – so the shock was hightened when you realised he was going to help the abuser keep fighting.
Had nothing to do with chickening out or anything.
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I can relate to all three ads. First ad is being little and hearing my parents fight and my dad hit my mum countless times and being too young to do anything or be so scared to disucss it. The second one is thinking of my mum who still stays with my dad even though I’ve told her I will support her and help her and admits knowing he was violent before they got married. The third ad is seeing my mum look that way and spend days in bed hiding from the world while my dad stayed out of her way and the blackness over our house. I am married to the most beautiful man and a former boxer who would never ever lay a finer on me or abuse me, but there are certain triggers that absolutely set me off and I feel like I can’t breathe and panic and I lash out at him verbally. I hate myself for it. So for all of you who think staying in an abusive relationship doesn’t affect your children, you are only kidding yourself. You go one way or the other and I’ve realized in my thirties if I don’t get help I will destroy my marriage and myself. I look at most men with hate. It’s awful but true. This isn’t a simple daddy issue which I hate when I hear that term. You would never know this about me. I have everything going for me in life but only my closest friends know. I’m lucky I have an amazing husband but he’s walking on eggshells sometimes now around me. My parents look after my niece because my sister thinks the abuse has stopped and she refuses to talk about it. I watch my parents like a hawk, I spend as much time with my niece as I can and watch for any signs and wordy myself sick for the day that he does something that she will see or hear. My brother hates my father and barely speaks to him. We are all terrified of him but we escaped and my mum is still trapped and refuses to leave. It’s also about stigma and that’s how men hide the abuse. Usually in ehtnic communities it may be accepted or unspoken and women of my mother’s generation usually stay due to the stigma of divorce and basically she is waiting for my dad to die. Imagine that kind of a life? I have so many mixed emotions and it’s very hard when my siblings except my brother want to talk about it. I’ve been neighboirs with a couple who used to have the most horrendous fights and it still sends chills trough me and I called the police many times to the point where one day the policewoman stould there and said the girlfriend “we are sick of coming here for you. You have a neighboirs who obviously cares about you. Wake up. We don’t want to come back aain because next time it might be too late for you”. She helped her back her bags while the boyfriend stould there over her denying everything and they walked her out. A week later she was back again and I saw them loved up walking down the street and I cried and cried. I moved out and I still wonder about her. White ribbon day is a great concept and I truly believe in it.
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Sorry about typos on iPhone and takes ages to fix up. Thanks.
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My heart goes out to you LBF. I hope you find peace from your childhood and healing and wholeness soon xo
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Thanks gorgeous! X
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i second that xxx
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I think the first and the third are equally effective, because they’re aimed at different target audiences.
I felt the first dragged out quite a bit, but the ending was a real shocker.
I had to look away from the third.
I now the second dealt with the emotional side, but I feel that emotional and verbal abuse needs to be highlighted more and that the same is true of the involvement of children.
I hope to see these PSAs on TV soon. Thx for bringing them to out attention Bec.
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They are all very disturbing but the first one really was the most effective for me.
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the first one! wow that will stay with me for awhile.
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1st one by far.. it frightened me.
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Definately the first.
The second is clever but could almost be seen as ‘her fault’ as she knew what she was getting into. Of course I don’t think this, but thinking it could be seen this way.
The third is striking but easy to dismiss as ‘just make up’.
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The 1st…the witness/bystander..culpable by inaction…a effective social message.
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While I was impacted by all three of the messages in each, I think that people tend to become too focused on the physical abuse in DV relationships. I can’t tell you how many women I know have been affected by emotional abuse, financial abuse and general disempowerment, which is just as much DV as the physicality. The shock value of the physical assaults is very powerful, but I think that the community message needs to be the more subtle types of DV, that are just as disabling, but more difficult to identify from the outside.
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and not to forget the men who suffer this……. my partner came from this environment and it has scarred him forever…
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I agree, Rosanna – my close friend was in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage for years – no physical violence but emotional and financial abuse.
It wasn’t until she left her marriage and asked for help that we realized that this is classified as domestic violence. I think this needs to be pointed out to people. Not all abuse leaves physical signs or marks, or is loud enough to be heard by neighbours.
Maybe it needs to be re-named ‘domestic abuse’ to make things clearer.
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so true! and the emotional/financial abuse is often what keeps the victim in the relationship.
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The second one. What gets forgotten is that abuse takes many forms, and that ad explains a lot of them. I have come from a marriage where o wasn’t hit, but my husband tried to isolate me, demean me, humiliate and weaken me in order to keep me dependent on him. All while looking like Mr Nice Guy. If I’d heard this ad, I might have recognized the signs long before it was too late. We all know about violence, but most of us don’t recognize the path there.
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The first ad certainly is extremely confronting. However, I would hope that this ad is not taken in a literal sense and an individual feels they must personally approach a violent situation. They should definitely call the police or approach the victim in another environment (if possible) as, speaking from personal experience, an approach in this manner can make it even worse for the victim if someone intervenes – as the attacker believes they have a ‘right’ to act in this way and resents anyone saying otherwise. Re 3rd ad….I have seen that face in my own mirror in the past and that is a message to the victim to get help which I think is the ONLY effective message. They must get out.
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Any type of violence, against anyone is terrible, ask anyone, male or female, if they have ever felt threatened, and the answer will be yes. While we have to, as a community denounce all violence, it is also important that we dont overstate the issue and in the process paint most men as evil women bashers, which 99percent are not. Is a fine line to walk.
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I think that anyone with any sense knows that MOST men aren’t ‘evil women bashers’. And talking about the men that are, doesn’t/shouldn’t taint the majority of men that aren’t.
I don’t agree that it’s a ‘fine line to walk’ when common sense prevails. I think it’s a worse condition to see the statisitics of domestic violence and ignore them in an odd effort to NOT offend the men who don’t do it.
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I was more referring to the 1 in 3 stat, or becs statement that she doesnt know a woman…, it is easy to generate these type of stats to support a view that an issue is more prevalent than it actually is, but we need to be careful we dont overstate in the proceed and by extention, paint most men as threats, as I said, who hasnt felt threatened, male or female, at some stage. Other than that, all for a balanced anti domestic violence campaign
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The first and third. Domestic violence is the epitomy of evil. Man at his worst.
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The first one, it also made me cry. I thought he was going to help and he didn’t
My heart broke then.
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Me too…definitely the first.
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The first one was most effective to me. I gasped when I saw the guy handing over the baseball bat and I almost cried.
The second one didn’t do much for me at all.
The third one was also good but as others have mentioned, the “report” message doesn’t come through very strongly. If that was the aim of it, anyway.
I think most of these kinds of campaigns would do best to focus on reporting, either from a victim’s perspective or that of someone who knows someone who may be being abused. I’m not convinced that ads targeting the abusers are effective at all. I don’t know that it means we should stop trying but I don’t know if it’s where our focus should be either. It would be fantastic if men (or women) who felt they had the tendency to be violent towards their partners sought help before things went that far but I guess I’m a bit cynical about how many actually would. :\
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I agree! 1 the clear winner, 3rd video comes in 2nd
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The first add was horrible and confronting!
The 2nd one was a little naff and didn’t really have any shock value.
The 3rd one was horrible as well. Confronting too.
It takes me back to a time when my ex-husband and I had come down to Brisbane and we were staying the night at my then mother-in-laws place.
The next door neighbours were having the biggest fight in the world with plate smashing, terrible verbal abuse, crying etc. It honestly sounded as if he was going to kill her! I turned around to “MIL” and asked if she was going to call the Police. Her response was “Oh no we don’t get involved”! I got up and went to my mobile phone and called the Police instead. My “MIL” looked at me and scowled and said “Why can’t you just keep your nose out of it, you don’t have to live beside them do you!”
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That is horrendous, what a cow!!! Did the police come?
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All effective, but the first one – so if I wear a white ribbon, yes I’m ‘supporting the cause’ (or not supporting as the case may be) but really, how am I supposed to help? When I was a kid we used to live next door to a man who used to scream and yell and hit his mother, and then eventually when he was married his wife, we used to call the police all the time, they’d come, he’d calm down, and a few days later it was exactly the same. How exactly were we supposed to help any more than that? At least the other two ads seemed to list contact numbers for people looking for help to call. So I don’t think the first is particularly effective if all its calling people to do is wear a white ribbon.
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The reason that can actually be helpful is that if she ever decides to leave him or report him, there is a record of the abuse or at least a record of ‘disturbances’. Although, as someone mentioned, that can make life worse for the victim.
I think that if it is possible to talk to the victim alone at another time and ask her (or him) if calling the police makes it worse for them, and offer your support – bearing in mind that they may turn on you, but that is no reason to withdraw your support.
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Also these days if police see evidence of violence and assault they prosecute ( no exceptions) , regardless of wether the victim gives evidence or not ( jury is out on wether this helps the victim or not, but I tend to think it does. As the process does not require them to be actively involved – although they can choose to do so- but it is out of their hands. They might forgive the abuser, but as a community we say that this is wrong, and unacceptable. Call the police enough , report it enough and the perpetrator will go to gaol. What we do know is that victims themselves rarely contact police. Statistically speaking it is around the 8 th time before they contact support services and even more before they contact police. It also helps immensely to have this record when it comes to family court and settlement arrangements
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The sale of white ribbons go toward charities and support groups for domestic violence. It’s the same sort of system as breast cancer month, daffodil day and red nose day. Your wearing a white ribbon may remind someone else to do the same (I assume other products are also sold to raise funds.)
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I know that really this is not the solution, but by God it worked.
We knew a couple in a violent relationship. Everyone kept out of it, hoping she’d leave him until she found out she was pregnant with triplets. Her brothers went round to her partner one day when she wasn’t there and “had a chat” to him. They informed him that if they found out that he’d laid a finger on her in a way he shouldn’t have, that they would be visiting him with some friends. Apparently it stopped, abruptly. I don’t know if there was verbal/emotional abuse, but there was no longer any physical. Not sure how long they ended up staying together.
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That first one definitely, when he handed the bat over it made me cry.
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Oh God, that first one made me want to vomit. I don’t want to watch any more.
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The first one for sure, if reporting is the aim. It made me cry
Second one isn’t very effective at all to me.
Third one is most effective in the last second when her head whips around as though she’s heard “him” coming.
However, what none of them do is explain that domestic violence is seldom a straight line with the victim being abused like that every day. I’d like to see an ad where they show the perpetrator in all his guises, including the calm and often charming people they often can be, especially when in public. Also the contrite phase where they cry and say sorry and promise to never do it again.
I think these things would help people to understand domestic violence better and to not see the “victims” as just that – poor pathetic women worthy of contempt for staying in such an obviously dangerous place. I think if people could see it for the complex and subtle situation it often is, there would be more likelihood that people would support women in this situation and be willing to report.
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Very Very True
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Ads portraying women (and men and children) as victims of domestic violence do not sit all that well with me. They often are a turn-off to the onlookers and tend to perpetuate the view that there is little a “victim” and the people who care for him/her can do except stand around and put up with it.
Would love to see an ad of the “victim” moving out, starting a new life, smiling, accessing public services, successfully going through counselling and healing than watch these ads. Because that’s how victims become survivors. They don’t need to see on TV what they already know.
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As a previous victim of domestic abuse, both physical and emotional, I COMPLETELY agree with you. There are many sides to the abuser and the victim and people are not always what they seem. It’s usually an ongoing thing that escalates over time and the ‘make-ups’ can be very deceiving.
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The first one had shock value, literally deep intake of breath. And it makes me think…
The third is beautiful in a horrifying way.
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The first one had me in tears. I have been in the situation of doing nothing but “being there” for my abused friend for many years. I felt all I could do was support her and listen to her when she needed it, as she was unwilling to tell anyone but me, or let me tell anyone. After a recent incident with her husband, I decided that enough was enough, that I had to do something other than just listen. I spoke to an abuse hotline and I talked to her about it. I then encouraged her to tell her parents and to see what this was doing to not only her life, but her children’s lives. I am feeling a little anxious today as she is meant to be telling her parents this morning. A really big part of me believes she will not do this and will just continue to put up with his abuse. If this is the case, I do not know what I will do. Is it crossing the line of friendship if I were to tell her parents and of course risk losing her friendship? Perhaps it would be worth it if it meant they knew, that she no longer could pretend all was OK, and that she would have them to help her? I just don’t know. Am I being a friend by doing as she asks and just listening to her, which in fact enables her to continue the charade of a nice happy family, or does being a friend mean that I help her when she wont help herself?
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TELL THEM. It is never crossing a line if it will mean her and her Childrens safety in the end. You may lose her for a while but in the end she will understand why you did it. I was a victim of DV and I wish I told someone sooner
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Thank you. Your reply made me cry. I really want to tell them or her brother. It’s been long enough.
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Tell them. I had a similar situation years ago when I told her parents. She stayed with him for some time after that and hated me for a while. But her parents helped her through leaving him and we did become close again – but it took time. I couldn’t have imagined if the worst did happen and her parents just looked at me knowing I had known. It is so complex though and every situation is different. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, for me that was the right thing to do. Good luck, it’s a hard road for everyone.
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That is what I fear. If I don’t tell them and his abuse escalates and they then find out I knew all along – what kind of friend do I look like? I know that may seem selfish, but my main concern is of course, helping her and her children.
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I think in these situations you do need to protect yourself as well though. It is a big thing to carry for someone and in my case, it was right that the family be involved. It’s shit though, through and through. I hope she finds a way out. xx
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Or worse… what if his anger escalates one day and the violence is more serious than threats and bruises. Violent men are dangerous and unpredictable. I think that telling her parents is the right thing to do. Hopefully she’s doing it herself as we speak. Good luck! x
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I feel for you Nicole, it’s a heartbreaking position for you to be in. I lived it for years. The last time it started happening again I hung up the phone from my friend and immediately called her mum, I then rang my friend straight back to tell her – and she thanked me. She was so humiliated that she was in that position again that she couldn’t find the words to tell her mum. I’m really close to my friend’s mum though too, and I’ve known my friend for 11 years – I knew what I had to do at the time. Do what you feel is right, it’s important to be true to yourself when you make decisions like this as they’re not easy and you can’t predict how others will react – my friend hasn’t always thanked me over the years! Good luck x
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There are children involved, do it for them.
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she is lucky to have you. it is huge burden for you to be carrying. if it was your daughter/sister/mother would you want their friend to come to you?
tell them. and know that in the end she will thank you.
all the best xxx
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Thank you everyone. I have known my friend for 26 years. She has been with him for 23 of those years. She hid the abuse from even me for a few years, at once stage – easier for her to live the fantasy I guess.
I wouldn’t say I was close to her parents, but I know them well and they are lovely, caring people. It is hard and my main fear is that I tell them, they don’t help as I think they should, she ends our friendship and stays with him. Leaving her with nobody to confide in and nobody to help her and her young kids when they need it.
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that is a big risk, but i think worth it. hopefully her parents will act on what you say, and give her somewhere to come to when she leaves.
it is so difficult, i feel for you xx
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They all had an impact on me, the fiirst made me physically sick to think others that close can take no action, second not much response but the third was in your face and I hope more women and men affected like this can get the strength to leave. Wow, terrible what people do to the one they are supposed to love.
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I agree with Susan. I doubt these ads would mean much to the men who do these things. I think ads directed at getting help, strategies to use before the violence escalates and the long term effects of a man being alone and losing access to his children might be more effective.
The one in three stat doesnt surprise me. I experienced physical violence in my early 20′s ( thanks Ross – I hope you never had kids) but emotional violence later on in my life which is pretty devastating as well.
I teach young men now and it saddens me to see the gangster/violent attitude that many seem to have and admire and then there is the influence of all the internet porn which is really only a small step away from violence towards women. Is it any wonder the stats are so high in our society.
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Not only Sexual and Physical but what about Emotional and Psychological? I was a victim of DV and I think any advertisement that gets it out in the open describing all 4 types of DV is a good thing, I have a Child as a result of the relationship in which I was a victim of DV, I will eventually have to relive it all in either Mediation or Family Law Court when the time comes and most of it won’t count as it was never reported through the correct channels due to fear, and my concerns about my child’s safety and well-being will count for nothing as well because I will appear vindictive in the eyes of Family Law especially because the Violence, Intimidation, Fear, Psychological and Emotional abuse was never reported to the Police, I’ve spent 2&1/2 years protecting my child and supervising his visits which are decisions made on fear rather than taking it through the proper legal channels as Family Law changed in 2006 and the legal advice I was originally given wasn’t going to keep my child safe so I went it alone.
Report it when it happens because you may need the reports to protect You and your Child in the future. Document EVERYTHING with Police otherwise you don’t have anything.
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If the campaign objective is to report domestic violence then ad no. 1 is most effective. Although ad no. 3 triggers the emotion, you definitely feel sad for her but it doesn’t push the report message as strong as the first ad. The second ad is very weak, wouldn’t rate it at all.
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Wow.
I thought the first one was really powerful and similar to that social experiment they tried in South Africa which showed neighbours were more likely to complain about loud music than a woman screaming.
The wedding one didn’t really have much of an impact on me – it just seemed a bit romanticised and the message didn’t really hit home.
But again the final one with the images of abuse was really strong. Hopefully all of these ads get the message out there and everyone gets involved in White Ribbon Day.
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All three of these made me cry. I felt ill watching all of them. How could anyone view those and not be moved in some way?
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Any of the ads would be good for women to watch .. but I think the ads are coming from the wrong angle. These are more graphic depictions of any previous advertising campaigns to raise awareness, but still the same.
A better approach would be to advertise to the perpetrators of family violence .. show them how to stop themselves, show them how to contact phone help services, educate them on how to prevent family violence, show them the alternatives to resorting to violence and control and families may just stand a chance.
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Yep – we need two sets of ads…
1 – to encourage women to seek help when they are the victims of domestic violence (maybe not just women…anyone really)
2 – to encourage people who are prone to being violent to seek help beforehand…
Prevention and cure…
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Yes I agree, the prevention and cure concept.
But I’d also add a third type of ad, similar to the first video above, to encourage people to report but to perhaps add a little info on how they can go about it plus how they are protected by the law for their interference (if in fact they are).
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I agree that more work needs to be done with perpetrators. I have two issues though: 1) Domestic violence is quite entrenched behaviour and I doubt that ads will stop it (remember that many perpetrators believe that their partner “provokes” them and deserves the violence). 2) it is important that the perpetrators of domestic violence do not begin to see themselves as victims.
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