by KATE HUNTER
I don’t know anyone who goes to confession at church any more. Why would they? Besides it being a bit creepy, these days, you can confess ON THE INTERNET.
Whether you want to get something off your chest, or the voyeur in you needs a virtual window to peep through to make you feel more virtuous, there’s something for everyone.
Married women are particularly well catered for at www.secretregrets.com where there’s a whole section dedicated to the regrets of married women.
Have a look six of the juiciest, I mean, most moving:
40 year old Female
This is where writing a post like this gets awkward. Normally I’d share something – just to get the comments rolling. Problem is, I’m not writing this piece anonymously – so I might sneak mine into the comments.
What are your secret marriage regrets?
Comments
46 Comments so far
I regret kissing him, I regret sleeping with him. I regret falling in love with him. I regret doing it, all because I know you are a push over, and even if you find out, you will most likely forgive and forget.
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I don’t really have any regrets as every decision I’ve made, bad and good, has led me to where I am now.
I admit though, I do sort of wish I’d really told my cheating, lying, ba$tard of an ex what I really thought of him at the time instead of trying to make him feel better when I ditched him and agreeing that we could still be ‘friends’.
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I regret that I will never love any one as much as I loved you – even 10 yrs after you shattered my heart just the thought of you makes me sick with longing. Will I ever get over you?
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Most of the women I think really are to blame.
Don’t feel guilty for taking a nap, or making money, or having a pedicure… But why lie about it? Reminds me of ladies back in the day who dressed as men so they could vote.
We’ve come too far to lie about being OURSELVES.
Be proud.
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I actually think is a very low blow to consider the illustrated regrets as “juicy”. With the exception of the last “me time” one, the five others are clearly from DEEPLY troubled women who have dealt with some major issues in their lives. These are not just regrets, they are the story of the lives of the women who put them out there. Calling them “juicy” is just demeaning.
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i regret not leaving you before you had that affair, i regret not having the courage to understand that i didnt really like you very much at the end. I regret beleiving you when you told me it was my fault and it was because i was fat and had no self esteem. I regret letting you make me spend 7 years healing and finding myself again.
I dont regret meeting and falling in love the wonderful man im going to marry next month.
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Me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up not long ago. Our relationship was almost perfect until the final few months – when his bipolar really kicked in and he tried to kill himself.
Reading that first story of regrets is like looking into what could (most likely would) have been my future. For the first time I feel like the pain and heartbreak of living without him is truly worthwhile…
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I regret not telling you about my first and the one that came before our boys.
It seemed easier not to mention it…it was from another life, another world, that it never seemed important.
I regret agreeing to the move. Is it too late to change my mind?
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Wow! So much regret, so negative and depressing. I have just come out of a 20 year relationship which was extremely hard to end and took years to work through whilst married to realise that I was not in love with this man who I had promised myself too. Took a long time to admit that and even longer to leave. And then he absolutely dragged me through the court system very successfully to punish me for leaving. But I regret nothing. Not a thing. I wouldn’t be the strong woman I am today, I wouldn’t have my wonderful children, who are the absolute lights of my life. It’s a shame I couldn’t love their father (for so many reasons). But I refuse to regret a thing. It’s called life, and I prefer to move forward and make every day better than the last. That is the best gift to myself and my children.
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I regret letting our mothers get involved. I regret that we weren’t enough for each other and we were probably too young to really know ourselves or trust what we had. I regret the following 14 years of Family Law Court drama.
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I regret the hurt I have caused you and I hope that me leaving this world takes some of it away. I’m not worth it
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Sad, I am really concerned to read your comment. No matter what might have happened in the past, the future can definitely become a better place! Please don’t make any rash decisions, please talk to your doctor or a trusted person about how you are feeling. I am sure you are a wonderful person with a lot to offer the world, please be kind to yourself xx
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No one is worthless, and removing yourself from the world is not the only solution. Please call a friend, family member or health professional…. Please. Xoxo
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Oh, Sad! Please don’t do anything to hurt yourself. I don’t know who you are but I can absolutely promise that there are people who love and adore you and would be devastated if something happened to you. Talk to your doctor. Take care xxxx
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Sad, no matter what hurt you think you have caused, you also have the capacity to help and to heal. Please dont think taking yourself out of the world is the only answer. You have worth.
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Sad, please talk to someone who cares about you. Or call Lifeline; they’ll help 13 11 14. Please.
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Please don’t …I don’t know you or what you are going through …but what I do know is that there will be a brighter day…it may not be tomorrow or the next but it will come …please just hold on…and know that even strangers care you are here and exist and therefor you are worth it…every little bit!
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Sad, I’m so worried about you. Please, if you don’t mind, please comment again so we know if you’re OK.
I can understand the pain of having hurt someone you live deeply, truly, I can. But truly, you absolutely won’t make it better by taking your own life. Reverse the situation. If someone you love hurt you, and then killed themselves over it… wouldn’t you feel devastated, and guilty, like a terrible wrong had been done that you could never ever put right? Please, don’t do that to the person you care for, and don’t do that to yourself. Please get help. Things can and will get better if you give yourself the chance.
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i’m here, but i cant not say that every minute i’m here im thinking its a minute too long
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Everything that happens lays the foundations for the next step in life. We live, we learn and we grow from the choices we make, good and bad. No regrets but many lessons learned and wisdom gained.
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I regret not being more compassionate when you lost your father. I know my behaviour wasn’t what you expected or needed.
I regret that I’ll never live by myself (unless you die which is not something I am hoping for any time soon!)
I regret not “doing the London thing” because I found you when I was young and you were older and already had it out of your system.
But I will never regret marrying you or any part of our relationship, because I could have searched the planet for the next 20 years and i would never have found anyone better.
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I regret nothing..despite marrying someone with numerous addictions and emotional problems.
Life is too short for regrets..forgive, learn and move on.
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I regret wasting 15 years as friends before realising how I felt about you and doing something about it….
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I regret putting myself first and not you more often.
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I regret any time I ever wasted on you.
I regret trusting you with my heart
I regret giving you my virginity
I regret that I wasnt strong enough to leave you the first time
Im glad my sons will be the kind of man I wished you had been
Im glad my girl will choose more wisely than her mother did.
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I regret being a deadweight for the first six years of our marriage.
I regret that we never had a “honeymoon period”, because it was straight into a very difficult relationship.
I regret that you went out and killed yourself at work while I stayed home sick.
I regret that I was a zombie when you needed a wife.
I regret saying no to moving across the country so that you could be closer to your family. Back then, it would have been easier for you. I was very selfish.
I regret that I spent your money carelessly in an effort to make myself feel better about me.
I regret the times that I lost control, and the rage and the anger that I showed.
But even though you might regret marrying me, I don’t regret marrying you. Six and a half years later, you’re still the best man I know. Even though we don’t have a lot of romance and lovie-dovie (and we never did, so maybe that’s why we don’t miss it) I love you deeper and stronger than I could ever love anyone. You are my best friend, my favourite companion.
I have been making a huge effort since the nightmare started to ebb to try and be a good wife to you. I’ve tried to support you in your dreams, to make our house a home, and to support you like you have supported me. I really hope you’ve noticed, and I hope that you feel that the nightmare is really over.
I hope now that you can love me like a wife and an equal, not a dependent and a burden.
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Good luck Me, I hope your life has really turned around and you are now working as a team with your husband and you are both reaping the benefits with love, togetherness and compassion for each other and will consider to do so for many years.
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Let him know this as you would not want to ever regret that too little was said or done and he never knew how you felt.
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I regret not taking better care of myself by believing your lies instead of my instincts when accepting you back into my life; allowing the pain of your sexual addiction to destroy my trust, my self esteem and my happiness.
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I regret being scared of you wanting to marry me when we were 19.
I regret not saying I loved you when we were together again at 22. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe you wouldn’t have had your 3 beautiful children with me, but I missed out on 21 years when you decided to marry her.
I don’t regret that she left you & broke your heart, which bought you back to me at 41. We have the rest of our life to get it right this time.
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My biggest regret is marrying an alcoholic, jealous and violent person who did everything to demean me possible. Like making sure I never visited my in-laws house, or any other family member for that matter, for ostracizing me from my family and treating my two children badly. For making me feel like a thief for spending a $20 on myself, and not allowing me to see my friends by creating ugly situations. For drinking everything in the house and screaming in fits of anger. For hitting me with anything that came to hand then laughing when I’d get upset. For throwing all of my possessions out during a tropical rainstorm, then when we separated, for selling or giving away everything I had. For calling into my work and telling workmates what evil things I had done and my every failing. For taking every penny I’d saved.
Yes, I regret marrying you.
You evil and wicked woman.
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Wow
That’s a personality disorder if I ever saw one. Sorry that you went through all of that – horrible.
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I regret not saying ‘yes’ when you asked me to marry you.
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Whoa! Can anybody taste the bitterness?!? What happened to putting things behind you and getting on with life instead of being bitter and regretful? Life is what you make it!!!
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The discussion *is* called “secret marriage regrets” – so you probably shouldn’t expect ponies, butterflies & sunshine.
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I regret kissing him, because I’ll never be able to honestly say that I was always faithful and now that it’s happened, I can never take it back. I just hope you never find out.
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please, don’t beat yourself up. if i’d just “kissed him” i might have saved my marriage. but i ditched my husband for him and it wasn’t the right decision. just love your husband as hard as you can. he never has to know.
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I regret believing in you and trusting you, while you were supposedly confused but persuing other women. I don’t regret going thru your phone and confronting you, nor msging the other women. You’re a lying coward.
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I’m getting married next year. Reading this reminds me to do a lot of things so I’ll have fewer regrets. I love you hubby-to-be.
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I regret choosing the wrong person. I knew it then and i did it anyway as my desire to have a child won out. I still love you.
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I regret not being stronger when I needed to be. Circumstances made me stronger and I am one hell of a force when I need to be now. Only wish this strength had come earlier. Better late than never I guess.
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I regret that I didn’t have the self esteem to tell you to get f*cked the first time you demeaned and belittled me. It would have saved me 14 years of hell.
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Non regrette rien. Although my marriage ended 7 years ago under awful circumstances, my 2 beautiful daughters are a product of it. I will never regret them.
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Regrets? I have a few. But in the end, too few to mention … It’s true, I have only one regret – that I married the useless idiot b*astard in the first place.
But I have my children and they worked out pretty good so … Whaddayado?
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Is ‘regret’ the right term to use in some of these cases. Can you ‘regret’ when complaining about some apects of an ongoing relationship? How can you regret behaviour that is still occuring? Sorry to sound pedantic, but maybe some education regarding the meaning of the word is in order here.
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I agree. I don’t think some of these a regrettable issues. Some are, but most are continual lies that are still going on.
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