Comments on: Dear Brian McFadden: read this and then tell me I’m “pathetic”.

By: mummaoftwo

mummaoftwo — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 08:48:47 +0000

Well done! I went through this and in the end (6 months ago) I left as I realised staying for the kids was not right. How would my kids turn out? I am now a single Mum of two, going to uni, struggling every day but I am happy & most importantly my kids are too. My friends gave me the words I needed to get through it ‘strong’

By: Em

Em — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:58:47 +0000

Jess…You have obviously never been passionately in love, especially a messy young love. Poor me, I certainly was.

By: jillibilli

jillibilli — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 12:40:42 +0000

He also had a drug fuelled relationship with his ex wife.

By: jillibilli

jillibilli — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 12:24:56 +0000

I believe so. I’ve lost my job and my freedom because I believed someone. I’m not stupid, I just could not believe that this could happen to me…again.

Before I met him I had a 10 year relationship that broke up and then I spent 2 years on my own. I thought I knew what to to look out for, but there is an element out there that you cannot see coming.

I don’t think that I have been more scared for my welfare than now. I’ve lost my income, my family, my friends and any security. I can’t leave. I have no where to go.

I am studying to get a job in another industry which I have had to apply for an extension to do as obviously if I get a job, the control goes.

My message is. Just do what you have to do to get out of it. No matter what you do they will try to stop you. Just do it. Do it for your children and do it for you.

Brian McFadden only came to Australia on the back of Delta Goodrum. Goodbye Brian

By: Jarna

Jarna — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 08:20:52 +0000

Trent Dalton (who is one of our finest writers) wrote a wonderful piece on domestic violence for Qweekend magazine a few years ago – it’s called ‘Home is Where the Hurt Is’ and for someone who hasn’t experienced an abusive relationship it was illuminating, infuriating and also just desperately sad. What your comment doesn’t touch on, but the story does, is the idea of a cycle of violence that perpetuates – not only do young men who grow up in violent households develop the idea that violence is the norm, so do young women. The notion of ‘red flags’ implies that women intrinsically know this isn’t how they should be treated, and it seems that for too many young people – vulnerable young women, especially – this just isn’t the case.

By: guest

guest — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 02:36:20 +0000

I HATE it when people say ‘why don’t you just leave?’. like it’s that simple. like a man (or woman) with probably a lifetime pattern of abusive behaviour will just go ‘righteo on your way then, have a great life!!!’ if you decided to leave them.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 17:19:10 +0000

My ex never technically HIT me, even so, I left after only a year of marriage (in case you’re wondering, he wasn’t violent before he signed that blank cheque to treat me how he pleased called a marriage certificate) AND I get criticised for ‘giving up on my family’ TOO soon. You can’t win! Oh and being a single parent is hard enough in normal circumstances let alone with an abusive ex.

By: JJ

JJ — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:42:25 +0000

I have known so many strong, outspoken, educated women who have been in abusive relationships. It makes me wonder if these men deliberately target such women, as some kind of ego trip – if they can subjugate a woman such as this, what power! And I think in many ways our strengths ironically make us more vulnerable, because we get further ensnared while refusing to believe this can actually be happening to us, a person who in no way fits the stereotype of an abused woman.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 10:11:57 +0000

Not sure what your reply meant Bradley but I was suggesting that anyone in this situation (yes I generalised women and I’m sorry) is in a vulnerable position due to the emotional and physical toll it has on both parties.

My bottom line is Brian is a dick.

By: neola

neola — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 07:34:39 +0000

You CAN do it, and you will – you really will. Do you have some supportive friends in your life? Have you told them? If you’ve been trying to hide it and keep it secret, please try to start telling someone you can trust. The more friends you can confide in, the more strength and confidence they can give you. x Sending you lots of courage and hope