What your wallet really says about your personality.

Hundreds of years from now, if archaeologists unearth our wallets, they are going to know just about everything there is to know about who we are.

Whether you call it a wallet or a purse, whether you carry a designer piece, an LV knock-off or a fraying Velcro-sealed tri-fold, where you keep your money is the key to your personality.

You don’t even need to open your mouth. Once you drop your purse on the table, you’ve already given everything away…

The Minimalist.

You have an EFTPOS card, a credit card and some crisp notes in the note section (definitely not shoved into the change compartment). You have a few gold coins in change, but you like to stay on top of that by using the correct change on every occasion. You always know how much money you have in your purse and in your accounts.

You are a thinker. Maybe even an over-thinker (but since when is thinking too much a crime?). You like to arrive on time, but the first thing you ask when you arrive is whether there is somewhere you can charge your phone.

You enjoy sorting out your wardrobe. You spent too much on your vacuum cleaner and you probably lied about it. When you are in the passenger seat of your friend’s car, you always open the glove box. If she’s not looking, you clean it out.

The Oprah.

You get a loyalty card! You get a loyalty card! You get a loyalty card! EVERYBODY GETS A LOYALTY CARD.

The bulk in your wallet is not coins. It’s not receipts. It’s not business cards. It’s the loyalty cards that you are too nice to refuse when a shop assistant asks you whether you want to sign up for their program and get an extra 5% off if you spend $500 in the next three days.

You’re a generous person. When people are jerks to you, you probably respond with kindness because that’s definitely the best way to deal with negativity in your life. If a shop assistant is rude, they’ve probably had a bad day. You are nice to telemarketers. You definitely give money to bad buskers because at least they’re giving it a go.

Downside: You’re not very good at saying no. You don’t really need every single loyalty card (or to help that person move house, or to pick that person up from the airport). And as satisfying as it is to finally find it in your wallet and triumphantly slam it down on the counter when the shop assistant asks you whether you have a loyalty card, the physio you’re going to need from carrying all of those cards around is going to cancel out any savings you are going to make.

The Dora.

Your wallet has everything in it. Everything. Bandaids, hair-ties, painkillers, money, cards, back-up cards, back-up money, safety pins, bobby pins, small pencil, insurance details, ID, emergency contact numbers and tampons.

You are the urban adventurer. You will arrive, survive and thrive. You are enthusiastic, brave and self-reliant – but can be prone to smugness when people have to come to you for essential items they really should have remembered to carry themselves.

You can live for a week on the contents of your handbag, which doubles as an overnight bag or flight carry-on, just in case you need to leave at a moment’s notice (you haven’t had to yet, but that doesn’t mean you won’t). Who doesn’t carry an umbrella every day? Fools, that’s who.

You probably got the most badges in Brownies. As an adult, you acquire skills easily and voraciously. Your hairdo is wake and shake (plus product, because you’re not an animal). You have spent too much time watching life hack videos on YouTube. Especially that one where the Russian guy opens a can of tuna with his bare hands and a slab of cement (see it here).

The hands-free goddess.

Maximum respect to the woman who keeps everything in her brain or her bra.

You have no qualms about wiping your slightly sweaty credit card on your blouse before you hand it over to a bewildered shop assistant who has just watched you reach down into the depths of your bosom and dig around until you find what you are looking for.

You have two boobs for a reason: Phone on the left, keys in the middle, money on the right. Tissues in all of these locations.

You never forget birthdays, appointments or names. You are a fan of the two-handed high-five (you like to give ten). You are also very good at waving, flagging down cabs and holding on when the bus stops suddenly.

Downside: You have definitely lied to the tech at the Apple Genius Bar when she asked you whether your phone fell into the pool. It actually fell out of your bra into the toilet when you reached over to flush.

The money clip enigma.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Sorry. You don’t exist.

So, which wallet are you?