weddings

'My partner wants to attend his ex's wedding, but his next request has made me feel sick.'

Navigating your current partner’s relationship with their ex is always going to be murky water.

But one woman on Reddit is experiencing this dilemma with a heightened sense of drama, writing on the forum that her boyfriend is desperate to go to his ex-girlfriend’s wedding… alone.

The user, weddingwtf, (creative name, too) wrote that she had been with her boyfriend for the last three years, and before that, he was with his ex-girlfriend for two years.

“She was his first love and I think he was (and still is) a little bit obsessed with her. They only broke up because his family moved to the other side of the country, so I guess they never had any real closure,” she wrote.

“He still considers her his best friend, although they don’t talk much any more. When we first started dating, I knew he was still hung up on this girl, but she didn’t want to be with him. It seemed like he was putting her on a pedestal and measuring all other girlfriends against that standard.

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“It made me a little jealous, but we weren’t that serious and she was 3,000 miles away, so I figured it was a non-issue. Over time our relationship got more serious, we fell in love, and he mentioned her less and less. Now they only talk maybe twice a month at most, and only by Facebook message,” she wrote.

Despite recognising their communication had slowed and her influence less pronounced, the woman wrote that she had a renewed sense of worry when the wedding invitation arrived. It was addressed to her boyfriend, with no plus-one welcome.

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“I assumed it was more of a courtesy invitation than anything, but my boyfriend is now saying that he plans to go. He wants to go without me, and spend a week there so he can spend some time with the bride before the wedding. I don’t know if he’s confirmed this with the bride yet or not, but he’s already researching flights and hotels,” she wrote.

All would be well and good, of course, if he didn’t have such a terrible track record in the past.

“It’s weird to go to your ex’s wedding. I could understand if they were still very close, but they’re not. And it’s even weirder to go without your current partner. More importantly, the last time he flew out to see this girl (about six years ago now) he slept with her, cheating on the girl he was dating at the time.”

Just because you can’t stop thinking about your ex doesn’t mean you should contact them. Ask Bossy unpacks it. Post continues after audio.

Her partner’s relatively blasé attitude about the entire ordeal is only magnifying her worry and stress.

“He seems to think that it’s a done deal and that I’m just being silly. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum, but the fact that he wants to ignore my concerns and run off to see some other girl is REALLY bothering me.”

After being inundated with comments regarding the way she should respond to his apathy about her concerns, the woman decided she would have a conversation with him about it.

“I’m taking tomorrow off to drive home and have a face-to-face chat with my boyfriend. Unless he’s been really obtuse and completely missed the fact that this really does bother me (which I doubt) we will most likely be breaking up,” she wrote.