It’s the place no-one wants to be.
The two groups of people you love most – your partner and your family – don’t get along. Maybe it’s your mum, dad or sibling who hasn’t warmed to them or maybe it’s the whole lot.
Either way, it’s a nightmare.
It’s a situation that Jessica Origliasso, one half of The Veronicas appears to have found herself in.
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After reuniting with ex Ruby Rose just over a year ago, it appears that Rose and Jess’s twin sister Lisa aren’t exactly close judging by a since-deleted tweet the Orange Is The New Black actress posted yesterday.
Of course neither party have confirmed this, but the tweet certainly doesn't scream 'getting along'. There are also 'rumours' that Jess and Lisa aren't as close as they used to be. So what do you do when your partner and family hate each other? Is it automatically game over for your relationship?
"Not necessarily. It’s definitely possible to continue to have good relationships with both even if they don’t get along," relationship coach Isiah McKimmie says.
"Although our family can be a good judge of who would be good for us, they don’t always get it right. Sometimes personal differences mean that people we love clash with each other."
The first step is to let both parties know how important they are to you.
"It’s really important that neither your partner or your family expect you to ‘choose sides’ or continually share their grievances about the other with you," she says.
"You can be clear with both your family and partner that you’re not willing to hear them speak poorly of the other and that you always expect them to be respectful in their interactions.
"You may be in a position however to understand what each parties grievances are and offer solutions and suggestions. You may also be able to help by sharing with each party the things you really value about the other, so they can see a different perspective too."
Ultimately it's about letting them both know that a relationship between the two of them is important to you.
"People tend to become defensive when we blame them or become angry first. Simply sharing how their disagreement makes you feel can help them to understand how difficult it is for you," she says.
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"It’s important to let them know that they're both important to you and it would mean a lot to you if they could get along."
She says it's up to both parties to be respectful and make an effort. However if one party did something in the first place to cause the rift, then it should be up to that person to apologise and make amends.
McKimmie says upcoming periods like Christmas can be particularly difficult, when a lot of tensions rising to the surface.
"If tensions can’t be immediately resolved, aim to set aside time when things have calmed down for you all to sit down and talk and aim to find a solution," she says.
"It can be helpful to ask a trusted third party to act as a mediator so you don’t have to feel like you’re trying to keep the peace."
Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do? Tell us below.
Top Comments
It also helps if the fighting parties act maturely and don't make attention-seeking posts on social media like a spiteful 12 year old (even if they profess to be having a "bad day"). There is something to be said about keeping things private.
This sounds great in theory, but requires a good level of emotional maturity from all parties - almost impossible from what I've observed!