By KATE HUNTER
How do you know whose advice to take when it comes to raising your kids?
It used to be so easy: you just had your mother, your mother-in-law, your sisters and the lady at the shops to either listen to or tell to pull their heads in.
Now, the whole entire world is joining in the chorus of people telling you you’re doing it wrong.
Some are highly qualified teachers, doctors, nurses and academics.
Others, like me, spout stuff for no other reason than it’s interesting to talk about.
So how do you evaluate which advice you listen to?
Whose criticism do you take to heart?
And whose opinions do let bounce off your brain straight into the bin?
Here’s a handy guide to help you sort through the oceans of advice and opinion out there.
Q: Is the advice coming from someone who stands to make money from dispensing it? Are they selling a book, DVD or software program guaranteed to create healthy, happy kids with Rhodes scholarship potential?
A: Ignore. I know a family who turned out three Rhodes scholars. There were ten kids in their house and neither parent had time to read parenting books. They were too busy parenting. Also they were working, gardening and enjoying a fine social life. Incredible but true.
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Top Comments
The value of a global community on the Internet is that now, instead of just the family around, we can listen to and consider the ideas of many more. I think this is wonderful but also potentially overwhelming. Ultimately everyone will make the decisions of who to listen to based on their instincts and that is the best advice to any mum.
I am 40 with three kids 4 and under. I am happy to take advice from my friends and peers who have children, particularly older ones. I am less inclined to take advice from my own mother and my in-laws; this is mainly due to what I perceive to be the result of a generational gap and fairly varying philosophical views. Whilst some of the "words of wisdom" shared by these wonderful grandparents are well-intentioned and sometimes quite sensible, I actually tend to block out even their most benign suggestions, ideas or general comments ("gosh, tut-tut, we had the kids out of nappies at 18 months" or "kids should wear bibs and be spoon fed until they go to school to avoid so much mess") because of the more emphatic unsolicited recommendations they all tend to make (from the couch!) such as "a good smack never hurt any of our kids" and "really, the kids should be going to church every Sunday", the kinds of thing that are 180 degrees from the way we are trying to parent our kids. I certainly don't believe grandparents have an automatic right to tell me how to raise my kids!
So true! My mother was horrified when she found out I was using disposable nappies with my first. And then equally horrified when I allowed her to eat finger food. Dont even ask me her reaction when she found out I was planning for her to go to childcare one day a week! She insisted on taking her for me so I let her go. And then that availability became not before 10am and on a different day each week and then she needed a few weeks off. Luckily I still kept the daycare place!
My mother and grandmother always gave great advice. My nan was quite the pioneer, she parented my mother and uncle in much the same way as we parent today. She loved being mum.