By JOHANNA CASTRO
Go on holiday without having to please everyone, sleep in late, chuck out all the iron-on name tags, never pack a lunch ever again, find time to spend in the garden, indulge in some exotic Thai cooking (with extra chillis of course) and concentrate on writing.
These were just some of the things that I had planned when my second ‘baby’ flew the nest and went off to university.
But the very moment I was left on my own, I cried. It felt as if I was looking into a big black hole where nothing had any real form or excitement, and certainly there were no feel-good Mummy factors.
In short, the overall anticipation I had was of walking through my day to day routine feeling as if I was minus a limb.
Murphy’s law of parenting states that just as our kids become decent, interesting, thoughtful human beings, then the time comes for them to fly from the nest. We look back on the endless cycles of nappies, tears, tantrums, sleepless nights, school runs, mealtimes and homework and wonder where it all went, and personally I wonder if I was paying enough attention, because the years fled by so fast.
And as much as I loved my brood with a passion I sometimes feel a small guilty twinge because if I’m honest a small part of me was always planning little escapes from my maternal duties, if only for a few minutes.
Then the day came when my babiest baby set off for university, and the house was empty except for me and He Himself and I felt completely at a loss, wandering around the house looking for reminders of her, and pulling the discarded clothes hanging in her cupboard close to my nose just to remember her sweet smell.
Top Comments
I loved your article, I can so relate. I have one abandoning me in early March, having bought a home with her partner. I am filled with pride and joy for them both. I know I am going to cry like a banshee. The other plans on leaving me around July, I will be inconsolable. However, I will have a clean house, things will be as I left them, we can eat curries, we will have more TV's than we will know what to do with. We will have ample parking, a new chapter, a new journey. xxx Rae
Hi Jo, this was a beautiful article to read and captures so well one of life's cycles. My girls are 12 and 9 and I have realised that the years are flying by and soon they will be in their adult years. I love spending time with them, and doing family stuff. My MIL says i should spend more attention and time on her son (she put her own husband in front of the kids). Although i appreciate that the relationship bw mum and dad is important, my kids benefit enormosly from the environment i create at home which means they are very close to their dad and make us all proud and happy as a result. Our marriage is stronger as a result which puts us in good stead for those empty nest yrs!
Hi Lovemybabies, thank you :) Yes, I think you're so right. The relationship you have with your hubby is of prime importance when the kids leave home, so it's sensible not to forget him in the chaos of the child rearing years.