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by REBECCA SPARROW

big bird 290x385 BEC: What does Big Bird have against breastfeeding? Come on...

Big Bird, as an ‘aves’, is apparently not a fan of breastfeeding. Probably because he hatched from an egg.

Sesame Street? I have a bone to pick with you which is frustrating because I’m a bit of a fan.

So there I was last week, sitting on my couch watching Sesame Street with Ava and Fin when a lovely little song comes on about babies. Babies!  We love babies in our house… which is lucky since I have one.

But at four-years-old, Ava in particular is something of  Mother Hen and loves nothing more than seeing pictures and videos of gurgling pudgy smoochalicious bubs. And saying “HELLOLITTLEBABY HELLOLITTLEBABY” about two centimetres from her baby  brother’s face. Like a stalker.

So. There we are, sitting together as we watch  images and clips of babies sleeping, crawling, mashing food into their mouths and smiling all pop up on the screen.  There are babies in prams. In cots. In their parent’s arms. And there are images of babies being bottle fed. And then the song finished and Super Grover came on and crashed into something yet again (dude, get some glasses).

But while Ava happily went back to colouring-in, I sat there dumbfounded.

Not once did they show an image – even a discreet one – of a baby being breastfed by its mother.

Ummm?

How do you do a video montage of babies being fed and not show a baby being breastfed? I mean, COME ON!

Let me be clear, Sesame Street is a show for which  I have great fondness. A show that has talked children through racism, a show that has gently broached the impact of September 11, a show that tackles poverty and cultural differences.   And a show that somewhere along the way decided that breastfeeding is ‘inappropriate’ to look at.

When did we all get so squeamish about breastfeeding?

When did Big Bird decide that breasts were ‘rude’?

Sometime in the 90s, apparently. Up until then, the show regularly featured breastfeeding mothers. In fact long-term cast member Sonia Manzano (Maria) breastfed her real-life baby daughter on the show. “She’s drinking milk from my breast,” Maria told the young children around her. And when asked by a small child if that’s the only way a baby can be fed, Maria answered:

“Oh no, sometimes I feed her this way and sometimes I feed her with a bottle … But you know, I like this way the best. It’s natural, it’s good for her and I get a chance to hug her some more.”

That was in 1988.

A decade later and boobs were banned.

I mean if you were going to ban anything on Sesame Street, you’d think it would be The Count because he’s, you know, REALLY, REALLY CREEPY.

Or Cookie Monster because…hello…obesity!

 BEC: What does Big Bird have against breastfeeding? Come on...

We are all very used to the sight of Miranda Kerr’s breasts…

But of course Sesame Street’s behaviour is but a microcosm of society.  Frankly, Sesame Street is just behaving the way everyone else is behaving. Somewhere along the way we all decided that breastfeeding was a bit rudey-nudey.

We decided that watching a mother get her norks out to feed a child made us squeamish. Whereas seeing enormous barely covered bazookas in TV, film, on magazine covers and websites was perfectly okay.  Sure we might roll our eyes at times and think “EXPLOITATION” but we don’t feel uncomfortable watching Miranda Kerr in the Victoria’s Secret Parade. But show a pic of Miranda breastfeeding her son (where she shows the exact same amount of breast or maybe even less) and suddenly we’re a bit twitchy.

Why?

miranda kerr mother1 BEC: What does Big Bird have against breastfeeding? Come on...

… But is it different when she’s breastfeeding?

In turn this leads to breastfeeding mothers – maybe just me -  feeling like they want to hide under a tablecloth whenever they breastfeed in public.

We fold ourselves up like origami trying not to be noticed. We sit in corners or toilets or back rooms. We cover ourselves in wraps and sheets and essentially try to make ourselves invisible so as Not. To. Offend.

As a mother who has also bottlefed one of my children, I know that bottlefeeding mothers can still feel a certain amount of judgement in public. But – in my experience at least – it’s not the same. There’s something about breastfeeding in public that can make you feel like you’re causing offense. Which is, of course, ridiculous.

breastfeeding1 BEC: What does Big Bird have against breastfeeding? Come on...

WARNING: this image features breastfeeding. Those of a sensitive nature may need to avert their gaze.

So I asked author, social commentator and UNICEF Australian Patron for Breastfeeding, Tara Moss what she thought the answer was to this on-going breastfeeding taboo.

“Visibility is acceptance. If we don’t see breastfeeding as a normal part of our everyday lives – in our families, our communities and our culture – if we don’t see it at all, we have little hope of raising our breastfeeding rates and encouraging more women to continue breastfeeding once life inevitably involves leaving the house with a hungry child.

“Over 90% of Australian mums want to and can breastfeed, yet statistics tell us that more than half quit before they chose to, largely due to external pressures and lack of support. Enough. Breastfeeding is natural, normal, free, and a legal right in this country. It’s time to take away the public breastfeeding taboo once and for all.”

Now those of you who know me, know that this post is not designed to spark a breast versus bottle debate.  Frankly, I don’t care how you choose to feed your baby. That’s your decision and as someone who has both breastfed and bottle fed my children, you will get no judgement from me.

But surely we can all agree that this stigma against breastfeeding needs to stop – especially on a kids’ TV show of all places. What message are we sending our kids about breastfeeding?   It’s time we stopped subtly telling women they should feel embarrassed to breastfeed and that what they’re doing is gross or offensive.

And as for Sesame Street? Well this post has been brought to you by the letter D. For Disappointed.

Do you think Sesame Street has gone soft? Would you like to see more representations of breastfeeding in the media? 

 

 

Comments

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189 Comments so far

  1. Emma

    Personally I have to say I found that breastfeeding photo of Miranda Kerr really offensive. Not because she was breastfeeding – go for it, I’ve seen so much more of your perky boobs elsewhere – but it was the careful crafting of that shot a day or so after she gave birth. Now, not only are we mums expected to lose our baby weight within 3 or 4 days of giving birth, we’re supposed to breast feed in red lipstick and our finest silk kimono 15 minutes after giving birth. Seriously woman, let me see a photo of puffy eyes, swollen ankles, stretch marks, anything…

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  2. Betty

    I’d really love to see Mamamia do an article on David Koch’s recent on-air comments about how breastfeeding mothers should “be more classy” and “cover up” in “high traffic areas” whilst breastfeeding in public.

    As far as I’m concerned, these kinds of comments broadcast across Australia by a man who’s opinion apparentloy holds a lot of sway with Australians, are doing nothing but send us backwards in this regard.

    Mamamia can you please do an article on this?

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    • N

      I am ALL for breast feeding but I believe it should be discrete.

      If I were to sit near the pool with my boobs on display I would be asked to cover up or leave.
      Why should it be any different for a woman breast feeding?

      Cover the boob not being used – that’s just plain decency.

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      • JC

        Um… i breastfed my 2 children until they were just over 1 year old and I can honestly say that at no stage was the non-feeding ‘boob’ on display. And in the 40 odd years of my life thus far, I have never ever seen a woman displaying her non-feeding ‘boob’ for all to see!!!
        Kinda makes me wonder who you have been watching breastfeeding…

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  3. Mel

    I find Sesame St a bit irritating but the one that is really teaching me to take a deep breath and let it go is Pororo. What is a penguin, found almost exclusively in the Southern Hemisphere doing with a polar bear, found only in the Arctic? And how is a crocodile able to function In subzero conditions? Let it go, Mel, let it go. Please don’t get me started on In the Night Garden and perspective.
    I don’t know how people managed with young kids before ABC2, or reasonably priced avocados. No idea…

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    • Nadine

      I’d love thread your perspective on The Night Garden.

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      • Mel

        Hi Nadine, it’s the fact that the NinkyNonk and PinkyPonk get smaller as they get closer, instead of bigger. Everyone can ride in the NN and PP, but at the end when they are all dancing around the carousel, the NN and PP are tiny in the foreground. Huh?

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  4. Cordelia

    Sesame Street recently had an episode on ABC4 Kids where a mother was breast feeding her infant and Big Bird was asking her questions about it. The mother was very discreet and certainly, no breast was shown (Heaven forbid some upper chest might be seen!) but it was great to see. As the breastfeeding mother of an almost 2.5yr old, Mothercraft Nurse and soon-to-be Lactation Consultant, it’s high time breast feeding is shown to be a normal, everyday activity, with no shame, embarrassment or harrassment from others who should learn to look away if they dislike the idea of any mother providing her child with nutrition and/or comfort.

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  5. Anonymous

    So Sesame Street was showing images of one way babies can be fed and in that particular segment, didn’t show the other way. Is it really such a big deal?

    I had loads of trouble breastfeeding my second baby and so even though she had bottles, her older sister (only 2 at the time) still knew that babies generally fed from their mums boobs. Or, they had a bottle, like her baby sister. I remember countless times of me giving the bub a bottle feed and my toddler pretending to either breastfeed for bottle feed her doll.

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  6. Helen

    I once imagined I would be ‘discrete’ feeding in public – never wore revealing clothes before, why start exposing myself now etc. I even bought the special cover. But it turned out my son hated it, it made us both hot, and no one else really seemed to care. I abandoned it after one ridiculous session at the airport, trying to get my aggro little baby to latch, trying to keep the cover on without strangling us both, trying to keep the rest of my top on, the luggage standing, the boarding pass in hand: I was almost in tears, he was screaming and I’m pretty sure it looked like I was trying to smuggle a monkey on board. Just not worth it, and after a bit if getting used to I didn’t think twice about just pulling down my top a bit to feed. People will complain about screaming babies too, so I figure sone people just prefer children not to exist till they’re eight. Pffft.

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  7. Lovely lady

    It’s a child show!! Personally it seems the fuss is more about what you want your child to be taught to believe Because thats what you believe and thats what you want her to do when she has a child. Take it from a woman who couldn’t breast feed at all bottle feeding is perfectly normal, perfectly healthy and there is nothing wrong with it. I find this article very offensive, I find a lot of woman who can breast feed seem to jump up and down every time a bottle is shown and not a boob. We as woman should be encouraging and supporting each other and we as woman should decide let’s promote feeding our baby simple as that regardless of how you do it or wether they get breast milk or formula. A full baby is a happy and healthy one and that is the most important thing not where the food comes from.

    To go off at sesame at is taking it a little too far.

    (Will be interesting if my post actually goes through this time)

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    • Nadine

      I agree.

      I read a comment recently (another site) :” I wouldn’t feed my cat formula.”

      Really supportive to the women who want to breastfeed but are unable to.

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  8. Liza

    My experience has been that different parts of Australia differ in their views to breastfeeding.

    I had my first bub in Brisbane and found women would regularly bf in public, often without using a cloth. If I fed my baby in a mothers room, then women would often sit out in the open space and have a chat. Very friendly.

    Second bub was born in Adelaide. Rarely saw women bf in public, and when they did, always covered by a shawl. In mothers rooms, women always went into cubicles behind a cloth. I think I shocked half of Adelaide with my Brisbane attitudes! Really missed the chatty mothers rooms too, especially as I felt so isolated in a new city at home with 2 kids.

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    • hellopetal

      I had the same experience in Brisbane. I’d always end up having a chat with the other mums & dads in the parent room to the point that when our daughter could talk she’d also enquire about the age of babies with their parents & want to have a chat too! It’s a shame that people weren’t as receptive to being social in Adelaide. New mums so need a chat with other adults!

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    • Mel

      Sorry to hear about your negative experience in Adel, Liza. I haven’t bf’ed in a mothers room in Adel (the smell from the nappy bins always puts me off) so usually find a quiet cafe and have never had any problems with people with that. I need a quiet spot because my daughter finds it hard to concentrate on feeding and is very easily distracted – so irritating! I bf’ed at the zoo and my mother noticed some older kids giggling at me, so that may reflect that bf’ing is considered taboo here, also suggests that I’m not that observant because I didn’t notice.

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  9. princesstan

    Sorry Bec, this time I am with SS. I don’t understand all the fuss…

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  10. Anonymous

    I work in ech and I am SOOO pro breastfeeding its not funny. I havent done it yet, but I just don’t understand why it can’t just be covered by a shawl or something. As a very conservative person, I would never bare my breast in public and wouldnt want my teenage daughters to think it was okay under any circumstance. Also I feel there are a few women who take their time and purposely shove it out there just to dare people to react. Ruins it for those people genuinely just focusing on their kid.

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    • Kris2040

      And here was me thinking I was just feeding my kid!

      What kind of shawl do you cover your head with when you eat?

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    • Bec

      Because, as you would know if you had breastfed, it can be tricky, making sure bub is attached correctly, making sure your milk is flowing, checking bub hasn’t fallen asleep at the breast- all things that are tricky if there is a shawl over your babies head. Plus, you know what, why should my baby have her meals with a shawl over her head. It’s hot and lonely under there! Would you eat your meals like that, or would you ever expect a bottle fed baby to have something over its head while feeding???!!!

      There is a big difference between ‘baring your breast in public’ for no reason, and popping out a boob to breastfeed. One is sexual, the other is not= it is feeding a baby!

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      • Nadine

        And there is a big difference discretely feeding a child (uncovered) with the breast not being used covered by clothing and feeding a baby with both breasts hanging out before you even set the baby up.

        Also, the is no need to patronize anonymous, just because she has not breastfeed -in my experience many women are able to cover up and feed a baby. If that is what she has seen then that is her view.

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      • Tanny

        I’m wondering if all the mums that are against using a blanket or shawl to cover up when feeding use a blanket over their pram while trying to get their babies to sleep in a pram……. My feeling is that majority do put a blanket over the pram. Isn’t that hot for the baby. Do you sleep with covers over your head? There are many different ideas out there. I think ppl are misunderstanding the whole cover up issue, do it discretely comments. For most breast feeding mothers they are doing it discretely but some women have a fair amount of boob out and sometimes they are out, fully out while mums change sides, burp babies, etc. I think this is what ppl find makes them uncomfortable. I would put money on the fact that many women would frown upon ppl that looked at them breast feeding for that little too long (whether it be out of curiosity or what ever) and get offended that ppl, especialy men, are looking at their breasts. So really you can’t win. We all have the right to feed out babies as we choose just like we can choose to dress how we want, however there is no need to do things just to prove a point to the world that you can and will. Chillax and be happy :)

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        • Lou

          Putting a shawl on a stroller is different to putting one on a baby, one touches baby and the other doesn’t. My baby didn’t like being covered by a shawl, wrap, blanket or sling. I could put a shawl on the stroller once he was asleep though.

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    • Lulu

      What if your baby hates being covered? This is such a stupid comment. A huge part of breast feeding is the eye to eye contact and touch between mum and baby. It is not just about getting a feed in. It is about bonding that has nothing to do with anyone else. You cannot be pro breast feeding whilst wondering why women dont cover up. This is why women feel they may be doing something wrong. I have breast fed everywhere.
      The most eye opening moment was when I sat next to a big burly bikie on a flight and asked whether he minded me breast feeding. He laughed and told me he had seen much worse than that!
      The ONLY comments I have ever received in public were both from women around 60 who went out of there way to congratulate me and tell me what a beautiful site it is to see a mum and baby so natural. This is sad in itself that they have seen it so rarely.
      Come on ladies, babies first, strangers opinions elsewhere!! The more it is seen the less odd it will be.

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      • Nadine

        Why not use your comment as a way to educate not to dishearten,

        No need to tell a person their comment is stupid – misguided yes, stupid no.

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        • Lulu

          Of course it is stupid. Do you know any toddlers who are happy to stand still in the park with a blanket on their head? Some babies may love the privacy others don’t. My son loathed it. He also never went into a sling because he hated being constrained. He also hated the car seat. I am a conservative person too but I have spent two years feeding in public without a cover so I fail to see the link between modesty and uncovered feeding. I am astounded that some people are unable to comprehend that some babies and mums have trouble or hate being covered. Some love it, good luck to both. Breastfeeding is legal so people need to accept it. I hate smokers but have never asked people to leave, I have left as I don’t like it. If you feel odd seeing a baby feed, don’t look. I couldn’t care less if someone uses a cover and feeds formula. i think all mums need a break and a hug and a reminder they are just as welcome in society as everyone else.

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    • Mel

      See Helen’s comment above. Some babies can’t stand to have their heads covered and will turn the whole thing into a nightmare! Been there…

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  11. Mum of 1

    Personally myself my bub has been breast and bottle fed as I had supply issues for the first 6 months then he switched bottle for solids and a cup and at 16 months is still breastfed, when he was little it was nothing for me to put him in a sling or similar and go shopping while he fed away! Or even now be sitting at a cafe or waiting room And why not.. People could see more breast in the tops I wore pre bub!! To be honest other than public toilets I can’t name anywhere I haven’t breastfed my son cause I have even breastfed him in Church!

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  12. Kris2040

    A quick google found this: http://www.care2.com/causes/update-a-response-from-sesame-street-on-breastfeeding.html

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  13. Anonymous

    Ugh. I’m sure there would’ve been an article written about this episode if it were the other way around – someone offended, thinking SStreet is judging non-breastfeeding mothers if they only showed breastfeeding and no bottles. Calm down!

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  14. JPop

    I’m commenting as a childless woman. I’ve been considering your disappointment all day, reading the comments through and enjoying the back and forth. While I understand where you’re coming from, I don’t agree with it. I think you’ve projected your feelings onto television, attaching meaning where none was intended. For a child to perceive an activity as other, the absence of breastfeeding won’t do the job. Children are socialised by media, yes, but moreso by family experiences. Many children, no doubt, have seen their mothers breast feed or bottle feed, asked questions and watched in fascination, as kids do. Adults seem to complicate these things with presumed negativity – Sesame Street isn’t showing a full montage of all feeding options…Nah, doesn’t even register as an issue. If parents are worried about misinformation, all they need to do is talk to their kids. Watch the show with them, talk about it after, keep it age appropriate. Sesame Street is not beholden to the mothers of the world, but the rules governing the American communications code.

    Which brings me to my next train of thought. A boob is a boob. I know, giving birth changes the context of those chest residents, but for your previous sexual life, they weren’t used to nurture another being, but occupied a spot of pleasurable distraction. There’s nothing wrong with this. Lambasting guys for being diverted by this sudden change of rules is unrealistic; nine or so months ago, they were active in foreplay and lingerie. We ourselves sexualise them; don’t be shocked if other people struggle with this disconnect.

    There are arguments on here that Western society has its perspective skewed; in the scheme of things, I think this is an over-reaction. A little more communication on both sides of the fence wouldn’t go astray and no, saying it’s natural/wonderful/there’s nothing wrong with pulling them out in public, what business is of yours anyway, isn’t helpful dialogue (neither is the incessant and juvenile demonisation of breast feeding women).

    When I’ve been told it isn’t acceptable to have my nipples on display for most of my life, why would I make the switch to public breastfeeding?
    Because a baby is latching and feeding? It’s a bit confusing, really. Breasts pre-pregnancy are natural. Breasts post-pregnancy are natural. But we don’t walk around half naked. Lactation is normal, so is eating, yet we don’t talk with our mouth full because our audience may find it confronting. Remember that before the judgement/outrage train arrives at the mothers’ platform.

    I’m all for breast feeding in public, personally. But if my time comes, I will do so discreetly and respect the sensibilities of my surroundings. Just my two cents.

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    • Chillax

      Like like like

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    • Kris2040

      I’ve breastfed in tons of places, including when I’ve gone to pick my daughter up from childcare, and she just won’t take “later” for an answer. The other kids are very often interested and will come up and have a look, and ask questions. Her cousins have been funny – they’ve said “I used to suck on Mummy’s boobies when I was little but I don’t anymore” or similar. They’ve all been totally cool with it, if a bit interested.

      I kind of understand your point about being told all your life to cover them up. I have really big boobs and Mum was concerned about people perving at me feeding in public, but I figure if they’re staring at me feeding my kid with my boobs, which is, after all, what they’re there to do, that’s better than staring at them (or even more delightful – TALKING TO MY CHEST) just because.

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      • JPop

        I think that’s lovely. It sounds healthy compared to relying on American children’s show to provide a holistic and breast sensitive montage. Kids are pretty open to subject matter and usually understand what’s going on. I love what the cousins said! Children are so honest.

        Ah, big boobs and mothers. Mum still lets me know if a top is too low cut while we’re visiting each other. Her definition of cleavage and my own are two entirely different things. But still, I have this sense of modesty ingrained that I probably won’t be able to kick. If I have a baby who hates being covered, I’ll hang out in the parents’ room and have a chat with another Mum (or Dad). Don’t you love when people talk to your chest? Not. My feelings may change, I acknowledge this, but as they stand, I pretty much see the clear picture from every vantage point.

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  15. Clare

    In my experience the cultural attitudes in the USA and Australia are worlds apart. I travelled to Washington DC with my three month old to attend a work conference in 2011. It was really hot, so he wanted to feed quite frequently. I was asked several times if I wouldn’t prefer to be somewhere else. I was also asked by hotel staff to please move to the toilets to feed him, rather than sit in an out of the way sofa with a colleague for a chat. I was stared at in public spaces (Arlington Cemetery, museums, cafes etc) constantly. I felt that if I was to live in that city and be constantly faced with that type of pressure I would have avoided feeding in public. So I do believe that it can influence behaviour.

    I think it a sensible suggestion that normalising breastfeeding, through having more women feed in public, having more breastfeeding on television, movies etc, will have a positive impact on women’s confidence in breastfeeding. As many of you have said, Sesame Street on it’s own won’t change anything, but in my experience these little things do make a difference.

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  16. Pip C

    Thanks Bec, great article. I was lucky in that in the hospital it all clicked straight away. The midwife commented that it seemed like I had done this before, I hadn’t, but I had four sisters who had breast fed 15 children between them (Irish Catholics!) and so the whole process was totally normalised and I never thought that I would need to bottle feed and I think I had subconciously taken on a lot of the ‘tricks’ to BF (posn, hold etc). I know I was very lucky in my experience but I do feel that having BF normalised within my family was a big contributor to my success! Bring on the BF montage I say! I was fortunate to be able to BF my son for 14 months, which I really did love, much to my surprise. The feelings that BF evoked were so unexpected and powerful and I think it would be a great thing if more women could experience that if they want to.
    BTW, loving the respectful and intelligent way the comments are coming on this post. Makes me love MM.

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  17. mum

    I breastfed both of my children in public when necessary and never had a negative reaction, nor was I provoking one. In fact, one lovely older lady of about 70 came up to me to congratulate me on breastfeeding my little girl in public. She said that she loved it that I felt able to do something that she would have loved to do when she was raising her babies in the 60s. Her comment lifted me up and gave me confidence as a new mum!

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  18. Forty cents

    I loved breastfeeding because it gave me the power of the TV remote control.

    I have 3 teenage step-sons and whenever they switched on Family Guy or Bear Grylls or something equally inane I just stretched, yawned and said “oh I think the baby is hungry” and started to lift my top.

    Bam – 30 seconds flat, I had a breast-feeding bub, peace, quiet, a room to myself and most importantly…the remote control.

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    • Anonymous

      This kind of bothers me :( I obviously have no idea how long the kids have been your step sons but you’re purposely making them uncomfortable, which really doesnt help the stigma and irk factor attached to breastfeeding in public.

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      • Kathy W

        I agree with this. Nice way to bring the ‘yuck’ factor to teenage boys .

        I have a 17 year old son and would prefer he was exposed to breastfeeding in a relaxed and normal way – not like this.

        How about you all find a program you all like and say to the boys ‘hey guys, it’s normal, natural part of life, just chill!’.

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      • distracted

        Meh. The war is never going to be won with teenage boys. No point trying … may as well enjoy the TV remote when it comes ;)

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      • Anonymous

        They are teenage boys!

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      • Alice

        I think it’s pretty understandable that teenage boys don’t want to see their step-mums boobs, for any reason!! (No offence 40 cents – it’s not you, it’s the relationship!) Yes they’re there for breast feeding, but that doesn’t mean we have to pretend to have amnesea about the fact they’re also sexualised.

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      • Jen

        Umm.. This is clearly supposed to be light hearted! Lighten up ladies..

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  19. Ruth

    Don’t worry Bec, they show breastfeeding mums on Playschool and everyone knows Playschool is heaps better than Sesame Street.

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  20. Guest

    seasme is an American show and there are strict rules on how much flesh can be shown and at what time. Don’t be disappointed in the show they would have been complying with American communications law.

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    • becsparrow

      Now that’s a really good point! I wonder if that comes into it? And yet what does that still say about what ‘the West’ finds offensive? Children are unable to see breastfeeding on TV. That’s a major concern. Again it sends the message that the act of breastfeeding is somehow offensive.

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      • Katie

        I’ve noticed on baby forums people from the US still tending to call breastfeeding ‘nursing’ & a huge proportion pump & bottle feed rather than directly breastfeed. I think there is still a bit of breast phobia in the US.

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        • Al

          I’d agree. I have a couple of American friends and got the feeling that while breastfeeding is encouraged, it’s definitely not at all acceptable in public (and this was California).

          The most ‘exposed’ place I found myself feeding one of my kids was at a cousin’s school rugby game – I was between about 4 fields and wasn’t going to haul myself 10 minutes away from the people I was with to feed my 6 month old in private – I’d spend more time walking to and from a ‘quiet place’ than feeding him. I figured I was helping to normalise breastfeeding for the next generation of dads. I got a few looks from mums, I think trying to work out if/how to tell me that there were some benches ‘just over there’ (I was balancing on the pram), but certainly all the boys looked in the other direction!

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          • Kris2040

            Yeah, I’m in a mothers’ group on Facebook and it’s largely Yanks – they rarely say breastfeeding, it’s always nursing, and they all talk about the best covers for doing it in public. I think some of them actually make them as little cottage industries. When you consider they never say “toilet” but “restroom” and even in a mothers’ group say Hoohaa instead of vagina, it doesn’t surprise me at all that it may well be a law that they can’t show breastfeeding on Sesame Street.

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            • Lacey

              I’m not American but I live right beside them, in Canada. I traveled through the US when my son was young and had no problems breastfeeding him; however, I’m sure it depends on what part of the US you travel to.

              Canadian’s also use ‘restroom,’ not toilet, to ask for the washroom in public places. It’s just considered more polite here. I don’t think the term ‘toilet’ would ever be used, some people might say ‘bathroom’ to strangers. However, with friends and family more casual terms like ‘the can’ are used more.

              Likewise, nursing is just a term we use in Canada. I also use breastfeeding. Nursing is used in more formal situations (sometimes), but I don’t think it’s because we are afraid of breasts! It’s just the way it is, I use both.

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            • Kris2040

              I don’t think it’s anything to do with being afraid, but I do find the over politeness hard work. You know, everyone goes to the toilet, it’s what you’re going to the “restroom” for, it’s not like you’re describing in detail what you’re going to produce or taking photos. It’s just a comment on different cultures.

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  21. Highcar

    I breastfed my two children and never had a problem in public but I was never taking much notice of anyone else’s reaction. God help anyone if they had tried anything! Yes, the anxiety is in your head and if someone has a problem, who cares? Really, people don’t approve because my son has long hair. I get stares if my toddler tantrums in public. There will always be people who don’t approve. You have to just get on with it. Btw Sesame street shouldn’t be taken as a representation of Australian society. I think on the whole people here are pretty accepting and I’m a bit surprised by some of the comments here. They don’t reflect the majority of attitudes I’ve encountered.

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  22. Valerie

    I can’t remember where I read it, but there was a fascinating article on some gorillas who had been reared in captivity and given birth in captivity. When their babies were born, they had no idea how to feed them. Eventually, the zookeepers got the bright idea to bring some breast feeding mothers in, who fed their babies in front if the gorillas a few times. The gorillas immediately put their babies to their breasts and fed them.

    It is this that highlights the importance of children and others seeing breast feeding as normal. I think it goes into the subconscious memory and one day will help girls to become successful breast feeders themselves. I’ve travelled a lot in developing nations and mothers there have no problem whipping out their breasts to feed babies anywhere. The breast feeding ratei is much higher, too. Normalising it is so important, for little girls as well as boys. I know there is no way I wouldn’t have fed successfully for so long without my very supportive husband. I was always pretty discrete, though, but it was clear what i was doing, I think.

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    • becsparrow

      Great comment, Valerie! Thanks for that. That’s really interesting about the gorillas. I’m like you and think that the subconscious messages we send our kids about what’s ‘normal’ is really important.

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      • Valerie

        I think what is interesting is that it is some kind of brain imprint thing? Maybe if our children saw more breast feeding in public it would be naturalised for them, and wouldn’t be an issue when they have children. Good for both boys and girls!

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    • Arlycarly

      So true. I once heard the analogy of dancing which I thought was great. How would we know how to dance if we had never seen another person dance?

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  23. Sarah

    If my boy (6.5 months) is hungry while I’m out, I’ll happily breast feed him. He doesn’t like being covered up and pulls off anything I put over his head. At first, I thought I should cover up, but as I got used to breastfeeding (he’s my first) I figured its everyone else’s problem.. I’ve even had to feed while doing groceries and I definitely got some disapproving looks, but also some encouraging looks. It’s such a natural thing and it needs to be more accepted..

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  24. Emma

    I wish younger children were told about breastfeeding more readily, so it’s not a big issue or a shock later on. I had to breastfeed my son in front of my six year old niece and she had no idea what was going on and stared at me wondering what the hell I was doing. She was asking questions and I didn’t know what or how much to tell her. I will be very open with my own children, but this little girl has a very sensitive father that I know would’ve hated me talking to his daughter about breasts.

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  25. oneofthesarahs

    I don’t feel embarrased by my breasts when feeding in public, but I don’t like to expose my stomach by lifting up a t-shirt, so I’ve gone to great lengths to have tops and dresses that can be pulled down so the stomach stays off view.
    I figure with the breasts that there’s a baby covering up the bits that are usually covered (once she’s attached) and the flashing is momentary, but the stomach would be on view the whole time.

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    • kateusedtobeinLondon

      I’m with YOU on the stomach thing – bugger the boobs. I saw something yesterday called the breastvest which would have been the answer to my problems – were I still in the breastfeeding world!

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    • Emstar

      High five sister!!

      I totally agree!!! I didn’t really care if people saw the top of my boob when I was breastfeeding, but I would have mortified if anyone saw my stretch mark covered stomach!!! I would cover my belly instead of my boob. I always tried to feed in parenting rooms at the shops, in relaxing chair and I could watch Telly!

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  26. JanelleC68

    Maybe Sesame Street is brought to you today by….. Nestle or some other formula company.

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  27. Phary

    Reading all the comments makes me wonder a bit… I’m not sure of the real reasons for the discomfort or supposed stigma with BF in public, but here’s my take…
    Perhaps, if you’re the kinda girl who is not self conscious and happy to, say, get naked in change rooms (without hiding under a towel to get changed) or wear a bikini (on the street without a cover up) then you’re not going to be too bothered about BF in public.
    But I for one am firmly in the cover-up camp – probably just because I’m a bit more modest in my normal dress and BF in public just feels a bit too exposed for my liking. I wouldn’t normally sit in a cafe with half of my torso bare, so I didn’t when I was BF either. I used a cover when I had to do it in a public place, or just went somewhere more private.
    I think people’s reactions say more about their personalities than they do about social mindset.

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    • Anonymous

      It’s funny how different people react differently, isn’t it? You see, I have always been someone who ‘covers up’ in the change room, and I have not worn a bikini since I was about 11 – pretty much as soon as I began to get little boobies, I began covering them up. I have not ever, and still do not, flash a lot of cleavage, and I know that I am considered fairly conservative by most of the people I know.
      But, when I had my babies, I breastfed wherever and whenever I had to – no cover, cloth or hiding for me. It was simple for me, breastfeeding was not about me, it was about my baby. I was not going to deprive my hungry baby for the extra 10/20/30 seconds it takes to get a cover in place, or the minutes required to go into a baby change room. I certainly did not walk around with my breast hanging out for the world to see, I just got on with job and didn’t give a seconds thought to anyone else.
      There were a number of times when people were surprised to realise I was feeding, as it usually just looked like I was holding my baby. There were some negative comments, and a few difficult experiences, but in my opinion it was more a reflection of those other people than anything to do with me.
      I think it is a shame that Sesame Street has taken this approach, but I’m not surprised.

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    • Solipsist

      Ha, I kept reading BF as standing for “boyfriend” I was so confused, talk about a comprehension fail!
      ;D

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  28. mickie

    I stopped breastfeeding our daughter in public when she was about 10 weeks old, the little madam was way too interested in what was going on around her even if she was hungry. Having my nipple pulled as she turned her head to see what was going on next to her hurt, even worse was when she would pull away (still attached) and laugh/smile/gurgle at the person sitting next to me.

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    • Some random

      This is exactly why my younger sister has given up breast feeding her duaghter in public- just too many distractions, and she now takes sanctuary in parents rooms. If you’re happy breast feeding in public then fine, but please don’t assume women like my sister are prudes or embarrassed about their boobs- it’s just the only way to ensure her kid gets a decent feed.

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  29. Jen

    Do people really get upset about breastfeeding anymore?

    I’ve fed 3 and never had anyone give me a dirty look or comment or anything.

    If in company, at someone’s house or out to dinner or something, I usually ask if anyone minds if I feed the baby… of course everyone says no and I discretely go about my business. I think it’s just good manners and shows everyone that you are considerate of them as well.

    I have however seen women feeding in shopping centres or restaurants that appear to be deliberately provocative – sitting their with their entire bare breast out while they slowly switch sides or something, all the while glaring around daring someone to say something… that’s not cool in my book.

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  30. MrsKate

    I have always had big breasts and decided to breastfeed my daughter. When she was first born, my mother said to me “I can understand that you feel self conscious, its like you’re flashing your whole body becuase your boobs are so big”. Well, thanks mum, I didn’t feel like that at all, but now I do. As a new mother sufffering some PND, it really made me feel embarassed about breasfeeding in public or around my family. I never did it, and always escaped to a room to feed privately. I regret that now, and wish I had enough confidence to say “screw you, I will feed my baby in front of other people”.

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    • Solipsist

      I’m sorry that you are going through that, it’s strange how one comment can stick in our head.
      I hope you have lots of support and are being kind to yourself, wishing you all the best xx

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  31. Bottle of juice is better apparently!

    The thing I thought was the most ridiculous baby feeding method shown on Sesame Street was a baby bottle of juice for an infant (one of the characters was babysitting, and this is what they were told to give the baby). I was gobsmacked. This was less that 5 years ago too. Sesame Street went right down in my books (not that I was ever a big fan. I think the show has always been overrated. Don’t even get me started on Elmo or that whiney Abby Cadabby).

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  32. Miss Finance

    I am a female, no kids and I admit I do find some breastfeeding a little… confronting sometimes (confronting is not quite the right word for it but I don’t know what is!)

    I am definitely not ‘offended’ by it, I don’t think it’s ‘gross’… I can’t quite put my finger on it though… I guess I’m partly just not used to seeing boobs so up close and out in public. I also find it… strange, I guess is the word …. to know that those breasts have actual fluid coming out of them on which another human is feeding… (yes I know it’s not really ‘strange’ but this doesn’t happen to MY breasts so it is strange for me).. I also feel a bit as though I’m witnessing something intensely personal and intimate (NOT in a sexual way) between a mother and her baby and feel like I’m intruding or something….

    I know it’s completely natural and healthy etc etc but if someone sitting at my table at lunch (for example) starts breastfeeding right in front of me then I do find myself a little confused about what to do… I start by trying really hard not to look but then think I’m making it too obvious and uncomfortable so I’ll purposely look but try to be cool and do it nonchalantly and then I feel it’s too fake or pervy or something so I’ll look away again… I usually just end up making an excuse to go to the bathroom for a few minutes or get my phone out and pretend to be engrossed in that.

    I am trying really hard not to be offensive here… I definitely don’t think mums should have to go to any lengths at all to accommodate me either… I’m just trying to offer an insight into why some people might appear to have a problem with it or seem relieved if you decide to cover up (and possibly why someone at Sesame Street may have decided it was easier to not include it in their ‘babies montage’)

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    • hellopetal

      I understand completely, Miss Finance. It is strange when you’ve not done it before. It’s oddly fascinating because while a completely natural act, it is also an act of intimacy & need. The baby needs to be fed, the mother provides the nourishment. And there’s a connection going on that is beyond meeting the physical need.

      I had a love hate relationship with breastfeeding initially. I was uncomfortable every time I did it, sitting on my stitches, sore arms, shoulders etc but I was determined to feed our daughter this way. The only modelling I had was from having seen my sister breastfeed her child four years before & she was a new mum at that stage who used to just whack a boob out of her boob-tube top & feed away. I found it hard to know if the baby was attaching correctly & it hurt. I later discovered that my letdown felt like pins & needles & I got used to it.

      I found feeding in public strange at first. I preferred feeding in parent rooms until I was more proficient at attaching & removing our daughter & doing up my bra again. I rarely used covers unless it was for the temperature comfort of myself & baby, muslins or a wrap where necessary. Once I could feed well, I did it wherever we were. I once breastfed on Christmas Day discreetly on a lounge in a hotel. I never had anyone directly say anything to me re: feeding our daughter nor felt any judgement. I did occasionally feel uncomfortable but usually due to whether I was having a good or bad day as I had PND to contend with too. In fact, for me, breastfeeding became something that I could do well & it helped foster a closer bond to our baby than I initially had.

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    • Emma W

      I definitely understand this point of view. Before breastfeeding my son, if I was out somewhere and my eyes unintentionally landed on a woman breastfeeding her child, I would immediately feel awkward because I didn’t want the mother to think I was staring, but I didn’t want to look away too quickly because I didn’t want anyone to think I was disgusted by it or had a problem. It is a very intimate experience. Now having fed my son out in public many times, I have no issue with doing it and I don’t give a second thought to anyone else that might look over at us.

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    • becsparrow

      Hey Miss Finance

      Thanks for being so honest. Your comment is really important and it all adds to the discussion.

      Bec x

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      • hellopetal

        Bec, I replied to Miss Finance around 2pm Qld time, no swearing, no links, nothing offensive. This is about the third comment of mine to go into the ether since New Year. Any chance of finding it please? Many thanks in advance.

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        • becsparrow

          Hellopetal
          I’m just feeding the kids — give me 30 mins and I’ll go looking for it.

          At any given time our spam folder has 5000 comments in it and what happens is that normal comments sometimes get trapped in there too (by accident). So I’ll dive in and go searching for it, in about 30 mins. Stay tuned!!

          I promise we’re not deliberately deleting your comments.

          xxxx

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          • hellopetal

            Thanks for finding my comment, Bec. It’s frustrating when they disappear. I have taken to pasting them into draft emails that never get sent so I can re-post easily if they are irretrievable. With a four year old I don’t have the time & space to re-write an eloquent reply.

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  33. bemused

    This post was hilarious. I laughed so hard. Thanks for the humor!

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  34. Stephanie

    I breastfed both my children in public and did away with discreet shawls etc very early on (for the most part). Mainly because they were a complete pain in the bottom and I couldn’t look at my babies properly when I was feeding them – the shawls were always falling off I figured people saw more of me when I was scrambling to hold it up. I also have small breasts so there wasn’t much to look at anyway!
    If anyone had a problem with it they never said – I must look pretty bolshie and they got scared off from criticising me! Its a shame because I had a few smart alec retorts to throw at them that I never got to use.

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    • Zepgirl

      Don’t you hate that?! When you’ve got an awesome response to a future rude remark and you never get to use it? Damn those polite people, damn them all to hell :)

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  35. Lacey

    I finished weaning my son three days ago. For 13 months while I breastfed him, I never had anyone say anything rude to me while I did it in public; however, I did do it behind a cloth and in a far corner/ table away from other people most of the time. Breastfeeding is a tricky thing, and so are the emotions that come with it. I was uncomfortable doing it around men in public, especially ones my age (I would still do it, though). I felt better if my husband was present. However, strangely enough one day we had a gathering with about 20 friends, half of them men who I have known for years and I could NOT breastfeeding around them, even with the cover up. I’m still trying to figure out if it was because I was afraid of judgement, or because I didn’t want them to view me sexually? However, bf is not a sexual thing!

    We’ve got to continue to break ground with this whole ‘stigma’, maybe with the next baby I will lose the cloth ;)

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  36. Amanda

    There is a point in time where you do have to retreat to somewhere quiet. My little man got to the point where everything, absolutely EVERYTHING, was interesting and wouldn’t stay latched on. Feeding took forever! Sometimes you don’t have the time to indulge them.

    But yeah I got my boobies out at a skate park full of teenaged boys when my partner was riding there (he is not a teenager! And it was to the side a bit – not like in the bottom of the bowl). Viva la boobies!

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  37. projectfail

    I am 21 and breastfeed at uni – not hidden away in a toilet, but out on the comfy couches in the middle of the main area. After struggling with wraps and trying to keep it discreet, I thought, ‘stuff it – why should I have to hide it away?!’. I figured it’s actually a great place to do it. And if I inspired one person to feel more comfortable about breastfeeding it was totally worth it (actually it was totally worth it just for the comfort factor :D ).

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    • Kris2040

      I had to take my daughter to lectures, I used to feed her in them. She was a lot smaller then though, and it kept her quiet!

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  38. Sam

    Ok, so I’m not answering Bec’s questions exactly but I do have a comment to make as a non-breastfeeding, childless woman. I was sitting in a lecture hall at Uni last year and a fellow student (who had recently had a baby) decided to bring the 6 month old child into the lecture with her. Unlucky for me they ended up sitting next to me. 10 mins into the lecture she started breastfeeding the baby. Right there in the room, 30cm away from me. It was a 3 hour lecture and she spent the whole time trying to settle the baby and get it to latch on. When it finally did it was the noisiest eater EVER. I had no idea they could be so loud. Needless to say I did not hear a word the lecturer said and was totally distracted the whole time. She left after 60 mins when she realised the whole room was looking at her and her fussy bub. I did feel for her being stuck in that situation but far out, it was annoying. I think there’s a time and a place for everything. Breastfeeding in a full university hall is probably not one of them.

    Relating to the article, I do think Sesame Street could make an effort to discuss the topic of breastfeeding more… but what tv shows broadcast is dependent on the networks rules, not what the mothers say is right or wrong. Worth considering that instead of criticising the producers of the show.

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    • Jess2

      Why didn’t you just move seats? Imagine how hard it is to continue to study and take a baby with you. I am surprised by this attitude in a place of ” higher learning”.

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    • Anonymous

      Oh heaven forbid she should feed 30cm away from you! You poor poppet, are you ok?
      I found the 18 year olds who talked the whole way through lectures annoying, what you’ve described wouldn’t bother me in the least. The poor woman, imagine how she must have felt being pretty much run out by everyone staring at her…

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      • Miss Finance

        I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be annoyed if you can’t hear what your lecturer is saying.

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        • Anonymous

          Oh please! Breastfeeding is not that noisy that you can’t hear people talking. I’m calling BS on this. And yes, I’ve breastfed 4, and never once had to say, “excuse me, could you repeat that, I can’t hear!” She was obviously annoyed and peeved about it and was focusing on the Breastfeeding not the lecturer like she should of been.

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    • LellaK

      Im not going to jump all over you, because I don’t disagree – I’m all for breastfeeding in public but sometimes some places probably aren’t the most appropriate or easiest. If the child was fussing and not latching etc in a lecture full of people trying to learn going out to settle the child would have probably been better then returning. And for what its worth, at my uni, if you were chatty, disruptive or generally being a pain you were asked to go, so it was pretty fair for everyone.

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    • Bec

      I can understand how that would be distracting.
      I wonder why she bothered going to the lecture at all, if she was concentrating on trying to get her baby to latch on surely she wouldn’t have taken anything in. Much like the people around her.

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      • Kris2040

        Well it sounds like she didn’t realise that it would be a hassle getting bub to feed, so she thought she’d give it a whirl. I have pages of notes I took while breastfeeding. It’s not an all consuming thing. And she did leave because of it.

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    • Jen

      Forget the feeding, why is the baby there in the first place??

      When did taking your children along become part of accepted practice at University?

      I hate this attitude some parents have that they should be able to take your kids everywhere. There are some places kids don’t belong and a lecture is definitely one of them!

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      • Emma

        Lol, I agree. The main problem here is that there was a baby in a University lecture, not that said baby was being fed.

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      • Michelle

        Yeah, I agree – there are some places that it is not appropriate to take your kids, and I would say a Uni lecture would be fairly high on that list.

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        • Solipsist

          It would be easy to judge the mother as selfish, however at uni we had a new mum in our class (the unit was actually child abuse). She had literally given birth in the week or so before uni, she didn’t have any other options, and she desperately didn’t want to give up her studies.
          I applaud her efforts, it was spectacular. She would sit at the front so if the baby would cry she could leave the room. By the end of the unit we would all give the baby a cuddle if the mum was giving a presentation. It was pretty inspiring but also heart breaking to look into a baby’s eyes as we studied the most hideous suffering of children.
          From the sounds of it, that incident was a one off, you”ve got no idea what made that lady bring her baby to uni that day, better to come from a position of kindness than judgement. Maybe you could have offered to mind her bags while she went outside instead of sitting their resenting her?

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          • Anonymous

            Most unis offer external subjects which have a couple of on campus days. I highly doubt she didnt havea choice.

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            • Kris2040

              They do, but it’s up to the discretion of the lecturer whether they’re recorded or not – people just don’t bother coming, so a few of our subjects weren’t recorded, meaning we HAD to go to the lectures.

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        • Kris2040

          It’s not ideal, but sometimes you just have to. I never “expected to be able to take my kid everywhere”, there’s a huge difference between a toddler (as my daughter is now) and a baby who is generally either in their pram or feeding, and that’s all they do. I wouldn’t take her now, unless it was dire, but when she was smaller, I took her when I had to (which was often because of the paucity of childcare). No way to study externally, lectures weren’t recorded. And she was a lot quieter than the others chatting, showing each other stuff on their phones/ipads/laptops, fidgeting…

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    • Pinto

      I’d be making a complaint that there were children in a lecture – seriously?!! – however it’s been a while since being at uni what are the current policies around this at uni?

      Why is it so offensive to people with children to understand there should be no kids at work or a studying environment – unless of course your work is with children or it’s a parenting class or relevant to have a child there.

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      • Kris2040

        I took my daughter to uni with me when I didn’t have childcare. If she cried I fed her, and she’d be quiet. If she wasn’t interested in feeding, I’d take her outside. When she wasn’t so mobile, it was OK.
        But, trust me, it’s really not fun. You’re spending most of the time worrying about distracting others. I don’t really care if someone gets offended by me feeding my kid, I really don’t. But sometimes it just needs to be done.
        As others said, I’d rather the sound of a little kid or baby who doesn’t get that they need to be quiet than alleged adults who should and do know better, who still don’t shut up.

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        • Pinto

          Kris2040 I knew it would be you giving the reasons for this and I appreciate you didn’t do it in a snarky way.

          It’s good you recognised people are listening/studying and you leave the room but it’s still your (or a parents for the sake of example) responsibility that you have a child. I sitll think at Uni/school/work it is totally inappropriate & disruptive.

          As for the annoying rude adult example well they can be told off & kicked out with good reason.

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          • Kris2040

            You know what though, I’m just doing my best to get my degree like everyone else. Lecture theatres are big places. If I’m there with a baby, sit on the other side. Don’t sit next to me and then complain about it. Same as I don’t sit near people who never shut up.
            I actually had the blessing of the academic staff (course co-ordinator) to take her along if I needed to, and her reasoning was “How are they going to go as teachers if they can’t handle having a little kid around?”. You’re a grown up, you can move, or focus. Like I said, it’s not something I did for fun, it was because I had to wait on spots to be available for childcare. I wasn’t taking her to lectures then playing loud games of peek-a-boo or whatever with her. If she was disruptive, we left.

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    • A-nonny-nonny

      People are surprised that there might be a child in a university lecture? I’m a senior lecturer at a university and whilst I haven’t ever breasted my children in a lecture (I finished breast feeding on maternity leave before au returned to work) I have had occasions when I’ve taken one of my children into a lecture. Not really by choice, but when a child is sick I have the choice of cancelling and rescheduling the lecture (which no-one ever likes) or taking my child to the lecture with me. They usually play happily in a corner with an iPod or a book, or watching a DVD with headphones. I’ve never had a student complain, and most tell me that they are so glad that I didn’t cancel the lecture. I’ve even had compliments from my students on how well the children had behaved and how cute they are.

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      • Kris2040

        My friend brought her son to our tute yesterday, a Scooby Doo dvd and headphones, and he was happy. He has ADD too, and was perfect – for a two hour tute, he was better behaved than some of the “adults”.

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        • A-nonny-nonny

          Yes, quiet children in a lecture or tute are really a very minor distraction for others. The biggest distractions in lectures and tutes (for other students and for me as the lecturer as well) are NOT students who bring along a child, or who might breast feed a baby – it’s the students who incessantly talk amongst themselves! They are the selfish ones distracting others who want to learn. As some others have pointed out, lectures (not tunes) are generally recorded but I would never recommend that someone listen to the lectures as a substitute for attending – they’re meant to be a secondary resource in someone wants to listen again to clarify something they’ve missed or not quite understood. Kris – all the best to you for your studies.

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          • Kris2040

            I just think, you know, ease up on people who have to take their kids to uni, whether it’s for a semester or a couple of lectures in the course of the degree. The vast majority are doing it because there is simply no other option available. If they find it distracting, how distracted do you think the parent finds it? It took me a year and a half to get a spot at our uni’s daycare centre for two days a week. All last year I juggled listening to lectures, getting her to one Occasional Care Centre or the other, which mostly worked, and trying to get co-ordinators to cut me some slack with tute times so that I was able to attend, as occasional care is only open till 4, so I’d need to finish in time to go and get her.
            So yeah, you know, those people bringing their kids are probably stressed out enough as it is. Give them a break. If the kids are little terrors, fine, complain. But a Mum breastfeeding a baby? No.

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            • Jen

              I’m sorry Kris but it is not everyone else’s place to have to make allowances for other peoples children.

              I went to uni as a single mum, and it was bloody tough. I did the daycare/babysitter juggle. One night a week my poor baby had to go home with one of her day care carers until 9.30 at night when my lectures finished, so I do understand.

              But it was my choice to have her and my choice to enrol in uni while she was still so young.

              There were 5 other women that I got to know during my first year who all had small children. What happens if we all started bringing our children along?

              Everyone pays a lot of money for a degree these days and as such they should be provided with a quiet, distraction free learning environment. To me that means no chatty 18 year olds, no children (of students or lecturers) and no annoying mobile phones.

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            • Kris2040

              Yes it is hard, and as I said, it is generally a last resort. I still don’t see how someone sitting in a corner breastfeeding a baby is SO distracting. Concentrate on the lecture!
              All this discussion has been about breastfeeding – and it has been clarified that it is small babies who have been taken to uni, or kids big enough to sit and watch a dvd.
              And you’re right, it is expensive. I know that because I PAY THE SAME FEES AS EVERYONE ELSE.
              You’re the grown up, move seats.

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          • Jen

            Kris you’ve been told that it is distracting for others to have kids there. You don’t need to “see how others find it distracting”, we don’t need to convince you of the worth of our opinion or justify why we are distracted, you just need to accept that bringing children into a lecture or tutorial (regardless of age, feeding preferences or amount of noise they produce)is distracting to some of your fellow students.

            What you choose to do with that info is up to you.

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            • Kris2040

              And they’re not the only distraction in a lecture theatre either. The girl in front of you in the too tight top, the guy watching youtube videos in the seat in front and giggling. There are heaps of distractions.
              As I have pointed out, I don’t take my daughter to uni, and haven’t since it was absolutely necessary (lectures weren’t recorded, no childcare). If you can’t find another seat in a lecture theatre that seats 250 people because it is SUCH a distraction, you’re lying.

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    • Anonymous

      Considering most unis record and post lectures online, i find her actions pretty selfish. As someone who suffers from ADHD, this would be really stressful for me during lectures.. As are all distractions in lecture halls.. People with learning impairments need to be considered.

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      • Kris2040

        If you find distractions in lectures so stressful, perhaps you should avail yourself of the recorded lectures that you keep recommending to everyone else.

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        • Anonymous

          I do, but due to the nature of my degree, i have quite a few prac and compulsory lectures (and not im not talking about tutorials)

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          • Kris2040

            Much like I do. Hence sometimes having to take my daughter to uni with me.

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            • Anonymous

              External students dont have to go to the prac or compulsory lectures, as they have one day where they do all of their prac/tute work. If I could do external, I would, but due to a personal disability I cannot.

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            • Kris2040

              So I guess you get some kind of Reasonable Adjustment and allowances made? Why can’t you extend that to those of us who may have to take our babies to uni on occasion?

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    • distracted

      I am staring down the barrel of this next semester. I’ve had older kids in the classroom with me and been completely not bothered – they were good kids and only needed a couple of reminders to watch the DVD and be quiet.

      Not sure how I’ll go with a baby in the classroom. I’m anticipating that yes, breastfeeding noises will be distracting. They aren’t part of the normal classroom background noises. I think that yes, baby cries will be distracting, and somebody getting up from the back of the room (usual seat) and going out the door at the front when it starts wailing will also be really distracting. Then coming back in, rocking prams, talking to bubs, etc.

      Just to be clear, I have no problem with people bringing babies/kids into class as one-offs if childcare falls through or if they’re sick.

      People have the option to defer rather than planning to take a baby to every class. I am generally a pretty tolerant person but I really think that if you choose to get pregnant while studying, the more considerate choice would be to put off your own studies for a semester rather than distract everybody else in the class, for every class.

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      • Kris2040

        I don’t know anyone (myself included) that expects to be able to take kids to every class with them. I dropped a subject in first semester because it was just too much and I couldn’t get care.
        Not one of my lecturers or tutors had an issue with me having her there, because they knew that it wasn’t the permanent plan, and that I was very conscious of keeping her amused and quiet.
        In lectures and tutes, I’d always make sure I set myself up at the easiest exit point with the pram, and could leg it with as little disruption as possible if we needed to. Maybe you could suggest the best spot for the new Mum to sit?

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        • distracted

          Mmm … unfortunately I know someone who expects to be able to!

          Will give the seat suggestion a try as a first line, although the woman involved is a deliberate rebel in all sorts of ways and doesn’t always take kindly to any sort of advice :( Worth a shot though.

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        • Anonymous

          Cant respond to your other comment “So I guess you get some kind of Reasonable Adjustment and allowances made? Why can’t you extend that to those of us who may have to take our babies to uni on occasion?”

          But no, I get zero adjustments or allowances.

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          • Kris2040

            But, you demand that people take learning disabilities into account, yet aren’t taking into account that people taking their kids isn’t usually a choice because they want to hang out with their kids. Bit of give and take, hey?

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            • Anonymous

              People dont choose to have disabilities.. You chose to have a kid.

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            • Kris2040

              I did, but Anonymous is demanding that everyone thinks of those with learning disabilities first. Why can the same courtesy not be extended to someone who spends the whole time doing their best to make sure their baby doesn’t annoy people too much?

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  39. Kat

    I’m with you all the way, Bec, I am disappointed in Sesame Street and think what they portray about babies and feeding does matter. Even though Sesame Street deny that they have banned breastfeeding, it is clear that they have removed all references to it which were previously there, and replaced them with bottle feeding images. I think a proportion of the population are squeamish about breastfeeding, and there may also be more squeamish/prudish attitudes in the USA compared to here.

    Personally I breastfed all three of my children whenever I needed too, often in public, even in work meetings! I never felt embarrassed and I neither expected nor received any negativity from others. It helped me that I kept company with other women who would do the same. I find it a bit baffling to believe that people could get genuinely upset about seeing a small amount of breast while a baby feeds, compared to what we see any time we go to a beach or pool.

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  40. Mylifeinuggboots

    Having successfully breastfed two beautiful children, I only ever had one or two mild reactions (dirty looks and the like) from strangers when I fed in public. I always just thought of these people as being ignorant or prudish and went about my business, believing the best way to change their attitude was to continue feeding as though it was the most natural thing in the world, which of course it is.

    However, I had an experience some months ago where, having happily fed my 6 month old son in the food court over lunch with his brother and dad, I popped into the parent’s room to change his nappy. In there, each behind a curtain, sat two young mums feeding their babies well away from the eyes of the general public. Full of pheromones and the joys of breastfeeding, I decided to ask these ladies why they weren’t out feeding in the food court as I just had. I asked them if they had had bad experiences, I tried to encourage them not to be nervous and suggested that until we all went out there and fed, people who knew no better would never see it as the natural, beautiful event that it is, Both ladies were lovely and neither took (the slightly over-eager) me the wrong way. But their responses were the same. They were embarrassed. They felt ashamed. They knew they were doing right by their baby but they didn’t want their breasts ogled by any dude that may happen to be walking by hoping to catch a glimpse. They would rather just keep the whole thing discrete because they didn’t want to be sexualised and objectified.

    I can understand this attitude but it makes me sad. It means only one thing. Society, with its focus on sex, porn, sex, porn etc etc views breasts only as sexual.Breasts were designed to feed. They also have a role to play in sex but their main function is nourishing a child. When breasts are feeding a baby they are not sexual, but even young women doing the feeding do not necessarily feel this way.

    I have spoken to women who have chosen not to even try breastfeeding because they don’t want a baby sucking their breast, a part of their anatomy they consider to be for the sexual enjoyment of their male partner and therefore not appropriate for a baby to touch. Western culture has it’s prioirities all upside down and until we start realising it’s okay to use our bodies for the purpose for which it was designed by nature, only then will the public stigma related to public breatfeeding start to fade.

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    • becsparrow

      How interesting! Thanks for this comment.

      So do you think the embarrassment is just in our heads? Or do you think other people do have negative reactions to breastfeeding?

      I must admit, I haven’t had anyone say anything to me. So then why do I feel the need to hide away? I’m not sure … it’s interesting.

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      • neola

        Some male perspective:

        I had this conversation with my partner recently, when he casually commented that when the baby comes I might want to get some ‘cover-up’ cloths. I had a bit of a gentle go at him and said that it’s nothing to hide, perfectly natural, etc etc.

        His response: Absolutely agree, but the reason he feels uncomfortable when women do it in front of him without covering their chest is because it’s difficult to look away and he doesn’t ever want to be misinterpreted as ‘perving’. He then told me about when he went to do a work consultation at a woman’s house and she answered the door feeding. It threw him off his ‘work spiel’ and he found it hard to concentrate. I guess there’s a natural curiosity when you’ve never done it yourself, and even as a woman, sometimes I find it hard not to sneak a glance myself.

        I’m not saying that it’s ok, I wish he didn’t feel this way, but he’s being honest and it’s valid. I hope that as he becomes a father it will change. And I think by doing it in public myself, I can contribute to ‘normalising’ it.

        Maybe if it were shown on TV more, we’d all find it easier and less of a curiosity.

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        • Krys

          well, the real question is why does he want to look. I love watching babies nurse ( i extended BF both my kids). There is nothing wrong with looking. If he is ogling her breasts like he would a Victoria secret model,well then shame on him, but if he is looking because he is interested in the baby and how he is feeding that is great!

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          • Alice

            Krys, I’m a straight woman, but even I can’t help but look when there’s a naked breast in front of me! Not because I want the chance to tuck something away in the wank bank, but because we very rarely see breasts in public, and almost always see them in a sexual context. So to have one unexpectedly appear in front of you in the course of your day (especially a work consultation) is going to throw you off for a second, and you’re going to look. I totally hear where Neola’s husband is coming from, and I don’t think he’s being pervy at all – I think it’s an inevitable/natural consequence of our sexualised culture. Good on him for being honest.

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          • Kris2040

            I don’t mind if people watch me feed. Like I said in another comment, I’m fairly used to having people stare at/comment on my boobs anyway. At least if they’re staring/commenting whilst breastfeeding, it’s because they’re doing what they’re there to do.

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        • wilfred

          Hmmmm, I’m starting to wonder now about the people who have knocked on my door and I answered while I was feeding. lol

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      • Mylifeinuggboots

        Bec, I can only comment based on my own experiences, and I could write a book speculating on all this, but yes, to a certain extent I do think some of the anxiety relating to public breastfeeding is in our own heads.

        Any anxieties I had about feeding in public (which were much greater with my first bub, I was as relaxed as all get out with number two) stemmed mainly from my own concern that people would think I was making an exhibition of myself and also from the attitudes of my own family and people close to me (comments like “maybe you should feed in the car, you don’t want to make Pa feel uncomfortable” or “just put a muslin over yourself, you don’t want people looking at your nipples” had more of an impact on me than anything a stranger ever said or did).

        I have also come across women (an old family friend and my sister in law) who flat out to refused to even and try to breastfeed because they thought it was (and I quote) “disgusting”. Having spoken at length to both of them they each wanted to avoid the feeling that they would be engaging in a sexual act with their baby.

        I found this point of view really shocking but when I couple it with my encounter with the young mums in the parent’s room, I don’t think it’s all that uncommon. Many women, and their male partners, define themselves sexually by their breasts and until society learns to separate breastfeeding breasts from sexual breasts, the problem will continue.

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  41. Antoinette

    This is totally unrelated.. but when I was 5 I had a MASSIVE crush on big bird.

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    • Zepgirl

      Tell us, Antoinette, where did you see that going?! Not that I can talk, I had a massive crush on Tintin…

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      • Anonymous

        Ok, if we’re playing this game… I had a massive crush on Captain Planet. Actually, I still do.

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    • Bec

      I was an Alladin girl myself…

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  42. wilfred

    I have often been tut tutted for breast feeding. Been asked to move somewhere that might be “more comfortable” for me. Until society realises that breasts produce milk to feed babies, that they aren’t there just to be ogled at we are never going to see breast feeding as normal.

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  43. Leah

    Im 23 weeks pregnant at the moment, and my theory is that if I can breastfeed and my little one is hungry, I’m going to feed her! It’s not my problem if other people are offended.

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  44. Kait

    I was watching the lifestyle channel on foxtel over the Christmas break and they showed a clip of someone interviewing all these celebrities on the red carpet and they blurred out all the women’s cleavages!

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  45. Jean

    Obviously you haven’t watched Sesame Street for very long as Maria and Buffy both breastfeed their babies on the show. Look it up on YouTube!

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    • becsparrow

      Yes! But that was in the 70s and 80s. They also used to show breastfeeding in their babies video. But that stopped in the 90s.

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    • Jen

      Obviously, you didn’t read the article.

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  46. Mum of 3

    I don’t feel this piece seeks to make people feel bad because they don’t want to breastfeed in public, nor is it trying to insight outrage. It’s simply pointing out that if breastfeeding is normalised from a young age (like eating fruit salad ‘yummy yummy’ and being kind to each other and all those other great messages we see in kids programming) that can only be a good thing. I have breastfed three children, all when the need arose in public (cafes, at friends’ homes, even in the supermarket while walking around). I’ve always been very discreet (often people thought my baby was just asleep) and felt there was a high level of acceptance of breastfeeding. One day i was shocked to find out a dear friend of mine (also a mother of 3) was dreading my attendance at a party she was throwing because i might have breastfed my then 2 year old while there. She would have been humiliated in front of her other friends. I have since had another child and am far more self conscious about feeding in certain situations. My other children don’t bat an eyelid when I’m breastfeeding (often less discreetly at home) and nor do most of my friends’ children. I hope they’ll never find breastfeeding mothers odd or uncomfortable to be around. But when my kids have school friends over, I’m a little less confident about openly feeding because I don’t know if it would offend their parents. I feel I shouldn’t worry about that, but I do. Perhaps if Sesame Street and then the shows our kids watch as they grow up had more breastfeeding mums it would become a completely normal part of life and in a decade or two’s time there would be no need to write a great piece like the one Bec has written.

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    • molly

      I find your friend’s comment really interesting. I wonder if she would have been embarrassed if you had given a two year old a bottle? Or a dummy?

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  47. Zasha

    I’m breast feeding at the moment and unless absolutely necessary I will not retreat to a mums room behind a curtain to do it. I sit out in the food court, am discreet but still show glimpses here and there I am sure. My attitude is if you don’t want to see it, don’t look

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    • Bex

      That was always my way of thinking also.
      If you dont like it – look away!
      The only time I ever used a ‘cover-cloth’ in public was when I was with my mother.
      She is quite elderly and from a different generation, and wasnt comfortable with me feeding in a cafe, in public.
      Sometimes you have to compromise…

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  48. cazmoney

    Who ARE these people getting offended by breastfeeding in public?

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    • Pinto

      The offended ones I don’t get it is totally necessary/appropriate etc..

      However I’m still in the ‘ick’ group where I really don’t like seeing/hearing it – I think because it’s not even remotely part of my life – ie no children, very few friends with children and live far away from cousins that are now ‘doing the baby thing’ so I have no time to spend with them to get over my being uncomfortable.

      Don’t get me wrong never ever ever would I make a mother feel uncomfortable and will always fully support a mothers right to BF wherever/whenever.

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  49. Alice

    I’m all for breast feeding, and doing it in public. However, as someone without kids, I do find it strange when I’m at a work lunch with a fellow lawyer who I’ve never even pictured naked, and suddenly I’m staring at her naked breast and nipple. I know it’s for the purpose of feeding her baby, but of course it jars.

    We’re used to breasts being private, so suddenly seeing a work collegues’ (in public and without warning) is always going to feel strange. Absolutely go for breast feeding in public if you want to, but I think it’s only natural that people might not know where to look if they’re not used to it. (The problem is easily avoided with a blanket or something to cover the boob)

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    • Cathy

      Easily avoided with a blanket? Not if you have a baby who yanks it off… like mine does! And often it’s too hot!

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      • Jess

        That’s totally fine – just don’t get annoyed if people glance.

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  50. Michelle

    Maybe it’s because I’m not a breast-feeding mother (or a mother in general) but I’m pretty sure there are bigger things to be disappointed about than lack of breastfeeding on a kid’s tv show. Not sure a 4 year old is going to notice, really. I would have thought they would have exposure from younger siblings / family members being breastfed anyway.

    As for breastfeeding in public – do it, don’t do it, I don’t care. A bit of discretion probably doesn’t hurt but whatever.

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