by KATE HUNTER
Honestly? I don’t know what’s so hard about restricting kids’ internet use.
I’m sure it gets tougher in upper grades of high school because kids might have, you know, jobs. But until then, in my opinion, she who holds the purse wields the power. You can jot that down if you like.
Clearly, not everyone agrees, because there’s a lot of hand-wringing about the amount of time kids are spending online. This, from news.com.au:
ONE in five Aussie kids spend so much time surfing the internet that they miss out on meals and sleep, a study shows.
Edith Cowan University researchers have revealed that “excessive internet use” is twice as common in Australian children as British kids.
A fifth of the Australian children surveyed said they had “gone without eating or sleeping because of the internet”.
More than half confessed they waste so much time online that they “have spent less time than I should have” with family, friends or doing homework.
Sixty per cent said they had caught themselves surfing when they were “not really interested”.
And half “felt bothered” when they could not get online.
Our family isn’t Amish. My son and daughter (11 and 9) write blogs and prefer to watch You Tube than TV. We have our quota of iDevices, but if anyone’s addicted to the internet it’s me. But I’ve got no problem saying, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ I need the internet for work. Also, I like to fart arse around on Twitter and Facebook, but that’s my prerogative because I’m an adult and I pay the broadband bill.
Yes, the kids need to be online for homework, but when that’s done, you – the parent, the one in charge – can turn it off. Then on again if rooms are tidy and someone’s given you a shoulder rub. My friend Margie changes their Wi-Fi password at 9pm each night and only gives the new one to the kids when their jobs are done the next day. In her house, online access is a privilege, not a right. Amen to that sista.
What are the online access rules at your place?
Comments
42 Comments so far
If you do the daily password reset, please remember that it is pretty simple to Google something along the lines of “I forgot my wireless password” and follow the instructions. Useful for you if you forget the password yourself, but also easy for a computer-savvy teenager to follow.
loading...
That wifi password tip is genius – saving that for the future
loading...
Yes!
Kate, every time I read something of yours, I find myself nodding and sometimes fist-pumping the air
loading...
“I like to fart arse around on Twitter and Facebook”- best quote ever! That is so what I do!
loading...
I have a 3 year old & already it’s hard to restrict his time on the iPad! For those with older children who say ‘no Facebook’ etc I fear that you risk your children going behind your back & the kids that had to go behind their parents’ backs on things in the old days when I was growing up were always the ones that got up to a lot worse than those that could be upfront with their parents. Not saying you shouldn’t be sensible but you just can’t control everything…
loading...
I get that my window of control is small, but while it remains open I shall use it
loading...
never mind the kids – my husband keeps threatening to unplug the router as I stay up too late mucking about on FB, twitter etc and then complain the next day that I’m tired!
loading...
I love that idea of your friend Margie with changing the password every night at 9pm. Awesomeness. Will tuck that idea away for when my two are older…
loading...
Change the password?
loading...
I am always very interested as a teacher how much parents think the computer is used for homework. I teach at secondary level and I rarely if ever ask the students to use the Internet for homework. If I do it is for 15 minutes maximum, the Internet does not need to be used at all times and most teachers do not require it. I use laptops in the classroom and have done so effectively. My year 9s no longer use books and I find they are more engaged by utilizing the technologies that are available to us. I agree with all the above in regards to setting very strict boundaries in regards to Internet usage. An another great one is all mobiles turned off and handed in before bed to be recharged by Mum and Dad.
loading...
we had no problems with our kids when they were in primary school. They had little interest in the computer apart from that penguin site. The computer was in an open area and we strictly limited the time that they were allowed on it but most of the time they were outside playing or doing sport or scouts anyway.
Fast forward to teenage years and its a different story.
Daughter now has her own laptop (took 4 years for her to be allowed one)
Facebook is a major part of her social life
So is Twitter
To us her internet usage is excessive but speaking to other parents – it seems the norm.
Any suggestions on how to reduce internet usage for older teenagers?
loading...
Make her pay for it…
loading...
bit of a rave here sorry
Things have certainly changed: when my kids were high school age I gave them so much screen time a week, they chose how much commodore 64/ tv they watched or saved the time up for a big show. But then I didn’t have to contend with the internet. Oh sure we had pay net services and the kids had to use a timer for how long they were allowed on it.
My grandchildren whinge that their parents are mean since they make them have the computers in one room and one of the parents constantly walks through the room, and the parents are savy enough to look at the taskbar.
One daughter unplugged the router when she went to bed, internet gone.
Then as a computer teacher for 20 years I think many people wrongly think that technology is more important than anything else. I was against laptops in classrooms, and I feel I have been proven correct. You think you have to be vigilante at home, try teaching in a classroom of the laptops faced away from you?
The good kids might mostly have them there, but it deteriorates from there down. It is difficult to stop the students constantly using various sites while you are trying to teach, even if you make it a net lesson you have to be very vigilante. I am reporting many teachers comments as they ask me how I deal with it.
I am lucky the computer room is set up with the student’s backs to me, so I can always see what is on the screen.
My recommendations for home: you are in charge, check the taskbar to see where they have been and what is running in the background, have the computer near you ( maybe a table in sight of the kitchen), tell them anything they put on social media should also be able to be announced at the school assembly. That is high school, Primary, you just turn it off, I don’t care if they half way through a game, time is up!!!!
loading...
I cannot see the point of the Government issued Year 9 laptops. My daughter tells me that they are barely used in class for schoolwork but are often used in class for facebook fights etc. Yes, the sites are meant to be blocked but most of her classmates have worked a way around blocked sites.
loading...
I’m a teacher and these laptops are a nightmare!
loading...
Oh please, welcome to the future!
loading...
I do not get why so many teachers whinge about the Laptops. I am a teacher and I love them. No more tryig to get your class into the comuter room & contending with them being half broken. No mroe trying to rent a set and find out they’ve been stuffed up… LOVE them.
I can see how they would be a problem for teachers who are not doing their job properly. Yes they face the students but what on earth are you doing sitting at the front of the room, get off your but & walk around. TEACH!! for the love of God.
You should spend most of your lesson walking around talking to the kids about the task, assisting the students… then the kidlets won’t be on the wrong site because they won’t know when you might be behind them.
Repercussions, caught on the wrong site, lap top confiscated, text book given….
Not rocket science….
I loe them, I hope they never get rid of them. For Science you won’t get any more up to date info from a book than online!
loading...
Kids – 11,9 & 6. All have iPods.
I was concerned about them surfing the net unsupervised.
So:
Safari, Facebook and Twitter disabled on iPods. Can only surf net and YouTube on Computer under supervision.
No iPods until jobs done.
None after 7.30pm – confiscated for 48 hours if found using.
No Messaging during the week.
Do they like it? Nope. Tough titties, Kids!!
loading...
This makes no sense to me. Why do kids have computers in their rooms? Our son has his school laptop which gets left downstairs when he goes to bed. We also control his internet access by blocking him on the router.
loading...
Ohh to be back when they were little….Controlling internet use in households with older children and adults is much more difficult. Text books are left at school while homework is done with access codes for websites; surfing the web is the first point of reference for finding information for homework and then there are the pressures of social media, keeping up with the latest music, youtube vids etc. when older kids are in and out at sport training and games, music lessons, etc, time for homework may be later than for younger siblings. Younger kids may be off to bed just as older kids start homework or adult students or parents catching up on work are needing to be back on line. I bet someone thought that changing the password each day does’t show any trust in your kids. I am not so naive these days. Like reading in bed under torch light, there’s a thrill to think you’re getting away with it. Add a phone to the kid’s arsenal and you’re soon having to insist that all electronic communication devices are left in open view of a common area in the house after 8 pm, or whenever. And having to nag for compliance or judge whether the phone really was left in the school locker. I can tell you that laptop bags filled with books look like the laptop is out. Ipods in phone covers look like the phone is out. Seemingly huge text allowences on phone plans can be exceeded. Being their friend on facebook does not mean you see everything your kid posts and even after they are 13 and old enough for a fb account, many kids have no idea about what’s not appropriate to post or can see the consequences of their online activities. And I could go on about that, too, believe me.
loading...
we have an internet router that works off the home phone – so i just pull the plug out and put it away where my two boys cannot find it – they are used to that now . Schools do use the computers so much , i dont like it either but what can we do ?
loading...
This…
loading...
Love It!…wondering if this will work for 7 yr olds…lol
loading...
That is a fab idea! So doing that. I love it, my kids will dislike you!
loading...
Umm, yeah, definitely agree here. There is far too much tail wagging the dog going on in households around the world. Perhaps it’s easier for us because our kids are still primary school aged, but they know homework comes first, then they can play. And when we say ‘dinner is on the table’ the computer goes off (well, not really, but you know what I mean) and they come to the table and eat dinner. The same with TV. It really is that simple. And no computers in bedrooms – we have two computers in the house (a desktop and an old laptop that only gets used when two kids are doing homework at the same time) and they both live in the lounge room. Same with the only TV we have in the house. And if it is the weekend and the TV / computer has been in use for play for a couple of hours they get told to switch off and do something else. No groaning allowed (although they do try to groan but it doesn’t get them anywhere). And the kids do what they are told because that is the rules. Simple, really, it is!
loading...
Kate I love your sentiment and I agree in theory it should be easy right! But with our primary school about to deliver 60% of Yr 5 classroom content and all homework via parent purchased iPads I am not sure how I limit screen time! I am not happy about the school plans but there is nothing I can do short of pulling my child out … So they will be overloaded (in my opinion) at school with screen time and then at home now currently screentime is a privilege but with it becoming a compulsory component for their schooling how can I make parenting choices that will then have classroom consequences? Now I would say if you haven’t done homework and jobs etc there is no screen time but if the homework is delivered via the screen how can I say that?
My issue is that they are actually going to get significantly more screentime via school than they get now! How can I use screentime as a reward when it is actually an expectation.
What tools for discipline are actually left to us as parents (very few) and I am not saying we don’t have screens in our house we have plenty and I am not a wowser by any sense, like you I really feel kids need time out and our kids do only one after school activity (plus swimming = life skill) so I don’t allow much zombie time (aka screen time) but we are being told by schools that if we don’t allow it they will be let behind!
I actually disagree with schools because I grew up in a time when there were no computers at home, then we had commodore 64s and then finally the internet (and my home computer at that time had less processing power and memory than my current iphone!) and I haven’t been left behind I am tech savvy work online with a myriad of cloud solutions. I really feel that as a society we need to stop selling our kids the fairytale that if they are tech savvy that is a guaranteed job …
Sorry my little rant about my frustration of how will I limit screen time!
loading...
Hey Cath – I feel your frustration with homework being done on the computer. Not so much because I’m concerned about screentime as such but because it is harder to monitor how much homework they are doing unless you are looking over their shoulder. My daughter is in year 3 this year and all of their homework is internet based. Gone are the days when she sat at the table and completed a worksheet that I could check on between housework tasks. Now if I’m not watching her do it online, I cannot accurately say what she has done.
loading...
Thanks Carmen that is one of my many many frustrations with the homework! I seriously wonder if we went back to old style books, pens & paper would our kids really be worse off? I am not sold they would!
loading...
And the irony is (if you live in Victoria, anyway) that when they get to year 11 and 12 virtually all assessments (except IT subjects, obviously) are HAND-WRITTEN. The national curriculum is really going to need to address this anomaly.
loading...
Yes! My son’s handwriting is appalling- but that said, he gets bugger-all practice, as his school has a policy of doing ALL work on their (compulsory) laptops, and all essays and prac reports, etc. handed in must be typed and printed out. He simply never writes anything any more, and we’re in Vic- I have no idea at all how he’ll suddenly be able to legibly write 2 and 3 hour exam papers
loading...
It gets worse in university as well. After taking all of my notes during the semester on my laptop because I can type faster than I can write, I walk out of a three hour exam after hand writing 3 essays with shaking hands, worried that my handwriting is illegible. Surely it can’t be that hard to organise some way of writing exams using technology?
loading...
I don’t use my laptop for notes. If you do more writing, it will improve.
loading...
I know, my daughter is in Year 8 this year, and they all got school laptops at the beginning of the year. We have strict rules about computers, she doesn’t have Facebook, and she’s not allowed to use the laptop in her bedroom, but even when she’s doing homework, emails pop up, or someone’s online on Skype, so she’s constantly distracted. It’s also harder to check the homework. I quite often ask her if I can look at something only to find she’s already emailed it to the teacher (she’s not good at checking or editing her work). And don’t even get me started on corrupted files or blue screens!!
loading...
If she obeys you by not having Facebook, can you not tell her not to log in to skype etc?
loading...
Yep, Kris I do, but because they have little pop up boxes that say xyz is on Skype or an email pop up box appears, she finds it really hard to resist the urge to check. If she knows I’m ‘shoulder surfing’ she’ll ask if she can quickly go on. I guess what I’m saying is its not as cut and dried as just pulling the plug or changing the password when they’re doing homework, and let’s face it, it’s hard to resist the urge to ‘quickly’ check something as adults – Mamamia, I’m looking at you – when we’re supposed to be doing something else!
loading...
Tala – with skype just change the settings it sounds like you have it set to log on when the computer starts up automatically.
If you change that then there should be an issue unless she chooses to log on..
loading...
I wonder if the Department of Education will provide funds down the track for glasses or laser vision correction owing to all the inevitable damage caused by compulsory near-focus screen use?
loading...
Hi Cath
I agree with you. My son has been using an ipad at school this year (year5) and it seems like he gets to use it all the time. He’s reasonably well behaved and often gets “rewards” of having free time on his ipad. I just feel like he’d be better off reading as a reward. They all listen to music too and have their headphones on a lot. I don’t want to sound like an old fashioned fogey, but I don’t like that my child’s screen time has been taken out of my control at such a young age.
loading...
“you – the parent, the one in charge – can turn it off”
Could not have said it better myself. This applies to all things really. I think alot of parents are forgetting who’s in charge! Bit of tough love is a good thing!
loading...
Agree. I keep telling my kids that a family is not a democracy!
loading...
Subject I’m doing over summer at uni started yesterday – child development and stuff. Anyway, we’re talking about conditioning, and different methods – take something desirable away, punishment, etc.
One of the guys pipes up and asks “How do we lead by example in the classroom for behaviour when we are doing the stuff that we’re telling the kids they can’t?” He was thinking along the lines of teacher up the front and talking, everyone else listening type stuff, and how do you get around the “But why is it OK for you do to it?” type questions. I said “Well, there is a reason for a rule like that, but you know what? Sometimes the rule is there because it is and you follow it and suck it up and deal”. Most people were incredulous but I figure you put up with rules and stuff you don’t like all the time as a grown up, kids need to learn that they’re not going to like all the rules all the time and they will just need to learn to work within them.
loading...
My children are in grade 1, prep and the little fella is 3 and only goes to kindy 2 days a week. It’s a completely different kettle of fish at this stage because they don’t have the same requirement to be online for homework and aren’t on Facebook. We have one ipad in the family, 2 iPhones and 2 computers. I noticed I was becoming a bit too relaxed with screen time especially when it came to handing over my iPhone for the youngest to play on, so I started a new rule at the beginning of this year. No screens at all on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. The first few weeks took a little getting use to but now they know the drill and happily swim, ride bikes or play in the yard after homework. I am the most relaxed onThursdays nights with letting them watch tv because we’re getting tired and ready for the weekend.
On The weekend I let them play on the ipad whenever they warn but of course they have to share. I’m dreading the teenage years.
loading...