Shankari
Before you get alarmed, I am referring to a section of our DVD cupboard that the children are not allowed to watch.
I can tell I’ve alarmed you again. I am simply referring to a range of children’s DVDs that the children are not allowed to watch yet.
There is a debate raging in our household and Harry Potter is at the centre of the maelstrom. My 4 year old nephew has been allowed to watch the Harry Potter movies 1, 2 and 3, but my older children (aged 7 and 8) are not allowed to watch the third movie yet.
When I was a child, my parents firmly believed that what we watched on television or at the movies, would be internalised and would influence our emotional development.
It’s not a revolutionary or new theory and at the time I found the parental restrictions frustrating and often embarrassing. I think prohibiting me from watching Dirty Dancing at the cinema with my friends quickly demoted me from Nerd to Super Nerd and I have never really recovered socially.
But now I find myself worried about my children’s young minds (and I fear I am becoming just like my parents).
I love the Harry Potter books and the movies but I don’t think my children are ready for all of them. From Book 3 onwards, the books and the films become darker and sadder.
My 7 year old son is an avid reader. He’s reading Book 2 at the moment and whilst he might be able to “read” the later books I’m not entirely sure he will be able to understand them. Each child is different, I get that. As for the HP films, I feel there’s something more intrusive and frighteningly memorable about cinema. The children are young and if I don’t regulate them, they will be able to watch the films faster and earlier than they will read the books.
Sometimes I feel like parenthood has turned me into a neurotic, anti-freedom of expression fascist. I have been known to fast-forward the first chapter of Finding Nemo. I just don’t think it’s necessary for our younger children (aged 2 and 3) to see a barracuda shark take out Coral and her hundreds of babies. It’s deep sea carnage and I prefer to start the film 5 minutes later.
I find myself wondering why there is so much parental abandonment going on in everything from Disney to Diego (watch it carefully people). And why is there a proliferation of hypnotic American preteen sit-coms with preteens who don’t look preteen enough to me? Someone needs to make Alice Miranda into a TV series.
I could be completely wrong and suffocatingly over-protective. I am torn. I want to challenge the children to read brilliant literature and enjoy film and popular culture. I just want to pace their exposure to all of these things, which is hard when their friends and cousins have cooler parents than they do. Does any one know if Amazon does a Famous Five DVD boxset?
Shankari Chandran is a recent returner after ten years in London. Formerly a social justice lawyer, Shankari chronicles the day-to-day of her family’s return on her blog.
Comments
70 Comments so far
Skipping Nemo????? Seriously, I think we need to think less and enjoy watching shows with our children more. I am not talking about a family Tarantino night but E.T, yes it has sad and scary bits but what a friendship!! If you hide everything you miss out one some of the great movies. Never ending story, some scary bits but what you learn about the power of imagination!! I think that each child is different but don’t let them miss out on some of the great messages that movies have, even the ones with death and darkness.
loading...
Hi Shankari mami…can you please buy me the Harry Potter Number 5 movie….i watched number 4 last night!!!
from your loving nephew!!!!
loading...
Shankari, yet again I love your work. I’m with you – from memory the second Harry Potter movie scared me, and I think I was about 30 at the time. I say hold your position.
But now you have me questioning poor little Diego. Is he ok? I don’t know too much about him, but he has always seemed so together…
Please keep your articles coming – I’m always super excited to read them – thank you!
loading...
Thank you PK! I too thought Diego had it together, plus I just love the theme song, there is something about the whole show that makes me want to become an animal rescuer. It was my best friend who pointed it out to me – Diego (rest assured, still well adjusted) is helping animals who have all lost or been abandoned by their mothers. Every mission is about the quest to reunite families. Seriously, as if children don’t have enough to worry about…Go Diego Go! Thank you again for reading. x
loading...
What I find really challenging is how to explain to the kids that this movie is not for kids when their friends have seen it….. And I see my 7 year old all the more curious because I’m saying he can’t see it…..???? Loved the piece Shankari….. You always manage to crack me up….. And on that note , the other day Aahanya starts telling me how Lady Gaga wears false eye lashes n colored lenses which she saw at her friends’ place…… A 4 year old knows who Lady Gaga is???!!!!
loading...
Every fairy tale involves the death of a parent (usually mother) and/or abandonment. Its integral to most childhood tales. Having said that, I’m all for fluffy bunnies and Toy Story. Mostly because I get upset!
PS – I think you’ll find the Famous Five suffered from a disturbing lack of parental supervision…
loading...
Everything in its own time, and at the right time
You’re certainly doing better than the parents who walked out of a screening of ‘Magic Mike’ with their 8yr old daughter and 12yr old son. Family movie? I don’t think so!
And to balance out my “Judgy McJudgement” persona…
While my hubby was deeply enthralled in a rather violent and gory zombie annihilation game on the iPad, he was completely unaware of the wide-eyed pair of 7yr old eyes, lurking over his shoulder. When he finally noticed, he shut the game off and the little one says, in a most sincere tone: “Dad… that was inappropriate.” LOL
loading...
I remember watching Nightmare on Elm Street at a friend’s house when I was 5. I thought it was hilarious. I watched a lot of M rated films when I was growing up. I don’t think they affected me negatively. I knew they were “pretend”.
I’m not sure shielding children from everything is the healthiest thing for them…
The writer’s children haven’t even seen fish in a cartoon die? It’s going to be shocking and unbearable when the family pet dies. Or far worse, a family member. Unfortunately, that is life.
loading...
I saw IT when I was little. It was being watched by some teenagers that were visiting and Mum kept trying to keep me away from the TV but I still caught enough of it. Yikes! Was terrified of the bathroom, drains for years. And I still cannot stand clowns.
loading...
Glad I wasn’t the only mum to fast forward the beginning of Finding Nemo!
loading...
I did too!
loading...
My 11 year old had seen all the Harry Potter movies up to number 5 when he was 6. He has now seen the rest of them as they came out. Going to see a HP movie was a family event! Now he has just seen The Dark Knight Rises and all the other Batman films as he adores his super heroes. He reads up on them in books, magazines and online and has a healthy appreciation for it. He has always been like that.
He has no interest in my style of horror film (Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Paranormal Activity). It has never even been an issue he just never showed any interest. He has seen all the Alien films though – which I don’t particularly like. I don’t think it is about being a good or bad parent. Each parent knows their child and knows what is appropriate for them. As long as there is conversation, the family is involved and the child is aware of the make believe I think it is an indiviual choice as to what you allow your kids to watch
loading...
I do have limits though. We love our fantasy/sci-fi in our household and my son is allowed to watch a lot of things, Dr Who being his favourite. He keeps asking me though when I will let him watch True Blood or Game of Thrones and I have told him “Not any time soon”
loading...
yes…but there are somethings that kids should not watch.
loading...
I am having dilemmas over Hansel and Gretel… my daughter loves the picture of the gingerbread house, but how can I tell her the parents tried to leave the kids in the forest TWICE then a witch locked Hansel in a cage. She is only 3. I am dreading the Harry Potter dilemma when it arises, but once they have read the books we will be in a better position to decide.
When I was in about grade 6 I happened to see something on TV about a real abandoned hospital (or hotel?) somewhere where the sounds of balls bouncing and kids crying could still be heard. I was soooo scared I had to sleep in mum and dad’s bed for ages, and I still get very scared if I have to stay in an old house. I’m 35 now! Wish I had never, ever seen that.
loading...
I saw about 2 seconds of American Werewolf in London, that my much older cousins were watching. From there cue years of werewolf phobia and even now I’m a bit thingy about going into a dark room.
loading...
every kid’s movie deals with parental abandonment bc it’s every child’s biggest fear, so it always gets their emotional attention.
The most violent and most popular and enduring stories are fairy tales (the original stories- less so the saccharine Disney ones). They are popular bc they taps into children’s emotional journeys. They admit to children that the world is violent and often unfair, and kids, who already know this intuitively, get to explore and digest those concepts in a symbolic way.
“Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”
― G.K. Chesterton
“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” ― Albert Einstein
loading...
I love your reply. I would never let my children watch a gory movie & shelter them from the nightly news but they have traditional fairy tales read to them everynight.
Kids have their questions & I feel that they can then relate their questions to a story – something that’s safe – rather than have these nameless fears that they can’t express. Plus I love fairy tales!
loading...
Fairy tales today though are badly fluffed up versions of the real originals!!
loading...
I have a book of fairy tales that is akin to the originals – where even the children get eaten in the end and Cinderella is called “Cinder-slut”. Hilarious.
The idea of fairy tales is to curb children’s bad behaviour; don’t wonder off from your parents, don’t break into other people’s houses, don’t steal.
The fluffier these stories get, the less children learn from them.
loading...
cinderslut???
If the glass slipper fits….
loading...
I feel like I was sheltered from certain things at a young age, but really, not matter what my mum decided, I found myself watching and playing ‘violent’ video games. I remember when I was around ten or eleven, and my mum wouldn’t let me watch the excorcist…Watching it now I can understand why, but at the same time, I played Grand Theft Auto. A video game in which I was running people over (with birds eye view of a bloody corpse) and pedestrians were calling me an asshole and other names. My own younger brother was using the C word (not in front of my parents of course) and yet I was prevented from watching certain things and hearing certain things from my parents.
What I am basically getting at, is that no matter how parents try to contain what their children see, there is always things that are going to be things that they DO see. Things they see and hear, be at school from friends and other kids, or movies and games parents THINK are ok. You just don’t know easy it is, especially in this technologically advanced word, to be exposed to terrible things.
You can try and stop them from watching PG movies (finding nemo? come on..) but there are many ways for them to discover the things you don’t think they’re ‘ready for.’
loading...
As a parent, I realise that you can’t shelter your kids from absolutely everything, especially as they get older. But when you were playing Grand Theft Auto, you knew it was wrong, didn’t you? Because of what your parents had taught you. And your younger brother using the “C” word, but not in front of your parents – he knew that was wrong too. I’m sure your parents weren’t niaive enough to know that you were never exposed to that kind of thing, but if they were to say, “Here, go ahead, play this violent video game”, or to turn a blind eye to your swearing, then they would be saying that it’s okay…
loading...
Going off on a little tangent, but I had a six year old come to our house with his Mum for a party and he took a look at my hubby’s Playstation games. He then raced up to me and asked if I could put on Grand Theft Auto (the one where you get extra points for running down prostitutes!) for him to play. I said no first, then after he said that he ‘plays it all the time at home,’ I said he’d need to ask his Mum and she shrugged, then nodded and said, ‘ok, so I’m a bad mum…’ I didn’t know quite what to say… Six!!
I’ve always been easily freaked out by visuals – I can happily read the most revolting things but give me a movie or tv program and it all becomes a little too real… The worst one was ‘Return To Oz’ with the different heads – it’s only PG but I know that’s one I’ll never watch again – with kids or without!!!
loading...
The “Wheelers” were scary too. haha
loading...
I am a bad parent, well not bad but I let my kids watch & read lots of things that others may not. I love scary movies not gore scary, but mystery makes you jump scary and both my kids started watching them around about 10, they’re now 19 & 22. You see they begged and I gave in, but there was one rule, you have to watch it to the end, as your imagination will be worse then what the ending in the movie would be. So we’d sit all 4 on the big lounge including my husband, blanket and cushions to shield our faces, plus I’m a screamer and this has led them on a path to every scary movie ever made. We still have those movie nights, although they won’t take me out to watch a scary movie as again I’m a screamer.
We would always discuss the movie, and I’m talking even Halloween, I know what you did last summer, etc. I also let them watch movies with sex in them as long as there was a storyline, and death, and the circle of life & we watch a lot of indie movies that are sometimes dark & have no happy ending.
And what I have found is that each child (boy & girl) took something different from each movie, no nightmares, lots of talking though, and conversation about any subject has always flowed freely in our home. Did we do the right thing, who knows, neither is a serial killer, or prone to violence, so let’s hope so. And both are in committed relationships and were open, honest and asked lots of questions when they were ready to have sex.
I think as parents we can sometimes worry too much, and what we might perceive as something that’s going to scare them or scar them for life they won’t see it with our adult opinionated eyes. I’m always surprised when I think “Oh my goodness that was really scary” and they’ll go “oh no what about this bit”, which is much more a plot line to the story.
I never looked at ratings, I just knew my kids. But that won’t work for everyone, and if other kids are watching them, they’ll tell them all about it & we know how bad 2nd hand information can sometimes be
loading...
I fully agree, my children are 33 and 28 and no they havent been affected. BUT i think the big thing was you talking over the movie with them and watching it with them.
We also used to discuss just how would they do that? The boys feel I wrecked a movie sometimes because the kept imagining the actor doing whatever in front of a crew
loading...
Same same! You’ve said everything I wanted to say. Plus my kids have had the fortune of being around movie sets and theatres and have no trouble recognizing the process in the finished product.
But at the end of the day it’s about communication between you all as a family.
But every parent knows their own kids and what they’ll cope with so I don’t judge those that are stricter than me.
loading...
My parents had no rules whatsoever about what we watched on tv. No videos or cd,s in those days. I can remember watching horror movies at a very young age. The only thing that gave me nightmares were the documentaries on the nazi deathcamps. That’s the type of thing I kept my young children away from.
loading...
Someone said in a PD session I went to once, that once a child sees something, they can’t ‘unsee’ it. That really resounded with me and although I did screen what they watched before, I do so very much now. Reading is different, it’s not visual.
The news does not get watched in our house. Ever. It’s such a skewed version of the world ‘death, death, shooting, stabbing, war…etc’ I just don’t see the purpose in exposing them to it. My kids are currently 11, 8 and 7.
My 11yo has watched all the Harry Potter’s though, as I think she’s now old enough to realise that it’s entertainment, the younger two have watched the first 3 and that’s it, but they get too scared so I won’t let them watch any more, and I don’t think they’re that interested actually, they certainly haven’t pushed anyway.
I say stick to your guns, what’s the rush? You’ll be the worst mother in the world no matter what…aren’t we all?!
loading...
Yeap, I hear ya Shankari. I can totally relate to what you’re saying and how you’re feeling. Great post!
I agonise over what my 3.5 year old son can and can’t watch. And I still don’t understand what affects him and what doesn’t. Like my (very stupid) husband let him watch Jurassic Park when I wasn’t home one day (apparently the pester power of a 3 year old was too much) and I seriously thought it would have absolutely terrified my 3.5 year old, but I was so wrong – he absolutely LOVED it and it’s now his all time favourite DVD. He has now seen all 3 Jurassic Park movies and loves them all!!! At age 3.5! Crazy! But what I don’t get is he’s not at all frightened by those great, big, huge, roaring monster dinosaurs, eating everything in sight while the humans run screaming, but he’ll cower behind the couch during the ghost scene in a particular ‘Shaun the Sheep’ episode. And the toy monkey in Toy Story 3 absolutely terrifies him – he was so scared and so upset at the monkey that he thew the DVD in the bin. Go figure?!?!?!?
I’ll let him watch Harry Potter when he’s much older and once he’s read some of the books. But the one thing I’m firmly putting my foot down on is Ben 10. I won’t let him watch Ben 10, ever! Lainie Anderson (journalist/reporter) wrote a great story on the effect of Ben 10 on her sons and why she banished Ben 10 from the Anderson house, and it has stuck in my mind ever since. Can be read at:
http://www.miningfm.com.au/lifestyle/playing-mum/269.html
loading...
For my son, it was the scarecrow in the Play School animation of Dingle Dangle Scarecrow…couldn’t have predicted that one at all!! He had scarecrow nightmares for weeks.
loading...
That scarecrow used to freak me right out when I was little!!
loading...
Oh the combination of scarecrow and ABC makes me think of Worzel Gummidge (the scarecrow guy!) – anyone remember him? I loved that show as a kid!!
Aah, nostalgia trip! Sorry, this is completely off track…!
loading...
Rule in our house is you can see the HP movies when you’ve read the books. So far, no one is past Book 2. They just lost interest (sorry JK). So, battle avoided. I will say that kid no.3 watches HEAPS more stuff than her older siblings. I just ran out of parenting puff. No (obvious) damage done yet! Good luck
loading...
That’s our rule too. My 8 year old is currently reading the seventh book and he has coped really well with all the films because he knows exactly what is going to happen. And the books don’t upset him either because ‘it’s not real, you know.’ Much to my delight, both my children admitted that they preferred the books becasue the films left too much out!
loading...
My eldest (age 11) and I are big Doctor Who fans. My 4 year old happily watches the reruns too. It can get scary but given the nature of the program and the values inherent in it, I don’t mind too much. The rule for seeing movies at the cinema is that you have to have read the book if you want to see a film above PG.
I did allow my daughter to see the movie Hanna since that is her name and she is a mature kid. I had checked out the reviews and trailers and I was satisfied that she would understand enough. It was also a good movie for discussion.
I am much more cautious with my son due to his different personality. Depends on the kid and the material.
loading...
Totally agree that it depends on each child as each child is different. I felt compelled to reply to your comment though because my 11 year old son is Dr Who OBSESSED! I don’t mind though, its a rather intelligent programme however he sometimes has to explain things to me that I don’t get because I don’t have a “Sci-fi” brain
loading...
Does any one know if Amazon does a Famous Five DVD boxset?
A four DVD boxset is available in Australia, I don’t know if they ship overseas..
http://www.jbhifionline.com.au/dvd/dvd-genres/kids-family/famous-five-the-the-complete-collection/655352
I checked on the uk Amazon site and they have them also.
loading...
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Ah Julian, I loved you so.
loading...
I think kids should stay as innocent as possible for as long as possible. I agree with being very careful with ratings until they’re old enough to discern what’s good and not so good, for themselves!
loading...
My mother was always strict about movie classifications which annoyed me but I was pretty much the same way with my own children. I think it is our job. I used to get annoyed when they watched M movies at other children’s sleepovers etc before theywere 13. I think some parents need to think about that in those situations, it might be fine for your own children but when you are taking responsibility for other people’s, you need to exercise caution.
Strangely, I remember watching an old version of the movie Titanic in black and white on tv when I was young and that really affected me. So much so, that I still have not seen the blockbuster version that was such a hit and never will.
loading...
I agree very much with being responsible for other peoples kids. I know my own children and make my own choices about what they can and can’t wacth based on their level of maturity and understanding. For borderline movies, we will often watch them together. I was annoyed on a recent netball bus trip with kids aged 10-18 (mine being 11) that a parent chaperone put the movie Heathers on the bus dvd player. This is an M rated movie that I don’t want my somewhat sensitive 11 year old girl to watch and I was cranky that an M rated movie was played on a bus with kids where so many were under 15.
loading...
My friend’s kids begged and begged to see the seventh film, and when she finally relented, they begged her to turn it off within the first ten minutes. The last three movies are really frightening! It’s up to each family to decide what’s right, but when in doubt, I recommend reading the wikis or the IMDb parental advisory if you haven’t read the books
loading...
I also think the HP movies are a really, really good resource for important talking points in families. There’s a lot in those movies that parents could use to start discussions with their kids – friendship, values, bullying, and death of loved ones are some that come to mind.
loading...
I grew up watching Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk, Knight Rider and the like with no dramas at all. I saw ET when I was 9.
What I find amusing is that some parents (and I’m talking very religious ones here) won’t allow their kids to watch programs such as HP or read their books, but are happy to allow and even encourage their kids, to follow a 2000 year old tale about some Middle Eastern bloke, that art makes looks he’s from London than the Middle East, that deals in genocide, incest, necromancy, torture, bigamy, rape and the like. Sorry folks I’d rather a 4 year old watch HP than anything religious.
loading...
Agree 100%
loading...
I don’t know how old I was when I first saw The Never Ending Story – probably about 5 or 6. I LOVED that movie – but it did scare me and made me feel uncomfortable. I used to be terrorfied of The Nothing (that big wolf thing with glowing red eyes), but at the same time I LOVED that part the most.
I also had a series of story time tapes that had stories from all around the world and history. My favourites were Pandoras Box and The Minator – again, these freaked me out beyond imagination. But I used to get this thrill of fear and anticipation when they came on – even if I would flick the pages of the accompanying book so I didn’t see the pictures (that seemed to much for me).
The thing that did give me nightmares… Discovery of the Iceman Mummy on 60 minutes at around 8 – but only for 1 night, then I moved on.
My point is I knew what I could handle – and when it got too scary, I shut my eyes. I honestly believe that letting kids deal with things that are scary and emotionally difficult teaches them to deal with it. Yes, they may have a nightmare – Hell I have nightmares now, but having conquered that fear, they will be all the stronger for it.
Why don’t you ask them if they can cope with it?
loading...
I’m with you Debbie. I think, as a society, we are out parenting natural coping skills that kids develop during their childhood. Most children in a loving family (I work in child protection so can see how bad things can get) are able to self adjust to various emotional stimuli including fright…heck when i saw Night of the Living Dead at 7 or 8 I practically soiled myself in fright but sat through it to check out the skeletons and zombies, yes that which scared me also excited me. Not once did I ever have a nightmare about it.
loading...
My parents always used to watch Chinese kung-fu melodramas, which are pretty much the fare that you’d expect to see at 8:30 til 10:30-ish on a weeknight. This was from when I was five and up. The only things that ever gave me nightmares was the surreal stuff, never the blood and gore. So I was always impressed and thrilled by Hollywood fight sequences and understood that it was all make-believe, but the Angry Sun in Super Mario 3 made me run crying to my room. It’s all down to the individual, guys.
Not a parent yet, but I’ll try not to be completely paranoid when the time comes.
loading...
Hmm…I used to have nightmares as a kid so I understand sheltering them from scary movies, but I don’t think we should shy away from death/sadness. It might be good to bring up those topics at a young age and while around family. Although I may feel differently when I have kids.
loading...
My Miss9 has only recently read the first HP book and then watched the movie last weekend. We read the first book together so that I could talk about it with her. She will read the second HP book when she turns 10 in a few months. I have explained to her already that the HP books become quite dark from the third one on so it might be a few more years before she reads those. She has only recently started watching PG rated movies, and even then only the low-level PG stuff. My Mr7 and Mr3 are still limited to G rated movies only and can wait until they’re nearly 10 before they read HP or see one of the movies. My husband and I recently watched Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope in the hopes that Miss9 and Mr7 could watch it, because we both remember watching it as kids. But there’s a couple of scenes that I think are just a bit too much for my kids so they’ll have to wait a bit longer. Apparently they’re the only kids at school who haven’t seen it – NOT!
In our adventures into PG-rated kids tv, I am disappointed at the crap they call kids television. We have ventured onto ABC3 recently and some of that stuff is rubbish. I really have to limit what Miss9 watches on ABC3, especially when the other two kids are around. To combat this, I have bought Miss9 the Round The Twist series on DVD for her 10th birthday in a few months. This was a brilliant Australian children’s series that I remember my younger siblings watching (it came out when I was about 15 and too mature for kids tv shows!). I hope she enjoys it and I hope it’s as innocent as I remember……
We’ve had Foxtel for about 10 years and always had access to Nikelodeon channel. The kids didn’t know it existed until a recent day off school when Miss9 found it and thought she’d discovered gold! Now I have to ban Spongebob, The Amazing World of Gumball and other rubbish. Another battle for parents!
loading...
Man, that show had some freaky shit in it too – remember Santa Claws? Or that lint monster one – spooky
But I agree – one of the best kids shows to come out of the ABC. Thankyou Paul Jennings.
loading...
Round the Twist FTW. Whatever happened to quality children’s TV programming like that?
loading...
I haven’t seen it yet, but I dare say The Dark Knight Rises isn’t suitable for a 6-year-old, yet there was one in the cinema at Aurora who tragically died in the massacre.
My housemate and I discussed this, and he said his parents would have let him see it at that age so he doesn’t find a problem with it, whereas I had to sneakily watch out-of-bounds movies at friends houses when I was twelve and thirteen and I find something as Dark as the Knight super-inappropriate for children.
loading...
I’m a grown woman and I am still freaked by the first Dark Knight movie..!
loading...
It was a midnight screening. I can’t understand why a child would be at a midnight screening of anything.
loading...
I agree. My sister, hubby and I went to see it on opening night and were uncomfortable seeing young children coming in with their parents. Our guess was that they were between 6- 10 years old. We couldn’t understand why any parent would allow a 6 year old to see such a film.
loading...
As the mother of a child who watched Harry Potter too early, he developed a serious Peter Pettigrew issue and has only just got over it at 11.
You know your own kids and what they can handle. Trust yourself.
loading...
Good advice. I think I’ll see how my son is personally before I decide when he can watch them. I adore hp so im just hoping he’ll like them so we can share them. But the dementors are scary!!! At least there’s no naughty bits. And there are plenty of good issues raised that can be discussed.
loading...
Wow Kate! Can I ask what his issue was, if you don’t mind? I’m just thinking that hearing that might help me when I am trying to make the decision for my own kids (no decision to be made at the moment – they are too young!)? What happened? Pettigrew isn’t necessarily a character I would have thought of as being a particular problem (over the other characters anyway!).
loading...
I remember being horrified at the unicorn death scene (movie 2 HP?) that I took my primary school daughter to watch years ago. You go Shankari. Children can be traumatized by seeing things on the big screen they would never visualize in their heads as they read.
loading...
One thing I think is important is that children do experience sadness, and fear – as long as it is in a safe environment, surrounded by loved ones, where negative emotions can be discussed and debriefed.
Early childhood is important for emotional development – all emotions, not just the good ones. I don’t think shielding a child from a scary lion king or nemo scene is necessarily a good thing, because a child will be exposed to sadness and fear at all ages, no matter how much we protect them. It’s important they know how to manage that emotion, and process it healthily. It will help them in the long-term, and I think it is relevant. But of course it must be age appropriate – Harry Potter and the likes is really for teens as far as I am concerned.
I am a psychology student, not an expert. But this makes sense to me. I’m by no means saying that a small child should watch anything and everything, but shielding from all negativity is not necessarily a good thing even though instinctively it feels that way (as we just want to protect them!).
loading...
Nope I’m with you. You’re not being over the top. Especially on the Harry Potter movies.
I’m actually (*jumps out from under the bed before jumping back in – guilty pleasure alert*) a big Harry Potter fan. I read them as an adult after watching a couple of the movies and then working my way through all the books and the movies.
My theory on Harry Potter is that he is 11 when the books start. The kids that started out with the books when they were first released were a similar age to Harry. They then had to wait for each book to be released, and were generally at the right age each time the subject matter got a little darker. The difficulty we have now is that a child that starts them can get through the whole series within a very short time frame, whether they are ‘old enough’ or not. This is why I want my kids to wait, as I understand that feeling of ‘but what happens next??’ that will make it hard to keep the next books from them.
I completely agree with you that 4 is waaaayyy too young to watch HP3 – did the parents not watch it? Those dementors are the stuff of nightmares!! Even for older kids!!
I still remember the character of the ‘Child Catcher’ from the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang movies though – he was my childhood terror! And he had nothing on the dementors!
I think the HP books are great for reinforcing a few life lessons at the right age. There is a lot to like about the books. But little kids are just too young to get those messages!
loading...
The first five minutes of Finding Nemo is just too sad even for adults!
loading...
Yes, we fast forwarded past that bit, and the Sharks (still cracks me up though! Fish are friends not food…!) for years! Now we finish “The Sound of Music” at the wedding scene, its all a bit dramatic and sad for kids after that.
loading...
I have nothing to base this on, but feel that kids of a certain age are able to watch topics of death without it damaging them too much. It’s all the high tech imagery that comes with death scenes that makes their imagination go wild. I’m lucky, we’re not into movies, as in buying and keeping. I have no desire for my girl to spend more time on front of the box than she already does, so hopefully we can ward off these scenarios for a while yet.
My parents in return didn’t enforce much restriction as far as I’m aware. I was only 7 when some friends had me watch Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds
loading...
This is actually a source of parenting tension between my husband & I at the moment! He keeps bringing home DVDs which he (thinks he) loved as a child which are totally inappropriate for our 4 year old. He doesn’t seem to click that he would not have watched these films until he was 10 or so. Many movies rated ‘G’ still have parts that are really scary for a young child: The Lion King (the hyenas, the death of lions), Ponyo (boy who’s fallen in the sea in a storm), The Wizard of Oz (flying monkeys, death of a witch, wicked witch) are 3 examples recently that we have had a heated discussion over. He will bring it home, show it to her and start the movie before we’ve discussed it. So before I have a chance to object she’s already watching it and I’m the bad guy if I turn it off. But then whaddayaknow? 10 minutes later she clutching me for dear life with her head buried in my chest, unwilling to turn it off because she wants it all to turn out okay but scared to watch.
It seems to be a husband rebellion issue! He calls me the ‘Chief Censor’ now!
More generally, I have noticed such a change in myself lately, as my oldest gets older. 5 or 6 years ago I was very liberal (not in the Australian political sense! But in the dictionary definition of ‘liberal’ sense) but lately I am becoming VERY conservative! And more like my parents! Just like you say Shankari. I figure there is so much ‘out there’ to eventually corrupt my little ones’ beautiful innocent minds, I might as well try to protect them for as long as possible. I am very honest with them (in an age appropriate way). I just don’t see the need for them to be exposed to ideas that are beyond them.
loading...
Actually your husband probably did watch those movies at that age. A few years ago they were talking about remaking snow white because the dark forest scene is too scary for young kids but it wasnt even an issue when i was a kid. I think parents are just more aware now.
With that said I know a 3 year old whos seen all the xmens/batmans/spidermans/iron man/twilight/harry potters which i would never give to a kid but other than being a really attention seeking child, theres nothing wrong with him. i think the attention seeking stems directly from the use of these dvds babysitting him rather than the content.
loading...
My kids watched those movies and love them. I think death is ok- it happens to everyone. The ones I think are inappropriate are violent movies like superman , and batman.
Pets die,grandparents die, sometimes parents and siblings die- but super heroes belting each other and murder is not part of life
loading...