Ugh. Be prepared to see some disturbing footage. We’ve spoke about tv shows, Toddlers and Tiara’s and Baby Beauty Pageants before, but this has to be a twisted new low.
Julie Parker has worked at The Butterfly Foundation, and is now a counselor and life coach for women suffering from negative body image. Here is her take on toddler waxing and child beauty pageants…
Make sure your curling iron is on and your beauty therapist is on speed dial – Little Miss Bayside is calling for 2011 entrants. The pageant is modeled ‘along the same lines of the traditional American Style Pageants’ like the ones seen in ‘Toddlers and Tiara’s.’ There will be formal gowns, swimsuits and ‘glamour beauty.’ Did I say beauty therapist on speed dial? Make that child therapist.
If you think these pageants are harmless fun, or as the organisers of Little Miss Bayside claim, a way “to encourage, build self esteem and inspire children to be the best they can be,” as Darryl Kerrigan once said; “You’re dreamin.” Take a look at this latest clip from ‘Toddlers and Tiara’s’ showing an entrant getting her eyebrows waxed. It’s one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen.
I’m not sure about you but I found that distressing. The child is screaming not to have it done and yet her Mother believes it an acceptable thing to do. Well, it’s not. Waxing is something that should only be done by adult women who choose to do so. It is not something that is meant to be done to a child.
If you’re not convinced of how dangerous things like waxing, spray tanning and teeth whitening are for girls, how about this Mother putting her eight year old daughter on a fruit only diet. Why? Because she was growing too fast to fit into a $1200 pageant dress. This is not only cruel, it’s dangerous. Take it from someone who specializes in working with children, teens and people who have body image concerns and eating disorders, this is a classic set up for a child to become anxiety ridden about their body and self worth to the point where they start refusing food and believing they are fat and unacceptable. Not to mention malnourished. Where is the beauty in that?
I do not understand how any parent living in today’s world where there are so many amazing choices for girls, could possibly think that parading around in makeup, high heels and a bikini is meant to give their daughter a true and lasting sense of self respect. Last time I checked no adult or child could find self esteem in a shade of magenta lip gloss. No matter how hard they may try. These pageants do nothing more than tell girls their worth is tied up in what they look like, how much they weigh, how expensive their dress is and how sparkly their teeth are. It’s a breeding ground for warped body image and self esteem if ever I saw one and the impact they could, and clearly are having, frightens me. While I appreciate that Australian pageants may not be at the stage where they are like the ones from the USA; surely it must only be a matter of time. The competitive element seems to know no bounds.
To my mind, no little girl should ever be waxed, shaved, highlighted, contoured, glossed or sprayed and then be judged. The thought of it nearly brings me to tears. Little girls should be allowed to be just that – little girls – with no cares or worries about what they look like. Their world should be made up of playing, colouring, running outside, learning to share, making friends at school and generally just having fun and being childlike.
They should not be exposed to anything that makes them think they have to be ‘fixed’ in any way, but clearly these pageants believe they have to be, or at least promote that thinking. To my mind that is not only a travesty, but a potential tragedy waiting to happen.
What do you think is it a form of child abuse?







Comments
277 Comments so far
Some of the comments from mum’s writing that they have waxed their daughter’s brows or legs because they have asked for it themselves is far different from what this mother is doing to her FIVE year old little girl.
I had a huge mono-brow when I was in high school (which my dad wouldn’t let me get waxed) and I was constantly called ‘caterpillar face!”
So I think its totally different if your hairy child comes to you and asks for it, rather than unfit mothers who force it on their kids when the kids are not bothered by it at all.
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This clip is so disturbing!!! Is this a form of child abuse?? ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY YES!!!!! As a mother of a 5 year old girl (who loves having her hair straightened on occasion, or playing with a bit of make up with her friends, its more like face paint when they’re done and thats how i like it!!) there is no way on this earth that i would EVER subject her to what this “mother” has done to her little girl. Why can’t we just let our little girls be just that, little girls?? There is plenty of time for them to worry about shaving/waxing/underwire/panty liners/hairy eyebrows/does my bum look big in this when they grow up!!!!
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is it bad to really, really, want to wax my daughter’s little moustache?
She says she likes it. I have the wax on-hand but can’t bring myself to say anything. She’s 7 1/2.
HELP !!!!!
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If your little girl has no problem with it, you shouldn’t wax it, plain and simple. YOU are the one with the image issue, not her.
I make my living as an esthetician, and I would consider it a broach of my professional ethics to wax a child at the behest of her anal-retentive mother.
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i know i’m the one w the problem and that’s why i have not done it. I’ll jut keep it on hand, the other kids will make a comment soon enough and then i’ll be ready….
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I couldn’t watch the video, but it did remind me of an issue with my stepdaughter, who is 8 and has been teased at school because she is not waxing her eyebrows. Her eyebrows are normal for her age (not a monobrow or catapiller or similar) and I was frankly horrified at the idea. Apparently a few other girls were targetted too.
She also hates her absolutely gorgeous thick wavy hair because she wants it to be straight and likes getting it blow dried straight at the hairdresser regularly. I am not sure if we should encourage this at her age. I think she should appreciate her own beauty and this stops her from being comfortable with her looks – and she is a very pretty girl. What do other people think?
Personally, I learnt to live with my wavy hair and just get a good haircut to manage it. However, her mother straightens her hair every morning with a GHD and I know of lots of other women who do the same. Am I over-reacting?
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Lynne – That’s awful that your stepdaughter is being teased about her appearance in this way. This is simply not on and I really encourage you to talk to the school asap. They should do more to step in and stop this sort of culture taking hold at the school.
I think you are absolutely right to find ways to support your stepdaughter to appreciate the way her hair is naturally, however if her Mum is straightening it that is something that is her perogative too. It’s such a shame to me to hear of any young girl hating anything about themselves and it is always my approach with things traits such as hair that rather than change the hair to instead work on changing the feelings about the hair. It’s absolutely worth talking to her about and even her Mum is possible because if not adressed now, there is the potential she could find further things ‘wrong’ or not ok with her as she grows older.
Do also talk to the school though as it sounds like she is surrounded by some nasties that are tearing others self esteem down.
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I found this very very sad. Firstly, I see the ‘beauty therapist’ laughing when the little girl is screaming with pain. Secondly, the mother of this little girl is just brainless. I would NEVER do this to my child, she can wax and shave when she is only in her teens and if SHE chooses too. A little girl with a few stray hairs on her eyebrows, is just that a little girl. Let her be, and DON”T LIVE YOUR DREAMS THROUGH your children. Enter a beauty competition yourself and leave your child to be a child. Poor little girl!!
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I found the clip really disturbing to watch. What a warpped view the mother and “beauty therapist” have, in what makes a child beautiful. I know what makes an adult ugly!
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I am a beauty therapist and have three daughters, one fair and two very olive, and VERY hairy. I wax myself at home and infrequently I have waxed the two olive girls. They asked me to do it or I never would have, but I don’t mind doing it. One of them (8yrs) tolerates it very well, the other (12yrs) often forgets why she’s doing it halfway through and then lives with only one leg done for a while, which is fine. There is a theory that damaging the hair shaft before puberty, when it changes to tougher and thicker hair, will make the hair growth less and finer after puberty. Who knows, it’s a bit of a private experiment at the moment.
I found watching this clip very disturbing, all of it, but the mother’s attitude about it being necessary was the worst bit. However given my own experience I wouldn’t say that ONLY adults should have waxing done on them. The playground is a terrible place to be if you have mohair stockings!
Please note, I don’t know any beauty therapists who would do that to an unwilling child; remember waxing exfoliates the skin more than a good exfoliant so your skin is sensitive to sun damage following waxing (which is why you see a lot of woman (esp of the more mature variety) with pigmentation on their upper lips and around their eyes); and also why I won’t wax the girls legs in summer regardless of pleas (only in winter when they wear long pants); and all waxing stretches the skin (I’m sure lovely young skin will snap back but because of the sun damage risk I don’t wax mine or my girls faces and strongly encourage others not to do it), better to pluck, IPL or laser depending on the size and location of the area, the hair growth and hair colour.
Before anyone rings DOCS to dob me in for brutality, I can do this, and possibly provide a better outcome for them post puberty, they certainly won’t be worse off (unless they decide to be hippies and want more body hair, but I figure the chance of this is slim) or I can let them do what I did which was use any old razor and take the skin off my shins, ankle bones and knees.
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PS – even if they pleaded with me, begged me and did all their jobs and some of mine without whinging and rolling of eyes, I wouldn’t let them go in a beauty pageant. Not today, not ever!
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Oh man, I love you. One of my daughters asked to get her eyebrows waxed. She has those thick, caterpiller-like eyebrows that I had as a kid. I took her to get them waxed, of course – a light waxing that removed some of the heaviness (and the monobrow). She’s asked to get it done once again since then. She doesn’t find it painful, and it’s only ever at her request (and without any pushing or comments by me).
Her twin has beautifully shaped brows, and has no desire to have them waxed. Nor does she need it.
As the kid that grew up with caterpiller-eyebrows also, I know what it feels like to want to have lovely NORMAL brows… and I think its important not to subject children to playground torture.
So yeah, with you all the way here. It’s about being a reflexive parent, in my opinion. I can encourage my kids to behave like little girls, but I can also make sure they’re not teased for ‘mohair stockings’
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ugh. Just watched the video. although I stand by my comments (I’m not sure why they came up as anonymous) I would never, EVER do this if the child was carrying on like that.
Or bribe my child with lollies.
Or do it without the kid asking for it to be done (as was the case for my daughter).
What a horrible video.
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Hi Mia,
Just found this about pole dancing tweens , very disturbing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ihuqBWcP58
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omg that really was disturbing. How can you do that to a little girl!! Were they bribing her with sweets??? even more disturbing
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It is child abuse. Is there any way Australians can get together and have contests based on appearance banned for under 18s at least? Even without such contests, far too many people feel negatively evaluated on the basis of appearance, so lets eliminate an outstanding provocation!
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So disturbing, but sadly it’s not just happening because of beauty pageants. When I was studying beauty therapy in Brisbane, we had client days. We had a young girl – younger than 12, who was brought in by her mum and I assume other female family members and was held down while she had her first bikini wax. This girl was Indian and had quite strong hair growth. Sadly, they didn’t want it done so she could wear her swimming costume, they wanted it really high and remove as much as possible. This girl was getting ready to meet her intended match.
This poor little girl screamed each time and had big fat tears running down her face. These so called caring women just held her down. She struggled walking out. It was so disturbing, most of us left the salon. We never saw them again.
I am not suggesting this is normal practice for Indian girls, just my experience.
I also met a gorgeous young girl who had a hirsute problem and needed her face waxed regularly. Sadly, the ridicule had already begun and she was quite introverted and shy.
For anyone who watches Tantrums and Tiara’s, or any show like it, you are validating these women’s actions simply by watching. Don’t turn it on, in fact, write/call/email the station it is on & complain. You have a choice. These shows are wrong on so many levels.
Mia, my 5 year old asks me the same questions and I answer that I wear make up to accentuate my eyes or other features and my hair is done because a pony tail only cuts it at so many places
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Why was the actual bikini wax performed on, an obviously, unwilling client. She obviously did not give her consent. Is this not assault?
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I suppose wacking a bitch like this in the head is just getting caught up in the rubbish she’s in. Emotional response to child abuse is natural, but one needs to step back and take a quiet moment before commenting. Or doing the obvious thing, like cursing, screaming and violence.
It’s a free world. USA seems to be home to all kinds of madness in the name of freedom.
Free to be what?
5 year olds as Xeroxed adults? Compressing the experiences of twenty plus years that make women decide to do the “beauty” trip to their bodies and making a child believe it’s good? Women are pretty sick if this is the result of the Beauty trip that women take.
Are all women guilty of the obscene faking of their bodies into some cruel joke called “Beauty” ? No, I don’t think so.
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But it would be nice to knock their heads together
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I can’t believe that mother!! Surely that’s a form of emotional child abuse…disgraceful.
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I have watched a couple episodes of this show (like being transfixed by a car crash) and my theory is that it’s not about the money but it’s the parents trying to compensate for their own perceived failings. The ‘moms’ are feeling old and ugly and without status and the dads are feeling stupid and compeditive so they focus on proving their kid is the best at something they feel is achievable. I suspect this cycles to the next generation. So sad.
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I would never use my child to gain more money,that is disgusting.It is fine for kids to play with mummy’s make up at home but this is just sick.
I read more and more articles about parents abusing their children in many ways. Just because you can breed does not mean that you should.
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I think you’re right Paod but my daughter is not allowed to do dancing, calinsthenics or any sport or activity which focuses on physical appearance, nor is she allowed to watch commercial tv. She does have a barbie — it’s her ‘baby’. Ir cries a lot. I think there are a LOT of parents like me who also see these pageants as an extension of these activities and also ban the lot of them.
BTW, I am NOT saying that all dance classes etc focus too much on appearance, but I don’t know enough about them to find a good one and prefer to stick with what I know (martial arts).
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I have danced in an academy since I was five. In my experience I believe I has allowed me to grow into a confident person. I preformed in estedfords and end of year concerts- It was terrifying as a five year old to preform in front of hundreds of people while trying to remember the routine and not fall over but the energising feeling after where I felt like I had accomplished something was incredible.
I found that the focus was more on the ability rather than the appearance.
I work with children and am a firm believer in dance. I have a little boy who dances to “Beat It” with so much Jackson spirit that I have encouraged his mother to support his interest and talent in a dance classes.
I have also worked with a mother who wanted me to do more music and dance experiences as she had no rhythm or ability to provide dancing.
My experience, no disrespect
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I think you may taking it to the extreme with your daughter! What happens when she Goes out in the real world…. She’ll be in shock! I don’t agree with these pageants, but not allowing your daughter to do dancing or certain sports or watch commercial tv is over the top!
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Commercial TV= The real world??? I dont think so. Certainly not the world I choose to live in anyway.
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Eyebrow waxing NO WAY!….but what I dont understand is people getting on their parental high horse about these pageants. Have they been to see any Dancing, Calisthenics or Sporting Competitions recently? Do they live in the REAL world? Im not saying its right but its reality.
If your child shows interest in an activity we have to ‘encourage’ them because we live in a time when it all about ‘encouraging kids’ and ensuring they learn to ‘have a go’ at new things.
I know a number of parents who purchase the top of the range sporting equipment that they really cant afford with the dream that their little one will make it some day- but apparently thats ok.
We cant let them play with Barbie, watch Australian Idol and listen to Hannah Montana and then when they request the opportunity to “have a go” at this sort of thing reject it.
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Couldn’t watch the rest of the clip, only about 20 seconds, that was enough for me. Horrendous, mean, unacceptable.
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just let kids be kids,they dont stay babies long enough.
As for those SO CALLED PARENTS. SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!.
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I had a selfish parent whose only priority was satisfying their own ego. I want my children to feel comfortable safe and happy. I ask them what they would like and how they feel about something. This does not mean I agree with everything they say or they get everything they want. But I assure you they don’t do anything they don’t like, may harm them or cause them stress if I can help it. I’m here for my children, my children are not here to satisfy my ego at their expense, that’s what bullies do. I would have difficulty being in the same room as that idiot, she’s not a mother, she should be locked up.
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That poor little girl…surely there should be age restrictions on those sort of treatments as there is with tattooing?
I hope the mother is saving up for the therapy bill…
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I still find it hard to believe that ANYONE can have a child. Being a parent is one of the most important jobs a person can have, but there are no exams or formal training involved.
And BTW, to all the parents who rug themselves up when it’s cold (coats, hats, boots etc) and leave their children sock/shoeless…You suck.
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disgraceful! How can this possibly be in the best interest of the child? Will this child still feel pretty once the spray tan, fake nails and make up has been removed? What an impossible standard to set for a small girl. On a personal note, what words do you use to say no to your daughter if she asks to enter such a pageant or even a beauty contest?
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You tell them they don’t have to enter a contest to prove they are beautiful because you KNOW they already are.
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You could try what I said this morning.
Child: But mummy, I want to!
ME: No.
Child: But why?
ME: Because I’m the mummy and I get to say no. When you’re the mummy you’ll get to say no. Till then, it’s my turn.
Child: But Mummy, wwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
Me: la la la
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Sasha that’s tough because all little people want others to look at them and think they are wonderful, gorgeous human beings. They are by nature little narcissist’s.
Could your daughter be swayed by dancing instead? I know some have said dancing is as bad, but it is only so if you let it. There are dancing lessons where kids learn to dance and have fun. My kids go to Rhythm Factory (in Syd & Melb) and it’s great. They get to go up on stage at the end of each term and really look forward to it. They can wear what they want and both my kids have a ball.
Good luck! My mum used to tell me ‘because I said so’….as soon as I could, I did all the things she said no to, and then some
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What part of the word `children` don`t these `mothers`(& I use the term very lightly!!!)understand???
These babies are forced to grow up & do totally unnatural things(for a child)just for prize money which will no doubt take `mummy & daddy` on their next world cruise…or buy the new beamer,designer outfit or diamond!!!
It`s disgusting & horrifying how anyone can do this to their supposedly `adored` offspring…
It`s high time these `beauty pageants` were banned completely,worldwide!!!
Children should not be put under pressure to perform in competitions but rather encouraged to play & socialise…it brings to mind the soccer mums & dads…(although nowhere near as abusive)screaming on the sideline & having punch-ups over a bad call…IT`S A GAME, PARENTS…FOR YOUR CHILDREN….IT`S NOT A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION…and no,I don`t have daughters,but 5 sons & now a grand daughter & grand son…& they have had a childhood…playing games,playing in the mud,sand pits,swings,throwing a ball,riding bikes,anything outside which is giving them fresh air…& heaps of love NO MATTER WHAT!!!…get a grip on reality parents & let your kids be just that…KIDS!
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When I saw the movie I was shocked …
How can mothers let on it or join in it ? !
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absolutely desgusting. I couldnt even watch the video, just the image of that poor little girl was enough to make me sick. These parents are unfit and it should definately be considered a form of child abuse.
why is it that “Im waxing her eyebrows because she needs it for a chance to win the beauty pageant. im her mother and its my choice to do so.”
is completely acceptable…wheras if you changed it to
“Im smacking her bottom because she needs it to grow up disciplined and know that there are consequences to her actions. Im her mother and its my choice to do so”…
is considered abuse enough to jail someone and fine them heavily too.
whats wrong with the world? twisted concept of whats good for kids and whats not if you ask me.
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I found the footage of the 5 y.o. being waxed REALLY disturbing and was almost reduced to tears but the first thing that came to mind was how HOT Mia was looking during her interview with Lisa Wilkinson. I know this is a really inappropriate topic to be posting such a comment under, but Mia, your hair looks so stunning long like that and that mini skirt looked amazing. HOT HOT HOT!!! Sorry if that’s inappropriate people, but seriously, she looks sensational!
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I wonder how ‘HOT’ she would have looked or felt if she had appeared with no make up and everyday children’s clothes. I’ve no doubt she would have still been beautiful but would SHE see herself as beautiful or feel beautiful? If the answer is no then sadly, it is alredy messing with her self image and self esteem.
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The religious group, the ‘Exclusive Bretheren’ are not allowed to wear make up. I was thinking watching the video that maybe their ideas on life are not all that bad
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I think Jane was talking about Mia, not the little girl
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oh yes, missed that bit! sentiment about the child still stands though…
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She should get a haircut or in the least stop flicking her hair continually
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If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all
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One has to assume when a parent needs to resort to waxing a CHILDS eyebrows for a “beauty pageant” they must have mental heath issues. That is just not right.
It is sickening.
I feel terrible when I run a hair brush through my three year old daughters hair because the “snots” hurt to brush out, let alone torture with hot wax?
I can’t even bring myself to do it to MYSELF
>:|
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snots…how cute!
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An aside: Dilute some conditioner with a good dose of water and spray the mixture on her hair before you brush her hair – no more “snots! : )
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I have literally seen about two minutes of the Toddlers and Tiara show ever. In that two minutes a two year old girl started crying because the eyelash glue for her fake eyelashes went in her eye. Her parents were annoyed at her, because she wasn’t going to be able to perform because she was crying.
I couldn’t watch to see what happened next, I hit the button to turn this off my screen. How awful and yes Mia, distressing. Thank goodness my beautiful girls know nothing of that world!
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I wax my 13 year old son’s brows, with his permission, because he has a mono-brow. I use cold wax – no heat.
I don’t think this makes me a bad parent, but I certainly wouldn’t FORCE this on a child.
However, some things do need to be forced…like school attendance, necessary medical treatments, trips to the dentist and the like.
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i am sure he thanks you now and he will definitely thank-you later especially if you are the type to display family photos, i have a friend who cringes when friends visit her parent’s home as she had pretty full on brows as a child and teenager. she starting waxing as soon as she knew it existed, but that wasn’t soon enough in her mind.
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i think that at 13 you would have your son’s consent. I think that does not make you a bad parent. I don’t imagine that one treatment equates to your whole life being run by your need to have the most beautiful child. My son looks like he will have a monobrow and i am intending to wax it. My daughter will never enter a beauty pageant.
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I can understand 12 plus girls waxing their eybrows if it makes them feel better, I’m all for the child feeling as comfortable as possible socially. But as a man I can’t really come to terms with boys being worried about a mono-brow. It used to be only the muscle bound meatheads in bodybuilding competitions that did the full body wax. My 61 year old meathead friend carries a ‘Bic’ disposable in his pocket to give himself a clean up where ever he may be. It makes me smile that he does, but I couldn’t stand the bristles catching on my clothes, I presume.
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I’m thinking maybe it’s the metro influence. Seeing alot of the deep v shirts with waxed off chest hair and even shaved legs too on (late teenage to 20′s )boys/men.
It’s not just girls that are influenced by the beauty world and what guys think of them.. Boys seem to be just as influenced by what girls think of them too..
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no problem with that at all, my then 14 year son asked me to wax his ‘mono brow’ due to comments at school, he does it himself now, cold wax pen thing and tweezers. i think its fine if its their idea but not something I would ever push on my children. it has to be their decision.
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not okay
and we watch the shows and the industry grows…
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I actually think the show is about shedding light on these ridiculous things. The way the shows are edited indicate to me it is clear the producers know this is sick. They do a good job of conveying irony and the mismatch or words to actions (eg. “she just LOVES it!” and they cut to the child throwing a tantrum). Only deluded people can actually think this is glorifying beauty pageants. I think.
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. I do agree with what you are saying, but I think you have mis interpreted what Sara is saying.
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I do not condone the mother’s actions in any way but I lay most of the blame on the pageant industry. By offering prize money as a reward for making little girls look like mini drag queens they encourage this cruelty.
I would love some influential American women like Oprah or Michelle Obama to take a stand against the industry.
We must never let this happen here in Australia.
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According to Mia it is happening in Australia; The Bayside Beauty Pageant. Correct my wording if it’s wrong
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why do we keep on insisting in taking responsibility from the parents? Just because there is prize money doesn’t mean that you need to abandon your duty in ensuring your child’s mental health, future mental health and dignity.
We have planty of influential women in Australia that I would like to see speaking up against this phenomena.
I would never ever think about putting any of my children through this EVER! no matter what the prize money is…
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This, for serious. Yes, there’s prize money. But you know what? Parents could also make a heap of money selling their kid for organs (or for adoption). Does the fact that they’d be earning a legitimately monetary reward take the blame off them if they do so? No.
Or, to use another responsibility entirely: I work at an animal shelter. This means that I have to do certain tasks and do them a certain way and at a certain time; the lives, or at least the happinesses, of small creatures depend on that. If someone offered me money to skip work for an entire day (or week, or whatever), does that mean I can do it and the blame for hungry (or sick, or dead) kitties goes to the person who paid me? No.
The thing about being a parent (disclaimer: I am not one) is that you are responsible for what happens to the minor you choose to keep in your care. The kid doesn’t understand enough of the world to keep itself safe, and the parent therefore has to do so. You don’t stop being responsible for your kid because someone offered you something else you want. If you do, you’re no more mature than a kid yourself: unable to see your own role and to deny a desire because it conflicts with your duty.
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I think these pageants are so disturbing. I have seen bits and pieces of Toddlers and Tiaras and as much as I hate seeing the poor innocent children made up and paraded around like dolls, I do enjoy watching the pathetic parents! Enjoy probably isn’t the right word!! I just find it amazing that majority of the mums are overweight and extremely unattractive and are clearly living through their children! All children are beautiful and should not be judged on their appearance at any age…. the mothers on the other hand….. I’d like to see an episode of those hideous mothers (inside and out), being paraded around the stage and being judged!
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it’s like a car accident, horrifying, yet you can’t look away…
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Faybian,
Do you know what a ‘ghoul’ is?
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and to think my idea of “child abuse” when I was young was my mum making me wear those old fashioned curlers in my hair overnight the night before an Irish Dancing competition! And before you say she was horrible, although that was uncomfortable, I loved dancing and was good at it, but only did it for about 3 or 4 years!However, I vowed never to do that to my daughters when they took up dancing, and bought them wigs.
Now dancing mothers, that’s another story……
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I had to wear my curlers to school. Embarrassing much?
But like you, I loved it. And having them in that long really was the only way to get the curls to stay in. Once high school came along I invested in a hairpiece instead – no way was I rocking up to year 7 english in curlers.
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I had to wear mine to church and every time we went interstate for the Championships, had to wear them out to whatever place we were sight seeing at. Great big pink plastic rollers with yer mum’s scarf over the top. Noice.
I hated the curls but was never allowed to wash my hair after. My mum wanted me to wear the curls in my hair as long as I could because it was normally so damn straight.
It was hard to sleep on those rollers I tell you.
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I’ve got curls, and I used to scream when Mum would brush my hair. Had it short till I was in Year 7. Luckily Mum felt my pain and never pushed me to show off my “beautiful curls”!
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I forgot about the scarves! I never saw my mum wearing any of them but for some reason she had an endless supply of ugly old scarves to stick on my head.
Ditto with the sightseeing too. There’s so many pictures of me in front of landmarks with curlers in my hair. Its so nice to know I wasn’t the only one! lol
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?? Why did Irish dancing require curlers?
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Is the video disturbing? Yes. Are child beauty pageants ridiculous? Yes. Are these parents inadvertently screwing with their kids’ heads? Yes, but…
There are a lot of parents inadvertently screwing with their kids’ heads: Parents who brainwash their kids with religion, racism and/or sexism. Parents who are too strict. Parents who are too lax. Parents who are overprotective. Parents who are negligent. Parents who work too much. Parents who interfere too much. Parents who yell. Parents who give you the silent treatment. Parents who cheat on the other parent. Parents who place too much importance on grades/sport/popularity/wealth/status/material possessions/physical attributes. Parents who feed their kids nothing but junk food. Parents who feed their kids nothing but carrot and celery sticks. Parents who have no sense of fun. Parents who party too much. Parents who withhold attention, affection and praise. Parents who smother…
What I’m trying to say is that there is no such thing as the perfect parent. And while it’s easy to stand in judgment of tizzy pageant parents, they’re not the most insidious breed of parent.
How about the passive-aggressive parent? They don’t wax your eyebrows, primp you to within an inch of your life and force you onto a stage. They don’t even hit or yell. They just spend your entire childhood leaving you with the distinct feeling that you’re not worth anything. Then, try having a relationship with an adult who grew up with a parent like that. I did – and it was hell on earth. A pageant parent’s impact on their child would probably pale in comparison.
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What an excellent response. I’m no fan of the beauty pageants. They make me want to vomit actually, and question why, oh why. But you are right. They’re only one type of parent and many of them may not actually be that bad in the whole scheme of parenting business. Maybe. There are indeed plenty of others that can give them a run for their money. No beauty pageant vehicle needed.
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Thanks. I really appreciated your positive feedback.
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Using your reasoning it is comparable to say that rape is bad but murder is worse, so therefore rape pales in comparison?
These are children. Yes, they may not be being beaten, molested, neglected or a host of other terrible things, but this is certainly not a healthy approach to raising a well-rounded, confident child.
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I never said it was healthy. In fact, I clearly stated in the first paragraph that it wasn’t. All I was trying to point out was how pervasive bad parenting is – it’s not only pageant parents who ought to be judged for their questionable parenting skills. There a LOT of parents out there who should be held accountable for the damaging impact they’re having on their children. Unfortunately, like pushy pageant parents, many of their actions aren’t punishable by law.
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You are obviously suffering from a bad parent. I’ve never been a person who sees the glass as half full. Although, I was lucky enough to have one parent who cared, some people have no one. We can’t change the past, but it also seems unbelievably difficult to change the future too. Anyone that has the courage to stand up usually does it on their own, while the majority stand on the otherside of the road and look at you as if you are some ‘fixated nut’, strangely shaking their heads at you in disapproval. When you do succeed in making change all those passive aggressive people on the other side of the road, cross the road and want to be your friend because they now call you ‘courageous’. I believe abuse in many forms continues because of the passive majority who have plenty of opinions, yet do not have the courage to deserve an opinion.
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You obviously didn’t read my comment properly.
I’m not the one who had a bad parent. I was in a relationship with someone who had a troubled childhood and it was devastating to discover that the fallout rendered him incapable of having a relationship – not just with me but with anyone.
To be honest, Colin, your comment didn’t make much sense. I’ve now read it three times and I still don’t get it.
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Impact is impact,the degree would depend on each individual. In World War 1, it took some men years to develope signs of battle fatigue, it took others a few minutes after stepping of the boat. Go to you tube and type in the search box; “shell shock” and read the comments. It may make you feel sick. The mind is very fragile. Impact is Impact.
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so true
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Well this is what passes for beauty treatments in our house!
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You’re braver than I am! I only let my children paint my toenails with clear polish with glitter. This way the ‘oopsies’ are less seen, am I cheating??:)
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Ummm…. can someone shed some light for me.
Let me start though by making it clear that I LOATHE child beauty pagaents, and wish they were banned.
However, after watching that footage it occurred to me that my 2 and a half year old daughter carries on like that;(screams, cries out Noooo, struggles) when I try to cut her fingernails.
Yes. I’m doing it against her will. Not only because otherwise she scratches me, but also for hygeine reasons.
Obviosuly my intention is irrelevant to “looking beautiful” but could that also be considered a form of child abuse?
Yes, it’s distressing to watch a child be forced against their will, but I force my daughter against her will constantly. She’s 2 and highly uncooperative.
And as a side note: I have found that bribing her with pink nail polish after her fingernails are cut works a treat.
So is she too young for pink mail polish?
It’s really hard to draw a line on what’s right and wrong when it comes to teaching your child about grooming and also ‘beautifying yourself.’
Girls learn young that looks count. Everyone tells my daughter her faingernails are pretty. It’s positive reinforcement to her, so she continues to enjoy having it done, which is good for me because it means I can cut her nails without her acting as though I’m removing a limb.
And beauty pagaents with judges and prizes aside – it’s very difficult to take value away from beauty when the world is screaming it at us everywhere we turn.
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I think there is a big difference between what you are doing, and your child’s reaction and the little girl fearing the wax (which had previously burnt her and taken the skin off). My children (a daughter and two sons) have worn nail polish from time to time for fun, and yes they think it looks pretty. I think that’s quite different to the child being put on stage to parade about (literally) and be judged on THEIR beauty.
As an aside. I remember with our first child being very worried about accidentally cutting my child’s skin rather than her nails, so put off doing it at all. I’d ask my partner to do it as I thought he had a steadier hand. A nurse suggested I just bite her nails down…and it worked a treat until those little fingers were big enough to help me feel comfortable with the cutting:)
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All you are doing Cindy is comparing chalk with cheese and trying to wrap a cheese slice around the chalk. Not everyone is fooled or should I say a fool!
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You should have filed her nails instead of cutting them, I’ll bet you have cut her nails to the quick more than once. Go and get a file. When will you be getting her a nose, lip and nipple piercing?
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Huh? Cheese?
And trust me! I tried the nail file thing ages ago. Same response. And biting them myself. I tried everything.
But thanks for your wonderful advise.
Her appt for a nose ring is next Friday.
**sigh**
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I have a dilema. I HATE pagents and my children are outdoors, covered in mud kinda kids and I have (hopefully) begun instilling them with self esteem and confidence in themselves and their appearance. I model good self image and my kids dont give it a 2nd thought as far as I am aware. However. I am olive skinned with thick dark eyebrows (mono brow if you will). One of my daughters has inherited the same. I was teased and humiliated through school and at 30 it is still something I am concious of. I have no doubt, as wobbly as it sits on my sholders that if my 7 / 8 year old daughter wants her eyebrows waxed with me she will have my full support – does that make me a bad mum or am I just deflecting the years of teasing I got? I certainly wont push her or force her but I want her to know she has the option by default of knowing I get it done. When I was 16 and first had my eyebrows waxed it was a revelation and I was BITTER i hadnt done it earlier. Thoughts? Bad Mum? shit I hope not…
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I can’t tell you whether or not you should do it, but you are in NO WAY a Bad Mum because your only thoughts are what is best for your child.
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I don’t think you’re a bad mother if you support your daughter if and when she wants to get her eyebrows waxed. My 11 year old is struggling with her new body hair (underarms) because she spends a lot of time swimming. She felt so self-conscious about it last year she wanted to start waxing so her step-mum rang me while my daughter was on holidays to get my permission to take her to a beautician friend who also waxes a few of the step-mum’s friends girls around the same age. My girl coped ok with the pain but decided that she’d prefer to shave for a few years. I’m fine with that because it was her decision and we’ve talked about leg hair but she doesn’t want to do anything about that until she goes to high school.
I think being open with her helped a lot, and the fact her step-mum and I were on the same page was incredibly beneficial to her being confident enough to talk to both of us about the changes that were happening to her.
Don’t worry, as long as your daughter knows she can approach you and be honest with you, she’ll be just fine.
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That wouldn’t make you a bad Mum at all! You’re giving your daughter a CHOICE for a start and no one could blame you for wanting to protect her from the humiliation you felt, especially when there’s a simple way to fix it
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My now 15yo daughter had no hope with myself and my husband having thick eyebrows – he’s English and I’m Australian! Go figure! Anyway, I eventually gave in and let her start waxing them about 2 years ago after she was getting teased and tried to do it herself! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the result! I’m sure you can picture it. This was despidt me telling her everyone else had the problem, she should stand tall etc etc (and I wasn’t bothering to do mine). So….. play it by ear, see how she feels without making a big deal about it. It really depends on her own self esteem and whether she is being teased at school – sometimes, allowing her to fit in is more important than standing up for your beliefs! Having said all that, I was disappointed on Christmas Day when I overhead my brother in law comment to his 13yo daughter that her brows needed “shaping” – didn’t think that was appropriate – if your dad can’t love you the way you are, without expecting perfection, who will! You’re obviously not a bad mum because you are struggling so much with the decision to do the right thing by your daughter. Good luck with it.
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I lay on my Mum’s lap while she plucked my mono-brow from about age 9! I have a very healthy relationship with my body, and my mother
I didn’t mind getting it done at all, oddly enough, it was kind of a bonding time between my Mum and me…
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My mum and me bonded over waxing our moustaches from when I was about 13. My mum had never done hers before and I was very self conscious about mine so we did it together. I am glad that we did and that she was cool with it. =)
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I think it means that you’re aware of how she might be feeling. My husband & I have had a similar conversation, but our daughter has only just turned 7. She was being teased at school (in year 1, do you believe). We laid out the options for her, with the emphasis on the fact that we love her no matter. She’s decided to do nothing for now.
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i wrote a comment about this above about my friend. i would get onto them at the first sign of her becoming self conscious about it, if that happens.
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Same
My daughter is five, and about to start school. She has thick, black eyebrows that meet in the middle, there is no disguising them. She has never mentioned, but I think once she starts school, other kids might point it out to her, and I’m so worried she will be teased
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i don’t think my friend ever got teased but she was very aware of them
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Thank you everyone!!! Cannot tell you how fantastic it is to read your comments
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What are people’s thoughts on little girls (or boys for that matter) playing with make up as part of their dress ups? I have daughters aged 4.5 years and 2.5 years and they love putting makeup on and dressing up. I’m cautious about not making a big fuss about it when they do but as they see me put on make up they want to do the same as part of their role playing. They often ask why I wear makeup and I find it hard to come up with a reason that doesn’t make me sound like I’m trying to improve my looks?? Thoughts?
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I think I’m lucky – I very seldom wear make up so my kids see it as something I do when I’m going out – to dinner, to an event of some sorts…I’ve always been careful to not say “it makes me look pretty” but just something along the lines of “I like how it looks” not how it makes me look…
Oh – and my girl loved loved loved dressing up and kids make up and nailpolish and is now at age 11 the biggest tom boy who will only wear shorts and go near nailpolish if it is black!
I would love to get her into a dress sometimes but it is a battle often not worth having
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My two older girls who are 8 and nearly 5 play with make-up and have regularly received it for birthday gifts since they were both 4 years old. I personally would prefer them not to have any and at first used to get quite bothered by it but now I treat it as a creative play thing rather than a glamour thing. Having three girls I decided I just had to relax about it a bit more as these things can be inevitable. They both got some good quality kids make-up for Christmas from their Aunt and I keep it in the box of things that require permission to use (eg paints and other messy stuff as we have a toddler in the house!). They have fun doing each other’s make-up and then I get them to take it off with a cleansing wipe before they leave the house or go to bed. I also don’t let them use any cheap and nasty stuff and always check the ingredients.
I will never let them wear it out of the house – I treat it like creative play or ‘dress-ups’ – the same way they wear those awful plastic high heels with their fairy dresses. My 8 year old is allowed to wear lip gloss or lip balm with minimal colour in it out of the house and that’s it.
As long as we keep the rule that they ask first and only do it at home then it works OK.
As far as explaining why I wear make-up… I’ve found that a tough question too and have usually tried to avoid the question. I think last time they asked me I said that women being older like to freshen up their face to make them feel confident. Also have explained in the past that it’s a traditional thing for women to wear make-up.
Good luck!
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I don’t wear or own any make up at all. I have a 3 year old daughter and she often gets into the coloured zinc cream sticks I keep in the bathroom and applies it to her lips and eyelids and cheeks like make up. I think it’s fine. She puts it on and says “I pretty”. I don’t think it is any different to putting on nice clothes or decorated hair thingys. I know this doesn’t answer your question but I just wanted to make the point that I don’t think your daughters use of make up necessarily has anything to do with your use of make up.
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Decoration? Like a pretty necklace
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This show is FUCKED up. I watch it like a car crash. I cry lots but can’t look away and it makes me furious.
The excuses they use are equally fucked up. They indicate they know the bad bad (true) things people say about these shows and are willing to come up with any excuse to continue to inflict these things on their daughters for their own gratification and warped pride. “she wants to do it!” “It’s all about getting up there and showing your personality!”
The girl in the picture up there in the pink dress. That was a particularly sad case. Her mum was an ex “glamour model” (pretty sure that means topless/nudie in England, like page three girls) and was not shy about saying that she wanted her daughter to follow in her footsteps and finish what she started, become rich and make the mother famous too, all at the same time as being quite feircely competitive with her daughter.
The girl was asked by the show producers “describe yourself in three words” she said “Pretty, dumb aaaaaaand…..blonde”. Pretty much says it all.
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I’ve always thought that getting a baby’s ears pierced was brutality. But there’s probably a few people on this forum that have had their babies or young child’s ears pierced. I watched a ‘reality’ kiddy pageant recently on TV – ten minutes was enough. Weirdly, most of the stage mothers were all really large and mega frumpy.
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yeah i did my girls ears when they were babies… i think like 4 momnths or so. Its a bit of a cultural thing but also i did it young so they think nothing of it as they get older and i dont have to deal with the pain.
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I always thought that too but there are cultures where it is normal particularly India I believe (if I’m wrong, I’m sorry) and as far as bad things we can do to children for cultural reason peircing their ears just doesn’t register on the very bad scale with me.
And then my daughter at age 7 asked to have her ears done ( I have mine – 4 holes in each) and measuring that against all the other piercing etc that is going on I thought well- why not – granted she had it done, with a needle at a proper peircing salon (NEVER if you can help it be periced by a gun – it causes tissue damage and scarring)
But – the pagents and shaving and waxing of children to me is just wrong. I have heard of parents who wax their girls legs from the age of 10 so they “never get hairy”
*sigh*
Am wondering if somewhere out there there are mothers getting their little girls brazillians to save them the hassle when they get older…
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I don’t have my ears pierced and, curiously was always the teen rebel for it! Because I was the only girl without my ears ‘done’, everyone would look in wonder! Go figure! I imagine younger people without tattoos will be as ‘weird’ the way things are going.
I have to say, I agree with you, I wouldn’t condone young very children getting their ears pierced. I think the children should at least be old enough to ask for it, and understand what it means. I don’t think it looks ‘cute’ on little ones (nor adults for that matter – women’s earlobs end up sagging like older breasts!), but I’m certainly not up in arms about the practice.
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sadly this is only one aspect of the world-wide phenomenon: Child Rearing as a Competitive Sport. no longer is it enough for your child to be nurtured, happy, self-confident and, ultimately, independent human beings, every child must now compete.
most ‘beautiful’, smartest, best at sport, music, art … even tallest for age (i kid you not – have overheard heated debate as to how old their child is and where they are on the height percentile). parents of skinny kids even boast about how high their child’s metabolism is … ummm?
swimming classes are no longer for safety, health and water confidence, they are now about PBs, Swim Club, and making the regional squad. neither is footy about learning some skills and working together as a team, it is about the medals at the end of the season and playing in the As.
feel free to insert your own example here: i HAD a friend with a Gifted and Talented child who no longer talks to me after my son was asked to join the local Conservatorium youth band, but not hers. seems all was good as long as she held some conferred superiority …
there will always be times when our children WANT to compete, to participate at a high level, and we all have to find our own way of supporting them, but when it becomes a reflection of our own insecurities and unfulfilled ambitions, RUN!
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I agree. Have you seen the furore surrounding Amy Chua in America? She advocates cracking the whip from birth, even banning her children from leisure activities and rejecting her child’s handmade birthday card because it was apparently subpar. http://gawker.com/5729862/i-wish-my-chinese-mother-screamed-at-me-more-often
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is she serious … i can’t tell!?! is this dictate or parody? as for homemade birthday cards, i can hardly move for the boxes of treasured items my children have made me.
was reading through my comment again and i realise how ripped off i feel when someone tries to diminish the enjoyment i get from my children by making it a competition.
we need an “OATH of Non-Competitive Parenting” where we all agree to NOT participate in these ridiculous ‘wars’. as i saw once at a Palm Sunday march:
Imagine if someone declared War … and no one showed up!
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Completely serious, she has a book coming out. Her daughter has now written a piece defending her upbringing and her mother: http://gawker.com/5736700/perfect-daughter-i-love-my-mean-chinese-mother . I’m 21 now and I love the fact that my dad has kept all sorts of crap I gave him growing up. I agree with you about parenting becoming more competitive. I think this extreme attitide turns children into commodities for their parents’ success and can be incredibly harmful for a child’s self-esteem.
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I agree kids should be kids, have fun play outside with other children, get dirty, fall down, cry, get up. Just seems to be a way that the parents can feel like a minor celebrity. Kids need to learn how to play sport competively but help them learn that winning is good but loosing is also ok as long as they give it “their” (not their parents) best effort, nothing wrong with trying harder next time. This will help them later in life. Too many children these days are getting used too having a first prize given out but then get virtually the same prize for loosing, if they get nothing they cry too much, bad parenting. They need to learn that not every one can win everything. Putting kids into these pageants I believe will make them believe that for the rest of their life they have to have the best clothes the best make up all the time as well as to look the most thinnest (as per the modelling world). They will end up like those stuck up tarts in those hollywood teen high school movies. This is Australia don’t turn it into plastic fantastic Hollywood / USA.
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awesome comment traceyb65
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PLease tell me there’s a law that was broken in the state or jurisdiction that poor child was in at the time. It’s f**king criminal what’s being done to her. On. Film.
*shakes head sadly*
There’s so much pressure on our little girls to grow up quickly, but as parents we have a responsibility to wrap the boundaries around them tightly if it’s not in their best interets. That’s just how it goes. Sometimes, like the time my daughter, aged 10 in year 5, pleaded with me to allow her to shave her legs, I said No. I was the bad guy, but I refused to let her do it.
I struck a deal with her, promising she could shave them in time for her first day of High School. I kept my promise, bought all the good gear, some really nice lotion to moisturisae her legs, took the care to show her how to do it properly. I was a good Mama that day. Very popular and she was the envy of her friends, one of whom said wistfully, ‘I wish my Mum showed me that’.
Some people are brainless, and then they have children. Children’s beauty pagents should be illegal, like child labour, really it should.
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Seems to me that assault occaisioning actual bodily harm would suffice
you’re right it IS criminal.
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Julie, as a side query what is your professional view to using terms like beautiful or gorgeous when addressing your (meaning ones) children?
I have a 2.5yo girl and a 6mo boy and I, while acutely aware of body image issues still find myself referring to them both as my beautiful boy/girl, my gorgeous one etc…
I temper this with lots of positive comments about there abilities – kind clever, strong, brave etc, as another commenter below made mention, but it got me thinking…do I need to be more cautious about this?
It’s funny, because for me when I say it, it equally refers to their beautiful personalities and natures…but they might not get that???
Just be interested to know your thoughts. Hope I’m not sidelining the debate?
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I’m very interested to hear them too, and I don’t have children!
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As a 21-year-old that doesn’t have children, I think using them more as terms of endearment (rather than in regards to their looks), in same way as ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’, is perfectly fine, as long as they still receive compliments for their achievements or abilities, e.g. when sharing, learning to read etc.
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My guess from my personal feeling (remembering what it made me feel when I was told those sorts of things as a kid) is that using beautiful and gorgeous in the way you mean is great. Using it a general way for praise associates being ‘gorgeous’ with being good in general. Being gorgeous becomes interlinked with being kind or friendly.
….it is a fine line though. I tend to think if that really is your meaning (you are gorgeous because you are kind and generous and friendly and smart etc) your child will instinctively ‘get it’.
Maybe? ….Hopefully.
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Hi OneSmallLife – You’re not sidelining this at all! It’s a great question.
I think the way you are going about using the words beautiful and gorgeous to compliment your children is absolutely fine. I use them to describe my stepdaughter but they are used in equal measure to other positive words about abilities, kindness, sharing etc.
The only time that this sort of complimenting could be seen to be worrisome is if a child only ever gets complimented about they way they look (it will become something they then get fixated on or consider to be the most important thing about them) or if they ‘win’ something and that then becomes something they learn they have to do to get parental approval.
Sounds to me like you’re doing an awesome job!
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Thanks Julie (and others!)-
It’s so affirming to be told I’m doing an awesome job.
You’d probably retract that statement however if you could have seen me an hour ago – baby rolling around lounge room unattended and trying out some new squealing sounds while I tried to negotiate with toddler for “three more mouthfuls” for dinner.
Did I say beautiful and gorgeous? How about loud and stubborn!
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i think it’s good to look at our behaviour from time to time and assess what is healthy/working, etc. my 7yo daughter receives many comments on her striking looks, and has started preening in front of the mirror.
i have, like you, always called my children “beautiful”, “handsome” etc (mostly because my Mum never did *sigh*), but i am more careful now to balance it with comments on manners, inner beauty and real achievements … not taking what you are born with for too much for granted.
it’s a daily balancing act and i can only hope i’m getting some of it right!!! xt
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As a mother of three boys I find this extreemly upsetting. I only ever want the best for my children, this includes activites that they choose to do along with the guidence of myself and my husband. For them to be individuals and for nothing bad to ever happen to them. This woman underpins the exact opposited, there is no discussion between the child and parents, the mother is dictating and using here power and authority to manipulate her child into looking a certain way that is accepted and judged by people who do not care about the child or her well being. The judges should be stopped as well as the pagent owners.
There must be alot of money in this industry or it would be stopped. We would not let animals be subjected to this kind of abuse, so why are these parents being allowed to treat the children they love???? in this manner.
Well done for brining this to the wider audience.
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Mothers who subject their children to this bullshit make Livia Soprano look warm and fuzzy!
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Goodness, I remember BEGGING my mum to let me get my ears pierced and I was probably about eight or nine.
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me too and she wouldnt let me do it til i was 10!
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My 8 year old has been begging to get her ears pierced since she was 4. I don’t have a problem with it, but my husband definitely does and has set down 15 as the age at which she can have it done. The unintended consequence of this rule is that when Miss 8 was 6 she told me that she wished that her father would die. Shocked I asked why. She said “so that I can go and get my ears pierced!”
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hee hee I had to wait until I was 18 and could take myself off and do it by myself – and even then dad was annoyed! I then had a mid life crisis and had a second hole done when I was 42 – and it still hurt like crazy!
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Congratulations!
Your Today show appearance has provided Little Miss Bayside with thousands of dollars of free advertising! Not to mention, a huge increase on their website hits, which they’ll most likely consider as a reflection of viewers’ support.
You need to be smart about these types of crusades … you’ve just provided the morons who enter their children into these ego-centric events with all the info they need! Please, please, *DON’T* mention the name/s of these passive child abusers in the media (or on your webpage), it only helps to further their reach.
What we ‘should’ now do is call for a boycott (and perhaps an agressive mailing campaign) against those pathetic parasitic businesses that choose to support such tasteless events.
PS Love your message … just not your method
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Very good point Angela.
I actually did think about that and was shocked when I went to their web page and saw that they say “As featured on The Today Show, Sunrise, Today Tonight, Kerri-Anne…” etc etc
when I know for sure all that coverage was about their 2010 pageant and overwhelmingly negative.
All we can hope is that parents stay away – and it’s $100 entry fee per kid!
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Sorry, I just realised that my comment has come across sharper than intended (although the sentiment still holds).
It ‘should’ have read …
Congratulations on championing this subject!
However, your Today show appearance …
There’s absolutely no doubt that the media and marketing companies are taking advantage of (and perpetuating) human insecurities.
Keep up the good fight, and congrats on being game enough to be a public face!
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What really upset me about this poor little girl was she was clearly screaming NO! So what happens in a few years time and she is with a guy and saying NO! You teach your girls NO means NO….clearly not in this case..how confused are these girls going to be
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Amazing point and so true, I just wanted to grab that girl give her a hug and mess up her hair. Her mother needs to know that her child is an individual human being and not a commodidty that is to be manipulated. Sad for all those potential parents that would be so happy to have a child that is not ‘perfect’…..
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At the risk of playing devil’s advocate, kids scream ‘no’ at a lot of unpleasant things that are in their best interest, such as needle vaccinations, trips to the dentist, eating vegetables, going to bed and having to kiss grandma hello.
Of course this child shouldn’t be getting her eyebrows waxed (I’m also with everyone on the ear-piercing) but, as a parent, sometimes you have to force your kids to do things they don’t want to do. This is an important life lesson because, as an adult, you’ll have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do, such as go to work, clean the house, exercise regularly and pay your bills.
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I was once a beautician and I remember a long term client asking if I could wax her daughters (12?) eyebrows. I had met her daughter a few times, so she knew me and I asked her if she was sure. she said yes, so I took her through the process… hot wax etc. tested it on her skin (inner arm – very heat sensitive btw) so she knew what it would feel like. then I took the smallest amount of hair off. mainly between the eyes (not much hair there). she hated it and we had to stop! I think I got 2 hairs out in the end… needless to say she didn’t want it done again…
I remember feeling so uncomfortable about doing it though, because there was hardley anything there….
I know my 3yo girld will ask one day and I think I will have to go through the whole thing again… but at least she will have asked and I won’t be forcing anything!
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