Genderless kids? Of course some children are born where biology cannot determine whether they are male or female but now some families are choosing to raise their kids ‘ambiguously’ despite firm evidence they are boy or girl.
Why? To protect the child’s right to choose its own gender, and identity, as it grows. A Canadian family has become the latest to take the genderless road.
“When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you intimately, the first question they ask is, ‘is it a boy or a girl?'” Ms Witterick [Storm’s mother] told a Canadian parenting website.
The couple told friends their refusal to answer such questions was “a tribute to freedom in place of limitation.”
“If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs,” Mr Stocker [the baby’s father] said.”
The mother later came out to clarify her stance: “None of my children are gender-free or genderless (and neither am I). Storm has a sex which those closest to him/her know and acknowledge. We don’t know yet about colour preferences or dress inclinations, but the idea that the whole world must know our baby’s sex strikes me as unhealthy, unsafe and voyeuristic.”
Each time I was pregnant, I chose not to find out the sex of my baby. But after the birth, well, it was right up there with one of the things I – and others – were most keen to learn. Makes coming up with a name just that little bit easier, doesn’t it?
This isn’t the first time this has happened, and likely won’t be the last.
A Swedish couple have decided to keep the sex of their child secret as long as possible because – they say – the moment people hear ‘boy’ or ‘girl’, they begin to make assumptions about a child.
According to a story in the New York Times:
The child — called Pop in Swedish papers to protect his or her identity — is now two-and-a-half-years-old, and only a handful of close relatives (those who have changed the child’s diaper) know the sex. Pop’s parents, who are both 24, say they made this decision in the hope of freeing their child from the artificial construct of gender.
“We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother told the Swedish newspaper Svenska Dagbladet last spring. “It’s cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”
Pop wears dresses, and also “male” styled pants, and Pop’s hairstyle changes often, from traditionally feminine to traditionally masculine (and, one would imagine, to some untraditional styles now and then.)
The online Swedish newspaper, The Local, quotes Anna Nordenström, a pediatric endocrinologist at the Karolinska Institute, who won’t even hazard a guess as to the long-term effect such an upbringing could have on a child:
“It will affect the child, but it’s hard to say if it will hurt the child,” says Nordenström, who studies hormonal influences on gender development.
She says if Pop is still “genderless’” by the time he or she starts school, Pop will certainly receive a lot of attention from classmates.
“We don’t know exactly what determines sexual identity, but it’s not only sexual upbringing,” says Nordenström. “Gender-typical behaviour, sexual preferences and sexual identity usually go together. There are hormonal and other influences that we don’t know that will determine the gender of the child.”
Pop will soon welcome a brother, or a sister. Pop’s parents will not reveal the sex of that child, either, except, perhaps, to Pop.
The child of the Canadian couple already has two older brothers – yup, they’ve got a gender apparently.
Obviously, this is a fairly extreme way to make a statement about gender preconceptions. I had all sorts of lofty plans to not play into gender stereotypes with my kids – but that was obviously before I had them. In my own experience of my own kids, so much seems to be hard-wired. Coco is innately girly and drawn to imaginative play and pink. Remy likes to bang things.
But it’s not all stereotypes. Remy also loves the vacuum cleaner and the person he finds most exciting and fun in the world is our cleaner. Coco wants a Spiderman costume and Luca is an awesome chef (if cooking is even seen as a stereotypically female pursuit anymore which I think it’s not).
If you have kids, what do you think about the whole gender thing? And if you don’t, what were you like as a child or what have you noticed among friends’ kids?
What It Means To Give Birth On Country
The Delivery Room
Top Comments
Sex is not as black and white as most people think. lots of people are intersexed. it is just tabbo.
I can't remember the names of the studies but some academics believe that up to 20% of the population are genetically diverse when it comes to their chromosomes. Most are never likely to find out unless them become female elite athletes.
This is quite dreadful.....every person born needs to know who and what they are.It is playing with nature BIG TIME!
As a mother and grandmother.
Just another nutty idea, from nutty people who play games with others lives.
Always one in every few thousand with a thought of doing things back to front!
They are people who like to mess things up big time.Some poor kid will have to pay the price for this one.Can't keep things simple,as they have been for thousands of years! Noooo we have to change the whole plan.
Sure! some people do have conflict, but thats up to them later in life to work that one out...But a baby has no say! and if they think it will be happy being a 'it' THINK AGAIN!