Rachel is a mother to four beautiful children. She lost her baby Hamish in a tragic accident on the 4th of October 2012. Since then, she has created a blog where she shares her thoughts, feelings and her grief.
By RACHEL
The last time I lay my beautiful little boy down for his daytime nap, I lay him in his cot, placed his special quilt over him, looked him directly in the eye and smiled. “I love you,” I told him. I don’t know why but I said it slowly and deliberately.
He smiled and squirmed with happiness. I walked out and he immediately rolled over and went to sleep. He was like that. I never had to settle him as a baby. As long as he had his blanket, he would stick out his little tongue (he sucked it like a dummy) and go straight to sleep.
When he woke up just after midday, my sister and his two cousins were at our house and he smiled and laughed as we all sat down and ate hotdogs. He’d never had one before (not the healthiest lunch around) and enjoyed it immensely.
Later in the day, I realised he had a dirty nappy, so I did a bit of a rushed nappy change in the back of the car whilst he squirmed and giggled. I bought Hamish a small ice cream cone and my sister Kelly fed it to him lick by lick while he shouted, “More! More!”
For some reason it was not a good food day. Normally, he’d eat loads of fruit (banana, kiwifruit and strawberries were his favourite) and at least one avocado sandwich. After ice-cream the kids ran around on the grass and Hamish joined them for a bit before finding flowers to pick for me. As he handed me a dandelion, I said “thank you Hami” and gave him a kiss (my last one).
Soon after we returned home that afternoon our nightmare began.
Top Comments
Hi Rachel, thanks so much for sharing your story and trying to create awareness as well! I like you had a tragic incident where I also found my little man floating and unconscious at just 16 months of age, whllst I was busy unpacking boxes in my new home!Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this could happen to me? I also have older children as well! I fortunately was able to resuscitate him... but, I had no home phone, no one else was home and no one came to my screams! I was just lucky that day and because CPR was all I had and I truly did feel let down by the way I did the training year after year to get the tick in the box, I took what I learnt from this experience in an attempt to benefit others and developed my Training Academy and Safety products, so others don't have to go through what we have! This has also changed my life as well and I gave up my career of Engineering to create this to help others avoid our pain and to be able to protect their families as well! I would love to connect with you on Facebook or something as I love what you are also doing...so, it really does give your life purpose... keep up the great work and if interested, connect with me on Facebook...just look for Tammy Richie!
I am very moved and saddened by your terrible loss. I am mourning for loved ones myself and understand the weight on your shoulders. I will pray for you and your family, and for Hamish. He is living in the eternal light, in the wind, in the twinkle of the stars. He belongs to you forever and will embrace each one of you with love when the time comes. You will hear him in your heartbeat and in your laughter. Let your family's love, and Hamish's love, lift the weight from our shoulders and lighten your heart. One day at a time.