Kids shows like Dora the Explorer open up conversations about race. However, they also teach kids that dogs talk.
By ZACH ROSENBERG
Nothing illustrates our insecure feelings about race like a child.
When children learn about diversity, there’s an incredible potential to “get them early” and send them down a pathway that promotes judging people based on the content of their character, not the color of their skin. There are a couple of ways you can achieve this—and ignoring race isn’t one of them.
My family is white. And aside from our son’s African American godfather and a handful of friends of color, my son doesn’t encounter too many people that look different from him.
We don’t want to treat people as if they’re colorless, that method doesn’t celebrate people’s wonderful differences. But we don’t want to lay it on so thick that our son gets the impression that we should point racial differences out all willy-nilly.
Children’s television does a fair job at introducing diversity; with shows like “Dora the Explorer” and “Ni Hao Kai Lan,” kids are introduced to the concept of different languages and skin colors. But then again, television also teaches kids that dogs talk and purple dinosaurs get all huggy when you share.
Nevertheless, shows like “Dora” and “Kai Lan” open up candid conversations about race, and that’s important. But sometimes, those conversations come back up at the worst times.
Case in point: my wife and I took our son to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. “Do I like the Chinese, Daddy?” my son asked.
“Chinese food…yes.” I nervously replied.
He continued: “Do the Chinese have water, daddy?”
Now things were getting weird.
“Is that Chinese painting?” he asked, pointing to the art on the wall.
“Is that Chinese music?” His voice is getting louder. My shushing and uncomfortable nodding is not tipping him off. I mean, he’s three.
“Is that man Chinese?” He stands up and points to a man walking to the bathroom. No, I answer through my teeth. I didn’t mention that he was most likely Latino, because that would just complicate everything.
Days later, my wife had our son in a store. An African American employee helped my wife find an item, and in the process, sneezed. After he had walked away, my son mentioned that he got “black sneeze” on him. My wife was mortified even though no one (probably) heard.
“He has a black face.” Technically correct…
Even the President isn’t out of range; during the elections, my son saw President Obama on the news and said “that’s the President.”
“It IS,” my wife and I proudly exclaimed.
“He has a black face,” my son added. My proudly-pumped fist turned into a hiding spot for my face as my wife groaned “we don’t say that about people.”
But, he must have thought, it’s true, right?
It is. But how do you explain to a child the right times and ways to identify race? As a father, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about all the right ways of saying “people are all different.” I once even took a knee next to him with a map and attempted to explain that people come from different places and those places all make different looking people.
I haven’t yet figured out how to stop my son from needlessly identifying race, however. Because to me it’s not important, but to him, race is an identifier, and he’s not aware of the multitude of ways throughout history that race, color and culture have been used as a weapon or a means to hurt others.
Maybe I’m being too sensitive. Maybe I’m just supposed to keep teaching my son about racial differences, but take public embarrassment in stride, reminding him that you just don’t point out race when you don’t need to. But still, when do you need to? Never? Only when it’s about something good? Only during the United States Government-approved so-and-so-history-months? That doesn’t seem right.
I guess my son and I will learn it together.
Zach Rosenberg is a husband and father living in Southern California. He is co-founder of fatherhood news site 8BitDad.com, and a contributor to HLNtv.com. You can also find him on Twitter @zjrosenberg.
Comments
72 Comments so far
I don’t see the issue here.
Just explain to him that it doesn’t matter what color people are or if their eyes are squinted or whatever.
“We Don’t do that” is just a way to make them more confused and thus curious.
If he’s interested in other Cultures, expose him to other cultures. When I used to live in Texas there were Oriental Art Expositions, where I pretty much became obsessed with Ancient East Asia.
Races ARE different from each other, on more levels than one. Its not healthy to ignore that fact, rather we must acknowledge it as being a part of that culture and to not judge them upon it.
I can say a man is black, I am only stating the truth, but the issue arises when the only point I focus on is his race, or If I avoid his race altogther.
Some people are proud of their genetic heritage. Just think… Of all the hardships your ancestors have been through, they’re genetics have survived long enough to create you. Isn’t that something to be a LITTLE proud of?
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We have spent the last few years living in PNG and have been in Bangkok since September.
Our girls were 2 and 3 when we first moved. Both started preschool full time where all teachers were PNG nationals and most kids were not of Caucasian background (PNG, mixed race, Indian, African, Asian, SE Asian).
It has never been an issue in our house as it is “the norm”. My eldest came home from preschool one day and said “I have the same skin as Amelia. Sophia has the same skin as Lucy”. Just an observation, same as “I’m the same height as…”
One day I was chatting with our housekeeper. I was talking about Malaysia. She said “what colour are Malaysian people?” I replied “like coffee with milk”. She wasn’t being racist, just curious.
My point is that there was no value judgement with these observations.
It’s hard when kids say things that aren’t PC. But usually they aren’t saying it to be mean or racist. Often it’s just a statement if fact.
After all, most people with dark skin are aware of that! Most Asian people are aware of that fact too.
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I was at the airport with my 4 year old daughter and we were at the baggage carousel and there was a woman in a burqa and my daughter yelled out “mummy look its a ninja” … I was MORTIFIED to say the least I apologised to the woman and quickly gathered my luggage and left. I am so conscious of what is said around children and I asked my daughter why she said that or believed the woman was a ninja and she said she picked it up from one of the other kids parents…. *sigh* you can only do your best in terms of setting an example to them and they pick up bad habits from others….
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I think 3-4 is the age when kids become aware of each other and the differences between them. At my daughter’s preschool, most of the teachers are Indian, so there is lots of descriptions like “my hair is yellow like the sun”, my skin is pale, yours is dark, etc.
In Year 2, the kids had to draw a picture of themselves. The kids each coloured in their faces as they saw themselves – peach, pale yellow, light brown and dark brown. They compared skin colour with each other, decided what colour they were then went ahead and shared the crayons.
It is what it is right? The kids accept each other easily enough, why do we adults complicate things?
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kids just say it as it is, I remember waiting at the doctor’s with my little sister when she was about 3, a rather big lady walked in & the first thing my sister does is say ‘look how fat she is!’ at the top of her lungs, very embarrassing for both me & my mum & the poor lady
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My kids ask questions, I just try to answer them honestly and don’t let any embarrassing remarks bother me. What I do find mortifying, though, is my 5yo’s insistence at loudly pointing out stranger’s footwear, generally something like “that person is wearing slippers (ugg boots), you can’t wear slippers at the shops!” or “that silly person has no shoes on!”
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one of our shop rules (ie, don’t run away, don’t touch unless mummy says, don’t make Mummy crazy) is that you can talk about what other people look like, but you have to do it quietly, just to Mummy.
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Kids just say it like it is…my daughter was about 4 and we were in line at Coles behind a rather large woman and she said top note….. ‘mummy, that lady has eaten waaaaaaaaay too much!’.
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I remember when our twins were 6 and they made us breakfast (toast) in bed for our anniversary. I got two pieces of barely toasted bread and my husband got two pieces of very burnt toast. We were joking about who is the more loved parent based on what we got and the kids piped up and informed us that I got white toast with a little bit of brown to match my skin and their father got burnt toast to match his black skin.
It was the first time they had really raised the fact that their parents are different colours and they did it with toast. Bizarre.
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Love
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Out of the mouths of babes, great.
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I remember being mortified when I moved to a new, predominantly anglo-saxon school in grade 2 (from a pretty multi-cultural inner city school). As the new kid, I was excited to find a group of girls who took my under their wong– only to be told that I would have to play the role of a girl who was burnt in a house fire… because my skin was brown, obviously!
I think as adults, we do have a responsibility to make efforts to include people from different races, countries, ethnicities and religions within our lives. Its really easy and comfortable (for everyone) to stay in our own circles, but there is so much amazing stuff to learn from people from different walks of life!
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When I was three my mother took me to the beach, having never seen dark skinned people before I went up to group of dark skinned africans and started to touch their skin and pat them as I had never seen people like that before. My mother was horrified.
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My kids best friends are Indian/Australian . They have known them since they were born. They have not commented on it very much.
Once when they asked why they were different. I explained people are like ice cream some are vanilla some are chocolate and others are caramel- all yummy but different.
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Over the years, every single one of my nieces have stared intently at my smile and explained to me that I have very big teeth. They were all aged between 3 and 4 when they let me know. As an adult you just have to take it on the chin and see the funny side. Kids dont have a filter because of their innocence.
When my husband was very young he asked his mum “Why is that man black?” The man heard, leaned down and said with a smile “Because you were born in the day and I was born in the night” This was a very satisfactory answer to my then 3 year old husband
Kids are not blind and adults are not simple. We all understand that kids are bound to say things that are innocent and also embarrassing for their parents!
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There a big difference from identifying race and being racist. And a 3 yr old pointing out that someone is black or Chinese or whatever is certainly not wrong (not too sure about that black sneeze comment however.) Differences are something to be celebrated, it’s only when those differences are used as a way to abuse or put down another person that it becomes a problem.
And your story reminds me of the time my 4 yr old loudly asked in Bunnings if a man was having a baby because of his rather large beer gut.
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We live in a very ethnic diverse community and it wasn’t until my daughter was 3.5yo and we were talking about her Papua NewGuinean preschool teacher who’d taughther for over 12mths that we realised daughter had never noticed the skin colour. Her teacher was ‘just Grace’.
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When my daughter was younger we got in to a very long conversation with me trying to answer her question: “Why does that lady have dark brown skin?”. My first answers were about country of origin, and included details about how people with darker brown skin have better protection against sunburn, and people with lighter skin started living in areas which were colder and had less sunslight, etc. etc. But nothing seemed to satisfy her, until we got to the crux of her question, with the answer actually being very simple: You get what your parents have; that lady had dark brown skin, because her parents had dark brown skin. You have light brown skin, because your parents have light brown skin.
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Like all 3yr old girls, my daughter LOVES babies. My daughter saw a newborn in a pram recently and said to the mum
“you have a beautiful black baby. I have a beautiful black baby at home too”.
At which point this lady looks at me and my very white 16mth old son in the trolley.
My daughter notices and says “NO, not him, my black baby is a GIRL. Shes at home sleeping and looking after kitty”.
At this point I had to fairly awkwardly explain that she’s talking about her doll at home, which is black, and not a baby I have left at home looking after our cat!
It’s simply a difference that kids notice. Just like my daughter likes to notice big boobs, red hair and pretty shoes.
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The famous story in my house is when I was about 3 and mum was sitting in David Jones, explaining to me about the White invasion of Australia and the Stolen Generation. Just as she concluded, an Aboriginal man walked past us. I jumped up on my seat, pointed and yelled “Look mum! We didn’t kill all of them!!”
She. Was. Mortified.
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One of my 4-year old daughters pointed out one of the mums at daycare (when we were passing her by) saying: That big lady is Flynn’s mum. Well, she is quite big in all respects, and I was embarrassed, but the other mum didn’t say anything.
I explained to my little one that you do not say that to other people. But it is clear that she only noticed the difference (the identifier) and did not try to be discriminating in any way.
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Kids say things as they are and if the people around them are not speaking in racist tones, you can safely assume that when they say ‘that man is black’, they’re simply pointing out someone who looks different to them or their immediate family members.
My response would be ‘yes, people are all different colours and sizes’, and then move on with the day.
Similar to how you address sexual questions at this age, you only need to respond to the immediate question/statement and not go into any other detail until they ask another question on the topic. Maybe at a later stage is the time to explain that the correct term is African American.
Just by embracing and to shutting out other cultures in your day to day life, you are doing the right thing and setting the right example.
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Perfect!
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What is wrong with saying someone is black or white? All that ‘African American’ stuff baffles me, especially here in Australia. Are you assuming all black people you encounter are American? Ridiculous!
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When I was young I’d call all Aboriginals ‘Tiny Pinder’. I grew up in a rural WA town and my Dad taught at a school that was majority Aboriginal students .. apparently I called them all ‘little Tiny Pinder’s’ …
My Mum was mortified. And that was pre-Pinder’s sex scandal!
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My three year old daughter raced inside the other day to tell my husband about the ‘black man with the parcel at the door’, which she yelled at the top of her lungs. He half smiled, but then laughed when she followed it up with ‘he’s beautiful!’
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When I was about 6 my mum brought home a black boyfriend. I apparently exclaimed “oh my god, it’s Mr T!”.
Still mortified to this day.
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When my son was little he told me that all brown dogs are Chinese.
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Funny story: when my sister and I were about 3-4, we went to the city with our mum and got into a taxi to get somewhere else. The taxi driver was black and I asked my mother when the man had last had a bath/shower. “What are you talking about?” she asked.
“He’s covered in so much dirt that he’s turned brown!” I replied.
(Luckily, we are Russian and this conversation was in Russian and the driver had no clue what I’d said.)
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My son said a very similar thing when he was 3. The difference was we were in Barrow Creek, NT, he was talking about a group of aboriginal men, loudly, and of course they could understand. They did laugh however, as I dragged him off explaining that their skin was brown…..
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My fair skinned daughter, who is 5 and recently told her 4 year old olive skinned brother(both are 1/4 Japanese! ) that ” You need to start speaking a different language now because you are SO brown”……. I asked what language that would be and was told Spanish – they both think all other languages other than English are Spanish (thanks Dora) and occasionally Japanese!!
I think kids will notice differences and our reply to them will be the factor that affects how they deal with those differences in the future. Mine are used to seeing Japanese nana but have commented on much darker skinned people in the past.
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to use your own words:
it us an identifier
but its not that important
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I remember when the boys were at daycare and they would come home saying things like ‘we played with the brown boy’ and it wasn’t until they said ‘we played with the blue boy’ that I realised that they were identifying their best mate by the colour of his shirt!!
The best way, we have found, to get past the racist thing is to give kids a chance to hang out with kids from lots of different backgrounds. Yes they talk about the physical differences a bit, but mostly they just play with each other and hang out based on whether they like each other. And in the end, the physical differences become irrelevant. Race only sticks out if you live in a mono-cultural segment of society.
My boys now have friends from Nepal, Ghana, Bangladesh, China, etc, and they like each other because of what’s on the inside. When boy2 was 5 he told me “When I am 16, Xyan is going to take me to Bangladesh to visit his family. It’s really far away. Xyan says it takes two planes to get there.”
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all kids will point out differences, be they colour, size, missing limbs. the point is to not be so politically correct. I had a book of different races/ countries/ customes all written for children to learn their alpahbet, it was fun but they still pointed out people who were different.
i was more embarrassed when my son loudly proclaimed that “that man doesnt have a leg”!!!!!
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My kids have a Sri Lankan father and me, a freckly, fair skinned, green eyed whitey. The two boys are also green eyed and quite fair (but nothing compared to me!) and my daughter is dark and looks exactly like the women on her father’s side. My 9 year old son said to me at a market on the weekend “I don’t mean to be racist or anything, but Asians have the best stuff”. I assured him that it wasn’t racist to say positive things about people of different races and it is OK to make observations like that.
My daughter had a friend over on the weekend (teenagers). Her friend has a white mum and an Aboriginal dad. They were mucking around and her friend joked to my daughter something about going back to her own country… I wanted to jump in and have a go, but they both thought it was hilarious. I think sometimes we take things a little too seriously. But the thing is that both these girls are mixed raced (beautiful, by the way) so does that make it OK for them to joke about it? Neither of them are in any way racist and I have never heard them say or do anything negative towards anyone because of their race/religion, but they do often joke between themselves…
I sometimes wonder if people think I took the wrong baby home from the hospital when we are out in public and she calls across the room “MUUUUM”
I think kids identifying differences is fine – good even. Judging people because of those differences – no way.
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I think joking between friends is ok, me & my friends were all different races & would often make ‘racist’ jokes to each other & no one thought it was offensive at all
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I don’t think you should be too concerned about his questions – after all, asking a multitude of questions, some of which may cause you slight discomfort, is what a 3-yr-old does. We are lucky that my husband and his family are Chilean, so my children have known about race differences since they were born. And my daughter’s best friend is Indonesian – never been mentioned nor has it been an issue. What I did find strange was when I discribed someone as Asian and my 13-yr-old daughter accused me of being racist. I explained to her that I was not being racist (I was not saying anything bad about the person, just that they were Asian) and that using race as a descriptive is no different than saying someone has black hair or blue eyes. It goes to show that sometimes we can go too far in our attempts not to be racist. For us, race is not an issue and it is not something we even discuss with our children. A person’s race is just one part of who they are – and would you have a discussion with your children regarding people with black hair versus people with red?
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When he was 3-4 my son was saying racist comments, even though he himself had a black parent. He would tease his sister for being brown (she was slightly darker than him), and saying he didn’t like a particular person because they are brown, and that he liked all the people on Hi-5 except (name of one person) because she is brown. Anyway, we managed to influence him so he is now proud to call himself brown.
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How bizzare S.. What/where do you think the influence was in the first place to think like that?
My cousin has 2 children with a Maori and they are 3-4 ish years old &have turned out olive appearance but I have never hear them refer to brown etc..
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I wonder if he had been teased about being ‘brown’ and decided to pass that on to his sister to make himself feel better?
I loved the movie Redemption about Stanley Tookie Williams, Crips founder in LA. He said that black people are at war with each other in the US because the whites have taught them that being black is something to be ashamed of. I don’t explain it as well
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My (very) white cousin married a man of pacific island descent. As he had the same name as another relative, things could get confusing at times. My younger brother was about three and telling a convoluted story that involved both men. As my mother and grandmother were getting confused and he was getting frustrated, he finally exclaimed ‘NO! I’m talking about BLACK Donny’. He wasn’t being racist – simply trying to find a defining characteristic with limited world experience. He had no way of understanding surnames, familial relationships etc, and simply went for the most obvious way of making himself clear. I suspect that is what your son is doing – not being racist, but rather using racial traits to make sense of and explore his world.
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I do think you are being a bit to sensitive… Ppl do come in differ t colours so do animals cars alot of things… I work in a daycare centre and kids don’t care about race yes they see some one has black hair someone has blonde but it doesn’t go further then that, I had two little boys sitting next to me one day one was African and one had white blonde hairy hey boys were looking at their hands and said you have black ski. And I have gold skin here but when we do this ( they turned teir hands so both palms are up) we are the same… I loved that and it has stuck with me for the last 10 yrs!
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I love this comment! My 2.5yo son told his daycare teacher “you have black hair and I have golden hair!”
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As many others have said, your child wasn’t being racist.
It is racist to *judge* someone on difference, not to *note* the difference. Even using it as the easiest means of specifying who you’re talking about *could* be fine, as long as the child doesn’t *overly* define others by their race (i.e. any more than he defines himself or you by your heritage).
The questions in the Chinese restaurant were merely about attempting to understand how the various aspects of Chinese race and culture knit together. The comment about ‘black sneeze’ was perhaps more problematic, but I think you could deal with this humorously. Next time the kid sneezes on you (you know it will happen!), you say, “Ooh, I got (his name) sneeze on me!” Obviously don’t do this if it would upset a very sensitive child, and stop the ensuing discussion before the child is feeling awkward and move on to something else. You could learn a lot from how flippant or otherwise your child’s response is to this comment.
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When I was a child, mum explained to me that people from different countries sometimes looked different… and as only a three year old can, I interpreted that as meaning they had their arms and legs in different places. I understand now though!
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Your son wasn’t being racist.
He was merely noticing something that you may not want him to notice….the unbelievable truth that yes, we are all different !
Yes, we eat different styles of food. Yes, sometimes our music can be different. And yes, people speak a myriad of different languages.
He will observe and accept many facets of the different cultures that he comes in contact with. No doubt your son will become a valued member of society despite the fact that he is making gloriously unpolluted and honest observations about the world around him and those who inhabit it.
He’s only three. Don’t drown him in political correctness just yet. He has an entire lifetime for you tutt-tutt this and tutt-tutt that when he says things that you have been trained not to say.
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I was aware of world cultures as a child, but never really differenciated people by appearance. My suburb was dominantly white, but there were people with what I considered ‘exotic, beautiful’ faces in my class, and I didn’t realise they had different racially different backgrounds (Most people I couldn’t ‘identify’ til my teens when I had an aquaintance who used to tag everyone by race “that african guy who..” “can you see that lebanese man over there?”)
My mum didn’t think colour/race was an issue I needed to learn. She taught me all people are different from each other (in many ways), yet all are valuable, and have rights and feelings.
I remember being the first foreigner a two year old Thai girl had encountered. At first she was suspicious of my appearance, but when her older sisters played with me, she lost her fear.. And started touching my nose~ It’s quite pointy and I think looked really strange to her.
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I don’t think you need to teach your child to ignore race or disability. If my son mentions someones skin colour we acknowledge it and say yes people have lots of different skin colours. We don’t make a big deal out of it so he knows that the colour of our skin isn’t important. I think if you make situations weird or uncomfortable then kids think the differences are important.
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Recognising differences is fine. It’s when people start to believe that some differences are better/more desirable than others that racism arises.
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Exactly. It’s totally acceptable to say “that’s Chinese food or Chinese music” because it recognises the culture and history. It’s when you add some kind of judgement to the observation that it becomes problematic.
I think the author’s nervousness comes from the concern people might interpret a value judgement if they overhear the observation.
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Our son has never questioned people regarding how they look based on their race, where we get the questions is with disability and gender. He’ll loudly ask ‘why does that person look funny,’ ‘or is that a lady or a man.’ It can be mortifying but we just try and explain things logically and simply.
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Toddlers are observers and they will point out things that are different or things that interest them. “Mum, does that lady have a baby in her tummy?”. No. “Mum, that man has only a little bit of hair on his head” Uh huh. “Mum, why is that man black?”. Because he or his ancestors are from a country where there is so much sun, they need darker skin for protection. “Mum, what is ‘ancestors’?” I should stop talking.
Half the time I really don’t know what to say when I get asked ‘sensitive questions’, but the intent of a three year old asking “why does that man have a black face” is so innocent, surely no one could be offended by it? I wonder what goes through a toddler’s head, though, when we react in a negative way? If we say “oh, but it’s not polite to point out someone who is fat or has no hair or whose skin is a colour we’ve not seen before”, will a three year old start to think that maybe there is something wrong with any of those things?
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Wow, you learn something new everyday. Never knew my skin was black because there is so much sun in Africa and I need my dark skin for protection??? Really, is this true?? vNot being snarky, just want to know.
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Yes it is! Dark skin and even brown eyes are more tolerant to the sun than fair skin and blue/green eyes
And I remember learning at high school that the reason that many people from African countries have broader noses because of the climate too. The broader surface area allows a better cooling process in hotter climates. I’m not sure if that is actually true, because Eskimo’s also have broad flat noses, and they need to keep warm. Hmmm… maybe our history teacher was telling porkies.
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Yep – evolution at work
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It’s melanin that produces the dark colouring in hair, skin and eyes. It also acts as a form of sun protection, although people with darker skin can get skin cancer they get less of it but can have lower levels of vitamin D as they absorb less from the sun so have to be careful in this regard. Freckles and tanning are your body producing melanin in response to sun exposure in an attempt to try to protect it.
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Ahhhh yeah….evolution baby.
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It’s evolution.
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I used to be a nanny for a 2 year old in a small town in Ireland with a small immigrant population. Whenever he saw someone from a local african family who had children going to his sister’s school he would delightfully exclaim “Chocolate!” My friend from the caribbean thought it was hilarious – an innocent observation from a small child. The boys Mum was always embarressed.
I think it’s important to talk about it, not be embarressed about it. It only happened a few times and he was 2 and speaking much yet, so I would always talk about how everyone is different and then point out things like I have red hair and you have brown hair etc.
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My boys have both had times when they are simply stating the fact that someone looks different to them and most of the people we know. And it’s not just race- they do it with fat people, old people, pregnant women, disabled people. Kids are curious, that’s all. It’s our job as parents to not make a big deal out of it, and teach them age appropriate manners and tolerance towards others
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I don’t understand at all why this man is cringing when his child speaks up. Yes, people have different coloured skin. It’s true, why deny it?
Why is he upset that the child is asking if a painting is Chinese? It probably IS a Chinese painting.
As regards the president, why not say it? How about, “Do you think his face is black? I think he’s kind of browny looking.” Then a quick discussion what other coloured skin humans have.. .I have different coloured skin on my arms than I do on my belly. (thank you tan lines).
What about the fur of dogs. ie, all dogs are dogs, but some are little and fluffy and white, and others are big and sleek and black.
These are the kinds of important discussions I have with my 3yrold.
By the way, I am procrastinating because I should be mopping. You can see how this important MM discussion is more pressing than my floors.
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I agree.
“Do I like the Chinese, Daddy?” my son asked. “Chinese food…yes.” I nervously replied.
What? I don’t think it is the child who is racist!!
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My dog is racist. We live inner city and he barks at black people and women in Hijab. It is sooo awkward!
The Sudanese fellows around the corner have been very patient and my pooch (a golden retriever) now goes to them for pats and scratches. But if we’re walking at dusk or beyond our immediate neighbourhood he goes nuts! Women in Hijab I suppose I understand, to him its a lady walking in a tent with just eyes, they’re also generally fearful of dogs so he’d pick up on that too.
This is not something I’ve taught him I need to stress! I actually didn’t notice these factors before we got our dog.
Its very embarassing, and easier to reason and talk to a preschooler vs a quite daft golden retriever.
But I just apologise, ensure he’s securely on a lead and walk on!
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my dog barks at me when i’ve got a hat on, so…
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My dog is racist too! He freaks out whenever a friend of ours comes over, who is a beautifully delicious 6’4 Jamacian man. We have two dogs, same breed, same age – one goes bananas (growling, barking, aggressive behaviour), the other doesnt. BTW – the one that freaks out it white, the other thats ok is black…! Reverse with the cats – the black cat only likes the white dog, the white cat only likes the black dog. I figure there is racial harmony amoungst my animals in some way…!
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Your dog is racist….mine can sing opera !
Whenever anyone of Italian origin visits, he howls some very melodic high c’s.
Only ever when Italians visit ! How amazing is that ?
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I once had a racist ginger cat. It only liked other ginger cats!!
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I was once sitting at a train station with my then 3 year old daughter. Fair skinned, blonde hair, blue eyes. She was sitting next to an Indian man with very dark skin. Their bare arms were right next to each other. She was looking with great interest than said to him ‘excuse me, my skin is soooo white and your skin is soooo dark brown, isn’t it mum? Isn’t that man’s skin so different to mine?!’
Thankfully he thought she was endearing at beamed at her and started chatting about how different their skin, hair and eye colours were.
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Exactly! I’ve always thought that you can’t help children noticing differences in people/places etc. It’s the values that you attach to those differences that shape their future beliefs.
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Spot on! What is wrong with noticing difference as well? It is the values you impart on kids. I have red hair and freckles and that has been noticed by children who have outwardly and boldly pointed it out. Is that a problem? Depends on how they see it, and what their parents teach them about difference. Why is difference a bad thing too?
Why do we have see everyone as the same? In some circumstances, I find Political Correctness worse that the things it is supposed to “correct”. Speaking for other people and the perceived offence. I think it is patronising at times to be honest.
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I agree. The offence that so many feel on behalf of someone else often comes across as very patronising and more than often quite false.
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Agree about it seeming patronising at times.
And the the instance I described above, the last thing I would have wanted was to say to my daughter ‘shh, shh, don’t talk about things like that’. She was just playing ‘spot the difference’ between two humans, and if had shushed her, she would have wondered why and thought it was a taboo thing that people look different.
Obviously as kids grow older we can teach them how to combine manners with general observations what is the point in pretending that everyone looks the same, when we don’t?!
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