Comments on: Mia: Are boys the new girls?

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 01:05:10 +0000

I agree with Archy and Anonymous. What is not often talked about is the obsession much of the female media has with “hunks”. Likewise the female obsession with beauty and body image that our culture is saturated with. Many men are turned off women who have an obsession with “looking like a Goddess”, we want partners who can be real and human rather than fitting an image. As a man, I would much rather have a woman companion who is real and good company, than someone who “looks fabulous”. Many women I have dated are hard to relax with, they are much of the time worried about who is looking at them and comparing themselves with other women. And yes, we men do talk about it – a lot. The media also has an obsession with promoting the image of the “supermum” who works out in the gym and is superbly fit. Many of our TV ads portray fit, slim women, obviously for commercial reasons to sell fashion and product. Much of the move to try and push men down this path is also, I believe, aimed at creating body insecurity and selling product. It is easy to criticise the men, but maybe a little harder to take an honest look at the influence female media and “what women want” plays in all this. I have worked for women editors who insist on “bare-chested firies” anytime men are portrayed. We have unfortunately become a very narciccistic society that in many ways is losing sight of human values. Blessings.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 11:27:40 +0000

Perhaps the reason your son is becoming angry and embarrassed is because you and your husband are “freaking out” and he is picking up on your discomfort?
My mum was visibly uncomfortable when trying to teach me about the birds and the bees. To the point where, when I got my first period, I told my aunty and made her ‘promise not to tell Mum!’. Also, if this is the first time you have broached the subject, at a time when he is entering adolescence, it can make the whole thing a lot more awkward. (It was in my case, anyway) I have 2 boys, ages 3 and 4, and we talk about everything and anything. Just this afternoon my 4 year old asked me, “how does the baby get out of the mum?” after watching Neighbours haha. (Sonia was attempting a home birth ). Since he already has knowledge of penises and vaginas and uteri, I told him the baby travels down a special passage inside the mother and comes out of her vagina. He thought for a moment, and said, “I never want to be a girl!”
Anyway moral of the story is DON’T FREAK OUT. Make it as natural and normal as it is, and avoid saying things like, “Mate we need to have a talk in private… You’re not in trouble or anything….” ’cause it is bound to make a pre-pubescent kid angry and embarrassed.

By: Anon58

Anon58 — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 00:04:30 +0000

I’m in the same situation as you penny. My son is in his 20′s and protein loading as well. He came home from the gym the other week and told me he a trainer there had told him to eat at least 6 eggs a day. I managed to get him to cut it back to 3. He had also cut out carbs and was like a bear with a sore head all the time. He is now eating salads and fruit again, but not as much as I’d like. The advice they are being given is dangerous.

By: macgee

macgee — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 21:17:27 +0000

I’m with you on the manscaping, Fiona, but these young men are part of a generation now that hates any body hair. They don’t like it on women, and young women don’t like it on men. A bit of a generalisation, but that’s what’s happened and it just adds to the body stress.

By: Boys to men

Boys to men — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 16:02:42 +0000

Excellent article. As a mother of now twenty seven yr old son, I agree with the changing emphasis on body image for men.
However, what I am more concerned about is that this goes hand-in-hand with the dumbing down of the role of men in general. The body image seems to have replaced the ‘good man’image ie: kind, caring and above all, responsible and a man of his word. You almost never hear these as being important assests – instead I hear that awful squealing about ‘man-hair’ or heaven forbid ‘back-hair’.
Waxing is now considered ‘good grooming’ but in fact it seems to be because many women want to go out with men with adolecent hairless bodies. Many guys now firmly believe that their body hair is somehow not desirable or attractive – and unatural hairless is preferable – somehow. This is a truth reversal.
This ‘muscle man body’ demand seems to reflect the frivolous atitude of women towards one of nature’s beautiful natural assests – a good man in any shape or form.

By: Archy

Archy — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:32:05 +0000

Speaking as an overweight young adult, yes men and boys do have a lot of self-esteem issues. It’s not all that recent though, even in the 80′s the media was filled with supersized men (Arnie et al.) who were hugeeeely muscled. I have never felt sexy and battle my body image every day, but the difference is with guys they are far less likely to talk about it than women as men are stuck with the stoic machoman routine where they can’t show weakness n so they keep it quiet.

By: Alice

Alice — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:11:48 +0000

Good article. The ridiculous thing is that so few women actually want a beefcake. Women like all different types of body shapes, I suspect with more variation than men.

By: Another Alice

Another Alice — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:09:11 +0000

Wow, that does sound serious. If it was a woman you’d be concerned it was an eating disorder/body dysmorphia type situation, but in men it often gets overlooked. Do you think he should talk to someone about his obsession?

By: Faybian

Faybian — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 10:53:21 +0000

Agree with you. He’s lost perspective and needs help before it gets worse.

By: Fiona

Fiona — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 09:22:25 +0000

I don’t understand this at all. I like men to look like men. I like that my husband doesn’t spend more time than me doing his hair. That the only product he uses is deodorant. Manscaping sounds totally wrong! You need a bit of chest hair to dig your fingers into when things get interesting!