By MIA FREEDMAN
A few years ago, I bought a copy of Dolly magazine for my son. He was about 13 at the time and the idea had been recommended to be by another mother who had done the same for her son when he was the same age.
The thinking was this: the only place today’s teenage boys learn about sex is from looking at porn on the internet. Not ideal. Not realistic. Not particularly instructive when it comes to understanding how girls work – physically or emotionally.
Having once been Ed-In-Chief of Dolly and having been a massive reader-fan when I was a teenager myself, I’ve always known this: Dolly Doctor is AWESOME. Same with the advice pages in Girlfriend magazine.
All the advice is written by Australia’s leading (adult) experts in adolescent physical and mental health and all the questions are legitimately from readers (at least they were when I was there) which means they’re indicative of the issues teens are facing – whether we like it or not.
So.
As I used to instruct parents of Dolly’s younger readers back when I worked there, I flicked through the mag before I left it lying casually around to see what kinds of things he might be reading and seeing.
Well. Do you know what struck me? The bodies. Not of the girls so much as the boys. While girls appeared in the fashion shoots and features, there were pages and pages of pin-ups of boys. Boys from bands, from TV, from movies. And they all looked exactly the same: shirts off, hugely muscled chests and arms, 6 packs (even 8 packs), hairless.
So I ripped out all the pages and threw them in the bin. I didn’t want my son to get the message that there is only one type of ‘hot’ guy that girls like – one who looked as if they’d been inflated with a pump of some kind and then roasted like a chicken.
For a while now, body image experts have warned of the dramatically rising tide of boys and young men struggling with poor body image and you can’t help but link it back to this new pop culture aesthetic of cut, buff, six-packs on sticks.
Because that most definitely is a new thing. When I was growing up, that look was synonymous with gay men. Straight boys might have had good bodies but that came naturally from sport not going to the gym and chugging protein powder. Boys never used to strut around without their shirts on because that whole chiseled look just wasn’t currency. In fact it would have been considered try-hard.
Times have changed.
News reports over the weekend suggested teenage boys are spending hours every day working on their fitness and physique. Schools are apparently having to put bans on the number of hours boys spend in the gym. Whilst body image and eating disorders are evident problems with young women, it appears that experts believe teenage boys are catching up.
This from News Limited:
The truth is, the six-days-a-week workouts and protein-heavy diets are most likely only giving the illusion of fitness, Butterfly Foundation chief executive Christine Morgan says.
“It probably is the opposite because we know that the healthiest approach is a balanced diet and healthy, balanced exercise, and when something tips into excessive then you’re getting into really dangerous territory,” she says.
The report suggested the new body obsession could be exacerbated by social media sites like Facebook and Instagram (where people upload photos for users to ‘like’) and that too much emphasis on looks could lead to a psychological disorder known as muscle dysmorphia – or ‘reverse anorexia.’
According to this article from The Conversation, one third of adolescent boys wish to be thinner, while more than a third desired to be larger than their current size.
Similar to women’s magazines, men’s publications are now filled with articles that concentrate on their readers’ worries and inadequacies. As images of men became more prevalent in the media, a new sociocultural standard of beauty for men seems to have emerged: a hyper-masculine, muscled, powerfully shaped body.
The questions experts are now pondering is whether these images will promote a ‘standard’, and whether or not it will replicate the “standard” teen girls think is acceptable – that of the super thin model.

Everywhere men turn, they're confronted with sculpted bodies and the 'ideal' look.
Have you noticed a change in the way men are portrayed in the media? Do you have any teenage boys or young men in your world who are overly interested in their own bodies?









Comments
43 Comments so far
Excellent article. As a mother of now twenty seven yr old son, I agree with the changing emphasis on body image for men.
However, what I am more concerned about is that this goes hand-in-hand with the dumbing down of the role of men in general. The body image seems to have replaced the ‘good man’image ie: kind, caring and above all, responsible and a man of his word. You almost never hear these as being important assests – instead I hear that awful squealing about ‘man-hair’ or heaven forbid ‘back-hair’.
Waxing is now considered ‘good grooming’ but in fact it seems to be because many women want to go out with men with adolecent hairless bodies. Many guys now firmly believe that their body hair is somehow not desirable or attractive – and unatural hairless is preferable – somehow. This is a truth reversal.
This ‘muscle man body’ demand seems to reflect the frivolous atitude of women towards one of nature’s beautiful natural assests – a good man in any shape or form.
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I agree with Archy and Anonymous. What is not often talked about is the obsession much of the female media has with “hunks”. Likewise the female obsession with beauty and body image that our culture is saturated with. Many men are turned off women who have an obsession with “looking like a Goddess”, we want partners who can be real and human rather than fitting an image. As a man, I would much rather have a woman companion who is real and good company, than someone who “looks fabulous”. Many women I have dated are hard to relax with, they are much of the time worried about who is looking at them and comparing themselves with other women. And yes, we men do talk about it – a lot. The media also has an obsession with promoting the image of the “supermum” who works out in the gym and is superbly fit. Many of our TV ads portray fit, slim women, obviously for commercial reasons to sell fashion and product. Much of the move to try and push men down this path is also, I believe, aimed at creating body insecurity and selling product. It is easy to criticise the men, but maybe a little harder to take an honest look at the influence female media and “what women want” plays in all this. I have worked for women editors who insist on “bare-chested firies” anytime men are portrayed. We have unfortunately become a very narciccistic society that in many ways is losing sight of human values. Blessings.
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Speaking as an overweight young adult, yes men and boys do have a lot of self-esteem issues. It’s not all that recent though, even in the 80′s the media was filled with supersized men (Arnie et al.) who were hugeeeely muscled. I have never felt sexy and battle my body image every day, but the difference is with guys they are far less likely to talk about it than women as men are stuck with the stoic machoman routine where they can’t show weakness n so they keep it quiet.
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Good article. The ridiculous thing is that so few women actually want a beefcake. Women like all different types of body shapes, I suspect with more variation than men.
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I don’t understand this at all. I like men to look like men. I like that my husband doesn’t spend more time than me doing his hair. That the only product he uses is deodorant. Manscaping sounds totally wrong! You need a bit of chest hair to dig your fingers into when things get interesting!
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I’m with you on the manscaping, Fiona, but these young men are part of a generation now that hates any body hair. They don’t like it on women, and young women don’t like it on men. A bit of a generalisation, but that’s what’s happened and it just adds to the body stress.
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Enjoyed the pics so thanks for that. On a serious note though, I feel a bit pleased that its not just us women who have to worry anymore. My boyfriend definitely feels this preassure to be hot and muscly, works out most days and is constantly upset that he looks fat. To the point that when I asked why we weren’t having sex as much as we used to, he said it was mostly because he was embarassed to nude up with me! I think he’s gorgeous, and I’m no prize pig, but it makes me sad that it’s all affecting him so much, the preassure to be ‘beautiful’.
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The media is pressuring everyone to look a certain way.
Sorry….we all weren’t born that way.
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The other question is, what do you do about the ones that don’t care (to an unhealthy degree… severely overweight, or even the hipsters that are severely underweight…)?
Is it one extreme or the other with males?
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Hi Mia,
There has always been a media ideal for guys however have definitely noticed the look is more metro nowadays.
Having worked in the fitness industry, I’ve seen that guys are pumpin’ iron and restricting their diets like no tomorrow. They’re more carb phobic than the girls!
It’s sad that that body dissatisfaction has become such an issue. The government’s voluntary code of conduct for the media is NOT ENOUGH. Should we go far to consider mandatory codes or ban unrealistic ads/media images?
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I definitely see a change in the way men are portrayed everywhere. I commented on this a few months ago on a story here – MM are just as guilty. Why is it OK to post photos of Magic Mike actors and Olympic rowers with their bits showing through tight shorts? That would never be OK to do if it was a woman.
I’m not at all surprised that men and boys are feeling the same pressure as females.
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What I find really disturbing is the amount of tv stars and movie stars (and I’m talking men) who have lost so much weight. You expect the women to be stick insects, but some of the guys are just frail looking now. – the guy from NCIS comes directly to mind. The probie, not Tony.
I’m really sad now that in the tv/media industry there doesn’t seem to be either sex that seems to be happy with their size.
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What I’d like to know Mia is did your son pick up the mag & read it? Only yesterday a mum told me to buy Dolly for my son for the exact reason you bought it.
I’m freaking out because both me & my husband have tried to talk to him about sex, girls & relationships but he just isn’t interested. He gets angry & embarrassed & walks off telling us to be quiet & that he doesn’t want to talk to us about ” that stuff”. We bought books & he wasn’t interested either. I’m at a loss so I’d love to hear some advice on this .
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My brother use to steal mine when we were younger, he wouldn’t admit it, but he was curious and would read them.
A hint would be to leave one next to the toilet.
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Perhaps the reason your son is becoming angry and embarrassed is because you and your husband are “freaking out” and he is picking up on your discomfort?
). Since he already has knowledge of penises and vaginas and uteri, I told him the baby travels down a special passage inside the mother and comes out of her vagina. He thought for a moment, and said, “I never want to be a girl!”
My mum was visibly uncomfortable when trying to teach me about the birds and the bees. To the point where, when I got my first period, I told my aunty and made her ‘promise not to tell Mum!’. Also, if this is the first time you have broached the subject, at a time when he is entering adolescence, it can make the whole thing a lot more awkward. (It was in my case, anyway) I have 2 boys, ages 3 and 4, and we talk about everything and anything. Just this afternoon my 4 year old asked me, “how does the baby get out of the mum?” after watching Neighbours haha. (Sonia was attempting a home birth
Anyway moral of the story is DON’T FREAK OUT. Make it as natural and normal as it is, and avoid saying things like, “Mate we need to have a talk in private… You’re not in trouble or anything….” ’cause it is bound to make a pre-pubescent kid angry and embarrassed.
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This is such a sad reality. My husband and I were only recently discussing this culture of “beef cakes”. The pressure is so intense….just walk into a beer garden and look around. You either see muscle men with tattoos or the blokes with beard/moustache and retro shirts. I don’t think they are doing this for women either, I think it’s to compete with the other men. Gosh, I find it so over the top and just really sad
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It would be nice if the amount of photoshopping of images of men was exposed. Looking at the magazine covers in your gallery I can see at least three that have been edited to the point of being ridiculous. They don’t even look like human bodies any more.
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Great article, Mia. I don’t have sons but it worries me to see males infected with the same mindset that many women and girls have. I’m a big supporter of exercise and good nutrition but this is seems to be done just for appearances rather than any fitness considerations. Very concerning.
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As far as my 6 year old is concerned, when he grows up he wants to be “fat like Daddy!”. “Daddy” has packed on the kilos since he hit 30, and now has a belly that resembles mine when I was 7 months pregnant. So for us it’s a matter of whatever Daddy looks like is how Mr 6 wants to look as a grown-up. Daddy needs to get exercising!
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When I was younger Dolly and Girlfriend magazine were banned at our house – Mum picked up my friends copy once and spotted Dolly Doctor and was horrified. My Mum was from a different generation and background where things weren’t discussed (to this day she has never said the word ‘tampon’ or ‘period’). In fact, if she was writing a shopping list and needed pads etc she would write it in code on her shopping list just incase someone saw! Then she would hide said items underneath all other shopping.
It was tough for me, growing up and not being able to have an open discussion about my body, the changes it was going through etc. I will definitely be more open with these discussions with my kids.
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Why does this article come accompanied with numerous pictures of men who in Mia’s words “looked as if they’d been inflated with a pump of some kind and then roasted like a chicken.”
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To show examples of the kind of guys that are being emulated.
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Silly question. How are you supposed to illustrate a story without pictures of what you’re writing about?
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I agree with you- it felt like there were too many pics of chiseled bodies and therefore demonstrating the problem with media etc!
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Guys have a huge amount of pressure on them to look a certain way now. My oldest boys, 16 and 20, lift weights every night after school and work, at the gym. They are very health conscious and eat lots of protein, tuna and drink various protein shakes. One of their idols, Zyzz, is guy who died in a spa/sauna, from heart failure from overdoing steroids. To say I’m a little worried is an understatement. All I can do is keep an eye on them so things don’t get out of hand.
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I’m in the same situation as you penny. My son is in his 20′s and protein loading as well. He came home from the gym the other week and told me he a trainer there had told him to eat at least 6 eggs a day. I managed to get him to cut it back to 3. He had also cut out carbs and was like a bear with a sore head all the time. He is now eating salads and fruit again, but not as much as I’d like. The advice they are being given is dangerous.
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My poor boyfriend is always unhappy with how he looks. He is cuddly, with lots of body hair on his belly, chest and legs. I love it, I think he is gorgeous. But he looks at his body with a forlorn look and it breaks my heart. We are both signed up to the gym, and we go for walks on the treadmill together.
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My eldest son is only seven and already very keen to show off his muscles – its scary.
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What if it’s not a teenage boy but your grown husband? Ever since I met my husband 5 years ago he has been crazy about exercise, which at first was fine but for the past year it’s gotten worse. He basically exercises 3-4 hours a day and if he doesn’t stick to his routine he gets stressed out and calls himself fat! I’ve tired over and over to tell him to cut down but he thinks if he does he will lose what he has worked so hard for.
Growing up he was on the chubby side but not overly and his dad would say he was fat so I’m sure that has something to do with it but he doesn’t really talk about his dad much.
Just last week he was so sick one day that he was unable to do his routine and was freaking out about it! I’m at the point where I want kids but am worried that his obsession will cause problems.
He says they won’t but I don’t know. I know exercise is important but when it takes over your life and you’re stressing out because you missed one gym session then it’s a problem.
Anyway just saying its not just teenage boys…
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I’m sorry to hear that your husband is so crazy about keeping in shape. Please tell him it’s very important to have rest days, especially if he’s doing lots of weights, which you can’t do every day.
I don’t think he realises how big of a problem his obsession has become and maybe the next time you visit the GP for a check-up or annual, bring this up and ask for a referral to a counsellor? If it’s becoming a problem for you and you’re worried about what it might do to your kids, then I think you both need to speak to a counsellor and work this issue out. Sorry if I sound up myself or invasive or rude!
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Agree with you. He’s lost perspective and needs help before it gets worse.
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Wow, that does sound serious. If it was a woman you’d be concerned it was an eating disorder/body dysmorphia type situation, but in men it often gets overlooked. Do you think he should talk to someone about his obsession?
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Really glad you wrote this article Mia. This issue is becoming more prevalent in the younger generation.
I’m in my early 20′s and funnily enough, all the guys I’ve liked have been more on the ‘skinnier’ side.
I’m all about taking pride in your appearance but there is nothing appealing about an obsessed gym junkie throwing protein shakes down his throat.
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I think it’s a symptom of young people being exposed to hyper-real images of everything. Whether it’s computer game violence, fake-tan-eyelash-boob combos, super-muscly teen idols or super-micro mini skirts – it’s part of a culture where everything is overdone. Older people have the experience (mostly) to realise how fake it is, but young people just don’t have the same filters, and seem to be entranced by it.
I think the generation growing up now will have trouble distinguishing the real from the fake. I feel for them – and for the young boys and girls who spend all their time and money on faking it.
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To tell you the truth I find it a bit frightening that I am now viewing men differently (ie more as sex objects) now that media is focusing on male perfection. (Not that I demand perfection, or want perfection.) Media influence is powerful stuff. It’s sad.
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My son is nine and he tells me he wants a six pack and that he will shave his body hair once it arrives. I have absolutely no idea where this is coming from as it is just the two of us and I never comment on peoples physiques. Mind boggling!!
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I see this ALL the time at my gym. I go around 4 times a week, and every time I am there I see teh same guys, all younger than me (23) and they are all standing in front of the mirrors with the free weights lifting ridiculous weights. I’ve even seen high school guys there in their school uniform working out. My biggest concern was that these young boys were lifting weights with a technique that didnt look that great and were at risk of hurting themselves!
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this doesn’t surprise me at all
media and idealised images are EVERYWHERE
the key issue is teaching kids (and some adults) to interpret them
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I did a story on this two years ago. I was surprised by the research I discovered and speaking to a psychologist who speacilised in counseling young men with body dysmorphic disorder. In ten years, the percentage of Western teen boys and men who have such disorders had nearly doubled.
The scary thing is young men are achieving their ideal look by using steroids. I know of many young men who are friends and friends of friends who use steroids. This is why I did the story. Also, you can buy steroids from people at gyms as easy as buying alcohol from the liquor store.
I think educating parents and children about body issues is just as important for boys as it is girls.
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As the mother of an already insecure skinny 7 year old boy i am quite concerned about how he will go as a teenager. he already thinks he looks akward, I think he’s adorable, naturally. His father is quite tall and well built but he may have my grandfathers tall lanky genes. And here I was thinking it was my daughter i had to worry about!!!
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My son is 11 and cares about the kind of undies he wears (Bonds wide band trunk, neon colours). CERTAINLY doesn’t come from his father’s influence. I suspect soon he’ll be wanting the body to go with the jocks, but you can ask mum to buy the jocks.
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That’s all my son’s will wear too, Bonds, wide band trunks! They wear their jeans or shorts low, so the band is exposed. My youngest son who is only 9, has now asked me to buy only bonds trunks too!
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Yep, completely see this as a teacher. A whole group of year 10 boys are all on diets and working out like demons. Taking supplements, refusing to eat chocolate or anything from the school canteen. Year 11s are more worried about “GETTING HUGE!!” – to the point that they are wearing shirts so small I fear they will do an ‘Incredible Hulk’ in class one day…
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