by SHAUNA ANDERSON
Here’s a birth announcement that you haven’t read lately on Facebook:
““Introducing baby Emme born 2.4kg and covered in my bodily fluids and lots of goopy white stuff that looks a lot like Perkins Paste. Resembles an angry, red potato. Eventually pushed her out with a f*ck load of pain during a 45 minute session of protracted agony after 14 hours of hideous labour, lots of drugs and more swearing than you’ve ever heard in your life.”
Would you prefer that level of honesty to the usual, happy-clappy version?
Would you prefer to have heard details of an agonising labour and difficulty breast-feeding?
Would you rather social media updates of cracked nipples and haemorrhoids…
A recent debate has broken out over mums bragging on social media, where pregnant and new mothers post updates of their birth, their breastfeeding, and their baby.
Updates which are (shock horror) positive.
Updates which are (again wait for it…) about a mother’s feelings of accomplishment.
Updates which (oh no…don’t do it mums) are actually about sense of pride and joy.
This seemingly awful turn of events where social media is used for good is being branded “shaming”.
The term JUDGING has even been used.
Oh come on.
SERIOUSLY. Let’s all get over the outrage and stop thinking every little thing is slighting us.
Since when is it shaming to tell your friends and family about something you are proud of? The mood against the happy-posts was summed up by an article on the weekend that said:
Top Comments
I like to traumatise all new mums with my story: 16 years later, I STILL vividly remember "Shitting a Flaming Watermelon" (and she was only 2.7 kg's!). I planned to be drugged up to the eyeballs, but that didn't work out as she was a bit quick and slid out onto the floor before they could inject me with pethidine. Instead of the shot of pitocin, I got accidentally jabbed with the forgotten pethidine and spent the first 6 hours of my daughter's life asleep, snoring my head off, while hubby dealt with all the drama going on around me - emergency Anti-D injections, low heartbeat, meconium, 24 stitches!! Never went back for seconds.
That's great Shauna that all the mothers you know are so supportive and happy for each other regardless of how they gave birth or choose to raise their children. Unfortunately that isn't the case for everyone and I have experienced, as well as a lot of other mothers I know, being judged or criticised for how I delivered. I was told by another mother, who had delivered two children vaginally without pain relief, that I had "not really" given birth because I had an epidural with my first child. The sad fact is that a lot of mothers do boast about their deliveries, breast feeding experiences etc. it's ok to be proud of yourself and I believe every woman should no matter how their baby comes into the world, every woman is different and their bodies are different, but be mindful of the undertones in your statements and how it could be making other women feel.