Mummy shaming reaches fever pitch as Kate Middleton dares to holiday sans baby.

Kate Middleton is a selfish, uncaring and shameful mother. She’s ABANDONED 8-month-old baby George, leaving him with people she calls “mum” and “dad” and headed away on an extravagant week-long holiday with her husband, the future King of England.

At least that’s what websites like Mumsnet and those evil people on twitter will have you believe. Yes, the young royals jetted off in a faux shit storm of public protest to the Maldives last Thursday on what is being dubbed a second honeymoon. And they did so – sans baby Prince George.

The third in line to the throne has been left in the care of Kate’s parents Caroline and Michael Middleton, along with his usual Scotland Yard security detail. I just hope he’ll be okay.

You guys, I don’t want to alarm you but apparently this will be Kate’s SECOND HOLIDAY ALREADY THIS YEAR. How very dare she break the imaginary cap on holidays that doesn’t exist and why are we counting how many holidays this woman is having?

There is also concern that Prince William is missing some of his 10-week agricultural course that he enrolled in at Cambridge University. People appear to be concerned as to how William will fit in some study time on a luxury island away from the pressures of royal life. Look, I’m no university expert but I am pretty sure that Cambridge will give William an extension on his “Genetic Evaluation and Breeding program design” powerpoint presentation because PRINCE OF ENGLAND.

The royal couple are staying at the Cheval Blanc Randheli on Noonu Atoll (no, I don’t care either but I went through the trouble of googling how to spell all that, so you will appreciate it none the less). Much has been made of how expensive that particular resort is, up to $11,000 per person for the week-long package. I mean who do they think they are? Royalty? If the backpackers is good enough for us…

“They’ll break the Royals,” one blogger wrote. Yeah, naaaaah. I think you’ll find that ship, along with Fergie’s toes, Charles and Camilla’s affair, and Prince Phillip’s gentle racism sailed, docked, sailed again,was stolen by pirates and broken up for fire wood a long time ago.

All of that crap aside, have any of you actually travelled with an 8-month-old? At the best of times it is traumatic, at the worst it is severe-alcoholism inducing. You arrive at the airport looking like a sherpa preparing for a group trip up Everest. Ten suitcases full of sterilising equipment, nappies, clothes, towels, nappy bags, medicine, pram, baby seat and then there is the actual plane trip.

Screaming, vomiting, tantrums – and that was just me. If it’s an overseas holiday, you then need to deal with your small person’s jet lag and disrupted routine. Kate has done little George a solid if you ask me; he gets to stay with his adoring grandparents, nap at his usual times and generally be doted on by you know…his personal security detail…

I think it is bloody appalling that anyone is attacking Kate’s mothering skills. I just wonder why people felt the need to go for the jugular on this one? What lies at the heart of the many mothers slamming her online? Why do they judge her so harshly?

I also wish to draw your attention to the fact that Kate is the only parent who was called to order in this situation. At no point has William been accused of leaving his son to fend for himself in the horrific conditions of the Middleton family’s luxury country estate. He did get in trouble for doing some boar hunting in Spain a few weeks ago, so I suppose that is kind of the same… No. No, it isn’t.

HASHTAG EQUALITY.

I simply do not have a problem with Will and Kate wanting to get away. I imagine being a head of state and constantly on show would get rather tiring and one would need to rent out an entire island to have a break from it all. Okay that all sounds ridiculous, but you get my meaning.

G-unit won’t remember the time mum and dad went away without him. Why? Cos’ he is 8-months-old!

Do you remember any sort of emotional scarring from ordinary parental behaviour (like HOLIDAYING) from before you were 5?! I can guarantee Kate will be missing him more than he will be missing her.

I guess it is always easier to mind someone else’s business than our own, huh?

Want more of Em Rusciano? Check her out live on stage at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in her new show, ‘Divorce: The Musical’.

What do you think of the claims that Kate Middleton is a ‘bad mother’? How old was your baby the first time you left them alone without either parent?