BY MONTY DIMOND
A little while ago I did something that came up in conversation with friends over dinner. It sparked a mixture of passionate opinions, raised eyebrows, thumbs up of support, and endless inappropriate jokes. It’s fair to say my friendship group is divided on whether what I did was acceptable or completely wrong town. So here’s how the story rolls.
I was babysitting one of my best friends’ little two-year-old girl, Molly*. She was sleeping at my place for the night, so after our 63rd episode of Dora The Explorer, I decided to run her a bubble bath. She happily splashed away in the tub while I gave her a scrub and shampooed her little locks. After she was squeaky clean I jumped in the bath too and had a shower.
When my boyfriend got home later that night I told him the events of my day. The debrief included that my little mate and I had showered together. He turned to me and said, “Isn’t that a bit…um…weird?” I hadn’t given it a second thought, but his scrunched up face me panic that I’d done something wrong.
I have known Molly for her entire 24-month existence. I held her when she was 5 hours old, have changed her nappy a hundred times, and kissed her knees when she’s fallen over. I absolutely love her to bits. Why would it be weird for me to shower with her?
The second my friend arrived to collect her daughter I blurted out, “So I showered with Molly… hope that was ok!” Naturally my friend didn’t bat an eyelid. With a smug look on my face I turned to my boyfriend and dropped the old “I told you so”.
Fast forward to last night’s dinner party. This one small attempt to save water and time, created so many fictional scenarios and questions. If Molly were five would it still be acceptable? Should I have checked with her parents first? If Molly was a little boy would that change things?
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Top Comments
As a bloke I do fear what reaction one might get from showering with someone else's daughter. But not there boys, no hassles there. When our 9yo daughter has friends stay over I don't go near the bathroom when it's shower time, but with my nephews and mates young boys I am totally comfortable showering or changing with them, showing them how not to pee on their shoes, how to write their name on a brick wall or whatever. Boys need men to set good examples, boundaries and roles as men.
I feel it is a real shame that as a society we are so concerned, and perhaps rightly, about the risk of abuse. I would hope that our friends and family would know their children are absolutely safe with us, with me.
I think it is perfectly normal. If it was a kid you just met and was looking after for the first time, that may be weird but a child you are very close to is fine.
Growing up I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and have seen my grandma naked. I still see my mum in the shower or getting dressed and vice versa. Im 23 and the only time I'm embarrassed is if she notices my brazillian wax!
I remember a camping trip when I was in primary school with family friends, one of mum's best friends asked mum if it was ok that she showered with us. It was communal showers with no privacy in the camping grounds. The friend was heavily pregnant at the time and was worried and very nervous about me seeing her naked. Mum was like don't be silly, it's all normal.
I am glad my upbringing was so open. Years later I was comfortable to talk to the same friend of my mother's when I got my period when I was shopping with her one day when mum was at work. I agree with others, it takes a village to raise a child.
I was very embarrassed recently when baby sitting my god son and I had to change his nappy for the first time. He had recently had the snip, I never knew you had to put cream on it. I was so weirded out by the the whole thing I quickly changed his nappy. His mother got home and laughed at me saying it was totally normal. I love that little guy so much and hope he will feel comfortable to always know his god parents are here for him.