Em, being a cool mum
by EM RUSCIANO
Well, it’s happening. In the back of my mind I knew it was coming but had successfully blocked it out like the need for superannuation and the impending removal of my wisdom teeth.
I’ve lost my baby, my first born, my loving, helpful, smiley girl. Where has she gone because I bloody want her back. Seriously, I want to speak to the manager about this as what I purchased from the store ‘aint what it I got now.
She’s 11, so hormones have taken her hostage and she now shuts the door when she showers and stomps off over some pretty trivial stuff. There is plenty of info and support for when the baby arrives and even when they fly the nest, but what about when the baby orders you to walk behind her on the way home from school or when she pretends not to know you when you are loudly cheering for her during a cross country race…
She has stopped running everywhere, you know how kids do that? They run everywhere all the time, especially when they spot you after having been apart. My 5 year old still does the Dirty Dancing run and jump at the end of the school day when she sees me.
I’m lucky to get eye contact with Chell when I see her after school. What the hell am I to do? I am grieving for a child lost even though she is still here.
Don’t get me wrong, my eldest daughter is RAD. If I went to school with her I would totally want to be her friend. She is a gun athlete, pianist, student and she’s pretty with a bit of a punk skater thrown in. I watch her at school when I am up there on Prep duties with my youngest daughter (not in a weird, stalkery, overprotective way) and I am way proud of my kid.
It’s just, well… she doesn’t love me best anymore! Plus, this morning we had an incident…
She said IT. She said that sentence to me that I though I’d never hear and it hit me pretty hard. It ranks up there between being told you have a body odour issue and having your heart set on fire… She said, “Muuuuum, you are embarrassing me. Go away”.
NO!
We reserve that statement for the mothers who rock up in their PJ’s to drop their kids off or the dad whose arse crack is hanging out. Not the mum who skates to school with her kid wearing vintage ADIDAS high tops with wet look electric blue leggings and leopard print nails! (Me, I’m talking about me.)
Christ it hurt, you see I consider myself the “cool” Mum.
Yes, I realise what a wanker I am even typing that sentence however I keep no secrets here.
We were playing basketball before school started today and things seemed to be going well. The bell went and I tried to give her a hug, she responded by ducking my hug attempt with the skills of an elite Ninja. It obviously didn’t compute so I tried again and again same crouching tiger hidden dragon shit – hug avoided.
Finally I caught her after several attempts and forced my love onto her. She screamed the now infamous “embarrassing” line and we both took a step back and looked at each other. She saw the hurt that had been inflicted and I did what any self respecting mother would do, I grabbed her again and kissed her on the face, she fought hard but I won.
I didn’t really did I?
Her body is “changing”, her moods swinging and a group of long fringed boys now come over asking if she can go skating with them out the front of our house. I remember all that, I clearly remember being 11 and feeling everything at 10 times the intensity that I feel it now.
I now realise I have to completely change my mindset towards her and put the gear into “P” for parenting. Up until now we have been buddies who compromise on a few things, Chell would always do as I asked and we were a team. Not now, now everything I say and do regarding her must be justified and negotiated. It is like living with a small, angry politician.
Still, she is kind to animals, cleans the kitchen and doesn’t swear so it’s not all bad..
We’ll get though it. I know we can. Right guys? Right.
Em Rusciano appears on Network Ten’s ’The Project’, she also regularly hosts The Circle. You should follow her on Twitter here and take a look at her website here.
Have you got any advice for Em? Have you gone through a similar stage in your life? Either as a kid or as a parent?
Comments
78 Comments so far
She’s gonna love this post if a hug is embarrassing
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I have 3 Daughters. My advice to you – brace yourself, it gets worse! I’ve told them that I can cope with anything they dish out, but one thing I will not tolerate is bad grammar or text speak. If they want to tell me to go away or that I’ve ruined their lives, they can do so correctly.
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“Reviving Ophelia” by Mary Piper is a great read/exploration of the social, hormonal forces that rob mothers of their daughters. So is “Finding Artemisia: a journey into ancient women’s business by Denise Greenaway http://www.denisegreenaway.com
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Oh Em , I’m with you !!!( Although I’m not a cool Mum)I got a ” whatever ” answer from the child who was the most compliant , thoughtful non-challenging little girl who then got so upset at my disappointment in an answer from her like that , it was just awful . I”m so not ready for this bit , I understand the biology but not the nitty gritty of her emotions and feel like an old mean cow . I really don’t need another stage making me feel older than I beleive I am inside !!!!! It’s like , so not fair
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k, im not a mother ofcoarse im in grade 9 but i know that ur daughters still love u no matter what happens between u two, i try to end up having a fight with my mum but i end up crying and telling her i love her, very night and everytime i leave them i kiss them goodbye, when my mother comes to highskool with me to see the princable or something and the bell rings, i kiss my mother good bye and if some one comes up to me and says wat a baby i am i stick the finger up them and tell them that atleast i care about my mother!!!! and tell them to fudge off!! I LOVE MY MOTHER and i can tell that to anyone!! even if my friends tease me!!!
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My 3-year-old told me I was ‘boring’ the other day. *sob!*
She still does the run-and-jump hug, though, and comes in to the bathroom when I’m in the shower to yell out, “Mum? I love you! Okay bye!”. Pleasepleaseplease let me keep those for a few years yet!
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God, my daughter is 7 and has just finished year 2 (UK times here). I haven’t been able to hold her hand once this year, nor give her a kiss goodbye at school. I’ve also been told that I’m embarrassing her several times over, especially when I’m singing old songs that come on in a restaurant. As far as I’m concerned though, it’s not embarrassing enough until I start dancing in my seat. Then she gets mad and gives me the silent treatment.
I reckon by the time she gets to 12 we will either be all over it or it will be one unholy mess.
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trust me we daughters (when i mean we i mean im a daughter too) do grow up we sometimes say something stupied but when we have fights with our mothers in our head we are going ohh sh1t im missing her soo bad i wish i could say sorry!!! trust me i know wat it feels
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I have four kids. Three teenage males and a little girl. Shes easy (for now). Im not too embarrassing and considered reasonably cool as long as I understand boundaries apparently. I also agree car ambushes are the only way to go. I also decided early on to NOT crack the shits when one does something insane. Its worked with the 15 yo (who thinks he’s 25). We have a fairly honest and open relationship (mostly).
The main thing this article has triggered for me is the guilt I have felt for ages about how i treated my own mother. She died in 2010 and even though Id apologised for being a teenage bitch long ago I still apologised not long before she died. I truly regret missing out on some key mum/daughter time. She was epic. At least we know its normal.
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My 15yo son who is the social butterfly and so called ‘cool’ one of them all (self proclaimed) will tell me he loves me when Ive dropped him off or over the phone. Even in front of his friends. 14yo hates me and the 18yo has acknowledged that he was a turd for a few years.
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Following on from this article I have a very scary sentence for you:
I have twin girls.
Nuff said.
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I LOVE the ‘small angry politician’ line – I laughed out loud when I read that!
x
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My daughter’s 11 too. I can still recall time/date/place when she first refused to hold my hand. Gutted.
Although, my mum tells me I refused to hold hers from age 9 so maybe I’ve had a bit more time than she did with me.
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I have an 8 3/4 year old girl who still writes lovely things on bits of paper that are littered all over the house, like, “I love you Mummy – you are the best person in my life.” But I have noticed that anything and everything will spark sudden temper tantrums, if this is what I have to look forward to then God help me.
I have an 11 1/2 year old boy who is very teary one moment and will still hug me and kiss me at home – but never in public. He’s just gorgeous still, but the defiant moments are increasing.
My older son has just turned 15, still hugs me every day, has a great sense of humour and when he is in the midst of a hideous teenage moment, I can usually bring round with humour. He has the added challenge of having Aspergers, which can make him totally intractable at times. But over all, I think he’s a very easy teenager to deal with.
Praying my little Miss catches the awesome sense of humour that the other two have as it has worked well many times to diffuse an argument.
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I looove it when my teenage girls say I am embarrassing them. It’s all part of mummy fun as far as I’m concerned.
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Baby no 3 is now 11, 12 in 3 months and already planning her party, cos its her last year at primary school, you know. We don’t answer the home phone anymore, she now has a bra and she’s started asking for Facebook. Oh and she does that annoying thing they do, of standing in front of me to measure how tall she is compared to me (she’s up to my eyes and has the same size feet).
A younger colleague of mine told me once I must be a cool mother, being a young one and some of their friends even thought we were cool. Our kids didn’t quite agree though. Imagine how embarrassing I was being pregnant when they were teenagers. Evidence that your parents “did it”!
It is an interesting time for girls though. In their haste to become their own woman they kinda reject the nearest woman to them.
Boys do similar to their dads though.
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Hoping I can hang onto this posts and all it’s comments for about ten years when this topic will be all too relevant to me. Gosh, looking at my toddler I can only dread what’s ahead.
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Oh Love, it hurts bad doesn’t it.
You can be the COOLEST person in the world but unfortunately one will never be ‘cool’ to their own kids. Cause, well, you’re Mum.
I bet you a bajillion dollars though that ALL her friends think you are the coolest ever!!
And if its any consolation, give Seal’s kids 5 years and they’ll be saying the same thing to him.
And he’s SEAL for goodness sake.
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My daughter was still hugging me and giving me “I love you” post it notes at 14. But then she turned 15 and WHOA. The hormones hit big time.
I echo other parents comments re communication in the car. I am happy to drive my daughter and her friends anywhere because that is where we have the best conversations. I love hearing her conversations with her friends in the car and then once we have dropped them home, she happily recounts every thing they have just done.
Whilst we have our daily up and downs, I have to say the best thing about teenagers are their sense of humour. My daughter writes the funniest emails and texts. I may be screaming (inside) with frustration one minute but the next I am laughing at something funny she has said.
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That is so sweet! You obviously have a close relationship with your daughter and nothing beats that! Keep doing whatever you’re doing, coz you’re doing it right
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Great article!
However, one point that a lot of people missed that I remember frustrating me as a teenager was that I was merely a grumpy, pimply version of the child I was and the adult I would become. My parents, as soon as I turned thirteen, were of the opinion that I was a wild beast hell-bent on becoming a hooker and smoking crack. We had so many clashes over ‘freedom’ because of the things they had seen and read about teenagers, where I at fifteen or sixteen just wanted the occasional glass of wine while I read a book or to go out for dinner with my male friends! Funnily enough, though they breathed a sigh of relief when I ended my teenage years, I can honestly say my behaviour changed very little (only the expense of my wine)!
All kids are different and while it is important to ‘be a parent not a friend’, giving your daughter the opportunity to develop good judgement will stand her in good stead. Mine always made sure to let me know how important safe sex was, how that being a young woman meant that I shouldn’t go giving myself away to anybody (vagina power, yay!) that I didn’t think was honestly wonderful, that nobody would be impressed by me drinking so much I vomited, and so on, and so with the ‘drama’ removed from teenage rebellion, I developed good judgement at a young age as I’m sure your wonderful daughter will! Just remember – she is not the enemy and nor are you!
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When my 18 year old daughter was 15 she told me that I had to accept that we were not close, never had been or never will be – me devastated reminded her that she came to bed with me every night until she went to high school, wanted to hold my hand til she was in year 8 and was my constant companion . She is now my buddy again feeling sorry for me with things her 9 year old sister does to me ,telling her I never said anything like that to Mum ! Short memory
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My 14 year old daughter is the one person in the world who can reduce me to tears almost instantaneously with her revolting words. All I ever wanted was a daughter, and when she behaves atrociously I comment that her evil twin, Ethel, is obviously in town. She loves me, she loves me not… she wants me close, she doesn’t want me anywhere near her. Her friends love me, and she tells them what an awful Mother I am!
How did that angel child turn into a teenage nightmare????
The biggest issue is that we won’t give her the freedom she wants to go out without tightly controlled boundaries… it would be so much easier in the long term, but the consequences as she gets older would be far harder. She has girls in her year who are drinking, smoking and having sex and their parents either don’t care, or don’t want to know!
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I have to weigh in here. I also have a 14 year old daughter and she is quite frankly a mess of hormones and outrageous behavior. As far as we know she’s not having sex or smoking but we do know there’s been drinking, plus cutting, bulimia and pictures of over-the-top kissing various boyfriends all over the Internet. She’s completely addicted to Facebook, doesn’t want to go to school and hates us (especially me). We are deeply worried about her, and have arranged counselling for the eating issues and her general hatred of the family unit. Family counselling has led us to back off from nagging to do homework/jobs etc and just try our very hardest to get us all (including her brothers) through this in one piece.
Here’s the thing. We love her to bits and just want the best for her. A year ago I would have made the same observation about the parents of out of control girls not caring or not wanting to know but life has taught me otherwise. We care – we really do.
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You are absolutely right that I should not have presumed that these girls have parents who don’t care or don’t want to know. I know all too well the pain and frustration of having a daughter abuse you when you have done nothing wrong, and in most cases just want to help. I was thinking solely about the girls I know who seem to be out of control and their parents who have their heads firmly in the sand!
My daughter is also addicted to Facebook and based on some recent behaviour (complete lack of effort at school), we have banned it and also curtailed all outside activities for the immediate future. We had tried to give her more freedom with her friends as long as her efforts at school continued and it has backfired, so we have taken control back and let her know that we are not going to let her stuff up her life! Her abusive behaviour was severely impacted our family life.
After banning FB, I was telling my sister that she seems to have calmed down a bit. Because she doesn’t have the distraction she is spending more time with me and has been gorgeous. My sister said that after an overseas holiday without FB that her son was such great company. They got to a hotel in Singapore and he got onto FB and suddenly started snarling and complaining when they suggested he get off it so they could go out.
I love FB myself, but it seems that they disappear inside this electronic world and are cut off from their families. Whilst we have banned FB for the moment, we will eventually go back to Year 7 FB rules during term time – I change her password on Sunday night and she isn’t allowed to have it back until Friday.
Good luck with your daughter – she doesn’t know how lucky she is to have such wonderful parents who do love her so much and only want what is best for her.
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Thanks for the kind words Original Anon. It’s a tough old path isn’t it. Deep breaths! (And wine…)
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before fb or such things in our life we had quality life with family in our homes, but with fb, friends and everyone else in home and family out. i was judgemental to other parents when i didnt have teenagers, i understood how bad i was thinking badly.. there is a stage parents could control just that much but not all the time.
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Haha, I am opposite. I cuddled the heck out my Mum until she asked me to stop hugging her all the time when I was about 9. Now she grabs me when I come over for a hug..
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GAWD you’ve all made me cry. Several times.. Fathers and Mothers united against hormones eh? She held my hand on the way home from school today.. WINNER!! Thanks for reading my words. Em xx
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I love your writing Em – fab. My daughter’s 2… thanks for reminding me to enjoy every single cuddle and mushy kiss!
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I am dreading adolescence.
At least I totally know already that I am nowhere near the cool mum, so I won;t be at all surprised when my kids are embarrassed by me.
Hurt probably, but not surprised!
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I could gave written this same thing about my family. My 10 and 11 year olds are doing the same thing and my cute little girls are long gone. As I pick them up from school now though, I will head over to grade one where I too will receive a run and jump cuddle and I will sweetly savour every moment of it.
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Someone once told me to play with your kids as much as they want when they are younger. The day will come when they don’t want to play with you anymore….sob sob
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I’m going to go home and give my 18 month old girl one gazillion kisses. I felt a little sad when she started being independent (co-incided with weaning – http://bumpyroadtobubba.com/2012/05/04/loves-for-everyone-except-mumma/), but I am not looking forward to the Ninja duck and weave. Sounds like you’ve grown one amazing girl and she knows what an awesome mumma you are! By the time your 5 year old stops loving the Dirty Dancing lift, Chell will probably be okay with hugs again?
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I just love that she thinks so highly of her daughter… to say that you would totally want to be her friend if you went to school with her… that right there says job well done mum!!!
Have two princesses, aged one and two. So pleased to her that I still have 10 years of “you’re my best friend mum”.
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Shit, I have 3 girls. I’m not looking forward to when they hit this age! Em, I think you’ll be fine, you sound like a fantastic mum. I think as long as communication lines are always open, then you will all survive.
Thanks for a great post!
Oh MM, will Em be writing about The Shire? I hope she is!!
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There is a brilliant book called ‘princess bitchface syndrone’ which is all about the science behind the hormones of teenage girls and strategies to deal with them. My 12yo is starting down that track too and I found the book really helpful.
The funniest is my ex husband who is not coping with her starting to get breasts and makes her wear a crop top 24/7 when she is at his house. I find that hilarious!
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Your little girl is still in there, Em. She’s just developed a tough outer shell to protect her from the emotional turmoil of adolescence.
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Sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter and it all sounds pretty normal. If she is a multi-talented girl with some self confidence and good friends then you might need to just readjust your interactions with her. My almost 9 year old is a bundle of nerves and very sensitive and constantly worries about everything. She takes everything to heart and therefore avoids lots of kids at school cause her feelings are always hurt. I am dreading her becoming a teenager for fear or how badly she will feel when teenage girls get really nasty. So all I can say to you Em is celebrate all the good things about her and appreciate how wonderful she is and try to find a new middle ground with her.
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Hi Em, my 19 yo daughter and I survived her hormonal dark side, and are the best of friends now. Her issues were more with her father, being so alike and both wanting the last word, their fights were the worst. When she was between 16 and 17 she started to come out the other side, her and Dad became friends again. Advice –
1. Always pick your battles, most times it’s best to wait for a better mood to get your point across.
2. In the car is always good for “special talks”, she can’t escape.
3. Be ready to discuss anything, and use any small opportunity, such as a tv show you’re watching together, to discuss the hard topics, eg. Sex, drugs etc.
Good luck, you both will come out the other side, it’s just a long hard road to get there.
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As a mum who has come through the teenage years (and survived) I can say your 3 points of advice are spot on!!
I also tried not to react immediately if they disclosed something I didn’t approve of, I gave it 24hrs for me to get my response right in my head so I could calmly discuss it.
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Arggggh the car one is the worst!
Haha my mum always uses that one!
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Kids use it too. My kids used to tell me things I didn’t really want to know in the car. I’m amazed I didn’t crash a lot of times. I suppose it’s good they felt they could talk to me.
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Love Em’s writing and I love your advice Anonymous. My 17 year old daughter is in her final year of school and is majorly stressed, despite all the assurances in the world that her father and I want her to enjoy her last year, do the best she can and be happy. This ‘year 12 is the most important year of their life’ attitude by some people really gets on my nerves.
Well, she has turned into frankly, a girl I dont feel like I know anymore. And we have always been very very close. I was always proud that I had the ‘anti teen’.
not any more.
So I grieve for my 17 year old. I just cant wait for this year to be over and I hope I get my daughter back again. The one that when I talk to her, Im not saying the wrong thing, every. single. time.
I think I am more stressed out with her doing year 12, than I ever was when I did it. And Im not joking.
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teens, you will get your daughter back about a week after she’s finished the HSC/end of year exams. That’s what happened with my son. The time period from now until the HSC sucks. You just have to remember that it will pass. Don’t sweat the small stuff and be there when she needs you.
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Uckk! The car thing is awful! My step mum used to do this to me as a teen, and it ALWAYS felt like an ambush!
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thanks for the article for us mums with older kids, i have a 14yo and its a definate balancing act to keep our relationship positive.
One thing i beleive is “I am not my daughters friend, i am her mother, she has to trust me 100%, she has to be able to rely on me 100%. Now i am older i am my mothers friend but when i was young i was her daughter. I have to give my daugher expectations and as a friend she can consider my expectations but as a mother she has to fulfil my expectations.
For the records she is a real hoot, she has just been hit on the back of the head with the boy stick, is stunningly beautiful, has a wonderful sense of humour and a really balanced head on her shoulders. She is a pleasure to be around and she still enjoys my company and we have a great relationship. I am so lucky to have her in my life and watch her grow up to be a wonderful young lady.
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awwww, you have given me hope for when my little girl grows up. I hope I have the same loving and close relationship you are enjoying.
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Electric blue leggings, vintage sneakers, leopard print nails…and you skate to school with your kid?? Awesome!
I’ll be happy if I can pull one of those things off when I’m doing the school run with my future kids. I’m in awe!
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My daughter is turning 13 and the past couple of years have been TESTING:) Puberty, hormones, periods! Now when I look at her I see a young woman, no longer a child. There are things I have to let go off and there are new things I am embracing.
This is as much about me growing up as it is her. But just as there are times she/I slip back into juvenile behavior we are learning to laugh at things rather than getting too caught up in it. The more I empathize with her the less defiant she is. Not saying the next few years is going to be easy but after the past couple of years let’s just say I’m no longer as naive about raising teens;)
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Oh yes, the great embarrassment. I love it. I feel it’s my duty. My favourite is singing loudly while Miss 13′s friends are around, especially in the car. I make sure I hug and kiss her all the while too. I like to think she finds all this endearing. I know my son does when I ask him if his Xbox has Pacman. Well, his friends laugh.
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Going through the same thing with my 11+ son. He locks the door to the bathroom and even takes his clothes in there just in case! It’s the almighty rage that gets pent up in him that I worry about the most – back to having 2yo tantrums again over really trivial things. At least he comes back later very contrite and apologetic but it is hard not to laugh when he’s in the midst of one because he is so much like he was at 2! He constantly tells me I’m embarrassing him, but I don’t get so hurt about that one. He’s still OK with the PDA from me (for now) but has sadly stopped kissing his dad goodnight
. Dreading the next few years…
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Love this post Em! My girl is nearly 13 and we’ve been going through the same things as you. She’s always had an ‘inner teenager’ but now the inner teen is well out there. I swing from being sad to excited about the changes she’s going through nearly every day. What I’ve learnt over the past couple of years is that I should be there for her, but not right on her shoulders.
I’ve also hooked her up with my best friend to be a ‘spare Aunty’ and someone she can talk to if she doesn’t want to talk to me. I had one of these growing up, and I’ve been the ‘spare’ for one of my friend’s daughters (now a lovely young woman of 21). I think every teenage girl needs an adult female who can be a shoulder to cry on and sounding board. After all, it takes a village…
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Spare Aunty….love it! Great idea.
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My little baby boy is sleeping. I’m going to cuddle beside him now.
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Bugger the hug description, I just read what you were wearing… EMBARRASSING! Not to mention talking about her in public. She probably will never talk to you again!
Seriously I have a 5yo who thinks she’s 15. Goes into her room to chill and listen to music~ like WTF! I never did that when I was 5. What sort of monster children are we all making in this society we now live in? I think I want to go live on a hippy commune somewhere with chickens, cows, vege garden and no TV/Radio/Media!
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I did the “go to my room to chill and listen to music” when I was five, except it was The Lion King read-along storybook
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I have a 3yo daughter and I am TERRIFIED of what she will be like at 10. I think she will destroy me.
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I have the exact same fear!
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Great post. I think about this often. My oldest is a girl who will be 7 seven next month. Everything is just perfect at the moment she’s old enough for me to enjoy a relaxed slow meal at a cafe and young enough to think it’s super cool to be out with me alone. She sometimes even tries to dress like me which I keep forgetting to video for a future reference that I was once cool to her.
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Dear Em, mine just turned 17, and just this year I’ve seen her emerge out of the deep dark tunnel that yours has just been sucked into. The last five years have been a yo-yo between I’m just an embarrassment to someone who is her friend. (I thought she hated me for a while there because she got really good at it.) Before, she only came to talk to complain, she’d grunt when I spoke to her, now she comes to me for advice, money, shoes… even wants to spend time with me!
It gets better. Hold on…
*She’ll love you all the more for writing about it*
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After 3 boys, I was a bit taken aback to be told my 4th ( and last) , baby was a girl. I was so happy , but just for a second, a sense of dread washed over me , and I told myself this was payback time because I remembered how I acted towards my parents between the ages of 13 to about 20.! You could not tell me anything, because I already knew it all.
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I have a 10 year old boy, who is starting to get a bit “embarrassed”, but I have laid down some rules. He must kiss me hello and goodbye no matter what, he can’t storm off, roll his eyes, slam a door etc. That said, I won’t hold his hand (in public), cuddle and carry on (in public) or call him by his baby names (in public). I think it is important to acknowledge that they aren’t babies or even little even more, but they still need to treat their parents with love, respect and good manners. It works (so far)
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I like that. A bit of give and take
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Car talking and patience! Im 23 and while for YEARS mum and i had a really distant relationship thanks to the teen years, we are now best friends. It will get worse before it gets better – Hang in there!
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And this article published on the www & read by thousands of people _won’t_ embarrass her further?! I would have died if my mum wrote a published article about my raging hormones, whilst they were currently raging….
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Em, I’m experiencing my second adolescent female as I type. Start the wine IV – now.
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Great article Em! I’m not a mum yet but I do remember being that way with my mum. Her and I were awfully close growing up, we were the best of friends… Then something happened. I didn’t want to do the same things anymore and I thought my mum was either trying to embarrass me or stop me from doing the things I wanted to do (I wanted to be a bar dancing coyote from Coyote Ugly- thank god she stopped that idea in its tracks).
This only lasted a couple of years and right now I’m 25 and my mum is still my best friend. Even though I’m married and thinking about starting my own family, I am so unbelievably grateful for the way she raised and that fact she was was there, even when I didn’t want her there.
Your daughter will remember the fun you had and feel terrible for making you feel upset (I know I do). She will remember what an amazing childhood she had and she will come back to you again, I promise!
She sounds like a great kid though, blame the hormones not her
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