Here’s the thing. I have two teenage boys. This makes me very easily pleased.
Let me explain.
Teenage boys have a knack for doing things that parents don’t particularly like. They can be rude, non communicative, loud, clumsy and downright unpleasant to be around.
They can also be loving, kind, tender, well mannered and you can just absolutely love them to bits. More often than not, though, they tend to be like the former. This is why I’m easily pleased.
Annie with her boys
There are times I despair and worry that my boys are not going to turn out to be contributing members of society. I worry that their seemingly constant need to non conform will see them do something that might ruin their future opportunities. I worry that their laziness will render them permanently immobile. I worry that their potty mouths will mean they won’t fit into mainstream society. I worry that they will never give up smoking. I worry that they drink to much. I worry about drugs. I worry that the fact they did not try hard at school will mean they won’t succeed in a career. I worry that they will never find the thing that makes them feel alive. I worry that they will never have enough money to buy a home. I worry that I wasn’t tough enough on them.
I worry about a million different things.
Teenage boys take risks. Teenage boys like to live on the edge. Sometimes I think they deliberately hang over the edge just to see what happens. Teenage boys scare me.
The other day, both my boys attended the Future Music Festival in Brisbane. Apparently it is awesome and cannot be missed. It is mandatory to start drinking with breakfast so you have enough time to be comfortably drunk by the time it starts at midday. Apparently. When I suggested this might be taking it a bit too far, I swear they looked at me like I just spoke Mandarin. They then all meet at someone’s house and continue drinking until the maxi taxi’s arrive to take everyone to the venue, which happened to be Doomben Racecourse. It was pouring rain, stinking hot and my babies were heading out with thousands of other teenagers to a wild festival of music, alcohol and party drugs. As a mum of teenagers, this makes me worry.
I’ve been a mum of teenagers now for 7 years and you would think by now I’d have this whole gig sussed. Unfortunately you never become totally comfortable. I have learned that you don’t spend the whole time worrying. You worry before they go and try to convince them not to go. When they have bought the tickets you then spend the next few weeks talking about the dangers of party drugs and alcohol, whilst trying to sound cool and okay with it. This generally doesn’t work because you never sound cool and you are not okay with it.
On the day, you fuss around and make sure they have sunscreen and water. Well you don’t really make sure they have it, because there is no way they will take any notice of you. At least saying the words makes you feel like you have discharged your motherly duties. Once they leave, you stop thinking about them. True. You have to. If I can give any mother of teenagers some advice this would be the holy grail of advice. What will be will be. Once they are gone you have no more control. I like to take the approach that no news is good news. If my phone doesn’t ring, this is a good sign. If something was to happen to them, you would be the first to know. I know this. I’ve lived through many of these calls. Remember. Once they leave. Stop worrying.
I will cut to the chase now and tell you why I’m easily pleased. Around 11.00 pm I called Mr 18 to see how things were going. He answered his phone, bright and non drunk sounding. He said, I quote. ”Mum I’ve had a great time. I didn’t drink much. I still have money left over and I didn’t get into any trouble. At all.”
And just like that … my teenage boys make me see that they are going to be okay.
What were you like as a teenager?
 part of having teenage boys… on http://www.mamamia.com.au){kind=link}
Comments
101 Comments so far
I have 4 beautiful sons, 22, 19,13,and 6 and wouldn’t swap them for the world. I feel I have been running the gauntlet of teenage years for ever. Give me teenagers any day. Too much work with the little ones. I have a fanatastic relationship with my older boys and although worry at times, you would put yourself in an early grave if you worried all the time. You just have to trust that you have instilled in them good values and hope for the best. When I was having my fourth child everyone would assume that I was trying for that elusive girl. WRONG!!! At that stage I didn’t want to bring a girl into my world of boys, no doubt she would have been feral. People assume that every mum wants a girl. When I was 16 I said to my Mum, I never want girls. I’m not putting girls down and have three beautiful nieces who I adore but I just didn’t think I was a girls sought of Mum. Once again with the 13 yr old I am diving into the world of teenagerland and just think you have to keep the lines of communication open. I keep up with current trends, and their music and try to keep an open mind about everything. I feel sorry for my 6 year old who by the time is a teenager will have a Mum who is in her late 50′s. I think his older brothers will need to take him under their wing. Oh well, they say they keep you young, hopefully this is the case.
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Yes , they are such a handful. Girls aren’t much better. Only thing about a girl is the fact that you as a mother will have signs when they begin sexually active. One the other hand with a boy you will have to play the guessing game for about the first year or so
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Thank you for writing such an honest story about life with your boys. I hear you and I thank you. I also printed this story for a friend who is having a tough time with her boy.
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My 14 year old soon told me tonight he broke up with his same age ‘girlfriend’ because she wanted to ‘tongue kiss’ and that was not what he wanted to do. He said he didn’t mind kissing her but tongues were gross! He also told me about a girl not much older to a guy the same age and was 1 disgusted at the act and 2 couldn’t believe they were so ‘dumb’ cause now when is he going to have time to play footy ride his scooter and play COD? Thinking at this stage I am pretty safe with my teenager at this stage but learning also to speak to him differently if I tell him he won’t if ask he will. not looking forward to the day he wants to drink! oh and two teenage girls coming up……
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Oops missed the word pregnant in there!
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Love reading all these comments, but they are breaking my heart. I lost my beautiful little boy to the teenage years. Drugs, alcohol, crime, and bad choice of company have taken a massive toll. People tell me it may get better, he may grow out of it all, but I honestly doubt it. So sad.
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I’m so sorry, that sounds really tough. Hang in there.
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my oldest son is 17 and I had a bit of an ah ha moment when he was 15 and his dad and I were out for lunch and he was at home, it started to rain and I was going to call him and TELL him to take the washing in…..
The conversation would have went like this… Mum : “Adam take the washing in”… Adam :” aw do I have to, why is it always me.. I’ll get wet blah bla bla…” Mum : just bloody do it”… spend rest of nice lunch stressed.
My husband said I will call him and the conversation went like this…
Dad :” hi mate, mum and I are at lunch can you do me a favour and take the washing in, I need a dry uniform for tomorrow” Adam “no worries Dad enjoy lunch”
It made me realise that I had to change my approach to him, he was growing up and I needed to change my tone when talking to him, he wasn’t my wee boy anymore who just did what his mother told him and if I wanted our relashionship to flourish I had to give him that space,
It wasn’t easy because up until that time we had a closer bond than him and his dad.
My husband and I now have a look we share when either of us is pushing too far and not picking our fights. and it reminds us to back off.
Our son is a gorgeous boy, thrived at school, popular, school sports captain and just started at Uni. He had a blast at schoolies (alcohol and drug free) and is at this moment at his first music festival in Brisbane as I sit here and worry, but as someone said before no news is good news and I am sure he will burst in at midnight desperate to tell us all about it and we will be delighted to hear all his chat
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My son is now 30 and has grown into a wonderful, caring, loving , man. He is a husband and a father. He was exactly the same kind of person when he was a teenager but perhaps with a bit of devilment thrown in for good measure. When their son was born 22 months ago the first thing I told them was if their son gives them half as much love and happiness that he gave us they will be truly blessed. Boys will be boys, smelly and all and we wouldn’t want them any other way.
PS He wasn’t too keen to hear me talking about his teenage years and reminding him of what he would have to go through in another 12 or so years. I will just sit back and smile!!
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Great article and very timely for me personally. I am already the mum to a very energetic 19 month old boy. I have had my 20 week scan today and I have found out that I am having another boy. I had it in my mind that I was having a girl and was thinking to the future imagining big brother guiding and protecting little sister. Not to be but I am looking forward to the two boys growing up together. It crossed my mind that would I have a third child and hope for a girl but I have to be sure that I want a third child in the first place.
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Yep great! So much to look forward to. I just want them to be clean, the thought my three boys don’t think there is a need to shower and brush their teeth scares the living daylights outta of me
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I think you’re an awesome mum, Annie. I think they will (and are) turn out just fine.
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Thank you.
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Can totally relate to this. Boys are such a worry, I feel like I’m constantly braced for the worst. All-the-time!
I don’t know what’s worse though, a teenage boy or a teenage girl. I’ve had both and while the danger, carless thing worries me about my son, the dating and love thing worries me about my daughter.
As someone once said “when you have a son you only have to worry about one penis, when you have a daughter you worry about every penis” True that.
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“when you have a son you only have to worry about one penis, when you have a daughter you worry about every penis”
Hahaha. Probably one of the funniest things I have ever read on Mamamia.
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I love it too, how come I have never heard that one before, and I am 59?
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I’m not sure if I heard that or if I made it up. My daughter is 19 and I remember saying it to someone who had a baby girl not long after that. At my age it’s hard to remember where things came from!
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Well I think it’s great and I shall be passing it around from now on. You have started a new saying. Like when you think about it, it is so true. I have one son and one daughter so it would have been perfect for this household! Any other gems?
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I have heard this before, but also that whilst you only have 1 penis to look after, your daughter can only produce 1 child a year (so to speak), you son can produce hundreds! i am scared…lol.
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OMG, I can relate to this! My son is nearly 22 and has put us through merry hell at times. The fact that he has had ADHD means he often makes decisions on impulse too, which has added to the worry, but I think (touching lots of wood) that he may be turning a corner. We currently have the “privelige” of driving him about as his licence is suspended (speeding), but when he gets it back in a few weeks we can start to worry again.
Sometimes now, he will suggest going to the movies or lunch with his dad or me and actually pays for himself and sometimes us too. He even has started to go on my walks with me and best of all, I managed to drag him to the dentist the other day!
He is also planning to move interstate to start a new job, as he feels he’s not going anywhere here. I’ve to admit that I’ll miss him, but he’s all grown up now.
As for teenage girls, I’ve had one go through it and 2 to go! Gaaaarh!
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I have a beautiful 12 year old boy who is wonderful/kind/polite/funny, it does scare me to be dealing with different things very soon! I don’t know why I’m so worried sometimes because he’s given no indication (yet) of changing. I’m probably worried that one day it’ll just hit me & BAM that was it…it’s all going to be different in an instant or something?! Since this is my first son though (with one more son to go through his teenage years) I’ll just have to see what happens & learn from any mistakes. It’s hard being the only girl in my household sometimes but I’d never change it for anything. If I had a girl I’d be absolutely terrified (if my in-laws & friends girls are anything to go by)
#btw…I’ve noticed people on here can be really quick on the attack & I’m really not up for that right now! I only meant that these are the girls that I KNOW. My own personal experience. Ok? Just in case anyone is going to slam me & take me the wrong way which seems to be happening a lot…
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Just keep smiling your gorgeous smile, it will all be over before you know it and you will have the memories to look back on….it is so bloody hard though isnt it…I have to say on a scale of 1 – 10 one being bloody brillant, i like to think I was a 3, Mum and Dad may say differently, although my big Sis did take the spotlight off of me most times as she was def an 11.
I like to think I expose my 4 kids to the effects of party pleasers as much as they need to be without being mentally disturbed, I also like to think that they are assertive enough to not respond to peer pressure…but I like to think I still look OK in a bikini too…..
the thing that has had a huge impact on our family is the ‘virtue cards’, google them you should be able to find them easily there are 52 virtues or gifts within us….sadly alot of the population have forgotten or are not even aware of virtues and what they are……to me virtues are what make us who we are….. they define us, our kids need to be aware of this to contribute to society not just consume……….
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I love the way you write about your boys Annie, they are very lucky boys to have you.
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I have a son who is 15 and so far he hasn’t given me an ounce of grief. I’m sure this can’t continue forever, so I try to appreciate how lovely he is while it lasts. Sometimes I wonder why teenagers get such a bad rap, as his mates are all gorgeous too. And I promise they’re not a bunch of nerds!
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Im impressed. Do you live in country, beach or city?
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No kids but I still loved this posting (and I do have a younger brother and recall the worry my parents went through – imagine they did the same with me but I didn’t notice!)
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Such a lovely story! My brother’s almost 21, and while he has had his share of drunken incidents (one NYE I was running through the CBD to get to him in a bad state at midnight as my Mum waited in the car), he learns from his mistakes and is as a whole quite mature about that sort of thing now. He doesn’t do drugs and has never been in trouble with the law… so it goes to show that if they have the right support and moral grounding, they’ll turn out alright.
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My 4yo tells me I’m his best friend and when he comes into my bed in the morning he always says “let’s just spend some time together” when I try to get up for work.
I know I’ll worry when he’s a teenager but I will always make sure he knows I love and support him.
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That’s beautiful.
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My only boy is 4 as well. He tells me he will never move out because he always wants to be close to me forever. When I tell him he probably will change his mind when he is 25, he grudgingly agrees to move out, but his Ben 10 DVD and his teddy are coming with him! So hard to imagine him all grown up…
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To quote my nana “little kids have little problems and big kids have big problems”. Every time my three little kids drive me mad I try to remember this quote. The world is a scary place and loosing control of your children as they grow up and start making decisions for themselves is the most worrisome thought of all.
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When you no longer have all the control it’s a whole new ball game. It does get easier as they get older.
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Your nana is very wise. Never a truer thing said. Just love them – you will come through the other end ok x
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Am so scared of the teenage years! Have 2 and 4 yr old boys who are so cuddly and needy and I love to bits . Please tell me it will be ok! So scared of losing my little cuddle bunnies to all the cr?p of teenage years. I had a brother who was 13 years younger than me, so remember his teen yrs clearly. They were horrific. He was so cute when young but became a right little …. and my parents are the most there and full on caring and communicative people you can imagine. Sigh. At least it is a while off yet.
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Me too! Terrified! My boys are 5 and 2.5 and I so don’t want them to grow up!!
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I do too… two boys, 4 & 2, and just this morning I was watching them play cars in the sunshine both without their pjs on, cute wee bare bottoms in the sun. I was thinking that one day toooo soon they won’t be doing this before breakfast!!
My oldest always wants me to lie with him to go to sleep. I spent months trying to convince him to fall asleep alone, then I realised that one day far too soon he won’t even want me in his bedroom. So every night I lie there and cuddle him and wish him to stay little forever.
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Oh me too!
I spent the first 3 years of number 1s life trying to get him to fall asleep alone. Now I wouldn’t give up the nightly cuddle for the world.
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Great article, Annie. If I may I’d like to just put something out there for mothers of sons?
Last year a dear friend lost her 16 year old son to suicide. He was a top student, sportsman and all round good guy. No sign of depression. No sign of trouble AT ALL. The school didn’t pick up any signs, nor his friends or coaches.
When the results of the autopsy were explained to her, they said his levels of testosterone were off the scale. He had recently grown inches. The doctor explained that it is not uncommon and that it can have a real effect on their behaviour and thinking and that he considers it a possible cause of her son’s irrational action.
Just something to be forewarned about. Sorry to be such a drag but it might help someone.
I’ve put a comment further down but would like to add that I was never as hard on my sons as I was on my daughters and I think the fear of suicide was one reason. Where I wouldn’t have any hesitation in laying down the law with my girls, I was always mindful if not pushing the boys too far.
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I have survived the teenage years, relatively unscathed, son now 21 and daughter 19. . Like all we had our moments, I would have to say my son was slightly easier, always caring and considerate, his sulking and moods drove me crazy, fortunately he was never a real risk taker. He moved to Melbourne for uni at 19 which nearly broke my heart, but has always been extremely independent and settled in no problems. He’s living the typical ‘party hard’ uni life which does concern me from time to time. I just hope he keeps hold of that sensible trait he left home with.
Daughter and father faught terribly from when she was about 14 to 17, both very alike and insisted on the last word…. Did my head in!! But then the tables turned, they clicked and now get on like a house on fire, which is just lovely to see. Like most girls my daughter can be self centered but this is improving. She still lives at home and does not have to move for uni, which I’m very happy about, I’m not ready to be an empty nester yet. We get on very well, knowing when to give each other space and also able to sit and talk for ages.
I love them both to bits and couldn’t be more proud!!
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I have three individual, sporty, creative and sensitive boys (2 teenagers and one younger) and they are well behaved, beautiful boys. I am thrilled I don’t have girls. I see my girlfriends with girls entering teens, and they are nightmares. I have had people regularly in supermarkets (strangers) saying “Oh you poor thing, better luck next time” which I and my sons get really upset over. Surely we should take each child on their own merits. A friend of mine says ” I have 3 – one of each” by which she means that they are each individuals…..
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Absolutely we should embrace each child with their own merits. I couldn’t agree more. So I’m confused as to why you believe teenage girls are nightmares? You’ve completely contradicted yourself.
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What an awful thing to say to someone. I get the opposite. I have a girl and a boy and everyone says well done. I feel like having another child just to upset the balance.
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We actually had people (family!) ask us why we were having our third when we already had a boy and a girl. Truly.
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I have a daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for all the money in the world. I also have a son and feel the same way. Kids are who they are and how you bring them up, not what’s between their legs.
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Funny. I suspect it’s one of nature’s nicer tricks that so many of us seem to end up thrilled with the gender we get. I think my husband wanted a son before we found out we were having a daughter, and now that she’s nine months? “I am so glad I didn’t have a boy.” He means it too. Seems to be a common thing – you want one thing while pregnant but once they’re born? You are just thrilled you got the gender you got.
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Not that there’s anything wrong with boys, of course. We just adore our gal.
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Yes, I think the idea of “boy” or “girl” is really just that – an idea, an abstact concept. When you finally meet your child, you realise how much of an individual they are, and how “boy” or “girl” does little to describe them.
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The relationship between mum and daughter can be fraught during the teens, just as it can be between father and son. I’m sure a psychologist could explain why.
My oldest girl was horrible to me when younger, but now in her 20s and living independently, I think we’ll end up friends, as well as family. She has made us very proud.
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I wish someone would write a piece on this – the whole SMOG thing (smug mothers of girls). I had a friend tell me she pitied mothers who didn’t have daughters. We don’t really speak so much any more as I was so hurt by the implication that my boys weren’t ‘enough’. My family is perfect just the way it is.
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Sarah, I’m one of 3 girls, and my mother often talks about how horrible many women who had either just sons, or both sons and daughters, were to her when we were little and even now. Apparently one friend came to visit after her second daughter was born and didn’t even say Congratulations – she said ‘oh well you can try for a boy next time’. Anyway, I think there are just as many Smug Mums of Sons out there who make women with just daughters feel bad. It’s just their own insecurities I think.
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Yes! As a mum to 3 boys Im always being told if I secretly wanted a girl so I could have a shopping buddy and someone to dress up. And I say that yes I did want a girl but God gave me 3 boys and as long as they are healthy Im happy and I wouldnt swap them for 10 girls!!. It is funny after watching 60 minutes the other week on gender selection, the Dr said overwhelmingly it is girls they want selected and it always seems to be the mother pushing for it. I felt a bit sad for boys, but in India and China it is the little girls nobody wants.
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Great article, my baby boy turns 15 next week, I’m try to remember your advise.
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Great post & lovely photo of your boys. I have 2 boys under 4 & potentially a third on the way. I would’ve thought these years would be the toughest, but I’m told the teenage years are hard especially if you as the mother are going through menopause!!
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Toddlers and teenagers are remarkably similar, just no toilet training when teenagers.
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Depends on the kids. Yes I’m going thru meno pause..the boys are 12 and 15…but in a way I empathise with them. We’ve also got a 29yr old and a 26yr old, (my step kids) so we have been here before. That helps a lot, to know what is coming. Wow 15yr old boys can be soooo annoying! everything is about, rude disgusting things…but he still gives me a cuddle sometimes, when no one’s looking. My boys are kinda nerdy, it has its own issues. Whilst I don’t worry so much about drugs and drinking with them, I do worry about their vulnerability. Thank god they are not reading this…they’d kill me, you know we are not allowed to talk about them to anyone….ever…also cause we are always wrong about them….always.
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I guess I meant in that they are very self centric, and growing rapidly and trying to gain some independence from their parents. They both have “tantrums”, are defiant (at times) and don’t really have the insight to see whether their behaviour is reasonable. I remember that some of what I said (usually in anger) to my parents as a teenager seemed quite reasonable at times, but now I think how idiotic I was.
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um your son in the singlet is really hot….just saying.
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they’re BOTH lovely. high five to you!
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I’m no polygamist so I had to pick one;)
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I would love to see the sentiment were this article on sweet innocent girls, and a bloke said one of them is hot. It would be a lynch mob in no time. Ah the double standards. Love em.
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Its possible that the person who commented is quite young herself (or himself). Now if i had made that comment then your comment would be warranted.
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That’s what I was thinking lol- bet he is popular with the ladies !
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I thought the same thing lol
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As a mum of three boys, six and under, I see a lot of worrying in my future!
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This is exactly what I am scared of. I have 3 boys under 5 and am not looking forward to the teenaged years.
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It could be worse…. it could be 2 teenage girls….!!!
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Thanks for this article Annie – and really good advice. I’ve spent such a lot of time worrying about my teenagers – girl 18, boy nearly 16 – and I’ve realised that you just can’t live all your life worrying about them. Because really, apart from giving them as much good advice as they’ll take in (not a lot), you really don’t have that much control. (My theory is that those who manage to exercise control at this stage will cop it later down the track anyway.) You’ve got to give them the freedom to make stupid mistakes, just like we did when we were teenagers. It’s scary, but that’s what this stage of parenting is about. Feeding them, nurturing them, then letting them go (heart in mouth) with hope and a prayer that they’ll be alright.
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LOL detachableprincess… my son is 6 and already eats like a teenager..the actual teenage years should be interesting – I should really start stocking up now! LOL
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It’s the same in my house. My 6 yeard old eats more than i do. The teenage years will be interesting
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This is brilliant. Thanks for sharing. I have four kids (three of them teenage males) and all are very very different and i constantly worry about everything you mentioned for at least one of them at least one time. I wouldn’t swap having boys for the world. They are hilariously funny, good hearted and well mannered (to the general public at least) and two of them are the messiest people put on this earth. I don’t think Id worry less if they were girls though.
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How they behave to the general public is your yard measure. Sounds like you have some good ones there
PS I have the two messiest people on this earth, trust me!
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oh – the non communicative grunts! Man!
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Thankfully the grunts do cease. They talk so much now (sometimes too much!).
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I have a 13 year old son and although I worry that he spends far too much time worrying about his x box than his school work he is just a delight. When I am sick he will bring me cups of tea, he will offer to help do jobs without being asked to offer from his dad. He will do anything I ask, take clothes off the line, vacuum or come do grocery shipping. He may not like it but he will do it for me. His room is cleaner and neater than his ten year old sisters! And he is ever so patient with her too, more than I am that’s for sure!
Yes we have our arguments and he can answer back and think we are unfair and his life is ruined when his phone gets taken away but overall he is really lovely and I know I have instilled good values in him.
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absolute pat on the back to you… if my growing bump turns out to be a boy that’ll one day turn into a grunting scowling hormonal teenage male, i just hope he hits thirteen and i think the same as this…
all the best
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Thanks K8e. That’s really lovely of you.
And best of luck with your little bump. X
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i just read this out to my 13year old who is sitting there alternating between a game on his phone and ‘supervising’ the PS2 for his little brother.
unfortunately I am unable to repeat his response:)
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I have one of each and am terrified of both this and the hormonal girl stuff! Lovely article that gives me hope though!!
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This will sound soooooo dumb buit I just cried….
My boy is 12 & we are having the most difficult time ever. He is everything you mentioned & I am pulling my hair out with despair & worry that he will never be likeable ever again. I might sound dramnatic but those times when he is loving, caring,helpful & a joy to be with are becoming fewer & farther in between…..You just gave me hope that things may just work out OK. Thankyou.
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Oh he’ll be likeable again for sure. My oldest is 18 and a few months back i heard him telling his 15yo brother that he understood what he was going through and that he was very angry a few years ago but its just hormones and it will get better’. The 18yo was VILE for ages (it seemed) but around the time he turned 17 I realised i actually liked him (always loved him).
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Thankyou…. I know what you mean- I love the boy to bits but liking him is very hard sometimes….I always thought I’d ROCK at being the mum to teenagers because I was a young mum but so far I’m sucking BIG TIME!!!! Fingers crossed we both figure it out.
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Just curious, what do they do to seem vile?
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Moods mostly. Angry, irrational and the fights (with each other). Mine are all good value (apart from those bits).
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The attitude, the back chat, the arguments ( with me & his little brother) & the negativity. It makes having a nice conversation hard at times because he doesn’t want to listen to a thing you have said, your always dumb or stupid & he has AAAALLLLLL the answers! Everyone assures me its normal but he wasn’t always like this & doesn’t behave like this anywhere but at home- scholl & friends houses he is an angel. I just wish things didnt end with an argument more often than not…..
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I have an almost 14 year old who is much the same. grunts, rolls his eyes, knows everything, can’t be told. Ick.
but occasionally he’s wonderful and I love to tell him so.
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I think they all go through that stage, god knows I get that too, but I found the thing that works for me is to talk to him at his level. Yes at times I need to step up and be the patent, put my foot down and say this is how it is and that’s it, but sometimes I also need to speak to him with rational words. My boy understands consequences etc but accepts and gets it more when I explain why this is happening and talk to him at his level. If I talk to him calmly and with reason he seems to accept and understand his wrong doing better if that makes sense. And he then might even say yep I deserve that punishment and will ride it out. Hope some of that makes sense…
Teenagers are hard but I promise you it will be ok and best of luck. X
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Reannon, on the up side, most of them go through a hideous stage but I’ve noticed that when they do it younger it is easier to control them. My son’s friend was an absolute nightmare in his younger teens but was like a mature 30 year old by the time the HSC came around. My boys started later and it is much harder to manage when they’re older. Hope this gives you some hope!
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Oh fingers crossed!!! My sister thinks he’ll be great in a few years, that he’s just getting it all out of his system now. I hope so because I know he is funny, caring, fun & can have great conversations & I love those times, they just don’t happen as much as they used to…I try really hard to praise all the great stuff he does, I even point out & say thanks when he uses his manners, to try & encourage more of it!!! Thanks for commenting. I sometimes feel like I’m alone in this so it’s nice to hear how others cope.
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I think I would go beserk if my son smoked…I will be a mother who would be the one in the dark sunglasses and coat watching from the distance….but I have already told my eight year old son that so he knows what to expect.
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Give me a hundred girls, any day, any age. Boys scared the daylights out of me. Mine are now months off 25 and 21 but I wouldn’t go back and do those teenage years again for a million bucks. Not even 100 million and in the scheme of things they were ‘good-ish.’ I dread the thought of Grandsons. I don’t want the worry and I don’t my children to suffer the worry. At the end of the day, it seems that the survival of sons is more good luck than good management.
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Now you’re scaring ME! I had always thought teenage girls were the problem. My boys are 5 and 3 months and my daughter is 3. Everyone keeps saying the boys are harder as under-5′s and girls are easier, then it swaps at the teenage years. I hope they are right as these younger years with adventurous, boisterous, physical male toddlers are challenging. My daughter, however, will SIT STILL and color in, do stickers etc for what seems like forever.
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Maybe i should clarify! My daughters were born sensible and, for the most part, stayed that way. I really can’t complain at all about them. The boys wrestled, ran and fought from the time they were babies. They had so many injuries and operations from rugby that by the end of their careers I couldn’t watch at all. I used to sit in the car with my eyes closed and say the Rosary!! Then the drinking … And the nights when I couldn’t get them to answer their mobiles and I’d nearly be passing out with worry. The occasional rumble when out – security guards can be extremely dangerous. The natural risk taking of young men and that ‘sizing each other up’ is so base but real. I couldn’t go back and do them again for love or money. They were always gorgeous to me and all I had to do was cry if they went too far and they didn’t smoke or do drugs or anything – they’re just such a worry.
I’m eternally grateful that my surprise baby is a girl. Gawd I hope I’m not speaking too soon!!
Carly, I was once positive too. Now …. I hope I’m over the worst of it. Good luck and enjoy your babies.
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Anon, with the behaviour you’re describing, it sounds like I may have dated one of your sons!
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Can I just clarify, none of them ANSWER THEIR DAMN PHONES! Actually my son’s more likely to, even when he’s known I’m angry with him. My daughter admitted that she would look at the phone and put it back in her bag if it was me. Grrrr.
Statistically boys are at most at risk of being assaulted between 15-19 in general (fiends and strangers) and then 20-24 by strangers.
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Gosh – I am the mother of a nearly 17 year old son and a 14 year old daughter and I feel completely the opposite! My son has been so easy while my daughter is an absolute mess of hormones, risk taking and pushing every button in sight. Scary and incredibly tricky to parent – we still love her to bits of course. While I think it comes down to the individual, not just gender, there’s a part of me that’s pleased that our third child (currently nine years old) is a boy! Of course, he’ll probably prove me wrong ….
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As a mum of 3 boys under 3 I hope I like to think I am a little more positive about raising boys and the possible outcomes. Everyone’s different I suppose.
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Ooooh, I have to disagree! Everyone seems to think girls are easier, but that’s not my experience at all (I have two boys and a girl). Give me boys ANY DAY!
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I read a theory recently that said that the birth rate of boys is higher to the birthrate of girls. One of the theories behind it was because more boys die young due to stupidity and reckless factors. I thought that was an interesting spin on things. Could be that boy sperm is faster, but we will never really know, we can only surmise.
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I have two young boys, and the thing I’m worried about most when they grow up is feeding them! I have no problem being the ‘drop in and stay for dinner’ mum, but two teenage boys plus various friends – the thought of it sends me into a spin! Pasta and sausages, methinks.
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They never stop eating … when they move out our food bill will halve!
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Yes!
My (hollow I’m sure) 13 year old eats lunch at school, a full meal at 5pm and a full dinner at 7pm.
I need to cook for 5 instead of 3 so he can eat 2 portions and I can always have leftovers for him to reheat.
The toasted sandwich maker broke from overuse.
Don’t worry about saving for an education, saving for their food is a big enough job.
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