This is a sponsored post brought to you by Goodstart Early Learning.
By ANNE YOUNG
The first day I dropped my son off at his childcare centre – conveniently located several streets away I spent the day sitting at the shops waiting for him. I was torn between wanting him to have a wonderful experience with friends and my own uncertainty about wanting to look after my son myself. I rang the centre several times during the day. “He stopped crying about three minutes after you left,” they assured me. But please call as often as you like. I found their reassurance really comforting. They genuinely seemed to understand what I might be feeling and wanted to build relationships with me as well as my son.
I made the decision to put my son into care a couple of days a week not because I was scheduled to start work yet but because I wanted to make sure he had more social contact. It was always just him and me at home, shopping, or meeting up with friends… Most of the time it was so much fun but I also wanted him to form his own friendships. I wanted qualified educators to interact with him,to support him to become more independent; for him to be curious and to explore and discover…I wanted him to have a wide range of experiences which would encourage his thinking and creativity.
I visited several centres in my area and just as you know when you meet ‘the one’, I knew I’d found the right place when I walked into the centre. Everything just seemed so warm and welcoming. The educators acknowledged my son, as well as myself and I knew this made him feel really special. They really listened and engaged with children’s ideas and I could see that children were respected in many different ways. There was documentation which showed some of the learning that children were involved in – everyone seemed so relaxed and friendly.
The second day was easier (for me). I called the centre a few times during the day, but I did go home. When, I collected my son that afternoon he was just so excited and keen to share about his day. Over the next few days, I was left wondering why I hadn’t considered childcare earlier.
“I wrote my name Mum,” he announced proudly when I picked him up at the end of his first week.
He held up a piece of paper which had his first initial written in the middle of the page. That is how children show us they are interested in reading, said his educator, they always start with their first name. I wrote my number too, he said happily. I acknowledged the large numeral 3 written under his initial. I kissed him and told him I was very proud. He talked about his friends and what they ate at snack time; of the songs they learned and the sheer fun that was experienced in a day.
It was a little easier with my second child. I knew what a positive experience it had been for my first child. I also knew the educators by now and trusted them to do their job – supporting my child’s learning and wellbeing. My second boy was also happier to go because he wanted to be like his big brother. He too had a marvellous experience and made many friends.
I don’t feel any hesitation with my daughter. She already has a bag she calls her ‘school bag’, a drink bottle and shoes she is saving for play. Her brothers tell her how lucky she is to be going to their centre and remind her of the toys they played with and the songs and stories she will hear.
The early learning they gained really supported them as they moved into the school environment…. supported them for life really. They were familiar with sharing their ideas, co- operating and listening to their friends; they understood the give and take of social groups and experienced routines; they learned to persist with challenges and most of all came to see themselves as confident learners. My children have benefitted greatly from their time at the centre and I believe the relationships I formed with my son’s educator also supported me to grow in confidence.
I realised that as a parent, we don’t have to do this task of parenting on our own. There are early learning professionals in child care centres who are keen to help us in this role. High quality childcare is a godsend, to both children and parents.
Goodstart Early Learning is Australia’s largest early learning and care provider with more than 650 centres across Australia. The Goodstart team of 15,000 staff educates and cares for more than 73,000 children from 61,000 families nation-wide.
Our mission is to provide high quality, accessible, affordable and community-connected early learning in our centres and partner and openly collaborate with the sector to drive change for the benefit of all children. We’re for children, not-for-profit and believe the first five years matter and last a lifetime.
This post is sponsored by Goodstart Early Learning. Comments on this post are just for this post. If you want to talk about the IDEA of sponsored posts or the choice of advertisers please click here. We will be reading all those comments too for feedback.
Have you got kids in childcare? What do you look for in a childcare centre?
Comments
124 Comments so far
I hate seeing people that have the option to stay at home talk about their horror at people putting babies into care. I recently returned to work after 14 weeks paid leave, unfortunately my bank manager, through my mortgage contract, suggested it might be a good idea.
My partner and I are both rotating shift workers and family daycare (FDC) would have been the best, or most flexible option, for our situation. Instead though as my partner and his sister had bad experiences at a FDC centre he didn’t want to consider that as an option. So 7 months before the birth of our son we trawled the local area centres, we met the staff that run the centres, the staff that work the babies rooms. We found some were 0-1 (or walking) rooms, some were 0-2 rooms allowing more staff flexibility due to the same staff to child ratios, some had separate sleeping rooms. We made up a spreadsheet with all the information. The local council ones were a third of the cost of privately run ones but allowed all children to roam free between rooms, so babies were mixing it with 4 year olds. The manager claimed the kids loved it, we didn’t like the idea.
We chose our favourites, put our applications in and chased them up when our son was born. The staff dote on him and he is never upset. None of the other kids ever seem upset when we do drop off and pick up. My father in law does sit for us if we work weekends or late nights and I am far more relaxed about leaving our boy in daycare than I ever am on the days/nights when the family are doing the care.
As there is no daycare (other than FDC) for shift workers we have a booking for 5 days a week, if we don’t work that day we pay for daycare but don’t use it. Not because we don’t like the quality of care but because we want to spend time with our son. The amount of guilt that I felt putting him into care was enormous, thanks to well meaning people with strong opinions. However my decision to remain working to ensure we have a roof (that we love in an amazing location), and also to remain current in my industry so that we can afford to provide a good education for our son is incredibly important and all factored in our decision to start daycare at 4 months.
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It’s really disappointing to see judgement of parenting choices in some of these comments.
Parents make all sorts of choices for the care and the education of their children for a range of different reasons. There is no one way that is the right way. There are pros and cons to all choices and it’s up to parents to decide what will work best for their children and, frankly, for them.
I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child. It’s just that these days we make our own village. The village might be extended family, or it might be close friends, or it might early childhood eduation or it might be a combination.
We can not know why parents make the choices that they do, but if we supported each other a little more, I suspect some of the stress and pressure of modern parenting would be lessened.
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Thank you freja you read my mind after reading those posts.A graduate teacher have you not heard the saying” if you do not have anyThing nice to say don’t say it at all”. And Moria I’m sorry I disagree with you. To imply that guest is not or is a bad educator due to her post is very judgemental. Perhaps she wrote the post on her iPhone and god forbid the spell check changed a word or she was busy and didn’t reread her post before sending it. I know I have been in the same situation before as I am sure many people have at some point. I too am a cert 3 worker in a high quality ku centre in Sydney and like guest nothing frustrates me more than when I hear people say there is No value in early learning centres. I will be starting the diploma next year and continue on to uni after that. The posts that states that we are minders because we are in long day care and work 8 hours not 6. Each room in my centre has 2 diploma staff per nursery/toddler room plus we have 2 uni trained staff. And have had many children who have been to preschools come back because the children have gained more with what we have been able to provide educational wise and it eases the pressure of parents having to pick up by 3pm. So please don’t judge,We are hopefully all in this industry because we want to help shape the lives of young children.Not compare who could be doing it better.
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The dads might like a bit of respite from work too but they probably have to do a few hours of overtime to pay for the childcare
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I dont understand why stay at homes mums would rattle on about their sacrifices and how tough they do it only to pay someone else to do their job looking after the little children. Surely save the money and treat the kids on an end of year holiday.
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Why single out stay at home mums here? All sorts of families use childcare, stay at home mums are entitled to some respite from their children too.
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But as they are not working their contribution to the household is looking after the children not wasting money paying someone else to do it. Working mums need childcare so they can go to work to earn money.
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I love this article.. It’s lovely to see a positive article written about somethink I do passionately. I too have been working in the long day educational sector for 10 years. First off nothing fustrates me more then people who have no Idea about the sector that places judgement. I have work with every age group and have seen children thrive no matter what room they may be in. Children learn in the environment that they are in. Yes there are centres out there that are not of high quaility so I ask that parents really do your research you will be able to tell. Hopefully the government help this industry so that only the high quality centres remain. To those who wrote the comments that we are minders because we have a cert 3 what an insult.I work with a Brilliant teacher in the preschool who we work together make sure that the children have the best learning possible. I have had parents thank me for helping to teach their children and have directed parents to some children speech issues that they have not noticed at home but have been able to have it corrected before they have gone to school. I also am studing my diploma attended many trainning course outside work so I can be the best teacher I can be. And I know many cert 3 who are just as good as well. The only difference between pre-school and long day care are hours and attitudes like yours will never help this industry.
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someTHING. Training.
It mortifies me seeing the standard of spelling some people are setting for our children. please learn to spell.
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Dude, she’s commenting on a website article, I didn’t realise it needed seven drafts and an editing team. Unclench yourself.
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Graduate Teacher could have phrased her comment more gently, but I have to agree with him/her precisely because Guest identified themselves as an educator.
A great deal of emphasis is placed on the increasing level of qualifications required by early childhood educators, which in turn is meant to justify the increase in the rates us parents pay the centres. I do not mind paying more if my child is well looked after, but will raise an eyebrow when I’m told it’s because of higher standards of education of the childcare staff.
I like the staff at my child’s centre well enough, but have been dismayed when reading the activity summary for the day, to find truly atrocious grammar and spelling. Other parents have shrugged it off and commented, “Why are you concerned? The kids aren’t reading and writing yet anyway,” which I think is actually slightly insulting to genuinely competent and qualified early childhood educators.
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Thank you Freja you read my mind. A graduate teacher have you not heard the saying” if you do not have anyThing nice to say don’t say it at all”. And Moria I’m sorry I disagree with you. To imply that guest is not or is a bad educator due to her post is very judgemental. Perhaps guest wrote the post on her iPhone and god forbid the spell check changed a word or guest was busy and didn’t reread the post before sending it. I know I have been in the same situation of forgetting to rerad like everybody has at one point. I too am a cert 3 worker in a high quality ku centre in Sydney and like guest nothing frustrates me more than when I hear people say there is No value in early learning centres. I will be starting the diploma next year and continue on to uni after that.To the posts that states that we are minders because we are in long day care and have cert3 worker as well as trained staff. Each room in my centre has 2 diploma staff per nursery/toddler room plus we have 2 uni trained staff. And have had many children who have been to preschools come back because the children have gained more with what we have been able to provide educational wise and it eases the pressure of parents having to pick up by 3pm.
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I think its a good chance to children to become less “clingy”. Forces them to interact with others and helps them learn early friendship tools
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I respectfully suggest babies and toddlers have no need for “early friendships”. They need the secure bond and safe routine offered by their parents. Beyond the age of 3, they become developmentally ready for friendships.
Childcare is a necessity for some working parents, but let’s not pretend it’s an educational advantage.
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“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.” ~Abigail Van Buren
Childcare is not ‘bad’, but it is just that – care. Surely nothing is more beneficial to a very young child than the one on one care in a loving home environment with their primary care giver (ie mother) where possible.
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Oh what a truly sweet quote. Littlies don’t need friends at childcare, they need their parents just hanging out at home doing toddler stuff
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You got me hook, line and sinker.. so please tell me why would you assume the primary carer would be?/should be? a mother?
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This feels like a bit of an ugly side of feminism to me. A baby is made within a woman’s body only, made of her flesh, can be nourished by food her body creates, these are biological facts that can’t be changed – so why is it offensive to presume that a mother, more so than anyone else, would have a vested interest in being the primary carer of a being that her body created? I don’t understand why that presumption has taken on negative connotations.
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I must admit I bristle when people tell me their 9 month old needs to go to childcare for the stimulation! That does imply, that those of us who dont do that with our own children are denying them an educational opportunity or that our own children must be rather dull for not needing such an environment. Anyone who says their one year old needs childcare is obviously not trying hard enough to keep them occupied.
Lets be honest here, childcare for infants serves a purpose. It provides care for children in a safe environment whose parents are unable to do so for whatever reason.
Once a child reaches the age of about 3 a preschool education, provided either by a childcare cente or a preschool has been proven to be really beneficial for children before they start school. And it also helps them learn in a social setting so by the time they start school they can cope with being in a big group and can have a level of independence that they need.
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There is no single factor that determines a “good” childhood. One could attend daycare five long days a week, together with siblings, and live amongst a loving, secure family with lots of books in the house and lots of extended family and friends.
Someone else might never attend day care, but be brought up at home by a depressed sole parent.
It’s the whole combination of factors that influence the child, interacting with their own character, that make one’s childhood experience. There is no single make-or-break factor – except being cared for and safe.
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I really wish that parents could/would stop being so hard on themselves and others. There is no right or wrong answer about ANYTHING when it comes to parenting – there is no one size fits all. Every parent I know without exception is doing the best they can by their OWN family – which is all any of us can possibly do. It’s not up to anyone else to say what is right for my daughter, my husband or for me, and it is not up to me to say what is right for anyone else’s family. People make decisions based on what they need and what they want, and that’s ok. For goodness sake, just keep doing the best by your own family, don’t worry about anyone else’s choices, and most of all, disregard other people’s opinions about your choices. They are just that, YOUR choices. Stand by them. Know that you have made the best choices for your family, and nobody else can say whether you are right or wrong. And lets all just stop judging each other and be proud of the job we are doing raising our kids!
*Edit – I should add, this comment was written after reading the comments, not the article, but it’s the way I feel after reading the comments on any article to do with parenting on this site
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Interesting topic. As a now retired early childhood educator of 25 years and a grandmother I believe parents do what they feel is best for their child with what they have available – be they choices- knowledge – or limitations.
We only know the path we travel- the other path is unknown, so as parents we should be comfortable that we have tried to do the best we can.
We should also hold off judging the path chosen by others.
I worked in the not for profit sector for most of my time- and have to say have had not so great experiences in the profit sector when I’ve ventured there.
I would say to any parent- go with your gut instinct when choosing a centre for your child (if you have a choice.) Are the staff engaged with the children and respectful with their conversations with them?
Are are the children settled and interacting with each other and the experiences? Do staff acknowledge you and your child while visiting?
I think there is usually a sense of place you feel when you visit- and if you let yourself be guided by that- rather than any fancy bells and whistles and ‘talk’ – you will know if it’s right for you and your family.
In defence of childcare workers- the TAFE Diploma course I did was very comprehensive in regard to children’s development and how to promote their exploration of their world. Shame the rates of pay don’t reflect the knowledge base and responsibility their job entails.
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I don’t like the implication of this post at all. It is suggesting that childcare is necessary for your children, as if your child will be missing out on some vital educational or social experience if they stay at home with Mum. Going to the shops, running errands with Mum, some play dates with other kids, interaction with other family – is ALL they need when they are toddlers. Don’t be fooled into thinking your child is missing something by not going to childcare. It’s a very clever ploy. When your child is 4, they can go to pre-school or kindergarten with qualified early learning teachers – now that’s the part you don’t want to miss out on. Before then, make the choice that best suits your family circumstances, and if that means childcare so you can work, then go ahead and find a great centre. But if you are at home, then be assured that your child is getting everything they need from Mum and Dad.
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I agree with your comment about making a choice that best suits your family circumstances, but it’s important to also note; children are learning from birth.
Yes, the errands and activities are providing learning experiences but these are VERy different experiences to those in an early learning environment with qualified educators who specialise in a child’s early learning.
I don’t think the article is saying a child is missing ‘something’ – it’s just saying for her child going into a formal childcare environment is was a positive step that helped with his education and development.
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A brilliant comment. Babies and toddlers aren’t missing anything by staying at home with their parents. You’re right, this notion they they might miss out on something is a very, very clever marketing ploy.
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I fully agree Sarah. Its seems a terrible waste of money for stay at home mums to be putting little children into childcare. with a little bit of effort they can provide stimulation and interaction with others (playgroup etc) and have extra money in their wallet to take the children on a holiday.
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As many other people have said, I think it depends on the child.
Both my sister and I went to childcare from a really young age, with both parents working demanding jobs. I thrived at childcare and loved being with my friends. I never resented the fact that my mum worked and thought she was really cool because she wore suits all the time.
My sister, on the other hand, never coped well in childcare. She was the kid who wouldn’t let go of mum when she left for work, and constantly caused trouble to get attention. She grew to really resent my mother for working and having a career. There is still tension and a damaged relationship. I should also point out though, that my sister has quite a few mental health problems that also contributed to this whole scenario.
I don’t really have an answer. Just sharing my story. It will be a few years before hubby and I start trying for kids, so I think I’ll decide then!
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As someone who has worked in child care 10 years (my whole working life), i am proud to say I have influenced something like 500 children. But might I also say that for all the great workers, there are some really awful child care centres out there driven by money and putting caring, compassionate workers in difficult positions of working with the money hungry restraints (whether it be food serving sizes being small or not carrying out arts & craft activities) or doing the right thing and risking their job, or buying their own resources week after week to make sure things like arts & crafts are being done.
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I am a family day Carer. In my former life, pre kids, I was a primary school teacher. My day care kids are like an extension of my own family. Our families get on so well that we go on family holidays together, and the Mums and I go on girls shopping weekends. It has been perfect for my children and my family. My kids play with their best friends everyday. Family Day Care is awesome!
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I am in two minds about the entire child care thing. My kids have done two or three days a week of it until this year – my son has been in 4 days per week due to work.
It is a compromise I made for finacial reasons. I like having the flexibility of my current employment as I schedule all school holidays off and pick them up from school most days each week. I made the sacrifice this year to free up the school years.
Can’t help but feel my kids would be better educated if I was home more. Childcare seems ok and it is good socially but isn’t play group for socialising.
I wish I had time to teach my daughter to sew and my son to read and to do craft together and hang out. Lets not pretend it is fabulous giving our kids to others to raise. it is a compromise- for our sanity or our work or just doing the best we can do do.
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I DO think it’s fabulous. I loved school, I loved going to kindy before I started big school. My daughter loves going too – she gets bored at home, she loves having all the other kids and teachers around, she has great fun doing all the different activities that aren’t down my alley and I wouldn’t necessarily think of opening her up to.
Many anti-childcare comments seem to be from the parents’ point of view who have their own issues about leaving their kids with someone else. The kids are far more adaptable than Mum or Dad!
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I think it is fabulous too. My daughter loves it, and I have seen her absolutely thrive. She has become more confident, independent, and social, and gets so excited when we get to childcare on her two days a week that she goes. I don’t consider it a compromise at all – I absolutely loved the twelve months I was lucky enough to have off with my daughter, but I love being back at work three days a week, and she loves her two days at childcare and her special day with grandma. Plus we still get special days at home just the two of us, then family time on the weekends. We are ALL happy with our arrangement, it’s been great for all of us.
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My son’s childcare teacher was the most wonderful woman who has since become a family friend. I consider his years there to be such a happy time for our family because he was occupied and I got a break to raise his twin sisters who start there next year! It’s a KU centre by the way.
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We are at a KU Centre too!! The most wonderful carers who have really helped me as much as my son to cope with the transition into daycare!!
I was so anxious sending him but have been reassured by the care provided, and drop in at all times from 1 – 530pm and have never been worried they just “brush up” for yuor arrival.
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My four kids have all gone to daycare from about age 1 or 2 depending on where I was at with my work – I work part-time. But even during periods when I wasn’t working and was home with one of my babies, I alway ssent the older ones part-time because they enjoyed it.
Hell, I wasn’t doing craft or reading stories all day.
If a centre is good quality, child care is a really positive thing for a kid – in the same way lots of other things are positive – time with grandparents etc.
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This is timely as today was the last day of childcare for our 5 year old girl. She’s been going to the same centre for over 4 years and has made so many wonderful friends. She loved it, we loved it. It was reasonably expensive (more than $100 a day) but the quality of care was amazing, hardly any staff turnover and the range of classes and experiences was just fabulous. I never regretted putting her into care – at times up to 3 days a week. In fact she really started to blossom when i increased her days to 2-3 a week. Most people I know have used care of some sort and I have never encountered anyone who judged. Actually one person – a friend used to go on about how all childcare is wrong. She didn’t have to work and her two kids were being looked after by her parents one day and her in laws another day. Pretty sweet arrangement if you are lucky enough to have that support. I was always amazed that someone like her in such a fortunate position could never possibly consider that others may not have family support and have to work…. I used to tease her and tell her that she doesn’t object child minding by someone else but paying for it (she’s always been “careful” with money).
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High quality child care will not adversely affect your children, poor quality will. Is that clear? It is up to parents to research if your provider is accredited with a high or low standard, ask the question.
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Unfortunately because the government want parents to work, even though it is legislation to release poor quality centres names, they don’t as they cannot afford the child placements (finding places for x amount of children that would leave). Poor rated centres are even supposed to lose the centrelink rebate for parents!!
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If you have a *choice* that is.
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You always have a *choice* Guest
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This is obviously an issue that really divides people. Assuming you have a choice (many people don’t) – you know if something is right or wrong for your kids. We are in a brilliant centre with dedicated staff & virtually no turnover. We call it ‘school’ & the carers ‘teachers’. Many of the staff members are studying towards their bachelor of early childhood education. My son learns so many new things each day & asks each day if if is a school day. We thank our lucky stars each day to be in such a brilliant centre!
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Same, Meg. I love our school and teachers too. More importantly, so does my daughter.
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Child care isn’t one size fits all, our daughter loved it, our son not so much. personally I have only ever used centres that are run by the person who owns the centre. if I had an issue I wanted it to be resolved without having to go through some head honcho that had never set foot in the centre.
I think that centres should have to notify parents of any infringements they receive from the licensing board, i would want to know what was going on in my centre.
I have a friend who works in the childcare licensing dept in Perth, she pointed out the centres i should stay away from in our area.
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I’ve used child care in various forms from private (friends, family and private carers), to family day care and long day care centres (council owned and privately owned) , with outside school care being all I do now, for the last 23 years. In that time, I’ve seen good, bad and fantastic child care.
My absolute favourite caregiver was a family day care mum with a heart of gold who absolutely made my kids part of her family and even took them camping if we were both working the weekend. I have to admit the private long day centre was where my child was when they forgot to pick her up from school…twice. Not good.
I think if you need to use child care, you need to use it. People need to lay off with the guilt trips.
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Let me try this again without commenting on Goodstart Early Learning. My advice to parents is choose your child care provider carefully. I’ve worked in several and they all know how to sell their product to you, it is what they do. But what happens on the inside is often a different story. I’d like to see the regulations change so that ALL group leaders or senior educators have a diploma at a minimum, and the course needs overhauling to have more of a base in education rather than just basic child development. There are some fabulous staff that stay in the childcare setting for the passion of it, but most are not. Most staff just aren’t as educated as you might be led to believe. I have not entered a single childcare setting where there hasn’t been an epidemic of shocking spelling and incompetence at linking programming and curriculum. Unfortunately the children’s services branch of qualifications is not based on Educational research or how to plan lessons to get results and achieve outcomes. It is based on play and developing multisensory activities based on sometimes out dated theories of child development. Also the agencies that provide training for diplomas are not all regulated or equal and sadly that means that some people’s qualifications mean squat. I personally do think that child care centres are going to struggle to get qualified teachers running their kindergartens by 2014 because of the pay and conditions. I believe it is going to backfire and I’d really like to see Kindergarten come under state control to ensure regulation because it will never happen while it is private. I am a graduate teacher and I just think under the right conditions children will benefit and thrive but I just don’t believe the childcare industry is there yet. While it is profit driven it never will be. I have been in there and seen it over and over again.
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I’m an early childhood teacher & agree whole heatedly!!!
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I agree wholeheartedly.
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Kindergarten teachers will get paid as teachers not as childcare workers
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No they will not. There is a separate teachers award for the childcare sector and it does not match the school system. They are still not offering paid school holidays either, and they are still expecting teachers to work 8 contact hours with the children instead of 6, which is not conducive to stopping teachers from burning out and having adequate planning and prep time.
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I have never put any of my children in daycare, simply because I don’t trust anyone to look after my kids the way I do. Having said that, I don’t care what anyone else does with their kids. If you want to put your little baby in the care of someone else, that’s up to you. None of my business.
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Hmmm, if you don’t really care what other people do, what’s with the emotive “if you want to put your baby in the care of someone else” line? Sounds like you might have more of an issue with what other people do than you care to admit.
In an ideal world it would be as simple as people choosing to use childcare, but some people will need childcare as they need to work to survive. Staying home full time to raise your child isn’t an option for everyone. I wonder if you would take the same tone with someone who ‘chose’ to have a family member look after their child. Again, not eveyone has the option, so please consider the tone of your comments.
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My mother left me, when I was a kid, with a ” carer”. and during that time I was abused. That’s why I don’t trust anyone to look after my kids, that includes my mother. Like I said, if you’re happy to do it and it doesn’t worry you, that’s fine, that’s up to you, none of my business.
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What about when your kids go to school, will you not trust the teachers there to “look after” your kids either? What about school camps etc?
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Bags not being your kid’s Kindergarten teacher!
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Why?. None of my kids have ever had a problem starting in grade 1. They already know how to read, count, and write by then. They have friends and make friends easily, and are confident. So why wouldn’t you want to teach my kids? I hope my kids don’t get a teacher like you, if that’s your attitude.
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Because if your attitude is that you don’t trust anyone to look after your kids, it suggests that you’d be relentlessly hassling any teacher they have.
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yeah, that’s what I do, relentlessly hassle teachers. sigh!
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Hey Starr
I understand your sentiments completely. I don’t think you are being judgemental at all in your opinion. It is perhaps uncomfortable for people to hear your thoughts. You sound like a great mum who loves her kids. I know some great people in child care and I also know some shockers. I think every parent can relate to feeling uneasy leaving their kids with any carer, family or paid…just a natural thing. This article wouldn’t need to have been written if everyone felt 100% ok with child care…
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Read her comment above. We all have different reasons for our choices. Starr’s are very valid. I would be the same
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Thankyou Anon and Anonymous for understanding. I wasn’t mentally / emotionally able to leave them anyone. That doesn’t mean they’re socially awkward or I’m going to be a nightmare parent or whatever Somebody’s miss and Kris2040 were referring too. Quite the opposite actually.
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Starr’s comment about her abuse wasn’t there when either of our comments were written.
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They should be starting in kindergarten/prep not grade 1. Why would you wait until grade 1?
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Kindergarten/ prep wasn’t compulsory. My youngest will be going to prep next year only because it is now. I waited because I know what is best for my kids, and I like to prepare my kids to know how to read, count, and write by the time they go to grade 1. Not many other grade 1 kids can, which I can only think is because their parents, carers, daycare ‘teachers’ don’t teach them the basics maybe.
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Their, not they’re. I can’t edit. I know the difference, just a little mistake, before anyone decides to jump down my throat about it.
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Waiting a bit longer isn’t a problem when kids have great parents. In several Scandanavian countires kids don’t start until they’re 7 and they have a great education system.
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I think you have a very valid reason for being wary of who you let look after your kids. With regard to the comments suggesting your kids will be a problem when they start school or kindy, I know of several Grade 1 teachers who dread having childcare kids come in to their grade. They have obviously had the rare occasion of running in to a kid who experienced a poorly run centre. Just goes to prove there is no one great solution to childcare. I don’t really think you can see a big difference in behaviour between childcare and non-childcare kids – unless the childcare centre was particularly bad. You should be validated by other mums for trying to do the best for your kids. Isn’t that all any of us try to do?
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Thankyou Natalie for your kind words.
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Don’t worry about it Starr, as a teacher I don’t consider myself to be ‘looking after’ your kids in the same sense as a childcare worker does. I educate them, parents do the ‘looking after’. This doesn’t mean that I’m a cold, hard person but not as ‘caring’ as a person in the childcare setting needs to be. But maybe that’s because I teach older kids.
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I agree with you Starr, I enrolled my child into child are but when we went for a test play he was pushed over, kicked and teased by other kids all in the space of half an hour…he was quivering and looked at me with these horrified eyes. It took him 2 days to recover as he would keep crying. He was a difficult baby and has always been extremely anxious. Even at 2 he is terrified of other kids. In the presence of his family he is happy, outgoing and boisterous. I couldn’t do it to him so we have a relative come to our home whilst i work. They love each other. We are lucky to have that option. If he were a different kid maybe he would be in childcare but it is not for him. I too was left with my grandfather at a young age who was inappropriate with me. I don’t trust anyone to look after my kid. I applied for childcare when I was pregnant not thinking much of it. Now he is here I cannot leave him with people who don’t love him. he is a high needs baby and I try to help him feel safe. If he were more robust I might not be so afraid.
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I dont think its healthy to lump all children into the same box. Some thrive in daycare, others dont. Some love it, some go and dont complain and others scream and clearly hate it.
I think the most important thing for parents is to be flexible enough to admit that sometimes its not working and to make necessary changes. Nobody stays in a job they hate so to do that to a child and make them stay at a centre, or in daycare at all, because its too hard to make changes is pretty cruel.
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I really agree with the point made in this article that a key aspect of childcare is that ‘you don’t have to go it alone’ in the child rearing journey. So often parents are in terrible distress from lack of support, leading to negative outcomes for the children. Getting professional help to do the most important thing of all – raising children – should not be condemned. For me personally it has been a great to have that help and i have felt very supported by the childcare centre that has helped me raise my two children. I am not ashamed to say this as i know what an important contribution they’ve made to ensuring my two children are happy little people. I have also learnt so much from the wonderful, kind, patient and skilled childcare workers – things that reading, watching my friends & my parents didnt. I truly believe that for me childcare has been key to helping me be the best parent i can be.
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Of course a post sponsored by childcare centres is going to say “childcare is good for your kids, so stop stressing”.
I don’t like childcare. I used family daycare with my daughter and she hated it, and used to come home hysterical with tiredness.
Tried a daycare centre with my son half a day a week when he was three, I hated leaving him there and he hated being there so I pulled the pin on it.
We used to go to playgroup, toddler gym, music group etc so he had plenty of socialisation. This notion that toddlers need to be independent is nonsense and such an overused cliche to justify putting kids in childcare.
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I’m sorry your children didn’t enjoy it Claire. It’s probably fortunate you didn’t need it to work.
I do know that the kids who struggle most at our child care centre are those who are there for half or one day a week. It doesn’t seem (as a non educator) enough for them to feel comfortable and confident there.
Both my kids love childcare and loved the independence from it. Like everything else, all children and family are different. It’s not ‘nonsense’ that some toddlers like being independent or that for some children the activities you listed above are enough. My 3.5 – 4.5 year old spent most of my maternity leave complaining of boredom despite all the activities listed above. She wanted her friends.
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Same, Dee – KDot loves going and the stuff they do at her childcare.
I agree with Claire that it depends on the child (and the parent!) – K hated Family Day Care but loved the centres from the start. I also didn’t have dramas leaving her – we did a few visits and short stays then jumped in for longer days and she was fine.
She’s only going a day a week at each centre (unless something comes up) at the moment, and is going well doing that – but I agree that if it had only ever been that, she would have probably had a rougher time of it.
Every carer she’s had, FDC or centre, has told me the truth about how she was going, and didn’t care about the money if she wasn’t going to cope with the environment, too.
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Childcare is good for kids – if it’s good Childcare! I live in Melbourne 7kms from the cbd right on the cusp of suburbia and the inner city. Our neighborhood is full of educated professionals all wanting the best for their child (as all parents do) there is quite a gap between the good centers and those not so good with high staff turnover and a ‘care vs educator mentality. Hence the waiting lists are years long (up to 3 years)….I was very lucky recently and got wind of the most popular centre opening a second campus. I literally left work in a mad rush to put our names down and fortunately got in. The wait list there is now 4 years. Over the rd is another centre with no wait list. Because its terrible! So yes good Childcare is good for kids, but poor care is equally terrible for kids and something needs to be done to even up the score and make it more accessible so all children can have equal opportunity to quality care. We are fortunate our kids race out the door on Kindy days mad keen to see their friends and learn. Our previous centre looked lovely from the outside but scratch the surface…we had so many issues and after an unforgivable incident pulled the kids out immediately. Seeing their different reactions to their new centre (huge smiles) vs old centre (tears) and the guilt just goes through the roof that they went there for 18 months!!
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My daughter goes to a Goodstart, and I cannot speak highly enough of the centre and the staff. She started 2 days a week at 12 weeks old so I could go back to work (by choice and for financial reasons). She’s now 13 months and goes 4 days a week.
I think the benefits of childcare are dependent on the personality of the child. My daughter was born alert and inquisitive, and I think childcare has been the best place to nurture that. I also know some very smart, articulate and social 3 year olds who have only ever gone 1 day/week.
As with everything parenting, do what works….*for you*.
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I started my son in daycare just before he was 12 mths old. Simply because I knew no one with any children younger then 8. And wanted to socialise him and that I was in desperate need to find myself a I suffered pnd for the whole time as well as being a single mum who had no help just to watch him while I did (insert any task)it was exhausting.
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The majority of
Workers in childcare settings like long day care (as opposed to early childhood education settings like preschool) are not “educators” – they are minders with a cert 3. Quite misleading
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Agreed. Most teachers at Preschool are uni educated with a bachelor of early childhood. Big difference.
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As an early childhood teacher who works in a long day care setting I can assure you that long day care educators are not babysitters. If you go to a high quality centre, you will find that most educators are trained. A certificate 3 is a minimum qualification for these centres. At my centre all the staff are trained professionals who offer a high quality educational program based on children’s interests, strengths and needs. And as for the comparison of educational settings in leading not for profit organisations, you will find that the program they offer are the same. The only difference is the opening hours. So before you go calling us babysitters, get the facts and make an informed comment.
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Thank you! I must admit, I read this thinking that surely you don’t need to be a “educator” to be able to teach your child the alphabet!!
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I do beg to differ. Yes there are a lot of cert 3 workers in day care just as there are assisting the teachers in preschool. Most quality centres have a teacher, minimum diploma running the room and the experience the children receive is exactly the same as a preschool. I have a bachelor of teaching and i work in a long day centre rather than a preschool and my work is exactly the same. I am an educator and not a ‘minder’ and it is thoughts like this that hinder early childhood teachers in long day care settings as to be seen as professionals. Many parents these days are working and cannot pick children up in preschool hours and use long day care and it doesn’t matter as the education they are getting is the same, it is dependend on the educator not the fact a preschool rather than child care centre.
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The productivity commission did a report on the sector earlier this year – 70% of the workers only have a vocational qualification.
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To those who wrote the comments that we are minders because we have a cert 3 what an insult.I work with a Brilliant teacher in the preschool who we work together make sure that the children have the best learning possible. I have had parents thank me for helping to teach their children and have directed parents to some children speech issues that they have not noticed at home but have been able to have it corrected before they have gone to school. I also am studing my diploma attended many trainning course outside work so I can be the best teacher I can be. And I know many cert 3 who are just as good as well. The only difference between pre-school and long day care are hours and attitudes like yours will never help this industry.
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I returned to work 3 days a week when my daughter was 8 weeks old. I was lucky that my mum could care for her one day, I could work from home one day and the other day I put her into care. Many people thought I was Satan for putting my baby into daycare at such a young age. I had no qualms about it because i felt at ease with the centre and it was only the one day. She is and was always going to be an only child so socialization with her own kind was crucial from the outset. At 9 months old she went for an extra day and I picked up an extra day at work. she is 3 today and she still goes to the same centre 2 days a week. She loves it there and they clearly love her too. I dont regret daycare but in all honesty I wish I had taken more time off. There was a vulture circling my job at the time and I was feeling pressured and insecure.
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MummaD, we make the decisions that are right for us at the time. Your daughter is happy and the arrangement works for you. All power to you.
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Profit driven childcare is not good for children.
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What do you class as profit driven?
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Probably not a not for profit centre, or council owned etc.
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I agree 100% but just for the record Violet, Goodstart is not for profit, it’s owned The Benevolent Society, Mission Australia, the Brotherhood of St Laurence and Social Ventures Australia- all charitable organsations. And no- I don’t work for them, I direct for another wonderful not for profit.
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Violet, based on my experience I can’t agree. It really depends on the centre. I sent my daughter to a for-profit centre until she was 4 years old and then changed her to a council one that was closer to our house until she started school and regretted changing almost immediately. The “non-profit” was more expensive and the staff really did fit the glorified babysitter tag. Problems such as bullying or not enforcing hat wear outdoors were met with a “kids will be kids” shrug. the kids were watching Disney movies every day and they couldn’t even be bothered to organise Santa for the Christmas party.
I didn’t even hesitate about sending my son back to the for profit place and my experience continues to be a positive one. In fact, one of the staff members pulled me aside the other day and told me they were struggling to find food suited to his multiple food intolerances, so could I give them a list of what products I buy and tell them where they could them. I could only imagine that in the other place they would have told me I had to start supplying my own food.
In this case, I think the for-profit centre knows it needs satisfied parents to make a profit, whereas the council run one can coast on the fact that the waiting lists for the council run centres in our area are ridiculously long and there’s always someone to fill the spot.
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I’ve had friends tell me that childcare was good for their then 6-month-olds because it helped them to socialise. That’s plainly ridiculous – as a childcare worker agreed with me that they don’t even know where their nose is at that age, they’re not going to socialise or make friends.
If a family has to put their baby into childcare so that they can work, that’s fair enough but please don’t try to say that it’s good for them at such a tender age.
I agree with the poster that once they’re a bit older, it’s good for them to mix with other children and I think good for SAHMs to get some time out.
I’ve certainly needed it for my own sanity. My partner often works 8 days straight, often isn’t home for dinner/bath/bed or up out of bed for the morning routine and often isn’t around at weekends.
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This article doesn’t sit right with me. It reads as if her kids are getting an “early start” into education by attending child care. What are the ratios of carers to children – is it 1:10 for toddlers? I’d argue that I can give my kids a better 1:1 “early start” than child care. Italics are used as I find it odd that people who don’t use child care are made to feel as if their kids are missing out on educational learning. I, and most other parents I know, are more than capable of teaching our kids to write their own name. Attending child care will not give your child a head start on school. Attending child care will not make your child more socially adept than kids who don’t. Child care will look after your child in a safe environment while the parents aren’t there. It’s as simple as that. My husband and I made huge sacrifices so that our kids could be at home with either one of us until school age, please don’t make me feel like we deprived them of educational opportunities.
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Re ratios I think under the new early learning framework it is one carer to four babies. This goes up until the ratio is 1: 10 at kinder level.
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Just so you know, at my centre the ratio in the toddler room is 1:5. There are normally 8-10 kids and 2 carers.
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That is one of my big bug bears about child care. It simply isn’t true that children need that level of socialising, and they got that and more at home. I am also as capable of educating my child, taking them to the supermarket is one of many activities where you are constantly talking about colours, foods, words etc.
I understand people need it especially those mums who get no other time out, but it never sits well when SAHM are ade to feel like the inferior option.
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Love this Jen. Couldn’t agree more.
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My oldest used to go to an occasional care centre a few times a month in our small town. Loved it, he is a very sociable little boy, and he has handled the transition to kindy and pre-primary with ease (even though he had to move schools after kindy, and started pre-primary knowing very few other kids).
I am yet to send my youngest, who will be three in February. Not sure what I’m holding on to, as I work from home and having uninterrupted work time would be a fantastic thing for me. Possibly because I know he will be my last? He is very different from his older brother, a lot more keen on independent play so I think that makes it easier for me to justify keeping him home. Hubby thinks a day a week would be fantastic for the little one, and he is more than likely correct. Just have to cut those apron strings!
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Childcare is great – both my kids love it. My daughter is now at school & has very find memories. My son
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My daughter LOVES her daycare. She’s in family daycare three days a week. We’re moving to the country in a week which means I’ll now be a stay at home mum but i’ll be enrolling her a day a week for social reasons, possibly going up to a couple of days eventually. She loves her little mates there and we love seeing the ease with which she handles kids of all ages thanks to it.
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My daughter started day care at 12 months of age. Almost 18 years later she has just successfully completed her first year at Sydney Uni, after having earned a very good HSC result. She has lots of friends and also holds down a responsible part time job. She is fiercely independent and we have a very strong relationship. Just imagine what she could have achieved with her life if I didn’t subject her to the horror of day care
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Sounds exactly like me…and I didn’t go to child care at all until kindy at about 3…truly this issue has been discussed too many times. Do what is best for your child and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about anything!.
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Whether childcare is right or wrong is all dependent upon two things, I think:
1. the age of the child
2. How often they attend
My child is two and he goes 2 days a week. We started this only when he turned two – before that, my partner and I juggled his childcare and work between us, with both of us taking equal turns at home.
From next year, the year he turns 3, he will start attending 3 days a week.
So for him childcare is a fun, occasional activity. A break from home. A diversion.
But if he was there five days per week? Then I think childcare would not be a fun activity. It would almost become his substitute home. It would be his life. He would be away from his home and his primary carers, his parents, far too much. And I don’t want that for him.
Once a child can run and round and play, childcare has value.
But when they are still babies? Not so much…
At my child’s centre (a Goodstart centre), there are a few small babies of six months of age (this is the minimum age they take them at that particular centre). They are usually crying, and often seem quite distressed. My heart goes out to them.
Although I know many mums have no choice, I just don’t think, at six months or so, that it’s right to put babies in childcare.
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This is so not true. Both my boys went from 6 months when I returned to work part time and I am quite certain they loved it.
They got to do stuff there was no way I had the patience to do with them at home (messy stuff) – or the resources. They had the undivided attention of people who did not have to do the washing up or hang out the clothes, whose sole purpose was to help them have fun or play with them or feed them.
They also got the chance to interact with other kids the same age which my daughter who still hasn’t gone has not had the chance to do. She is still amazed when we see other little people because she mostly socialises with older kids her brothers ages or older.
To suggest that the only babies you see in childcare are crying or distressed has got to be an outright lie to back up your opinion because in the 5 years I have had at least one of my kids in care this has never been something I have seen.
The last part of your post is very hurtful to people who have to put thier kids in care, and not factual at any rate either.
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You need to add
3. The temperament of the child. Some kids take to day care quickly, some don’t.
I tried Family Day Care with my daughter, and she LOATHED it – I think it was because she likes having her own space too, and that’s a bit harder with one carer in a smaller space – she can wander off and do her own thing at her centres.
She’s been going since 11 months, and took to her centre no dramas, but FDC? No way. She’s 20 months now, it still totally suits her – much more interesting than being home with me, and I go to uni full time anyway. I’ve cut back to 2 days a week for now because I have a full day at uni and a day for uni work and other appointments. She loves going and it keeps her toe in the water for when we go back to more when uni’s back.
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Whether it is right or wrong is dependent on two things – for YOUR family.
For everyone else, they have their own idea of what is right and wrong.
I believe most parents do not put their child into child care at a young age to go shopping or socialise themselves.
Every parent is trying to do the right thing and comments like these on this article do nothing but make those parents that are trying their best feel bad.
I’m sad that the children you see at your day care seem stressed but perhaps that is more to do with your day care than their age. The babies at my daughter’s childcare seem to be having a ball as I pass their playground on the way to my daughters. I also know how much my daughter and her friends love interacting with the babies.
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good childcare is good for kids, bad childcare, where the main driver is profit, is bad for kids.
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I think bad child care, whether its driven by profit or not is bad for kids. Not all non-profit childcare is automatically ‘good’.
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I think child care is wonderful for children a couple of days a week as long as they are not wee little babies. Mothers that throw them into care at 6 weeks full time, I simply will judge.
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Some mums wouldn’t have much choice – or maybe they figure they’re setting a better example than staying at home and claiming benefits.
It’s not my situation, but it was my mother’s. My father killed himself while she was pregnant with my brother, so she went back to work when he was six weeks old. Plenty of women judged her too.
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Lily i’m terribly sorry for the loss of your father, what a sad situation for your family, it sounds like your mother did the absolute best she could in such a sad situation.
I am a SAHM and i am not entitled to any benefits. I’m agog that you think that i’m not setting an “example” for my children? I tell my children that some women work outside of the home and some women work within in it – we’re ALL working, paid or not. I believe the example i’m setting is that it’s okay, it’s wonderful and it’s a privilege to be able to say that my work is as a “mother” and to not have to tack onto that 67 million other titles to feel justified as a woman in the 21st century.
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Lily’s not having a go at stay at home Mums, she’s saying that putting your kids in care and working or doing something is better than sitting around on the pension if you’re a sole parent. If you’re a stay at home mum and not eligible for any payments from the government, does that mean you have a partner who provides financially?
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That is exactly what I was saying, thank you!
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Gilchrist, with all due respect I think you’ve completely missed my point. I don’t think you’re setting a bad example at all. I’m due to start a new life as a SAHM next week too. What I’m saying is all households need an income. Either someone works to bring in the bread, or you need a government support mechanism. I assume your partner supports your family ( I may be wrong). In my mother’s case, she didn’t have that any more so it was either work or get benefits. She didn’t want to live off other people’s money so she went back to work.
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Also, I just know now someone is going to get upset by my choice of words with ‘other people’s money’. Poor choice of words, badly expressed. There are many people VERY deserving of my tax dollars! I’m just trying to recount a story here of my mother’s decision and why we should all accept there are many shades of grey here.
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I agree here and would love to clear this over generalisation about SAHMs. I also dont qualify for any benefits and dont know any SAHMs who do. So please lets stop assuming that mums who are at home caring for their family are sitting back watching TV and living on benefits. Most of us are taking an extended break from our careers because, for our families, that is the best choice.
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Ok, I give up.
I’m going to bang my head against a wall now.
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Lily, I wasnt directing my comment to you specifically. My comment was just in response to many other comments previously about SAHMs and how we’re all apparently living off other tax payers through family payments to fund our choice.
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You’re right of course, Lily. There are as many different circumstances as there are people. We should be appreciative of the options available to us, regardless of whether we choose/need to use them.
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I get that some things are right and some things are wrong, and on some issues there are no shades of grey. But whenever somebody says “I don’t care. I simply will judge”, it is almost always in reference to an issue where there really are shades of grey … as Lily just pointed out.
A far better rule of thumb would be to judge people whose personality and life circumstances you know.
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Natasha, at 6 weeks they dont know or care who is holding them, feeding them or changing their nappies. I start the first kid at 3 months because I had to. Because he was well in the routine before he turned 9 months and the beginning of understanding they are a separate identity we had no separation anxiety issues. So child no 2 also went early. Now they are socially confident, at the tops of their classes and more independent than most.
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Good one. I put one of my kids into care (part time) at 8 weeks and him and his older sister in full time care when he was 4 months. His sister had been in full time care since she was 16 months. I felt bad enough as it was, but I was studying and courses were harder to do part time years ago. As I was single, I needed to educate myself to be able to earn a decent wage. Go ahead and judge.
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Just like anything to do with bringing up kids, there is no one-size-fits-all answer.
From my personal experience, my kids have benefited hugely from Occasional Care. One went to long day care for a while and it wasn’t the best to be honest. She thought it was fine but I noticed a real change in her behaviour and it wasn’t a good one.
A close friend of mine has her two kids in long day care (7.30am till 7pm) 3 days a week since they were a week old each. Her daughter has thrived there. Her son, a totally different story. They are different kids. They have different needs and respond differently to various environments.
And ‘high quality child care’ is neither accessible, available or affordable to the masses.
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That depends on what state you’re in. Im in SA and can’t believe what my friends in Eastern states have to pay. They can’t believe how little I pay for just as much if not more.
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