by EM RUSCIANO
How I’ve missed you all.
Sorry that I haven’t been around much. You see, I have been doing the radio show, getting separated (let us not make any eye contact over that one and move on to the next point) and preparing for my upcoming Melbourne International Comedy Festival show.
(Please come, for the love of God please come. It’s for the ladies, it really is. I want women there in their droves.. The Gays and straight men are of course welcome too. SHAMELESS PLUG! CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS! LOTS OF THEM!).
With all the seriousness of Daniel Day Lewis at a method acting convention – I thank you all from the bottom of my empty, black, broken heart for your kind emails, comments and messages re: epic marriage fail.
I am doing okay, the emotions seem to come in waves. Sometimes I am totally kick arse strutting down the street in my own private video clip and other times I see a family together and burst into tears. So, swings and round-a-bouts I guess!
I’M FINE OKAY GUIZE!
That’s all by the by, as I wish to discuss a different topic all together today. If you would all be so kind as to indulge me.
I was driving to work this week and heard Chrissie Swan on the radio talking about how women are treated when they return to work after giving birth.
This interested me because, a) Chrissie is grouse and b) I have been through that experience twice.
A woman rang in and said: “I just want to be treated like everyone else. I want the same treatment that a man would get if he had been off having an operation.”
Wait. Really? What the what?
Instantly I thought: “Lady, the only operation a man could have that would even remotely resemble giving birth would possibly be having a watermelon removed from his small intestine, through the eye of his penis.” (Sorry, too far?!)
The thing is, I wholeheartedly disagree with my fellow sister.
I think women who return to work after giving birth should be treated differently. I think they should be hailed as warriors returning from a victorious war.
I wanted a parade when I returned to work after giving birth. I felt that what I achieved was so fecking impressive, it deserved accolades.
I wished for and needed special attention considering the fact that every orifice was still leaking.
I wanted a magical room put aside for me, made to look like an enchanted forest complete with deer, where I could nap, cry and have grapes fed to me by topless hard-bodied men.
I felt the people I worked with should have (for at least a month) gathered and clapped as I arrived and left work everyday.
You see, in this situation, we are not the same as men – so why should be be treated as such? In this situation we as women are so far superior to them that the men should be made to bring us tea/coffee/gin and tell us we are pretty and smart and good at all the stuff.
Incidentally this isn’t a female vs male type situation. This is more a “you own that shit girlfriend and be proud of what you’ve accomplished” type of situation.
Seriously though, I worry that we’re getting so caught up in the work place equality business (which of course needs addressing, equal pay and all that. Rah Rah sisters are doing it for themselves. *Burns bra*) that we’re forgetting to give ourselves props when we truly deserve it.
In this instance, I feel the human who produced the new human should be given extra special treatment.
I understand that giving special treatment to a new mum in some work places it may be frowned upon and seen as a weakness. But those work places are stupid heads and will probably end up out of business and living back with their parents.
What do you all think? Do you think women should be treated like nothing has happened after they return to work from maternity leave? Do you wanted to be treated the same as a man at your workplace at all times?
Em Rusciano is the host of Mamamia Today on Austereo (which you should be tuning into at 3pm every weekday on the Today Network) and regularly appears on Network Ten’s ’The Project’. You should follow her on Twitter here and take a look at her website here. You can listen to podcasts of Mamamia today here.