by AMY CHENEY
After nearly wetting my pants when I read this, I propose to attach the following additions; take notes old people.
1. Any toy from the $9.95 and under bins. You know the ones sitting tempt tingly close to the enormous line up (of which you are unfortunately part of) at your local Australia Post Shop? The ones you tend to just rifle through with no higher purpose than that of relieving your boredom for ten seconds? The ones with the 1000 piece puzzles? I have news. 1000 piece puzzles are not character building and frankly I don’t need it sitting on my dining room table half finished for the next two months. There is enough crap on my dining room table as it is. Put.It.Back.
2. Any kind of fake pets. I know that Karen covered real animals in her blog but don’t think that in lieu of a real animal you can give a fake; like pretend dogs and cats; fur-reals if you will. Because unfortunately even the fake ones shed hair too (especially when it is being overenthusiastically ‘styled’ with the Barbie brush) and if I wanted to look like a crazy cat lady with fur all over my clothes, I’d just get a cat…or ten.
3. Any toy requiring batteries - which you have not already put batteries in. Because the remote control only has so many that you can pilfer and call me a lazy arse but I like having a remote control that actually works.
4. Any toy which needs a tool kit just to dislodge it from the pack it is ensconced in. Quite frankly the high pressure situation of a three year old bursting with excitement because they wanted that Barbie out of the pack, like, yesterday, is just too much at 5am on Christmas morning. Plus Barbie runs the unfortunate risk of me losing patience and just yanking her from the box; which may or may not (read; may) result in the loss of one of those scrawny limbs of hers.
5. Any toy that requires more than five minutes assembling from me. Lego creator packs I am looking at you – there is no way a five year old could put that shit together.
Craft packs – every parent’s nightmare
6. Any toy that is significantly more fun than the one I purchased for my children. They already think they love you more; thanks largely to your refusal to discipline them in any way, shape or form, but please don’t out-do me at Christmas.
7. Anything with the words ‘craft pack’ on it – no glitter, paint, sparkles, impossibly small beads, crayons the baby will eat, glue, texta, feathers, sequins or buttons.
8. Any toy that requires sibling involvement. So that game that says ‘Fun for the whole family’ or ‘Requires two or more players’ in very small print on the side of the box? Out. We all know how that is going to end.
9. Hideous clothes and/or shoes that you know I am going to hate and they are going to love and demand to wear everyday for the next six months. This is the gift that just keeps on giving. If you want to walk down the street with a five year old dressed up like a cheap hooker with high heels on then save it and let them wear it when they visit your house.
10. The gift you gave them last Christmas which they are now asking you to replace because they can’t find the original. It went ‘missing’ for a reason. Just let it go.
Amy x.
Amy Cheney is a sometime writer and mother of three little bitties (who quite literally drove her insane). You can check out more of her work here.
So, Christmas presents. Anything on your anti-wish list?
Comments
169 Comments so far
I know I’m a bit late to this party but that was hilarious! I feel ya, sister!
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So basically don’t buy them any toy that will eventually require you to have to “parent” them at all? Let’s just get all of our kids iPads, that’ll shut them up.
“Any toy that requires sibling involvement”. Yes, God forbid they play and bond with their siblings. My favorite presents growing up were those that were intended for both my brother and I to use together.
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Thanks for your feedback MM readers. Now here is what I posted on my link to the article [my feedback to your feedback]:
Copped a heap of flak last week from people with no sense of humour on the Mamamia website for my article ‘10 things I don’t want anyone to buy my kids for Xmas’. Apparently I should have put a warning on it not to read any further if your sense of humour has expired or if you believe Christmas is about being thankful for the people and blessings in your life instead of being thankful for stuff. Anyhoo, I didn’t …[put the warning on it, that is] then felt compelled to do a follow up list of what is suitable for my kiddies for all those whiney unimaginative jerks. Luckily I realised; why should I have to do their Christmas shopping too? They can think of their own cool, out-of-the-box ideas [like little red wagons and balloon balls and tree blocks and colouring in pencils] because I’m too busy eating chocolate and wrapping re-gifted craft packs for my nieces. Ax
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Bit of a late reply I know, but I read this list waiting to “feel” the humour in it, and I just didn’t. The author should know that this list, seriously missed for most readers. You have just basically told people that anything they buy your children is crap or too messy, and if not, it will outdo your present buying which will piss you off. There is no spirit or humour in that. The gifts people buy your kids is about seeing their faces light up with excitement, not about pleasing you.
My parents bought my niece (10) and Furby pet, and my nephew (8) an iSpy tank and I am fairly certain they might have been the favourite gifts they recieved this year, but I don’t see my sister or brother in law complaining about being outdone. The thrill of seeing their excitement and then my Dad – their Grandad – (56) going to get tools to get it out of the box and unscrew the battery compartment, everyone helping to find the right apps to download and test the toys… that is what Christmas is about. But if you’d ever watched… 3 generations of boys in a family all playing together with a remote control flying UFO and squealing every time it hit the ceiling and fell to the floor… or 3 aunties, 1 mother and a 10 year old trying to speak Furbish and make a Furby dance to miss 10′s favourite 1 Direction song… then you’d know that the greatest joy of giving presents, especially to kids, is that they can bring a whole family together.
Said 10 year old also received a hot glue gun for arts and crafts for christmas, probably at the top of the banned list… but I must say I am looking forward to hanging out with her later this week. We plan to build Furby furniture out of paddlepop sticks or twigs
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Delightful! But what do you do when your child actually asks for these kinds of things? Take a look: http://www.daddyslittlemiracle.com/2012/12/my-son-wrote-letter-to-santa.html
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Aunty “Awesome” (obviously a term used loosely), you are a multi tool.
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Who would have thought that such a light hearted article on gift giving could be so controversial? I think many people have misinterpreted this article as offensive and ungrateful (probably due to the fact that they have indeed purchased these items for their children) when in reality, Amy is clearly taking the ‘mickey’ out of the products and toys themselves rather than those who give the gifts. Honestly have any of you never been frustrated trying to unwrap the 1000′s of cable ties that restrain toys or by that fake dog that just will-not-stop-barking? Congratulations Amy on a humorous article that allowed me to laugh along with it because at one point or another we have all looked like crazy cat ladies or had that bit of glitter on our foreheads for weeks! The things we do for our kids
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You are so right! Lots of people have become a bit defensive about this article when I agree it was a bit of light hearted fun. Made me laugh anyway because I too raid the tv remote for batteries & have broken up World War 3 fights over Monopoly & who did/didn’t rob the bank of cash ha ha
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I thought we had this problem solved this year. My sister in law and I received the same toy company catalogues from our respective child care centres. We sat down together with our mother in law and worked out which child would get which gift from the catalogues. The child care centres use it as a fundraiser so it’s win-win. It would have been perfect. Except that the toy company didn’t deliver everything and I didn’t unwrap the package from the child care until last night when I was wrapping gifts, so now I am short 4 gifts and no time to replace them before we go away tomorrow.
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So funny, an uncle gives always gives my child the noisiest cheap toys ever that break after a few months but are always the largest presents. We now take pleasure in giving his kids the crafty glitter messy little bits of toys ever. It’s an ongoing joke with us but each kids love the gifts.
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That’s the Christmas Spirit!! Love it!
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And please…no hand cream, body scrubs, shower gels, body creams, lip balms for children under 10!
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Oh dear, I’m guilty of buying those for young children. I give bath bombs and things from Lush usually. Can I ask why they are a problem? Is it the artificial additives? Because then ones from places like the Body Shop would be ok?
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In my opinion, the lip balm is ok for maybe 8 up (if they have older siblings and have been exposed to makeup) but everything else really isn’t age appropriate.
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Bath bombs are cool and my kids love them, especially the ones from the Body Shop! Bath bombs are like bubble baths anyway. Don’t worry about.
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Bath bombs fine, everything else inappropriate! Seriously, kids should not be worrying about wrinkles and make up! ugh!
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If anyone buys my sister’s kids battery-operated noise-making toys they end up as “bath toys”. She’s a genius.
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Not the funniest way of getting the message across perhaps, judging by the responses, but I do appreciate where you’re coming from Amy. The trouble is, it’s subjective – I (and my kids) love play-doh and Duplo (for now…hubby can’t wait til; they’re old enough for real Lego!). I am just about to succumb to craft kits…with a new baby due in the new year, anything that keeps my daughter utterly engrossed while my son naps and I deal with a newborn is welcome. The trick is to *teach them to tidy up after themselves*. Not easily done, I’ll grant you, but the pay-offs can be huge. On a good day
I think part of the problem with the cheapo gifts is that the kids have already get them for birthdays (when they have lots of their little friends coming to parties), so my (smallish) house reaches saturation point quickly. We’ve been lucky though – apart from some truly terrible books (Mr Men collection or Disney Princesses complete with songs anyone? – that one has gone into the forbidden cupboard of mystery) my kids have been given lovely presents. The only time we’ve given direction to relatives is when they’ve asked, or when I had to tell my parents to ease up on the big things (train table, HUGE toybox, rocking chair etc) simply because we’re running out of floorspace.
I know a lot of people have said “a gift is a gift” and “it’s the thought that counts”, but the first is false, and the second is an excuse. Buying landfill that does double-duty driving parents up the wall is in a different league to a book that parents and kids enjoy reading over and over and that can be passed along, or that stimulates their imagination (and I include crafty things here
, or gets them playing outside. Some of the best gifts my kids have received have been secondhand books – cheap but so valuable. Which brings me to “it’s the thought that counts” – is there really much thought in grabbing a bit of plastic landfill as you hurriedly wind up a shopping trip to Big W? In buying gifts purely out of a sense of obligation? In that case, I (and hopefully the kids) would probably prefer the thought – a heartfelt “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Birthday”, and kiss and a cuddle.
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It is subjective! My son at 4 could not get enough of the Mr Men books, he loved them. I loved them too at the same age.
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I read the comments and people are getting a bit serious! I agree with this article. It is funny while being true.
My biggest issue is the waste of money on over indulging children. They don’t need all that stuff. It clogs up the house and diminishes the specialness of the rare exiting gift. My kids love dolls just now and a beautiful doll would be a perfect gift. Unfortunately the over competitive relatives have showered my daughter with fancy dolls since she was one. the look a bit mangled now or have gone to the op shop due to the over flow. Such a waste getting kids to much to young. It really does spoil Christmas and creates greedy spoiled children. My kids have received everything in multiple volumes at ages that are much to young and it takes away the pleasure these things could give at an age appropriate time.
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Yes!- love this. shame no one listens except my dad. He gave them a fride magnet each. cheap and made them happy.
The over the op crap pisses me off especially from my mother in law who never actually visits the kids despite living a block away and tries to make up. For it with junk. I specifically said no batteries, no barbies, nothing bigger then a baby. But no she figured out that now we have a big house she will fill it up with crap that takes up half the room and contained batteries and remote controls( I especially hate remote controls)
She always out does us as we go or modest gifts as I don’t believe in excessive junk collecting.
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I was asked what my 2 year old daughter would like for Christmas by some of my family. I have told them all that she will be happy with anything (unwrapping the present will be the highlight), however I would love it if they gave her toys that aren’t typically ‘girl’ toys. She is an only child, and I think she’s missing out on all the cool stuff that tends to be given to the boys. I was met with some eye rolling though. My bestie gave my daughter her xmas pressie early and it was a tool set and my daughter loved it! Also books are great pressies :O) Having said all this, presents are about the recipient (my child) not about me, so I wouldn’t be upset if she received something ‘girly’.
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Hillarious, all very tongue in cheek I imagine, but I’ve been through all of those and love this little post.
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It’s not actually that much of a thrill to buy your children presents. How about we just don’t bother?
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Last year i actually suggested this to hubby’s side of the family as i was sick of being given cheap crap after i had spent time and money giving a thoughtful gift. I was promptly shot down in flames.
Well, lo and behold, this year one of the ‘shooters’ suggested we don’t exchange gifts and i couldn’t be happier. Children are indulged enough as it is.
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I don’t know… as a parent of two little girls we have received a lot of barbies, high heels, craft sets, chinese plastic CRAP but I really can’t complain. It is after all the thought that counts and I teach my kids to be grateful for their presents and say thank you. If they like it they’ll play with it, if not…then too bad. Personally my favorite gifts for the kids are books, colouring pencils and colouring books, puzzles, and toys for outside (for the pool, the beach, the garden).
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Why don’t you just ban your kids from having fun on Christmas. :-p
The gifts are for your children and not for you.
1 – If you don’t like puzzles taking up space buy a roll up mat for puzzles so you can store it away.
2 – No fur real pets because they shed hair? I nearly spat my water out when I read this! Ridiculous.
3 – Coles and Woolworths have batteries on sale this week.
4 – Use scissors.
5 – My son was building lego structures at age 4. Try helping them.
6 – Outdoing you at Christmas? I don’t think your kids really care. They are just excited they got a really cool present.
7 – So basically nothing that allows your child to be creative.
8 – 2 or more player games teach your child to share and play well with others.
9 – Put the clothes you don’t like in the dress- up box.
10 – Throwing out a child’s gift because it irritates you is cruel.
The one present I have banned my 6 year old son from having is a skateboard. He doesn’t have the best co-ordination skills so I can see it resulting in a broken limb. IMO a skateboard would be dangerous and my family respect my decision (until he is older).
This list seems ridiculous to me. I hope it was written as a joke.
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I loved your response I totally agree! (Except for the no skateboarding ;p )
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This article is totally tongue in cheek! I don’t understand why people are getting so upset?! It’s a funny article
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yes….its a joke.
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I know that now obviously.
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Haha, I was congratulating myself on having followed every one of these rules by buying my god daughter a penny skateboard . . . then I got to this comment. Ouch! Nah, its all good, the kid has grown up learning to surf, Im sure she will enjoy it
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Darling teen, please do not give me a xmas wish list a month before xmas with links to amazon.com and then change your mind one week before xmas when gifts have been delivered, saying but all I want is cash for concert tickets.
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My only rule besides no guns and high heels, was noisy toys. Like drum kits, or something that bounces around whilst emitting loud loud noises. ‘Cause if you did it would always get taken with us when we came to visit and mysteriously get left behind. A few people learned quite quite quickly..I admit to having no shame in this matter…lol
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Oh my gosh Amy, hilarious! So on the money. Would you mind forwarding your post to every family member and friend who will buy for my kids?
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Is this tongue-in-cheek? Thankfully some of the comments are!
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I loved this article! It really made me laugh. I’m a mum of 3 and of course my kids have all the things listed here & some I’ve even bought myself! I don’t think it should be taken as seriously as some people have taken it- it just points out some of the downfalls of the toys mentioned in a funny way. I also love giving these types of presents to my nieces and nephews because I get a tiny bit of pleasure from knowing that the loud/musical/lots-of-pieces toy will be a tad annoying for the parents! Ha ha
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A gift is a gift…. Most of the time it’s not up to you what is given. I think parents/adults who tell people what to buy or not buy there kids are missing the point of gift giving! I say appreciate what you get and if you don’t want your kids to play with it, or can’t be bothered to put in the effort to put it together, or to play with it with them, then what kind of parent are you? Craft sets, play dough and Lego are some of the best pressies for kids. I know my 4 nephews have loved growing up getting these and my brother and SIL take the time out to play with them. Also gifts for all 4 boys to use like slip and slides or board games are great, especially on Xmas day with the entire family. I know I won’t complain when my daughter gets gifts from her loving family. I’m sure it won’t matter to her or them if it’s something I want.. The gift was for her after all so if she’s happy then I’m happy!
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Please do not pass of your cheap holidays souvenirs from Bali 6 months ago as Christmas gifts to my kids whilst still expecting an expensive gift for your children.
Please do not announce “we are not giving gifts this year, we are donating to charity” – whilst still expecting family members to buy you and your child gifts.
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This made me laugh! Poor you
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Last Christmas just when it was time to do the family KK gifts a family member stated that they hadn’t brought a gift as they donated the money to a charity instead. I have that family member this year & I went shopping via Oxfam gifts where I brought him a goat & a couple of chickens.
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Perfect!
Sounds like my SIL who gave me a detailed list of designer brand tshirts and shorts her kids wanted for Christmas and then told me she was giving Oxfam donations this year for everyone!
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This!
I agree, if charity gifts are your thing, ask for them yourself. I find they tend to be given by those who are generous with themselves but not so generous when it comes to giving to others. They give you a charity gift and still expect the $50 gift from their wishlist for themselves!
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Seriously? I can’t believe people do this? We have a KK this year with one side of the family and since we are only doing this so everyone has something to open, I have done World Vision giftcards saying they had bought chicken/eggs etc. I would NEVER expect anyone to buy my children expensive gifts when I am doing charity gifts. I can’t believe people do that!
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Amy, with respect….I’m glad that I don’t have to get gifts for your children. It sounds as if it is harder to please Mummy than it is to please her children ! I can imagine your friends and relatives, reading this article and recoiling in horror that what they’ve purchased just might be looked down upon.
Sorry !
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Agreed!!
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I don’t….absolutely do not want….another tiny photo of my niece and nephews in a frame purchased in a two dollar shop !
I’d prefer a bag of cheap lollies from the two dollar shop.
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Oh god. This
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YES! The photo frames never match my deco and I have their adorable photos in my phone should I feel the need to gaze upon them!!
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Personally, I don’t want anything that adds to any clutter of any kind added to our household (including me). We have too much stuff already. And now that the Munchkin is 6, he already has everything that’s fun and interesting. So iTunes gift cards all round it is please – we buy audio books with them, and he LOVES them!
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Well, I’m sorry, parents-of-children-that-I-love.
I am going to try my hardest to get something for your kid that they are going to love. If I out-do you, then you didn’t try hard enough. You should know your own kid better than i do, and you should definitely be spending more than i am (I’m a generous gift giver, but I still dont spend about half of what I think is reasonable for their parents to spend). If its messy – suck it up. Surely the happiness of your child is worth a bit of glitter. If you let me help them with that craft project, I will help them clean it up. If it needs batteries, yeah sorry, I totally meant to buy those but I forgot because I was so excited about buying your kid this amazing present. I’ll help them take it out of the packaging, because I want to play with it with them. Don’t worry, I carry a multi-tool in my bag.
This Christmas, UncleAwesome and I are giving our 5 year old nephew a set of wheels… To be used on a billy cart we will help him to make and build out of timber at our workshop
(we may do the same for his 3 year old sister too. We haven’t decided yet. We want to ponder for another couple of days 
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AuntyAwsome, I wish you were my Aunty.
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You sound like a great aunt – but I’ll have to pull you up on the glitter thing. You can’t visit and “help clean it up”. We still have glitter underfoot from some kids’ craft done in October, I don’t know how or why it evades all attempts to sweep, vacuum or wipe it up!
Amy’s article has enough truth to be funny, and I don’t really see why anyone would be offended by it – unless gift pressure is getting to them.
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Glitter is the herpes of craft…easily spread and impossible to get rid of.
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We’re very big on craft here but often I’ll be out somewhere and people will point out that I have glitter on my face. I’ve given up on trying to get rid of it so our house glitters and so do we!
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This list pretty much rules out everything haha
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Father Christmas please do not leave playdoh at my house no matter how good my kids are.
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playdoh’s the best though. I buy it every year for my kids. I love making burgers and pizza for my kids to ‘sell’ in their shop.
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I would love to send this with some added bits to my mother in law, who always manages to buys stuff that is 1. not age appropriate 2. breaks almost immediately because it is cheap junk 3. has no idea what my kids are into therefore all this stuff ends up doing is filling up my rubbish bin!!! I get some people can’t afford much but when they buy junk they are not only wasting my time and patience and disappointing my kids but they are effectively wasting their own money. its just frustrating when it happens birthday after birthday and xmas after xmas!!
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maybe she knows that whatever she buys isn’t ever going to be good enough for you. Your lucky your MIL even buys stuff for you guys. Mine, even after 22 years has never.
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Oh me too! Ours always get the toys that are appropriate for about two years older than they are now, not that I am not grateful, but it just means I have to store the bloody things for two years! Like a hobby horse for a one year old.
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I assume u have one of those passive aggressive MILs. I hear ya.
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I agree with most but my girls love craft packs and so do I but even though I’m a 27 yr old mum I’d prefer my kids to be doing messy art then art on a iPad
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Ditto… except I’m 28
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Phew – I’ve already given a craft pack this year : s
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Absolutely. Art, craft, playdoh and anything else creative is all my daughter ever asks for. It thrills me to bits and i encourage it 100%.
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As always with any article relating to kids/parents, the comments are so divided.
I get both sides of this article. The side about parents having a laugh at themselves and the things that drive them crazy. I can certainly related. I’ve many-a-time nearly decapitated a Barbie or Strawberry Shortcake doll trying to dislodge her from the packaging. I’ve forgotten to buy the batteries. I’ve lamented the craft activities because they want to do them NOW, while there’s mess everywhere, breakfast hasn’t even been eaten and I haven’t managed to go for my morning wee.
But I also know that my kids would love everything on that list. My 5 year old can certainly put together Lego sets. No problem there. I think Lego is one of the best pressies and Santa is being very generous with his Lego deliveries this year. Same daughter’s middle name should be ‘craft’. She loves it. She breathes it. She’s amazing at it and she expresses herself so much through art and craft. So even though some of the mess can drive me to distraction, I know it’s great for her and it’s great for us too, because we see how terrific she is.
Miss 3 will happily play with anything that involves dolls or tiny figurines… which inevitably means that I will have to play with her… even though I would rather bang my head against the wall.
So those people getting upset about this article because they buy these presents for people… take heart. If you gave them to my kids, they would love them and I would love seeing how happy they are – well, except maybe for the hideous clothes
And about the $9.95 and under bin…. it never ceases to amaze me how sometimes that tattiest things can be the ‘big ticket item’ for the kids sometimes. My SIL gave my girls a sundress each earlier in the and a tiny package containing a bath bomb, which when it fizzled away, contained an itsy bitsy mermaid who changes colour in the warm bath. Those mermaids have been their favourite thing all year. Bizarre.
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Actually I really like the stuff you find at Australia Post! I have found some great stuff in there, and several things (like a particular stuffed dog) have been around at our house for years! I like to have a look around in there every time I have to mail something for new gems!
Apparently I’m alone in this though….!
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Your’re not alone. I particularly like their Xmas gifts. The book sets were great when the kids were little. I have received and given some of the gifts for adults and they’ve always been well received.
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I love the book packs for all ages. What a crap article. Good thing the writer’s not in our playgroup – it was a $10 limit. We had some awesome presents!
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Tomorrow, I give a little five year old girl her Christmas and birthday presents.
I asked her what she wanted and she told me “a Justin Beiber book”.
That’s exactly what I’ve got for her.
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Yeah, all the big kids (KDot can have one for her 2nd birthday
) have ipods, so they’re getting clothes and an ITunes voucher, the two oldest have kindles, so they’re getting clothes and Amazon vouchers. It’s what they want, so it’s what they’re getting. Some people seem to have trouble with this and “know better”. I love being able to ask and be told “this would be good”. They want them, they’ll use them, and they’ll be happy. I don’t understand the people who doggedly won’t give vouchers (even when that’s what people have asked for).
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My SIL is one of those people Kris. Its because she’s a tightarse and the voucher reveals how much she spends!
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I didn’t pay the face price of the vouchers I got. They were on special at Woolies!
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You are not alone! The Aus Post stuff is great. I especially like their 4 packs of books from Authors like Graham Base and other Australian authors for only $20. If you were to by those books individually in a bookshop they are about $15 each.
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Not alone! The post office here gets crammed with fabulous Christmas goodies. I love it.
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Those $10 stuffed toys from Aus Post are the best ones for a destructive dog who LOVES teddies… They last longer than the ones that are especially made for dogs.
(Which means they last 3 days instead of 3 hours… But he loves them so much
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You’re not alone! The Post Office usually has great gifts! One year they had gorgeous kids gardening kits, used all the time by my girls. The book packs are awesome. I buy them regularly to put in my ‘present box’, they are perfect gifts for kids going off to parties etc.
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Maybe someone can write the 10 worst Christmas presents for adults #1 would be for me NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gift basket which is basically just crap! Its filled with stuff I dont eat, and no thought goes into it, if your going to do one do it from the heart with stuff I may like.. Every year I get this and every year I promise to do the same back but im just not that cruel
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#2 would be scented candles sets & cheap perfume
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Foot spas
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Hand creams! The most pathetic gift ever!
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Haha…I love getting a nice hand cream!
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yes! especially Elizabeth Ardens 8 hour hand cream.
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A NICE one. Not crazy clarks that smells like dish washing liquid…. lol
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…especially if they’ve been regifted, or an unwanted present that they found at an op-shop! I have a relative that does this every year, they’re not poor, just tight arsed, and they always try and pass it off as new. Had some doozies over the years, with expired use by dates, retaped packaging, a bottle of wine for my husband, with a handwritten message to some person congratulating them on their retirement!! We barely bat an eyelid now, just send it off to the nearest op-shop.
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I received a regifted candle set (2 tea lights and one candle in a glass) for my secret Santa from a work colleague. Our limits $15 and she even left the $7 price label on. Awesome. -.-
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We had a secret santa years ago with a $20 limit and my colleague was given one of those Aussie fly swatters in the the shape of Australia that tourists buy from the cheap shops. Thats all he got. He was not impressed.
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Ok that one wins. I thought I’d been gypped over the years, but that one beats even the tatty picture frame from the $2 shop I got once.
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My MIL gave me the same (very expensive) hand cream for three christmases and one birthday in a row. I can’t use scented creams (can’t tell you how many times I have mentioned this to her).
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I love a good gift basket and a beautiful scented candle. The cheap perfume I can do without it, but I appreciate any gift.
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I hate cheap aftershave !
It just pongs to the high heavens. Someone gave me a bottle a few years back. Recently the bottle made contact with the bottom of the wheelie bin.
A bottle of “JOOP!” always goes down a treat with me. I’ve been wearing that one for at least twenty years, off and on. I spray it on, thickly, and feel terrific in an instant. Best of all, as the years have passed, “JOOP!” has gotten less expensive.
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I hear you. Bradley wants “JOOP”! for Christmas. not David Beckhams stinky stuff.
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Joop is in the bargain bin now! I remember buying it for my now hubby for his 18th birthday and it cost me a fortune!!
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My mum requested no hand cream/body wash packs this year. She is still using the ones my son got her for her birthday/Mother’s day/last Christmas. Haha
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LOVED this post! Especially the craft kits comment!! SO TRUE!! Freaking nightmare they are!
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I give craft kits! But only to the mums that let their kids do awful things only to be told now darling we don’t kick friends in the head do we? Lol is that mean?!
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Give me a fake pet over a real pet any day.
We’ve had hermit crabs, mice, rabbit, guinea pigs, fish and dogs.
The hermit crabs died, the mice ate each other (gross), the guinea pigs disappeared (resulted in distraught child for a year), fish died when neighbour over fed them whilst we were on hols, rabbit escaped 3 times
& I discovered I’m allergic to the dog.
In comparison, the fur real rabbit, fur real guinea pig, fur real puppy were a pleasure and extremely low maintenance and best of all you don’t have to pay someone to feed them while you are on hols.
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I know this article is lighthearted but the best thing you can do before Christmas is buy a few different sized batteries and put them in the cupboard. It makes Christmas a lot less stressful and they don’t go off so you can use them up throughout the year.
I hate those toys which require an engineering degree to get them out of the package. Impossible for kids, hard enough for parents and tantrum inducing for grandparents like myself! I am looking at you Fisher Price.
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Hehe. I just complained to my husband about the Fisher Price pram my daughter just got off her grandparents needed a degree in engineering to assemble
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Gotta say that the Fisher Price Dolls House & accessories given to my daughter by mum was one the best presents she ever got.
My daughter has outgrown but it given years of pleasure to my nieces who always request it when they come over.
I’m going to save it for future grandkids.
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Fisher Price toys are great – the packaging that holds them in the box to display nicely, not so much! Though I have noticed some are now designed so that you twist the plastic off, rather than cutting it.
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Yes!!! Hubby and I noticed that with little bubs chrissy pressies this year! Gone were the cable-ties that we grew up with, and in with these weird plastic disc twistie things, more for security than anything we thought.
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While we’re on Christmas, parents of teenagers I’m talking to you!
Its not ok for you to allow your teenagers and early 20′s children to sit at the table during Christmas lunch glued to their iphones.
I will be hosting family Christmas for the 4th year in a row next week and have decided my teenage nieces and nephews will have to hand their devices over at the door upon arrival at my home on Christmas day because I’m sick of their rudeness and their slack parents allowing them to get away with it!
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Absolutely agree! Christmas is a time for family and friends! No technology at the table!
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I completely understand where you are coming from and please don’t take this as me trying to tell you how to run your life/Christmas but I don’t think that is the best action to take. It implies that you *expect* them to do the wrong thing (and I’m sure that you have good reason to think that) and this will probably not bring out the best attitude from them. As someone in their early twenties who hates being treated like a delinquent or a child, I suggest being upfront with your nieces and nephews. Politely ask them not to use their phone, say how important Christmas is to you and how nice it is to spend it *as a family*. You might be surprised that they are willing to obey you as you have treated them as mature individuals and not just assumed that they will do the wrong thing and punished them in advance. If that doesn’t work, then take the phone. I just think you will get a better response if you don’t act like you assume that they will do the wrong thing.
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Thanks for your comments! I also have teenage children who I make leave their phones at home when we go out to someone elses house for a meal, so I know the onus really is on the parents, and they are the ones who should be instilling their children with good manners.
However, the last 2 years we have asked them to put their phones down over Christmas lunch and we have been met with whispers and eye rolling! And while they do reluctantly stop using them for a while, they keep them on their laps and sneak a look. And dont engage in any conversation at all. The kids I’m talking about have the same parents, and the other teenagers and 20 somethings in the family dont behave like this so I know its just bad manners from one lot of the family, but I do love them and am embarressed that they behave like this in public and want better for them than the way they are allowed to conduct themselves.
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If looking at their phone is the worse thing they do, then their parents are doing ok. Doesn’t mean their bad or lack manners, they just don’t live up to your high expectations. Hanging out with the family, even at Christmas just isn’t as exciting to teenagers as it is to you. Cut some slack otherwise your house is the last house they’ll ever want to come to. Just sayin’.
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Its still really rude because the message it sends is that their time socializing online or via the mobile is more important than yours.
We all know family isn’t exciting to teenagers. We were all teenagers once upon a time, but part of growing up means that sometimes you have to do shit you don’t want to. Better to learn sooner rather than later, as in when you’re working.
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Socialising and being online is more important to teenagers than anything, even going to the Christmas lunch with the fam. Knowing most families, the teenagers are usually lumped with the little kids, no wonder they want to talk to their friends.
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Late reply I know, but as you get older you’ll realise that family generally are the ones that will be there for you through thick and thin.
Also being online is NOT more important than being with people and sometimes you just gotta suck it up?
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Sorry, even teenagers need to learn sticking their face in their iphone all through Christmas lunch is just plain rude!
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But it does mean they lack manners. It really, really does.
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Great gift idea for family with kids who have a garden – a hammock.
My nieces and nephews love it and it gets teens outside. The teens are happy to lie in the hammock & listen to music or (hopefully) read a book.
Younger kids love to play in it.
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As someone who can’t stand the vast majority of their family, I’m afraid I’m guilty of this. But frankly it’s either ignore everyone and distract myself or ruin Christmas with a screaming argument about racism, homophobia and misogyny/misandry amongst other things.
I think a lot of teenagers feel left out at family celebrations. Often the adults aren’t ready or willing to treat the teens like adults and have actual conversations beyond “how’s school going” and they’re too young to hang out with the little kids all day. Maybe just try to include them.
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Don’t limit it to the teens and young adults. Get a pretty basket, put it by the door and ask that all phones go in it. Everyone is there to socialise with each other. I have heard of a woman who has a similar basket and her daughter’s friends now look for it when they arrive.
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Great idea Carz. Can also be used for the under 12s and their Nintendo DS & Ipads & their parents mobile phones.
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LOVING #10
just loving it!
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Oh puhleez!!!
Lot of people getting very precious here. This post is spot on. And no, I am not a lazy parent or an ungrateful one. Just someone who is sick and tired of the overly consumerist and easily disposable nature of our society.
My kids dont need more stuff. Especially crap stuff. So save your money and the environment and simply refrain.
Take them to the movies or out to the park or the beach.
Actually – movie gift cards are the greatest gift!
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Have you told your friends and family that? I think it’s fine to say no presents please but it’s a bit unfair to say nothing and then complain when you don’t get what you want (or get what you don’t want haha).
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I dont complain. My family are well aware of this.
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Yes Chrissy.
Go the movie gift card.
Three things will happen:
1: Gift will be received with sincere joy = happy gift-giver
2: Parents will be happy = coupla hours kid-free time/not having to re-mortgage the house just to go to the movies.
3: Child will be happy = Its christmas so thats how it should be.
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Love this & totally agree! Very previous & maybe people are so up in arms because they’re a little defensive at being guilty of purchasing some of this? Ha ha
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I enjoyed reading the hilarious original link when it went around Facebook last week (note, the author followed this up with 10 things to buy my kids for those that have been asking, someone has posted a link below to the original blog), but I’m afraid I didn’t find this article as funny. At all, really. Mainly because I am buying my own kids most of the things on this list. As well as the other kids in my family. 4 year old girls are all about those ‘fake’ dogs that walk and woof. They go mad over sparkly pipe cleaners and sequins and googly eyes. And the Post Office is a treasure trove of gift ideas. I’m not really sure how or why this article made it to the coveted Mamamia page…
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I will send this to my relos and highlight No.9.
I wont allow my daughters to dress like tarts in micro mini skirts complete with hideous fluro Hannah Montanna logos on the top and my sons wont be wearing the skull and cross bones shirts either that they get each year.
And the shiny nylon pjs are hideous and go straight to the clothing bin.
I would much prefer they gave my kids a packet of textas than the cheap tacky clothes they give them. I never buy them clothes like that so I dont understand why they think I will let them wear them!
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When buying stuff for other people’s kids I usually end up in the National (or Australian) Geographic shop.
The items are interesting, usually well made, safe and not too expensive.
Boys like compasses, stuff to take camping, torches…..
Girls can get ‘things that grow’, unusual crafts or books & T-shirts and for little kids there are really lovely Australian animal soft toys and hand-puppets………
No, I don’t work for them or know anyone who does – I just know that those kinds of shops have saved me a lot of leg work especially around Xmas.
By the way…………..every time I try to “save” this comment I see a page that tells me that it’s a duplicated comment “you’ve already said that !”
This happened to me yesterday too and my post appeared twice…….
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I LOVE this shop. It’s my go to for the men in the family, and now that the kids are getting older, for them as well (I’m really itching to get them into chemistry sets and fake volcanoes and remote-controlled doodads but have a ways to go yet…those safesof toys will have to do for now). For difficult-to-buy-for men it’s brilliant – the menfolk love gadgets that they can use to measure stuff.
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My daughter loves the National Geographic shop, we have picked up some really fun stuff. There are a variety of things and different prices. We even picked up a kite, which she loved to take to the park.
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I would love it if my kids were given lots of the toys on this list. Craft packs, games that require siblings, fake animals, no problems there. We usually have scissors handy, so the crazy packaging is no problem. If we don’t have batteries, the kids can wait. We get given a lot of stuff which I don’t like as well, because my MIL is rather, erm, obsessive about op shopping. But it’s not too difficult, just give it back to the op shop..
What I hate is being given furniture. It is much more difficult to get rid of, and if we don’t have quite the same taste (because you like ugly things..), it’s tricky to explain this tactfully.
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And here I was thinking Christmas was about the kids.
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So what can you get them?
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http://www.chicagonow.com/baby-sideburns/2012/12/what-you-should-buy-kids-holiday-sequel/
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Books, dress ups, magnifying glasses, ‘pretend’ toys (eg: cash register, cooking stuff), more books, kites, puppets, chalkboards/whiteboards, Magnadoodle, frisbee, tea sets, Crazy Forts – these toys have been much loved in our house by our now 6 year old boy. He still plays with all of them.
How about ‘experiences’ – eg: a ticket to a kids show at the theatre. Vouchers for bowling or putt putt golf also go down well.
But, NEVER, EVER buy Gelli Baff. Ever.
Unless you enjoy cleaning coloured slime off your bathroom walls, floor and child!
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“But, NEVER, EVER buy Gelli Baff. Ever.”
I had never heard of this stuff, so I googled it & now I want some. For myself.
Did I mention I’m *ahem* over 35?
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Gelli Baff is revolting and stinks to high heaven! My sister bought some for my daughters and while my girls had fun and it was relatively easy to clean up afterwards the horrid chemical smell gave me a thumping headache!
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Gelli Baff is ONLY okay in the wading pool…where you can simply let the kids run amok…and then turn the hose on them afterwards.
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Gelli Baff is fantastic.
It feels so weird, in a fun way, it doesnt stain, and the smell – well there are lots of different scents, the ones I have had arent overpowering.
I’m 28. I recieved this gift for myself and LOVED it.
Its a bit of fun.
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so you’;re intending to go to the theatre/show/whatever your bought tickets for my child to go with, with them????
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Of course. Only buy tickets to something you want to see with them!
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Oh dear, Santa got some Gelli Baff reduced for next to nothing…now i know why…and i’m scared!!’
Great list Angela. Btw for anyone scared of craft, try the Crayola Colour Wonder series. Creative but not messy and both girls and boys alike love it.
Also, my 5 year old goes ga-ga over the ‘Sticker Dolly Dressing’ series of sticker books (google them and fall in love).
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To those of you who think these articles come across as ungrateful, then by all means give the presents you were going to give to friends kids to charities instead, it’s a win – win situation. You don’t have to give anything to the people you think are demanding and ungrateful, and they don’t have to put up with the cheap and nasty tat that fills their house every christmas from people who have no idea what sort of present to buy for a kid!
Also, it is obvious when a present has had thought put into it. These lists aren’t aimed at people who chose a gift for kids with that child in mind, they are, in a light hearted manner, targeting the people who grab any old crap because they are buying a present out of obligation. And grandparents who buy toys parents will hate to get revenge on their kids!
A note on #4 – I always remove all screws/plastic tags/twist ties etc from my kids presents prior to wrapping them so that the toy is able to be played with NOW! like all kids want! I’ve been known to use a tiny piece of double sided tape to hold a toy in the package rather than leave the original, almost impossible to remove, cable ties and what-not in place!
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That is seriously clever…
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Another forehead slapping moment – brill idea re packaging. You have to be a NASA scientist to get them off!
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“A note on #4 – I always remove all screws/plastic tags/twist ties etc from my kids presents prior to wrapping them so that the toy is able to be played with NOW!”
Yep. Thats what ‘Santa’ has always done. Learnt that one after the first christmas….
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Yep, it took one xmas as a parent for me to realise that NO child will wait for you to try and hack your way into a package without going into full meltdown and everyone getting flustered!
Also, what is with toys being SCREWED into the package?!?
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Slightly off topic but we recently bought a bed for my son. We were unaware it was self assembly. Took ages for 3 adults to put it together and then we realised on the 2nd last screw that we were missing a screw. On the useless instructions there was no mention of how many screws we should have had.
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