.
A few months back I wrote a piece about the location of a missing child. In the days after the piece was published I was interviewed on the radio about my thoughts and the question that came up was whether or not our kids are safe. I was asked about whether or not the idea of a person prowling the streets in a white van was a legitimate fear. I was a bit stumped by the question and after reading and thinking and researching the question my simple answer is I don’t know.
The idea of a white van prowling the streets has long been an image that parents, school kids and the media have perpetuated. We hear the conflicting messages about childhood obesity and children needing to be physical and then we receive circulars home from school warning us about attempted abductions in the local area. It makes it difficult to let our kids roam free.
A research study by Deakin university found that one of the top four reasons why we don’t use our local amenities is a fear of strangers – our fear of allowing our children to move about in our local area affects not only the well worn path between home and school but our attempts to let our kids play in our local area.
The data around attempted abductions is a little difficult to capture – some attempts might not be reported, some kids might not tell parents or maybe they are captured under different sub categories. Its difficult to confirm whether or not the white van actually exists. Most recent figures from the Australian Institute of Criminology state that just over 750 abductions occurred during one calendar year and that just over half were by a stranger. Children made up less than 20% of the cases.
My daughter’s school recently sent home that warning. We tread a difficult line as parents of wanting to up skill our kids with the right tools so that if the situation arises they know what to do but you also don’t want to scare the bejeezus out of them.
The Local Police suggest that if a child is concerned about the behavior of a stranger they should yell ‘GO AWAY, I DON’T KNOW YOU’ to alert the attention of passers by. I guess it’s a way of telling people that the kid is not simply arguing with a person they know.
I practiced this with my six year old who thought I was joking for the first 5 minutes but then once she realised that I was suggesting this actually happens her little eyes welled up and she kept asking why someone would do that to a child. We finally (after some significant anxiety, stress and chocolate) managed to get to a place where we could practice the yell and then the usual ‘what’s the number for the police’ dance but I walked away just not entirely sure that I had skilled her up?
The image of the white van circling our streets isn’t a myth but it isn’t an everyday occurrence either. The balancing act that parents, carers and educators have to manage is the need to inform versus the need to not trigger anxiety. Our kids need to have a balanced idea of what to do when something they don’t expect happens but the skill of being able to assess the scene isn’t something that most kids know how to do when they are little (or even when they get big!)
I guess all I can do is make sure my kids can yell really loud, that they feel confident in telling me when something happens and that the community is a safe place, most of the time. Other than that I’m not quite sure what else we can do?
Sarah Wayland has been working as a social worker in the missing persons field since 2003. She is a mum of two and is currently completing postgraduate studies in the field of hope and loss at the University of New England. Visit Sarah’s blog here.
How do you handle stranger danger with your kids?
Comments
79 Comments so far
There are definitely weirdos and predators out there and the statistics “that every parent should know” don’t in anyway reflect the reality of how many “incidents” there are that don’t involve abduction. I’d be interested in some statistics that are actually useful, like how many predators are now turning to the internet to stalk their victims. I’d be willing to bet, the number of abductions, assaults and rapes committed by perverts that have hunted their young teenage prey online is alarming on the rise. This is where the focus for education needs to be.
loading...
2 of my kids, 9yog and 6yob, have starting walking home 1 afternoon a week to me at home. The confidence it has given them is huge. If is a 1km walk, involves 4 road crossings, 2 at ped crossings, 1 at lights. I encourage others making this leap of faith and lengthening the “leash” just that little bit. I acknowledge the “white can” with them, but also acknowledge the skills they are learning and putting into pratice.
loading...
I think it’s always going to be hard to talk to kids about things which are important for them to know, on some level, but which are unlikely to happen to them, or even unlikely to happen to anyone they know. I think the piece raises the difficulty of this for a parent.
loading...
I had a guy in a car pull over and talk to me when I was a kid, he was playing with himself and asked me if I wanted to suck his dick.
I legged it home to Mum, who called a friend’s husband who was a copper. He didn’t tell Mum to never let us out of her sight again or anything like that. He said the best thing to do was to take down the numberplate with anything close to hand – a stick in the dirt, anything. Then call the cops and report it.
You could take a photo with a mobile, enter the number plate in a text, or as a phone number, use lippy, anything that you’ll be able to follow what it is. Even if it’s part of it, when you pair it up with a description of the car, it will help.
loading...
Interesting you should write this, Kris. I was talking to an old school friend about this yesterday. When we were in school there was regularly a pervy flasher near the train station. Our parents and teachers told us what to do but there was no panic, more a ‘Keep away from the dirty sod’ and tell the station master next time you see him. There was no question of not letting us catch the train.
loading...
I think that’s a huge difference, you know. We were taught how to deal and what to do, rather than having the threat seemingly removed.
loading...
Kate me too- he used to drive / walk past the year 10 area all the time. I also had a guy sitting at a bus stop with a shoe box on his lap. He asked me if I wanted to see his kitten he had in the shoe box- when he took the lid off and cut a hole in the box to stick his penis through. Ergh. I never told my parents about it : -/
loading...
I had a guy chase me halfway to school when I was late once and the street was pretty much deserted. None of the safe houses looked occupied, so I just ran as fast as I could. I was about 10. Disappointingly the school didn’t do much, nor did my mum. I had nightmares about it for weeks afterwards.
loading...
What are you referencing? For such a fear-mongering article it is poor writing to not reference the exact publication.
I am familiar with the Institute’s website. Nowhere could I find clear statistics on exactly how many children are the victims of stranger abduction. Your statistics are not clear – 750+ abductions, half by a stranger, less than 20% are children. But of that 20% how many were strangers is what matters and this not clear. Your article could read that half of those children are stranger abductions. 75 children a year are not abducted by strangers in this country.
The majority of abductions are child custody, followed by another family member or acquaintance.
Teaching a child about stranger danger is important by all means and for sure mention abduction. But it should be the smallest of your focus. Stranger child abduction out of the blue is one of the rarest of crimes. A handful a year in the whole country, if that. What stranger danger lessons should be about is grooming – that nice man inviting you in to his house for lollies? Tell mum first. Strangers who want to harm your child are not about to risk it all and run off with them. They are more likely to befriend your child than steal them.
The use of alarming and poorly presented statistics in an article that could scare parents is really poor. The dangers that present to your children are far more complex than the proverbial ‘man with a white van’ who may snatch, at best maybe a small handful of children a year (dreadful, but please have perspective in terms of the attention given to the issue). Unless there are cases not getting press the only missing child in Victoria feared taken by a stranger in recent times at the moment is Bung, and she is a teenager which again is a slightly different kettle of fish to the small child being taken people seem to be worried about. Hardly the avalanche of cases. Meanwhile thousands, if not more, are abused in other ways that get nowhere near the prevention attention.
loading...
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-05-16/man-in-white-van-an-urban-myth/1685570
loading...
Thanks for the link…
I’m middle aged and the concept of men in white vans trying to abduct children has been around as long as I can remember. As a child living in a small country town my mother warned me off people who drove white vans because they’ll try and take me away.
loading...
Unfortunately the man in the f*cking white van does exist. Our experience is : my 12yo walking home, notices white van travelling slowly behind her, it pulls over on a steep street, man gets out and follows her – thankfully she runs home, distressed but safe. Later when she was being interviewed by police I asked if they were aware of other recent incidents as I had heard of two. They said none recently. I then sent an email to friends to inform them and to ask kids to be a little more aware of their surroundings. Was then informed that two other incidents had occurred but unfortunately the police had not been told. It was interesting to note that the white van/driver was different in each case. There was another case shortly after of an attempt, in a friend’s street, to pull a boy into another freaking white van.
I’m not telling this story to put the fear of whatever into you, just to alert you to the fact that it’s not an urban myth and it does happen in quiet relatively crime free suburbs. Funnily, I think this was ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED. Yes, my girl was crying hysterically when she got home but she composed herself by the time the police arrived. She didn’t walk home for the remaining 3 weeks of school but resumed walking at the start of this year. She now knows that things can happen to scare you but you can move on and overcome the fear. We’re now more aware but don’t live in fear.
loading...
I really like your last sentences there, ToB. Great she’s moved on from it, and you have too.
loading...
I actually saw an Oprah episode when i was studying teaching about 10 years ago, and it pointed out that instead of teaching children about “stranger danger” we should be encouraging children to use their gut instincts and actually practice talking to appropriate “strangers” such as shop keepers, mums with kids, people who they just felt okay to ask the time etc. This was beacuse more often than not, if our kids are in danger they will probably need help from a stranger! And also many children are assaulted by familiar people.
Also, explaining to a child that if a stranger/ someone who is making them feel unsafe tells them to keep quiet and not make a sound, that is the best time to scream and yell as someone may in fact be close by to help.
Schools and parents should be teaching protective behaviours (just like many of the parents have mentioned below) every year.
I know it may seem a little over the top to some people, but if this can save one child (or even adult!) from an abduction/ abuse, its worth it.
loading...
I read a great article recently following the abduction and murder of a little boy in Brooklyn earlier this year. It was written from the viewpoint of how this will now create another wave of parents not letting their children walk home from school and helicopter parenting. It was well written in pointing out that children need to be taught to follow their instinct and that strangers are not all bad. If you feel you are in danger or trouble look for an adult as 99.9% of the time you will be in safe hands. I wish I could remember the article better and where I read it. It had a massive impact on how I will teach my children.
loading...
I saw on Oprah once (back when I was spending endless hours breastfeeding) an experiment they did with the children of parents who were sure they’d instilled the stranger danger message in their kids. They put the (unsuspecting) children in various situations and filmed with hidden cameras. There children were young, ranging from about 5 up to 12. In one situation they got the mother to leave a 7 year old in a food court while they ran into a shop. They then had an actor (male) approach the child and start small talk, and then told them that they had a puppy in their car and would the child like to see it. Another situation was 2 children playing on their front lawn and a man coming along in a car holding out a sign with a picture of his supposedly lost dog on it. He asked the children to come over to the car and look at the photo. There were other similar scenarios, but the scary thing was that in all but one case the child either agreed to go with the stranger or got close enough to the car to be grabbed. The parents were extremely upset and shocked as they were sure their children wouldn’t be tricked like that.
It’s hard because you tell your children that it is important to help people in trouble, and this is exactly what these pretend predators did on Oprah.
I don’t know how to handle it with my children and it scares the heck out of me.
loading...
Well, out of curiosity I have been checking the police media alerts and weekly there is a child abduction report pretty much always with a white van. People are told this is not an issue. C’mon wake up people! It is really happening!
loading...
I would be interested to know if this was ‘reported’ to police or proven as actually having occurred. There have been a few stories in the press lately about children making up abduction stories. They seem to catch on – a real attempt is made, or it’s in the news, kids see it and then make up a story. .
loading...
Just looking through the few comments here the same story is being “reported” in Brisbane, Sydney’s northern beaches, other undisclosed places.
Vans are white. Unless they’re Australia Post, I can’t really think of any other coloured vans, unless they’re painted in company colours. I’d say that’s why they’re largely white – so logos etc can easily be added. NOT so dodgy characters have a uniform vehicle to go around abducting kids with.
loading...
Yes it is important to instill caution into our kids about strangers. Dont get me started on why its ok to put screaming kids on santas knee when we push ‘stranger danger’! However, it is still more likely that a child may be harmed by a family member/friend. I intend to teach my two bubs about being ‘safe’ in any environment, there are no ‘good secrets’ etc and help them thru that. As I want this to apply in any situation-be it a stranger or, god forbid, someone I trust.
loading...
My boys aged 4 and 6 just watched last week the DVD by bravehearts and I strong recommend it. It was easy to watch and they remembered all the tips but in no way was it scary
loading...
Thanks, Natalie! Will get my hands on a copy.
loading...
‘Child abductions stats every parents should know’.
Oh brother, this site is starting to remind me of the parody current affairs show Frontline.
Seriously guys, you’re really losing some of your regulars with this nonsense. Why change the title so many times to be that little bit more sensational every time Mia? It’s really transparent.
loading...
Yep, very Today Tonight.
loading...
I struggle with this every single day. My mother tried really hard to instill Stranger Danger in us as children… she succeeded a little too well, to the point where I couldn’t sleep at night as I thoroughly believed it was only a matter of time before a murderer would climb through my window. It really affected me, because I really did lose sleep – every single night. I was anxious, and to this day, I have real panicky moments. I continually fight a mind battle to not allow myself to always go to “worst case scenario” land. I have a 6-yr-old myself and I will NOT do this to him. I refuse to have him grow up scared the way I did. However, abduction is a real fear and I need to make sure he is an aware person. A few years back I interviewed Denise and Bruce Morcombe for a magazine I was working on when they had just put out their child safety awareness dvd. It’s a great resource and shares a great way to make sure your kids follow their instincts (in a bit of an Oprah way – remove yourself from a situation if you feel uneasy), and to not be polite in situations where you think something’s not right (yes, yell instead), and to just generally be mindful of what’s going on around them. I talk to my son about it, but I always reiterate that he is safe in our home, and he is always safe when he is with me or his dad.
loading...
So relevant to me right now as my child reaches the age where he is fighting for independence. All he wants to do is walk to the shops.
My friend told me that someone in a nearby street was almost abducted and I shouldn’t let him out. I panicked and phoned the police to check out the street safety. There had indeed been an attempted abduction – only it was a custody battle.
I really really don;t want my child to grow up with fear or between 4 walls. I will do everything in my power to protect him but I don’t want to stop him being a boy.
He is allowed to walk the block and a half to the shop
loading...
My ‘kid” is now in his thirty’s , but does any one remember the show Monkey? I sat down with my very intelligent ( I thought so!!!) 4 year old, he had never left the yard before but I was concerned that he had worked out how to escape (he had been so thrilled to show me ) that I decided to talk about what to do with a stranger who offers etc
The next day he went missing, I was frantic, only to find him walking up and down the footpath with his monkey stick, dressed as Monkey waiting to beat up anyone who tried to abduct him. Needless to say we had to have another talk.
He still gets paid off about this now that he has children of his own.
loading...
Monkey Magic!
loading...
Living in Asia Caucasian kids are viewed with much interest and it is not unusual for people to reach into prams to touch the baby’s face. People will touch the kids faces whether they are walking beside you or they are being held in your arms. They will even try and take your child out of your arms so they can take talk to the baby, look at them closely and take photos.
All of this makes shopping interesting, annoying and frustrating particularly for the kids as they get older. I was pretty casual about it all, politely declining offers of others to hold my child, etc. It wasn’t until Miss J was walking behind me in a supermarket (she was 3) when I turned to check on her and a saw a man talking to her then bend down and kiss her on the cheek.
I felt so sick. I had to leave the mall straight away and even though I kept turning every two seconds to check on her – she was very independently walking, in the end I had to scoop her up and carry her all the way home. told her then she should yell: “Don’t touch me” whenever anyone touched her.
The first time Miss J yelled it out I actually felt sorry for the older lady who patted her head but after looking at how embarrassed the lady was and how fast she removed herself from my child, I was very glad that the shouting was so effective.
loading...
Sorry, not meaning to be snarky, but why were you so upset about a kiss on the cheek? Would it be ok if someone she knew eg grandpa did? I can understand that it is weird for a stranger to do it, but do you think he was a threat, or just responding to a child in what would be seen in his culture as an appropriate way?
loading...
He wasn’t Asian, but European. I could have mentioned that I suppose, but I don’t think it’s relevant. I wouldn’t kiss anyone else’s child unless the parent was present and said it was ok, let alone a child I don’t know.
There is also the added threat here of child abductions which are not uncommon. I guess that added to my sense of violation.
loading...
I’m not a parent, yet, but I think kissing a kid that you don’t know is completely over the line. Even as an adult if a man I didn’t know walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek I’d freak out!
loading...
A lady at the supermarket actually did this with KDot the other day – she was sitting in the seat bit of the trolley being all proud of herself, and this older lady was looking at her and saying how cute she was, then went in for a kiss on the cheek. KDot let her (and the fresh section at Woolies) know here comfort level!
It’s true though what InKL says about caucasian kids – we grew up going to Malaysia and I had white curls. People used to touch my hair and take photos with me all the time. Completely normal over there.
loading...
Yep, similar experience here. When we first moved here, Abi was a cherubic 2 1/2 year old with blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin and chubby! People were constantly touching her. Her confidence has soared!
But the worry about my girls going with anybody remains. We are starting the “circle of friends” with them. Basically you draw concentric circles and in the middle are mum, dad, siblings, grandparents etc. Next circle might have aunts, uncles, cousins, next is friends and teachers, then shop assistants etc. Each circle has a different set of “rules” as far as touching, kissing etc goes.
loading...
Circle of friends sounds like a wonderful idea. Might look into that.
loading...
I know how you feel, I was recently in Malaysia (only the airport) and had numerous people trying to take photos and pick up my kids.. They were so scared, firstly being in a different country and secondly strangers touching them.
loading...
Are you in Brisbane Sarah? The ‘white van’ story is still swirling around our ‘hood. A couple of months all parents at my kids’ school were alerted by email. It was noted that no actual abduction attempt has been made but the driver was acting ‘suspiciously’. The kids are still talking about it. It’s all about ‘the white van.’ The problem is both bigger and smaller than it seems – but panic and fear in the community helps no one. I tell my kids never go with anyone they don’t know. I would never authorise a stranger to collect them. But if someone says hi, they should say hi. The overwhelming odds are that person is just being friendly.
loading...
Hi Kate…no Im based in Sydney but the same story is circling here too…its hard to not be over cautious but then having worked in the missing persons sector for a long time it does happen to a very small minority of people who always said that they thought it wouldnt happen to them.
I think that child safety campaigns that reinforce teaching kids to be aware of when they feel unsafe is the most important first step.
loading...
It’s extremely unlikely that my child will ever be abducted. That’s why I’ve let them go up to the shops, walk the dog etc since they were 10. I gave them the talk, that adults should never ask children for help, and if they do to just say I don’t know then go into the nearest shop. I want my children to feel free and safe in their community and not be frightened of people in general. I hope to think I’ve acheived that.
loading...
I would love my 5yo to grow up as I did – playing with friends in the street and walking to primary school. Now there are no kids playing in the street, and no kids walking to school. On his first school excursion he was approached by a stranger with a doll and if a parent hadn’t seen the guy off God knows what would have happened. We’ve now had a good stranger-danger talk, read books, etc but even after all that he’s still a very innocent, trusting child, and I don’t want to scare that out of him completely. So will I have my eyes on him at all times, at least for the next few years? You betcha. Is it right or wrong? Mnneh, don’t care.
loading...
Instead of child abductions (again), a better topic would be teenage and young adult suicide. That would benefit both the parents and young adults who read this site.
loading...
So many good topics for us Idle Dad, we’re lucky.
You might be interested in this one http://www.mamamia.com.au/health-wellbeing/teen-depression-what-you-need-to-know/
loading...
Why does it have to be one or the other? Both relevant topics.
loading...
Child abduction scares have been done to death. Just look at the title changes of this article from “Should we worry about the white van?” to the more alarming “Child abduction stats every parent should know”
Dunno. Probably this is just my pet hate.
loading...
The title thing to sensationalise and then tweet about the reactions is really being overdone by MM, getting very tiresome.
loading...
I posted a couple of weeks ago that my child was subjected to an abduction attempt . The car was a white i30. There were 4 over a period of 10 days in Hobart and each car was different. No white van, so just goes to show it could be anyone.
loading...
Child abductions and terrorism are the two biggest things people freak out, but hardly ever happen. The vast majority of kidnappings are adults abducting adults (as you state), not kids. The majority of child abductions are in-family.
Want to make your child safe? Buckle them up, teach them how to swim, have a fire plan and put the poisons up high. You’ve just eliminated 80+% of accidental child deaths.
Want to avoid child abductions? Don’t have a kid with an arsehole.
loading...
Ha ha, spot on (about having kids with an arsehole)
loading...
“they might hardly ever happen” but when they do happen, the consequences are too frightening to even think about. What’s wrong with taking all reasonable precaution you can to prevent awful things potentially happening to our precious children.
loading...
But then what’s reasonable precaution? Telling your kids that everyone who they don’t know is a potential threat?
loading...
Maybe. I call reasonable precaution using common sense and still living a life but with care and without unnecessary risk taking. I certainly wouldn’t allow my 8 year old daughter to play in a park by herself – i think it was on this site that I read someone saying that that is what they allow.
loading...
Safety in numbers is a great thing to go by. We live near a linear park along a river. My daughter is now allowed to go out for neighbourhood walks with a friend, to walk alone just one street to neightbours we know (and know are home). But not to spend a whole day out roaming the neighbourhood alone as we used to. Easy access. And abduction might be the worst thing, but even when she’s been with me we’ve been flashed, yelled out in a gross way, encountered very drunk young men in the middle of the day, or couples or groups of young men. I just don’t think that’s safe and don’t think she could handle possible eventualities herself. And we live in a pretty nice neighbourhood, but the river is easy access and with hiding spots galore. And, at 10, it’s still hard for her to be rude to an adult stranger, so I think this puts her at risk of staying too long, even if she feels uncomfortable.
Police officers I know become extremely serious when they talk about being wary of letting kids go places alone in public. And it’s not campaign-based, it’s based on the number of times they intervene in situations that are clearly wrong, even if not out-and-out abductions. And, yes, involving strangers. There’s the number of abductions, and then there’s gross approaches, flashing, groping etc. That separate police officers in their private time say the same thing, say be careful at big events like the royal show, and say that the slightly weird guy sitting alone at the playground definitely IS someone to be wary of – this makes me take it seriously.
We don’t have to wrap our kids in cotton wool. Kids should travel in packs, as they always have done. That keeps them safe.
loading...
How can they travel in packs when no-one’s allowed out though?
loading...
I think the message I take is that just because we don’t think kids should be cooped up, doesn’t mean that the other extreme of wandering around alone is safe. Children in the past didn’t wander alone. That’s partly why they were, mostly, OK.
Today, we live in a bigger society. More people. More anonymous. Easier to get to neighbourhoods in which you are not recognised and from where you have a good chance to not be found. That makes children being out without adults less safe – and it does depend on what area you are in. But if they are together, they are safer. And it’s not the case that no-one’s allowed out. In my circles, children at around 10 are allowed to go out walking with friends near home, or up to the local shops. Just not usually allowed to wander around alone.
loading...
How is telling a kid that all strangers are threats reasonable? You’re a stranger to most people. Are you a threat? I’m not. Most people aren’t.
loading...
I don’t tell my children that “all strangers are threats”. I tell them that some people are threats and we don’t know who these people are so be careful. The risk of abduction etc might be small but it does happen and I don’t want to ever be one of those people who says “I never thought it would happen to me”.
loading...
No-one wants to be that person, of course they don’t.
I was actually thinking about a Free Range Parents email that came through the other day when I wrote that, so a bit unclear, probably. A Mum had her kid’s mate over playing, and then remembered she had to go to the doctor for some treatment, so she bundled the kids into the car and said “Either I can drop you home or you can come along to the doc, I’ll be in with the doc and you guys can have the Ipad and play on that while I’m busy”. The kid totally freaked out because his Mum had so drummed into him the fear of abduction, and then when she dropped him home she said “Oh, I’d never leave him alone like that”. There’s fair precaution, there’s over-protective and there’s just ridiculously over the top and silly.
loading...
“Want to avoid child abductions? Don’t have a kid with an arsehole”…
Not funny just crass, on a number of levels.
loading...
750 being abducted in one calendar year? When was this? This averages about two abductions per day in Australia, I’m pretty sure I don’t hear about two abductions on the news every day. Yes there are weirdos out there but seriously your kids have more chance being killed or injured in the car every day. I’m not saying we shouldn’t teach them to be wary of danger but I think we are all getting a bit too hyped up about it all. The very, very vast majority of the population are not sickos
loading...
I think I read 750 total a year – half of them stranger abductions, and 20% of that kids… so a lot lot less than 750 kids a year….
loading...
750 abductions, 20% of which were children. So that’s 150 year. And don’t forget, most children are abducted by people they know – usually not the primary carer in a separated family.
loading...
We teach kids what to do in the situation not what not to do…talk, role play and give practical ideas of skills they can use to remove themselves from danger and yes trust your gut instinct…ie some times a stranger who wants to hurt you will say this or do that…they may look very nice and say they know mum or dad etc – these are all tricks to get you and hurt you.Now my kids are older I tell them exactly what could happen if they are abducted so they maximise their chance of escape. I don;t make a big deal but like all issues talk about them regularly to keep them aware and safe. Same for child abuse, sexual abuse, bulliyng etc.
loading...
We were warned by police of a white van that was driving around the schools in our area and hanging around local parks and playgrounds. There had been a report of the driver trying to entice a child into his van with the offer of lollies. Thankfully the child refused and ran away. The parents in our community have been on edge ever since and the children are understandably scared.
While of course it would be nice to think that our children can walk to the park by themselves and play with their friends to then return safely home again – in reality it’s never been 100% safe for them to do this. Not when I was a kid and not now. I haven’t taken much notice of the stats but even if there hadn’t been a threat in our community I still wouldn’t let my children go out on their own like that. I mean it’s illegal to leave them home alone so why would you let them out in public alone?
Taking them to the park, getting them involved in sports, performing arts, spending lots of time at the beach/by the water in the summer and inspiring them by being active yourself must surely go a long way towards preventing obesity. Does it really make a difference if they need to be supervised? Interesting research though.
As sad as it is, I think the simple answer to this is to always have an adult with them until that ‘magic age’ (whatever that is – someone please tell me?) when they’re ready to defend themselves or are mature enough to keep themselves out of danger.
I agree though – that fine line between preparing them and scaring them is very fine and I’m yet to figure out the right way to deal with it.
loading...
Was this in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne? Just wondering if it is the same attempts that I heard about.
loading...
No Sarah, in Sydney’s Northern Beaches but it would seem that these dodgy characters choose a white van for some reason wherever they are! Maybe they think it’s a more common colour so stands out less?
loading...
Maybe it’s because vans are generally white? Have a look at vans on the street when you’re out and about. Pretty sure there isn’t a deviate’s van shop that sells white vans just for deviates!
loading...
The percentage of stranger abductions has not increased. The number has increased but so has the population. And yes, the media LOVES stories like this because fear generates ratings (how else would such fine journalistic viewing like Today Tonight or ACA exist otherwise?)
A child is far more likely to be harmed or abducted by a member of their family than by a stranger in a white (or coloured) van.
Teach your child to trust their butterflies in their tummies – they are never wrong and you should be fine.
loading...
True Chrissy…the butterflies and the uncomfortableness are some of the best ways to remind your kids that something isnt right!
loading...
We have a family friend who is a former judge. He wrote an excellent book on the Australian legal system (“The Quest for Justice” by Ken Crispin if anyone is interested). In it he talks about the perception that we have of crime rates, particularly violent crime, rapidly rising when the rates are generally falling. A lot of it is to do with the media and that such events make good news stories, therefore get lots of air time.
There are real risks in our society, but as Sarah says, we have to tread a fine line between keeping ourselves safe and living a real life. The chances of something happening are small, but they are there.
I think it is really important to talk about these issues with your kids (and I should note that I don’t have kids) but also to learn some self defence. Then continue to live your life. Don’t let the fear of maybe stop you having certainty.
loading...
Oh gosh, my husband drives a white van – he needed a van for sporting equipment and I always told him I prefer white cars because they’re not as hot in summer. I’d hate people to treat him with suspicion because of that!
loading...
I think the image of the ‘white van’ is just an image that just captures our fear of the unknown rather than a sense that all white van drivers are to be scared of. Its a difficult thing when images attract negative associations!
loading...
My twelve year old is suspicious of all vans – including red ones with POST written on them and I’m pretty sure the postie isn’t out abducting children!
Her school had to call a special assembly when there were tradesmen (who arrived in vans) working at the school asking the kids not to harass them – they were meant to be there – so it isn’t just her over reacting but clearly a lot of kids.
loading...
I’m wary of vans since I read most serial killers drive vans. I watch waaay too much criminal minds to not be scared of vans.
loading...
It’s not just white vans. Recently in my local area recently, a man driving a black commodore tried to entice a girl into his car but she ran away. Makes me wonder why he hasn’t been caught because the car had a distinguishing rear window sticker and yellow stripes on the sides. I think you can’t be too careful – I don’t want my child to become a statistic. This topic reminds me of that New Yorker who let her pre-teen son ride the subway home alone. Eeek!
loading...
I think you can be too careful – or rather, too fear-ful. Children should nto be brought up to be suspicous of everyone and live in fear – a happy medium is needed
loading...
I caught the train and bus to and from school when I was 10. What’s the difference between that and the awesome Lenore Skenazy letting her son do the same?
loading...
Each to there own, but I believe you can be protective without passing on your fears to your kids. I rode my bike 5 km to school from the age of five and fortunately no-one stopped to talk to me either.
loading...
I used to also, I guess it was a bit different 20-30 years ago
loading...
Why? What is so different?
loading...