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The thought of going out for Mother’s Day lunch with my entire family and all seven children makes me want to blow my brains out.
I know I’m being dramatic, but I can’t think of a more unpleasant day than chasing after my three children who tend to run in three different directions. My sisters can’t help because they have children of their own and if I’m lucky, I’ll get to eat a bite or two of my expensive lunch and if God is on my side, I might even be blessed with a hurried sip of my now-cold cappuccino before one of my children (usually my four-year-old) decides to climb up on a table and jump into the fountain (picture me running towards him in slow motion yelling ‘Noooooooo’ and catching him by his jumper just in time).
Do I have to spend Mother’s Day with my children? I’m with them every day. I think Mother’s Day should be a reward for what I’ve been through all year. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. They are very funny and very cute but they are kids and when I’m there, I’m the one who has to tend to their every need. The only way for me to get a real break (and I think I should get this one day a year) is to have breakfast with them and then after breakfast get a day out with some adults and linger over lunch or a movie. I will try very hard not to take off in the car too fast just in case the squeal of my tyres reveals my excitement at a day or night off!
Breakfast in bed isn’t pleasant. It’s horrible. My husband actually ruins toast. He toasts the bread okay but for some reason seems to think he needs to grind the butter in, reducing the bread to a flattened mess. I’m fussy about my coffee – he doesn’t have a hope of getting that right. And then the kids jump in and join me, making sure to spread crumbs and jam all over my sheets which gives me one more thing to do that day (wash the sheets, change the sheets or lie down on a crumby, sticky bed and night crying because I am too tired to wash/change the sheets).
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I work most weekends and I have resorted to a white lie to rescue my Mother’s Day for myself this year. My mum rang to enquire excitedly about our lunch destination for Mother’s Day and I said I couldn’t get the day off work as we are currently short of staff (despicable liar!). I suggested they all go ahead without me and I’ll pop in to see her after work.
I hung the phone up on her disappointment. My mum loves the chaos of family events. She knows she only has to help with the kids if she chooses to and she gets to go home to a clean and quiet home (her reward for raising four children with no help and less convenience products than we enjoy now).
I started thinking, why not start a new tradition this year? I’ll be the bad one and suggest that my mum, sisters, brother and I go out without any kids and see a movie together. I seriously can’t remember when I last saw a grownup movie. Don’t get me wrong, Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 was excellent, but really!
I logged onto the cinema website and found a Gold Class session of The Five-Year Engagement with Devonshire Tea for an extra five dollars. Hell-to-the-yeah! I felt my determination set in. I was going to make sure this happened if it killed me.
Everyone was surprisingly cooperative (ha, they don’t enjoy our Mother’s Day lunch incidents either!). I’ll take the kids out for breakfast and then go to work. After work I’ll spend some time cuddling and kissing the kids and I’ll do my best not to check the time on my watch every five seconds. As soon as the clock strikes 6.45pm I will say my goodbyes (lots of tears but not from me) and race out of the driveway singing and laughing at the sheer enjoyment of my brief escape.
I will stuff my face with scones, jam and cream. Everyone there will be able to put jam and cream on their own scones and nobody will steal my sugar or dirty my popcorn. I’ll watch the movie uninterrupted with no need to take anyone to the toilet (we have all been toilet trained for a while). And the best part of the night will be coming home happy and relaxed and kissing my angelic, sleeping children on the cheek before slipping quietly into bed and dreaming of my next Mother’s Day night out.
Jo Abi is the author of the book How to Date a Dad: a dating guide released by Hachette Livre Australia. You can read more about her many and various exploits here and follow her on Twitter here.
What are you doing for Mother’s Day? Seeing your Mum? Hanging with your kids? Do you have any traditions?
Comments
110 Comments so far
I hate to say it and i know im going to cop a blasting from people on here but i found this article overly dramatic and whiny. I’m guessing this was supposed to be a tongue in cheek post but I still found it to be dripping in negativity.
I don’t have children of my own yet so of course cannot understand just how exhausting it is taking care of 1 let alone 3 – but all you seem to do is complain!!!
A good friend lost her mum unexpectedly two weeks ago and so had to get through mothers day without her, and a colleague has just miscarried her third child after recieving the 3 month all clear.
I think sometimes its better to be grateful for what we do have. In comparison to those who dont have the fortune to have children or who no longer have a mother to call on mothers day – your problems regarding your children and your husbands inability to cook toast seem very minor.
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I was offered a “special breakfast” but with the kids’ sport in the morning and all the extended family coming to our place for lunch, the thing I really wanted was a chance to get away on my own and do some exercise.
Cuddles in bed opening the homemade gifts was the best part. Then the rest of the day was the usual diabolical Sunday.
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You are awesome Jo! I seriously thought I was the only mother in the world who feels like this about Mothers Day! It’s good to know I’m not alone in my fantasies about escaping from my kids instead of spending the whole day with them
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Are you reading my mind??? You know my secret shame!!!! Great article, thank you
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Oh just the laugh I needed! Thanks Jo. I totally agree with you. I laughed so hard about the breakfast in bed.
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If possible try and do both. Spend the morning with your kids, appreciate the little gifts they have made or bought at the mothers day stall at school. In the afternoon have time to yourself doing what you will enjoy.
My mothers day morning will be spent with my two kids and their dad we are going to bike ride down to the beach and have breakfast, In the afternoon my sister and I are taking our mum out to lunch and movies.Just the three of us. WIN WIN I say.
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Thanks Jo, great article!!! I just loved it because that is EXACTLY how I feel!! That is my perfect idea of mothers day!!! Keep up the honesty because it is so refreshing!
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I have always loved the painstakingly hand-made presents all of my children have ever made for, and excitedly hidden from me.
When such interesting gifts are given to me, with their grins like a cheshire cat, nothing else in the world matters. It is awesome.
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I have three grown up children and I loved a bit of Mothers’ Day to myself if husband took them to beach or park for a few hours. Mainly we spent it with my Mum. Mum died last year in March so Mothers’ Day was not really noticed or acted upon. But, one year when my now 32 year old daughter was at Rushcutter’s Bay preschool (aged 3) every mother received the following on a piece of hessian. I am dong this for my stepson’s daughter ( my grandchild as far as everyone is concerned, she lives next door and loves me heaps as do I).
They placed their hands in paint and put them on the hessian and had these little printed cards under them saying: (get the tissues)
Here are my hands so very small
For you to hang upon the wall
For you to watch as years go by
How we do grow, my hands and I
They were presented at a preschool concert and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. I still have mine.
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I mean I love her heaps too, not me
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I did that exact same poem when I was at preschool, mum still has it hanging on her wall, 26 years later!
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It a day to appreciate all mothers and realise what a gift and blessing it is to be one…having generations of mums together is pretty special…take photos and laugh and enjoy it (chaos) as life it is short and saying I love you mum and Im thankful your mine is not a chance everyone gets!
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Mothers Day is not about you. It’s a day for little people to express their love for their mum. Little children love to love their mum and we should let them do that, with grace. You can think of things you would like that they can do, read to you, or tell a story, brush your hair, rub your back or hands, pick flowers from the garden and so on.
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Umm, mother’s day is EXACTLY about her. It’s a day for mother’s to be pampered and spoilt. I think the author is very in her right to spend the day doing something that SHE wants, without putting her children’s wishes first.
Gee, let me guess…. you don’t have children? I know what i’d prefer.
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I do have children and my most tender memories of them are of the lovely times we spent together on Mothers Day and all the trouble they went to for me and watching their happy little faces as they did so much to make Mother’s Day very lovely. In the past now as one of my daughters suffers most egregiously on Mothers Day now, her baby having died. It is wrenching when I think of the all joy I had had and all she has is heartache.
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Mother’s day is a nightmare for me. I’m not able to have children and Mother’s day is a reminder that not matter how much I want to be, I will not be a Mum.
I’m being selfish this year and avoiding my mum and mother-inlaw. My husband is recovering from cancer treatment and I am particularly feeling the pain of not being able to have his child.
Next year I will get back into celebrating Monther’s Day for my Mum and Mother-inlaw, but this year I hope they forgive me for being selfish.
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Sorry to hear the day will be so hard for you. I hope your drema of becomming a mother happens very soon.
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Thank you for being so kind
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I’m so sorry to hear of your pain in not being a Mum and I know this day can be quite difficult for some. Mother’s Day to me is about my kids being reminded of how ‘wonderful’ I am
and them being able to show me in simple ways that they know this and appreciate me. I accept any way this transpires and part of their ‘gift’ to me, is giving me some special ‘Mum alone time’, so I suppose a movie in the afternoon sounds like a great idea!
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Thank you for being kind. I agree that Mother’s Day is for us kids to be reminded of how wonderful our Mother’s are. Myself, well I don’t know why my Mum has ever spoken to me, as I was over 10 pounds born and a natural birth. I guess that’s why I hope she forgives me for being selfish.
I am also in debt and thankful to my big brother for having my Mum to his home for dinner. And to all my siblings for giving me the best set of nieces and nephews an Aunt could hope for. I do know I am fortunate, but just for this year, I can’t seem to overcome the sadness.
I honestly hope that all Mum’s have a wonderful day, however they and their children choose to spend it.
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I have discovered that Mothers Day is all about the children, they adore giving the gifts and cards and proudly showing off their home made pieces. I just couldn’t leave my three on the 2nd Sunday in May……but I could next weekend!
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I will say that I am hearing your pain on this one. What I really wanted to do this Mothers Day was to do the Mothers Day classic with my mum and sisters/sister in law with no kids and a lovely lunch afterwards.
What I am getting is to be up at the crack of dawn to go to Auskick in the cold/rain (I have seen the forecast) as the coaches have told my boys that mum’s HAVE to come along (my husband runs it and did this on purpose I am sure). We lost my grandmother 6 months ago so I want to have lunch with my mum and daughter and my mum has just informed me that she could not possibly leave my step father home (note that I have no issue with my step father but I really liked the idea of having just the 3 of us for lunch).
It will be fine but definately not my choice of events. I will also get to enjoy the mothers day stall gifts which I do truly cherish.
On the upside, the following weekend my best friend and I have organised to stay in town for the night with shopping (Ikea wandering all afternoon), day spa and dinner/breakfast all by ourselves. That is my real mothers day present to myself. I just accept that Mothers Day is actually about my kids and wait the extra week.
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I get it! I get that mother’s want to spend the day to themselves and enjoy a movie in peace.
I do too but just not on mother’s day.
Choose another day because to me mother’s day is about enjoying that crappy toast and those presents chosen from the mother’s day stall that they are so excited to give you and just suck it up and smile.
That is what my mother did and that is what I will be doing because my children will always remember those days just like I do.
(handmade macaroni earrings for my mum one year and you should have seen the delighted look on her face).
Go to the movies and enjoy your space but does everything always have to be ME ME ME.
I did get a laugh out of this post but when I really thought about it I felt a little saddened that this is what it comes down to.
Mother’s day with out the mother’s or children? what then is the point?
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My mum told me today that mothersday isn’t for young mums, I’m not supposed to do something with my hubby and child, because she expects me to have scones with her on Sunday! I wanted to spend the day with my man and boy, but if I visited his mum, and my mum, I’d not get a chance, is this a prob for anyone else? It seems ironic to me, because at the moment I look after kid, hubby, and both our mothers (not full on caring, but zipping them to appointments, shops etc. I’m flat chat and would enjoy a day about me, yet as a not caring for grandchildren grand parent my mum thinks the day is about her!
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I say spend it with your hubby and son. I think mother’s day is all about young and first time mums. Your mum has had plenty of mother’s days now it is your turn!!! be strong and say NO.
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I love this. I was actually wondering how I could manage a bit of time wihtout my kids on Mother’s Day and I only have two of them! Shopping has become my “me time” so I was planning to head to our local Farmers’ Market where I can get great coffee, hot pain au chocolat in return for coming home with a dozen eggs and some spinach and sourdough.
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I agree with everything you say Jo, Mother’s Day is tiresome and frustrating for me too, but I really think the lies you told to your own Mum are really harsh and selfish.
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Harsh and selfish are not the words I’d have used – the woman is clearly a genius!
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Hope her mum doesn’t read her article. My mother passed away quite some years ago and way too young so I would give anything to spend one more day with her, and don’t think I don’t understand that children are horrible at cafes. Cherish what you have because it is all gone way to soon. Not saying you can’t spend a day to yourself but just remember one day those children will be grown up and your mum will be gone and you too will give anything to have them bring you that bad toast in bed and watch your mum run after and enjoy her grandchildren.
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Do you people ever actually READ the articles before scrolling down the bottom to moan? She is going to the movies WITH her mum on mothers day.
Sheesh. Boils my blood, it does.
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I’m honestly perplexed over the whole ‘Mothers Day’ in the first place TBH. There’s a host of reasons that contribute to my personal lack of regard for the so-called celebration but mostly my heart just isn’t in it. It truly feels like a commercialism success. I was horrified when I was looking into washing machine models the other day (ours is dying) and the salesman said they had a spike in iron sales for mothers day. Say what?! I’d throw it back at the giver
. I know for some it’s about the lunches and not gifts, I’m just adding my impression of this bizarre set up. If I want a kid-free day then I organise it and go ahead and enjoy it, by the same token if I want to get together with family or my immediate family same deal. I don’t wait for a set day to do it.
I kinda think our relatively young society craves traditions but gosh, this one doesn’t reflect what it could.
That said, for the record, there is nothing I love more on “Mothers Day” than the excitement the kids have to give me all their hand-made stuff they did in school. Or the effort my eldest goes to to display my breakfast on a tray (with a good proportion of non-breakfast items, she’s awesome!). It feels weird to do that on a set day, but they truly enjoy it and I won’t take that from them.
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Thankyou Jo for inspiring me – you described my idea of a perfect mother’s day!! It’s probably too late for this year – kids and hubby are already “trying” to organise something (ie I’ll end up having to organise it and then have to clean up the mess afterwards!) but you’ve given me something to strive for in the future!
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Do I have to spend mothers day with my mother inlaw?
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If you find a way please share!!
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There are ways but none of them are much fun. But maybe that is just my ML
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NO. NEVER.
You either have to spend it with your Mum, or you have to have quality time alone to get over the fact that you can’t spend it with your Mum.
HE, on the other hand, has to ship off to the old bag’s. It’s the only way your refusal will hold water.
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Im trying to be cool about it…it’s my first mothers day…but my husband has booked himself in for a golf comp. I just want card in the morning….if I don’t get that I will cry. I will also visit my mum and have casual lunch at her house…we have never really gone out to lunch….mainly cos I’m unorganized and forget to book.
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I’m going to be doing the Mothers Day Classic with my friend. We both have 4 children each, so our cheer squad at the end will be big!
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Well my mum is spending it with her kids ie. ME. And I’m ditching my kids with the husband so I can spend a few hours with my mum! There are some kind of mean comments in this section. I am a mum everyday for my kids and I do a not-perfect-but-pretty-good job at it. So if on Mother’s Day I want to spend it with my mum going to lunch and to the movies, well, I’m going to do it, bloody enjoy it and come home to the crazy chaos an even better mum.
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It’s ironic that you want to celebrate mothers day with your Mum, but you deny your kids the opportunity to celebrate their mother (i.e. you). Why not invite your mum over, and you all enjoy each others company, the kids get to know that you love time with them and they get to make you feel special. Then schedule another day to have your alone time.
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This atrlicle is so so sad. Yes you should spend mothers day with your kids. Of course you should, If the cafe with the whole family doesnt work find something that does, think take away coffee and croissants at the park. Its a day to celebrate your relationship with your kids, get some home made cards and smile at the chaos, not whinge about it. Go to the movies next week.
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Aaah, Mothers’ Day. Shudder. I’m the only daughter among multiple brothers. As anyone else who has years of single-handedly herding male relatives and their offspring to family events under their belt knows, there are times when you just can’t face it.
So I had a quiet chat with my Mum a couple of weeks ago. We are both planning to ‘forget’ Mothers Day this year, and the two of us are going out for a civilised cafe lunch on Saturday instead, for no particular reason. No kids, no grandkids, no spilt milkshakes, no trying to get money out of moneybags brothers for part of the bill. Just quiet, and chat, and eating what and when we want to.
Should the brothers happen to wake up on Sunday from whatever sport-befuddled fug they normally live in and remember – or have the kids remind them – that it’s Mothers’ Day, they can just sort themselves out this year. It’s our present to ourselves.
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That’s hilarious. I only have 1 brother and I’m always doing gentle reminders and guiding with him on these sorts of things. My daughter has 2 brothers and I can already see her doing this with them. Very funny.
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No, Mary, not funny. Your job now is to have another daughter, so she can share the trauma.
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Do I have to spend mothers day with my mum?
No I don’t!
She lost the right to be called mum years ago I wish I had a mum that I loved and was a darling mother but I don’t
So I will be spending it with my kids because I’m their mum
Don’t forget you are a mother too you don’t have to rush around pleasing the elder mothers
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“Do I have to spend Mothers Day with my kids?”
Yes. Next question?
“I can’t think of a more unpleasant day than chasing after my three children who tend to run in three different directions.” Please excuse my ignorance, but why did you have kids? Having to run around after them and clean up after them and not get a moment to myself is why I chose not to have any.
Time alone isn’t the reward for having kids – I have plenty of that without being a mum – I thought the kids were the reward for having kids?
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I’m glad I don’t know you in real life. Or at least, I hope I don’t.
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Just because she chose not to be a mother doesn’t mean she is a bad person. Jeez.
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Actually, my comment had absolutely nothing to do with not wanting children. It had to do being dismissive, judgemental and intolerant. Not a person I would like to meet in life, quite independent of anything to do with children.
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Thanks Amy.
It’s simply that I *don’t* understand why women have children then complain about having to care for them. It’s not like they don’t know kids are high maintenance. I like kids, I’m happy to chat to them and/or admire them, but I’m not interested in having any myself for exactly that reason (among others).
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You don’t understand women who have children and then complain about them because you are not a mother. You couldn’t understand. Mothers are not saints, they are human. And all humans deserve a couple of hours to themselves once or twice a year (dry laugh).
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Like never have a break, really? Kids are just consuming in general. all at different ages and just because a mum wants just a couple hours away from them. Espically if they are with them all day every day. It doesn’t make you a bad mother or you shouldn’t have them. That’s ridiculous! I’m sure without children you misinterpret complaining as venting or discussions. It’s nice to have someone who can relate to what your going through.
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Hi elli,
I do see your point, but try to think of it this way.
If you work, and generally enjoy your job, sometimes you still bitch and complain about it, you also enjoy holidays and weekends and time away from work.
This doesn’t mean you should quit your career altogether,
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A few years back, my sister and mother and i had the same aha moment. Realising that we had spent mothers day like every other day, catering for our families. Thus began our new tradition. We go out for lunch or dinner together on mothers day, and leave the kids at home with their daddy’s. It exactly that an enjoyable day/evening, relaxing and enjoying a meal, and a little shop or movie.
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I love my kids to death but geeze, I would be over the moon if my husband told me he was taking the kids away Saturday night and would not be back til late Sunday arvo.
A nice quiet breakfast (a quiet start to the day is the one thing I crave from my pre-parenting days), a hot bath, only getting lunch for myself, then home delivery with the family for dinner… that would be a good mother’s day…
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This is the first mother’s day in 28 years where my lovely mother is flying solo – both of her girls are o/s. I wish I was home with her!
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The night before is my future sister in law’s hen’s night. A bunch of us (all mothers) are staying at one house together so we can enjoy our hangovers child free. Then the boys will bring the kids for a bbq lunch- no cooking or cleaning to be done by us AT ALL! Not bad.
Missing my beautiful mum who left us too early 9 years ago xoxo
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Three years ago my daughter (18mo old at the time) had pneumonia and was hospitalized – on Mother’s Day. Two years ago On Mother’s Day i had a very very bad flu – the bedridden for four days type. Last year I took a pregnancy test on Mother’s Day – yep, going to be a mother again
This year I will celebrate with my 6yo, 4yo and 4mo. Hoping for no pneumonia, flu or dare I say it – pregnancy!
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Love your writing Jo .. Thanks for keeping it real.. Your writing is refreshingly honest..
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It’s my first mothers day this year with my little girl, and while we can’t afford to buy me a present after buying for both my mum and husbands mum (maternity leave poorness anyone?!), having her this year is present enough. I have however threatened my husband with death if I don’t get a card, written by him on behalf of my (4 month old) daughter about how much she loves me and “signed” by her, haha!
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I’ve learnt that the only person who really gets a mothers day is whoever the oldest mum in the family is – so on my husband’s side that’s my MIL and on my side it’s my Nanna. The rest of us fit in with the matriarch’s plans and doesn’t really think about whether it’s ‘their’ day or not. We moved one of the get togethers to the night before just so that I can have a couple of hours at home in the morning to be the ‘top mum’ at least for a little while LOL. Not sure if we are in the bad books now though…
Hate breakfast in bed. I’ll have mine at the table please
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Same as in my family… Mil always wants to go out for breakfast and the same thing happens as at jo’sfamily lunch… Last year I put my foot down and said its my day too and I want a damn sleep in and not have to rush around getting kids organized then sit at breakfast while everyone else gets to eat while I make sure the kids aren’t running riot!
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If they asked the question “Do I have to spend Mother’s Day with my Mum?” that would not be nice. I have seen it happen, many times.
Spend it with them, these tough years of chasing them will soon be over and you will miss them.
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Having lost my mum seven years ago, I’ll being thinking about her a fair bit I imagine – gosh I miss our conversations.
As for our household, not only will I awake to my three, um, delightful cherubs, but bad planning on my part will see us wake with an extra four 10-year-olds as a belated birthday party to our son. Am thinking a champagne breakfast would help but don’t think the other parents would be happy if I was tipsy at 10am when they collect their child so had better stick to coffee…. dammit.
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I also lost my mum 7 years ago and will wake to 2 lovely little monsters. Treat yourself and have 1 glass of champagne and save the rest for when the little ones are tucked in bed : )
Happy mothers day to all
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Thanks I heart coffee. I hope you get a quiet little moment to think of your mum too. I might have to take your advice on the champagne too
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You’re welcome!
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2005 sounds like it was a bad year – I lost my mum then too. I try to be happy on Mother’s Day but it is always bittersweet for me. Love and miss you mum. xx
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Hey Petal, yep 2005 was a shocker. Hope you’re still able to smile this Mother’s Day
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I hope you enjoy your day the best you can and know that our mothers would be pretty proud : )
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I had the best mother’s day last year. Breakfast with my kids and husband then a play at home and spent the afternoon window shopping with a friend then had a cheeky pint at the pub together. Total bliss!
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Just had the most brilliant mother’s day treat the weekend before the official day. My mothers group all went away for the weekend (2 nights) sans children and partners. It was brilliant! We went hiking, out to dinner, read books and generally just relaxed. Some mums had not had a night away from their kids for a couple of years. It makes the coming mother’s day quite exciting with the kids as we all feel we have had our me mum time already. Highly recommend it. We’ve decided to make it an annual tradition.:)
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I’m with you. I am not opposed to an ordinary day together, but do not want to go to a lot of trouble to celebrate mother’s day (eg, lunch out with the kids) when i know it will only be hard work. Peace and quiet are the mother’s and father’s day gifts we give around here.
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Funny. I was hoping for a lazy morning but my son has a footy game. Might try to pull the mother’s day card to get out of that one! Followed by a yum cha lunch with our lot and my parents and brother. Then…get this…my husband informs me that he has booked us all in for a game of golf in the afternoon. I don’t even like golf. “But I do!” he says. “It’s not friggin father’s day buddy!” God help me!
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Simone, your post made me laugh so much. Words fail me. Golf on Mother’s Day. lol.
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Hope my husband books is on for golf. I LOVE golf. Will go suggest it now!!
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Do they have a club house that you need to ‘explore’ while he takes the kids with him to play golf? Oh and he is driving
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I have 3 children and feel this same so I started a tradition for myself about 4 years ago.
The Saturday right before Mother’s Day I go out super early to the shops by myself. I eat breakfast alone quietly in a cafe. Shop all day. Eat lunch and drink quietly by myself and make my home eventually in the afternoon.
I feel rested, happy and relaxed ready to be woken up super early by super excited kids. Have a quiet take away lunch from an asian restaurant or something with my Mum at our place. We might hang out at the park in the afternoon. In the evening hubby feeds the kids toasted sandwiches while I have a long bath. He puts them to bed by himself and i usually end up nursing a bottle of red wine, dark chocolates while warching some chick flick.
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Mary, you have possibly described my perfect weekend. *sigh*
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Totally pilfering your idea. Thanks Mary!
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Ha ha! enjoy
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Man, you just never know what’s going to set people off do you?
I thought this was a funny light hearted piece, about one woman’s experience. Of course there are going to be Mums looking forward to first Mother’s Days and Mums who love the chaos of family dos.There will be people who are sad because they haven’t got mums anymore and mums who have lost children, and while that is terrible for them (and it truly is and my heart breaks for those people), can’t you see that this is just one perspective? Other people probably do relate to what Jo is saying and that in no way diminishes your experience.
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Eh? What’s the problem? People were invited to comment. You are right, this is *one* woman’s experience. So are other people not allowed to share theirs because it might be less than pleasant for you to read about?
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You are right. Of course you are. I just bristle at the rudeness of some of those comments, like how dare Jo say she’d like a day without her children when some women can’t see their kids. Maybe I should’ve phrased it better. Sorry for offending you.
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Girl, that has to be one of the most polite comments ever written on this site!
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As a former waiter, just the thought of setting foot inside a restaurant on mothers day is enough to give me palpitations. Overcrowded, overbooked and everyone on edge because the manager has decided to set up as many extra tables as possible, throwing the whole flow of the restaurant into chaos. Aargh.
I agree that we need to think of some new mothers day traditions. My mum is going to be spending the whole day on the golf course, and I’ll be cooking a huge dinner for her (and the rest of the family) to be waiting when she returns. I’m not being especially filial here- I will just go to extraordinary lengths to avoid mothers day restaurant hell.
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Be glad you can even see your children on Mother’s Day. I work at a Women’s Centre and just in this last hour I have been working with a Mother who is facing Mother’s Day NOT knowing where her children are. The father removed the children from the family home yesterday and the mother does not know where they are or whether they are safe.
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How absolutely terrifying. I hope everything is resolved quickly & everyone is safe.
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It is unlikely to be resolved quickly. Unless of course the children’s father decides to return them. Police have no power to intervene until a magistrate grants a location or recovery order. The woman has to wait for her application for legal aid to be approved before she can make application to the court. Family dispute resolution negotiations broke down due to the father not being prepared to compromise. The children aged 2 & 5 have never spent a night away from their mother: until now.
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Oh no, so sorry to hear that. I realise I am very lucky to even get the opportunity to need a break from my beautiful children. Kissing them when I get home is the best part of having a little break.
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I don’t get to join in my mums tradition which is a lunch out with only mums allowed. we live too far away
I will have pancakes cooked for me by my husband and kids and handmade cards of course but the rest of the day will be an ordinary Sunday I would think.
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I agree with most of your sentiments, and it is a well written post except for one tiny line that jars and is fairly confronting….
“The thought of going out for Mother’s Day lunch with my entire family and all seven children makes me want to blow my brains out.”
I know it is written in jest, but it needs to be toned down a bit. I don’t usually get all high horse on here – perhaps I am a bit sensitive today, but it is an upsetting throwaway line that I cannot comprehend the usage of.
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I agree, I thought it was in extremely poor taste.
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That was the best line in the post. Boy do I know that feeling!
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Well, I was planning on spending my first mothers day home, alone, crying and wishing other people understood what a horrific day this is for those of us who have lost a child. I was going to spend the day avoiding mothers and families like yours, and feeling bitter everything you are whining about above. Feeling invisible. Feeling unacknowledged. Feeling ripped off.
But instead I will pull myself out of my funk and I’ll take a friend out to lunch who lost her mother a few weeks ago. We might toast our lost loved ones with a drink. Lord knows we will need it.
Wishing a peaceful and gentle mothers day to all those who find the day so intensely hard to get through.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, Anon. Please know that we have some posts planned over the next couple of days for those who are expecting a difficult Mother’s Day. And in the meantime, we also have this post here: http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/for-all-those-expecting-a-difficult-sunday/ I hope that it might help in some way.
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Thanks for the link, it was a beautiful post
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I’m sorry for your loss too, that is just heartbreaking.
A friend of mine spent the day with me, the first Mother’s Day without my Mum, rather than spending that day with her own family. It’s a gesture I’ll never forget.
I hope the time with your friend is really special as you draw strength from eachother.
xxxxx
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Thank you Hayley. Sending love to you this Sunday.
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This makes me sad because this will be my first mother’s day and I’m so excited to spend the entire day with my almost 1 year old. Saying that though, the person I don’t want to spend mother’s day with this year is my Mum and I won’t be. Thank goodness for that!
I don’t get why you’d have to change your sheets. Wouldn’t your Husband do that? Ditto for handling the kids while at lunch.
I’m excited for breakfast in bed, cuddles on the lounge and being lazy all day.
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Not everyone is lucky enough to have husbands/partners who help out with the kids when they are home, even on just one day of the year.
So glad I married on who does, though
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