This is a sponsored post from Clearblue
by JO ABI
I am CONSTANTLY asked if I’m going to have another baby and I am often asked the question whilst surrounded by my three children. How do they know I want another one, because I really really do. Is there a sign on my forehead?
I know it’s crazy. Four children these days is a lot. Four children is a pack. Four children mean we’ll need a bigger car, a bigger house and more money. But another baby is what I want. And I don’t know what to do.
I have two boys and a girl. I have my girl. Who am I to have another beautiful, healthy baby? There are couples who can’t have any. I have three nephews and a niece. I’m surrounded by children. I’ve given away my cot and my rocker. I’m done, aren’t I?
There’s this saying I love. It goes, “Bite off more than you can chew and then chew like crazy.” That’s how I’ve felt ever since I had my third baby. But I just love it. I love everything about being a mother. I never thought I would love it so much. I love watching them eat the dinner I have made, I love grocery shopping with them and having them help me choose food for the week, I love dressing them after their bath, chasing then around the house while they do their traditional nightly ‘nude run’ amidst lots of laughing and the occasional fall.
But to go back to baby-stage…
Baby-stage is fun but it’s all-consuming and I’m worried that when I have another baby my other children will feel neglected. But I did okay when I had my third. I involved them as much as I could and I always made time for hugs and conversation at the end of the day, no matter how tired I felt.
My boys became so comfortable with their baby sister that they dragged her to their room so she could watch them play video games. I had left her on her play mat and when I walked back in – coffee in hand – she was gone. I walked quickly to the boy’s room and found they had grabbed her little arms and dragged her the whole way. She hadn’t even cried and she was lying on their dirty floor, happily gurgling and dribbling away. I put her in the rocker and left her there. She was always happiest when she was with them.
When I spoke to my husband about the prospect of having another baby he said, “Whatever you decide, I’ll do.” How frustrating. Can’t he give me some sort of reaction? Can’t he at least help me make a list of pros and cons?
Do you know I even have a box of Clearblue in my bathroom draw? And that’s another thing. Will I even be able to get pregnant at this age? The sex, the weeing on a stick, the waiting and hoping. Do you remember the feeling of seeing that little plus sign? Pregnant! But I had trouble conceiving my second baby and I must have spent hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests until finally getting a positive one. I kept them at work, at home and in my handbag. Whenever I was shopping I’d pick up a pack just in case because when they came up negative I told myself it might be too early. After several negatives I’d usually accept the answer but all that heartache just made it even more wonderful when that little stick told me I had a baby on the way. And one word would always pop into my head when I saw that little plus sign – family.
I am thirty-six years of age and I desperately want another baby. Thank goodness I can easily monitor my ovulation as well, because I’m going to need all the help I can get. It took me one month to become pregnant with my first when I was twenty-seven, almost a year with my second (because I was trying to time the conception so I would end up with a girl then gave up and had another boy) and my third was a surprise. I was still breastfeeding my second baby boy when I fell pregnant with her.
I feel with four my family will be finished. But what if I have another baby and I still don’t feel like my family is complete. How many babies will it take? Hopefully just one more adorable little bundle. Just one more and then I swear, I’m done. I think.
Trying to have a baby is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life. If you’re like most, once you’ve decided you’re ready to get pregnant you want it to happen as quickly as possible. Yet one in two couples could be trying on the wrong days of a woman’s cycle.
Clearblue can help. We’ve developed the Digital Ovulation Test which is more accurate than temperature and calendar method *, as it is over 99% accurate in detecting the LH surge prior to ovulation. So you know when to have fun!
(*data on file)
This post is sponsored by Clearblue. Comments on this post are just for this post. If you want to talk about the IDEA of sponsored posts or the choice of advertisers please click here. We will be reading all those comments too for feedback.
Once you decided that you wanted another child, how easy did you find it to fall pregnant again? What methods/tips did you use to help you conceive?
Comments
222 Comments so far
I wanted 3. Three would of have been nice. But the decision has been taken away from me. (We would need to do IVF again, I don’t think I can face that. After Master A, my OB advised me against further pregnancies due to the effect on me, and then the final kicker, my neurologist said that it wouldn’t be wise to get pregnant again for at least 12 months due to the brain tumour).
At first I was sad, but over the last few months I’ve come to accept that we have two kids, and that is just fine. It probably doesn’t help that I am so so tired, and the thought of juggling another one just seems too much. But I’m also looking forward to that next stage, with school sports, and tuckshop duties, and ballet lessons, and family holidays away. And some sleep!
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I have three kids and I knew Sally was my last. I was 39 when she arrived. I could have handled another baby, but not another pregnancy. I wasn’t one of those women who sales gloriously through pregnancy. Not that I was sick, just tired, lumpy, permanently uncomfortable and crabby. My husband got a big bag of frozen peas and a trip to the Snip’n'Pay clinic shortly after our arrival home from hospital.
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I feel the same way. If someone would like to have a pregnancy and then give me their baby (with excellent genes), I am all for it.
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I have a 2.5 year old boy and am currently 14wks pregnant with #2…as much as I love the idea of more children the reality of pregnancy for me is just awful…vomiting up bile and getting blood noses from retching so hard just one example that has me chanting “no more kids” at 3am
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Oh you poor thing, that sounds terrible. I too found pregnancy not to be a walk in the park and couldn’t stand to do it again. Good Luck and hope you feel better soon.
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Hope it gets better for you sometime during the second trimester! I was in your shoes last year. I was working night shifts In a physical job and that did not help at all! I would like more children, but I have to psych myself up to go through another pregnancy! Luckily the end result is more than worth it
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I had my first, a boy, at 33, my second, a girl at 35 and now my 3rd, a boy is 5 months old and I’m 38. I did take a while deciding if I would have a 3rd because I had ‘one of each’ and my daughter took a bit longer to sleep thru and was generally a bit harder to manage. However, my Mum always said you only get one chance. You can’t go back and think I wish I’d had another etc so that always stayed with me because I didn’t want to think that I’d always wanted a 3rd and didn’t do it. Mind you, 3 under 5 is hard work and I can’t wait for my eldest to start school next year!!! I know I am finished though, that’s for sure, and that is also a great feeling!
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Okay, so this is how much I am obsessing over whether to have another baby … I actually googled “Should I have a third baby?” the other night.
That’s right. I actually asked Google a question. As if it was some kind of oracle. Or, you know, my mother.
Clearly, I am insane.
Ever since Fin was born I have been wondering about whether we should go again. I have to take my age in consideration (I’m 40) and a few other issues. I just feel like someone is missing but maybe I will always feel that way. But I do like the idea of three kids in the house … three is a posse.
That said, I feel incredibly blessed to have Ava and Fin, so if another baby isn’t meant to be – that’s totally fine by me.
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I say go for it, Bec!
My mum had my little sister when she was 42, and I’m glad she did! My grandmother had her 10th at 44!
If your gut is telling you ‘have a third’, or heck, a third and fourth, go for it!
Best of luck!
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Hehe, I’ve asked google a question more times than I care to admit
Good luck with your decision x
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Yeah do it! 3 kids are awesome…I love it!!!
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Bec, I’d say that’s a “yes” to your question!
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Bec, like you, my family is missing one (and always will be). I have two sons (aged 7 & 4) and a daughter (who would have been 8 by now had she not died 5 days after she was born). We pondered this very question, back and forth for a couple of years after my youngest was born. Eventually, we decided that no matter how many kids we had, our family would always be missing our daughter. In conjunction with other factors such as, in my case, high risk & stressful pregnancies, a husband who works long hours at a stressful job, our age and the fact that my sons are joyously and sometimes overwhelmingly ‘action men’, we decided that for the welfare of our entire family ‘enough was enough’.
That is not to say I don’t still mourn the opportunity to parent a daughter and all the girly, and later, womanly things inherent in a mother-daughter relationship … the grief still appears at expected times such as birthdays and other special occasions as well as many an unexpected moment … who knew shopping for my sons clothes, in stores that appear to be filled to the brim almost entirely with pretty girls clothing, could be so fraught with emotion???
But overall we are learning that living life and indeed loving life is not impossibility despite the fact that we are living without our daughter. We are trying to embrace and enjoy this new stage in our family life, one in which we are no longer constrained by nap times or nappies.
In fact we have recently returned from a 3-month camping trip exploring some of the natural beauty that the Australian coast and outback has to offer!
Bec, this is no means intended as advice for you or anyone else, I just wanted to share my experience and to thank you for sharing so much of yourself and the loss of your daughter Georgie….
You continuing to write about her makes me feel less alone and gives me hope that one day I too might write about my daughter in some meaningful way. And no, you can never write too much about her. After all, there’s not much else bereaved parents can do for their child…
Wishing you (and others facing this decision) peace. xMx
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Beautifully written JC x
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Really tough decision…I would love another, I have 4 daughters….however my last was premmie and born with a congenital heart condition and as much as it breaks my heart to say it I don’t think i could go back for number 5…..I met a mum one time with 9 and she said “theres always room for another cup of stock in the soup!”…enjoy making your decision, i’ll keep you in my prayers.
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I went for number 3 and got 3 and 4. Number 3 was going to be a financial stretch so imagine our shock to learn we were having twins. My children are all gorgeous, but sometimes I am envious of those who stopped at two. We were forced to buy a larger car and house. Holidays and music lessons are possible with 2. I am unable to go back to work until the twins are in school, which is in another 2 years. Even if I do there will be the perennial problem of what to do in school holidays and when a child gets sick etc. I am a meticulous budgeter and our income only covers the basics. There are no meals out, alcohol, holidays, ipads and I rarely buy clothes. When I do it is at Kmart or Target. I would say think twice about going for number 4 unless you will be happy to go without things. And the workload with 4 is HUGE.
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My auntie stopped at 2 for this exact reason. She didnt want the budget to be really tight and was able to live in a really nice area by stopping.
Thanks for such an honest post
Twins are an amazing blessing but undoubtedly double the trouble at the same time! Supermum!
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Thanks for your honesty . So refreshing !
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I love love love my two little boys and do not want another! I have a 3 year old and a baby. I can’t imagine having any more children, it’s a fantastic feeling being ‘finished’. I’ll be very happy when my husband gets a vasectomy
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I would love to have another baby, but I have been stopped in my tracks! Our 3 children are IVF (due to no sperm) and we have 4 embryos in storage. I am 40 in two weeks and my partner is 46. We should have left the travel we did in the beginning and just had babies. I would have gone on and had several more (hopefully not working part time as well
), but we worry that we are too old now and more importantly too old later. I will be 57 when our twins are 20, and my partner 63. We have stopped to give them as much as we can, and as much of us as we can. I have never had the feeling that I was done, I suspect I never will – even on the very bad days I would still like another. But I understand rationally that we will need to wrok longer than others because of our age to support the children. And I am immensely grateful for the 3 I have.
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I cannot tell you how unbelievably interesting I find this. That even on bad days that you want another. On my bad days I regret having them and wish I was working on a cruise ship! I am also interested generally in all the comments of so many of you wanting more and so many of you saying you love love love it all – the whole parenting caper. I have two and feel very much done. I definately wanted to be a mum, I love my children, but I have found the experience very hard emotionally and physically and that seems to be my dominating feeling on the matter. That its just been so bloody hard why in gods name would I ever want to do this again? A very interesting topic this is.
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I totally agree! I have two and most days I think I should have stopped at one. I do wonder whether most women are just not honest about their experiences of motherhood. It’s either that, or they just have a hell of a lot more patience than me…
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I know a single mother of 2 whos son was in daycare 50 hours per week from the age of 2 til he started school – just so she could go to tafe. I do not understand it, but she says being a mum wasnt enough for her, so i guess its just different for different people. she regrets having hers too but she also wouldnt give them up for the world. I just think different people have different opinions and there is no right way to be or right answer to any questions like these.
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Thank you for your honesty in admitting this. I have a 4 month old daughter and I love her to bits!! And i had to have fertility treatments to have her so I am so grateful i could have her. But gosh, being a mother has been such hard, exhausting and relentless work! I always thought it was going to be hard but not so hard! The lack of sleep has drained me completely. Her smiles make me feel better abt it in the mornings. But I’m in no rush for another just yet…but I want to have one more. But I know for sure that will be it. Even having another is something I’ve had to carefully consider and think through because I’ve found baby stage so hard- I’m worried abt going through it again. But I think I will regret it if I don’t have one more. So I’m going to pump myself up for it again. Maybe it won’t be so hard…but even with one.. Sometimes I feel like I’m drained. I find it amazing how people want more and more!
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I had my second boy a few weeks ago and all I can say is that all babies are different, and if you’ve struggled with your first that definitely doesn’t mean your second will be as hard. I am discovering this now- my first boy was easy peasy, and I thought people whingey about parenting for the sake of it. But I totally get it with my second! He’s hard work!! I’m so glad the hard one came second, because at least I have a bit more of an idea about what’s going on. Second time around you don’t need to worry about the tiredness tho, I’m coping just fine on 1-2 hrs per night, because my body is used to it. So your second will probably be easy!!
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I have a friend with no children. I have a friend with six children. I have friends with every number of children inbetween.
Without question, every single one of those friends would like one more child than they have already. Me too, but it won’t be happening. My mother also tells me she would have liked one more child.
I wonder why we always, always feel like there’s someone missing no matter how many children we have?
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I get asked the question about trying again a lot too – but often with the added ‘for a girl’ tacked onto the end of it. We have three boys and will absolutely go back for another, but not ‘for a girl”. We always planned on four and we still feel that’s right for us. I’m 99% convinced we’ll have another boy, but for some reason there are people who seem to feel sorry for us, and question why we’d bother. I know that they don’t mean to be offensive and it’s really just a comment on their own view about their life, but really, what kind of parents would we be if we were having a baby to fulfill a gender quota instead of simply adding another personality to the mix?
On another note, I really feel for a few of my girlfriends who have two, want a third, but husbands want to stay at two. I am so grateful that my husband and I are on the same page with this, what do you do when you’re not? I feel for both the husbands and the wives as they both want to make each other happy, but want different things for their families.
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I know the feeling about the ‘trying again for a girl’. I have a newborn son and we didn’t find out the gender before he was born. I thought he was a girl – not because I particularly wanted a girl, but because that’s what I thought. While everyone is congratulating us, I’m getting a lot of ‘better luck next time’s. Um what? Since when did having a son become an invalid form of parenthood, and something to commiserate us on?! So rude and incredibly unkind. Just be as delighted with our tiny boy as we are FFS!!
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I know exactly how you feel, as I am in the same boat. I think I could go for another, but it has to be because we want another child, not just because we want a girl. I consider it a privilege to be given the opportunity to raise the type of men that other parents hope their daughters’ marry!
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oh and little boys are just the cutest! (bias much!) I would have a hundred little boys if they are anything like my 9 month old! I think before having children I thought would love a boy and a girl, but now that i have a son, I know that i am so so blessed and would love every baby I was lucky enough to have.
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I think generally if you are humming and harring over whether to do it… then just do it! Cos that feeling wont go away! We had a boy and girl and all logic said finish up there but my heart said – what about one more!? I think for me it was important to go into a pregnancy knowing it would be my last so I could feel that sense of ‘closure’. So we went for it, pregnant now with our 3rd and know this is right for our family!
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I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with boy #2, my oldest son is two, so there’ll be 27 months between my boys. I would love another one but I’ll be 35 in November so will have to get a hurry on!!
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I always said I wanted a minimum of two children. Code, really for more. The complicating factor for me was post natal depression. I went undiagnosed with the first and was hospitalised with it for 7 weeks with my second. Yet I wanted another child, even though I was warned it was 75% likely to strike again. I wanted that 3rd child so much. I would look around to count kids before crossing the road, and one was missing. There was a face missing at each meal. It wasn’t a baby, but another. PERSON I wanted to be with us. My husband was really supportive and I had a great deal of professional assistance before, during and after the pregnancy. And so I had Constance., at 41. I count my blessings often. I love the crowd my family is. It felt RIGHT when she arrived. But I did get sick again, this time being hospitalised for 12 weeks. And I can tell you, IT WAS WORTH EVERY MOMENT OF BEING UNWELL.
I think part of the strength of the feeling of knowing you want another child has to do with experience. I had a miscarriage just before I got pregnant the last time and I was surprised at the intensity of grief I felt. Not for a baby, but for the child I had already come to know. So different from when I was pregnant with Number 1 and could only imagine him.
As for gaps- I had 16 months between 1 & 2 and 5 years til number 3. In my experience, a gap is a gap. There’s pros and cons to any situation, and much as we think we can make plans, sometimes it’s out of our control.
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Worth every moment you say but what about the devastating effect of PND on family, friends and your other children? We are dealing with this at the moment with a close family member who insisted on having a 3rd despite being hospitalised for PND with her other 2.
She is now in hospital again and it has pushed everyone around her to the brink themselves.
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I have a gorgeous 11 week old son whom I adore. He was our ‘surprise miracle’ (we dont use the term accident in our house). I had a horrible pregnancy and labour and am telling anyone who asks that I absolutely do NOT want another…but really, I’m not sure. All I know is, I’m having such fun and taking such delight in the one I’ve got that I’m not sure I want to ruin the balance by introducing another tiny person to the mix, because I’m not sure I could possibly love another child the way I love him. I’m hoping that once the sleep deprivation and hormones sort themselves out there will be some sort of biological memo telling me if we’re done or not…
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In my humble experience, having another baby doesn’t halve the love ~ it doubles it!
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In my experience I found that I loved each child just as fiercely and wholeheartedly as my first. I have had three, and each birth got easier, too
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I would give anything to have another baby. I had my first as a single parent when I was 30. I met and married the love of my life three years later. Sadly, we have a reasonably large age gap and after being non-commital about it in our courtship, after we were married he announced that he doesn’t want anymore children. Now I’m 39 and feel I could probably fall pregnant again without too much difficulty. But I’m not allowed to. And other than leaving the man I love, I don’t have any other choice. How do I deal with that?
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You’re not allowed to? I get what you mean, but that’s a sad way of looking at things.
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I think four would be wonderful and in an ideal world i would love 3 or 4 my self… !
I do NOT think 36 is too old….my aunty just had her second child (to second marriage) at 42 and she is loving it, she also has a 10yr old.
I was just asking my friend the age gap of her kids yesterday and she has 4 kids herself, each 14 months apart (the last two are twins) and she said that while the age was close, she learnt to deal with it and go with the flow…. some days are challenging then others but to her all that matters is seeing her kids happy with the smiles on their faces.
I myself have a 6 month old, my partner a 10yr old (on weekends), and i am already asking to have another one but not sure what a “good” age gap is (i always thought about 2 yrs gap) My partner on the other hand has said he doesn’t want anymore but then says “if i just so happen to miss the pill and fall pregnant then so be it” completly contradictory i know!
I am about to go and get a pregnancy test though as i think i may be… and although if it comes back positive i will be happy i also know that i will have to answer to my family and his and justify why…. i Hate that i will be judged and questioned. Because of that reason and that reason alone i hope i am not pregnant at this point in time and can try next year for baby number 2.
I hope that you will go with whatever feels right and know that whatever decision you choose that their will be no regrets either way you go… once you have made that choice stick with it and do not regret that choice as it is the right choice that you made at that time.
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I could not believe when I read this how much we have in common. I too had two boys and then were blessed with a beautiful little girl. I just coudn’t get it out of my head however that I wanted another one. One term into my daughters first year of school I had our fourth, a gorgeous little boy, who is the delight of all our family. He is the most spoilt, but so easy going. There are helpers around all the time and not once have my other three children felt like they were neglected. A promise I made to myself was that I would not make the others stop any of their activities because I decided to have another baby. So each week our little one joins me in taking the others to two afternoons of dancing, four lots of soccer training and two games, three swimmings squads, little athletics and now dance eisteddfords. He knows no different to a life filled with activity. And as for the magic number, I could have more, but we won’t because I promised my husband “just one more”.
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I would love to have another baby, but after 3 years and 2 losses still no luck. Maybe 1 is all I am meant to have so I count my blessings everyday.
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I feel the same. I’ve got 2 boys ( 12 & 9),2 years ago we started trying for a 3rd. I’ve miscarried twice ,(I suspect possibly a third time too)& I’m starting to think it’ll never happen. I’m ok with that but I can’t help wishing….
Good luck xx
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I always wanted 2 children because I never wanted an only child.
So when my husband decided that he didn’t want anymore children after we had our first I was surprised to say the least.
My daughter is now in her teen years and I still feel sad that she is an only child.
Good luck Jo with your decision making.
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anonymous – this is so sad… i too know someone that has a only child and desperatly wanted more… she is in the same boat as you and although loves her child unconditionally wishes she had more.
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I have a gorgeous and perfectly healthy 3yo and a 1yo and am currently asking myself this very question. Do I have 1 more in me? I always wanted 3 kids, but when I think logically about it 2 kids just seems to make so much sense (I think my heart says 3 though). I’m only 30 so I have a bit of time up my sleeve, but I also don’t want to be in the ‘baby’ phase for ever. I am happy to admit that I definately DO NOT enjoy the first six to twelve months of a newborn baby, so am keen to have it over and done with sooner rather than later. Arghhhh….what to do????
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Anonymous, are you me?? Actually cause you’re 30 I know you can’t be
. You are me all over – except i’m 36 
.
I, too, just don’t feel like I’m “done” with babies. Its a very hard feeling to describe, but with a nearly 3yr old and a just turned 1yr old…..my ovaries are still aching a little for another!
What does your hubby think on all this?? Mine is very mixed. We’re putting discussion off till end of year……
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You could be me (except I’m 36!).
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LOL i could have written this post 6 months ago!!! I was soooo torn whether to go for it after already having a healthy boy and girl and yes enjoying being out of the baby phase. But you know what? That feeling wasnt going away and I didnt want to live with it forever always wondering ‘what if’. So hubby and I decided – ok the next two years will be madness, with 3 under 5, baby phase etc but after that – it is gonna be AWESOME
so even though all logic said differently, we are now pregnant with our 3rd. As soon as we got pg, no turning back and we were just so happy and couldnt imagine having stopped at two. so i say go for it!!! 
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I don’t mind the baby stage but I hate the toddler tantrum stage that seems to go on forever.
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We had this dilemma and my biological clock was ticking fast. I believe in the old saying “short term pain, long term gain”. We had our third just before I turned forty. Like yourself I do not like the baby stage at all, it’s tough going. We have no family nearby to help and with a 5 and 3 year old having a 6 month old is hard work. BUT I’m so glad we did it. No regrets whatsoever. Just made up our minds to do it and tough it out those first few months. We now have a beautiful family of three.
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Pretty much knew no more when hubby had a vasectomy !
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I have plenty of friends who went back for one more and ended up with twins.
Surprise!
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Do it! I have 4 and it’s chaos but it’s wonderful
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Heck if you can afford 4 children then go for it!
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Yeah I’m with beee! If you can afford it – go for it! I’d love another baby (I only have the one) but we can’t afford another baby right now
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Jen when i accidentally fell pregnant with my second i was devastated. We too couldnt afford it and our first was only 4 months old and still in hospital as he was born at only 25 weeks. Now they are21 months ands 9 months old and we are managing well. It does get very hectic here though
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How did you cope financially?? I know that this is the main reason in the back of my partners head, that we simply can not afford another but if others can manage to do it can’t we??
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You just do. We don’t buy anything extra. My husband has a second job (until I go back to work). Yes, it’s full-on but it’s not forever and when we talk about it, it’s because we imagine what’s in our future – our Christmas table wouldn’t feel right when we retire unless we had our 3 kids around it….
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My brother and sister are 11 months apart and theres a 5 year gap until me. I was an accident and my family resented me for the financial burden i added. this was not obvious or even concious for any of us. It came out after a lot of therapy that i had absorbed all of that resentment and have been having sporading feelings of guilt since i was toddler. Do not risk it. You might be able to afford it now but if you or hubby loses a job or someone gets sick or hurt, what will yr options be?? Its obviously up to you but i think a stable and secure home for 2 kids is better than a stretched and strained home for 3. Just my 2 cents. good luck!
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I had my first boy at 26 years of age and second boy at 28 years of age. At 34 years of age decided to have one more baby and had a beautiful baby girl. At 42 years of age .we decided to adopt a 7 week old baby girl and finally our family feels complete. A big age difference between the boys and girls but they just adore each other. Go for number 4- fourth babies are delightful and are so loved by everybody.
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I couldn’t agree more with this. We welcomed our fourth 14 months ago and she is so loved it’s insane! We’re all just besotted with her and the joy she has brought us is indescribable.
I always wanted four (i’m the youngest of four and so is hubby) but thought it was such a pipe dream given we had fertility treatment to conceive our first. Well here we are with two boys and two girls (aged 6 and under) and all i can say is, if your husband is supportive and you can afford it…GO FOR IT! As the saying goes, “You’ll never regret the children you do have, only the ones you didn’t.” Good luck with your decision : )
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pardon me for asking, but was it an adoption in Australia or did you go overseas?
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Probably not what the sponsor was hoping for but…
You can buy huge boxes of internet cheapie ovulation tests that do the job just fine.
If you have an irregular cycle and ovulation issues you need a whole lot more tests than is contained in this Clear blue pack and it would cost you a fortune.
The only people for whom the brandname option is economical have regular cycles and don’t need to rely on ovulation tests in the first place.
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Agreed, I got an early result from my last pregnancy on one of those tests, 10 days post ovulation. That positive is now a 4 year old little girl, so I also would recommend them.
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We used ‘maybe baby’ which is a little reusable telescope thingy (looks like a
Lipstick). Worked a treat for us!
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In a way I was glad that my decision was made for me, after a surgery to repair two massive hernias left behind by my previous three pregnancies. If it wasn’t for that I may well have kept going, for every single reason that you mentioned. Now that my baby is four, I’ve gone back to work after several years out of it and really enjoying the ‘baby free’ household we have. I just had to get past that point of no return.
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I’ve just had my 4th little one (2 months ago) and my eldest is 6, so that expression “bite off more than you can chew and chew like crazy” describes my world perfectly at the moment! I too have worried if there is enough of me to go around but I think that is underestimating how much the kids get from each other. They all have their moments but on the whole they get on like a house on fire and our house is a noisy but pretty happy home. The only time I come undone is when one gets sick, then the next one, then the next one and then they’re not sleeping etc etc. I liken the whole thing to getting a new job and having that huge learning curve and thinking you can’t do it, you’ll never get the hang of it and then a few months in, you get used to it and it all clicks. Anyway 4 is our magic number and I’m enormously appreciative that we’ve been able to get there. I say go for that 4th baby – you’ll never regret it.
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Your family sounds wonderful. I am picturing the chaos in my mind, and am envious at the moment! I have one Adorable happy little guy and I can’t wait for him to have some siblings!!
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I am not a mother but my housemate recommended Clear Blue, I freaked out thinking I was pregnant and they told me that this was the best one on the market. I now keep a box by my bedside table “in case of emergency” LOL!!!!
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I once heard a maternal and child health nurse say that you will only ever regret the baby that you don’t have, not the one that you do.
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I wonder if people who end up having a disabled child agree with this? This is NOT a sarcastic comment it is something I have often thought about. Do you settle for the few healthy children that you have and count your blessings or keep going and risk it? I think about this often.
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I can’t answer that. But I know that my brother didn’t want to take a risk like that.
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I could have written this!! Whilst I count my blessings every day for 3 healthy, happy children I still feel there is 1 more in me. But at nearly 40 time is ticking and I have now started studying midwifery so I can continue to get my ” baby fix” . I also fear that like you I may be a woman that never feels done, or am I just mourning that fact that my children are growing up way too quickly….
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I have a son, and we’d like for him to have a sibling. But I can’t decide when to have the next baby! What is the best spacing (if there is such a thing)? Advice, anyone?
Oh yes, and I would like 3 kids, my husband is set on 2. Anyone else with this dilemma?
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I’ve heard that 3 years age difference is the worst timing spacing to have for siblings (in terms of them getting along etc.) Explained a lot as my sister and I are 2 years and 11 months apart and fought like cat and dog! Chalk and cheese I guess
I’m sure that there are many exceptions to this rule though.
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That’s not good because I’m half planning on that age gap between my second and third.
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My sister and I are 3.5 years apart and although we may have had some issues growing up with this age gap (I was becoming a too-cool teenager and she still wanted to play with me), on the whole we got along well. And now (at 21 and 25) we’re best friends
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I’m 26 so have some decent evidence behind me now! My brother is three years older and the age gap was fine. Just close enough to ‘grow up’ together and play together and a good age that he took off to uni as I turned 15 and needed more space, teenage-girl wise (metaphorically, not physically).
Now after few years doing our own thing in different places we live together. The age gap is perfect, close enough to have things in common and socialise with each other friends easily.
I can’t think of a reason why three years would be bad.
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In my case, 2 years apart was awful – we were/are like chalk and cheese. But I don’t know that it’s an age-gap thing, more a personality thing, although I did get on well with the youngest who was 4 years younger than me.
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My brother and I are three years appart, my partner and his brother are as well – Based on our bonds with our siblings. I’ll be aiming for 3 years when the time comes.
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My kids are three years apart and I think it’s the perfect age gap. The first is a little bit independent, out of nappies etc when the new baby arrives but they’re still close enough to play really well together.
Mine are 13 & 16 and took themselves off to the movies together last Saturday
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I had a son, then four years later a daughter. It was a great age gap A
and i felt like I was done. Then I divorced and met someone and fell pregnant with our little boy after saying no more. My oldest was 14 and mh daughter 10…. It was scary until he arrived then it was just natural and with my older two now 22 and 18 I love having my 8 yr old and they adore him. I actually struggled with saying no more after my last baby but because i was older i decided definitely no more! Age gaps dong matter because as they get older those gaps close. Never say never…..
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Hi Anna
My two children are 3.5 years apart. My daughter is 4.5 years old and my son just turned one and they ADORE each other! It melts my hear to see them together. Both of their faces light up when the other enters the room. If one is upset the other one starts crying and the house is constantly filled with the beautiful sounds of their giggling and laughing together. I am SO glad that we had this gap because it has given my husband and I time to seperately enjoy both of them as babies x
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you say that like you can plan it and it will all go to schedule. This is a _baby_, right?
Personally i like ‘em close (17ms), which is v hard work but gets it all out of the way. I know a lady who had 4 year gaps, and she has 4 kids.
It’ll all work out in the end, and honestly it’s not like you have that much control over it.
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I had planned for my children to be really close together – I wanted 3. We ended up with just the two, and they were 4 yrs apart. Sometimes it does’t go to plan! For us, the 4 yr age gap has been lovely. They are great mates and the elder child is a bit of a protector of his little brother. Looking back now I wouldn’t have it any other way. As a bonus there will only be one year where we have school fees for both at the same time
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for all the planning on when to have number 2, you never know how easy it will be.
There is no ‘good’ time to have a baby – nature will through what it wants at you.
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i think 2 years is a fantastic age gap – old enough that toddler is talking a bit, mobile, getting more independent but close enough that they can still play well together and be close. i have a 4 and 2 yr old and its wonderful!
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two year olds still really need their mum though, for cuddles and becaise they just dont understand yet that mum cant do what they want at the very second they ask…which is why I was happy with a 3 year gap, im glad my first had that extra bit of time with just me.
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Hi everyone,
Your answers are wonderful and helpful. We were leaning towards a 3 year age gap, and I think this is the route we will aim for (nothing set in stone, I realize!). Exciting stuff!!
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