Do you swear a lot?
by JO ABI
I have a mouth like a trucker, and this is fitting because for the past three years my husband has been a trucker. I f-bomb more than I care to remember. And I used to think ‘shit’ was bad.
Picture this…a sweet, innocent, naive young girl decides she wants to be a radio announcer. She’s Italian so she’s still living at home. She manages to nab her dream job and lands a gig as a breakfast radio co-host and is suddenly thrust into a mega-cool swear-friendly environment. At first she tries to tone down the language but soon gets sick of being the one nagging everyone to watch their language. It is a rock station after all. Soon she’s contributing just as much to the swear jar as everyone else. And she’s happy about it. She finally belongs.
But f&$# is it hard to stop swearing.
I have three children and I usually limit myself to the occasional ‘shit’ here and there but stubbing my toe results in a completely involuntary f&$# and my children have been known to drop a swear-bomb from time to time, usually resulting in me laughing and saying, “How cute, he said ‘ship’ or how cute, he said ‘truck’.”
It’s not good.
There are certain friends who bring out my colourful language more than others. One friend in particular is a mum like me and what we hold back around our children we more than make up for every weekend at work. F that’s great. F that sucks. F I need a coffee. Is it really necessary?
Could I go for an entire day without swearing? I think I’d struggle. I try and cut down and I struggle to do that. I mean, shit, it’s a bad habit and like all bad habits it’s hard to break.
It’s just that swear words are the perfect sound to immediately release emotion, pain, frustration…maybe it’s healthy to drop an f-bomb from time-to-time (and then threaten your kids with death if they ever repeat it).
I am going to try swear-word-replacement-therapy, otherwise known as SWRT (I just made this up). Every word will be replaced just as my mum used to do when I was little.
Jo Abi and one of her gorgeous little ones.
Shit = sugar
F = fudge
Arsehole = idiot
Motherf&$#er = mother
Damn = oh no
Dick = prick
Prick = idiot
Bitch = mole (thanks Puberty Blues)
Bastard = idiot
C&$# = well, this is the one swear word I manage not to use!
I know, should need swear words or replacement swear words at all but Dr Phil always says that to break a bad habit you have to start off replacing it with something. Let’s see how I go.
It’s just not lady-like. Time to clean it up!
I can at least give it a f&$#ing go. I mean shit, it can’t hurt, right?
Jo Abi is the author of the book How to Date a Dad: a dating guide released by Hachette Livre Australia. You can read more about her many and various exploits here.
How much do you swear? Do your kids ever swear?
Comments
43 Comments so far
I have slowly gotten worse in my swearing especially since my partner is an AJ!
But somehow I never ever swear in front of my parents – without even thinking about it! It’s ingrained into me to not swear in front of them or I’ll be getting hot sauce down my throat!
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My grandmother used to throw coffee cups at my uncle (only ten years older than me) if he said “damn” in the house. Consequently, I did not ever swear. As I grew older I refused to swear just because all my friends did. I was contrary like that. I also never tried smoking. And never will. I now am married to a potty mouth, STILL don’t swear and am in fear of my 3yo copying daddy. At least we will know exactly where it will come from. Hmmm…. PS I don’t care if others swear….
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Early on in our relationship my husband made a big effort to cut back his swearing, so I do have evidence its a habit you can break.
However, we have noticed though that he will pick it up after being around swearing for a continuous length of time – such as a boys weekend away – and it takes an equal amount of time to remove the habit.
(subnote: I dont count idiot or bugger as swearing, I’m refering more to f*** and similar).
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We recently had a fault in our car which meant the seatbelt warning sound kept going off. On a lengthy drive my 4 year old kept pulling my hair from the back and I eventually sternly told him to stop it, and that mummy and daddy were talking and he could just wait. He eventually tapped me and in most polite voice said ‘excuse me mummy, sorry for interrupting, but that f****ing noise is going off again.’
I need to review the swear jar option. For myself.
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I think a well placed swear word has much more impact if you don’t swear all the time.
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We learned very early that there was ‘sheep yard language’ and that it was not to be used anywhere but in the sheep yards!
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I don’t think swearing is anything to be proud of.
I think it takes great courage to NOT swear, along with the intelligence to think of a better way to express yourself.
I also think not swearing shows respect for those around us – and am especially annoyed when it is done in front of children.
Ever notice how those same children whose parents swear in front of them, can refrain from also swearing, because they are not allowed to? Well parents should do the same!
P.S. I am proud to say that my 18 and 11 year-old sons do not swear at all, despite most people around them doing so. Impressive young men that they are!
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Exactly, I have two boys (8 and 11) and they do not swear at all. Even when my 11 yr old has been in very stressful situations he doesn’t swear.
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AHH I have 11 and an 8 year boys. They dont swear around us but I have heard them go to town with each other and with friends if they think we are out of ear shot.
As parents we try our best not to swear in front of them and have talked to them about ‘paddock’ language but they will pick it up any way. I guess the best I would hope for is as they mature they learn the right place to use foul language and learn to hold back at times.
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I personally think swearing is unladylike and it really annoys me when someone swears just for the sake of it(hurting yourself then swearing is kind of a reflex – different to intentionally using crass language). Why? Mainly because my mum and grandma always held their heads high and I very very rarely heard them use any words or acted in any way that was unclassy. I link swearing intentionally to being unclassy. Just my opinion.
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You know what? I don’t mind people saying that they swearing is ‘crass’ or ‘unclassy’. But it drives me nuts when people say that women shouldn’t swear because its ‘unladylike’. It’s such an archaic, ridiculous thing to say.
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Why is it ridiculous? Do u think its nice hearing m*****f****r or c**t come out of woman’s mouth? Sorry it is ugly and its silly that you find that ridiculous when its just my opinion.
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But it sounds sooo much better coming out of a male’s mouth? Why turn it into a gender issue?
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Um maybe because the author of this particular topic is a female and so am I and I was giving ny opinion. I obviously didnt receive the memo informing everyone that our opinions had to be all the same. I was replying to this article from a female perspective.
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We have a swear jar and we fill it quite quickly so we donate the proceeds to charity. We’re swearing for the poor kids in Africa. That can be bad can it????
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I use to swear like an absolute trucker, but since i started working with offenders, who also swear like absolute truckers (or, offenders! ha ha), i’ve really toned it down!
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Oh, and I love the C word! Sometimes it’s the only appropriate way to describe someone!
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My partner works in a workplace with primarily men, and they use swear words like they’re nothing: “I need a f*cking drink”, “I’m watching a f*cking good TV show at the moment”, “is it nearly five-f*cking-thirty yet?”. It translates to everyday and it does my head in. He swears LOUDLY too, I don’t think he realises how offensive it can be to someone who really doesn’t want to hear his potty mouth in Coles. To him, it’s just normal everyday talking. And (this sounds terrible) but it sounds worse because he has a bit of a bogan accent.
I swear a lot too but I like to think I am more context-appropriate, and also I think I sound a bit posher.
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I rarely swear and can be quite offended when people swear in front of me or my son.
Sometimes there’s just no need for it. I’m not a prude- I just associate swearing with poor manners.
I also think it’s disgraceful that some parents allow their children to swear. Ask yourself if you would mInd whether your child’s teacher swore in front of your child. If your answer is no then you shouldn’t do it either.
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Edit
I meant if you wouldn’t want your child’s teacher swearing in front of your child then you shouldn’t do it either.
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I have tried to stop the swears. But one that I just can’t stop, and as far as my 3 year old is concerned its the worse word every. Idiot.
I say it ALL the time!!!
He says, from the back seat, coz its usually in the car. Don’t say that Mumma. Cringe
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My 2 year old says “for goodneth thake” all the time, which made me realize how often I stop myself from saying the alternative. My husband is terrible and we do get told off by the kids from Tim to time but they seem to understand that there are words only adults can say. I do remember the time my daughter barely 2 and in the presence of her grandmother, looked in disgust at her rigatoni and said ” mama it’s broken”. When I didn’t respond to the obvious gravity of the situation, she continued “but it’s f@&$ed!” three times to make sure we got the point. Am I a bad mother for secretly feeling a little proud?
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I laughed out loud at your comment! Out loud for goodneth thake!
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I’ve got a mouth like a sewer. Every year my New Years resolution is to stop swearing. The longest I’ve every lasted is 3 hours.
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I swear alot….FFS is my most common phrase, sometimes there is no other word to describe the situation but the F word! But I can switch it completely off when needed…and speak ever so eloquently when required.
I will however never ever say the C word… That is just too disgusting and the word horrifies me!
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I have no problem with the C word. My maiden surname was Hunt, so as you imagine I heard that word a lot. Quite often the phrase “do you have a cousin called mike?” too. So the novelty has well and truly worn off, even though I haven’t worn that surname for years.
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I actually knew a man called Mike Hunt. True story.
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Off topic…I worked at Myer many many years ago and we would often call the switchboard to page ‘Mike Hunt’ to return to the lingerie department!
Couldn’t get away with it now days.
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Mike Hunt sells used cars here in Brisbane!
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I made a comment earlier on this blog which said ‘Jeez, Jo, I thought that you’d take it lite’n'easy’. Since I’ve been deleted every where else that I’ve posted, I’m assuming that you found this crude. I only realised that offensive meaning with hindsight! I was refering to taking it easy regarding the swearing, no more.
For the record, I wouldn’t say anything that crude to a woman. Ever. Now that’s on the record if you could muster a bit of benefit of doubt for the next time, I’d be grateful.
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I don’t monitor or delete comments! Not offended and so funny. My husband explained the double meaning to me. Hilarious.
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Good one, Jo. Let the record also show that I have a mouth like a trucker’s sidekick.
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please tell me, what is the double meaning??? I’ve looked online and all I get is the diet meals. no one can tell me here.
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Jo is all over tv on the lite’n'easy ads, which was my inspiration for the comment. The joke was intended to be ‘Jo, I thought that you’d take life too ‘lite’n'easy’ to need to swear.’
The original read ‘Jeez, Jo, I thought that you’d take it lite’n’easy’. Substitute the word ‘it’ for your favourite word for male genitalia and see how it reads.
Not my intention, but got clued to it when this and 2 other (innocent) comments that I made on other articles were summarily deleted.
Moderators had their minds in the gutter!
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https://www.facebook.com/pages/Intelligent-classy-well-educated-women-who-say-Fck-a-lot/191907457493339?fref=ts
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I love this! I use the SWRT all the time at work. I work in a nursing home, so I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be taken well if I swore. Sometimes it is hard though! Ocassionally I have to backtrack…fuggodssake works well if ur not dropping the f bomb involuntarily!
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I also swear like a trooper, but it’s ALWAYS in the best possible taste…..
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My dad used to say “Gee Willikies” when we little. Now he’s just reverted back to saying shit, now that we are all grown up…
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I am a terrible swearer, but somehow manage not to swear in front of elderly relatives or my boyfriend’s parents, which leads me to think that I can beat my terrible habit! I need some good, fun replacement words I think! Suggestions???
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Jam and Butter and Plaster and Muddy Buckets.
Sounds like….?
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I can swear a lot when I want to but I don’t actually find it very hard to stop when I need to. I’m a teacher and I do not use even the mildest of swear words at work. I was surprised how naturally it came to me to not use them, because I really thought I would run into times where it would be too tempting and I’d slip. But I never, ever have.
Touch wood.
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Same. I can swear like a trooper when I want to, but can switch it off when I need to as well.
When I was at recruit school though, I was picking up the other girls on their swearing. I think they just went overboard because they were allowed to because they were away from home. They just did it too much, and sounded like slappers. There’s an art to swearing well, it’s not just about saying “bad words”!
I also remember reading somewhere that those of us who swear have better stress levels or something because by swearing you’re releasing frustration which is added to if you restrain yourself. Or something like that. Kind of the verbal equivalent of attacking a punching bag to let out your frustrations.
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Ha, I can totally relate! I picked my swearing habit up off my husband. They ARE the perfect words to release pain and frustration, or just make an emotional impression with your point. Honestly, I don’t really feel bad about my swearing habit. Language and culture both change over time and I am quite alright with this part of our culture becoming part of my personality.
My kids also swear, and I really can’t tell them not to do it at home, since we do. However they know they will be in big trouble if they repeat the words in front of other kids, at school or at child care. I don’t particularly want to intrude on others’ parenting by making it seem like it’s okay to swear in all situations.
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