parents

BYO at parties – since when did that mean kids?

Bev* writes…

Last year I had a cocktail party for my birthday at our house. It started at about 8pm and it was clearly stated that it was a “cocktail party”. To my surprise, one couple brought their two kids – 7 and 3 years old. They didn’t look after the kids and just left them to their own devices – which for the 3-year-old meant continuously running towards the hot oven.  While I love these two kids and they are very cute, this just wasn’t the place for them.

This year I’m having a party again and I asked my husband (the guy is his best friend) to ask the couple not to bring their kids – and now they’re not coming to the party at all. They said their grandma wasn’t available to look after the kids that night. This answer was given on the spot and I was surprised that they didn’t even attempt to find another babysitter.

We don’t have kids yet and I really don’t want to judge anyone else’s choices.  So this is the question to all the parents out there – would you bring kids to an evening party? I’ve asked some of my friends who have kids and they said simply “It’s a cocktail party” – in a tone implying “of course not”. They said kids should be in bed by 8pm (their words, not mine!) Another question – does an invitation have to specifically stipulate “no children”? I didn’t think it was necessary – after all, you wouldn’t bring kids to a party at a bar, right?

This has been on my mind a lot and I’d like to hear others’ opinions – I really didn’t want to offend our friends by asking them not to bring their kids.

Could someone suggest a nice way of approaching this?

[Image by pandemia]

UPDATE

I had my party, it was fun, no kids came. We caught up with the family in question for a separate dinner which was great. There are certainly no hard feelings from either side.

I’ve really appreciated everyone’s feedback and suggestions and will do something along the lines of “dust off your dance shoes, hire a babysitter” line that someone suggested.