Let’s talk about boobs. It’s something we do not irregularly around here and that’s OK because there’s a lot to talk about, like here, here and even here. Sometimes I think we have canvassed all the opinions on breastfeeding and then.. then I read an article that shows there are more. Did you read Kim Kardashians rant on Twitter a few days ago about how she was in a restaurant and a woman was breastfeeding ‘without a cover’ and how she thought that was disgusting? Yes, this is the woman who was in a sex video where someone (apparently) weed on her. I’m just saying.
Anyway, breastfeeding is nothing if not a subject that is guaranteed to arouse very passionate feelings. It’s one of those things that nobody seems content to just do. Or not do. Oh no. We have to do (or not do) and then loudly protest about the way everyone else does (or doesn’t do) it. Mamamia reader and contributor Lucy Brook brought my attention to this story and I asked her to write about it. She writes:
“Breastfeeding” and “creepy” are two words generally not found hanging out in sentences together, but hey, until five minutes ago, I thought “fun bags” meant the kind you took home from children’s birthday parties.
After Kim Kardashian’s mindless tweet last week about a breastfeeding mum spoiling her lunch (she later backtracked, tweeting that breastfeeding is “natural” and her sister does it, but “not with her boobs exposed”), a British parenting magazine has published a piece written by its deputy editor describing breastfeeding as “creepy”.
Under the headline “I formula fed. So what?”, Kathryn Blundell says in this month’s Mother & Baby that she bottlefed her child from birth because “I wanted my body back. (And some wine)… I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach.”
She goes on to say: “They’re part of my sexuality, too – not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy.”
She concedes that “there are all the studies that show [breastfeeding] reduces the risk of breast cancer for you, and stomach upsets and allergies for your baby. But even the convenience and supposed health benefits of breast milk couldn’t induce me to stick my nipple in a bawling baby’s mouth.”
She continues: “I don’t think I’m the only one, either – only 52 per cent of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you’ll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and – the drama! – bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn’t be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in a while.”
Boobs are called “fun bags” now? I must have missed the memo.
In response to Kathryn’s piece, Daily Mail columnist Bel Mooney, who describes breastfeeding her first born as “a miserable failure” and was too ill to express for her second who was cooped up in intensive care, says the article raises questions about modern society’s attitudes to femininity and motherhood.
This is an attitude that I can see creeping up in society at large: one in which motherhood is seen as tiresome, inconvenient and intrusive on a woman’s ‘right’ to work hard, play hard and fulfill herself sexually.
Reading Kathryn Blundell’s words, I can’t banish a nightmare vision of a bunch of Stepford Barbies having their designer babies by elective Caesarian then handing the smelly, demanding little bundles of humanity over to strangers to take care of, while they get right back on the pleasure machine known as a lover. Oh, and cracking open the Bolly, of course.
Even if only one young mother gives up on breastfeeding because she agrees with Blundell that it’s far more important to be able to have a glass of wine and keep her sexy figure than pass on immunities to her baby – then the Mother & Baby article will have done harm.
Here is what I think: women have many different feelings about breastfeeding, many different experiences and many different attitudes. I’d love for there to be more tolerance of views expressed. If one woman finds it creepy FOR HERSELF then she should be allowed to say it.
Me? I love it. FOR ME. I’ve had good and lousy experiences with breastfeeding. I’ve felt smug and I’ve felt guilty. But I’ve never felt judged except by myself.
Ok. That’s my view. What’s yours?Can you really only be one or the other – a sex object with perky breasts or a mother with droopy ones? Can you relate to Kathryn Blundell’s piece – would you choose not to breastfeed to preserve your pre-baby breasts? Or do you think her article is just a ploy to reignite the breast vs. bottle battle and drum up media attention for Mother & Baby?







Comments
331 Comments so far
OMG….. can’t really understand what this woman was thinking when it was published in a national magazine. Before my baby was born I said that I would try breastffeeding and if it didn’t work I would use bottles BUT when she arrived and I fed her for the first time I couldn’t think of anything that could bond us more closely!!! My baby girl fed for 15mths and I actually fell pregnant when she was 10 and a half months old, I also went on to feed my baby boy!!! WINE what is that??, as a MUM who really wanted my children I would really prefer to give up things and have a happy healthy contented baby than focus on myself!!! I would still go out with my friends for dinner and not much changed in that way the only difference was that my little girl would tag along everywhere i went. We lived on a farm away from family and all of friends lived about an hour away so what ever I did my children came with me! Including farm work and if they needed a feed we just stopped under a tree and fed anyway!!!
I know that this is just my opinion but I feel very strongly about it!!!!!!!
loading...
i think most of the damage to my breasts was done by pregnancy, not breastfeeding – so not breastfeeding on aesthetic grounds would be like shutting the stable door when the horse has long since bolted. everyone harps on about the sagging, but the crazy shit that happened to my nipples freaked me out more. nobody ever talks about that!!!!!!!
p.s. if you want to get your figure back, breastfeeding helps with weight loss… just sayin’
loading...
My son was born with severe disabilities 33 years ago, and I breastfed him for 3 years, he was just crawling by then. Sure there was no perky breasts left after that, though now, they are a very respectable and non droopy 12D, and I am 63!! Keep fit, choose your genetic line carefully, and all well!
BTW, personally, I loved breast feeding, and if I hear a hungry baby crying, even now, I still get that funny tingle!
loading...
I am not breastfeeding and not even going to try. I have had severe calcium deficiencies for years due to undiagnosed celiac disease, which resulted in 5 root canals, multiple fillings and almost losing my teeth at the age of 22. Breastfeeding leaches calcium from your bones, teeth included, and I’d rather bottle feed than bring on the dentures. If that makes me selfish, so be it. It’s a woman’s choice to do as she wishes with her own body and if that includes not attaching a baby to her nipples because she feels uncomfortable for whatever reason that is her choice. Articles like this just perpetuate the notion that women are nothing more than chattel to be used for reproduction purposes.
loading...
Hmmm….just wondering where the ‘young mother’ bit should come into it. Are young mothers like myself the only ones who are ‘selfish’ enough to give up breastfeeding so we can get boozed and wear low cut tops without a bra? I don’t think so. I can tell you right now that I have heard this story before, a woman giving it up becase she wanted her body back and it didn’t come from another young mum!
I also want to say that you CAN still party and have the occasional glass of wine when breastfeeding, fair enough it has taken me 11 months to be able to leave my daughter with some expressed milk in the care of my mother so I can have the occasional night out but so WHAT? I also had a lovely 11 motnhs staying at home, snuggled up next to my daughter and I loved that to. In short, there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy and go out and have confidene with your body-but you CAN do this and still breastfeed. Breastfeeding is lovely and sexy and all the rest! Saying that breastfeeding mothers have to stay at home and be segregated from the rest of society is an old fashioned attitude. Welcome to the new kind of motherhood-mummas swanning around in cute outfits with a bub strapped to their chest and a lovely glass of bubbly in hand (yes one glass does not hurt). If that’s the way you want to be then go for it! You can make it work and you can have everything and let your hair down every now and then
loading...
Well, I have to be really sorry to agree with them in part after all. I was adamant about breastfeeding my son, so I did, and I got the three hour feedings, and the bloody nipples and then I got left with droopy boobs, and then my man stopped liking a woman who was flabby down there as a deflated football and had two deflated footballs up here, so he left me for an 18 year old. So yeah, if I knew beforehand that all this would end up wrecking my body, most probably I wouldn’t have breastfed.
loading...
Sorry to say this, but your husband was probably always going to leave you for an 18yr old…..
Some men are just like that….
loading...
As women we are much too judgementful of eachother. Weather a woman breastfeeds or not is her choice! It’s sad that as women we have decided to fight over things as foolish as “what makes a loving mother”. If you love your children and raise them to your best ability and without abuse, what does it matter if you formula or breastfed? The child is eating! I did not breast feed my first child because I was unsure and overstressed. She is a healthy and brilliant child who I am incredibly proud of! My second child I did breastfeed. I was more certain of myself and had oodles more patience for the task. He is anequally healthy and brilliant child, who like his sister lightens my days! Is he better in anyway than her, or her than he? No way! This argument is ridiculous!
loading...
Funbags is a creepy word in relation to breasts, it’s so picture magazine
loading...
Breastfeeding actually helps you to get your figure back the feeding makes your uterus contract to return to normal size and it uses so much energy that you burn off whatever you eat in no time at all. I have never looked hotter than when I was breastfeeding – slim with huge boobs.
My mum breastfeed 3 kids and still has amazing boobs at 61. I breastfed for a year as my son had lots of allergies and I wanted to give him the chance to develop as much resistence as possible and my boobs are still great – full and perky. Wear a supportive bra at all times breastfeeding or not that has been fitted properly for you and you will be fine.
loading...
My mum has six kids, and is very vocal on the subject of breastfeeding. /she was once thrown out of a pub/restaurant for breastfeeding when we were living in London. Though I agree it seems the best choice I know breastfeeding is not always possible, and it does worry me that when I have kids (hopefully soonish as i have terrible baby-hunger) the expectations will be that I will breastfeed no matter what. It scares me a little that this is a debate that is women-on-women, it seems like it’s women bashing the way other women cope. Not to excuse the writer of that article who i think trivialized an important topic and seems very detached from any health concerns.
loading...
I find it unusual that she assumes that if you breastfeed, your breasts can’t be sexual too. I breastfed twins for 2 years. Yes, my breasts aren’t what they used to be but they’re not that bad. In sexual scenarios whilst breastfeeding, they had an entirely different feel, sensation, reaction to BF my babies did (ie. the usual sexual sensations!). While I respect her right to voice her own opinion, I certainly don’t respect her attitude. Why even have a baby if their long term health benefits isn’t as important to you as providing solely sexualised ‘funbags’ – for any period of time? Get over it.
loading...
it has been proven that PREGNANCY not breastfeeding “changes” the breasts.
loading...
I am breast feeding my little girl – she is around 3 months now. I don’t “love” it, but I don’t hate it. The though however of using formula and the inconvenience of cleaning bottles, teats, heating it up to the right temperature seems to be more of a drama.
loading...
I noticed the “you might also like” stories are about women who have breast fed “too long” in the opinion of the writer and the commentors generally.
Maybe if all women weren’t so negative of others choices we wouldn’t be worrying about some comment of breastfeeding being creepy. It would just be what it is, a weird comment.
loading...
I find Kathryn Blundell’s attitude towards breastfeeding creepy! Her feelings towards breastfeeding appear selfish. Sorry to be blunt! I can understand why women don’t breastfeed because of medical issues etc but when it comes down to sexuality, i say get over it!! Isn’t your child’s potential health and wellbeing more important than your own boobs? I am not saying formula feeding is wrong. It’s the best option for many women. I just feel frustrated ( as a mum who is breastfeeind a 10 month old baby) that people can be so caught up in the negatives and don’t look at all the benefits that can come from feeding your child from two wobbly bits that hang off your chest and produce free, nutritious milk.
loading...
I don’t understand Kathryn’s attitude to breastfeeding. Sure it can be difficult and painful at times, but it does get easier with time and doesn’t ruin your “fun bags”.
loading...
I agree with Mia, that it’s an individual’s opinion that they may find breastfeeding odd (I don’t like the word creepy). However, people tend to do what they are socialised to do. If there’s not an expectation that people will at least give breastfeeding a go, then they wont. It is work, it takes effort, it can be painful….like most worthwhile things.
I would never condemn someone for bottle feeding. It’s a definite option and babies can and do thrive on it. It will be many years before it can completely rival breastfeeding in benefits to a baby.
This is not intended to be a scold to bottle feeders. Some babies just can’t do it. Some mums just don’t want to and that’s cool.
loading...
I feel sad that someone would term breastfeeding ‘creepy’. I breastfed my son for three months to build his immunity. I couldn’t produce enough milk so he was also on formula. Plus he got teeth at three months, so I stopped. But that’s just me. If you can breastfeed – GREAT. If you can’t breastfeed, that’s fine too. We’re all different. Breastfeeding can be difficult and time-challenging, but the last thing it is is creepy.
loading...
The only permnanet ‘damage’ I have from three kids – two C sections, one vagina-shredding delivery, and a total of 3-4 yrs of my life spent lactating…. is a haemorrhoid
hahaha. Seriously.
My boobs are living marvels…. at various times they were engorged and compressed in cabbage leaves, my nipples cracked and bled, I almost drowned or starved my babies until supply and demand sorted themselves out and dripped milk through breast pads and my best blouses, yet – just like me – to this day they are symbols of everything a woman can be in her life; nuturer, life-giver, seductress, lover… nothing new there.
The article just makes me kind of sad.
loading...
The joke’s on Blundell – according to the medicos, it is pregnancy that alters your breasts, not breastfeeding.
loading...
I can understand (although not approve of) writing a provocative, controversial piece of writing in a magazine. Yes you can argue it is bad publicity but she has her name all over the world now and that of the magazines they obviously believe any publicity is good publicity.
So i get it. Magazine sales are tough these days. But when you are a PARENTING mag and can choose from oh, i don’t know, a zillion different topics to write something headline grabbing about why would you write something that is simply inaccurate?
Not only is she media whoring she’s ill-informed. The former can be excused of her – maybe – journalists jobs are to provoke sometimes. But the latter? You are editor of a pregnancy/parenting magazine and hang your entire provocative piece around a fact that is dead wrong? Why would anyone want to read your magazine when you lack that much credibility – and in the face of so many other topics you could have written about to get your face in the paper.
I don’t think this will turn out like the magazine hoped.
loading...
I find it ironic today that there seems to be a mindset that as long as you’re breastfeeding your baby, you are excused from all other questionable parenting choices. If you dont breastfeed nothing else that you do rates, you are judged as a bad parent because you havent breastfed.
I knew a woman in my mothers group who would go to the shops and leave her baby asleep in the car. She would leave her baby at home alone when she had the mower man mowing the lawn. But of course she was totally dismissive of the risks of this and had herself on a parenting pedestal because she breastfed her baby. And she would look down at others who didnt breastfeed their children. Yet theirs were never left alone in a car, or home alone with a gardener while their mums went shopping.
loading...
Umm .. so this story about your MG woman is bizarre. But I’m not sure it’s typical. I’ve never experienced judgement on my parenting skills being related to whether or not I was breastfeeding, and it’s not what this article’s about, IMO. Breastfeed, don’t, whatever, but don’t be an editor of a parenting magazine and slag off breastfeeding as creepy.
loading...
this is kateaswell, not sure why it is anonymous
loading...
I think she was being honest and I dont have a problem with it. I’m all for women being open and honest about their parenting experiences, and I think thats what she was trying to do. We’re all not cut from the same mould and everyone has a different experience with conception, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, parenting. But I can see how some could find breastfeeding being called creepy offensive. However, being editor of a parenting magazine doesnt make her a parenting expert, just another mum doing her best. I think she was doing her readers a service by showing a different point of view.
loading...
is that true about the pregnancy vs breastfeeding thing?
loading...
Yes, very basically it is the hormones and changes of pregnancy that change your breasts – not breastfeeding. Age and gravity also take a toll – then they change shape again and become fuller/fatter at change of life. My breasts get fuller or saggier depending on my weight changes.
loading...
Everything about life…from conception of a child, to having 10 fingers and toes to life giving in and leaving this planet is predefined (by whom and whatever you believe)…if you weren’t supposed to breastfeed then why does a mothers breasts produce milk??
Granted there are medical reasons why breastfeeding is not possible, and medications that mothers have to take which interfers with the quality of breast milk, but to those who simply don’t breastfeed because they don’t WANT to, especially those who want to maintain their pre-breastfeeding breasts..wake up and smell the roses!!
Just because we live in such a manufactured world with ‘perfect’ body images and breasts put in our faces everyday doesn’t mean you throw away what nature intended for us. You just had a child, a baby, a little miracle…put the child first and do what comes natural..after all that’s what the milk is there for!
loading...
When breast feeding is good, it’s very very good and when it’s bad, it’s horrid. I’ve got two little ones and have now done both breast only and bottle only. They both have their challenges. As I read only yesterday, the decision YOU make is the RIGHT one. For first time mums-ignore all good-willing advisors and repeat the above mantra over and over again. As for me, I’m about to have another bub. Breast or Bottle? Who knows?? But one thing I know for certain is that I will love my happy, healthy baby regardless of how I choose to feed them.
loading...
Its totally personal whether you breast feed or chose not to. Everyone’s situation is unique. After two children I no longer recognize my chest. They were so full and round and now…… not so much. I am considering a little surgical help to be perky again. Do I miss my chest…..yes. Can I do something about it……yes. Big hug to all the Mums out there. Nothing is quite the same following child birth. Be proud, look what you brought into the world. A beautiful little human being.
loading...
I don’t think I will personally breastfeed, but not because I don’t want to, I do.
I have bipolar disorder, and I know that it will be best for my baby if I go off my medication for the duration of my pregnancy (I take lithium, as well as 2 other medications which aren’t recommended for pregnancy).
For my own well being, after 9 months (possibly longer) of being off my medication, it would probably not be in my best interests to continue not to take them just so I could breastfeed. It’s unfortunate that the trade-off wouldn’t be worth it, because I’d love to do it, but for my own sanity it just isn’t an option.
I don’t think women should be judged or forced to hide away their breastfeeding – and while I personally think it’s better for the child to be breastfed, every woman is different and has different circumstances, and the right to make the choice as to what’s best for her. Even if it’s just because she wants to have a glass of wine.
loading...
This is exactly my reason too.
loading...
I’m getting a little tired of the whole judgement thing on breastfeeding.
If you want to and can do it, then go ahead.
If you don’t want to/can’t, then don’t.
Simple.
loading...
This is really interesting and upsetting – the author is insinuating that mothers who breastfeed are going to end up with ruined breasts and therefore be less attractive to the opposite sex. Have any of you found this to be true??
I am a first time mum and I’m still breastfeeding my 19 month old daughter. I’m also single. I honestly did not plan to feed her for this long but I’ve ended up loving it. To be honest I think I still feed out of habit and laziness.. I found breastfeeding to be one of the hardest skills I’ve ever had to learn so when I had eventually got the hang of it I did not want to stop. I hope it doesn’t come across as creepy! I don’t really care what people think, but I do get alot of comments from friends who think I’m going to be breastfeeding until she’s 8 years old (definitely not my plan). I would like to start weaning her soon, preferably by the time she’s two.
But every time I read articles like this I become really scared of what my breasts will look like after I stop feeding.. Is a post-breastfeeding body really such a disaster? I’ve never been massively attached to how my breasts look but I’m now worried I’ll have a complex about them and what future boyfriends might think of them..
loading...
A post breastfeeding body is not a disaster. I haven’t found much change in my breasts at all after finishing breastfeeding.
The only part of my body I’m having difficulty reconciling myself to post pregnancy is the bloody varicose veins I developed! Otherwise it’s all good!
loading...
Thanks Sara, that makes me feel much better
x
loading...
I’m currently breastfeeding my third and am loving it. I had no difficulty with my 1st but had a horrendous time with no 2. I persisted through 5 months of agony and thankfully my damaged nipple healed and I ended up weaning her at 22 months. No 3 was an agonising 8 weeks before things settled. For me, it has been the most difficult thing I have ever done and there were many times I wanted to give up but somehow I found an inner strength to keep going. My boobs are definitely heading south but I don’t care as I will forever be proud of what my boobs and I achieved. And my jelly belly too…
loading...
Amen to that!
loading...
i loved breastfeeding my son, because i had had an easy pregnancy and birth was a breeze. i didn’t let my daughter near any of my breasts, because i suffered a lot during pregnancy, birth was like hell but worse, and by the end of it i had no patience left on the subject of sharing my body and putting it through pain for someone else’s benefit. but for my son i did it, and i did so openly , in the parc, in the bus, in the restaurant and wherever my son asked for it, until he was about 6 months old. i don’t feel like arguing about this over the internet, i don’t think any mother who breastfeeds is in need of help to find punchy lines to shut the idiots up, being all hormonal and all i think it would come naturally. but i know i wouldn’t shut up if i witnessed anyone being rude to a breastfeeding mother. i would open my mouth and let my voice be heard. even if it ends up in a pro/con breastfeeding brawl in the restaurant….
loading...
i loved breastfeeding once it was established, it took about 6 weeks to get there, but i thought it was worth it. there was suffering along the way but i was determined to breastfeed. that is my personal opinion, and if people ask me i talk to them honestly about it, the good and the bad.
sure my boobs are not what they used to be. do i care? sometimes. would i do anything differently if i had my time over? absolutely not. sacrifice is what being a mother is ALL about.
the issue i have with this woman is not that she chooses to formula feed, that is a personal decision. but that she thinks of herself first, i don’t think that is a good way to start your parenting life…..surely it can only lead to major disappointment!
loading...
Ahem, men pee with their joysticks.
So I guess having sex with one must feel awfully creepy to Ms Blundell…
loading...
hysterical! great comment
loading...
I love this comment…..it just puts everything in perspective
loading...
Here goes: I didn’t enjoy breastfeeding and sometimes I did find it creepy especially as she got older. My husband also found it a bit creepy as our daughter got older. To have my child pulling, pinching and stretching my boobs just didn’t feel good and even after she settled down to feed properly I couldn’t wait until she finished.
I didn’t feel the extra love or the bonding while I was breastfeeding. I found it awkward, uncomfortable and sometimes really bloody untimely to get my boobs out. I was self conscious and couldn’t wait to stop. I fed for 13 months before I could get my daughter off me and onto a cup with regularity. I love my daughter and she loves me. Every day we sit down after breakfast for up to an hour, her in my lap for a cuddle. We do the same thing every night just before bed. She pats her little lounge and waits for me to sit down before she climbs onto my lap.
We didn’t need breastfeeding to bond, we just needed love.
loading...
‘Fun bags’…hmmm….never heard this term used by a woman before. Unless she was quoting a drunken bloke. Eek.
loading...
I just tried to read some of the comments – but I got annoyed very quickly and stopped. There is alot of judgement going on here about women who don’t / can’t breastfeed vs those who breastfeed and this is what it always turns into, which is so dissappointing. I would have though the key issue is that your baby is fed and growing and healthy. It is as annoying as the natural birth vs caeser discussion. A whole world of smugness and judgement happening there too. As mothers I would love if we could just support each others choices and feel good about our own choices.
loading...
Why is this discussion even happening? Isn’t it what is best for mum and bub? Who the hell cares what her reasons are for not breastfeeding. Does it really make a difference? And to all those who are saying,but she’s an editor of a parenting mag, Yes she is and lots of those mothers do not breastfeed, for a nunber of reasons. Some MAY find it creepy, some may not be able to, some due to lifestyle, the list can go on and on. It is refreshing to see a difference to I breastfeed for six months. The fact is she is letting women..mothers know that we all have our weird and ultimately out OWN reasons for feeding our baby the way we choose. YES, Yes, breast is best, but come on, breastfeeding is what?? one, two ( sometimes more) out a child’s entire life!! There are so many other important issues out there! WHO THE HELL CARES!! She is not abusing her child. There are real issues out there, Pretty sure this is not one of them.
Also, this post after yesterday’s mothers guilt?????
loading...
I haven’t had a chance to read everyone else’s posts, but I feel I need to blow a misconception out of the water if it hasn’t been already.. so here it is…..Breastfeeding is NOT the thing that changes your breast shape..BEING PREGNANT IS!! The chemicals that are released into your body while you are pregnant to allow the muscles to stretch around bub are the culprits. Whether you breast feed or not – your boobs are going to change anyway. So this ridiculous notion of not breastfeeding ’cause you want ‘perky’ boobs is a crock.
loading...
Oh…and another thing..ok…well… two other things…breastfeeding boobs look awesome, you can always tell..and I find the words ‘breastfeeding’ and ‘creepy’ in a sentence together is creepy..
loading...
Honestly, what a debacle. Not much ‘editing’ was being done by that Deputy Editor!
It’s also another sad example of how we are living in an increasingly messed-up, judgemental world that is fast becoming defined by extremes.
I wasn’t breastfed. Mind you, I didn’t crawl either! (Shuffled instead). Yet I’m perfectly healthy, intelligent enough…and yes, I can hold a pen properly! It’s great when someone is banging on about breastfed babies being more intelligent and I can say, ‘Well I wasn’t breastfed’. The silence is deafening.
That said, I breastfed my two boys for eight months. It was hard at times but mostly a lovely experience and one that made the late nigh waking more bearable. Sadly, the minute I weaned the boys slept through the night for some reason
I probably also felt I should do it because I could – maybe because my mum couldn’t? A psychoanalyst would have a field day with that one
It’s such a personal journey, no matter how long it lasts. And really, let’s be honest – happy mum, happy baby. If we can come out the other side with happy, healthy children, and we are okay too, then it doesn’t really matter whether breastmilk or formula gets us there.
loading...
I hate people going on about women breast feeding for extended years. I weaned at 8 months with both kids( they quit me). But I hate the snippy comments about 2 year olds etc. who cares? they are happy and no one gets hurt. The whole sexual aspect people put on it I find offensive.
loading...
One of my favourite side effects of motherhood is the pride and respect I gained for my body – not for what it looks like but for what it did. It grew my two beautiful babes and fed them solely for the first 6 months of their lives…i watched them grow and thrive and develop purely from my milk. Amazing. And because they went from strength to strength breastfeeding, I didn’t feel I was missing out on anything (such as drinking alcohol).
I guess you could say motherhood has given me some perspective on what’s important to me. My (stretchmarked & rather wobbly) belly is viewed as the place I grew my babies, and my (slightly less perky & somewhat shrunken) breasts are revered as the vessels which nurtured them. And lets not even talk about what my poor old vagina went through!!
I love my body now, in a way I never did before. Parenthood isn’t all beer & skittles, but this new found self appreciation is definately one of the gifts it’s given me.
loading...
Well said simplething. I feel the same way. I have a whole new respect for the female body after having babies.
loading...
Women need three things to breasfeed successfully…
1. A baby and breast to go together and learn together…new mums have never breastfeed before and neither have babies.
2. Support and encouragement from their partner and families to breastfeed.
3. Acknowledgment and nuture from their society/community to breastfeed.
Breast is best….
loading...
The only thing that irks me is when my friends say they ‘tried it’ – one for about 4 hours, one from baby’s birth at 4pm til next morning, another few for 2 days etc and it was too hard.
Yes i breastfed 2 children (for 10 months and 7 months) and NO it wasn’t easy. I’d have easily given up within the first week if I didn’t have perseverance. and determination There were lots of tears, and lots of blood. But when it all settled down I wouldn’t change it for the world (or the opportunity to have a few wines).
And like another comment on here – I got teary and clucky again when watching Packed to the Rafters/Ruby.
loading...
But .. why does it irk you that they gave it up? Even if they didn’t try it at all – does it matter? Perhaps it’s not a matter of “perserverance and determination”.
loading...
it irks me too
because it’s not authentic?
if you try for 2 days and then choose not to. well that means you CHOOSE not to. and you should feel comfortable saying “i’ve chosen not to breast feed” (open/honest) rather then “ohhhhh i tried it”.
Weeks trying and other body troubles are are different story. “my body chose not to” (open/honest).
it irks me in the sense that i don’t feel like i can have an open and honest conversation with that person. because she is trying to save face. and at the same time it feels (as a breast feeding mother) that you aren’t giving enough credit to breast feeding by talking about it like something that can be shrugged off. then my brain follows the garden path of ‘we have such different beliefs, values, etc etc’
that’s my honest explaination of why it “irks” me
loading...
Wouldn’t it be awful to judge a woman for not trying hard enough to have a natural birth – for not doing it with enough perserverance and determination? Is judging breast feeding in this manner any less harsh?
loading...
its none of your business…there are things you do with your kids that they most liklely dont approve of too
loading...
I am a mother of twins whom were born 5 weeks early, they were in the special care nursury for the first few days until my milk came in & they were getting tube feeds. In this nursery was another child born 3 weeks early who was refusing to breast feed, the mother was trying everything, nipple covers, syringe a little in then try to stick in the nipple all of it because she was just so determined to breastfeed.
When my milk came in my twins started feedinglike troopers, i felt sooooo guilty that they & I did it so easy. It took a week of this woman trying before she finally accepted that the baby wasnt going to take it, even afetr the nurses had been telling her this for some time.
In the end you need to do what is best for you, your sanity & the baby, this woman was driving herself nuts being all consumed about trying to feed…
I struggled for the first 6 weeks, i bottle fed expressed milk, but this was like feeding tiwce..for TWINS i say! So this didnt last long, I was just about to give up when i thought it was so much easier to breastfeed with twins you could never be sure when ach was going to be hungry, imagine double the bottle, double the formula & i was too stressed listening to one cry whislt they waited there turn for the bottle.
At least with breastfeeding, i coudl ‘twin’ feed. Best thing ever in the end, fed them till they were 8 month old & proud as i am a believer that the milk is the best thing for them if you can possibly do it, but i do accept that this is not always possible.
As for my breasts, well after feeding twins for 8 months, my breasts are fine, i didnt get sretch marks ith the pregnancy, my boob returned to ‘normal’ size, not immedatiely, they were a little flat at first, but by the time the kiddies were 2 they were ‘normal’ pre preg size.
If you are that worried about how your body is going to look after a baby, you bum, belly & hips & in my case back suffer much more than your boobs for gods sake.
loading...
How did you go breastfeeding your twins? My nephews were the same – 5 weeks early and in the NICU. My sister is a midwife, and she persevered with the breastfeeding. She was super diligent. She used to sit on the lounge with the boys on pillows holding them like footys, one on each boob. They would be on the same boob for a week, then change sides, because apparently their eyes would have been weak had they not had the change. Not sure what Mum did with my brother and sister though – know she used to take me back to bed with her for feeds.
loading...
I agree that the decision to breastfeed is each woman’s own to make, and she should not be judged for it or feel the need to justify herself to others. I hope that Kathryn Blundell’s article serves to reassure the women who have chosen to bottle feed for similar reasons that they’re not alone, while not deterring anyone who wanted and planned to breasfeed from doing so.
I personally love breastfeeding. It took my now 10-months old son a week or so to figure out how to do it, but since he got the hang of it we never looked back. Apart from missing sleep, I used to enjoy the act of sitting quietly with him at 3 in the morning while he fed; it was a quiet reflective time for us both.
My breasts may come off second-best from the ordeal, but apart from a stretchmark or two, I doubt they will look substantially different. The rest of my body is not ‘flawless’ (normal mostly) so my normal ‘breastfed’ breasts will match it quite nicely.
loading...
Despite having breastfed my daughter until she was 17 months old and loving (almost) every moment of it, I have many friends who chose not to. Their reasons were many and varied – having to return to work quickly after birth; inadequate supply; inverted nipples and the rest. But not one of them ever said it was because they found the idea ‘creepy’.
I have to say that, in this regard, I feel sorry for the author – not because she didn’t breastfeed but because nothing about your own child should ever feel creepy!
loading...
I’m sorry, I breastfed 2 children for a total of 3 years and my breasts are not hanging around my belly and are still very sexy (or so my lover says)
women……get over it, for millennia they have been objects of desire by both offspring and lovers
loading...
I have to say, I loved it. I mean really loved it. I sat staring at her at 2 am often crying because of how beautiful it was to be there holding her and feeding her in the midnight hours. But at around six months I supplemented with formula as well. I was a single mum, getting a bit tired and exhausted and found that if I topped her up with formula at around 11 we could both sleep through til 6 or 7. Made the world of difference to me at the time.
I have only had one child, and yes I was a young mum. but I don’t think BF did much damage to my boobs. They are still semi perky, but a big bigger then they were before….
really, it is such a short time in both your lives.
loading...
oh,you’ve made me all wistful & maybe a tiny bit clucky…
loading...
I breastfed both of my babies until they were around 12 mounths of age. Yes there were ups and downs in the beginning. Engorged breasts, bloody nipples, leaking etc. But I loved feeding them, it was such a bonding experience and it became so easy. I felt motherly, I felt I was doing the best thing for my babies.
It’s just how I feel about. I guess I can’t understand how sometimes peoples views can be so judgemental towards a mother breastfeeding her baby in public. She is giving her baby nourishment (as nature intended) just as we eat in public. I feel annoyed when people suggest breastfeeding a baby in toilets, I don’t know anyone who would eat a meal in a public bathroom.
loading...
I’m currently fully (and proudly) breastfeeding Baby 2 about 8 to 10 times a day, so I feel rather compelled to comment on this one. I also fully breastfed Miss 3 for a year, which I loved and was quite passionate about.
Upon reading this post, what I really don’t understand is WHY is it seen to be so hard to forgo the sexual nature of breasts for a while? Is it really a biggie? There are lots of other parts of my body that can be sexually useful (and ‘fun!’), so what if the breasts are out of bounds for a while? Sheesh.
Sure, not drinking and smoking when BFing can be hard too. But breast really IS best – it’s not a myth. Artificial milk (which is what formula is) can never replicate breastmilk, try as it might. So with that in mind, I never really understand why some mums (who have the capacity to do so) don’t give it a shot? I know a handful of mums recently who have chosen not to breastfeed from day 1. Is a beer, the fags or are those ‘funbags’ THAT important that you’re willing to forgo what is the very best thing for your child and their immunity?
Parenthood is ultimately about SOME level of sacrifice. You don’t need to be a matyr, but SOME aspects about your life BK (before kids) DO need to change. It’s part and parcel of having kids.
There’s also something so utterly beautiful about feeding my baby at 2am while the world’s asleep, and feeling my naturally warm milk flowing down into his belly. Seeing him grow and knowing that my body did all the hard work. I feel bad for mums that don’t breastfeed, for whatever reason, because you miss out on that.
loading...
I believe in choice – but for an editor of a parenting magazine to write untruths (breastfeeding does not alter breasts, hormones, pregnancy, weight gain and subsequent weight loss after pregnancy alters breast tissue) is unethical.
I wonder how PR is handling this issue? Have the Australian Breastfeeding Association made a statement?
I breastfed for 18 months, and my breasts have never looked better, even after loosing 33 kilo’s after the birth. It is my bum and thighs that have drooped, and my stomach still has that extra stretchy bit of skin
It is no wonder that with such misinformation women choose not to breastfeed or not to continue for a prolonged period. Quite sad really, as a community we need to support women’s choices whatever they be.
loading...
Is that true about pregnancy altering breasts rather than feeding? That’s really interesting if so. I have friends who’ve given up early for “cosmetic” reasons and my sister in law had a baby in France and said there was a LOT of social pressure there to not do it after 2-3 months for the sake of your breasts. Personally, I breastfed my first for 19 months and am still going with the second who is 11 months so I’m really hoping that what you say is true
! Still, even if I’m tucking my boobs into my socks it will still have been worth it for me, I love it.
loading...
My understanding is that most of the damage is done within the first three months of pregnancy, not from breastfeeding. After feeding 2 kids for 1 year each my boobs are softer now but just as perky as the were before. Also the softness makes for pain-free breast self exams.
loading...
My children are grown up now (22 and 20), so it is some time since I have done this, but I remember breastfeeding as a lovely bonding time. My children were also much healthier than many of their peers and didn’t have the same little illnesses at day care as their friends who were bottle-fed. I didn’t really have any problems, and I had a lot of support, particularly from my mother, so perhaps that is why I have such fond memories of it. I also remember that it really helped me to get my figure back – it was a fabulous fat burner! My breasts seem pretty unaffected by it all (in fact, my partner still says they are “magnificent”). Yes, they are affected by the fact I am in my late 40s, but then, again, so is everything else
loading...
After living and working in the UK for 4 years, I found the above attitute to be common amongst British women. They have a very low rate of breastfeeding over there, sadly. I struggled through breastfeeding both my beautiful babies- attachment difficulties, bleeding nipples, and eventually low supply leading to weaning after the 10 month mark. Yes, they now hang a bit lower, yes, they aren’t what they used to be, but I am so proud of my breasts and the fact that they have done their job feeding my beautiful healthy boys, giving them the best start in life, and protecting my body. I think our society is too image conscious and not health conscious enough!
PS Well done Mia for discussing breastfeeding so openly on your website and in your book- I think talking about this topic normalises it- bring back the sisterhood- women helping women!
loading...
What a shame we can’t just be sexy breast feeding mums. Why do we have to choose between the Madonna and the whore? We are all a bit of both, and therefore should judge neither.
loading...
Another thing to add to the list of why I hate Kim Karsdashian.
loading...
Umm its called implants.
If you want the best of both worlds you can have it. I don’t have children, but one day when I do I can imagine loving the most natural task a women could probably ever perform and then once Im done…. a bit of nip and tuck wont hurt.
loading...
You can pay for it with all the money you saved on formula!!
loading...
Thats right!!! haa
loading...
Yes, they are called fun-bags. Boobs are there solely for the pleasure of men & women who like women. They dont really have much to do with providing nourishment for babies – this was just an optional extra. It’s kind of selfish to breastfeed especially if it means the boob becomes saggy and covered with stretchmarks. It’s like asking a kid to share their favourite toy. Apparently.
You’d be suprised how many people really have these thoughts!!!!
I find it weird that people find it disgusting and off-putting. I breastfed both my boys, each for 12 months. My friends gave me so much shit about it. Firstly for breastfeeding at all, secondly for the length of time I did it for. I didn’t give them shit for bottle feeding, so why were they so fussed about my choices. And as far as the babies were concerned I’m pretty sure they were happy with a full tummy, no matter what method was used to fill the tummy.
For me it’s simple. If you dont want to breastfeed, dont. If you do, do. At some stage everyone’s boobs are going to sag. Breastfeeder or not. If you dont like this idea, call your friendly surgeon. And for the guys – your “bits” are going to shrivel up one day too, like it or not. It’s called ageing, and it happens to all of us.
loading...
whoah anna b i was shocked there for a minute!!!!!
very well said!
loading...