My boyfriend is about to become a guardian of a 16-year-old, and change all of our lives permanently.
I am 23 years old, my partner is 29, and in a few weeks, he will take full guardianship of a 16-year-old.
He’s known that boy, that teenager, for years, taking him for a couple of hours every week to help support him and his family. Now Adam* needs somewhere to live full time, and my boyfriend is going to provide that for him.
I will not, however.
My boyfriend will move out of our home, move interstate, move into the suburbs, and change his, Adam’s, and my life permanently.
Related: I worry my sister is a little bit too in love with this baby
Despite this enormous decision, I was in no way surprised. When my boyfriend told me calmly about his plan on a warm Spring night last year, I inhaled and nodded slowly. I had seen this coming.
My boyfriend and his family are the most kind, altruistic and noble people I know. In many ways, I could’ve predicted something like this happening one day. This kindness is, after all, a huge reason as to why I’m with him.
Those around me didn’t predict this however. They had questions. Lots and lots of questions, most of which I couldn’t answer. Many of which I wanted to know the answer to as well.
So as my boyfriend transitions to become Adam’s full-time guardian, I asked him everything the people around me wanted to know.
I asked him if he was nervous. He told me that although he had some nerves, he wouldn’t have said yes to doing this without knowing he could. That having the support of his family, his friends, and me helped to relieve his nerves and give him confidence.
I asked him if he saw himself as a parent, or a brother to Adam. He said neither, before saying a combination of the two. This kind of relationship is uncharted territory for him as much as it is for me.