by REBECCA SPARROW
That’s the question, I’m asking.
Does baby formula need to be under lock and key in hospitals in order to encourage new mothers to breastfeed their babies rather than relying on baby formula?
I don’t know what you think but I can tell you what New York’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg thinks. He thinks ‘yes’. Which is why next month the city is implementing a program that aggressively promotes breastfeeding to new mothers in the city’s hospitals by locking up the baby formula …
Lawyer and writer Jacoba Urist wrote about it for The Wall Street Journal blogs:
Formula – locked for whose protection?
Starting September 3rd, under the “Latch on NYC” initiative , the City will monitor the number of formula bottles hospitals use, by keeping them in the same kind of lock-boxes they use to store medications.
So far, 27 of the New York’s 40 hospitals have signed on, agreeing to toss out formula-branded items like lanyards and mugs and to document a medical reason for every bottle a newborn receives— treating formula like a prescription drug.
With each formula bottle a mother requests, she’ll get a lactation lecture about why she should use breast milk instead.
NYU Medical’s spokesperson told The New York Post that they’ve already adopted the program. The Post reports that NYU’s breastfeeding rate has jumped from 39 to 68 percent of new mothers since they implemented it.
I’m all for women breastfeeding if they want to (as I did). The health benefits of breast milk are persuasive. We should support mothers who choose to breastfeed with things like greater social acceptability and public lactation rooms.
But Bloomberg’s program forces women to defend a valid request for baby formula. It preys on women in the days (sometimes hours) after they deliver a baby.
If I, a fairly confident, opinionated lawyer, had trouble standing up to the breast-feeding brigade at the hospital, before the Bloomberg lockdown, I can only imagine what New York moms face today. Or come September.
To say that Urist’s words ring true for me in an understatement. Earlier this year I gave birth to my son Fin in a Baby Friendly Health Initiatives accredited hospital — a global initiative that is strikingly similar to the one Urist describes above.
Bec with Fin
Not that I should really even need to tell you this but Fin was premature. My milk took a loooong time to come in. And my son was losing weight. So my pediatrician instructed that he go on formula for ‘top up’ feeds. An issue that clearly didn’t sit well with some of the midwives.
Several of them – not all but more than one – made me feel like a negligent mother for giving my baby formula.
I’m a forty-year-old woman who is hardly a wall flower. And yet three days after giving birth, I just stood there and allowed myself to be berated by a midwife at the ward’s front desk – in front of several people – for ‘not trying hard enough’ to breastfeed. She publicly reprimanded me for not expressing milk every two hours throughout the night. I had tried but frankly I was EXHAUSTED. Actually exhausted doesn’t even convey how I felt. I’d been sleeping an average of two hours per night in the lead up to Fin’s birth. I was mentally fried by the time I reached hospital. Regardless, this midwife castigated me. I went back to my room and sobbed.
Worse was the loudly unspoken message that what I was doing — giving my son some formula – was ‘disappointing’. Even irresponsible. It, at times, felt like blatant bullying at a period in my life when I was at my most fragile.
It was the facial expressions certain midwives made when I asked for the formula. It was the ever conflicting advice on how best to feed the formula to him. (Every midwife had a different opinion: Syringe! Teat! Dropper! I found myself getting anxious whenever there was a change in shift). It was the way in which I was gravely presented with forms to sign when I requested the formula for Fin which reinforced the notion that what I was doing was detrimental to his well-being. It was being made aware that there needed to be two staff to ‘witness’ the formula being ‘signed out’ of the cupboard. All strategies, if we’re going to be completely honest, designed to make mothers who choose formula to feel awkward. Uncomfortable. Guilty. These initiatives seem hell-bent on communicating to formula-feeding mothers that their choice is the wrong one. And believe me, I got that message loud and clear.
That’s why, I truly believe the pendulum has swung too far. I’m all for breastfeeding. I so, so am. I breastfed my daughter Ava for 12 months and only weaned her because I was rather desperate (read: obsessed) with getting pregnant again. I loved breastfeeding. I loved how good it was for Ava. I loved the convenience. I loved the intimacy of it. I loved the fact there was no washing up to do afterwards (always a bonus). I planned to do the exact same thing with Fin. But as we all know… life doesn’t always go to plan.
That’s why I genuinely fear these initiatives are not about hosptials having a pro-breastfeeding stance but an aggressive anti-formula feeding one. And there’s a big difference. And I’m not convinced it’s playing fair.
By all means educate mothers about the myriad benefits of breastfeeding. Give them access to lactation consultants round the clock. Provide a supportive, nurturing environment for breastfeeding. Offer tips and advice about how to tackle obstacles along the way like mastitis. Low supply. Expressing. Yes, yes to all that. But once a mother knows all the facts and she still chooses not to breastfeed (or to combine breast and formula feeding) for whatever reason … her choice needs to be respected. Not tolerated through gritted teeth and rolled eyes.
I mean, come on. Formula being LOCKED UP? In case – what? – a breastfeeding mother goes rogue one night and attempts to formula feed her baby without permission.
Remind me again why she needs permission? Remind me again why it’s any of the hospital’s business?
I know that breastmilk is far, far superior but it’s baby formula, people. Not crystal meth.
I’m not writing this post to stir up trouble. To get hits. To generate argy-bargy. I’m just someone who has experienced the negative aspect of these ‘breastfeeding initiatives’ firsthand. And I know for sure I’m not alone.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying that ‘Latch on NYC’ or the BFHI initiatives are a bad idea. Not at all. I fully support programs designed to actively encourage breastfeeding. I’m just saying, really loudly: Could we just lose the attitude that seems to go along with it? And is it really necessary to behave as though feeding a baby formula is akin to child abuse? For every mother who is won over to breastfeeding, I suspect there’s another who leaves hospital feeling like she’s already failed for not doing so.
Ultimately, the best mother is a happy mother. However her baby is fed. I hope you’re listening, New York.
Mia feeding Fin
Publisher’s note from Mia Freedman: To preemptively answer some of the comments I know will arise from Bec’s post, I wanted to provide some background. The impetus for this story came from a tweet by 7:30 journalist Leigh Sales who linked to the story about the New York agreement and expressed her surprise that such a thing was happening.
Having been with Bec in hospital when she experienced the incidents she wrote about, I witnessed it first hand and asked if she’d like to write about her view.
It’s worth noting that Leigh Sales, Bec and myself all breastfed our babies. I tell you this to deflect any accusations of myself or Mamamia being anti-breastfeeding. We are patently not and have published pro-breastfeeding articles on the site many many times including this wonderful one from Tara Moss, UNICEF Patron for Breastfeeding for the Baby Friendly Health Initiative (BFHI).<
I have personally written many positive articles about breastfeeding (that could even be described as ‘stridently positive’) including this one, and this one. And in the hospital that day when Bec was in tears, I was giving her gentle, loving advice on how to increase her milk supply because I knew how committed she was to breastfeeding.
So, health professionals and breastfeeding advocates by all means encourage women to breastfeed if it’s the best thing for them and their baby and they want to do it. But treating them like criminals and treating formula like some illegal drug is both uneccessary and insulting. It’s awful for vulnerable new mothers and it gives a bad name to the vast majority of midwives who aren’t so hardline.
In honour of World Breastfeeding Week which ended yesterday, our sister site iVillage published a gallery of celebrities and iVillage readers breastfeeding their babies.We strongly suggest you click through the images here. They will warm your heart.
How can we encourage women to breastfeed, without demonising those who don’t want to or are unable to?
Comments
488 Comments so far
I remember being in hospital 2 days after an emergency csection with our first child. My nipples were raw and every time I put my daughter to my breast I would be in tears of pain. Bloody midwife wouldn’t get me a nipple shield, I had to wait until my husband brought one in for me. Told me I needed to toughen the nipples up. Wtf! I was so close to grabbing a bottle there and then. On a positive note, the pain from my boobs totally over rode the surgery pain lol
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I don’t think any mother makes this decision lightly. It is simply an agonising decision.I don’t know of any one mother who intentionally chose formula over breast feeding. Any decision a mother makes that affects their child is carefully made. A hospital has no business making this decision nor a judgement
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You are so right, every mother makes (well apart from druggies and the small percentage of people who neglect their children) a decision that they believe is BEST for their child. Other people have no right to an opinion, and particularly no right to push their views on others! And I certainly don’t believe it the right if a government to make the decisions for mothers. Education is the best way to get information out there, not shaming people into doing it their way!
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I did everything possible to breastfeed, including going to day clinics, engaging 3 different lactation consultants and persisting with a screaming baby who was severely dehydrated and losing too much weight. I just felt like the biggest failure before I’d really even had a chance to be a mum.
I ended up expressing all my baby’s feeds for the 1st 6 months and weaned at 9 months. I sometimes feel sad that we never worked out the breastfeeding but I feel even more upset when I think of the hours I spent every day attached to a pump rather than cuddling her because I didn’t want anyone to think I didn’t try hard enough to breastfeed.
I’ll try again with my next baby but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll use formula and be content in the fact that there is more than just one way to express my love for my baby. A happy mum is also a wonderful gift to provide a baby.
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I am due in 10 weeks and will not be breast feeding – personal choice. I am absolutely dreading the reactions of the midwives after my previous experience with baby #1. It’s my main fear and worry – isn’t that crazy?? I’ll be packing bottles and formula and the works.
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Could I make a suggestion? Write something to put into your hospital file saying that you’ve made a conscious and informed choice not to breastfeed and that you’re bringing your own formula into the hospital and are well versed on how to sterilise bottles. That should hopefully cut through some of the stuff that you’re hoping to avoid. You might still be asked why you’re not breastfeeding out of curiousity, but with something on file you may well avoid the judgey-ness.
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I also made this choice with my partner after many months of discussion about what would be right for us.
I told my midwife well before the birth and explained my reasons. She was fine. The Dr was fine and we were all happy. I wrote this in my birth plan, made sure everyone knew my wishes ahead of time so their was no bitchy moments.
Im so glad for the decision I made and for the support I got, until the bf lady came to see me. I dont know if she is a ABA rep aor a nurse at the hospital but anyway… she came to see me even though i had requested her not to bother.
Well she was livid with me. So nasty and rude. She seethed through her teeth that I must be an ignorant person and that this was an awful start to motherhood and she didnt expect me to get any better at it. You give that disgusting stuff to your baby and he will be sick all the time, dumber than all the other kids and he will have zero connection to you.
Don’t let the hate get to you. For all I know her dog may have died that day?
I have a healthy 2 year old. Hes tall and fit, has only been sick once in his life and is very smart if i do say so myself (im not the only one who thinks so).
Do what is right in your heart and it will work out.
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It has been so reassuring to hear from other mothers (including Bec) who experienced low milk supply following the births of their babies. My baby was born five weeks early and I had every intention of fully breastfeeding her. I was in hospital seven days and when I left, my milk had still not come in and my baby had been treated for jaundice. After a week in hospital, I was beside myself. I was sleep deprived, I had a regime to follow which required three-hourly feeds, breastfeeding followed by top-ups with formula followed by expressing; and on arriving home, I didn’t even have a bottle or any formula – I was totally unprepared for what had happened. In hospital, I was labelled ‘the IVF mum’ (as if this explained my lack of milk) or it was suggested my age might be a factor (41 at the time). When I challenged these suggestions and asked for scientific evidence, I was told there wasn’t any and there observations were anecdotally based. At home I engaged a lactation consultant to help me, followed the breastfeeding/top-up regime, expressed after most feeds (the most milk I ever got in one session was 20ml), used a supply line, arranged donor milk supply from a friend, took 9 Motillium/day along with Fenugreek … but my milk supply could not keep up with my baby’s needs. The guilt I felt and continue to feel – and the sense of failure – has been profound. Both my sisters fully breastfed six children between them. One sister is a midwife. I had worked so hard to get this baby (15 rounds of fertility treatment) only to find I couldn’t do what seemed like the most fundmental thing a mother should do – feed my baby! After four months, my baby lost interest in the breast and she was fully fed on formula. She is now 10 months old and thriving, but over the past six months, I have continued to look into what happened to me as no medical professional (Obstetrician, Pediatrician, GP, midwives, lactation consultant, fertility doctor) is able to explain why this happened. I would like to get pregnant again and dread it happening again, yet I don’t know how to avoid it as I don’t know what else I could have done. Yet, there seems to be a reluctance in the medical profession to acknowledge that some women just don’t have enough milk; and there also seems a lack of interest in understanding why. My doctors just couldn’t understand or empathise with my distress at being unable to fully breastfeed and nor did they seem interested in looking into it further. The only person who is still out there seeking answers, apart from me, is the lactation consultant who has been a God-send. Thank you Bec for sharing your story. I didn’t feel so alone after reading it.
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Monique, that is awful that you had such a hard time at hospital. I really hope you get the answers you are looking for. People can be so rude about older mums. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think your age has anything to do with it, I have been able to successful breastfeed both my babies at age 40+. I did have a bit of trouble with the first one, but a lot of people do. Lactation consultants in my experience are the best. Good luck for the next one x
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I hope that you get the answers you’re looking for Monique. What an incredibly stressful time.
Without trying to sound patronising, you were bloody persistent and probably kept going when others would have pulled the plug (or boob!) long before and used formula. Please don’t beat yourself up.
I know this will sound simplistic but honestly, if you look at all the school aged children you know, can you tell if they were breast or bottle fed?
It matters to you very much now, but all the wonderful and happy moments you have coming with your baby in the future will ease that pain and guilt.
Hang in there and enjoy your little miracle.
As a mum your age, but with older kids, know how much I admire you for going through everything you obviously have to get your beautiful baby.
CONGRATULATIONS!
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Your story sounds very similar to my experience with my first child. She was born at 36 weeks and had a lot of trouble breastfeeding, which I think was the main thing that affected my milk supply. I pumped at first but never had huge success, but I kept being guilted into it. I put her onto formula at 10 weeks and never looked back, she’s a healthy happy 10 year old now. My next 2 children were born at 38 weeks and then 41 weeks and had no trouble at all breastfeeding them
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monique, i could have written your post, you have my sympathies
at age 28 I had zero milk supply with my first boy (was more of less ‘threatened’ into taking motillium and fenugreek by a sydney north shore midwife) and the fear of his not thriving was something I will never forget. He is now an athletic cheerful and confident 5 yr old
with dd, my second child, again I had milk supply problems, and ended up weaning her at 4mths onto mashed avo and formula. She is now a very gifted and talented 3 yr old (if I do say so myself!!!)
I took major PND due in major part to the comments of midwives etc at the time when I wanted so badly my body to do naturally what I just assumed it would do
I wanted my babies to thrive with my milk
but it was not to be
just wanted you to know you are not alone
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I breast fed both my children for 22 and 15 months respectively. My milk didn’t arrive until day six both times. First baby was in special care and I was very ill, so she was given formula until we were both up to breastfeeding. Wasn’t a big deal. Second baby nearly starved. He cried and cried, while I begged nurses for a bottle. Eventually he got one and was full and quiet. Once my milk arrived we were happy. Must say my kids are now 5 and 8 and you really can’t pick out the breastfed babies! If boob or bottle works for you, go for it. They turn out the same.
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I did everything possible to breastfeed, including going to day clinics, engaging 3 different lactation consultants and persisting with a screaming baby who was severely dehydrated and losing too much weight. I just felt like the biggest failure before I’d really even had a chance to be a mum. I ended up expressing all my baby’s feeds for the 1st 6 months and weaned at 9 months.
I sometimes feel sad that we never worked out the breastfeeding but I feel even more upset when I think of the hours I spent every day attached to a pump rather than cuddling her because I didn’t want anyone to think I didn’t try hard enough to breastfeed.
I’ll try again with my next baby but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll use formula and be content in the fact that there is more than just one way to express my love for my baby. Being happy is also a wonderful gift to provide to a child!
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I can’t believe this! I am currently studying toward RN and this is the exact attitude or lecturers are teaching us NOT to have! In no way are we ever encouraged to bully or pressure or shame a patient…. this bully culture needs shifting!
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It’s interesting to hear that. A friend is in final year of midwifery and doubts my tales of bullying and general nastiness…. It seems the staff on the recovery ward have totally different views…
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I went to King Edward Memorial hospital (maternity) two days ago in the emergency dept due to bad migraine/illness from my meds(epileptic ) while in the ward I am confronted with not one but six posters about breast feeding and how it’s better etc. this made me feel terrible and already judged with number two baby before he is born. I will not be breast feeding due to my meds. society is teaching everyone to judge bottle feeding mothers. I would get looks in public places too with my first son and have to explain myself when taking my first child to the doctors etc.
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Ok first the usual disclaimer – I have breastfed my three children. Having said that I am absolutely convinced that the benefits of breastmilk have been grossly exaggerated.
I urge all women who have struggled with breastfeeding and are feeling guilty about it to look at the studies done by Joan Wolf as well as conclusions made by Michael Kramer (leading health expert with WHO – conducted the biggest study to date on BF). According to these excellent reports the benefits are minimal – ie in the western world breastfeeding may equate to one less trip to the DRs a year for a baby.
I was absolutely gobsmacked when I started researching and couldn’t believe the guilt placed on women over something which has such minimal benefits. I continued to BF because it was easier and cheaper than bottles, however, now that I am going back to work I am starting to wean. I feel absolutely no guilt whatsover – just relief – if I hadn’t really looked into it I would have believed all the propaganda and would probably this very minute be wasting my time expressing milk!!!
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It makes me SO SO SO mad that your experience was as described above Bec. SO MAD.
Like Mia and Bec, I will preface my POV by saying “I’m a breast feeder! A proud, happy, breast feeder”. It just worked for me. It came easily and naturally. I had an ABUNDANCE of milk and it just was not a big deal. II did it for 6 and 10 months for my daughter and son respectively.
Had it NOT worked for me, had I not had enough milk, had my kids been preemie, had I been too exhausted to do it, had I NOT WANTED to for whatever reason, then I wouldn’t have. EVEN THOUGH I AM A FIRM BELIEVER (excuse caps) that breast is better etc, I just really think with this issue it’s a woman’s choice and a Mum knows what the RIGHT thing to do for HER and HER child is.
As Mia said, EDUCATE but (as I say) let Mum decide IN PEACE and with RESPECT.
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Absolutely agree with this article. I breastfed my first for 20mths, and when my large son was born he was ravenous for that milk and sucked almost non-stop for 48 hrs until it did. I was absolutely exhausted! Then an absolute angel came in to me in the evening, she was Eastern European with a very thick accent, and soooo gentle and caring, and offered to take my son to the nursery for a couple of hours to allow me a chance to sleep, and if it was OK with me, she could give my son a bottle of formula and do I have a dummy to give him if he was unsettled? I said sure. And I got about 5 hrs sleep; oh bliss. I was scared off by the notion of formula top-ups and dummies the first time round but this time it was a god-send. When the same pattern of almost constant feeding occurred the next day, i asked an aussie nurse for a top-up feed for him and I was met with solemnity and some obtuse resistance. I felt like I should have been wearing a badge about my own pro-breastfeeding stance and previous experience! Annoying.
Anyway, I left boxes of chocolates for all the labour ward staff and midwifery nurses to share but bought one deluxe box for the European angel who was soooo gorgeously supportive (and awesome with my son as well).
And let me tell you, they talk about ‘sucky’ infants and my son was one. The dummy was an absolute godsend for the first 3 mths and then, at 3.5 mths he literally spat the dummy and it was a no-go from then on. But geeze it was helpful in those early months!
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I could not agree more with what Bloomberg is doing. Being a mother is not always easy. I breastfed both my children and had challenges feeding both of them but I worked very hard to overcome those challenges so that my children would benefit. That is part of what being a mother is about – sacrifice and giving even when it’s hard. And sometimes it’s really hard. The benefits of breastfeeding are worth it. If formula was even a close second to breastfeeding then it would be fine to say to women – give up when it’s hard but formula is such a poor substitute to breastfeeding that it’s worth a bit of encouragement – even pressure from professionals like midwives to get women into the mindset that breastfeeding should not be given up lightly. Sadly top up feeding with formula has also been proved to undermine some of the benefits of breastfeeding which would explain the disappointment of the midwives attending to the writer. In a perfect world no one would struggle with breastfeeding or any other matter but life is sadly not always easy. We’ve all just become used to the idea that it should be. No health care professional should sugar coat something as serious as an infant not reciving the optimal nutrition. It’s a serious matter when the food that a child recieves as an infant can have lifelong consequences. If the writer said to the midwife that she wanted to feed her baby nothing but candy bars then she would expect some disapproval. If something is not good for a child then mothers should be informed about that and strongly encouraged to provide what is needed. There are many times in life when we dont feel good or we have been tested or stressed – having a baby is one of those times but that doesnt mean that we should not strive to do what is best.
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Please supply some research that backs up your claim that feeding a baby formula leads to lifelong negative consequences ….
(And for the record, midwives are NOT paediatricians. If a paed recommends something, I’d be inclined to take their advice)
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How dare you compare formula feeding to feeding a newborn candy bars. Attitudes like yours contributes to the huge amount of pressure and guilt new mums feel when they are trying to feed.
A good midwife will look at all elements that need to be taken into consideration when encouraging a new mum with feeding her baby. Creating guilt and further stress around feeding will not help a mums mental state. As I mentioned below I have sat through many, many focus groups of new mums discussing how they feel about the feeding choices for their newborns. These decisions are not usually made lightly and they are often left with a huge sense of guilt and failure.
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Actually, in the US, the top selling formula contains high fructose corn syrup, which IS, indeed, like a candy bar
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…we are in Australia, it is not relevant to us what formula in America contains!
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Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Please please please read the following links carefully – not only is there no evidence that formula leads to “lifelong negative consequences” there is well researched and well argued evidence that the benefits of Breastfeeding have been hugely overstated!
http://www.babble.com/baby/baby-feeding-nutrition/benefits-of-breastfeeding-baby-formula-feeding/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1200943/So-breast-NOT-best-Expert-claims-benefits-breastfeeding-hugely-exaggerated.html
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The daily mail and .com referenced are not suitable forms of research.
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Michael Kramer conducted largest study to date on BF -he is a leading paediatrician for WHO and his findings have been in many different forms of media – including well respected medical journals as well as more “prestigious” papers such as the SMH as well as the ABC. Joan Wolf is a leading academic and author incredibly well respected – it has been argued that she has done the most exhaustive research into breast vs formula to date. She has written a detailed book about her findings. The daily mail and .com are just quoting kramer and Wolf ‘s findings – which as mentioned above can be accessed and verified in many different ways.
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Ava,
Do your research: http://stats.org/stories/breast_feed_nyt_jun_20_06.htm
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Ava, your holier-than-thou attitude is EXACTLY what mums who are having trouble with their newborns feeding DO NOT need to hear. It contributes to their low feelings of self-worth, depression, anxiety and stress, all of which DO NOT help bring milk in or feed and settle a baby.
Tell me this? If you had the choice between your baby starving (really) and feeding them formula, what would you do?
I presume, whatever was best for your baby, like all mothers. That was my choice. My son is now thirteen, healthy, smart and happy.
Get over yourself.
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Ava you need to be careful riding that horse – it’s a long way to fall.
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Yes you are right, you are so much better a mother than any of those formula feeding mothers! They took the easy road, you worked so hard clap clap! They didn’t care at all about whether their baby was healthy, they just wanted to pop it out and not try after that. You must love your kids so much more than they do, as quite obviously you are far superior having put in the hard yards. I mean what kind of mother would choose to poison their baby with a food, that in your opinion equivalent to “candy”, over letting them starve to death? Some people should be ashamed of themselves!
Are you even aware of the hundreds of different reasons women may “choose” to formula feed? Oh that’s right, you wouldn’t care because you are right and there is no need to consider why any other mother is entitled to do what she might think is right!!!
Yours sincerely, a formula feeding mum who had their first child die during childbirth (and took tablets to dry up milk to save herself the trauma of her milk coming through) and her next child was born premature and in NICU on life support for 2 weeks and “chose” to feed formula as she got mastitis and could not cope with everything on her plate. Just for the record, that premature baby is now a very healthy 2 year old who has barely had a cold from the day she left hospital!
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Actually everyone I know who has breasted their kids has really sickly kids who always get colds and have some sort of bug. But every kid I know was fed formula is as healthy as a horse. Not saying formula is better than breast by any means but I hate how people can’t just acknowledge it is the next best thing and in the end is not as harmful as these radicals try to make out!
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PMSL! I was going to respond, but guest… you have said it all! amazing response to a disgracefully smug and self absorbed post!! LOVE it!!!
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Oh Ava. I was bottle fed from birth. I’m trying very very hard to think of the negative life long concequences this has had for me? I’ve never had a serious illness. Or a not-serious illness for that matter. I’m tall and slim. I’m pretty bright- I have two university degrees. I have a great relationship with my parents- even my Mum who bottle fed me. I have a beautiful healthy baby boy. He is also bottle fed. I worked very, very hard to sacrafice and give for six weeks, before “giving up lightly” as you say. I ALWAYS strive to do what’s best in my life. Which is why I swapped to formula, it became what was best for my baby and for me.
I feel very sad that there are so many narrow minded cold hearted judgmental women like you in the world.
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all I can say is thank god for early release from hospital!
Having had all the nightmar-ish breastfeeding-only midwifery with our first child – exactly as Bec describes it – we got exactly the same with the second (different hospital, different mid-wives, unfortunately same lack of compassion, understanding or care).
At least they were keen to get us out quickly so two days later we were able to top up at home without worrying about the disapproving looks and small minded-ness that seemed unable to accept that some women legitimately can’t breastfeed. As if you would go through all the disapproval and outright bullying if you could actually do it??!! I still feel so angry to think how awful they made my partner feel – simply for the fact that her body was unable to produce enough milk. As though she was doing it on purpose just to spite them.
As for the comment below about there being “bad apples” in any profession – true, but usually you hope that there are more good than bad. From our experience (2 hospitals, maybe 10 different midwives) the good:bad ratio was 1:9. I know its not an exhaustive sample but it seems to chime with a lot of the other comments here.
I get the whole breast is best thing – and in general I support it – but when it’s not possible and the choice is feed or don’t – then why stick to a principle that ends up harming everyone
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I have to agree. I was in for 5 days and did not get one ‘bottle sympathizer’
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Seriously! Yes breast is best but when you have tried and tried and to the point of virtually killing yourself to breastfeed and being miserable about it there is no point. Most important advice my wonderful aclaimed ob said was most important thing is to be a happy mum and enjoy your time with your child! So baby number 2 wasnt breastfeed and i have loved every single second with him (4mths old now). Am so greatfulni didnt breastfeed this time around as i barely remember th efirst few months of my daughters life as i had to pump for weeks to increase my milk supply and cope with a baby that just wasnt putting on weight. Yet she thrived on formula! We need more education and more support for those mothers that want to but are finding it difficult! Not 200 an hour lactation consultants that not everyone can afford especially now that families switch to one income! If breastfeeding was a mans job there would be more help offered! Like drive through breast feeding clinics!
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I’m normally the bastion of reasonableness but this issue gets me reallllly riled.
Six years ago I spent two weeks with my sister in the first two weeks of my nephews life. Same story as many below, 20% below birth weight at 2 weeks, screaming, she is feeding every 2 age but he is too distressed to participate. Then he STOPS screaming. Because he has become so malnourished he is lethargic and wont cry or eat anything. The nurse is still coming every day and I ended up having a stand up argument with her in the front yard that clearly this is not right. She is reeling off statistics about stupid children and life long illness. My sister, her partner and I got the formula that night and she never looked back.
Fast forward two years and having the same statistics reeled off at me by fascist midwives except that woman who argued a couple of years ago had evaporated. I have a six week old below birth weight (which even by ABA and other hard core organisations is not acceptable). I’m feeding at every opportunity, taking motilium, eating the cookies, drinkign the fenugreek, laying in bed for days. I couldn’t stand the idea of this perfect creature having that evil formula. I was eventually told they’d report me to child welfare if she didn’t start putting on weight!!! So I started topping up with formula – in private (whip the boobs out anywhere but way to embarrassed to top up in public). For a whole year I kept up the pumping – so for a year I got up every two hours at night when she started sleeping through and expressed. I could make lactation cookies in my sleep. I took motilium. I drank fenugreek. I did it all for a year. And I topped up in private to the end, such was my shame and embarassment.
This time around keeping up such a regime with two was impossible and I had to stop at six months. It breaks my heart. Because I love feeding. And because despite knowing that formula fed kids turn out fine, I feel like I’ve failed him.
I never had the hospital issue because I left on day 7 without my milk coming in. That’s right. Both my poor kids screamed from day 2 until 10 when my milk came in and were getting smaller and smaller. In hindsight the hospital should have been pretty worried about that – not where the formula is kept!
Putting formula under lock and key in a hospital adds to the most appalling judgement of new mothers. I would never have thought myself so susceptible to propaganda. I would never thought a public health message could attack my confidence the way the breastfeeding brigade has.
Midwives and lactation consultants need sensitivity training. The also need to have an ‘out clause’ for people trying their guts out for months on end and it not working.
Hospitals need to realise its my body and my baby and my choice. I’ve known many who refuse pain meds post a section and hospital staff say nothing despite knowing it extends and inhibits the recovery. Of all the things for the system to spend so much money and resources on in such a judgemental way when there are babies and small children who desperately need proper intervention for real problems.
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Like x 1000.
Similar thing happened to me. Still can’t believe the lack of knowledge in most midwives I met on this subject. Astounding. Can’t believe they thought it was OK to put my first born through that either (not to mention me)
Second baby much better experience. I knew my milk wouldn’t completely come in for 6 weeks – yes, 6 long weeks. Baby number 2 was so much happier as I knew to ignore the midwives. I just wish I had even known this was a possibility the first time around. Clearly I placed way too much trust in the professionals who were supposed to be helping me and my baby. It took a while to work out that what they were saying was not appropriate in my situation. So disappointing and unnecessary. Not to mention distressing.
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It’s not always possible to breastfeed. While I had just been through IVF, doctors found 2 lumps in my neck, which I required radiation treatment for. If I didn’t get pregnant, I would have had it then. But as it was, I did get pregnant. They were going to do surgery at 28 weeks to remove them, as they were getting bigger, but decided against it and I would start radiation after the baby was born. I started radiation when my son was 5 weeks old. You cannot breastfeed while undergoing radiation or chemotherapy for that matter, as it is passed through breastmilk. Surely, it is better for me to feed my baby formula and my son to have a mother who lives past the first year. One of my friends got harassed by a lady in the supermarket for buying her baby formula, and wanted to know why she wasn’t breastfeeding her baby!! Lucky for her, she didn’t say it to me………………..
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I have a six week old an am still experiencing a mountain of trouble feeding. Our pediatrician ordered us to get formula as my son went below the 10% weight loss threshold. I was devastated and felt a deep sense of failure. My midwife told me, ‘your friends will admit to you in ten years that they too had to do this.’
There is a lot of shame around this topic. I find myself giving lengthy explanations to people when they simply enquire, ‘so, are you breastfeeding?’ What a loaded question!
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Sorry to hear this
Please look into a Lactation Consultant if possible, they are sometimes a bit gung ho, but can at least give you some very helpful advice and tips, take what you want to try, leave what you don’t.
And trust me, your baby needs you, loves you, and regardless of how you feed him/her, you are doing a great job! You got your baby here, safe and sound, and you are doing what you need to do, to keep bub healthy and happy. Good luck
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You are doing a great job Mixed Feeding.
(and I returned to work this week and have been asked a dozen times if I’m breastfeeding. In meetings. people have no boundaries)
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What a great article Bec, I second every single word you wrote!!!
Until I got to the end of the article. Because it saddens me that Mamamia has developed to a forum where writers have to not once but three times justify their opinion as well as explain every single reason and background for it. And THEN Mia has to back it up as well.
I totally understand why this has become necessary, commenters have really been pushing the nastiness lately, but it’s such a sad turn of events that leaves a really well written post with a very clunky ending.
In answer to the question posted, I think articles exactly like this one is what new and expecting mums need to read. To help them understand ‘It’s OK’.
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Thanks dkmum – Bec and I wanted to be at pains (literally) to explain our position because we have been slammed in the past. I’m pretty used to it but I am very very protective of Bec and she was nervous.
I agree it was clunky!!!!!
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I’ve recently had my first baby and am lucky enough to have had no issues with breast feeding so far. I have friends who like me planned to breast feed, but the milk never arrived. No amount of expressing, drugs, consultations or advice made the milk come in. These new mums were vulnerable enough – they didn’t need to be made feel guilty for formula feeding, but they were. And the midwives that made them feel like this should be ashamed. I have found as I’ve talked to other mums that the conflicting advice on anything to do with babies by midwives at hospitals / birthing centers is one of the hardest thing to deal with as a new mum. One told me I wasn’t feeding lOng enough. AnOther said I was too long. One told me to burp him. Another told me to stop burping him as wind was a made up western term. I was tired, emotional and vulnerable and the midwives made it so much worse with their conflcting advice. I nOw have a beautiful, thriving little boy, and I know not to bother asking any midwife for advice. I ask my closest mother friends.
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Totally agree. Take advise from your sisters/Mum/closest trusted friends. They “get” you, and the way that might work best for you.
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I have 4 children. My eldest had no breast milk as i was 17 when i had her and was considering adopting her out and the hospital botle fed her from birth ( i was allowed to bottle feed her and subsequently kept her) my second child was born 11 years later and at 4.2 kgs was a hungry little boy. The hospital flat out refused to let me supplement with formula and after 3 days, he was in the nicu with dehydration and possible kidney damage. My new baby had nurses attempting to draw blood from veins in his temple. My milk came through on day 4 and he recovered ( and also pee’d in the eye of one of the midwives who stood between me and the formula in the nursery with her arms held out refusing to allow me access to the formula). Ths was at a public hospital. I went on to successfully breastfeed for 3 months but his appetite way surpassed supply so we moved on to formula.Baby number 3 was born at a private hospital where i stipulated from when i booked in that i wanted access to formula
if required but i intended fully to breastfeed. 1 week after birth, it became clear that this would not be possible. He was happily and healthily bottle fed from then on. Baby number 4 was born and i happilyand easily breastfed him for 10 months. No formula in sight. Each baby is different, each circumstance is different. No one has the right to ever push their personal views on anyone especially when the new mother is so,so vulnerable, tired, in pain and trying to adjust to this new existence. Of my four children, all are healthy, happy and have good eating habits. None are overweight, immunity challenged or have suffered any detrimental effects of their Formula filled infancy. Breastfeeding is great if you can do it, but if it isnt working, why add more stress to an already challenging period in the life of ne mums by inflicting guilt and feelings of inadequacy and failure for not breadtfeeding? Crazy, crazy stuff.
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I feel terrible for all the well meaning midwives reading these comments. Yes it’s true that during a hospital stay different midwives offer different solutions to the breastfeeding challenges you may face. Personally I was damn grateful for the different perspectives. I took something from each and was able to overcome my difficulties. I am very grateful for the efforts of these wonderful women during my stay. If any midwives from mater Brisbane are reading, thank you!
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I’m not from Mater in Brisbane, but thanks for saying that anyway!
I said a little earlier that midwives aren’t intending to confuse women or give conflicting advice, but there are so many different ways to breastfeed that it would be doing women a disservice to show them only one. Really pleased to hear that your experience with the midwices was positive and helpful.
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I had wonderful midwives at the Brisbane Mater too! After I did so much research into breastfeeding issues (and read many many stories like the ones that are shared here) I was really afraid of what would happen to me, that I would be told so many things I would never get it right. However all the midwives (except one) were utterly, astoundingly amazing and I also appreciated their differences in personality and approach. I even wrote to the hospital to commend them, and sent them all a christmas card!
The crap midwife, who stood out like a sore thumb, was the one who yelled at my husband for ‘having a crying baby in the corridor’ and then told him ‘give that baby some formula to make him quiet’. Er, okay.
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Nikki,
I also had some wonderful midwives. The majority – as I said above in the post – are superb. I hope they are able to put pressure on those who push bf at all costs to rethink their position…
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Making women stressed about it only inhibits good intentions to breast feed. Stress decreases milk supply so nurture and support people!
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I always believed that formula is locked up because it’s expensive and people try to steal it.
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Good point
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This is also a factor. People try to take all sorts of sh*t from hospitals. A colleague of mine saw someone trying to flog off an antenatal Doppler machine (to hear the baby’s heartbeat) at a local market and it had the hospital’s name still on it. Needless to say, she took it off him in a huff and brought it back to work.
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The hospital I was at had some formula made up available in the fridge but the cans were out of sight. Seems like a good compromise to me.
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A friend of mine had a similar experience with severe mastitis and bleeding nipples which made it SO uncomfortable for her to feed that it became a chore the hospital she was at made her feel like a bad mother which didn’t help with her post natal depression. Luckily in the end all was well and she was able to BF her baby as she needed but found that she wasn’t able to leave the house alone for more than a few hours as she needed to feed. Even after expressing her breast milk into a bottle get baby couldn’t get use to the plastic teat and would reject the milk and she would have to rush home to a stressed husband and baby!! This made it hard for her husband to connect with the baby as she had to do all the feeds. As her baby got older it took forever to ween him off her breast milk (she tried from when he was about 12 months old) as he had never had formula before and didn’t like the taste. She says she will be feeding her next baby breast milk and formula to stop these problems from occurring.
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A couple of things leapt out at me in your post that I want to comment on:
There are plenty of ways for fathers to bond with their babies that don’t involve feeding them a bottle!
A 12 month old baby does not need to be weaned off breastmilk and onto formula. At this age babies can have cows milk.
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“A 12 month old baby does not need to be weaned off breastmilk and onto formula. At this age babies can have cows milk.”
I’m curious about this – WHO recommends breastfeeding for two years and beyond – I’m all for women doing what works for them, but if you’re weaning at 12 months, wouldn’t that recommendation suggest that the baby still needs the specific nutrients, whether from breastmilk, or from formula that’s the next closest thing? The nutrients in cow’s milk are quite different, and designed for baby cows, not baby humans.
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I called Tresillian about this because I thought I’d need to send formula to daycare with KDot when she started at about 10 months, and I was told by others as well that she would be fine to just have water during the day and cow’s milk if she took to it, and just breastfeed at night. She has heaps of yoghurt at daycare but hasn’t really taken to milk with gusto, so just has yoghurt, cheese and water.
As far as I can gather, it’s mostly about hydration, getting fats and calcium.
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But that was with her still getting breastmilk at night…
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Yeah, but because she had been eating a wide variety of solids (cheese and yoghurt included) it was good that I was still breastfeeding, but not necessary for her. The breastfeeding just means I don’t have to worry so much about getting more serves of dairy into her, because she gets it from me.
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A toddler is assumed to be on a varied diet which incorporates a wide variety of vitamins and minerals. Such a diet will replace the nutrients in formula and cows milk simply provides part of the nutrients. That’s why toddler formula is not necessary for the average child.
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Actually, I’m more interested to see the sort of comments that will slag off at midwives, yet again.
Yes, there’s crap midwives that can be nazis about breastfeeding, I get it. There’s also crap doctors, crap accountants, crap mechanics, crap lawyers, crap carpenters, etc.
For every professional that’s over zealous and “crap”, there’s several that are good at their job and care about it.
I don’t know about other states, but in Queensland maternity public hospitals, we don’t stock formula for well, term babies. Parents are expected to bring in formula if they wish to feed their baby with it. Special care and intensive care nurseries will stock it, but we are not allowed to reccommend one formula over another. You just get what’s available.
There are a lot of other “rules” that need to be met to gain baby friendly hospital accreditation and with our abysmal rates for breastfeeding, I guess we do need encouragement.
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Yeah, same here, Faybian. I nearly blew a gasket at work today when I read Lee’s comments about midwives. Clearly I wasn’t the only person who found them offensive (and wildly inaccurate). They’re closer to the start of the comments if you’re feeling calm. Can’t be responded to any more though, it seems.
Was waiting for your response to this post!
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Yes, I’m always getting up on my high horse. I’m so predictable. Sigh,
Honestly, having been a maternity patient myself, I do get what a lot of mothers are saying and also have found some midwives less than helpful and because of this I (and others I know) try very hard not to be judgemental. Ultimately, not everyone is going to like you or what you have to say though.
It can be hard to have the confidence of your convictions and new motherhood is a particularly vulnerable time. I would hope that people realise that the best thing is to listen to what is said and use what works for you.
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Oh, no no, that’s not what I was implying! You always say insightful things about midwifery that I agree with (being a midwife myself) and I was looking forward to seing you say something well balanced that made me feel better after reading so many people’s bad experiences with midwives.
Sorry if I got the tone wrong!
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No you got it right, irony is very hard to convey on the net. Maybe I should have added smileys like this
…..
I have also been know to climb up on a soapbox now and then…. My husband thinks its very amusing to wind me up and watch.
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Oh bloody hell, I’m useless today!
My ex-boyfriend used to do the same thing (wind me up and just watch me go just for laughs!).
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Hah, you’re not the only one.
People actually think I’m I’ll if I’m not arking up.
I will make sure I get a dig in at my husband too though.
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Just saw Lee’s comments.
Words fail.
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Oh come on, there are lots of words!
There’s &T#^%, #^&%*& and my favourite $*!>&*.
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Sadly, she’s not the only one…..
What would I know though, I’m apparently too stupid to do medicine.
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I think you’ll find it’s your inferiority complex getting in the way. That was the problem with me…
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LoL, that’s gotta be it.
God I feel bitchy now…
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zepgirl and Faybian – For what it’s worth, I just read Lee’s ridiculous, ignorant comments, and could not disagree more. I have the highest respect for midwives – I think you perform one of the most important jobs out there, and I have always had extremely positive experiences with the midwifery care I’ve received during my pregnancies and after the births of my children. I hope you both know that there are many people out there who have enormous respect for the work you do.
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Thank you very much for saying that!
It all sounds really negative from what I’ve read today, but I know how much more you tend to remember the bad things rather than the good things that happen, so I’m not taking it too personally. It’s like I remember the doctors I’ve worked with who said / did terrible things much more clearly than the ones who were great, the latter of whom were in the majority.
But thanks again for saying it, speaking for myself, it means a lot.
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Agree. I think midwives are amazing.
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At the end of the day, a mother and her partner should do what they feel is best for them and their baby. we know breastmilk is better then formula. But formula is quite good and it’s better then nothing!
I was not breastfed, neither were my brother and sister. My sister is a vet, my brother is a doctor and I work at a university doing research. We all turned out fine so I wouldn’t be too concerned about the dreaded formula.
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I just wanted to ask if people could please avoid using the term ‘breastfeeding Nazis’. I think it’s really unnecessary and offensive to throw around the Nazi term in this way. Whatever else they may be, those who are perceived as being ‘aggressive’ proponents of breastfeeding are not the equivalent of Nazis.
(And please, I don’t need to be told that I should ‘lighten up’).
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Yeah, I asked for the same thing at the start. But the Nazi comparisons just kept on coming…
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Sorry zepgirl, I didn’t see that – I only read half way down the most recent comments…
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Personally, I think the people who are most judgmental of mothers are other mothers themselves! Formula fed/breastfed, it shouldn’t matter what a woman decides to do, she should just be left alone. I’ve been feeding my baby formula from the bottle since she was born – my husband can help with feeds, her grandparents can babysit her and give her a bottle, we’re all happy. I don’t think that makes me a bad mother. I didn’t have any problems or issues, I just didn’t want to breastfeed.
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It shouldn’t matter to you Melsa though.
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I’m so tired of reading about yet another person who thinks they have to right to dictate how a woman/family should raise their baby! Formula is a choice, everyone is week aware of the positives to breast milk but sometimes it’s simply not possible. My mother couldn’t breastfeed me or my siblings (serious complications during birth and then a C section) she was simply too unwell for long periods Nd then on top had PND. She just couldn’t do it. no one has the right to take away the opportunity to give formula.
If Michael Bloomberg gives birth to a child, then he has every right to choose breast milk. until then, it’s none of his business.
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I was recently in Tanzania and I loved that the mums just took our their breast and feed their babies – no hang ups and no one looks sideways. I think judgement from others is also a factor is some mums choosing to feed formula. I am not talking about mums trying and trying – I mean choosing to feed from day dot.
I struggled for sure, but I used nipple shields and they were amazing – without those I would have stopped due to all the PAIN! They do not tell you how much it can hurt even if baby is attached correctly!
I got about 10 different opinions in hospital. One nurse tried to put him on formula after 1 day before my milk was in. When I asked for help – the midwife would grab my boob REALLY hard and put my baby on. Not even look at me. There are a lot of really bad healthcare workers – in my experience they were midwifes in a private maternity hospital!
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So what does everyone think about this?
http://mobile.news.com.au/business/companies/nestle-nan-ha-1-gold-baby-formula-making-children-sick/story-fnda1bsz-1226445965641
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What do I think about the article? I think that possibly, those particular babies had a reaction to that particular formula.
There are loads of formulas on the market though. Not all of them are going to make all babies sick.
I have a friend who’s breastmilk made 3 of her 6 kids really ill. Clearly in her case, her breastmilk made some of her kids unwell. But not all.
Same same but different.
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I dont really think its the same at all… such a small percentage of babies react to breastmilk. I think its extremely scary to be giving your baby a manufactured product where theres room for error. Theres been formula product recalls in the US. Its a good substitute for breastmilk when the mother is physically/psychologically unable to breastfeed but I believe a mother should always give it a good go. Even a few weeks of bf is so beneficial.
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What do you think of this?
(An article by scientists proving that the benefits of breast milk have been exaggerated) http://stats.org/stories/breast_feed_nyt_jun_20_06.htm
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I would really like to read an article written by bec that does not have to include her children. Not being offensive , just I am yet to read one of her articles that does not include them. A different topic perhaps..
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here’s an idea… don’t read them! No one is putting a gun to your head to read every article on MM. don’t like it? Move on and read another…
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Bec has written plenty of articles on Mamamia that aren’t about her kids.
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I for one, love your articles about being a mum Bec. They are always written with humour and sensitivity at the same time without showing prejudice.
Please don’t stop!
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Go Bec! I love your writing. I like reading your posts on Mamamia about your kids because they show such depth of emotion & raw honesty. I actually just finished ‘The Girl Most Likely’ & was surprised that it was so light & funny in comparison. Absolutely loved the section on perfectionism towards the end.
Obviously your experiences since then, motherhood & especially losing Georgie, have coloured your writing. I would not expect otherwise.
Lara, if you want to read other articles by authors click on their by-line & it will take you to other posts. I often do that with writers I like on here because I’ve only being reading for the last year or so.
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This HAS to be a trolling comment.
HAS TO BE.
And before I get shouted down with “why can’t someone have an OPINION that you might not agree with? Just because you don’t LIKE what someone says there’s no reason to shout TROLL!” let me just say that that comment IS offensive.
1) you don’t HAVE to read Bec’s posts so no one is forcing you to read about her (beautiful, entertaining, interesting) children if you don’t want to.
2) people’s children are PRETTY DAMN SPECIAL and PERSONAL and MEANINGFUL things to said people. So when you talk negatively about, with reference to, etc someone’s children you WILL offend that person……and probably others too. And yes, saying you don’t want to read about them is a negative reference.
3) this is Mia’s site. Yes we visit, yes we comment, yes we, the community “make up” a huge part of the site but it’s Mia’s site and if the sole reason Bec is employed by Mia is to write about her kids then that has NOTHING to do with any of us. (I definitely don’t think this is the sole reason but just saying….)
Oh I’m mad now so I’m rambling on…..apologies for that…huff huff, puff puff….
Grrrrrrr….
Off to eat a coconut tart….
Ps ANOTHER interesting, informative and beautifully written PERSONAL post Bec. Thanks for always writing so OPENLY and HONESTLY. Its posts LIKE this (and lots of others) that bring me here many times every day.
P.p.s I don’t know Bec, have never met or seen her IRL in my life.
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Clearly you don’t visit this site very often. Bec wrote about weddings last week!!!!
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I would read Bec’s shopping list if she gave it to me. I love every word she writes. That said I love hearing about her children too – she is an inspirational mother and I can actually feel the love in her words
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Lara, I’m afraid your comment was offensive – regardless of your intention. Bec is a new mother to Fin and a bereaved mother to my goddaughter Georgie who was stillborn 18 months ago.
She is also the mother of Ava who is 3 and divine.
Bec is many many many other things as well but right now, motherhood and the issues around it are top of mind and dominating her life.
This is a brilliant, fortunate thing for Mamamia readers because Bec writes about her experiences as a mother in a way that is authentic, honest, insightful, candid, empathetic, humourous and soo sooo helpful to every other woman who is a mother or may like to be one day.
So no, Bec doesn’t beat down my door begging to be able to write about her children. Every post she’s written about motherhood – among the many many many posts she’s written for us about other things – has been initiated by us because she is one of our absolute favourite MM contributors, one of my favourite writers and also one of my favourite people in the world.
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Good grief! Is this a joke Lara? Don’t read Bec’s articles if the content doesn’t appeal.
Bec, love ya work, no matter what the topic! Your contributions on motherhood and parenting are fabulous. Go girl!
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Bec, I love your writing, and I especially love your posts on motherhood & your children.
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I can understand how people may see te current situation as a bit of a desperate one. When I had my son recently, was the only mother who breastfed in a full maternity ward. That’s a pretty poor statistic. People talk about copping some slack for feeding formula. I have to constantly justify to all my family and friends why I choose to breastfeed, and am always hearing the “he’s crying because he’s hungry” and “just give him the bottle” etc. fills me with doubt even though bub is thriving. i’m glad i had the support of my husband when it was very emotionally difficult throughout the first couple of months. thankfully visits to the health nurse keep me positive and going.
I suppose moral of the story is we all need support!
Pls excuse typos, typing in a hurry on iPad
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I agree that while we often hear that mothers who choose to formula feed their babies are criticised, the criticism that mothers can attract in relation to breastfeeding gets less acknowledgement – there is still a lot of negative press out there about so called ‘extended’ breastfeeding for example, breastfeeding on demand, breastfeeding while pregnant, tandem feeding etc. It’s not all one way…
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I’m amazed at how many women are absolutely unable to breastfeed despite trying so hard. Something must be going wrong with modern bodies if they can no longer produce breastmilk properly. Imagine if this phenomena happened 100 years ago when formula wasn’t around…
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Heaps more women could not breastfeed in the past, because breasts were often damaged by diseases including venereal disease etc.
These babies were fed by wetnurses, when available. Or they were raised on gruels and fed with mixes of goat’s milk etc.
A lot of these babies did die. In Brisbane in 1900, more than half of babies not breast fed did die before they turned one.
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As historian points out, babies died. Our bodies do let us down. That is hard enough to cope with without the sarcasm of others. It’s difficult to watch your child fail to thrive, to lose weight, to be unresponsive and lethargic because somehow, no matter how much you express, how much water you drink, how much you want to breastfeed, the milk is not there. Thankfully Karitane helped me accept that breastfeeding wasn’t going to work and we put my daughter on formula. Happily, next time around, it did work and guess what? the first 6 weeks of my son’s life were joyous and memorable unlike the fear, pain and despair that i remember from first time around. Mothers, breast feed or bottle feed – don’t let anyone judge you and know that it’s not whether your babies are fed breastmilk or formula, it’s whether you love them.
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My body produced loads of good breastmilk. But my nipples were extremely uncooperative. Sorry if that’s TMI. And despite attending ‘breastfeeding school, wearing nipple shields, paying exorbitant $$ for lactation consultants to come to my home, I still couldn’t do it.
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My only problem with people complaining about something like the BFHI is that they offer no alternative. It is a fact that breastmilk is the normal, natural and best nutrition option for a baby. This is not in question. It is also a fact that throughout the 60s, 70s and 80s there was a lot of misinformation out there about the how and what babies should be fed. A number of other commentators have mentioned that they were fed formula and have grown up just fine – but therein lies the problem. We have an acceptance in our society based on the collective experience of our mums, aunties etc that formula is fine, because hey, we made it.
How do you go about changing that? Where do you reach mums to try and educate them about breastfeeding? In hospital, where the vast majority of us have our babies.
Please let me be clear – it is totally absurd to me that a baby should ever suffer in any way due to a lack of breastmilk, breastfeeding problems and so on. Thank god we have formula as a safe alternative – and I do not judge (or care, quite frankly) how other people choose to feed their babies.
My issue is that it is very easy to criticise the current programs trying to change long-held perceptions and misconceptions of breastfeeding, but what would be better? Because, as in the article above, there was a significant increase in the number of breastfeeding mums at the hospital where the program was implemented in NY – and isn’t that a good thing?
Again, please let me be clear, I fully support mums making the choice that is right for them about how they feed their baby. However, I have seen the lack of knowledge/understanding some people have when it comes to breastfeeding, and the benefits that an initiative like the BFHI can have. While I can see from the above article, and many of the comments below, that it is not a perfect system, what would be better? And, although the women in the above article are fortunate enough to be well educated, well informed and well supported to make their decisions, what about mums who are not as fortunate, and who really do need the extra support/encouragement/push to be successful in breastfeeding?
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Hi Anonymous
You make a great point and please know that I do fully support programs that educate and provide support to women about breastfeeding. Particularly since breastfeeding is not always easy and problems and issues do occur — so help and assistance should be a priority in maternity wards. Absolutely.
I just do feel that perhaps there needs to be work done on accepting and respecting the choices of women who choose not to breastfeed. If a woman has been informed by the team as to the health benefits (and assistance available) her decision (whichever way it goes) must be respected. Giving her the silent treatment, making faces, sighing, telling a mother that their baby will become ill because of baby formula is not helping.
So I’m all for continuing the BFHI — I’m just asking some of the staff who implement the program in these hospitals to work harder at being more accepting.
Feeding makes up just ONE PART of a baby’s wellbeing. Surely what is more important than breastmilk or formula is a mother who is happy, feels confident and is not overwhelmed by new motherhood.
Thanks for your comment though.
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I agree there should be information made available. But at the end of the day, it is the mothers choice for her a baby. Formula isn’t harmful, it just isn’t as good as breastmilk. But it’s a womans right to choose. If we start taking that choice away, what is next?
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Anonymous, it doesn’t appear that you support a woman’s choice. You say it, but you keep coming back to the point that breast is best and harping on it. If you support a woman’s choice, how about you say you support it and leave it that. For heaven’s sake, why can’t people just drop this whole formula versus breast feeding debate, let women decide how they want to feed their children without criticising. Although I’ve noticed the breast is best brigade criticises women who formula feed, at no time have i heard mothers who formula feed criticise mothers who choose to breastfeed.
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I’m surprised that you took that from my post. It’s well documented that breastmilk is best and I do believe in education so we can make informed decisions. However it is absolutely the mothers choice. I can honestly say that if/when I have a baby, I would choose not to breastfeed, so I assure you, I respect a womans right to choose.
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Anonymous, in that case I apologise!
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Reading all these comments it’s no wonder women are seen as bitchy! People are trying to give their honest opinions and are getting slammed for it, way to go everyone!
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I clicked on here expecting lots of judgy and nasty comments but having read the first page they are mostly really kind and supportive!! Yay!
Could it be MM is (rightfully) monitoring the comments? And deleting the snark? Has anyone else noticed this? It is very different to other posts’ comments that are on similar topics.
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Shame they opt for such a cheap and nasty measure to promote breast feeding instead of hiring more specialist staff to actually help.
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Bec your story and experience with Finn is the same as mine and my son. Thank you so much for sharing it. I had gone 5 days with NO MILK coming in. I finally made the excruciating decision to go to formula because my tiny new little baby was fading away and I felt like an awful mother for not being able to feed him, but when I made this decision the midwives were AWFUL to me. I was treated like a child, told I hadn’t tried hard enough, that I just had to try harder, that my milk would eventually come in, that I was making the wrong decision and various other negative and judgemental comments. But all I was concerned about was feeding and nourishing my poor tiny little baby boy who cried and cried and cried to be fed.
Prior to my experience I had always been very judgemental about people who used formula, and I felt so terrible for having been that judgemental when I went through my own breastfeeding hell. My milk did eventually come in and I was lucky enough to be able to switch back from formula to breast and then breastfed successfully for 6 months but I will never ever forget the way I was treated by those horrible midwives. I have such negative views of midwives now because of my experience. The only person who was supportive of my decisions was my ObGyn – and I thought nurses were suppose to be the caring ones!
Yes, if you are able to breastfeed, power to you. No one doubts that breast is best. But please, please, PLEASE remember that it is not easy or even possible for everyone.
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I am sorry you had a bad experience, but do not link the BFHI with what sounds like an arsehole of a midwife. Artificial feeding of newborns is a serious issue and should be treated as such – however you should never have been treated like that.
Please don’t displace personal trauma onto what is a significant structural issue, especially in the US. The pendulum really has NOT swung ‘too far’. Remember that on one side you have health professionals while on the other you have huge, transnational conglomerates manufacturing artificial milk for profit.
Read this for more information: http://www.askmoxie.org/2012/07/the-illusion-of-choice-the-free-market-and-your-boobs.html
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You call it artificial feeding, I call it giving my child the nourishment she needed when my body couldn’t and didn’t.
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‘artificial feeding’ yes, I had that term thrown at me in hospital too.
It’s a wonder I didn’t leave the hospital depressed as well as unable to b/feed.
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It’s a medical/nursing term and really by the time cows milk goes through the processes it needs to be suitable for human babies it is fairly artificial.
Kate, yes formula companies are forbidden to enter the debate because they have shown lack of ethics in the past. They are now advertising toddler milk, however, which if a toddler is on a varied diet, is not necessary. It’s also vanilla flavored and the exposure they get increases market awareness of the brand.
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As one of the people responsible for launching toddler milks/ formula in Australia I feel the need to respond. I agree that if a toddler is one a varied diet these products aren’t necessary.
Toddler milks are very different to infant formula (which is actually able to be called baby milk overseas). Personally I believe that most parents are able to cope with receiving more information about formula feeding. I believe if we were able to have a full and frank discussion about ingredients, where they came from, what they mean, the different between brands and products as well as the importance of hygiene (storage of the powder, how long it can be kept once open, how long a made up bottle can be kept, bottle cleaning etc) as well as the genuine cost, some mums who may be thinking bottle feeding is a lazy/ easier option may change their minds. If more midwives actively engaged with formula companies and understood more about their products, they may be able to engage with mums refuses to breastfeed and discuss the option of comp feeding.
As a final disclaimer: I have not worked in the formula industry for years and breastfed both of my children (the second for nearly 2 years).
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The short answer is we’re actually not allowed to speak with formula company reps, nor reccomend any particular formula over another whilst employed by the govt. This is why we don’t actively engage with the companies.
The private hospitals may not be quite so strict about it, I don’t know, having stuck mostly to the public system during my career. Health care staff, however, can and do attend seminars run by formula companies and I’ve just come across details for an infant feeding conference not run by a formula company, with information about formula feeding, which looks very interesting.
I actually agree that we need the information about formulas (without the “spin” so to speak) to help our clients/patients.
Women should also receive information while in hospital about sterilizing, safety &hygiene issues related to feeds etc.
The BFHI does “interfere” with this to some degree and I believe that it shouldn’t, just as I disagree with colleagues that are too one eyed about breastfeeding. However I also believe that breastfeeding should be a first choice and that there is nothing wrong with trying to raise our breastfeeding rates.
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It is the factual term. I do not feel the need to use the euphemism of ‘formula’ or ‘bottle’ – I think euphemisms promote shame. It is what it is.
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What a ridiculous comment. The formula companies aren’t even allowed to enter the debate. They are actually restricted from advertising to newborns, so I hardly see this as a conspiracy. Clearly, some parents are made to feel terrible by some people that advocate breastfeeding too aggressively. I hardly think this kind of behaviour will help to change someone’s mind about how to feed their child whether they can or can’t breastfeed. Regardless of the BFHI and its merits the pendulum has OBVIOUSLY swung to far in many parenting issues, in this case when a mother or father’s choice in how they feed their child is not protected. Phrases like ‘artificial feeding’ are clearly designed to bully parents into feeding the way some advocates want them to.
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Don’t know where my comment went – so sorry if this is repeated.
‘Formula’ is synthesised cow’s milk. As I said above, artificial milk/ feed is a factual term. I do not use euphemisms, which to me indicate there is a need to dance around the truth. I also say vulva. When pregnant, I had a foetus in my uterus, not a ‘baby in my tummy’. I said fundus not bump as much as I could. I have sex with my husband, I do not ‘baby dance’. Et cetera.
As to the content of your comment – I… don’t really know how to respond. Latch NYC is entirely above preventing artificial milk companies from exploiting vulnerable women in health facilities. It is not just about advertising – and by the way, these companies transgress the WHO Code constantly. And in countries where the code is not ratified/ enforced, they actively seek to destroy breastfeeding culture. I live in Indonesia and I see it happening every single day.
So on the one hand, you have health professionals, who do not benefit either personally or monetarily from a mother breastfeeding. And on the other, you have companies who will profit directly if you do not. Yet who gets the ire? The health professionals. Even when the companies are shown to have compromised the health of infants (i.e. Nestle NAN) people do not seem to be as angry about that as they are about the so-called ‘breastfeeding nazis’.
Transnational mega-corporations do not need to be protected. But vulnerable women and children do. This is a structural, not personal, issue and I wish more people would take a step back and critical anaylse what is happening.
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Well, actually, that’s not right! Formula is not ‘synthesised cows milk’. It is actual cows milk, modified to alter the balance of proteins, and with other nutrients added. But it is still a largely ‘natural’ product, albeit one that started its life designed to feed baby cows, not humans. But stating that it is ‘synthesised’ and ‘artificial’ is incorrect.
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I think we would all agree that formula hardly resembles cows milk, by the time it hits the tin or bottle.
Artificial feeding is actually a medical term and when i write it on a hospital/clinic form I can assure you that I’m not thinking “ooh you bad parent”. It is what it is. Most of us refer to bottles, or formula when we’re talking to parents anyway.
I think that katehegs’ comment was very well put. The lack of ethics shown by the formula companies is the thing that most p*^#es me off about them.
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When I had my first child I had to sign a waiver indicating that I had agreed to give my baby formula and that I understood it was inferior and was linked with increased rate of sickness etc. I didn’t choose formula, but not having any breast milk meant that I had a starving screaming baby on my hands. The first two days of her life were hell, with no sleep and no one offering any solutions other than “you’re milk will come in in a day or so”… when I asked about formula you would have thought I had asked to remove one of her limbs!
Eventually I was given the waiver to sign and my baby girl got a bottle, which she happily drank then settled down for a sleep (finally!). Turns out, my milk never came in, despite suckling, hyper expression, drug therapy and everything else under the sun!
The same thing happened with my two other children, although by the third my boobs were starting to get the message and I was producing about 20ml per feed (success!). Of course this was not enough and my son was losing weight. The ‘answer’ that was suggested was to re-admit him to hospital and put in a feed tube(presumably that would be formula anyway!). We declined, started top up formula feeding at home, and reduced both of our stress levels considerably!
After three pregnancies and three failed milk supplies, a midwife finally admitted that perhaps it was possible that I just wasn’t able to breast feed! Did I want to breast feed? Yes, very much. Was I able to breast feed? No. Does it matter? No, I don’t think so. My children are healthy, intelligent, funny little people who are just perfect, despite the fact that mummy has defunct boobs.
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After reading this article I switched over to Google news and purely coincidentally stumbled upon this:
http://www.news.com.au/business/companies/nestle-nan-ha-1-gold-baby-formula-making-children-sick/story-fnda1bsz-1226445965641
We shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that formula is manufactured and therefore open to all sorts of errors being made. Breastmilk is natural and must be the very best food for babies otherwise the species wouldn’t have survived! I was extremely lucky – I was passionate about BF my babies and managed to do so with ease until each was eighteen months old. I’d like to think though, that if I’d had problems, I would have been persuaded to persevere rather than to turn to formula. What do women in third world countries do? I can’t accept that their babies just die of malnutrition. I am sure that experienced mothers and grandmothers step in and either wetnurse or provide relevant support or advice. As long as formula is freely available and promoted, it’s going to be the easier way out of breastfeeding problems. I don’t think women should feel demonised if they can’t breastfeed but there must be a better way of resolving problems than just reaching for that tin of artificial stuff.
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Unless you have experienced breastfeeding problems you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about in regards to persevering. I dare you to keep breastfeeding after living on antibiotics on and off for 6 months, with constant coldsores and battling chronic tonsilitis while trying to look after an unsettled screaming baby who slept no more than 2 hours in a stretch.
I did and it was hell. Finally after finally taking matters into my own hands, and ignoring my hippie baby health nurse who was still encouraging me to keep persevering, I bought some formula and weaned my baby. Baby suddenly became happy, settled and gained some much needed weight and I got better and began to recover from the worst 6 months of my life.
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Jane, of course you are entitled to your opinion on this topic, but please do not be ignorant about third world countries. You may not want to accept that their babies die of malnutrition, but this is the reality. It is a very idealistic view to think that others step in to help. There is huge, massive in fact, percentage of infant mortality in third world countries, where survival is a daily struggle.
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Try BF a bub with silent reflux. Oh but that’s right I just took the easy way out. I should have persevered hey. Oh and the fact she was allergic to cows milk and soy, well I should have just cut that out of my diet( let’s not mention the fact that such a diet involves tons more cooking). If I had been in a third world country then hey I would have had to persevere or find a wet nurse( given the fact HIV is rife over there that’s pretty sensible). Oh and the fact that doing all the above left me with no time for my eldest child, well hell we are talking breast milk here so that doesn’t matter.
FACT- My daughter has thrived on a synthetic formula. It made her happy and pain free. My eldest child thrived as they too received attention from a happy, well rested mother. Idiots like you need to take a good, hard look at themselves. Walk in someone else’s shoes before you make judgement calls on “artificial milk”, “easier choices” etc. You disgust me.
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Of course babies in third world countries die of malnutrition. Happens all the time. Used to happen in first world countries quite often as well. Baby needing sustenance to survive + mother with no milk = give baby formula.
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You are correct about that in Victorian times wealthy mothers would hand her baby to a wet nurse Even Queen Victoria herself employed wet nurses. In poor families if no one else was nursing the baby would just die.
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I was the queen of perseverence. I thought as long as I kept going, it would work out (and indeed this was the experience of some of my friends). I kept on going, but if the milk ain’t there, no amount of perservering will help.
Don’t kid yourself that babies in the third world don’t die of a lack of milk. Or of formula made on dirty water. I was thankful that my baby didn’t suffer that fate.
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I agree with others who argue against your point. And in addition, you’re suggesting we should all employ a wet nurse if need be??? I know they have breast milk banks in the city but not all of us live there or find it a nice thought to consider where that has come from
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My fathers niece died of malnutrition because of this exact thinking, his home country decided it knew best for the women and did not allow formula. It was not a third world country either. AND m mother almost died from malnutrition in a DP camp I Genoa run by the Allies. Babies DO just die of malnutrition …..they just do
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Having lived in a 3rd world country, I can tell you that while people breast feed because it’s cheap, people also use baby formula. It’s readily available and big companies like Nestle have it everywhere just like CocaCola.
Of course, in many third world countries mothers can’t breastfed for other reasons. The mother may be malnourished and therefor isn’t producing enough good stuff for the baby, or she may have a disease that could be passed through breastmilk.
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The bottom line is – do whatever works best for you and your baby! There are so many formula fed people I know in the world who are FINE! Ugh so annoying these self righteous people who need to shut up. It’s both a physical and mental decision and it’s no one else’s business.
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Great article and my sentiments exactly. Perhaps there should be a bit more focus on how children are fed post infancy – perhaps we could padlock the potato chips, softdrinks/energy drinks, etc and require them to be signed out for special occasions……
PS. I should say that I loved breastfeeding too – and breastfed both of my girls for 18months – I just think this initiative is going too far.
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Oh, I so, so feel for you. I had very successfully breastfed my first 2 children. Then when the third one came around I thought it would be so easy. Doh!
I was having latching issues in the hospital, and developed a temperature whilst I was in there. They duly gave me antibiotics, blaming it on the possibility that I had a mild infection due to not expelling the placenta in its entirety.
Two days after leaving hospital I was back in with severe mastitis in both breasts – on intravenous and oral antibiotics. Nothing would come out of either breast – at all.
My OB/Gyn gave me a small white pill to dry up the milk. You cannot believe how long I sat there and looked at that pill before I was actually able to swallow it. Knowing that once I had taken it there was no going back. I tore myself to shreds with the thought that I was going to have to feed my baby with formula. Maybe it was about 2 hours before I actually kicked myself in the butt and swallowed it. But eventually I made myself come to the realization that feeding my baby formula was better than starving him because I couldn’t do it naturally.
Why did I feel so bad about this step? Because of all the backlash I was afraid I would go through.
However, I made a conscious decision that I was not going to let anyone else’s personal and uneducated opinion make me feel I was a worthless mother.
And I also think the experience has made me far more sympathetic towards mothers who do choose to make this decision.
As for your comments on different nurses’s/midwive’s methods, surely they should be taught all methods available, but let the patient choose the one that suits them?
For any expectant mothers out there – first time or otherwise – be prepared for anything. And don’t let ANYONE (medical staff included) tell you what to do – unless, of course, it is a serious medical issue.
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Guilt is such a useless emotion…do what you can….go for breast first and I’m sure this is what the NY new policy is aiming for, to ensure mothers at least try. If anyone has an issue, or a hungry baby that can’t be breast fed then they will have access to formula. And if you don’t want to have to ask for it then pop a container/ bottle in your bag as is the recommendation here if you plan to bottle feed….and enjoy your baby! I don’t think it needs all the drama attached.
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Great point of view – so right a happy mother a happy baby.
In the seventies no one breastfed and look at us all!
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As fun as it is to get outraged over very limited information, can I suggest everyone read the following blog article from someone who works in one of these US hospitals?
http://phdoula.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/reply-turned-post-nightmarish-vision-of.html
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I would “thumbs up” this post a lot, but that function isn’t working in my browser. mm.com admins, how about adding this link to the original post, given that it clarifies a LOT about the situation in New York?
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Excellent point alliecat.
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I breastfed my first – it took me a long time to establish my milk and I did top ups for the first 6 weeks until exclusively breastfeeding until 12 months. It was a long hard exhausting road to establish, but I was glad I did it and enjoyed the experience (once it worked). The hospital was helpful by encouraging breastfeeding but also helping with top ups. My second bub latched on straight away and I was pleased….but it went downhill from there. I was at a different hospital and they didn’t really give me any other assistance with the BF after they saw her first latch on, even though my bub kept refusing to latch on after the first time – however it was perfectly fine for them to tell me the reason the baby in the next room was screaming was because the mother gave it formula!! I ended up checking out of hospital early and contacting my child health nurse for assistance – they fitted me in immediately, but it wasn’t to be, I just couldn’t breastfeed the second time. It was a very hard decision to make, but in the end it was the best for both me and my baby and I still enjoyed the experience of feeding her. I totally endorse breastfeeding, but I don’t think that mothers should be made to feel like criminals because they need to use formula.
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Reading all these posts I never really realised how truly hard it is for most ladies to breast feed. I really feel for you guys, especially when there are so many ads on TV telling mums how good formula is, some even say it’s better than breast milk (!)
I must have been really lucky, I never had a problem breast feeding my daughter, but I couldn’t bottle feed her anyway – every time I tried her with a bottle of formula OR breast milk she would completely refuse it! She hated bottles and was a booby girl who went straight to a sippy cup, and that was when she was a year old and started drinking cow’s milk, some kids are strange
While I do agree that breast is best, it’s definitely not best when it’s stressing out mother and baby. If you can that’s awesome, if you can’t don’t feel bad and fuck everyone who tries to make you feel bad. Mother’s need to do what feels right for them, it’s such a pity there is such a stigma about formula. It’s the same as some new mums who have had c-sections feel like failures cause they couldn’t give birth naturally.
And I’m not having a go midwives, I had nice ones and awful ones, but why are there so many old grumpy ones who have never even had kids???
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I don’t think formula companies are allowed to advertise on TV – toddler milk maybe.
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I guess you must not watch a lot of tv, it really doesn’t matter if it’s toddler milk – nearly everyone see’s it as baby milk anyway. Here’s the proof
http://ro.uow.edu.au/hbspapers/608/
The abstract will tell you.
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Not in Australia – they can only advertise toddler milk or follow-on formula, not straight from birth.
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Thats not the point! Did you go to the link and read the abstract? I did and I’m pretty sure you can see it’s from an AUSTRALIAN university in NSW…..
And besides google android didn’t even say anything about baby formula being advertised – if you read the original post it clearly says formula – not baby and not toddler. It was idiot guest above that started going on about toddler formula. Please don’t tell me you haven’t seen that aptamil formula commercial with baby being sneezed on – it’s definitely not a toddler. I know exactly the ad that google android is talking of.
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I agree with that article and most people I know think that the only reason “toddler milk” exists is so that formula companies can get their brand out there. However I have to agree with Guest that they are technically not allowed to advertise baby formula. I can’t recall the sneezing one, but I do recall the one tht says that breastfeeding is best as one of my friends got upset because they were “guilting” her for not breastfeeding (when she already had enough guilt from herself), even on a formula ad – I explained that they HAVE to say that to be allowed to advertise, so she felt a little better.
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I know the ad and it IS about toddler milk. It’s just a young toddler and I don’t like toddler formula.
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Thanks for your rude reply – no I didn’t read the link because it wasn’t there when I made my comment. I stand by my point that companies are not allowed to advertise baby formula from birth. Thanks for sticking to dinner party rules though (insert sarcasm here)
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