So the countdown has begun. Shortly I will be heading back to the daily grind of full time office life as my second, and likely last, stint of maternity leave comes to an end. No doubt about it, I’m pumped to be going back to my work family and giving my career a bit of focus for a while. But there will be plenty of things that I will really miss.
As the last few weeks tick by, I’m consciously trying to note and appreciate these things, knowing they will soon be mere memories that I fondly cast my mind back to when I’m sitting in long meetings, waiting impatiently for taxis and cursing printer paper jams.I will miss the nameless people from my day-time world.
The crazy (but harmless) old man that garbles some completely intelligible thing my way every morning as we walk to the cafe, and tips his hat to my eldest son. The upbeat crew at the café. The perky lady that runs story-time at the library, the weirdly tall lollipop man on the corner, the endless parade of other mums and the various dog walkers and their dogs.
I will miss the sun-dappled light. Everything appears less worse when cast in sun-dappled light. Toddler tantrums, screaming babies, dropped ice-creams and misjudged jumps over dog-poo. Many a day I’ve pulled myself back from the brink of unnecessary fury by casting a look to the heavens and being struck by the transformative powers of sun-dappled light. Even an overcast day wins over office fluros.
I will miss Jimmy Giggle.
I will miss the unique daily commentary from my eldest son. Generally focused on my errors – ‘Mummy you went the wrong way,’ ‘Mummy your skirt is on backwards,’ ‘Mummy did you lock us out again?’ – he is really rather perceptive. No doubt I will stuff things up at work too but I’m guessing my colleagues will be less likely to point it out to everyone in the vicinity at full volume.
I will miss not wearing a watch. And not always blow-drying my hair. And my more relaxed, comfortable, sticky-finger friendly wardrobe. And especially my comfortable shoes. Or more often than not, no shoes.
I will miss spending time in the park. All of them, seeing as I’m pretty sure I’ve now visited every park in Melbourne, possibly Victoria.
I will miss playing with Lego. I’ve shamelessly gotten into it and my Lego enthusiasm has given me hard to attain kudos with my eldest. It’s possible that I have occasionally continued playing with it as my sons have a nap so that I can reveal my Grand Designs to them when they wake up. Plus when they are asleep I can use whatever pieces I like.
I will miss planning our dinner whilst eating breakfast. It’s rather nice to have the morning to look up great meal ideas and then actually go and buy ALL the ingredients required as opposed to my husband and I scrambling around at 7:30pm in Masterchef Mystery Box mode trying to see what can be done with a red onion, canned tuna and milk.
And of course, above all, I will miss spending time with my kids. Not that I won’t still see them every day, but I’m acutely aware there is a difference between the time spent rushing to clothe, feed and pile everyone into the car of a morning compared with the precious clock-less hours I have recently shared with my two sons examining ants, watching flowers grow and explaining why there are two buttons on the toilet. I will miss the hugs, the laughing, the reality checks, the impromptu dancing and the occasional group nap on the couch.
Of course there’s a whole lot of things that I won’t miss so much but in the interest of keeping this sun-dappled I’ll wrap it up right there.
Do you miss your maternity leave? What do you miss the most?
Sarah lives in Melbourne and works in Adland. She has one husband, one cat, two small humans and has been meaning to exercise for about four years. Follow Sarah on Twitter @sarahbailey1982








Comments
41 Comments so far
Sarah you got it spot on I returned to full time work about 4 months ago & found myself saying ah huh and ticking off in my head everything you said. All I can say is thank god for IQ, I can now record Jimmy Giggle & still enjoy with my daughter. That made me smile.
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Going back to work can be such a challenge but at the same time, can be so exciting – hot coffee, adult conversation, deep thinking! I find the thought of getting home to the family makes me work harder and better, not the same for all and I know a lot of others find it hard to go back in the first, feel disconnected and not part of the team. Im an engineer and in such a high turnover busy environment this makes a big difference.
If anyone in brisbane is interested we have a group of engineers and similar on paternity that meet once a month in a child friendly environment for some conversation, personal and preofessional development and CPD hours, have a look on our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/wieqld or the EA site.
My daughter is 8 now and I’m not sure i even remember maternity leave, but I still have all those special times and perhaps appreciate them more than before. Of course, plenty of days I’d rather stay home with her!
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As much as Jimmy Giggle annoys many people, I too would miss him. His childlike perspective on life – that is, to be happy almost all of the time – inspires me every day!
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I am heading back to work part-time next week. I almost feel guilty that I am looking forward to it, especially when other mums “commiserate” with me about how awful I must be feeling. I miss the sense of accomplishment I get from work, contact with my colleagues plus the ability to contribute financially to my family. I am a much better parent when I have some time apart from my children.
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ive been back at work for just over a year, and i still miss being on mat leave. its like at about month 7 of pregnancy, any small trace of drive or need to succeed career wise left me (it was never very strong to begin with) and has never returned.
as Sarah wrote, i miss the clock less hours , being up all night with my unsettled boy and not worrying knowing i could stay in my pjs all the next day and nap when he did.
I miss Long leisurely walks around the water with my baby all bundled up in the pram.
Having time to try new dishes for dinner….and sitting down at the table to eat dinner every night with my husband!!
Being there to do all the little things with my son every night, feed him, bath him, put him to bed.
I really, desperately miss always being there for him 24/7 when hes sick, and never having to have someone help me pry his crying clinging sick little body from me as he desperately struggles to stay in my arms cos all he wants is his mum. had a bad winter with him with ear infections and tonsilitis and with carers/sick leave quickly running dry, this happened far too often
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I miss spending a whole morning outing doing the grocery shopping, which involves visiting grocery store, fruit shop and butcher – interspersed by a babycino and latte with my little buddy, a ride on the cheap wiggles car and his thoughts on the best isles to go down. So simple but LOVE that day.
Oh, and i love Jimmy Giggle too.
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I’ve just started Maternity leave, now all I need is the bubby (t-minus 5 days!) then I have 11 precious weeks I need to savor, all those tiny small moments of my day. Thanks for highlighting that. I’ll try to remember this when things seem ‘tough’ or menial.
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You wrote in a way that brought tears to my eyes. So beautiful. I’m at home with my kids & the youngest started kindy/preschool today. I don’t have a profession to go back to & would love a two day a week satisfying job during school hours. Fantasy. I think you’re lucky to have a career. Hope you get to enjoy both of your roles.
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Have been back at work for almost a year now (4 days a week) and still get sad every morning and watch the clock every afternoon until I can see his grin and outstretched arms as soon as Im home.
I really do like my job and my colleagues …. but they will never compare to the little man that warms my heart every minute. Sigh….
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I had my first day back at work today.
I missed my chubby bubby smiles, snuggles and wearing pj’s until 12pm!
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I will miss the snuggles in bed each morning with all my little boys fluffy toys in tow. I will miss tickles on the bed, rice bubbles and yoghurt whilst watching Sesame Street, playing cars on the floor, looking for planes, kicking ball and baking. The kisses and cuddles, the smiles and just listening to him chat away. I am going to suffer big time. I waited forty years to get this little man and now I have to hand him over to someone else to care for – not because I want to but because I have to. I am filled with grief and guilt. I just hope in time it turns out to be ok.
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I had the same thoughts, same guilt, but I quickly learnt that when I go to pick up my kids at the end of the day, I get the most heart-bursting, wonderful reception from both of them. The throw-themselves-at me, all-encompassing hugs. They have such wonderful relationships with their carers, and I know that they’re having a fun time creating, learning and playing with other kids (I get the lowdown each day!). I am just the icing on their cake at the end of my workday – as they are to me.
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Oh Cat I feel your sadness babe but let me assure you- everything will be ok. I’ve done it 3 times and my kids are truly wonderful human beings. My oldest is off to uni this year and I remember when she was a wee baby and I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old out of necessity.
The younger ones had me for longer but she is a perfectly well adjusted mature and lovely young lady. It does tear your heart out at first but it becomes a natural part of life.
Do not beat yourself up I have wasted years feeling guilty but everything and everyone is ok x
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As I stress about getting everything done before heading off on my next and last maternity leave, thank you for reminding me what an amazing year lies in store. Thanks for casting some dappled light on my busy week. Mrs F x
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I’ll miss having a toilet companion. Chatting to your colleagues whilst on the loo just won’t be the same… or as well received.
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I’ll miss having a toilet companion. Chatting to a colleague just won’t be the same…. Or as well received.
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Great post Sarah, and good luck!
I felt likewise about maternity leave when going back after number 2 and hated work when I went back. I told myself if I still hated it in a years time, then I would leave… and I did, so I did! Six months on, and I’m love, love, loving being with the crazy kids… but I find it hard filling out the ‘occupation’ section in forms… lately I’ve used ‘home CEO’ but I’m working on something snappier.
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I used this for a while
Managing Director of the (insert surname) household.
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DHA – Director of Home Affairs here.
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I couldnt even cope with the thought of returning after 1 child so I resigned before I returned from maternity leave!
I’m happy, my kids are happy and my husband is happy. Thats all that matters.
I used to think of tricky titles. Now I’m happy with housewife. If that bothers anyone, thats their problem not mine
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What’s wrong with writing Mum (or Dad)? If we feel it’s not an important enough title to be proud of why should the rest of the world!
I’m lucky enough to work in a role I love but unless it’s relevant to my career or taxes I write Mum in most forms.
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My grandad calls my nana the Administrator of domestic affairs hehe
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I use homemaker. I feel it appropriately describes my occupation, I make our house a home
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I’m on maternity leave at the moment and although some days are really tough and looong and going out sometimes feels like a military procedure I do love it. There really is no rush and life is relatively Simple, not wasy but back to basics. If its a lovely day we can play outside all day, we paint, we sing, we laugh. I love being the main influence on my two daughters lives
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You know that you will still HAVE the kids, right? You will still be able to go to the park, play with lego, go to the cafe and watch Jimmy Giggle while managing a tantrum on the weekends. With boofy hair! Not trying to be smart – I get it – headed back to work is hard. But don’t forget that you will continue to be a parent, even once you go back to work. This post makes it sound like you are going to hand your children back and return your previous life, which I am not sure is what you will be doing…
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I agree Sally! I have gone back to work and still do all those things with my son, just not every day. And today, after a year of childcare, he was really reluctant to leave because he wanted to show me everything he had been doing.
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I miss that sense of being a critical cog in the day to day life of my children, which is the complete opposite of how I feel at work having returned to a part time position and a greatly reduced role. I miss the cuddles, the laughs, even the odd tantrum. But I also see how much my kids enjoy and flourish at childcare and Kindy so I’m learning to not be too hard on myself.
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Thank you Sarah for this well written piece. I too will be going back to work soon from maternity leave. My eldest will be starting prep and my in laws will be looking after the younger one. I think there will be times when I will wonder what the kids are up to when I am at work. New adventures for us all.
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Ditto!! Love this, I am also returning to work in two weeks and I felt like I was reading my own words!!! X
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I went through so many of these same emotions a few years ago. I didn’t take any maternity leave as I was lucky enough to work for an employer at the time that let me work from home – I remember answering emails between feeds and it worked well for us at the time. Then I got so wrapped up with work after returning to the office and things needed to change. A few years on and it’s now very different. You can read a little about our journey at http://www.schoolhours.com.au. One thing’s for sure, regardless of the choices we make with work/family and career advancement or career pause, we all find our own perfect balance eventually – I hope
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Wow, that is making me exciting for all the things I have to look forward to!
2 weeks until maternity leave starts for me.
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That is a beautiful post sarah showing the great life you can lead as a stay at home mum instead of the usual complaining about how hard it is
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I agree. Beautiful.
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Good Luck Sarah! I’m going back one day from July and I’m freaking out over that!! Once number 2 comes along it’ll be SAHM for good.
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Yes, timely for me too….2 weeks till, I’m back at work, it’s been much more tricky this time around with 2 but I’ve been less anxious and so it’s been a better experience. It was nice to read an article about the positive aspects of being on maternity leave, the sun dappled version is grand. By the way I will not miss jimmy giggle….my goodness I think sometimes he even annoys himself!
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I always find the transition back to work very hard. It’s hurtful, for me, to not be there 100% of the time with my kids.
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So timely – im going back to work part time in three weeks and leaving my 9 month old at home. I’m lucky that I’m a nurse so I can opt to work 12 hour shifts and nights so I only miss out on a little of his waking hours and still largely bring home the same wage.
But I will miss sweet smelling after bath snuggles, reading ‘where the wild things are’ and being the last person he sees before he falls asleep on the two nights I will be away. I will miss waking up to baby chuckles and the long chats over his fruit porridge on the mornings that I need to go to sleep.
But mostly I will miss having my whole time for devoting all of my attention to my amazing, miraculous little boy, because I have to go back to work and take care of other people’s kids instead. And for that I am the tiniest bit resentful – if I have to be looking after kids, I’d much rather it be my own.
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I don’t have kids, but this makes me want to go on maternity leave! But…do I have to have a baby? Would a puppy count?
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A puppy would totes be easier Ozlicious! (And more fun at times)
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both my parents took “peternity” leave when we got out puppy last year….
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That was a lovely post Sarah. Good luck with going back to work.
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