Have you heard about this yet? The Telegraph reports:
A 12-YEAR-OLD
girl who was allowed to live with her 15-year-old boyfriend despite her
father's pleas to DOCS is set to become one of the state's youngest
mothers.The girl had shared a bed with the father of
the unborn child from the age of 11 after her mother allowed him to
move into their home. But although her father, who is separated from the mother…..
…repeatedly pleaded with staff at the Department of Community Services
helpline they did nothing about the situation.
Police said they were also unable to intervene because both children
were under the age of consent. If the boy was 18 police would have
immediately begun a criminal investigation. When the girl's father took custody of her in March, he discovered she was pregnant.
She is about halfway through her pregnancy. He is outraged that it took the shock news his child was to be a mother for government agencies to finally take notice. The department admitted it failed to act earlier because staff were
working on more urgent cases. The father told his local member, Dubbo
MP Dawn Fardell, that staff from DOCS and the Departments of Health and
Education were now clamouring to help the child.
"He came to me. The police said, 'Our hands are tied'," Ms Fardell
said yesterday. "The father said to me it looks like he and his partner
will raise the baby, they are happy to do so. "All the agencies have come in now and there were different options for her, it is a child having a child. "We need to surely look at what we can do. Someone needs to be
accountable for this, we are accountable to society for allowing this
to happen."
Senior police said because the children were both under the age of
consent and the girl failed to make a complaint of sexual abuse when
she was interviewed, they were unable to act after the girl's father
came to them on March 31.
Sad details of the girl's life emerged in Parliament earlier this month. Her mother was placed in a mental health unit in March and when her
father took over his daughter's care and went to police to report the
pregnancy, she ran away. The girl has since returned to her father.
This morning Community Services Minister Linda Burney has admitted major mistakes were made by her department in this case. The girl was ignored by DOCS because "the system was stretched", she says. There was no intervention by DOS, despite pleas from the girl's father for help, Mrs Burney said. "It's a disturbing case. It is true in my view that DoCS should have intervened more strenuously than what they did. "I'm of the view, as is the department, that there should have been more strident intervention than happened.
"The father did contact community services in early March and there
was some investigation but clearly not enough was done and I want to
acknowledge that." The minister's comment come after DOCS admitted last night it had received the father's pleas for help. "The NSW Department of Community Services has been working with a
pregnant 12-year-old girl and her family," a spokeswoman said last
night.
"DOCS had received reports about this girl previously. Because of
more urgent cases, the department took some action to investigate this
case, but acknowledges more intensive casework could have been done." The girl will be offered ongoing counselling, parenting advice and educational services, DOCS said.
I've been listening to radio talkback about this and read some of the comments on the Tele's website and honestly, why is everyone so quick to blame a government department for this? It's a terrible thing that she got pregnant and it sounds like her home life was terrible BUT is it DOCS' fault?
In a perfect world, DOCS would have unlimited funding and enough case workers to deal with every complaint they receive. Complaints like this. But this world and their funding is imperfect. Frighteningly so. And they HAVE to prioritise. Do I wish they'd prioritised this girl who was having sex with her boyfriend over a child who was being abused or malnourished or neglected? A child whose life was in danger? No, I'm afraid I don't.
And as for the predictable accusations that "these young girls just do it for the money and shouldn't get handouts" blah blah blah? Please. This girl was 11 and she wanted to have sex. Stupid? Absolutely. Sad? For sure. But calculated? I very much doubt it. When will we stop bashing the DOCS workers who have to confront the most shocking situations every working day and take home countless tragedies in their minds every night? They need support, they need funding. What they don't need is constant abuse.
Can we really blame a government department every time something goes wrong?
The Tele have more on this story here today…
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66 Comments so far
Well, I’m 15 years old and I have a 12 year old friend who is pregnant and my other friend who just turned 15 gave birth about 4 months ago. Honestly, to me it’s not a big shocker, I have seen so many pregnant teens. In a way this is bad and good. This young girl will have to grow up very fast but she also will learn to become responsible. Hopefully, she learns that this can happen and it did happen so she won’t be 14 and have two kids.
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omg seriously 11 year old having sex? Parents need to tell their kids about sex and what age they think is appropriate for this stuff so unwanted pregnancies like this will not happen!
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aren’t there other ways for the dad to have helped? like going to court to get custody of her?
if the mother ended up in a mental hospital, surely there would have been just cause for the father to take custody?
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It’s something that shouldn’t have happened but it has, there’s no point in blaming DOCS. Its up to parents to educate their children about sex and it seems kids need to be told about it from Age 10 or so these days, whereas I wasn’t told about the birds and bees until I was 14 and it was only because I’d had my first kiss with a boy at the school dance and my friend blurted it out when my Mum was in earshot. Kids experiment younger and younger and if the Dad suspected she was having sex why didn’t he talk with her about Sex and take her to the doctor’s for the pill. Ideally she shouldn’t be having sex at 11 but I can’t help but think this could’ve been prevented had she been educated about sex, been on the pill etc. and the parents shouldn’t have let those two kids share a bed either. The boy and his parents are also to blame here, it takes two to tango.
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i blame the girls mother! what sort of a lowlife would encourage a 12 year old CHILD to have sex with anybody let alone an under aged boy.
Blame the mother nobody else!!
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Seems to me DOCs is damned if they do, and damned if they dont. We hear stories of case workers failing to intervene early enough, with tragic consequences, but we also see much ugliness levelled at them when they ‘interfere’ in someone’s life, who doesnt consider it warranted. Personally I can live with some families being interfered with uneccessarily if it means less children get damaged and hurt.
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How could a childs body support childbirth ? Urgh this makes me angry and sad.
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She’s mature enough physically to have started her periods.
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historically, women have been known to be married as soon as they were “women,” that is, started their periods. people also had shorter lifespans and blah blah blah.
these days, while girls are physically able to bear children, they are mentally and emotionally unprepared.
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I believe it could have been prevented here are a few reasons 1.her mother should have put her on a contraceptive and told her about sexual education, surely this young girl did not even know she could even be pregnant at that age, I was 14 when I fell pregnant with my first child, I was not educated about sexual health and pregnancy. 2. I know personally DOCS takes children into Care when it’s not necessary. Instead in some situations they should provide assistance to point families in the right direction to a facility that can help with educating in parenting, and so on. 3. What about the young boy in all of this, should we be concerned that he was having sex with an 11 year old. I think there is more than 1 person to blame in all of this, but I think now they should be more concerned about the health and wellbeing of a child and the impact of having child, I know exactly what it’s like myself, I’m 20 now and my son is 5 and I still struggle to come to terms with the fact I have missed my childhood.
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wow . yea i think this is kind of CRAZY . why would parents let a 11 year old girl sleep with a 15 year old guy ? i mean even sleep with a guy at age 11. that is messed up im sorry to say .
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wow, reading this and all the comments, it is just wrong that this was allowed to happen. I have a 12 year old girl and I look at her and she is so tiny and still has not grown up she is still a little girl, yes she is developing, but gosh she is just a kid still. Still in primary school, not old enough to make the desion to have sex. That is something an 11 year old should not be doing.
Where is the mother’s moral’s? As a mother I feel it is my job to not allow something like that to happen, it is my job to protect my little girl until she is old enough to make that kind of decison, and that age is not I beleive is till she is at least 16 to 17. But that is just my opion, and I have no problem putting bars on all my windows and dead locks on the door, but I will protect my little girl at what ever cost. She will say she hates me, she will call me a bitch, but my girl is safe and when she grows up and has her life on track she will thank me, I am my daughters friend but I am her mother first, and it is up to me to guide her.
I really feel for this little girl, who’s mother let her down so badly.
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Did you read it at all? The mom needed mental help so her dad took over. The matter must not have been discussed at home
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I realise that this is now a very old post but I want to add that when I was in year 8 so 12 going on 13 and there were boys and girls having sex at that age. They didn’t come from bad families or bad situations, they weren’t rebelling or anything like that, they just believed that it was a normal thing to do at that age.
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so tru
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This is so sad I cried. I’m terrified that this might be my daughter some day.
My ex husband just won 5 nights a fortnight custody of our 9yo daugher through the courts. This is despite his obvious lack of parenting skills and disregard for common decency and morals. The court says he needs to spend more time to develop their relationship. But what about my daughter? She doesn’t want to go. Her father is mentally and emotionally unstable and has threatened to suicide and ‘to hurt somebody’ many times. He ignores her presence when she is there and gets angry if she expresses her own opinions. He says that a female with opinions is rebelious and coniving. Yet the court says he can parent his daughter. (and theres much more to the story). To top it off when he was 19 he had a sexual relationship with a 12yo. I found this out while I was pregnant with our daughter and it partially contributed to our seperation. He defends the relationship to this day, saying that she consented and she was physically developed and they were inlove so it was okay. The court heard this and ignored it. I’m terrified. Is that what he’s going to say when our daughter wants an older boyfriend sleeping over?
It’s not okay!
What are these guys even thinking? What is anybody doing wanting an 11 or 12 year old sexually anyway? At 19 it was disgusting but even at 15… where is the boy in all this? Is he off impregnating another child while this one has his baby? I know he’s a child too, but there needs to be consquences.
There should be some pretty big consequences for those who allow it to happen too – namely the mother in the above case. What happened to parents protecting their children? She has proven herself to be unfit to parent. It is not DOCs fault. They are helping people every day, there are just too many needing help!
The courts need to get back to reality too. They claim to do what’s in the best interest of the child but cower under the current trends of shared custody and fathers rights. It shouldn’t be about the mothers right or the fathers right – it should be about who’s doing the right thing by the child. Physically, mentally and emotionally!
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Wow! I can’t belive this its really sad and i think that people should be GLAD that they acctually are not pregnant at such a young age.. she must be really busy with her life School plus taking care of a baby? I wonder how she does it!
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Wow ; sorry but that is messed upp .
Like no affence but who wants to do that at the age of 11 ; that’s wrong .
And the parents are to blame ; why would you let your 11 year old daughter share a bed with their 15 year old boyfriend .
Common ; thats messed upp ; i know my mom would never let me share a bed with a boyfriend nor let them live with me .
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Just want to let people know that the teenage pregnancy rate has decined in Australia by 1% since the introduction of the baby bonus. I work with pregnant and parenting girls in schools and I can assure you that the vast majority fall pregnant by mistake and are terrified at the thought of what the future may hold. Sometimes this is because all the adults in the lives are telling them that their pregnancy is a huge mistake.
Pregnany girls have a right to be happy and confident about their pregnancies. Why? Because happy, healthy mothers = happy, health babies.
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totally agree!
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I feel most sorry for the father or soon-to-be-grandfather. Being a separated dad puts him in the stereotypical rock and a hard place scenario – if he does nothing he is vilified for doing nothing, if he takes the child away from the situation he is in violation of parenting orders. So he did the only thing he could think to do in that situation and it still ended up going badly.
It’s such a shame that even with the new 50/50 parenting agreements it is difficult to get two adults who once liked each other to make children together to agree on what is best for those children. In a lot of ways I think the worst thing that has happened to society is the ease of divorce, when it gets a bit rough people split and then you have all the issues of single parenting, parenting plans, access visits, blended families, complex parenting plans when second families are created etc.
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Great comment Stepford Dreams – love it when someone can articulate what I’m thinking better than I can!
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Missamoo, what a great story, and you are so right. Parenting. What ever happened to that? That horrible thing when, as a kid, you weren’t allowed to do things, had to home by 6 o’clock, all your friends could, but you couldn’t, ‘cos your parents said so. And you hated them for it.
And just like you say, years later you look back and thank them for it, because you realise that you needed it, and more, to grow up.
‘Parenting’ is an endangered word. Another almost extinct word is ‘discipline’. When was the last time you read the word ‘discipline’ in the SMH, or on a blog, or heard it on the Ch 9 news? Not likely. It’s a word and a concept that is out of favour today. We treat our three year olds as though they are thirty three, and they respond, accordingly. Bullshit. By the time they’re twenty they have no idea of responsibility, life is handed to them on a platter and we wonder why they drive cars fast. And crash into people. It’s pretty bloody obvious.
These kids haven’t been subjected to that awful ‘discipline’. They’ve been left to run wild, or rather, free, as the do-gooders and tree-huggers suggest.
While we don’t want a return to the Dickensian days of child raising, we do need to recognise that the hippie and boomer philosophies haven’t worked, and that a good old bit of Depression or World War 2 discipline is probably the best thing for our kids.
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I’m sorry if this comes across as heartless, but i just wonder what happened to parenting?? This father tried to do the right thing and yet in this world where being permissive seems the easier road, no one wanted to take his side.
My grandmother was married at the age of 13 to a man of 36 she had 4 children by the age of 18 and was divorced 10 yrs later then remarried. This was Iran in the 30′s. Funny how whenever i tell people this there are gasps of horror. And yet my mother would have torn my arms off ( DOCS or no DOCS) if i had suggested a sleep over with a boy at the age of 11.
I feel like a foreigner in this country for this kind of thing, but i don’t understand why her father had no rights to fix this before it got stupid.
I most certainly don’t think the government is at fault, but someone had to make the rules that made it impossible for this father to parent his child when the mother didn’t seem to be.
Again i don’t have a real solution, all i can do is look at my own mother who has four girls and one boy and while we gave her a run for her money she never EVER lost control of us, maybe it’s unfashionable but she had control. By guilt, by design, by hook or by crook but my mother was the boss of us. Through all the teenage years when we thought we hated each other we discovered we adored her for it. And we still do!!
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Great comment, Stepford Dreams, I need to read it again to comment. Well said, well put.
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I think perhaps a few people are missing the point here. This is not a regular parental situation.
My understanding is that this is a case involving a child who is *under the care of DOCS* and this means that DOCS as a govt organisation is under a court order to provide care, support and protection to this particular child-at-risk.
It cannot be compared to blaming an ambulance driver for an accident.
Most children are cared for by one or both parents. Some children are cared for by DOCS alone or DOCS in collaboration with one or both parents in accordance with a care order of the court.
I might be wrong but from reading the articles, this is a little girl who was under the care of her unwell mother AND DOCS.
When her father raised concerns with the mother and they went unanswered he went to the other official care-giver. DOCS. So when he shouts blame at this particular govt dept it is in that context.
Mia I understand the point you are making regarding sex and I think perhaps if we were talking about 16 and 17 year old teens you might be right when you say there is no stopping them.
But come on, this little girl was 11 years old. Absolutely a little child.
Mia isn’t your son about 11? If he wanted his 15 year old girlfriend to move in and sleep in his bed you would absolutely protect him from that. This little girl’s mum was sharing the parenting with DOCS and neither the mum nor DOCS protected this little girl from the boy.
Or from herself.
11 is very very young, so is 12. The only experience I have with children of that age is through my work. An 11 or 12 year old is very much a child, and I’ve seen the most “adult” 12 year olds you can find. The ones who are in custody and even they were just little kids.
Taking her away from that older boy and placing her in a secure family home with boundaries would most certainly stop her having sex with him.
As I understand it her father lived far away from where she was with her mum so that might have been an option. If not, a foster placement away from the risky situation.
A little girl like that could have been taken to and from school and kept well away from the older boy. I understand that older teens get up to this sort of thing because they are out and about on their own, but a little girl of 11 can be shielded.
Parents AND courts can issue children with bans on who they can hang out with. And parents and assigned social workers can ensure the bans actually work… if they try.
Gosh sorry that was verbose.
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I dont think its that easy to just remove the child. There is a lot of other issues involved. I think that what happened with the child was dealt with badly, but there is a lot more to Docs than just whats reported
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People talk about the media “slamming DOCS”, as if it is victimising them.
I think we need to remember that DOCS needs to be open to scrutiny as a matter of public interest.
We are a democracy and one of the cornerstones of democracy is the ability of the media to scrutise public institutions and most importantly governments.
Criticism of DOCS in the media might sound over the top and tabloid sometimes, and I admit the media doesn’t always get it right, but it’s better than nothing, isn’t it?
On a different tack, Australia’s history of a Stolen Generation throws a whole new spanner in the works.
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I don’t think we should blame DOCS for this situation. That’s a bit like blaming ambulance drivers for car accidents or heart attacks. The problems that led to this girl’s situation started years ago, long before DOCS became involved.
For many complex problems there are no simple solutions. I agree that DOCS would benefit from more funding and that the people who dedicate themselves to this type of work can do it more effectively with our support than our condemnation, but no amount of funding will prevent every bad outcome.
Let’s face it, 99.99% of 12 year old girls do not sleep with their boyfriends or fall pregnant. This is not because DOCS is protecting them.
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I am almost 22. I live out of home with some friends. My boyfriend still lives at home with his parents. If, for any reason, we need to stay at each others places (usually because one of us drinks, and the other drives when we go out) we never ever sleep in the same bed!
Granted, we are Christians so it is a little different for us, but still. I dont feel the need to share a bed with my boyfriend at every possible opportunity.
As I said earlier, 11 year old girls should not be thinking about having sex. Having a boy sleeping in her bed is how this happened. Had her boyfriend not lived with them, they might not have had sex. I know that is fairly simplistic, but if you put temptation in their way, and they are sleeping in the same bed, they are going to get curious at some point. An 11 year old girl should NEVER be in any situation that would lead to sex.
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What? So You Drink But Your Christian?
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Rosie – I like your attitude towards your son and that’s how I aim to be with mine. You will never stop your kids from having sex when they want to whether they are ready or not. I think alot of parents of teenagers are in denial about what their kids get up to and that is not a good place to be.
Noone would have been able to stop this young girl but herself and she made the decision and now she has to deal with the consequences. It a really hard lesson for her to learn. If only her parents and/or his shared your thoughts on the matter then this baby would not have been conceived and they would have avoided this controversy.
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I have a family-member-in-law who allowed their 13 year old to have ‘grown up’ sleepovers at her boyfriend’s house. She moved in with him when she was 15.
My son is 14, and there is no freakin’ way he would be having those kinds of sleepovers. And he won’t be for quite a lot of years yet either!
And when he is ready for sex, so probably in about 12 months time (may not be ready, but they grow up sooooo fast), I will do what I did for his brothers and sisters, buy him a packet of condoms (and replace them if they need replacing), and tell him that if he is going to do it, to do it safely.
I’d rather he wait, and he knows that. But he’s a teenage boy, so I will play it safe, as much as I can.
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Damn, posted that comment without really finishing the thought behind it. What I meant was, that kids will often “want” to do things which they’re not ready for. I think it’s reasonable for there to be an expectation that parents should say “No” to some things. For example, if a child says “Mom, I want to smoke cigarettes”, is it really okay if the response is, “Sure, go ahead, take mine”?
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Good one, Tim!
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Posted by: Mia | Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 05:24 PM
“Do we think that living in a different house is going to stop a girl who wants to have sex with her boyfriend from doing it?”
It might not, but it seems that this child was not in the care of an adult who said, “At the moment, you’re too young for this.”
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So much talk about ‘taking the girl away’ and how that’s what should have been done by DOCS to prevent this girl becoming pregnant.
Do we think that living in a different house is going to stop a girl who wants to have sex with her boyfriend from doing it? Or that denying her access to contraception is going to stop her?
I’m just saying.
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There is no amount of money in the world that would get me to work for Docs. The work that they do (I can only imagine) would be soul crushing and any happy endings still bitter sweet.
Thank you to all those who work for Docs and do what I could not. You are my heros.
As for the 12yo girl, the boyfriend and the parents of them both, I really hope you give that baby the upbringing that every innocent newborn deserves. Good luck.
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My brother was a policeman for almost 30 years and has told me about the thankless job the people at DoCs perform under the most horrific circumstances. It really does take a special kind of person. The police would also go the extra mile to keep kids safe but when they finally got the case to court, many times the Magistrate didn’t support them. No wonder there is such a high burn out rate of Caseworkers.
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@ GlitterMixedWithRockNRoll – you are absolutely correct, but in this case it obviously is an issue.
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There is YM, it’s just not called that. The offence is unlawful carnal knowledge and proceeds on the same basis as statutory rape in that, while there was consent, consent could not legally be given and thus an offence has taken place.
What stops this case from being prosecuted is that there is a generally a policy that where ages are more or less the same police won’t prosecute. Whether a three year age gap is appropriate or not is of course another question.
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If only there were statutory rape in Australia, Tim. Sorry, that’s a yank-ism, more’s the pity.
Kids just should not have kids.
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I think the girls father has said he will be raising the child with his partner.
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you know what? i don’t care whose fault it is, but that twelve year old needs to give that child up. I wouldn’t want to have memories of my mother dropping me off at daycare or grandpa’s while she goes to high school.
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What’s up DoCS?
It’s the parents’ fault.It’s also DoCS’ fault.
It’s the mother’s fault for allowing such a thing to occur in her house. It’s the father’s fault for expecting the police or DoCS to do anything about it.
People blame Govt departments because people are widely acknowledged to no longer display any autonomous traits.
People fall over and sue the council. Employers are worried that they will get sued for providing references for ex-workers. Nobody is ever at fault for things that occur in their own lives.
Unfortunately, that is how it is and the Government should take responsibility accordingly. Both the police and DoCS continue to fuck up time and time again, by neglecting to act on legitimate complaints.
Too much red tape, bla bla bla. Of course if this girl’s father took matters into his own hands he’d probably get arrested.
In his position, I would go to the house, remove the 15-year-old boy, via a solid few smacks to the mouth (sick little bastard for wanting to shag an 11-year-old girl)…problem solved.
But, that’s not how it works. There is due process, which involves making official complaints that don’t get acted on cause they’re not on the way to mcdonalds.
So, it’s everyone’s fault, except apparently the boy, who is guilty of statutory rape. He’s too young to know what he’s doing or be liable, yet somehow old enough to understand where to stick his dick and to father a child.
The whole thing is sick and cringeworthy from all concerned.
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I don’t believe this was all DOCS fault – ie if the father knew why was he not protecting his child ? But a 12 year old girl having sex with a 15 year old boy – that is abuse – a 12 year old despite society’s sexualisation of ‘tweens’ is a child – many have not even developed breasts/pubic hair at this age. I am sure there were worse cases of abuse happening which was why DOCS did not pursue it but lets not kid ourselves – this is abuse & neglect plain and simple
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I just think this whole story is a sad and sorry tale.
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“Do I wish they’d prioritised this girl who was having sex with her boyfriend over a child who was being abused or malnourished or neglected? A child whose life was in danger? No, I’m afraid I don’t.”
Um, this girl was living with a mentally ill mother and her violent, abusive partner AND the 15 year old she’s pregnant to was violent as well. You don’t think this girl’s life was in danger? And now a baby’s life is too. These are the people that grow up in a vicious cycle of drugs, crime and violence, causing massive problems for themselves and society. Someone needs to step in before it gets to this.
The Government needs to take the blame: mental illness is one the most neglected and misunderstood issues in our society and it needs extra funding and attention so that these kind of things can be prevented. Think about how many murders happen in our society, committed by people who were known to Human Services and nothing was done. A new approach needs to be taken.
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Mia, I disagree.
Not all parents do a good job. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s true. It’s what keeps DoCS so busy and so stretched. The organisation’s role is to protect children who aren’t being looked after properly. And having an 11 year old sleeping in the same bed as her boyfriend and then falling pregnant? That’s a significant issue – one where DoCS should have intervened, esp. since the father raised concerns.
I know they prioritise cases, and they should. But in my mind this case should have also been a priority. And if there aren’t enough resources to make it one? Then more funding is needed.
And Linda Burney is right – the ORGANISATION failed in this instance, rather than individual case workers. I imagine case worker roles would be up there on the hideous jobs list. I have no idea how they do it. And I feel for them, because so often, their hands must be tied by their underesourcing.
Parents too need to be accuntable, but they don’t always have the resources to do so. That’s (again) where DoCS need to play a role.
I did however find it refreshing that Linda Burney was so honest about the failure of the state government to act. That’s rarely something you hear in NSW.
Down with the state government – don’t even get me started on their leadership!
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What does this have to do with DOCS?
A lot actually.
When a child is deemed “at risk” because of an unwell or unstable parent they become a client of DOCS.
DOCS (funded by our taxes)are often under an order from the Childrens Court to provide a certain level of assistance/support to the parent, and the parent often shares “responsibility” for the child with DOCS.
In this instance it sounds like the child was under the care of the mother and DOCS to some extent. I don’t know the specific details but that is my guess from reading these articles.
For some reason the father was not the resident parent but obviously had some involvment.
Obviously his concerns were not taken on board by the mother so he directed them to DOCS.
One would expect DOCS to take such concerns seriously and either take action to petition the court to remove the child from the mother’s care or begin intensive intervention.
I think it is fabulous that the media covers these stories.
How else will taxpayers hear about it? We need to hear about DOCS failings so we can lobby our govt to give DOCS more funding!!
I spent 2 years as a childrens court lawyer, it is thankless place to work and everyone there deserves a gold star.
Social workers usually try their best as do most parents, magistrates… but the system does need a massive overhaul and the more stories we hear hopefully the angrier we will become and maybe the govt will act.
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People find it easier to blame DOCS and the government rather than look at themselves and admit they are to blame. This whole thing disgusts me no end, and I believe the parents (in this case) are the ones to blame in the end. As someone said, she’s 11 years old. You go round there, physically pick her up and take her out of that home and situation, then go to Family Law to have custody changed. And if the girl complains tough luck. She obviously doesn’t know what’s good for her! If the police and DOCS were aware of the situation then the father would have been well within his rights (i think) to do something like that. And again as other people have said…where are the boys parents?
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Just want to also point out that just because a parent has a mental health issue and/or psychiatric condition does NOT automatically mean that they are incapable of providing adequate care for their child/children.
It’s really unfortunate that mental health issues are generally only ever highlighted NEGATIVELY by the media, such as in reports like this. If only the media also jumped on stories about individuals – particularly parents – who have mental health issues BUT ARE STILL FANTASTIC PARENTS.
Seriously. After working in mental health for three years, I’m really sick of this assumption. Unfortunately, the majority of people I came across held this belief – instead of it being the minority, as it SHOULD.
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FASCINATING Carly – thank you so much for your comment!
Good on you too for studying Social Work – I started uni enrolled in that program, but changed to Community Work after one year because I found it too full on for me personally. Thankfully there are people like you around, who I have no doubt will go on to be AMAZING at their job!
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Of course DOCS requires more funding.
I don’t understand though, why the blame for this situation is being levelled at DOCS.
The girl (and, apparently, her boyfriend) were living with the mother. The father and his partner, are apparently willing to take custody of the girl.
Once parenting orders are made, the Court will only change those orders if it is satisfied that there has been a significant change in circumstances to justify the orders being varied- I would assume that the 11 year old girl being allowed to enter into a sexual cohabitational relationship would constitute a significant change- hence, why did the father go to DOCS and the police and not to the family law court?
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If the mother has mental health issues, why did she have custody in the first place?
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Couldn’t agree more that DOCS MUST have more funding.However the decision makers need to get their act together, by not only supporting the parents,in cases like these,but making sure the kids have the right kind of care,which is not always from the parents…..
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Angers me, too. But I’m generally fed up with the government being blamed for all society’s ills.
The most ridiculous example I saw recently was on one of those tabloid ‘news’ shows (ACA or TT) where some woman was blaming the government for her house getting broken into. Apparently, it was their fault because (in her opinion) there should be legislation governing the quality of security doors. Clearly that would have solved everything.
As far as I can see, blaming the government simply rids people of the need to take personal responsibility for anything.
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Love the essay Carly! I agree entirely. I have a good friend who works for DOCS and she is nearing the end of her capacity to deal with anymore of these heartbreaking situations.
Like you state, most workers only last around 5 years as they are physically and emotionally drained from the horrible reality of their work load.
I also get very angry when DOCS are blamed for failing the community and failing children.
What is really needed (apart from an obvious funding increase) are stronger communities with families who know who their neighbours are and can support and assist each other in times of crisis.
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