Pammy. Almost here.

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So I’m lying awake at night thinking “What the world needs now is not Love Sweet Love but ANOTHER CELEBRITY REALITY SHOW.”
Imagine my relief when I woke up to discover my wish had been granted and Pamela Anderson was currently filming an 8-part series for E about her life. Phew.
I’ve always had a soft spot for Pammy because she’s so unashamadly trashy and doesn’t pretend to be otherwise. I may even be tempted to tune in to Big Brother this week when she enters the house. Maybe.

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(Photo: Terry Richardson)

Until then, US reporter, Andrew Goldman has done a cover story for Radar mag and here’s what he learnt about Pammy during the time he spent with her to publicise her show:

1. Although the first sex scene in her 2004 semiautobiographical novel, Star,
involves the heroine getting diddled by a girlfriend, Pam says she’s
never swung that way. “It’s really weird because I’ve never been with a
girl,” she says. “Writing about it was as far as it got.”

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2. This is an enormous disappointment to her mom.
“Lately my mother’s said, ‘I wish you were gay, considering your choice
of men.'”

3. Her mother was thrilled, however, when Anderson
took the magician’s assistant job with Amsterdam’s own Hans Klok. “My
mom’s Dutch, so she thought that was fabulous, even though she just
found out we’re Russian and not Dutch. But at that point, she still
thought we were Dutch.” Wait. What? “Long story,” Anderson says. “But
at that point, she was still collecting wooden shoes and windmills.”

4. On her television show, her children are
strictly off-limits, though, as Asher puts it, we may glimpse
“occasional backs of heads and stuff.”

5. She has a good relationship with Tommy Lee, and
thinks it likely they’ll grow old together. “I can’t get rid of him,”
she says. But their love has taken a new form. “For some reason, Tommy
has me Google Alerted,” she says. “He’ll always be like, ‘What’s this?’
‘What’s this?’ He gets every single thing. And I’m like, ‘Honey! Stop
Google Alerting me!’ He loves me. I love him. But I don’t Google Alert
him.”

6. Unless she’s totally kidding about this, before Playboy
flew her in from her dinky hometown, Vancouver Island, Canada, in 1989,
to shoot her first of 11 pictorials, she was really naive about
Hollywood. “I thought when I came to L.A. people would have parrots on
their shoulders,” she says. “I still don’t understand where that
concept came from. And I thought for sure photographers would have
pointy shoulders and big hats.” Like pirate photographers? “Yes, pointy
shoulder pads and parrots. And hats.”

7. Anyone who wishes to hire her for commercial
work should understand that she might bring along one of her best
friends, photographer David LaChapelle. “I did a commercial once for
Sirius, and I said the only way I would do it was if David directed
it,” she says. “But they didn’t want David to direct it, because he’s
not considered mainstream, and they had this other director who was
supposedly more fabulous. I said the only way I would do it was if I
had David with me. So he was hired as my companion, and he would walk
to and from the set with me. We also brought three skateboarders, an
entire circus, transvestites, and midgets. Actually, not midgets. Not
that time.”

You can read the entire interview here.

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