‘I had Christmas dinner with my husband, boyfriend, and boyfriend’s wife.’

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Readers, meet Lola B.

She’s a queer sex educator from New York City, who recently shared her unconventional relationship story with Cosmopolitan. And, um… wow.

Having been with her partner (and now husband) Evan for 15 years, Lola’s sexual preferences have certainly changed over the years. And the catalyst for that?

An affair.

While most infidelities result in a breakup or makeup, Lola and Evan didn’t quite go down that path. They decided to open their marriage up, and allow each other to date other people.


Now, Lola told the publication, Evan has a girlfriend of four years, Sheila, and Lola has two boyfriends – one of two and a half years in Dylan, and Frank, who she’s been dating for four months.

Here are some of their more curious relationship habits…


‘I say hello to his wife.’

On Wednesday, Lola writes: “Evan gets home from work early and offers to drop me off at Frank’s house because it’s on his way to run errands.”

She brings along a bag filled with “paddles and other sex toys”.

“Frank gives me hot pink mirrored clitoris earrings, which is a nice little surprise,” she adds, explaining that in her relationship with Frank, she is submissive, and he is dominant.

“Since I know I’ll be seeing Dylan in a few days, I ask Frank not to bruise me, something I normally enjoy. It’s not a secret that I’m kinky with Frank but I haven’t asked Dylan how he feels about bruises.

“… After we fool around, I make the bed. I always do at Frank’s. It’s my little way of saying hello to his wife. She knows it’s me because he hates making the bed.”

Because of course!

And now for a marriage that looks a little, well, different. (Post continues…)

‘Christmas dinner was a bit different…’

You see, all of the partners involved in Lola and Evan’s lives know about each other: “all of us, including Frank’s wife, had Christmas dinner together.”

While Lola admits it was awkward at first, and was apprehensive as to how the group would, erm, gel, she says “everyone got along”.

“It felt really natural. I was worried about all of us relating to one another, but we were all chatting and laughing.”

My head is spinning. SPINNING.

‘I want my husband to look nice for her.’

On Saturday, Lola shares that she’s helping her husband get ready for his weekend away with his girlfriend Sheila, writing: “I help him pick out his outfit.”

"I help him pick out his outfit." (Image: iStock)

"I want to make sure he has the right clothes for the weekend she has planned. He needed something dressy casual to wear to a nice restaurant and party they were attending, and he hates picking outfits."

'Texting can be a dilemma.'

Surely some form of jealousy comes into this arrangement, right?


Lola and Evan can run into tricky territory when messaging their lovers - something that can breed resentment and an unhealthy curiosity.

"Evan and I don't tell each other whom we're texting," Lola told Cosmopolitan. "When we first opened up our marriage, that was information we felt we needed to share."

"Now, as long as texting isn't taking us away from quality time together, it's not a big deal. We'll ask, 'Do you mind if I leave the room?' if we need privacy, but it's not about asking for permission, it's more about consideration, especially if we're in the middle of watching a TV show together."

You can read the full diary here. *Names have been changed to protect privacy

Are you in an open relationship? Share your experience with us in the comments below...


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