I’m from Queensland. Which means that for pretty much my entire life I’ve spent Christmas Day in somebody’s swimming pool; I have a friend of a friend of a friend who knows the drummer in Powderfinger; and I’ve been obsessed with South-East Queensland introducing daylight savings for as long as I can remember.
For years I have whined and grumbled and bitched about the fact that Queensland is backwards for not offering it.
When Brad and I decided to (temporarily) move to Adelaide, I was excited. Wine! Haigh’s Chocolates! Daylight Saving! WOO! And then I moved here. And you know what? I frickin’ hate daylight saving*. HATE. IT. I hate Daylight Saving the way Donald Trump hates a windy day. I mean, trying to put a toddler to bed at 7.30pm when it’s still bright outside is a special kind of hell. My toddler Ava and I have this conversation about 34 times every night:
“Mummy is it night-time?”
“Yes darling.”
“Is that the sun?”
“Yes.”
“So it’s daytime?”
By the fifth time, Mummy can’t answer because Mummy is under the table with a large bottle of scotch. Rocking. Back and forth. In the foetal position.
So all this got me thinking about things I thought I’d love until I actually, well, you know TRIED THEM. Things like:
1. Mad Men (sorry, I watched one episode and found it depressing. I refuse to tune in until Larry Tate** does a cameo)
2. Jazz Ballet for Adults (I did a class about ten years ago and nearly had my eye poked out from so many women doing jazz hands)
3. Lord of the Rings: the books, the movies, the tupperware (Zzzzzzz)
4. Sea Monkeys as advertised in Archie comics (All I’m going to say is, There are no crowns, people. THERE ARE NO CROWNS. )
5. Sweetbreads (Excuse me? I don’t think PANCREAS should be called “sweetbreads” on a menu. It’s false advertising.)
6. Using a fit ball to sit on while at my desk (I liked the idea of this until I actually tried to sit on an ENORMOUS BALL WHILE AT MY DESK. I’m sorry, what?)
8. Los Angeles.
9. Donnie Darko. (Seriously WTF?)
10. Cheese in a jar (I never really thought I’d like it but I was prepared to give it a whirl. #fail)
11. Pilates (Nobody actually likes pilates. Think about it? Do any of those pilates poeple look happy? No, no they don’t. They’re all grim faced and angry-sweaty)
* Before the pro-daylight saving brigade come after me with pitchforks, I’d like to say that I’m quite happy to put aside my own hatred for it and do what is best for the majority of the population. Just don’t expect me not to whinge.
** Darrin’s advertising boss in Bewitched. How could you not know that?
So what things did you think you’d love until you actually experienced them?
Top Comments
University. I did really well in high school and graduated with the highest tertiary entrance score possible. I was so excited about uni and all it had to offer. Boy was I wrong! I hated every second of it. I felt lonely, aimless, overwhelmed, poor, and completely unsatisfied. After a few fails and a belated gap year that turned into a gap-two-years, I did finish my degree but I didn't end up working in the field. I will never go back to uni study - those were the unhappiest days of my life!
Something that makes me cringe is the way radio DJs often talk so inanely and lacking in wit - just play the music and announce it in a low key way, thanks! I often feel embarrassed for them.