Comments on: BEC: Her life looked perfect on TV. But she was passing out drunk up to five nights a week…..

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 10:47:01 +0000

I find it quite ironic that I read this article with a wine glass in my hand. Alone.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 23:52:10 +0000

I was married to an alcoholic for around 8 years and made the difficult (but right) decision to leave him about 5 years ago when his drinking started to escalate to violence. Throughout that difficult time I spend a lot of time with AL-ANON groups and attending AA groups (they welcome people who are indirectly affected by alcohol abuse and you can attend any AA meeting as an observer). I feel that many of the people commenting on this story misunderstand alcoholism. It is actually NOT about how much or how often you drink or whether you drink alone or with others. You are an alcoholic if your PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP in life is with alcohol. My ex-husband would not entertain the idea of not drinking in order to save his marriage (and this was a man who was regularly polishing off 3 bottles of wine in one evening and then flying into a fit of rage when I tried to stop him from opening a 4th bottle). It became very clear he valued his relationship with alcohol above his marriage – so I left. In his particular case, we was self-medicating with alcohol as a way to escape from his own demons – in including his childhood memories of his own alcoholic father being violent towards his mother and family. AL-ANON is a fantastic organisation and I would not have had the strength to “let go” and move on with my life without the support of that group. If you are trying to stop someone else from drinking you REALLY REALLY need to go to one of their meetings. http://www.al-anon.org/australia/

By: Grant

Grant — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 04:33:51 +0000

My wife is an alcoholic I do not know what to do she gets help yet she still drinks and justify’s everything she does.
I am not perfect she she attacks me and does so inffront of the kids.
Of alcohol she is a wonderful person her beuty is equall to few in the world.
We have 3 beutiful kids I have been with for fouteen yeards ranging from 2 weeks of eighteen 16 and my daughter who is eight. They are all wonderful human beings.
My wife has had the polics around here for the last three days saying that I am abusive.
I am trying to stop her from drinking no easy feat when You have just had a full knee reconstruction.
I have never hit her I can’t say the same for her.
I cannot go on like this. Its killing me her and our kids.
I hate that she is allowed to drink as much as she wants unless she needs medical attention the poilice said today and their is nothing I can do about it.
This world is so wrong…..
Although the police have been helpful and I appreciate their efforts.
Regards.
G.

By: Buckets

Buckets — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 05:51:58 +0000

My wife of 26 years was and is a binge drinker. I tried everything to get her to stop, but every time I brought it up, I was attacked. I finally accepted that I could not put up with the drinking and abuse any longer and left. I have not been happier and she continues to drink herself into a stupor every night. Accordingly, I am the worst person in the world…

By: paul b

paul b — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 04:33:46 +0000

you need help , there’s groups . lol.

By: Keryn Campbell

Keryn Campbell — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 09:46:46 +0000

If you’re dependent on anything, be it alcohol, coke, food or whatever then it’s a problem. Just because one is more socially acceptable than the other doesn’t make it better. Don’t smugly pat yourself on the back too soon.

By: Kait

Kait — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 08:41:41 +0000

Yes yes yes! To all of this. I don’t drink I don’t really have a reason I guess I just stopped drinking once I moved to the city and didn’t have as many friends then I started working weekends and now when I drink I’m drunk after just one. I just don’t see the appeal. People always try to get me to drink, they love to say “just one won’t hurt” or they always ask why I don’t drink and when I say I just don’t they try to force it thinking there’s a big secret to my reasoning. It really frustrates me. Why question someone’s choices when they aren’t affecting anyone else? Rant over

By: Judycin

Judycin — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 01:50:19 +0000

I don’t drink alcohol but am constantly harangued about the “evils” of Coke! I don’t like talking about why I don’t drink but sometimes I’m forced to just to shut people up. They’re usually the drunk ones.

By: Oceans

Oceans — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 21:32:35 +0000

I agree, Hmmm.

When I was 17, a friend was killed by a drunk driver. After that, I was so paranoid about it that I never drank so that I could drive myself and friends to clubs etc safely. I actually found that I had a BETTER night out than those who were drinking, because I could absorb the atmosphere, hold conversations… and then of course remember it the next day

By: hellopetal

hellopetal — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 21:28:01 +0000

Oh Katie, I really feel for you. Ultimately what you do in your family life is your decision. It took my mum a long time to leave. She was raised that you simply don’t divorce but after years of emotional & psychological abuse she sought separation & then divorce from my dad. It was less scary living with mum in a smaller house than it was having the big house, two cars, two tvs etc that we had as a family. When I saw my dad he would visit me & it would invariably end in a shouting at my mum because we weren’t coming back. His visits were never about me & I never felt real love from him.

My dad died a a year & a half ago. I had been out of contact with him for about eight years. I spoke to him daily when he was in palliative care but I made the decision not to go & see him before he died. He knew I’d made this decision too but it was the best I could do for my own family which had to take precedence for me. In one conversation he asked if he had seemed angry to me as a child. I replied that I was very scared of him most of the time. He apologized for that & told me why he’d been so angry. The reason had nothing to do with me but children don’t know that, they only pick up on the emotion & they fill in the blanks with the rest.

My sister & I are damaged adults. We have had some horrendous experiences in our lives. We both had PND with our first & only kids. There has been rape, domestic violence, mental health issues, drug problems. Not all of these things are directly attributable to our upbringing but the emotional/psychological pattern of childhood & how you take that into adulthood affects your ongoing relationships. It can take a long time to unravel & undo & work out how to be strong & true to yourself.

I am guessing that it is harder to be the partner because you love them & in the good times you will excuse them anything because you love them. My mum was brave. Mind you she is now in another co-dependent relationship & has been for over twenty years but that ‘s obviously her stuff from her own upbringing & personality.

I’m happily married. We have a beautiful daughter & I still have to watch my moods with her. Because the legacy of how you are parented can come up when you are stressed & you unconsciously fall back on what you know, not on what you want to do better. I have to be aware of myself & be the better person that I know I can be.

I wish you all the strength & luck in the world, Katie.