by LUCY ORMONDE
My Nanna isn’t the marijuana type. Not as far as I know, anyway. Dope is the word she calls my Grandpa when he confuses the dryer with the washing machine. And if Gran spots a weed in the garden it’s ripped out quicker than you can say ‘Tally-Ho.’
I’m guessing the same probably can’t be said for this elderly couple in the UK. They’ve just been busted by the police for growing a GIANT CANNABIS PLANT in the backyard of their country home. Oh boy.
UK press reports:
Police who seized the bush in a drugs bust at the couple’s Bedford home on Friday and said it was the biggest they had seen.
After the drugs raid Bedfordshire Police took to Twitter to comment their find and posted a photo of the bush growing in what looks like an ordinary suburban garden.
The tweet from Bedford Borough’s local policing team read: ‘Seized today. Elderly couple bought shrub at car boot sale, tended carefully-biggest cannabis plant we had seen!!’
Whoops.
.
Apparently the couple weren’t aware that the plant they’d bought at a car boot sale a few weeks ago was actually a cannabis plant. (I’m guessing they also didn’t know why their grandkids wanted to visit so often either.)
So you can imagine the look on their faces when the police walked in and told them the plant they were growing effectively made them criminals.
Embarrassing? Sure. But they’re not alone. I have one friend whose mum thought ‘wanker’ was a compliment and only realised after she’d used it in a sentence. MORE THAN ONCE.
As for Grandma and Grandpa Ganja, the police recognised the couple had made a mistake and no charges were laid.
The plant, however, was seized and destroyed. Which was probably for the best because, let’s face it, nobody likes it when Nanna’s stoned. She eats all the Cheezels.
Would your grandparents know a pot plant if they saw one? What’s the most embarrassing thing you, your parents or your grandparents have ever done?
Comments
28 Comments so far
My nanna got banned from smoking joints by her partner and daughter…
the reason was she couldn’t inhale and was wasting all their precious dope.
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My girl guide leader had a lovely shrub growing by her letter box – pruned regularly, well fertilized, and completely illegal. She found out when her policewoman daughter came home for Christmas!
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My grandad never drank, said it was the devils drink.
When he died I had to help gran with the garden. Down the back behind the shed were 3 small pot plants. I asked gran and she had no idea, when I told her she said grandad must have thought they were tomatoes. Thing is my grandad had a botany degree and ran a nursery for years.
Later when gran died we were sorting through their library and found a small collection on the medicinal and commercially uses of hemp.
Sly old bugger.
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My Nan and Grandad went to Spain on holiday and brought us some souvenir T – shirts back. They were of the flintstones…. until you looked closer and they were Flint -STONED!! Barney and Wilma had huge joints in the mouths!! The worst thing was we had been wearing for a while before my parents even noticed! By which point we loved them and didn’t want to take them off, my parent’s turned a blind eye as our innocent minds knew no different!
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My grandad used to own a rental house on some land out of town. When the tenants moved out, he and nana went to clean it up/repaint etc and he found the remnants of a hydroponic marajuana operation. Granded knew exactly what it was, but nana was so cute – she thought it was hydroponic tomatoes they were growing, and couldn’t for the life of her understand why the previous tenants would want to use their living room as a veggie patch.
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Yeah right! just a thought all those pot smoking people in 60s and 70s are now grandparents.
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There are certain smells that I associate with grandmas, being mothballs, potpourri and butter on Sao biscuits.
I’m not sure that I’m ready to add bong smoke to that list.
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I had those marijuana leaf shaped earrings as a teenager. Being the obnoxious teenager I was, was having an arguement with my mother one day and she told me to “take those ridiculous star earrings out”. She had no idea what they represented, but her instincts were right on the knocker.
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I wouldn’t know what a pot plant looks like, the closest I have ever come to one was back in grade 6 when the local police came to our school to do a talk on drugs and brought a joint and a bag of weed with him, I’ve seen pictures and on telly, but I wouldn’t back my ability to identify one.
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My grandmother was very proud of the “dildo” rail that she had put on her living room walls. We never did managed to get her to understand that it was a dado rail!!
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My uncle set my grandpa (who lives in the UK) up with Skype on his laptop so we could video call eachother. The first time we set up a call, my grandpa (bless him!) had the telephone in his hand and was talking into it!
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We had a policeman friend of ours tell us that he had to go to the local show and take a grandma’s floral arrangement away because she’d included some poppies – the kind you can make heroin from… The only thing she was desperate to know was if the judging had been done!
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I vividly remember hanging out in the lounge room as a teenager with my friends and my granny dropped by for a visit. She said she’d just been to the hairdresser’s for a blow job. Bless her, whenever I go for a blow dry now I think of her!
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My friend’s nan talks about ‘those nice lesbian cucumbers’ when she means ‘Lebanese.’ I hope she means ‘Lebanese’.
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That’s GOLD!! When I was a tween I was mortified that my mum would innocently (and despite my and my brother’s best efforts to educate her about the difference) order “wedgies” at food outlets rather than “wedges”. It seems so tame and lame now, but back in the early 90s when wedges became all the rage, we were highly embarrassed (whilst, I think, secretly thinking it was funny on a lesser-acknowledged level!!!).
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I’ll just put the issue aside for a moment and say AWESOME intro paragraph – still laughing!
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Best Nana ever!
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Oops that was meant to be in reply to the gangnam style nana lol
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I’m a grandparent, and I know pot plants. I’m too embarrassed to answer the 2nd part of your question.
I also know those people did NOT buy that “a couple of weeks ago”…it’s huge.
lol
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My stepmother who is a grandmother, purchased a pirated DVD called ‘Lord of the rings’ whilst holidaying in an Asian country. It wasn’t until she got home and popped her glasses on that she realised it was a very adult version of the blockbuster!
Hehehe
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that’s gold!
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My brother “acquired” some pot plants when we were in high school and planted them under Mum’s ferns which she watered everyday so she was unwittingly watering my brothers plants without realising they were even there. They were the healthiest plants ever.
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A very similar thing happened to my grandparents years ago! They owned a caravan park and one day the police asked her where she got the marijuana plant from. She thought the previous residents of a caravan had left a tomato plant behind and she had been looking after it for them!
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My Gran went to the Carrara markets on the Gold Coast and bought a beautiful pair of earrings.
What she didn’t know is that they were marijuana leaves. Nobody had the heart to tell her.
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My Nan sent me a video of her doing the gangnum style dance with the message Look who learnt to dance gangbang style! I NEARLY died!
The biggest question I have is WHO sells a marijuana plant at a car boot sale??
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That’s totally awesome. Respect!
Best of luck to you and your dancing Nan.
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I had a friend in high school who carefully tended to some cannabis plants in his backyard, and told his mum they were tomato plants. She was constantly talking about his “green thumb” and saying she couldn’t wait until they start fruiting…
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This happened to my grandmother! Without the drug bust though.
Many many years ago, my mum went to visit her mum, and was shown “The new plant that just looks so pretty I had to buy it!”
My grandmother was horrified that she was tending to an illegal substance. My mum took great pleasure in pointing it out!
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