By JAMILA RIZVI
Tick tock. Gulp. Well, this is confronting. There are apps to keep track of your period, to monitor weight loss and to measure the pace of your morning run.
And now there is The Wonder Clock app that can tell you how long you have before your eggs dry up.
The Wonder Clock counts down the years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds until a woman becomes infertile. It’s very helpful because without this clever new piece of technology, the whole ‘having kids’ option might just slip your mind. Whoops, I forgot to have a baby.
The app was created by an Amercian woman, Mira Kaddoura who says she wanted to ‘empower’ (there’s that word again) women to be able to face their fears about infertility. Kaddoura came up with the idea after a doctor raised the issue unexpectedly during a checkup.
After you download the app, you just plug in your date of birth and the Wonder Clock generates this horrible, pulsating, neon pink numerical sign.
The Wonder Clock website is Mira’s own clock. However since she has declined to reveal her own age, we have no way of knowing the formula that the wonder clock uses, or at what age it ‘stops’. The accuracy of the app is pretty questionable given that age is the only factor it considers – forgetting that quality of sperm, diet, lifestyle issues, weight and a range of other health factors can also affect fertility. (If you’re actually concerned about fertility, then you talk to someone who can consider all of this, like, say a DOCTOR).
Mira
Once your download is complete, the neon sign ticks down slowly, methodically and you can literally watch the fertile years of your life being whittled away.
And then… BOOM.
We haven’t been told what actually happens when the clock runs out but we presume that your iPhone just explodes.
Or perhaps there is just a loud siren, accompanied by a flashing sign that says “INFERTILE WOMAN – APPROACH AT YOUR OWN RISK”.
What we do know for sure, is that we no longer need fussy old aunts, asking us if we’ve found a fella and discreetly whispering “time is moving on dear, you’re not as young as you used to be, tick tock, tick tock.”
Now you can have that constant nagging with you at all times – and for the bargain basement price of just $1.95.
Would you use the Wonder Clock app? Do you or did you worry about your biological clock? Has a doctor every broached the subject with you or anyone you know?
Comments
63 Comments so far
I’ve already got one of those I call it ‘My Mum’
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I suffer from chronic mental illness. Imagine how hard it is to find a bloke who loves me as I am and is willing to have babies with me. Imagine how hard it will be for me to manage all the work of being a mum. Imagine the guilt, indecision, heartbreak and confusion. Now imagine hearing of an app like this…
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Don’t worry. We men will fix ALL of that. By the Gods we men are fantastic. Right now, we can make babies better than a female. We are now been able to create a genetically perfect ova from stem cells so we don’t have to take one from a female which would be genetically imperfect. Very soon we will be able to grow babies in vitro so there is never a concern about what a female may ingest. So, by 2020, there will be new clinics popping up in competition to IVF. The difference is, the new clinics, while being more expensive, will have a 100% success rate compared to 15% by IVF. So, if you have the money you can pay the clinic to make a baby for you which will be perfect and will not put any strain on your body at all. It’s also great for men too. The clinic can guarantee 100% paternity so a man can order a baby without having to deal with females at all just like females today. It’s just all so fantastic that it’s mind blowing
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Thinking of purchasing this app just to prove to my mum that I’m still in a fertile time of life. I’m 25, by the way. I know anything could (or could not) happen when I decide to have kids, but the poor love seems to think that because I didn’t pop kids out at 22 I’m well past my use-by date. ‘look, ma! The app says I’ve still got 14 years!’
Seriously though, I’d prefer to trust blood tests than an app. Although, if you only want to know a rough estimate of when your fertility is supposed to decline based on your age without taking other factors into consideration (general health, family history, partner’s fertility) , $1.95 is cheaper than a visit to the doctor! (I’m joking. I’d go to the doctor.)
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After two years of nothing but miscarriages, my 37th birthday looming and friends who are the same age or older than me announcing pregnany news and births every five godammed minutes, the last thing I need is an app reminding me how inadequate I am. This app is not ‘empowering’ it’s deflating. Life is hard enough as it is for women.
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Vanessa, you are not inadequate, you are unlucky… so far. Nobody knows what lies ahead in the often random twists and turns of life. Life can be hard, that’s for sure, but please don’t think you are lacking in anything. There is no skill involved in getting pregnant. It happens… or it doesn’t… and this can often be outside our control, even with all the medical advances that have been made. I truly hope that some good news will lie ahead for you too.
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I meant to say ‘There is no skill involved in getting pregnant or staying pregnant’. Sorry – wasn’t able to edit!
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Thanks x
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can really relate – so sorry to hear you’ve been going through this as well- I just had another miscarriage at almost 11 weeks under a month ago. Then last week was my 39th birthday – whoopee….
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Sometimes being a woman just sucks. x
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I can’t believe what a load of bullshit that app is! Your date of birth has slightly more than nothing to do with the end of your fertility. (I wonder what age the app counts down to?)
Fertility plummets after 35 and the “normal” range of menopause is 45-55, but it varies enormously. I’m 44 and am having hot flushes and perimenopausal symptoms, as is a 37 year old friend, one of my high school classmates has an 11 month old baby (naturally conceived), and my sister’s PA was still menstruating at age 57.
If you want to know how long you have left, go ask your doctor.
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I wasnt aware that doctors could tell you when your menopause was going to start.
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I’m not sure if they can either, although I’ve heard of tests, but they have more chance of doing so than a phone app.
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Well, I am only just 36 and have just found out that I am going into early menopause, thank goodness I was set on having my first baby before I turned 30 and am now lucky enough to have 3 gorgeous boys, I am just so thankful that I didn’t put off having kids. I honestly think to many women do take for granted that they will be able to get pregnant whenever they like but sadly that is just not the case. In saying that though I think the app is a ridiculous idea but the blood test is an awesome one.
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If you dont mind me asking, how did you find out you were going through early menopause??
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I need an App to find my keys.
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and my mobile phone!
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who would buy this?? in all seriousness?
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I am thinking of buying the app so I can find out when I will no longer be fertile, because I already have 3 kids and I am 41 and I want to stop taking birth control!!!
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It’s a load of rubbish; save your money and go to the doctor.
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Yes, I agree. The App is crap – unless anyone wants to use it to get an anxiety attack. In saying this, it has raised some awareness and discussion about infertility. You can’t plan for infertility. No test will tell you what the quality of your eggs are. No one can prepare you for you the words ‘we are dealing with significantly bad eggs here’. IVF doesn’t always work. All of my test results were great.
Celebrities are having babies through the use of an egg donor. Adoption is also not easy – not in terms of getting a child but in terms of dealing with that child’s emotions and pasts.
I foster a child and have just started my fourth IVF cycle, but this time with an egg donor http://www.littlepleasures.blog.com If you plan to have children and if you’re ready…just do it!!
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Thank you for your comment! This app is part of an Art project meant to start a conversation about child bearing and as you said “it has raised some awareness and discussion about infertility” so the artist made her point. The number ii counts down to- which you’ll know is 44 if you download the app- is an average (as is said in a disclaimer) that the artist got by talking to doctors. No way it was supposed to be a replacement to an actual doctor consultation. Each person and body is different.
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Head. Desk.
Anyone want a slightly shop soiled uterus??
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The AMH Test was the best $60 I have spent! It is a blood test on your ovarian reserve – aka how many eggs you have left. I am only 30 years old and my level was that of pre-menopausal woman! I wasn’t even thinking of having babies but after finding this result out I quickly changed my mind as I didn’t want to miss out. As expected due to my poor ovarian reserve I am now on round three of IVF. I know I will eventually have a bub (hopefully) but if you are like me and think you’ve still got years left to conceive – GET THE TEST!!! It will probably be fine,and you will have years left, but if it’s not good at least you have time up your sleeve to do something it. Because once your eggs are gone, that’s it. (Other than donor). I understand there are a million reasons for infertility but if it weren’t for a friend getting this test and convincing me to then I would have left it too late. Even if you don’t want kids now, if you have poor ovarian reserve at least you have the option to freeze your eggs until you do. Sorry for the rant, I just wish I had of known about this simple test earlier, probably would have saved a lot of money on IVF etc. Ask you GP for an AMH blood test next time you go to the doc. So worth it!
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True, this is supposed to be a very good test. I had it done when I was 39 and had broken up with my partner, as I wanted to freeze some eggs or look at IVF with a donor etc (long story why I hadn’t had children before this – mainly because of a precarious relationship for the five years prior). My AMH test said that I was infertile and the doctors I saw advised me to not even try IVF as there was no ovarian reserve there to even stimulate.
Fast forward twelve months, in a new relationship, and after both having STD checks, had unprotected sex and bang, pregnant immediately. I did miscarry at seven weeks, as I had no idea I could fall pregnant as I was soundly told by more than one doctor that I was definitely infertile, and was doing things I should not have been doing if pregnant (nothing really terrible, just some alcohol, saunas and taking herbs not meant for pregnancy).
So, this test is really useful for finding out where your ovarian reserve is up to – but it is not absolutely definitive if it is very low. I am proof of that.
I haven’t tried to fall pregnant again, because my relationship is very new, but we’re going strong so in the next few months we will stop using protection again and just see what happens. I’ve grieved for not having children already, so I will leave it up to nature, knowing that it happened once, and the possibility exists that it could happen again, although unlikely.
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I completely agree Summer. I do think it’s great that the AMH test is available, as it can perhaps help some women make choices about when they start a family, but I also had an AMH test done after having four consecutive miscarriages after the birth of my eldest son. My AMH test showed that I had low ovarian reserve, but I fell pregnant with my second son the following month, and I’ve actually had nine pregnancies in total (including a number of miscarriages), and I have always fallen pregnant on the first month of trying. As I mentioned below too, an AMH test can give you an indication of how many eggs you have left, but can’t tell you how healthy those eggs are. Interestingly, when I had the AMH test done, I also had some of the other fertility tests done (FSH, LH and other hormone tests, an inhbin B test, an antral follicle count etc.) and those results were all very good, so I think the AMH test can be misleading on its own. It’s helpful, but definitely doesn’t tell the whole story.
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How about one for men based on when they are likely to get erectile dysfunction, or how much their sperm deteriorates each year.
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And yet there’s no app to lower house prices, force every employer to honour their obligation to provide female employees maternity leave (and a job to go back to afterwards) or pay childcare workers more.
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Love this!
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At 40 Bam! Got preggas in two weeks. I don’t mean this all gloaty I was worried cause of all the biological clock relentless crap we have to endure that told me it would never happen. I am deeply sorry for women and men who have the awful struggle to get pregnant. But none of the stupid app, book, tv dr segment crap helps anyone! And people who choose not to do it at all are fine with me. I’m over the kids ‘ complete me’ argument. There are loads of satisfying pathways in life. That was a bit of a rant. As you were.
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Obviously, this ap is rubbish. BUT, i was very surprised when my very intelligent brother thought that his 30 so,ething year old wife would have no problems getting pregnant up to 40, after all, celebrities do it all the time!
Maybe we need a version for men? (joke)
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It’s no joke. My experience is that men are actually much more ill informed about this issue than women.
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Yes! My husband is convinced that because I am so young-looking on the outside, that I will have no problems having a baby until I am 45.
What kind of crazy f-ed up logic is that?!
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Yeh like when my husband said “we have plenty of time” – uh yeh NO!
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My man is going the other way. I’m 22, he’s 29 and he’s worried for no particular reason that he is getting ‘old balls’ and wants to knock me up ASAP. Silly boy!
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From nearly 30yo me to 22yo you…take that offer while its valid!!
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On the other hand… if I’d listened to a 30 year old when I was 22 who told me to get pregnant in a hurry (I am 32 now by the way) I’d not have lived my life quite the same way.
Tried out an acting career for a few years, travelled the world, studied at Oxford, written a book, climbed a mountain in Switzerland, taken cooking classes in Italy, flamenco’d in Madrid, seen the New York ballet perform in Athens on a sweltering summer night, sailed the Greek islands getting a superb tan, seen the world’s best museums and galleries, worn fabulous shoes and clothes (without guilt for the spend), made love spontaneously many times, spent many birthdays in a day spa, bought my home, started my business, gotten another degree, had my fabulous adopted dog / personal mascot, flirted with handsome strangers, etc.
I can live the rest of my days without worrying I might resent my babies for stealing my career or my youth. I’ve had a fabulous, independent youth that has given me rich memories and made me strong and feel very capable.
Live your life, enjoy your health, it’s OK to have selfish time if that suits you, do think about having a child if that’s important to you, but there’s no ‘perfect’ time.
My main message? Don’t make decisions out of fear. Everyone has a different schedule.
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This is a very interesting discussion as I’m about to turn 31, and still don’t feel certain about kids.
My partner and I (not married, but was long-term committed) are going through a really rough patch at the moment and are actually taking a break.
In the past month or so while we have been on the break, I have been given a lot of grief by close friends and family – along the lines of, “he’s a decent guy so if you want to have a family you should just go ahead and do it, regardless of whether or not he’s right for you”.
I don’t think we are all put on this earth solely to have children…and the older I get, the less certain I am that having kids is something I want to do.
While I do love my sisters’ kids, I am not sure whether I will ever want to give up my life for a child’s – which if all parents are brutally honest, is what must happen for the next couple of decades while family is growing up.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that life is short, you never know what might be round the corner – and there is more than one way to have a family.
People who say they desperately want kids but will not consider anything other than biological children should have a good, hard think about why they want a family. Adoption is a valid option – sure, it’s a hard road to hoe in the beginning, but no more difficult than IVF or using a surrogate in terms of financial and emotional cost!
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What a load of crap.
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Haha, worst of the worst apps
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I think a “death clock” would be practical.
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Ah, like Karl Pilkington’s watch that counts down your life. When you get to 3 days left go and see the doctor. Classic!
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I know this tool is a waste of money and very likley misleading as fertility is subject to so many individual factors but is it possible there might be a smidgin of value here? There do seem to be a lot of women who don’t realise how fast fertility starts to drop (on average) after the early to mid 30s and find getting pregnant much more difficult than it would have been earlier. I realise it’s not a lot of good to you if you aren’t in a situation that allows you to get pregnant but if it assists in making better and easier choices it could be a good thing in some cases.
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You absolutely got what this artist was trying to do with this project. God bless.
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This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. Does this mean my biological clock will stop ticking at the exact same time as every woman in the world that shares my date of birth? I think not. What a waste of money.
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This app will tell you nothing, except that you have just wasted $1.95. It is absolutely useless. There are far too many variables involved with fertility for this stupid ‘one size fits all’ approach. It really is something that should be discussed with your GP.
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This app is a total sham. If a woman wants to know how fertile she is at any age and feels that she may be infertile or ‘running out of time’ she can have a simple blood test that will tell her exactly how her eggs are.
As an egg donor (I have two kids of my own) I have had this test and I have since told friends who are in their late 30s about it who have then gone and had the test via their GP or specialist. It has been hugely beneficial for them, either because they now know they should start trying ASAP or because they know they are actually good for their age. I now have a friend who is considering freezing her eggs for future use as she has no partner now and is getting towards 40.
An app like this is not only useless but detracts from a very real issue and potentially diverts women from seeking professional advice.. Actually pisses me off that it is even allowed
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Thank you for that information Jess. I am 24 years old with severe endometriosis. As i have tried all treatment avenues at this stage, bar menopausal inducing medication, the GPs advice was “your married, go have a baby!” I have been in complete panic since….just going ahead and having a baby because your biological clock ‘might’ be ticking is not a good enough reason to have children when you are not ready…is it??
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It’s not, but if you think you ever might like kids it isn’t a bad reason.
With a Mum with endometriosis that meant she had a hysterectomy at the ripe old age of 27 (luckily she had had three kids by then) and my own issues, I was keenly aware that if I wanted to have kids I should make sure I did it early so that I didn’t miss out on my chance. I knew my body was going to have its own timetable (and would not be considerate enough to wait for whatever timetable I might have in my head!) so as soon as my husband and I were at all ready we went ahead and did it, as we couldn’t imagine not having any kids at all. As it was I was in my mid twenties and still needed help to conceive my first (not IVF, but if you go down this route you will find that IVF is far from the only thing you will try if you need to). Some things in life are determined by factors out of our control and it sounds like you have a good few reasons to start seriously thinking about this one.
On the other hand if kids just aren’t in your picture of your future, then no it definitely isn’t a reason to have kids! If you do want them though, may I respectfully suggest that with the advice you are getting you should seriously think about what you (and your husband) want.
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Jess, I agree with you that women wanting to get a better idea of ‘how much time they have left’ fertility-wise should go and have an AMH test, as you suggest, although an AMH test can still not pinpoint anything that precisely, and while it can give you an idea of how many eggs you have left, it can’t tell you how healthy those eggs are, so a woman with a low ovarian reserve might in fact have a smaller number of high-quality eggs (therefore have a better chance of conceiving a healthy baby), while a woman with a higher AMH level might have a large number of poorer-quality eggs, meaning she might have more trouble conceiving, or might be more likely to miscarry. Also, there are other tests (such as inhibin B, FSH, antral follicle count checks etc.) that should really be done in combination with an AMH test to give you a better picture of how fertile you may or may not be. Then of course, the quality of the father’s sperm is a big factor too… In short, I guess what I’m trying to say is that fertility is a complex issue to determine, and certainly one that requires a lot more information than a phone app can give you!
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Spot on! As a general rule, a GP will generrally do a AMH test first of all and then asses.. The main thing is, if you have good reserves, you can consider freezing for future use. Not enough people know about this simple test.
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I agree that the reliabilty of this app is extremely questionable, and I think it trivialises an important issue. This is something a woman should be discussing with her GP and if there are concerns about fertility for any reason there are more appropriate ways to measure/test it that are 100s of time more accurate.
Its a bit dumb and a money grab in my opinion, does everything need to have an app?
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Considering I’ve fell pregnant 3 times on the pill, the last time whilst breastfeeding and not having had a period return since baby number 2, I’m quite looking forward to the end of my fertitity.
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I’m 35. And widowed/single. I’m well aware that I’m never going to have children. Sometimes it makes me sad. So I don’t really need my phone to remind me . . .
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I met my husband at 35 (after a long term relationship finally went bust). I’m due to have our second in 9 weeks, and will turn 40 next year. I’m very lucky but it can happen.
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I’m so very sorry. I’ve read your posts before, and this just breaks my heart.
xo
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I often read your posts and I’m so sorry to hear you are a widow at such a young age. I never thought I would have many kids but had 3 in less than 3 years (3rd one a real surprise). Life can very suddenly turn a corner, you’re still young.
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Ugh, like I need another reminder that time is running out. How depressing.
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Wow, I can imagine “well-meaning” friends and family gifting something like this.
Who would buy it for herself??
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I’m twenty-two years old and don’t think that I want kids ever, yet this concept still makes me uneasy. I can only imagine the fear it would engender in women who are facing fertility difficulties. I understand that this was probably invented as a bit of fun, but I feel it would be quite depressing and scary to see that clock count down.
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I was practically voted the “most unlikely to ever have kids” by family & friends. Like you, I didn’t want kids at 22. Or 25. Or 28. At 40, I now have 3. Never say never…..
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Drink!
Women are meant to have babies don’t you know!…after years of expectations you’ll cave too…
I hope you don’t spout this kind of crap to your childfree friends “you’ll change your mind!!”
That’s like me saying “You’ll regret having kids. Even if you don’t regret it right now…eventually you will!!!”
and p.s. she didn’t say never
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Not wasting $1.95!
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