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baden clay 380x237 The Baden Clay kids have lost both their parents.

Allison Baden-Clay disappeared from her home in Brisbane on April 19, 2012. Her body was found in a creek 11 days later.

by KATE HUNTER

I did it again this morning. Even though I told myself I wouldn’t.

Along with most of Brisbane, I gossiped about the Baden-Clay case.

I was at my daughter’s netball practice, and another mum said her husband, a lawyer,  couldn’t help with the kids this morning because he had to be in court.

‘His client isn’t named Gerard, I hope?’ I joked. Ha ha ha.

Sometimes I despise myself.

Because as soon as the words were our of my mouth, I looked at our 9 year old girls darting about the netty court – their biggest concern being pulled up for stepping. Then I shut up, remembering the three Baden Clay girls aren’t actors on CSI or characters in a book, but kids no different to mine.  Except they’ve lost their mum in the worst of circumstances – violently and famously – and now they face losing their father too.

Brisbane works hard to shake off its ‘big country town’ label. But like any city, we’re a collection of gossipy little villages. It’s three degrees of separation in suburbia, and you don’t have to look far to know someone who went to school with Allison Baden-Clay, or worked with her husband, or whose parents knew their parents. The rumor mill is working overtime, and last night, updates on Baden Clay’s arrest filled the boring bits in the State Of Origin telecast.

How weird that only 48 hours ago we were feeling bad about how we’d vilified Lindy Chamberlain for how she looked and behaved after her daughter’s death.

It was so much fun, back then, to play armchair detective and chat about whether it was possible to fit a dead baby into a camera bag. It must never happen again, we said.

But it’s irresistible, this type of murder – a real-life whodunit, and it’s happening just up the road. And these days, news doesn’t stop, even when there’s no news, and the opportunities for speculation are endless. There’s even a website where you can post your personal theories, based on what you heard at the hairdresser. But the hairdresser’s sister’s boyfriend once bought a house from a guy who worked with Baden Clay, so he would know. Sometimes I wonder why we bother with police at all.

Gerard Baden Clay’s arrest is news. His trial will be covered in salacious detail.

And all the while, three little girls will be trying to get through each day without their parents – going to school, maybe playing netball. Just like my girls. I must remember that.

Kate Hunter is a mother of three and the writer of all sorts of things. In addition her work as a columnist at Mamamia, she’s an advertising copywriter with hundreds of ads under her belt and an occasional panellist on The Gruen Transfer. She’s also written The Mosquito Advertising trilogy of novels for young readers about a bunch of kids who start their own advertising agency. You can follow her ramblings on twitter @katelhunter (and you should – she’s brilliant).

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108 Comments so far

  1. Bingo

    Restrained and sensitively handled Mamamia. Better than what I’ve seen everywhere else.

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  2. Betsy

    It has been a big topic of coversation in our community too but no one has made jokes about it. It devastatingly sad for all involved least of all the children. It also highlights the very real issue of domestic violence in every socio economic group. Maybe this isn’t the right issue for flippant blog commentary.

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  3. Lana

    I really loved the way you made me think about this Kate. Real people, real anguish and real respect x

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  4. Anon

    It’s a bit odd that the title implies the article is about the Baden-Clay case, when what you have actually written about is yourself. This tragic event really isn’t about any of us, or Lindy Chamberlain, or anybody else except the family. Clearly you had good intentions, but I actually find this article a bit insensitive.

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    • essessesse

      If writing about something from a personal perspective & demonstrating reflection is ‘writing about yourself’ then yes, Kate has.

      Personally I think she’s taken a very difficult topic & shown a great deal of insight into her actions.

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    • Dana

      I can go to a news site to read the facts. I come to mamamia to read personal insights and opinions. This nailed it for me today.

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  5. Helen

    OMG, what a life you must lead that you can stand around and also blog about the horror that this family is living. Clearly you have haven’t lost a member of your family. Your mother must be alive, because the heartache of losing your mother and best friend can never be replaced. I live this nighrmare everyday, I saw my mother murdered, it will never leave me. My children will never know there grandmother, because someone thought they had the right to take her life away. You need to get a life and leave people like this alone, so they can grieve without stupid, people making it something to gossip about. Grow up, and I don’t know what you are teaching your kids, but I’m teaching mine respect.

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    • Still cold

      Easy does it, Helen.

      I’m so sorry about your mother, that’s unthinkable. You’re clearly upset about this but it is news, whether we like it or not.

      I just thought Kate was making the point that these little girls are real people & that we should think before we speak and judge.It’s not very fair of you to question the way she’s bringing up her children, either.

      So so sorry about your mum. Big hugs.

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    • nicmclachlan

      Helen, I’m not sure why you’ve taken aim at Kate? Her post was precisely about the need to remember that this family is going through something unspeakably awful – as I’m so sorry you and yours did – and that it absolutely shouldn’t be gossip fodder. And she’s right.

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    • Susan As Well

      Of all the commentators on this post, I guess you would understand more than anyone about how the girls might be feeling, Helen. I, for one, can understand your outrage. This must have been an awfully hard and painful post for you to read. Take good care of yourself.

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    • Guest

      Helen,
      There is no need to attack Kate when she was simply trying to remind us all of the human lives and emotions involved in this story. I am so so sorry for your loss but Kate is not the bad guy and neither is anyone here.
      We are simply trying to make sense and navigate our way through a very sad public story – no matter how private the family’s pain, this is still major national news and will be discussed.
      I think this was a very empathetic way to approach it.

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    • Anonymous

      Why do you come to a site like MM if you don’t want articles written about various topics? We do live in a world where some people have almost become immune to the tragedy around us. Television, movies and the news has made us become desensitized to what happens around us.

      We all make various remarks, many very inappropriate about current events. This article is about that and how playing arm chair detective isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

      IfI you don’t like there sorts of articles, stick to the news.

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  6. Anon

    I’ve read every post on here. There is a worrying lack of understanding about the way our legal system works. Someone has been arrested for a crime. This is because the police have decided to formally accuse this person of that crime. This does not mean they are guilty – just that there will be a trial, the evidence for and against will be presented and a jury will decide the verdict. Dont be so naive to think that all the information is made known to the public in any case. All we know for a fact at this stage is that SOMEONE committed this awful crime and a family is suffering. The rest is based on the small amount of info filtered through the media. Any high profile cases prompt discussion, and this is normal. Of course there will be theories, and while we all may have one, voiceing them on social media is probably not appropriate. I think all Kate was trying to communicate by this post was that while this may seem like an intriguing case, and it is, try to remember that this could be anyone’s family, including your own.

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  7. redqueen

    So now these kids have lost both their parents, if he is guilty why not just get a divorce for FFS? Why do these men turn to murder? A news report early this morning mentioned that his ‘mistress’ has rolled him for an immunity deal. I just feel so sorry for those kids.

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  8. Louisec

    Police arrest innocent people frequently.

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  9. Clairec

    By heading the article “the Baden Clay children have lost both their parents” is a bit misleading. Their mother is dead and their father will stand trial. Even if he goes to jail should he be found guilty he will still be their father. What relationship he could possibly have with them under those circumstances is anyone’s guess. What a mess for those poor children and their maternal grandparent.

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  10. Anonymous

    Lindy Chamberlain is a very different case and also a long time ago when looking at forensic tests that can be done now. Compared to 30 years ago, we are lightyears ahead.

    We also have to remember that sometimes the police just don’t have enough evidence to charge someone, despite the fact that there guilty.

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  11. Anouk

    Actually,now that you brought it up:how exactly DID they suddenly decide it was dingoes after all…?That’s a bit of a mystery too,isn’t it…perhaps they just wanted to close that case after all this time…?

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  12. Amber.E

    Kate,Thanks for the article.. I have a new baby & read mamma mia to tune into whats going in!! This is first on the news..you merely wrote about a hot topic! No one disagrees that it’s not heartbreaking for those dear little kids & the rest of the family. This is no secret hush hush case.It was just reported on the news.. “the story that has captivated the nation”.It’s human nature to talk & I think it makes us all feel a little more connected. The thought of it happening to us or a family member is terrifying. I was also ten years old when the ‘chamberlain story’ was talked about quite openly. I think it was a very honest article. I too have had numerous conversations with my husband, mum, sisters about this sad sad story.I think we all agree it’s a tragedy.

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  13. Lisa Jensen

    I feel so sad for those poor little girls – not only have they essentially lost both their parents, but the relentless coverage means they will have no escape, they will be constantly reminded of it :-(

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  14. essessesse

    The press were dropping heavy hints at the husbands involvement in the days after Mrs Baden Clay’s disappearance. They were doing everything but saying that he did it.

    We don’t know what happened. We have minimal facts. Unless any of us end up on the jury or working on the case I don’t see that changing much.

    I lost my mother when I was nine. I can’t tell you what hell that was. If I’d lost my father as well I would have been completely destroyed. Fortunately for me my family drama wasn’t played out for the world to see, the only sympathetic looks I got were from people who knew me. A small comfort, but that’s something the Baden Clay girls won’t get.

    Whatever the outcome, those little girls are in the worst kind of hell right now. And yes, we do need to remember that.

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  15. BlackSwan

    Kate I can see where your coming from. It’s so easy to get caught up in the interest, the gossip, the theorys and forget that there are 3 little girls who’s world has been turned upside down.
    My thoughts are with those girls and I hope others can keep them in mind before saying things like your trying to, hard as it is.

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  16. amd

    Hasn’t everybody said something stupid and in extremely poor taste at one time in their life? Made a stupid or insensitive joke? I have. Sometime the brain does not engage before the mouth opens. All you can do is be disgusted with yourself, apologise and vow to be more careful. I think Kate did that. I loved this post because it was human. I too talked about the case this morning with my husband, but felt (inexplicably??) a bit sick when I heard school mums talking about it an hour later. Talking about things is human nature, but we just have to be aware of time and place etc.

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    • Susan As Well

      Agree that we all say things that we regret and that is just being human.

      I would very much disagree that it is a right or good thing to demonstrate how human I am at the expense of the feelings of the girls though. Their feelings are way more important and should be considered first. They are the ones who are undoubtedly suffering exponentially more than Kate. They could be reading this post right now or hear people talking about it and I imagine it would not help them in any way at all.

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  17. Anonymous

    Umm having an affair makes you guilty of murder? I think you’ve jumped a few steps there! Come on…

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    • Anonymous

      To clarify – for him, an affair might be a motive. But I don’t think that makes the Other Woman just as guilty (unless she is actively involved in the plot).

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    • Anonymous

      No it doesn’t mean he killed her. BUT it is more statistically likely that a partner who is having an affair is more likely to murder their partner/spouse. There actually is data correlation to that effect. I would assume because an affair suggests other factors about the relationship (unhappy relationship, troubles at home and the like).

      Not all people who have affairs murder their spouse but some do.

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      • Anonymous

        Hello, read my clarification above!

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        • whatahooha

          You Anonymousi are very confusing. Can’t you think of a name that makes you anonymous but identifiable? how about: Kate, Uber, RingDing, Hoopie, Alison, Mya, Ridge.
          Help me out here.

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          • No longer quite anonymous!

            It does get confussing. I was replying to this comment:

            “Umm having an affair makes you guilty of murder? I think you’ve jumped a few steps there! Come on…”

            I mentioned the statistic information which shows a strong correlation between partners having an affairs going onto kill their spouse/partner.

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  18. Anon

    I lived in Kholo for about a year and travelled over that bridge nearly everyday to go to school. There was another woman that went missing whilst I was there and her keys and clothes were found under the same place under that bridge in 1990 – Kelly Anne Gallon. It was hugely distressing, I can’t understand why people would want to gossip about these things. I was only ten but I can never forget her photos on the news and her parents… sometimes I still think about it but not something that I would ever discuss with anyone. I hope her parents have found some sort of peace.

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  19. Jimmy's Girl

    While everyone entering the legal system is presumed innocent until proven guilty, very often in real life the reality is fairly clear to those investigating. Step 1 is to investigate the partner to either (a) clear him/her immediately, or (b) determine whether the partner is a suspect, as this appears reasonably common according to the statistics. I BELIEVE the police suspected the partner in this case from the word go.

    The public statements by police are often ‘coded’ in such a way as to indicate who they believe the suspect to be – and I believe that was true in this case. The media then reports on that basis, and the public can infer that there is no reasonable threat to them. As a supporting statement to this, I don’t recall the police conducting a ‘manhunt’ to find the murderer on the loose or warning residents to lock their doors or the like. Why did they not do this? I believe this is because the suspect was being monitored and there was no ‘murderer on the loose’ as such.

    The two-month delay in charges being laid was to gather firm evidence that would stand up in court. Before everyone jumps on me – this is what I BELIEVE and I am entitled to my opinion.

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    • Anonymous

      If they had direct evidence, he would have been charged long ago. It took them two months. We can infer from that that they have circumstantial evidence only.

      Not impossible to convict on circumstantial evidence, of course

      Irrespective, the presumption of innocence is fundamental to the operation of a common law legal system.

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      • Lulu

        “If they had direct evidence, he would have been charged long ago. It took them two months. We can infer from that that they have circumstantial evidence only.”

        Who is this ‘we’ and what is this ‘direct evidence’? These things take time, even if there is forensic evidence.

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        • Anonymous

          Do you know the difference between direct and circumstantial evidence, Lulu?

          Direct evidence is for example – a witness who saw the murder. There is none here. That would have resulted in an arrest almost immediately.

          Circumstantial evidence consists of a fact or set of facts which, if proven, will support the creation of an inference that he did it. So forensic evidence is circumstantial not direct. Hence the delay.

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      • Jimmy's Girl

        Absolutely, I agree. The evidence, most likely circumstantial and forensic in nature (which may explain the time delay) will be judged in court, and the jury – who will be the only people to hear the full and total story – will be in a position to make the judgement.

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    • Anonymous

      Most times the police have a good idea very quickly who is their main suspect. It is quite rare that they don’t know because the majority of murders are committed by someone known to the victim and usually a very close friend or family member

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  20. ash

    Hmmm, I still wonder if he really, really did it though. Innocent until proven guilty and all. I wonder what the evidence was that led to the arrest and whether the police have just hit a dead end.

    It has elements of Corryn and Lloyd Rayney in Perth … and look how far that’s gotten so many years later.

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    • Anonymous

      Police dont just charge people with murder because they ‘hit a dead end.’

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  21. Pips

    Kate, this post gave me shivers. Can’t imagine what those poor kids are going through.

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  22. SamanthaN

    Kate, you took the words out of my heart and put them on a page. Thank you.

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  23. Jackson

    I understand that Kate wrote this post with kindness and compassion and she is being very sensitive to the topic but I can’t help but feel that it is still someone in the media jumping on the bandwagon. All you have really done kate, is find a different ‘hook” for your post.

    I don’t think that using the excuse “everyone else is talking about it so it is ok” makes it ok.
    I wish Mia and the team had shown some restraint here and refrained from ANY reporting on this story.

    The children involved are aged 10 and younger. The two oldest are at an age that they can google their family on the net and find everything written about them, their mother and their father.

    Kate, is this post going to ‘add” anything to the story?
    Is it going to help the family?
    Is it going to assist the public in understanding anything more about the case?
    Is it your job to tell any part of this story?
    Are you potentially hurting the family?
    Would you want this to be written about your family?

    Apart from “everyone is is writing about it” is there actually any reason you needed to write this?

    I am generally all for live and let live and if you don’t like a story don’t read it, but this article is ‘yuckky” and in my opinion in bad taste and unnecessary.

    Sorry MM but this time I think you got it very wrong.

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    • katehunter

      Jackson, I take your points, I really do. But I didn’t say anything about the case or the families involved. If I said anything negative about anyone it was about myself. I’m very sorry Allison’s family is going through this. I did think of them as I wrote it. I honestly don’t think my words could make what they are going through any worse.

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      • Jackson

        Thanks for taking the time to reply Kate.
        Like I said I think what you wrote was not unkind and was written with sensitivity, we will just have to agree to disagree on if this piece should have been published or not.

        Thanks again for your reply

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    • Helena

      Jackson – I disagree. I think this was handled sensitively. You may not like it but it’s the biggest story in Australia at the moment.
      I come to Mamamia to read about what’s going on in the world and I would expect them to cover it here. There is not a single thing salacious or sensational about this treatment.

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      • Inga

        I know we have to be careful what we say but this story raises all kinds of issues about what goes on inside families and behind closed doors. If what I’m hearing is true, this is a story that Mamamia MUST continue to cover.

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      • Jackson

        Ummm, in BOTH of my replies I quite clearly said that what Kate wrote was handled with sensitivity.
        Not sure what your point is Helena?

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      • Sydgel

        totally agree Helena.

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  24. Ami

    Well the police arrested Lindy Chamberlain didn’t they? She served three years in jail.

    She has proved above and beyond this week there are miscarriages of justice, even in Australia.

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    • Tania

      Ami, I’m not sure that we can compare this to the Chamberlain case which occurred 32 years ago. With the advances in police forensics and evidence gathering we can hopefully assume that the police have the evidence to support their arrest.

      I live in Perth so have not heard the level of detail about the case as those in Qld, other than knowing she was missing, however I saw several news updates throughout the night last night and it has been on my mind… those poor girls who have lost their mother in presumably gruesome circumstances at the hand of their own father.

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      • Anonymous

        Having enough evidence to arrest is not the same as proving beyond a reasonable doubt that he is guilty.

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      • Ami

        I am in no way comparing the specifics of this case to that of Lindy Chamberlin.

        What I am saying is people have been arrested in the past who have been innocent.
        As someone said above, innocent until proven guilty is a fundamental aspect of our legal system.

        I could have used more recent and high profile aquittals, including Jeffrey Gilham and Gordan Wood.

        However, I found it ironic Anouk saying he’s definitely guilty when one of the biggest criminal cases in Australia’s history was resolved this week. How many people said the same thing about Lindy Chamberlain?

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  25. Petal

    Yes, you’re right Kate. I remember when this happened I said to my husband – “the husband will be arrested by the end of the month”.

    I think we all must learn from the Chamberlain case that we shouldn’t judge. He has agreed to a DNA test too which to me suggests he’s not afraid of what it will show.

    Those poor girls. Imagine growing up knowing your father murdered your mother. As if growing up isn’t hard enough.

    PS Kate can I have your job – watching your daughter play netball then jetting home to shoot off an article for MM- what a dream!

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  26. maggie

    So you KNOW that he is guilty do you?

    If all jury’s believed that “it’s always the husband” there would a large number of innocent people in jail.

    Police arrest lots of people, a lot never get charged. For all we know there was pressure on them to make an arrest so they choose “the most liekly person”.

    It’s happened before.

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    • Anonymous

      Unfortunately 8 times out of 10 it IS the spouse or partner of the deceased. It’s a simple fact in murders. I have worked with law enforcement so yes, I know what I’m talking about.

      No this doesn’t prove he is guilty but once the police arrest you, is it far more likely that you ARE guilty. The police don’t get it wrong THAT often, I assure you. I have no direct connection to this case but several things that have come up in the media would certainly suggest he is guilty. Having a lawyer within 24 hours of his wife going missing and then hiring a second lawyer once the body was found speaks volumes, I assure you.

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      • Anonymous

        No it does not.

        The problem with the media and people like you, is that you take a set of individual circumstances and make the presumption he is guilty. Having a lawyer within 24 hours is NOT indicative of guilt. That is outrageous. This country operates a legal system where the presumption of innocence is fundamental. Enough evidence to charge is not proving beyond a reasonable belief he did it.

        The police get it wrong often. Let’s not forget the thousands of people killed on death row in America who were exonerated years later.

        Oh and I’m a lawyer, so I know what I’m talking about.

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        • Anonymous

          Maybe you missed where I said I worked within law enforcement. I assure you it IS something police would look at, having a lawyer so quickly and for no apparent reason, the wife was only missing at that stage.

          I’m aware of the legal system as would you be, more so unless you work in criminal law.

          Police do get it wrong but it’s far more likely they are right.

          Also to compare Australia to the USA is like comparing apples and oranges. They’re very different legal systems

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          • Anonymous

            Sorry, both Australia and America operate off a common law legal system. They are not that different, fundamentally. It’s like comparing two different brands of an apple – it’s still an apple just tastes a bit different.

            GBC may have gotten a lawyer straight away because of the way he was questioned when she first went missing. If, on him reporting her missing, they started asking him if he hit her or something like that, perhaps he thought “shit these guys must think I did it, maybe I had better get a lawyer”.

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          • Anonymous

            Again, I have worked and have studied law enforcement. While fundamentally they’re the same, they’re quite different, even their court system is actually quite different when compared with ours

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        • Anonymous

          Not too many people worry about getting a lawyer when their spouse is missing. They more concerned about FINDING them. Unless of course he killed her…. Then he knew where she was and possibly suspected the police knew he had done it, sign of a guilty mind perhaps?

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  27. Marie

    We have all done it. Make a quick judgement before knowing the (or in fact) any facts.

    He was found guilty by the public before he got out of bed that morning.

    Its the nature of the beast, unfortunately.

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  28. zelicat

    I think the morbid fascination with cases like these are because the intrude on our own sense of safety and perception of the world. Allison Bayden- Clay is a woman that most of us can relate to.

    She is not a woman involved in crime or drugs, or shady business deals, she is not down a back alley in a foreign country.
    She was a mother in her own home. She is someone we would see on the school run, or in the local supermarket.
    It makes us question our own families, our own safety, and how well we know our spouses. If something so horrible could happen to a ‘normal’ family it could happen in our own family…

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    • Loop

      Agree. One of the reasons I don’t like to watch realistic horror movies featuring ordinary people being killed (like House of 1000 corpses etc, though Chuckie or Freddie is fine). Makes me unable to sleep at night :(

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  29. Bec Sparrow

    Kate, this post resonated with me. I’m a Brissie girl and I have friends who are connected in different ways to Allison (high school, work etc). Regardless of this post, many people ARE talking about the case (rightly or wrongly). Kate’s words are a reminder that like in Lindy Chamberlain’s situation we often get caught up speculating and fail to see the big picture. A mother who lost a newborn baby. Three little girls who have lost their mum. This post is a reminder for many people – me included.

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    • Susan As Well

      I’m a Brissie girl too and I’m not even remotely tempted to get into gossipy discussion about the case, in fact, I am repelled by the very thought of the gossip that will be generated. Everyone needs to show restraint out of respect to the little girls involved. I don’t understand how people can fail to show them that much compassion for all that they have just been through and all that they will now how to go through.

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      • amd

        I don’t think discussing the case within my family or with close friends whilst in private is unstrestrained, disrespectful, uncompassionate gossip. It’s what people do. Alot of what people are saying when they talk about IS “those poor little girls”. Sure there’s people who speculate, who are intrusive. who spread unsubstantiated rumours and who make gross generalisations. But that is a far cry from what I’ve been doing. I don’t think it’s wrong to WANT to talk about it. Like other people have said many people especially mums, see themselves in this case…

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        • Susan As Well

          I don’t feel that the girls shouldn’t be talked about with compassion and it’s great that you are doing this. This is what we all should be doing. There is a big difference between talking about them compassionately and gossiping or speculating about the situation. For me, personally, I find the gossiping repellant and the compassionate conversations far more useful in how to get my head around thinking of the girls and it sounds like you do too.

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    • Rosa

      I hope someone in their community is organising a meal rotation for the girls and grandparents. They will will need as much love and help as possible.

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  30. Anonymous

    innocent until proven otherwise……….

    So sad for those girls to grow up without their mother – lets hope their father is innoccent and they will at least have him!

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  31. My20cWorth

    Kate I think your commentary is refreshingly honest. Much as we all like to think we are above it or don’t like to admit it, at heart we do all ‘rubberneck’ in one way or another at these types of situations. I was humbled to hear Lindy C-C say that justice had finally been done this week, her grace is beyond me after everything she has been put through. Like Mia, I was 10 when that case occurred, and the very same things that happened then are happening now. If you look at the online commentary in certain ‘sleuthing’ forums it is little more than gossip and picking apart differences to create a bogeyman, and others bickering over who has the most inside knowledge or local-ness. Lost in all of that, as happened 30 years ago, is the tragedy, a death, a person who can never be replaced, a void created in so many lives. I really hope we can learn from the Chamberlain case, and think carefully how we respond to the current situation, and never forget there are 3 innocent children who have to live with this for the rest of their lives. I pray that as a community we can lift our own behaviour as you have suggested to do everything possible to not add to their horror, and give them every chance not to be defined by this.

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  32. sharoncello

    Great article Kate :)

    When we are distant from a situation it is fairly easy to be flippant and make jokes – it is good to remember that not everyone is distant from the situation and to feel empathy for them. My heart breaks for those children.

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  33. j

    I think the interest is stronger because Allison had these three children. I think Australia wants justice for them.

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  34. The Butler Did It

    Right from the get-go I suspected the husband, because statistically a woman is most likely to be killed by her partner than a total stranger. Won’t surprise me if it’s the old cliche of man having affair, man thinking life will be better with new chickie, man murdering wife as easier than divorce. Is this trial by media? Or merely a comment that we would all have around the water cooler anyway?

    Either way… it IS news. It IS topical. And the mere fact that people are talking about protecting the children will hopefully mean that there is some positive support for them. That to me is what the real spirit of the article is all about. That we shouldn’t forget the innocent little people who will be affected by this.

    It would be an awful indictment on society if no-one commented on this kind of thing. He may be guilty. He may be vindicated. Time will tell. But ignoring it would be worse than commenting.

    Why would you be reading blogs like Mamamia if you weren’t looking to get opinions on current affairs?

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    • hms

      I agree. My first thought was the husband because most people are killed by someone they know, frequently their spouse.

      Whether Mr B-C did it or not is now up to the courts to decide and I will try my hardest not to indulge in idle speculation whilst this process is happening.

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  35. Diana The Huntress

    Jesus Christ. How about keeping these kind of posts until after the trials? Now, it is most likely the outcome is going to be the assumed obvious/one, but trial by media is undermining due process in this country.

    Tacky. Poor form.

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    • Diana The Huntress

      “Gerard Baden Clay’s arrest is news. His trial will be covered in salacious detail.

      And all the while, three little girls will be trying to get through each day without their parents – going to school, maybe playing netball. Just like my girls. I must remember that.”

      Nice lip service. *After* you’ve already written an opinion piece about it. Niiiice.

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      • j

        I didn’t take this post to be negative at all. I think Kate is openly discussing what was wrong with her initial remark and using it as an opportunity to self reflect.

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        • Diana The Huntress

          Yeah, I get that Kate says it’s that way (and she might even believe it) but the fact remains even having an article about it is buying into the media circus. It is.

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    • beee

      Kate didnt say anything about who’s guilty and who’s not. She’s just saying that in all the gossip and media about this story (and others like it), we need to remember the children and those who unwillingly are affected by this tragic event.

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  36. Alice

    It really is so tragic. What’s even sadder (on a more general level) is that the second she was missing, I, and probably many others, thought “great, her husband’s murdered her”. Not because I know anything about him, but because that always seems to be how these kind of cases end up – the woman was murdered by their ex/partner.

    Awareness of domestic violence is going up, but I wonder if the rate of occurance is going down?

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    • Anonymous

      No, it isn’t sadly. The number is actually going up.

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      • Alice

        I wonder why that is? Is it going up dramatically, or just a bit?

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  37. katehunter

    I’m sorry you feel that way, LN but this post wasn’t about generating traffic. I can think of a million better ways to generate clicks than this. It’s about me and my reaction and how I need to try harder to remember this is a real tragedy, not a television whodunnit.

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    • maggie

      Cute cats would do the job in click factor :)

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  38. Laws for Clouds

    Keeping the case low-profile will help the children get through the next few days, but would it help them if the spotlight got turned off, no one knew about this, no one came forward with evidence, and police resources went to another case?

    If someone murdered my mother I’d want to know who. Especially if it was my dad.

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  39. phoodietweets

    So sad. So very, very sad. Those poor girls.

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  40. Anonymous

    The Baden-Clay children may have lost their mother, but they have not lost their father unless the DPP can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he murdered Alison. People would do well to remember the presumption of innocence.

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    • maggie

      YES to this.

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    • Quick to judge

      Just ask Lindy Chamberlain, bless her strength and courage. If he is indeed guilty by the court system and not public speculation, he will get the punishment he deserves. Unfortunately his girls will not get the same justice for they have lost their mother regardless if he did it or not.

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    • becauseimthemum

      I disagree Anonymous, those little girls have lost their father. Whether he is innocent or guilty he will spend time in prison until he is bailed or the case goes to court. They will either have a father who is an innocent man in jail with the worst of society, or they will have a father who is guilty of murdering their mother and will spend a very long time in jail. Either way they have lost him.

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      • Anonymous

        becausei’mthemum, if he his granted bail on Monday – he won’t go back to prison unless he breaches his bail conditions. That means he would have been incarcerated for 5 days only.

        Of course, if he is found guilty, he will go to jail.

        If he is not granted bail (and subsequently found innocent) – the children will have temporarily lost him, but he will come back to them.

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        • Michelle

          But if he’s not granted bail, and they wait for the outcome of the trial he could be gone for years.
          My ex is still going through a court case for a crime that was committed in July 2008. He was arrested Sept 08 He still has not been sentanced.
          The legal system is a joke sometimes, and it can take years for resolutions. Those kids could be without an innocent father for a long time…
          If he’s guilty, then it will be even longer, of course!

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  41. Anonymous

    “It was so much fun, back then, to play armchair detective and chat about whether it was possible to fit a dead baby into a camera bag.”

    … Yeah real fun!

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    • Mia

      But it’s true. I was 10 when Azaria went missing but I remember the chit chat wasn’t hushed or reverant. It didn’t contain any sympathy or appreciation of the fact a real person had been tragically killed.
      It was flip and jokey and gossipy. Like you would discuss a TV show.
      Beautiful post Kate.
      My heart goes out to those Baden Clay kids. What a legacy they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.

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      • LN

        Mia, my feelings are that this post is a little bit “flip” and perhaps a little more sensitivity shown.

        I remember the Azaria case well. I cannot really draw any comparisons.

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      • Sad Times

        I remember back in the 80′s while at the Royal Show in Perth a man was selling novelty t-shirts at his stall. One in particular caught my eye. It was one with Azaria written across it with the “A” being a pair of bloodied scissors. I was shocked then and to this day it still sickens me. I for one hope he never sold one. My Mum was mortified when I told her about it. I was 11 years old and have never forgotten it.

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        • tastebud

          I remember those T-shirts. Unbelievable.

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  42. Jess2

    I see nothing wrong with talking about it….it’s topical and current. I think crimes should be talked about so they are “open”. Open discussion makes for accountability. My grandfather was murdered 60 years ago and no one ever spoke about it…my father now says how wrong that was. I say talk away Kate.

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  43. odette

    Thanks for this, Kate. I’m from Brisbane (although I live in NSW now), and my sister and a lot of friends still live there. I don’t know the family but probably have very few degress of separation as I went to Kenmore High.

    On my Facebook feed last night, my sister had something to the effect of “Hope the bastard rots in jail” or similar, with many other comments echoing her sentiments. I ended up having a ridiculous internet argument saying, “Woah, hang on. Weren’t we all feeling for Lindy Chamberlain, like, YESTERDAY?! Let the legal process do it’s thing first. No need to vilify him before we know the facts”. I don’t think I convinced anyone. :(

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    • maggie

      and the fact he has been arrested only.

      Not charged and sentenced. They could be wrong.

      *edit: Just read he WAS charged last night. But whether found guilty or not…..

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      • Anonymous

        Unfortunately with the media being so pervasive and all the law & order type TV shows everyone now assumes guilty before the accused has a chance to defend themselves.

        And even if they are found innocent, most people still assume guilt.
        We don’t have a system of “innocent until proven guilty” anymore, its all a farce.

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  44. Guest

    I, like many people, had been following the story intently waiting for an outcome. Some news stories just do that I suppose, you want to follow the whole case from start to finish. I always suspected the husband, but never wanted it to be true. I cannot even begin to imagine what the family and those 3 little girls are going through. As selfish as it may sound, I’ve felt really down since hearing the news last night.

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  45. Nicky

    and yet Kate, you chose to write about it. To add to what is going to be a huge amount of white noise about this case, to make your digital fingerprint on the story. Why??

    I am struggling to find any purpose at all for this post.
    Did we not learn ANY THING about the Chamberlain case??

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    • Renee

      I’m pretty sure that’s what Kate’s trying to say there Nicky, at least that’s what I got from it. That and the fact that whatever way you look at it, lets not forget that three little girls are without parents today.

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    • Mia

      Hi Nicky,
      We asked Kate to write this piece. We have been talking for some time about this case – like so many others – and we wanted to cover it in some way.
      There are many many issues above and below the surface of it and it has captured national attention.
      Since Gerard Baden Clay has not yet been found guilty, we have had to be very careful about which angle we should take. Clearly it’s something many MM readers have been discussing.
      Living in Brisbane, where speculation and interest has been most feverish, I asked Kate for her take on the story.
      I think she handled it sensitively and with compassion.

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      • Anon2

        I thought this was a timely reminder that these are real people and three very real little girls whose lives will never be the same again. I will try to remain neutral until there has been a court case. However I would hope that if I went for an evening walk and didn’t come home, my husband wouldn’t wait til the following morning to report me missing!

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  46. anon

    I think most people thought it was him and it was only a matter of time before the puzzle was worked out by our amazing police….so tragic for the poor little girls. And the grandparents and their extended families.
    I just dont understand. Why couldnt he just leave if he was unhappy?

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  47. Margs

    I just can’t get this one out of my head. It really disturbs me. The poor girls have lost their mother in horrific circumstances. Then their father is charged with the murder. Just so horrible. Messing with my head.

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